Shadowcat
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2019
- Messages
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I have wanted to make this post for sometime, Seeing a lot of people post about loneliness and isolation, fear of losing or never finding the right friends or partners or even clinging on to the wrong people to keep the peace or to not lose someone at all.
If one is so stubborn and oblivious, Saturn and the strict lessons it has, will make a point eventually to make one understand what the problem is and understand for one's own good why this must never be repeated again. You will either have to purge Saturn or be purged by Saturn. Both have the same outcome with the latter being far more painful and "learning the hard way" and depending on the situation, you may not be the same person for it anymore. Saturn is not always inherently a negative planet. It is either the teacher, the inspector, or the disciplinary or in extreme cases even the punisher. Where ever you fall on the spectrum is your responsibility and yours alone. Most people do not realize their Saturn Is their own self made blockages or obstacles that one refuses to face either from fear or even habit, being completely oblivious as to why the same negative patterns happen over and over again.
Many people as we know happen to have Saturn or even other planets in places that can affect how relationships with others manifest for better or worse. Neptune can blind one to reality or being prone to believe an illusion, or giving in to dissolution or being too weak. Pluto can make one obsessive and cause one to enmesh too quickly. The list goes on.
One of the ugliest things that can manifest for toxic relationships, romantic, familial, or platonic is codependency to an addict, or someone who is mentally ill or abusive.
Codependents often grow up in families that:
Codependency in of itself is a mental illness, and because like attracts like, until this is unlearned, either through a hard lesson, or ideally, waking up to negative patterns before life changes and teaches you, codependents will thus continually attract, friends and partners, and keep around family members who are toxic to their existence that continue to abuse and take advantage of them. Broken attracts broken, and most codependents don't realize that they are very broken people. The sad reality is, most relationships ARE codependent, because so many people have very little self worth. They go through great lengths to tolerate and endure what should not be forgiven and forgotten because they fear conflict or being alone. When one grows up with the aforementioned, especially in a household that is run by abrahamic religions, these people will have the toxic mindset of confusing love with endurance, and red flags as challenges to be overcome.
Stop enabling the alcoholic parent or the cousin addicted to meth. Stop trying to figure out and appease the constant mood swings of the Borderline or Histrionic Narcissist as they begin to devalue you after telling you a week ago they were your favorite person. Stop making excuses for the partner who cheats on you or hits you, or hides things and lies about it. Don't let yourself be someone's emotional tampon or let them force you to go with their flow of feelings being facts. These people can be unhinged and make accusations against you that can cost you your life or your freedom. The drunkard and drug addict will play with your life if you keep the peace by letting them drive. The cousing with constant moodswings who is on SSRIS who refuses effective treatment or to better their lives in any way will drain you until you have nothing left.
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE THESE PEOPLE OR GIVE THEM ADVICE. You cannot help people who refuse to help themselves. Especially if you are a minor, you cannot take on an adult responsibility of trying to save a parent from the one that is abusive. This is not your job. You cannot continuously help a person financially with a gambling problem because they will never learn their lesson. The will keep bumming money off of you knowing you will always say yes. The narcissist and the borderline will discard you time and time again knowing you will take them back after they get bored with whoever they left you for or when they think the reason they devalued you no longer applies. Your sanity will be drained. Your pocketbook will be drained. Your life and freedom can be put at risk as well as your mental, physical and emotional health.
There have been people who have been mentally and financially ruined by gambling and drug addicts. People close to partners and close family with cluster B personality disorders say that these relationships were the most traumatizing thing in their lives and things they were accused of nearly drove them to suicide. They were browbeaten and gaslit to believe they were the sole and only problem in EVERYTHING, while constantly trying to love and fix someone that NEVER believed they were loved, pouring energy into a bottomless pit. It is a red flag if someone lovebombs you or wants to enmesh too quickly too fast. RUN. if they black list all their exes without taking accountability. RUN. if they have addictions or any serious mental health problems...you know the drill. Don't look back.
Codependents think "well its one last time...they say they are going to change for real this time." "we can go to counseling" "he told me he stopped drinking."...on and on. This is called hoovering. Never fall for it. Have the self respect to leave and never look back.
Get off your knees. The world isn't all like mom and dads house where you had to grow up too fast or school where you had to throw yourself under the bus to keep the peace. Build your life, your hobbies, your body, your friend circle (with good people), and find a purpose worthy of a Zevist. Go foraging and hiking, go to an animal shelter. Work with your hands. When you have this you feel your worth, accomplishment and meaning and know you are worthy of quality love and time. You will understand finally that your energy, time and money and love are conditional and are a precious currency. Be willing to walk away ALWAYS. never tolerate disrespect. Do not let addicts or the mentally ill into your life. Fix what is broken in you to stop this from happening so you won't feel so low and lonely that you will grab the first piece of garbage that comes along. Cut off that toxic family member. Set boundaries. Learn that it is ok to say no. Do not be afraid to be alone. Do not hoard the toxic because you feel unworthy of acceptance or feel useless. Would you drink poison just because there is no water?
Freeing the soul workings or the Ganesha mantra for Lord Janus works wonders in letting go of these obstacles. Be open to the things and opportunities to take to actively do the work for transformation to a solid self worth and attracting people of worth.
Codependency is a disease. If this rings true for anyone who reads this. Get well soon. Your life depends on it.
Hail Zeus!
If one is so stubborn and oblivious, Saturn and the strict lessons it has, will make a point eventually to make one understand what the problem is and understand for one's own good why this must never be repeated again. You will either have to purge Saturn or be purged by Saturn. Both have the same outcome with the latter being far more painful and "learning the hard way" and depending on the situation, you may not be the same person for it anymore. Saturn is not always inherently a negative planet. It is either the teacher, the inspector, or the disciplinary or in extreme cases even the punisher. Where ever you fall on the spectrum is your responsibility and yours alone. Most people do not realize their Saturn Is their own self made blockages or obstacles that one refuses to face either from fear or even habit, being completely oblivious as to why the same negative patterns happen over and over again.
Many people as we know happen to have Saturn or even other planets in places that can affect how relationships with others manifest for better or worse. Neptune can blind one to reality or being prone to believe an illusion, or giving in to dissolution or being too weak. Pluto can make one obsessive and cause one to enmesh too quickly. The list goes on.
One of the ugliest things that can manifest for toxic relationships, romantic, familial, or platonic is codependency to an addict, or someone who is mentally ill or abusive.
Codependents often grow up in families that:
- Where chaotic emotionally where appeasement was used to calm an angry or stressed parent or relative
- Where saying no felt like shamed or would make others angry or aggressive
- Where a child had to grow up too quickly to look after a weak addict parent
- Where a child felt responsible for trying to "save" a vulnerable family member from harm or punishment
Codependency in of itself is a mental illness, and because like attracts like, until this is unlearned, either through a hard lesson, or ideally, waking up to negative patterns before life changes and teaches you, codependents will thus continually attract, friends and partners, and keep around family members who are toxic to their existence that continue to abuse and take advantage of them. Broken attracts broken, and most codependents don't realize that they are very broken people. The sad reality is, most relationships ARE codependent, because so many people have very little self worth. They go through great lengths to tolerate and endure what should not be forgiven and forgotten because they fear conflict or being alone. When one grows up with the aforementioned, especially in a household that is run by abrahamic religions, these people will have the toxic mindset of confusing love with endurance, and red flags as challenges to be overcome.
Stop enabling the alcoholic parent or the cousin addicted to meth. Stop trying to figure out and appease the constant mood swings of the Borderline or Histrionic Narcissist as they begin to devalue you after telling you a week ago they were your favorite person. Stop making excuses for the partner who cheats on you or hits you, or hides things and lies about it. Don't let yourself be someone's emotional tampon or let them force you to go with their flow of feelings being facts. These people can be unhinged and make accusations against you that can cost you your life or your freedom. The drunkard and drug addict will play with your life if you keep the peace by letting them drive. The cousing with constant moodswings who is on SSRIS who refuses effective treatment or to better their lives in any way will drain you until you have nothing left.
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE THESE PEOPLE OR GIVE THEM ADVICE. You cannot help people who refuse to help themselves. Especially if you are a minor, you cannot take on an adult responsibility of trying to save a parent from the one that is abusive. This is not your job. You cannot continuously help a person financially with a gambling problem because they will never learn their lesson. The will keep bumming money off of you knowing you will always say yes. The narcissist and the borderline will discard you time and time again knowing you will take them back after they get bored with whoever they left you for or when they think the reason they devalued you no longer applies. Your sanity will be drained. Your pocketbook will be drained. Your life and freedom can be put at risk as well as your mental, physical and emotional health.
There have been people who have been mentally and financially ruined by gambling and drug addicts. People close to partners and close family with cluster B personality disorders say that these relationships were the most traumatizing thing in their lives and things they were accused of nearly drove them to suicide. They were browbeaten and gaslit to believe they were the sole and only problem in EVERYTHING, while constantly trying to love and fix someone that NEVER believed they were loved, pouring energy into a bottomless pit. It is a red flag if someone lovebombs you or wants to enmesh too quickly too fast. RUN. if they black list all their exes without taking accountability. RUN. if they have addictions or any serious mental health problems...you know the drill. Don't look back.
Codependents think "well its one last time...they say they are going to change for real this time." "we can go to counseling" "he told me he stopped drinking."...on and on. This is called hoovering. Never fall for it. Have the self respect to leave and never look back.
Get off your knees. The world isn't all like mom and dads house where you had to grow up too fast or school where you had to throw yourself under the bus to keep the peace. Build your life, your hobbies, your body, your friend circle (with good people), and find a purpose worthy of a Zevist. Go foraging and hiking, go to an animal shelter. Work with your hands. When you have this you feel your worth, accomplishment and meaning and know you are worthy of quality love and time. You will understand finally that your energy, time and money and love are conditional and are a precious currency. Be willing to walk away ALWAYS. never tolerate disrespect. Do not let addicts or the mentally ill into your life. Fix what is broken in you to stop this from happening so you won't feel so low and lonely that you will grab the first piece of garbage that comes along. Cut off that toxic family member. Set boundaries. Learn that it is ok to say no. Do not be afraid to be alone. Do not hoard the toxic because you feel unworthy of acceptance or feel useless. Would you drink poison just because there is no water?
Freeing the soul workings or the Ganesha mantra for Lord Janus works wonders in letting go of these obstacles. Be open to the things and opportunities to take to actively do the work for transformation to a solid self worth and attracting people of worth.
Codependency is a disease. If this rings true for anyone who reads this. Get well soon. Your life depends on it.
Hail Zeus!
