What does Satan think of queer ppl?

[Lunar Dance 666]

...

Alright so here something I should point out to you. You mentioned that saying to your partner the thing about the sex change made you feel depressed and it sounded like you were coerced in saying it because he didnt accept you otherwise.
Basicly, you hurt yourself. You said some painful things to yourself. Respect yourself more. Don't belittle yourself. You are being your own worst enemy by doing that.

So you're a gay male? Alright. Nothing wrong with that.

You've got to do something about those hangups though.

Id suggest you do try to fantasize having gay sex (involving you) and trying again with your partner. Take the time as needed.

 

[Jack]

" post_id=324862 time=1644862947 user_id=21286]

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My opinion on the action philosphy

Ok, I believe I understand where you are coming from. I also went back and read through some of the older threads where you fought over gender relations.

I believe the total spiritual status and configuration of the person heavily influences their views and perceptions you describe. In a way, this can be very limiting, and certain people are better at objective reasoning than others, or in certain circumstances than others.

I can agree that your focus on action is empowering. I can also see how it would be limiting if you are unable to recognize both thoughts or actions which may initially seem useless, but have inherent potential. Anyone with underdeveloped lower chakras will have a harder time implementing any of the gifts from their higher chakras, for example.

In other words, someone could indirectly contribute something to what you value, and its full value may not be initially apparent. If you prematurely judge their actions at this stage, you could come to a limited conclusion about the full value of the individual. For someone else, this can be the opposite, and they could overvalue the positives in everyone, leading to naive conclusions.


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Limitations of action philosophy

I would be careful about developing strict views about homosexuals, women, and other groups based on past and current worldly events because our world has been under enemy occupation for so long. Therefore, any conclusions made now cannot really reflect the true nature of women, for example, as well as men.

Lydia had, in a moment of anger, accused you of not upholding Satanic ideals. She did this because she believed you were (unintentionally) incorporating prior Christian influence of women into your mindset. However, I can see how you were simply reacting to the world around you, but care must be taken to fully detach from anything pertaining to the enemy.

Women will always be better at upper chakra functions, with men being better at lower chakra functions. However, what you currently see in the world is not a true expression of either men or women. Even for humans in general, we are actually supposed to have our Kundalini risen by default.

In this way, your mindset may be limited if you cannot recognize the potential of certain people, especially those who meditate. As we advance, we are supposed to balance these qualities. That is how you get Gods like Astarte who are recognized as a warrior Goddess and Aries, even though this is traditionally a male trait. Yet, following your views, Astarte still embodies feminity as her overall identity.


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How karma strongly influences outcomes (such as forum drama)

Other examples include personal changes that happen through spiritual development. If you have a Libra Sun, then do an Aries Sun Square, your perceptions will totally change, as well as your abilities. Therefore, I would only fault the person if they refused to meditate, not for having a poor Sun placement.

This is what NakedPluto was saying to you, a while ago. He was basically expressing that such long-winded philosophical arguments are pointless when the solutions come from spiritual development, not the argument itself.

Do you find it funny that you argued with Tabby, who admitted she has discipline/low earth problems? Jrvan can also be combative and freedom-loving. So it is no surprise they took issue with you, nor is it a surprise that the conversations took the exact direction they did.

If the outcome was, let's say 80% already determined, and both people would never truly understand the other, then the hours spent arguing back and forth were wasted. More importantly, the fabric of our community was strained through emotional stress.

Personally, I believe the blunt "answer" to all the forum drama is basically just to separate the people and have them continue to mediate. This is especially true for noob drama. Of course, to actually implement this, one has to work with the emotions of those involved, which takes time.


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Capricorn mindset

I hope you don't get offended when I say that I believe your viewpoints derive from a Capricorn mindset. That is not to say you are a robot with predetermined outcomes. Anyone with a strong influence from certain astrological placements or karma will operate based on that.

That would then influence your views on homosexuality, women, and other items which may cause you to clash. Funny enough, your ability to stand unwavering (combined with your communicative ability), further angered others to the point where people are saying it is a problem and so on.

Like I mentioned before, I believe Capricorn can be summarized by the ability to work with limitations, both from the self and the world around you. That is why you hold such views about women which others have viewed as overly strict and limiting, especially if you are deriving your opinions based on the past (which was ruled by the enemy).

On the flip side, you are also correct that we should recognize how women or others may currently act if we are to successfully interact with them. However, individual differences exist, so one should look closely at the astrological chart. You should also understand how limited humanity has been by the enemy: the future will be unimaginably different from today.

"Earth people like tradition, and security is extremely important to them, they are cautious, deliberate, slow in forming opinions, and can be slow in everything they do. They are reserved, but they have exceptional endurance. They are practical, grounded, and level-headed. They are hard working, they dislike change and can be stuck in a routine for years without ever getting bored. They have a hard time adjusting to new situations and changes. "
JOS Source


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Conclusion

As I said, I am not trying to bug you or anything. The reason I am saying all of this is to add my input on the situation as to why people take offense to you. You are not the only one with certain faults either; some people's faults may make them hide under the surface, never to be known on JOS, for example.

The important point is to just stay focused on SS activities, not to get bogged down fighting battles that cannot be won, so to speak. When your views are directly challenged, this may require a bit of charisma and finesse to defuse the situation without actually yielding your points. Agree to disagree can sum it up well.

I did read your whole post, by the way, so don't think I didn't. I'm just jumping ahead to broader conclusions. I don't want you to feel like something is wrong with you, either. I'm just trying to permanently quell the drama.

The Philosophy of Action is against Gender norms or Sexuality and it empowers women too. A woman who achieved some high post In society with Grit does not fit into the Gender Norms and she has proven to society that she doesn't. And I respect women such as these.

I have had a lot of bad astrological karma which has been leaving me for sometime and my views have alternated a lot. I don't hold any kind of strict Gender rules anymore because I've learnt to be adaptive to the environment.

What I learnt by being with my current Gf is that there is no particular reason to force anyone to adhere to any kind of Norm if both partners are happy. The reason I think that I held such strong Gender role views was due to being attracted to attractive women purely for the basis of their looks. That was a very shallow way of interacting with them and I was surprised they weren't high iq or able to understand high iq conversations. So they fit perfectly into the Gender stereotype.

Lately after being with my current gf my perspective about women has changed and I believe that men should actually be looking for atleast their equal in terms of competence and ability. And there would be no way to gauge the level of competency in a woman if she hasn't achieved anything in life. Maybe with a standardized iq test ,but the best way to gauge it us her level of achievement.

I had a bad view of ambitious career women because I'd experienced them to be very combative and argumentative and not listening to my directions. But I discovered that this was also down to astrological compatibility. And there are Career women who are also submissive and pleasant to be around.

More importantly I need all the help I can to buy land ,dig a well and get some solar panels for a possible apocalyptic future. So if she's contributing money to my funds then that is very important to me right now.

Maybe afterwards she can stay home and take care of the kids but for now money is very important. Also if she refuses to stay home ill just move in my mother and she'll take care of the kids.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

....

What I see in you

What you describe is your soul's reaction to prior trauma. While your negative karma manifests in this way, for others it can manifest differently. People harp on this tranny stuff so much, as if they don't have their own karma and so on. The only reason people have strong opinions is just that it is a popular topic.

Your soul is trying to change itself as a means of coping with trauma. The solution is related to resolving your traumatic feelings. That is why when your boyfriend touched your penis, it brought up such strong feelings. However, the crying was not actually a bad thing, rather that is your soul processing the emotions you have connected to gender. Crying should be expected with many of these workings.

Because you were not helped in a moment of weakness, it sounds like you are trying to do whatever to receive help or support. This is why when your parents supported you, your emotions improved, and you didn't feel like you were "drowning" from life or whatever. Changing yourself as a girl was also your way to ensure people rushed to your aid.

But you are safe now, with a loving boyfriend, the Gods, friends on here, and so on. In other words, you can see how your feelings are not appropriate anymore. You would most certainly NOT fail at taking any of these steps towards happiness, just like you would not fail with other workings and so on. If anything, you had already taken steps at releasing some of the pain, by working with your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend should be a prime example of a masculine person who will always be there for you, as well as Satan.


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My Experience with my own Karma

I will share with you my personal experience with this sort of thing: I had some karma, without being specific, that pertains something to be prior abandonment and subsequently becoming closed off to relationships.

After doing Munka workings for this, it eventually manifested over a few nights as strong feelings of loneliness. I also felt rage or anger, which made me feel like I didn't care about anyone. Thoughts like "No one has actually been helping me or cares for me, so fuck them. I can handle this on my own." and so on. For a day or two, I felt that strongly, even in regards to my family and so on.

Later, when I would be in my room and meditating, I could feel the emotions pushing out of my chest. I climbed into my bed, pulled the blanket over my head, and felt overwhelmed by the feelings I described above. It basically came out of nowhere (although really from deep in my soul), and I cried super hard for about 5 minutes or so. This happened about three separate times.

After wiping my eyes, I got back up and felt totally better. Not so distant from others, willing to talk about myself, and so on. On my computer, I saw a phrase that popped up, which was something like "Extreme Circumstances Demand an Extreme Reaction". It was a death metal band album, lol, but the point was clear that my problems with relationships came out of some difficult experience in the past.


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Solutions

You can see here how the solution was not to dump everyone out of my life like I wanted to but to let go of the difficult feelings that made me react like that. If I decided to just block everyone and live on my own, it would've made my problem exponentially worse, basically recreating the same difficult circumstances from before.

Whether you choose to life your life as a boy or girl, you still have to release any past trauma. That was my point from before. Doing that requires working with your soul, not from any physical solutions, as the soul is where the trauma is currently at.

Following this, whether you want to be a boy or girl, you also need to work on your lower chakras, and associated planetary energies such as Saturn, Mars, and the Sun. These are the areas that would give you an inherent feeling of strength, safety, and so on.


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Increasing Masculine Energies

Maybe, if you are feeling nervous, it would be better to first increase your masculine energy. Then you may feel more confident while tackling the other parts of your trauma. You can do this through Squares, but you can also do this with the Sanskrit mantras. Vibrate the Laum, Vaum, and Raum, into the base, sacral, and solar, respectively, and then feel the energy permanently strengthening your chakras.

The above items are something you should be doing regardless of whether you are male or female, with bad karma or not. I know plenty of people with weakened Solar energies, who also feel weak, and the solution is basically the same.

With the Sun in Leo, you could also try vibrating, for example, x111 Surya into your Solar Chakra, programming it to enhance your self-esteem and confidence. The Sun is your area of identity, so special attention here would work well.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

After this is all over with, I'll make a new account, and I'll be behave. I'll be sensitive about people's feelings and all, and I'll refrain from posting stuff that triggers others to the point of wanting to kill me. Surely people will think, "Oh, what a nice, cool and mysterious person!"... just like once before. And I'll never bring it up again.

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Pride... I should really work on finding that in unrelated matters. It seems that basing it on who or what I am has caused some issues, so I'll try to base it on my actions, and I'll work on improving my actions in order to generate more pride. Maybe that'll fix me.
But what even is pride, anyway? How do people take pride in anything? Do you get it from others, or build it within?

No, you should not make a new account, because that would not fix anything. Please understand that your karma causes this sort of cyclical response, as it does for anyone else.

As SS, we cannot run from our problems. We are expected to grow. In many people, you can see the positive changes through their account history.

Because your karma is so relevant to your identity, it would be hard for you to not mention anything related to you. Wherever you go, people will eventually ask about you, and so on. Completely stifling yourself is not a healthy solution, nor one that is justified for you to take simply because others were mean to you.

It is unfortunate that people have gotten so upset, rather than be understanding of where you are coming from. At the end of this though, it is you are who are really suffering, and not them. For you to be constantly changing yourself is unjustified and inappropriate.

You did well through working with your boyfriend, and I am proud of the progress you made there. You should continue to take steps in that direction. I believe you are the type of person who can make tremendous changes upon themself, for better or worse. With that in mind, it is really important that you heed some of the advice you are given, especially from your GD or Satan.

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To put it simply, inherent pride comes from solar energies. Those with Leo on their Sun are basically born confident. This can be a problem when they become overconfident or domineering of others.

Pride can come from actions, but those with weaker fire may unintentionally discredit themselves. So I take the approach that self-esteem and pride are more inherent, and being driven to positive action is a successful outcome of this.

 

[FancyMancy]

I think it was you who mentioned that before. I haven't seen you on much. I remembered those in my thread because the latest one was recent; the earlier one was by a member who I thought I got on quite well with. As I said, I haven't seen you on very much.

Well of course it was 2 years back. I asked for your personal guidance and you replied.
There were also other members who replied but at that time I specifically asked for your guidance and you replied. That's also one of the many reasons why I am here typing this.
About forums, I won't be active right now because of reasons.

Well, I hope I helped beneficially. Good luck with whatever's happening.

 

[FancyMancy]

I mean... it seems really hot to me too, and I used to have dreams about that sometimes when I was younger. It's just a dilemma though, like, would I rather have that or just be a fake woman?

Oh, come on, Meteor. "Should I just be a fake Woman" bcoz muh feelz. Stop fart-arseing around. You said your Guardian said you shouldn't, but you still want to. The vibration level where you are has put you into this dilemma and confusion. Increase your vibration and then Spirituality and your Guardian will help you to be your actual true self. no more confusion, no more pathetic vegan jew shit. Just you and pride and strength.

Trust me, you are talking to a brick wall. People have been trying to give help and aid to this person for sometime now when they have made it very clear they do not want to be helped and are just looking to have people help them justify their delusions, even when it has been made clear that there is no one here who will be convinced that this is wholesome or good for advancement in any form. Don't waste your time.

Transgenderism is just another jewish mental illness

Some people just don't want to change or don't care. Maybe it was offensive to liken it to how christians behave, but I think it's valid.

 

[FancyMancy]

Your Guardian said that one shouldn't have "sex changes"? Maybe those opposing it were on the right lines afterall...

Well, that wasn't really the phrasing. I realised more clearly than before that I won't regret this, and also why I won't regret this. And then I suddenly felt a very intense feeling wash over me along the lines of "I must never tell this to anyone else", and "Other Satanists who are struggling with similar things might make a horrible mistake if they found out about this."

That's interesting. How vague and imprecise. I have not reached ability to hear directly from the Gods and Goddesses yet, but your Guardian told you to not tell anyone, (because...?), but you still told others anyway? You now helped others who might be struggling to make horrible mistakes? Woah. That's mighty grand of you...

That is the rule that I broke, which I'm feeling rather embarrassed about now. Perhaps it just didn't sit right with me to have to keep it all to myself. Although my Guardian didn't explicitly say that I shouldn't do this, nor explicitly that anyone else in particular shouldn't do this,

You're an individual. Do what you want - and face the consequences. Gods and Goddesses are not going to go out of Their way to make sure you don't chop your bits off because of muh feelz.

I suppose I wanted to atone for breaking that rule, and then, the least I could do is explicitly try to dissuade people from doing this (that is also part of why I try to be so annoying about it, so no one would want to be "like me").

Atonement is not on the offender's terms.

I don't know if that's enough to make up for my mistake of opening up about it, since I know it's a very personal topic and that each person is receiving their own personal guidance on it if they're a dedicated Satanist, and I shouldn't interfere with that in any way, but... I guess I just don't want to be responsible for someone else's mistake. That's why, even though my Guardian didn't "say" that, I told a half-truth and said She did. It was more like, "be conscious of the risks you took, and that it wouldn't normally go that well"; that was the actual implication here.

So you said your Guardian said something which She didn't say? Also - you used that as an argument, but are now back-pedalling? Well, your feelings overshadow your logic. There's no persuading you - we're here for the truth, betterment, improvement, advancement... - and there's no point. Unless...

After this is all over with, I'll make a new account, and I'll be behave. I'll be sensitive about people's feelings and all, and I'll refrain from posting stuff that triggers others to the point of wanting to kill me. Surely people will think, "Oh, what a nice, cool and mysterious person!"... just like once before. And I'll never bring it up again. Instead, I will repeat the following to myself:

I'm not transgender, I merely changed my sex (to the extent presently possible) for practical and emotional reasons. I don't believe in gender, and as such, it logically follows that my persistent feelings that my body's sex was wrong were incorrect, and therefore, I was not transgender. Even if hypothetically those feelings were correct, I no longer feel that way, and rather, I feel like the way my body is now is right and suits me, and therefore, I'm not transgender.

Why make a new account? That won't solve anything. (If I am not mistaken) none of us here knows you in the Physical World. This online presence is temporary - a long temporary, but temporary nonetheless. You have a lot on your Mind and in your Heart, I recognise that. That has come to be known as Meteor on here. It's like a chronology are user accounts - it is a public, but at the same time private (because we're strangers in the Physical World) chronology of how a person improves (hopefully), over time. Your tapestry has started to be weaved already; shall it be left unfinished and abandoned? We need closure, not cliff-hangers! AKA/in other words - don't change accounts!

That wouldn't even be a lie. Regardless of whether this was meant to be, or if I was made this way by my experiences and insecurities, or perhaps a mixture where I had some inclination and it was triggered by my circumstances (I do have a mild intersex condition after all, maybe that contributed or something, for example by making me insecure in my masculinity and femininity alike and causing issues with self-acceptance due to that), that's just how my mind would process it, given all the circumstances.

Again, if I am not mistaken - you're a Males, yes? Who cares if you're a bit masculine and a lot feminine? Obviously you do, but meh. (I mean "meh" in a good, nice way.) Another member shares something with me - one of my likes is less-masculine/more-feminine Males (I think those posts still exist, so you can check if you want). I don't expect you and I will ever meet, either ever in this life, or at least not for many years, while it's still too dangerous to do that, but it's nice to know that this is true diversity; the only disallowed type is the enemy and those who shill for the enemy - but at least those shills can join if they mean it genuinely; the jew never can. There are different personalities and attitudes and characters here - fine, and all who are Humans are welcome and can advance infinitely. The meditations and workings might ease some or increase some personalities, attitudes and characters - some Gods and Goddesses are soft-spoken, hard-spoken, more patient, more stern... Be you. Maybe you realise the real you now; maybe workings and meditations will bring-out the real you in time. What about your Soul? Chopping off your dangly bits and having your Soul... with... other bits...?

And like a mantra, I would repeat it to myself... until I forget. My anger regarding people's ignorance? If I'm full-on intending to make a lie come true, then there's no excuse for me to blame others for being denial of reality as well, believing only whatever information is useful to them, just like me.

A lie can't become true. Only one's perception changes to it, to accept it, to believe it, to emulate it. The jew wants the lie of "jesus" to be true, but it is not. Hitler is not an evil Man, but the jew lied repeatedly about Him; people's perception changed to those lies, to accept them, to believe them, to emulate them - if anyone spoke of being a Nazi in the past, then they might have been shunned or attacked, for example.

That is only human nature, so... maybe I'll punch a wall once a year, although that might injure my hand, so I'll punch a pillow instead. Or maybe all the repressed anger from two decades would just suddenly dissipate with the relief. But I've never found lasting relief from my anger before, so that's hard for me to imagine. Perhaps it's because I don't know how to express it well before it reaches the boiling point, and then I feel ashamed afterwards for overreacting. I'll try to work on that.

What do you like doing? What would you like to do? You could try channelling the anger, etc., into whatever projects and hobbies. Sometimes, either in a schedule or whenever it tickles your fancy, punch and kick shit into a punch bag. (Now, since I am Fancy - if you want to tickle me, then... we'll have to talk about that off-forum! )

Pride... I should really work on finding that in unrelated matters. It seems that basing it on who or what I am has caused some issues, so I'll try to base it on my actions, and I'll work on improving my actions in order to generate more pride. Maybe that'll fix me.
But what even is pride, anyway? How do people take pride in anything? Do you get it from others, or build it within?

As a christian, I had to rely on a fantasy/imaginary "friend". I didn't have to do much at all, just turn-up to church, give money, and fantasise about a jew. uke: Working on things which we cannot do immediately, helps to build pride, self-esteem, self-worth... Maybe think of it like friction - friction slows things down, and - speaking energetically - with friction, energy comes off in the form of heat. Metaphorically, this 'friction' (hard work, toil, in whatever - working a job, training for a marathon, training to be World's strongest Man, building-up a portfolio, getting one's own business, getting a partner and family... - anything that's not easy and not given to us) is resistance, this 'friction' is resistance, and we do things to overcome this resistance. The 'heat' which comes off from all of the blood, sweat and tears can be pride, self-worth, self-esteem... We can see that we worked hard and we achieved something, made accomplishments, got on with things and built ourselves up and can continue to build ourselves up. People might be lazy, but then they're sat on their fat arses or laid down, wanking all day, playing computer games and smoking dope - you are what you smoke. There's no pride in that; that is giving-up before attempting anything, quitting before starting - and what's worse, someone else produces that dope... They're working hard for your downfall - and you have the privilege of paying them for it! Not just money but other things, as well. Just a pointless existence. Work hard for yourself and things change for the better. Like attracts like - put in hard work, then we can feel good, perspective changes, see the World in a new light, etc. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Climb that mountain, and feel amazing (as well as fucking knackered) afterward. Don't be a christian relying on something which won't ever help you; you have to help yourself.

Take Lord Führer Hitler, for example. He didn't just become Führer. He was born, went to schools, college, university, had to start at the bottom of the political ladder, and work His way up to being Führer. Was He in jail? How much lower than that can you get? It is possible, but not by much, really. Despite being that low, He was, is, and forever shall be this Planet's Führer, Anti-christ, Saviour in one form or another (we save our selves, we save our own Souls, but He did Great Works). He had this in Him, from previous lives - Ramses the Great, for example - Pharaoh was a top Man. How long ago were the Pharaohs of Egypt? Hitler was in preparation for such a long time...until finally, He did what was needed as well as He could, to get the ball rolling, and now it might have melted over the last 80-- 70-- 60 years, but in the last 20 years the Joy of Satan Ministries has increased the snow on that ball, and it is rolling more and more, further and further, quicker and quicker. Hitler did hard work and is worthy; others who are lazy, etc., either have been so in previous lives, because this increases and compounds so that they are more inclined in this life to be lazy and shit, etc. and that karma (the freight train momentum; the more years and lives, the more freight is added to the train) is much more difficult to slow down, stop, and reverse (from shit, drugs, whatever) or change (they might miss their turning onto another track because they were going way too quickly) so their karma continues and the momentum carries them; or if it is their first incarnation, then they will be starting to build their karma - they might have been borne into a family which is 'privileged' and they don't know, consider or care about the value of hard work, dedication, etc. These are just simple examples; there are way too many factors to try and consider. Like attracts like. Put something in, get something out.

I'll go do some yoga now, I seem a bit tense. You're my favourite person on the forums by the way. Take that however you like.

Well, that's very sweet. I don't have favourites, to be honest, and I prefer to not try to, but thanks! Seeing as this thread is about homosexuality, and I think you are in a gay relationship - do you think your partner would mind if I... joined you... for... a... yoga session?! :shock: No? I'll go buy Twister, instead, then...! (I know, naughty Fancy. I like to be a bit... avant-garde might not be the correct term!)

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

" post_id=324862 time=1644862947 user_id=21286]

...

My opinion on the action philosphy

Ok, I believe I understand where you are coming from. I also went back and read through some of the older threads where you fought over gender relations.

I believe the total spiritual status and configuration of the person heavily influences their views and perceptions you describe. In a way, this can be very limiting, and certain people are better at objective reasoning than others, or in certain circumstances than others.

I can agree that your focus on action is empowering. I can also see how it would be limiting if you are unable to recognize both thoughts or actions which may initially seem useless, but have inherent potential. Anyone with underdeveloped lower chakras will have a harder time implementing any of the gifts from their higher chakras, for example.

In other words, someone could indirectly contribute something to what you value, and its full value may not be initially apparent. If you prematurely judge their actions at this stage, you could come to a limited conclusion about the full value of the individual. For someone else, this can be the opposite, and they could overvalue the positives in everyone, leading to naive conclusions.


-------------------
Limitations of action philosophy

I would be careful about developing strict views about homosexuals, women, and other groups based on past and current worldly events because our world has been under enemy occupation for so long. Therefore, any conclusions made now cannot really reflect the true nature of women, for example, as well as men.

Lydia had, in a moment of anger, accused you of not upholding Satanic ideals. She did this because she believed you were (unintentionally) incorporating prior Christian influence of women into your mindset. However, I can see how you were simply reacting to the world around you, but care must be taken to fully detach from anything pertaining to the enemy.

Women will always be better at upper chakra functions, with men being better at lower chakra functions. However, what you currently see in the world is not a true expression of either men or women. Even for humans in general, we are actually supposed to have our Kundalini risen by default.

In this way, your mindset may be limited if you cannot recognize the potential of certain people, especially those who meditate. As we advance, we are supposed to balance these qualities. That is how you get Gods like Astarte who are recognized as a warrior Goddess and Aries, even though this is traditionally a male trait. Yet, following your views, Astarte still embodies feminity as her overall identity.


--------------------
How karma strongly influences outcomes (such as forum drama)

Other examples include personal changes that happen through spiritual development. If you have a Libra Sun, then do an Aries Sun Square, your perceptions will totally change, as well as your abilities. Therefore, I would only fault the person if they refused to meditate, not for having a poor Sun placement.

This is what NakedPluto was saying to you, a while ago. He was basically expressing that such long-winded philosophical arguments are pointless when the solutions come from spiritual development, not the argument itself.

Do you find it funny that you argued with Tabby, who admitted she has discipline/low earth problems? Jrvan can also be combative and freedom-loving. So it is no surprise they took issue with you, nor is it a surprise that the conversations took the exact direction they did.

If the outcome was, let's say 80% already determined, and both people would never truly understand the other, then the hours spent arguing back and forth were wasted. More importantly, the fabric of our community was strained through emotional stress.

Personally, I believe the blunt "answer" to all the forum drama is basically just to separate the people and have them continue to mediate. This is especially true for noob drama. Of course, to actually implement this, one has to work with the emotions of those involved, which takes time.


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Capricorn mindset

I hope you don't get offended when I say that I believe your viewpoints derive from a Capricorn mindset. That is not to say you are a robot with predetermined outcomes. Anyone with a strong influence from certain astrological placements or karma will operate based on that.

That would then influence your views on homosexuality, women, and other items which may cause you to clash. Funny enough, your ability to stand unwavering (combined with your communicative ability), further angered others to the point where people are saying it is a problem and so on.

Like I mentioned before, I believe Capricorn can be summarized by the ability to work with limitations, both from the self and the world around you. That is why you hold such views about women which others have viewed as overly strict and limiting, especially if you are deriving your opinions based on the past (which was ruled by the enemy).

On the flip side, you are also correct that we should recognize how women or others may currently act if we are to successfully interact with them. However, individual differences exist, so one should look closely at the astrological chart. You should also understand how limited humanity has been by the enemy: the future will be unimaginably different from today.

"Earth people like tradition, and security is extremely important to them, they are cautious, deliberate, slow in forming opinions, and can be slow in everything they do. They are reserved, but they have exceptional endurance. They are practical, grounded, and level-headed. They are hard working, they dislike change and can be stuck in a routine for years without ever getting bored. They have a hard time adjusting to new situations and changes. "
JOS Source


---------------------
Conclusion

As I said, I am not trying to bug you or anything. The reason I am saying all of this is to add my input on the situation as to why people take offense to you. You are not the only one with certain faults either; some people's faults may make them hide under the surface, never to be known on JOS, for example.

The important point is to just stay focused on SS activities, not to get bogged down fighting battles that cannot be won, so to speak. When your views are directly challenged, this may require a bit of charisma and finesse to defuse the situation without actually yielding your points. Agree to disagree can sum it up well.

I did read your whole post, by the way, so don't think I didn't. I'm just jumping ahead to broader conclusions. I don't want you to feel like something is wrong with you, either. I'm just trying to permanently quell the drama.

Jupiter/Uranus:
Personal freedom is of exceptional importance to these people; they are natural rebels and cannot tolerate being controlled by others. Often eccentric and high-strung, they are prone to emotional outbursts that can occur all of a sudden and with out any warning. These people look to new and unusual solutions in solving problems. Aspects between Jupiter and Uranus make for impracticality, an impulsive nature and in some case, a disruptive personality. There can be aptitude for technology, the sciences and with mathematics. These people do not like to conform and are often very strong willed. Affairs ruled by the house with Aquarius on the cusp often benefit from this contact.

Uranus aspects seem to tend to give love for freedom plus I am sure quite a lot of people have this on this forum.

Look the things I said in the topic shadowcat made recently..
Like come on man. Jack, you jump on saying things then projecting your personal issues outward... in such a way saying that "everyone must be this or that". Not only are you trying to hijack a topic, you're trampling onto others.

...

 

[Jack]

" post_id=324862 time=1644862947 user_id=21286]

...

My opinion on the action philosphy

Ok, I believe I understand where you are coming from. I also went back and read through some of the older threads where you fought over gender relations.

I believe the total spiritual status and configuration of the person heavily influences their views and perceptions you describe. In a way, this can be very limiting, and certain people are better at objective reasoning than others, or in certain circumstances than others.

I can agree that your focus on action is empowering. I can also see how it would be limiting if you are unable to recognize both thoughts or actions which may initially seem useless, but have inherent potential. Anyone with underdeveloped lower chakras will have a harder time implementing any of the gifts from their higher chakras, for example.

In other words, someone could indirectly contribute something to what you value, and its full value may not be initially apparent. If you prematurely judge their actions at this stage, you could come to a limited conclusion about the full value of the individual. For someone else, this can be the opposite, and they could overvalue the positives in everyone, leading to naive conclusions.


-------------------
Limitations of action philosophy

I would be careful about developing strict views about homosexuals, women, and other groups based on past and current worldly events because our world has been under enemy occupation for so long. Therefore, any conclusions made now cannot really reflect the true nature of women, for example, as well as men.

Lydia had, in a moment of anger, accused you of not upholding Satanic ideals. She did this because she believed you were (unintentionally) incorporating prior Christian influence of women into your mindset. However, I can see how you were simply reacting to the world around you, but care must be taken to fully detach from anything pertaining to the enemy.

Women will always be better at upper chakra functions, with men being better at lower chakra functions. However, what you currently see in the world is not a true expression of either men or women. Even for humans in general, we are actually supposed to have our Kundalini risen by default.

In this way, your mindset may be limited if you cannot recognize the potential of certain people, especially those who meditate. As we advance, we are supposed to balance these qualities. That is how you get Gods like Astarte who are recognized as a warrior Goddess and Aries, even though this is traditionally a male trait. Yet, following your views, Astarte still embodies feminity as her overall identity.


--------------------
How karma strongly influences outcomes (such as forum drama)

Other examples include personal changes that happen through spiritual development. If you have a Libra Sun, then do an Aries Sun Square, your perceptions will totally change, as well as your abilities. Therefore, I would only fault the person if they refused to meditate, not for having a poor Sun placement.

This is what NakedPluto was saying to you, a while ago. He was basically expressing that such long-winded philosophical arguments are pointless when the solutions come from spiritual development, not the argument itself.

Do you find it funny that you argued with Tabby, who admitted she has discipline/low earth problems? Jrvan can also be combative and freedom-loving. So it is no surprise they took issue with you, nor is it a surprise that the conversations took the exact direction they did.

If the outcome was, let's say 80% already determined, and both people would never truly understand the other, then the hours spent arguing back and forth were wasted. More importantly, the fabric of our community was strained through emotional stress.

Personally, I believe the blunt "answer" to all the forum drama is basically just to separate the people and have them continue to mediate. This is especially true for noob drama. Of course, to actually implement this, one has to work with the emotions of those involved, which takes time.


---------------------
Capricorn mindset

I hope you don't get offended when I say that I believe your viewpoints derive from a Capricorn mindset. That is not to say you are a robot with predetermined outcomes. Anyone with a strong influence from certain astrological placements or karma will operate based on that.

That would then influence your views on homosexuality, women, and other items which may cause you to clash. Funny enough, your ability to stand unwavering (combined with your communicative ability), further angered others to the point where people are saying it is a problem and so on.

Like I mentioned before, I believe Capricorn can be summarized by the ability to work with limitations, both from the self and the world around you. That is why you hold such views about women which others have viewed as overly strict and limiting, especially if you are deriving your opinions based on the past (which was ruled by the enemy).

On the flip side, you are also correct that we should recognize how women or others may currently act if we are to successfully interact with them. However, individual differences exist, so one should look closely at the astrological chart. You should also understand how limited humanity has been by the enemy: the future will be unimaginably different from today.

"Earth people like tradition, and security is extremely important to them, they are cautious, deliberate, slow in forming opinions, and can be slow in everything they do. They are reserved, but they have exceptional endurance. They are practical, grounded, and level-headed. They are hard working, they dislike change and can be stuck in a routine for years without ever getting bored. They have a hard time adjusting to new situations and changes. "
JOS Source


---------------------
Conclusion

As I said, I am not trying to bug you or anything. The reason I am saying all of this is to add my input on the situation as to why people take offense to you. You are not the only one with certain faults either; some people's faults may make them hide under the surface, never to be known on JOS, for example.

The important point is to just stay focused on SS activities, not to get bogged down fighting battles that cannot be won, so to speak. When your views are directly challenged, this may require a bit of charisma and finesse to defuse the situation without actually yielding your points. Agree to disagree can sum it up well.

I did read your whole post, by the way, so don't think I didn't. I'm just jumping ahead to broader conclusions. I don't want you to feel like something is wrong with you, either. I'm just trying to permanently quell the drama.

Jupiter/Uranus:
Personal freedom is of exceptional importance to these people; they are natural rebels and cannot tolerate being controlled by others. Often eccentric and high-strung, they are prone to emotional outbursts that can occur all of a sudden and with out any warning. These people look to new and unusual solutions in solving problems. Aspects between Jupiter and Uranus make for impracticality, an impulsive nature and in some case, a disruptive personality. There can be aptitude for technology, the sciences and with mathematics. These people do not like to conform and are often very strong willed. Affairs ruled by the house with Aquarius on the cusp often benefit from this contact.

Uranus aspects seem to tend to give love for freedom plus I am sure quite a lot of people have this on this forum.

Look the things I said in the topic shadowcat made recently..
Like come on man. Jack, you jump on saying things then projecting your personal issues outward... in such a way saying that "everyone must be this or that". Not only are you trying to hijack a topic, you're trampling onto others.

...

I literally said on this topic that no one should be judged according to sexuality and that no one should be this or that and we should judge them for their actions. Please pay attention.

 

[Jrvan]

Superfluous or superficial? All those confident words, for what? At the end of the day, I'm still so deeply affected by this.

I like to face my problems head on. But every time I try to face this at all, I become more aware of the part of my body that I hate, and nowadays even just that is enough for me to get completely overwhelmed by horrifyingly intense feelings of agony; and then I give in to the usual escapism because it's just too much. I can't even describe it with words. Contrary to asking my fiancé for help, all I could mutter to him when he was worried about me, is that a particular part of my body just feels so horribly wrong, that it isn't supposed to be like this, and I started crying again; so he calmed me down by holding me tightly, and reminding me that it'll change soon... which helped, but not in the sense of making any progress.

Even just remembering how I felt yesterday makes me unable to breathe normally out of terror. If I had to face this 40 days in a row, I would not only lose my mind, but I would be further traumatised by the experience to such an extent that any chance I might still have at getting over this would most likely be completely destroyed afterwards.

The most I can do is a general working to try to help the situation indirectly, but I doubt that alone will be enough to lead to any significant changes. At this rate, any direct attempts at coming to terms with my body are bound to fail and backfire until after I've already changed it. So much for expanding my options, if this is the extent of my resolve...

I feel like giving in after all. Even if there are many people out there who would never accept my decision if they knew, and even it if will complicate other matters in the process of simplifying the ones that seem important to me right now, at least I'll know that I did what I could, physically. Will that give me the resolve I need to face myself? I hope it does.

My failure to find another way is only the result of my own shortcomings; or perhaps the odds were against me to begin with, to an extent greater than anyone could handle. Don't hold it against yourself, Blitzkreig. You did what you could, and I did learn from many of the things you wrote, even if I turned out to be less capable than I thought. I guess jrvan was right: I'm weak. A few unusual abilities or successful workings doesn't change that, if I'm still this sensitive and avoidant deep down.

I think we've both been weak, Meteor. You wanted to run from yourself and your existence so that you could fit in more comfortably with other people instead of being rejected, and I wanted to run from my existence so that I didn't have to deal with other people due to my mistrust, hatred and contempt for the majority of current human beings the way they are right now (as well as run from my own problems and trauma and having to deal with the damage to my soul). I wanted to isolate myself in my own private universe of my own design while shunning everyone else, and I think that was mostly because I was angry at being mistreated, abandoned, ignored and shunned all my life. So I guess for me it was partially born out of bitterness and wanting revenge, and partially out of wanting to disappear.

Your approach was just different from mine. I refused to conform, and I hated people for rejecting me. You chose to try to conform so you would be less likely to be rejected. The common denominator is that we both wanted to run away.

I'm used to being on my own because I always had to so it made no difference to me if my own personal universe bubble was isolated from the rest of humanity or not. What brought me out of it was realizing just how dependent I am upon the Gods for protection. At first, the idea of being devoured by the enemy scared me, and then I accepted it because ditching my own personal philosophy because I wanted to run back to the Gods for protection wasn't a good enough reason for me. If I made my own personal artistic meaning while rejecting everything else, and then aliens devoured me because I was too weak to protect my art then it was perfectly following my philosophy. I didn't have a worthy reason of "returning to existence" so to say.

What ultimately made me abandon my own philosophy, and was a good enough reason for me was this: seeking and accepting the Truth. If it's the Truth then it's a good enough reason to "return to existence" and to return to the Gods.

 

[Jrvan]

It's like Father Satan said: the meaning of life is to make the world better. You have to exist in the world either way so the question is do you want to live in a pile of shit around you, or do you want to improve it?

Eventually there will come a time when we are accepted for who and how we are in society instead of being forced to fit into a jewish box.

 

[FancyMancy]

your Guardian told you to not tell anyone, (because...?)

It's obvious if you consider all the consequences opening up about it had. For example, at this rate I most likely won't make a new account, but rather, I'll grow distant from this community; because if things go the way I expect (and I expect them to), then many of people's reactions will seem very overblown to me in hindsight, especially when the things they emphasised with words like "truth" would be in direct contradiction with the reality I perceive with my own senses by then. And aside from how it would affect me, several SS already feel like they wasted their time replying to me, and talking about this topic has generally been disruptive and unpleasant for everyone involved. Some of the SS who read my posts were so bothered by it on an emotional level, that it made them unable to focus on other things, or made them want to curse me (in other words, it caused in-fighting, which is a further waste of time and energy). That is the extent of the damage I caused by opening up about it, and all of this could've been prevented if I had simply followed my Guardian's advice; therefore, I think the advice itself makes a lot of sense, and in hindsight, I regret not following it.

It's a kick in the teeth, but you can - if you choose to - learn from it. There's no need to run away and hide. You said I'm your favourite, and you're leaving me?! Don't make me cry, Meteor! You better stay... or... erm... else... You don't want me to cry, do you?!

In another thread, Jack was arguing that people with intersex conditions should be killed, and there were other SS who did not disagree with this, but rather, agreed that "eugenics" are good, which is the word Jack used to describe killing people with intersex conditions.

Lol - you're gunna listen to Jack the Lad? Lol. Sorry, Meteor, but come on! I think it's the same thread I mentioned about not being able to be borne; thus, not having any chances to advance, improve, heal, etc. Ignore Jack.

So I thought: "Oh. My family wants to kill me. That's not good." I got upset and tried to set boundaries, like "Hey, don't kill people just for being intersex. I want to live!" Some also mentioned they want sex change surgeries to be banned. So I thought: "Oh. My family wants to prevent me from doing something that feels important to me. That's not good."

Like, come on. A troll and someone else agreeing about something is not the entire family's stance on things. There are always black sheep in families... (If they are a part of the family; otherwise, they might just be those 'aunts' and 'uncles' who actually are just 'friends' of the family, not actually part of the family.)

Already being upset about the discrimination/threats against intersex people, I decided in that moment: "There is no point in considering them my family if they would want to sabotage and kill me if they knew the truth about me, so I'm going to be honest with them in order to find out if I even belong here in the first place." So, given that it slipped my mind that I was urged not to bring it up, I brought it up anyway, and learned that some SS really do want to sabotage and/or kill me, thus: "I shouldn't trust other SS as though they are my family, just as someone who was threatened by biological family members should similarly keep their distance." Perhaps my Guardian wanted to prevent such a situation, but on the other hand, I always found it unpleasant to be secretive, so maybe I had to learn the hard way just how important it is, in this manner.

Some people must learn the hard way; there is no other way for them to learn - but now you want to run away and hide, because you are refusing to learn the (only?) way in which you can learn? Nope. If we were in a Physical location-- well, if we were in a Physical location, like a temple, certain... people wouldn't be as brave as to troll there, like they do online... but if we were in a temple and you told me you wanted to leave, I'd not let you. (Of course, I wouldn't refuse to let you go, but I'd resist your leaving.) Regrettably, that can't be done online. A small number of dolts make you want to go away? Then you need to rise above that shit, and be proud.

Prior to the drama on the forums, I was seriously considering opening up to my real life friends about this, but I decided against it after experiencing just how controversial of a topic it really is. Whereas I can say that I lost nothing of value in losing my trust in other SS, since that trust was misconceived to begin with in the false belief that being a dedicated Satanist would be reason enough for other SS not to want to sabotage or kill me, my real life friends are also my fiancé's real life friends, and finding out whether they would be okay with this isn't worth being the reason why my fiancé loses his friends.

Perhaps meditations you have done will be helping you to realise if these friends are proper friends or not. Once your vibration increases, and your friends' continue to not, then that might separate you anyway. Not that it should be bad or shit because you're arrogant and above them and they're beneath your consideration, but simply because of your... evolution, you might say, as improving to better dimensions, while they unfortunately aren't. While what I just said is not quite your point, as for directly regarding 'coming out' to your friends... that's a tricky one. I don't think you're asking for advice in that, but I wouldn't want to say anything anyway.

Most likely, I'm just making excuses because I'm feeling a bit embarrassed.

Ah! I shall make you a DUNCE hat and stick you in the corner! Not really. Just forget about it. It's OK because it's the Internet. For all anyone thinks they know, you might have just been playing or considering things or thinking out aloud - rather, typing thoughts online.

Something I learned over time is that often in life, there is no closure. Things like breakups happen for all sorts of dumb reasons, all sorts of crimes go unpunished, people often don't get the things they feel they deserve. Everyone is driven by their feelings, no matter what logic they use to rationalise it; and often, while feelings are there for a reason and might have some purpose, they're chaotic. That's why closure often only exists in accepting that things simply are the way they are. Even if people decide to change something, it didn't change because it was "meant" to change, but rather, because people's feelings or logic told them to change it, and those feelings and the logic that follows simply are the way they are. No matter how people rationalise things, or try to romanticise the reality they live in, the reality doesn't care; it doesn't care what anyone thinks or believes in, and merely enacts cause and effect, ad nauseam. The best anyone can do to find closure, is to come to terms with that.

By changing accounts or not changing accounts but distancing yourself from here? Then where will you go, what will you do? Elsewhere, other things? Start again? Lose all the progress and things you've made here? (I have no authourity over you, but)I demand that you stay! (Please? big puppy-dog eyes)

Would you find closure if...

No idea. You share what you want; there is zero need nor requirement to share anything. If you don't want to share the details of the outcome, then that's entirely your decision and prerogative. Whether I/we get closure or not makes zero difference to your own life and decisions and abilities and advancement, etc. I/we might be nosey and some of us opinionated - or in a positive way, I am considering the tapestry of the JoS and its members and their evolution from this to that - but we can see this progression and movement and change and we can use that to encourage ourselves for betterment. Like we can bounce off each other; being greater than the sum of our parts. Partly the reason for closure - being nosey or being genuine - is because it has been brought-up on the forum, and it is a known phenomenon and an extremely important one at that; it is, in my opinion, that a follow-through of some details - if OK with you/another person considering this to share details - so others can learn more, would be welcome. The JoSM is like an encyclopaedia in the making, a continually-written encyclopaedia, with all sorts of opinions, learning, advice, teaching, recipes (not food necessarily), methods, etc., etc., etc.

Even if I stuck around and revealed one of these outcomes, or perhaps another outcome which I didn't mention, it's not like anyone here would be happy or sad for me, right?

Maybe in a way, but does that matter? Why/why not? For me personally, I can't connect with people online. We might be a virtual family online but also blood-related through Satan (I'm White), but the Internet is too impersonal for me. Does any of this matter to you? Is it important if others were happy or sad for you after the results?

So, what kind of closure are you really looking for? Is it even something I can give you?
What if the outcome I revealed to you ends up being one you don't really like? Wouldn't that give you the opposite of closure, then?

I'm trying to lighten the mood a bit. No, not to make fun, so please don't think that. I don't want to say "chill out" or "calm down" because they tend to make things worse, but (Yes "but"; how else, other than its sibling "however", could the sentence continue with a connecting word?!) it doesn't matter if I/we have closure or not. I was/am tying to ease tension a bit. It didn't come across well, because online is shit and emotionless.

If I simply disappear, then other people can come up with their own gossip about me. The "truth" of what happened to me, can then be anything people want it to be. Don't you think that would give people far more closure than the actual truth?

Quite probably, but - and I can't speak for others - until you came and told us results; even if "your husband" came here (someone else pretending to be him) and claimed things, I still wouldn't be 100% about it... but still - your personal life is your own, you reveal and don't reveal what you want. I am just considering the 'tapestry' and 'encyclopaedia' of JosM and the 'evolution' of members, while trying to not make the tension worse.

Many years ago, when I'd just started wearing skirts in public and my breasts were still quite small and I looked a bit more masculine, gay guys would sometimes hit on me, complimenting me and saying I looked really hot. Then, when I introduced myself, they would be like, "Ugh, just another tranny. I'm disappointed now." Then I would chuckle at how awkward that was, and somehow befriend them anyway. I had a whole group of friends I met that way; I'd bake muffins for them and they'd share their exotic blends of mead with me, and we'd hang out in a park and used the leftovers to play with the pigeons. We ended up drifting apart after a couple years though.

Stereotyping, I'd say they just were after one thing, at least initially. People can be so stubborn, and change can be virtually impossible for them. From what I can tell about a lot of 'the gay scene', it's all fake and artificial, so FABYOOLOOUUUSSSSSSS!! and retarded. If that is somewhat the case with these who you just mentioned, then no wonder they didn't stay your friends. It's all pretence and glitter.

I've been hanging out mainly with heterosexual people ever since I started dating my fiancé; there's just something soothing to me about the "normality" of it all, and being a part of that. I haven't had a gay friend in years, but it seems to this day I still enjoy talking to them when I get the chance. I think they're often rather unusual people, but in an interesting, good way.

Well, I'm bi but lean more gay, so even though I expect you were not referring to me at all, I'll take that as a compliment!

If they're that charming, then I've got to wonder where all the hate came from. It pervades my past life memories.

I presume it was lies upon lies told, with (now) "education" and media and - in the in-group of fabyolousss-ness and similar things - peer-pressure. Small bits and pieces of a person's opinion and reactions and behaviours feed into others, especially if they are receptive; these small things build-up over time - take care of the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves. Before they know it, they're prejudiced and hateful, possibly without realising why. e.g. (I just made this up)

A: I don't like rap or other Black music.
B: That's racist.
A: Why?
B: Because you said you don't like Black music.
A: So? I don't like some White music.
B: Yeah, but you're White so that's not racist.
A: How many times do Black people listen to White music? They're racist.

In other words, people don't think; they respond just like a knee-jerk reaction. I think they've associated ANYTHING that is mentioned "Black" with "racism"; for the hatred against you, the association must be similar - but don't forget, in history it was very christianised, so any of that ignorance and retardedness was so much more greater. It may be incorrect or wrong or dirty or 'sinful' (not in a christian sense) or whatever to have a "sex change operation". Why not go further and get a pig's tail or elephant's trunk installed? Yeah, it's over-the-top nonsense, but still - why not? Maybe that's why people hated the intersex things; these days, education has to be done to make people accept intersex things. Why do people/sheeple need to be force-brainwashed into accepting things? Well, 1) they don't need to be; because 2) it is the jew who needs them to be; and 3) they don't need to be because they understand, either consciously and/or unconsciously, things already.

I realised the last bit of my previous reply to you might be a bit confusing, since I mentioned before that I dislike alcohol; also, I was 17 years old at the time, so I wasn't supposed to drink according to the law. Basically, when I explained to them that I don't like alcohol, they told me: "This stuff tastes really good, it's nothing like beer or wine. You don't have to if you really don't want to, but feel free to take a sip from my drink if you feel like it, just to try it." They each brought their own bottle and glass and I took a small sip from each of them. It was some of the sweetest stuff I ever tasted.

Also, considering they were into my looks, why I didn't just stop transitioning right there and then so that I could be their type? Basically, none of them were my type. One was extremely skinny but kind, another was a plain-looking druggie who made somewhat creepy jokes, and the third one whom I met through the others was very short but had a nice beard. I prefer guys who are tall and burly, as well as mentally stable (in other words, not a druggie).

That increases my thoughts that they were just after one thing (at least initially).

I've never actually met a particularly burly gay guy, do you happen to know if they're out there?

Stereotypically - in porn and media (all about power/control and reducing power/control thereof), yeah, but in actual Physicality? It's more difficult to tell. On an online forum/chat room there was someone who seemed dominant and probably way too much for a lot of people, overpowering, etc., who appeared to be well-endowed. I think these types might be more private, either straight with girlfriends/wives and only play separately (secretly?) from that; or stick to others of their type, e.g. rugby players, iron-pumpers, etc; while those I have seen offline and others online can be either the opposite or not quite the same. I think it depends on culture and environment, as well. Of course, I am not going to say what type I am.

Superfluous or superficial? All those confident words, for what? At the end of the day, I'm still so deeply affected by this.

Things don't change overnight. They won't, either. I am sure you know this.

I like to face my problems head on. But every time I try to face this at all, I become more aware of the part of my body that I hate, and nowadays even just that is enough for me to get completely overwhelmed by horrifyingly intense feelings of agony; and then I give in to the usual escapism because it's just too much.

I'd understand it if you were born with a pig's tail and/or elephant's trunk, but being born with Natural Human Body parts... and hating them? Why?! (I apologise profusely for what I am about to say, but) were you not born this way?! You were born with these parts, how and why did you begin to hate them, then feel so worse-than-uncomfortable about them?

I can't even describe it with words. Contrary to asking my fiancé for help, all I could mutter to him when he was worried about me, is that a particular part of my body just feels so horribly wrong, that it isn't supposed to be like this, and I started crying again; so he calmed me down by holding me tightly, and reminding me that it'll change soon... which helped, but not in the sense of making any progress.

Maybe I misunderstand... but I'm sorry but I disagree. You were born with these Natural things; changing them is not a good thing to do. These things are not wrong; they are a part of you, they are yours and a part of who you are, what makes you you. Scientifically, we're all Girls until some of the tiny little pieces in the womb decide to make some of us Boys ("in the absence of a penis, one is Female"). You shouldn't change these things; you should accept you, who you are.

I'm not a counsellor or therapist, but while being ignorant of what's what, I am thinking maybe you were 'sissified' and forced to believe you were supposed to be a Girl... by someone older than you, when you were younger, and this was fed repeatedly and forcefully for such a long time. Presuming that I am wildly incorrect, why are these beliefs within you? No offence, but your partner reiterating and reinforcing these things makes them stronger, as well. Who is FancyMancy and anyone from JoSM to say "you're not supposed to chop your bits off and replace them with other bits"? We're no-one to you, certainly not close, emotional nor intimate with you, nor (somewhat) important to you. Who cares what strange strangers online say?

Even just remembering how I felt yesterday makes me unable to breathe normally out of terror. If I had to face this 40 days in a row, I would not only lose my mind, but I would be further traumatised by the experience to such an extent that any chance I might still have at getting over this would most likely be completely destroyed afterwards.

I know/have known of some individuals, Male and Female, who have been abused sexually when younger/growing up. If they were to do the 40-day Muñka working, and possibly repeat those 40 days, I can't imagine how extremely difficult, to say the least, it would be for them. I would suggest doing a 1-day Muñka working, either with low repetitions (e.g. just 9) or perhaps one with a higher number of repetitions, but just for 1 day. See how that goes. If that was bad, but not too bad, then leaving it for 7 days, to prepare oneself to do it again. If it was too bad, then leave it a bit longer, or push yourself slightly, just a bit. After that time, do it the same, no more, no less. Leave it another 7 days... and so on, like that. Do this for weeks or months, until it is less-difficult, then try changing either to a higher number of reps and 7 days, or same number of reps for 6 days, or higher number of reps for 6 days, then repeat that for weeks or months until that is OK... then increase slowly likewise.

Yeah, it will be so difficult (not that you need to be told), but - as I say - start lowly and slowly, and also have a read, or re-read, of the coins analogy - scroll down to about half-way, my Fri 12 Feb, 2021 post and the paragraphs after. Say these bad things, anxiety, fears, etc., are copper coins; you need to replace them with silver and gold, etc., coins instead. It's OK if you know this already, but it's also OK to be reminded and encouraged positively.

The most I can do is a general working to try to help the situation indirectly, but I doubt that alone will be enough to lead to any significant changes.

Might I suggest a pre-Muñka working, then? I wouldn't want to make an example working, because each person who has gone through such bad difficulties I think would need it tailored for their own, so a general working might not be good enough. Maybe an affirmation such as NOT saying "my fears", etc. - "[In a safe, secure, positive, beneficial... way for me] any and all [of the] [fears, anxieties...] regarding ___ are [minimal, quashed, nullified, cancelled...]. These [fears/anxieties...] are [ineffective, incapable of bothering me...]. I am confident and comfortable and in control, so as to do my Muñka workings fully and properly until actual completion."

At this rate, any direct attempts at coming to terms with my body are bound to fail and backfire until after I've already changed it. So much for expanding my options, if this is the extent of my resolve...

You keep affirming and reaffirming, iterating and reiterating, (erm, peating? and) repeating (get my point?!) that, so that it becomes true. Change the shitty bronze coins, dear! Seriously, change them for better things. Only you can - and yes, must - do that - but only you can; and you can.

I feel like giving in after all. Even if there are many people out there who would never accept my decision if they knew, and even it if will complicate other matters in the process of simplifying the ones that seem important to me right now, at least I'll know that I did what I could, physically. Will that give me the resolve I need to face myself? I hope it does.

Yeah, there's always hope. Heh.

My failure to find another way is only the result of my own shortcomings; or perhaps the odds were against me to begin with, to an extent greater than anyone could handle. Don't hold it against yourself, Blitzkreig. You did what you could, and I did learn from many of the things you wrote, even if I turned out to be less capable than I thought. I guess jrvan was right: I'm weak. A few unusual abilities or successful workings doesn't change that, if I'm still this sensitive and avoidant deep down.

You listen to negative things, instead of positive things? Those copper coins, man... They're hardly worth anything. You're better-off with other, better things, instead.

 

[Henu the Great]

When one wishes balanced state of being, hormonal treatments, manipulating genitalia via external measures and such are hardly any kind of realisic relief. Spiritual Satanist should aim to heal these sort of issues from inside out. I just wanted to say this so that some younger readers do not get wrong idea. We as SS have been granted much more privilege than those without when we talk about spiritual healing for example. This opportunity should not be neglected resorting to actions resulting in irreversible outcomes.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

When you face the problem head-on as you did, you are basically dealing with the full karmic impact. On the contrary, if you simply directed Munka energy to resolve it in a gentle manner, you would have much more success. Think of how someone with an addiction can fight all day and long, but relapse and hate themselves afterward. This is similar to what is happening here, where you are using the hard way to solve it and getting mad when it proves difficult.

If you have not tried it yet, then do so. If it hurts you, then simply stop, and turn back to the drawing board.

Do not forget your GD's advice, where they mentioned working on your masculine side first. If you developed that a bit more, it would give you both healing (irrespective of your gender), as well as the confidence and discipline to deal with these more difficult situations. In other words, it would progress with much less trauma.

You cannot expect yourself to have a quality that was not in your soul to begin with. Beating yourself up for being "weak" is counterproductive in a world where we can improve every aspect of ourselves. In this case, it means you should use Nauthiz, perhaps for increasing mental endurance.

You can also do a Mars Square, or soon a Sun Square, for increasing your confidence and other items ruled by these planets.

---------------

You can also work on healing the lower chakras, which again, exist regardless of the changes to the physical body. This would also help you later deal with any trauma. You could also target removing any trauma you have experienced, not specific to any body part. This would be another manner of clearing out a lot of the pain, yet still not feeling forced to choose a path.

All these things I have mentioned, are items you would deal with even if you got gender surgery tomorrow. They may be related, yet still exist independently of the current status of your physical body.

There is no sense in beating yourself up when a certain method didn't work. In fact, it is good that you tried to approach the topic. Nonetheless, you faced an obstacle, so you have to think about how to get around it. This follows the concept of "work smart, not harder".

I think this is also exemplified by Ansuz, which can overcome obstacles of all kinds. Being air and related to freedom, it can also be used by you for freeing yourself from trauma, in a manner that is truly positive and "smart", not like running into a brick wall.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Just a few weeks ago, I thought to myself: "Maybe giving in to my fears and my karma is a good thing. They show me a clear direction, a narrow path to escape a frightening reality. It doesn't matter if I'm not free, as long I can simply accept this fate and enjoy the ride."
In a way, it's frightening to know I'm capable of more, because then it feels like I have to justify my decisions. But that fear is only an illusion: the choice is still mine, so I should use it to my advantage. Some amount of fear can be good and healthy, as it can prevent one from making mistakes; but too much of it can get in the way, or even cause mistakes in its own right.

I think committing to things one finds important is a good thing, even if that means sacrificing other things; but rather than burning bridges, it's better to focus primarily on growing and expanding my options. That doesn't mean I shouldn't commit to anything, but it does mean I should let go of my habit of trying to convince myself that everything I didn't commit to was a terrible idea. If I really want to ensure that I choose the course of action that leads to the best outcome, then rather than trying to control my own thoughts and feelings through fear, I should face everything realistically and do my best to understand the consequences of my actions as fully as possible; so that "I didn't have any other choice" becomes: "I chose this, because I like this outcome the most."

Your karma pertains a lot to fear, and how that fear has driven you to certain actions. This is no different than when someone was traumatized in another way and now behaves differently because of it. Like if someone was attacked for speaking, and now they are overly quiet.

For many of our past lives, we truly didn't have any other choice. However, now we are reunited with Satan and the knowledge he brings. We have tools available for gaining true success and prosperity, not using half-baked solutions simply to survive.

Every single person that I have spoken to about their karma exhibits a degree of resistance. For example, with Saturn blocking an aspect of their life, they believe it will seemingly never change. Some people are better at recognizing their flaws than others. It can take some effort to envision a future for yourself that is free of these problems, but this must be done to allow yourself to take corrective steps.

As we grow, we learn what is safe and healthy to commit to, and what is wrong. For some people, they have committed to something, perhaps for centuries, and now they have to undo that to move forward. Just in general, as we advance, our views on life will change, as well.

 

[FancyMancy]

It's a kick in the teeth, but you can - if you choose to - learn from it. There's no need to run away and hide. You said I'm your favourite, and you're leaving me?! Don't make me cry, Meteor! You better stay... or... erm... else... You don't want me to cry, do you?!

So if I leave, you'll cry; and if I don't leave, others will cry about it. In other words, nothing changes either way, and my presence here seems all the more irrelevant. However, you are indeed my favourite. Does that mean your tears would weigh more? Could it be that they actually consist of deuterium oxide? Intriguing. I'll consider sticking around just a bit longer, at least to reply to you.

I was thinking more dihydrogen monoxide. It's dangerous, though - it mutates DNA; denatures proteins; disrupts cell membranes; alters critical neurotransmitters chemically; is found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol... That shit is dangerous and poisonous. Meh to others whingeing if you stay. Be a rebel and revel in the fact that you have power over them. They are bothered about you; ask them if they want your autograph, and charge them for it! :twisted:

My point is that distancing myself would probably ease the tension, and afterwards I can just deal with my own problems in private. It's not like I would leave my spiritual practices behind me just because I'm not here; those are too important to me.

I don't know what the tension is you're referring to. From what I can tell, from what I have seen, things seem fine.

I'm able to see that your attitude towards this is much more sensible and healthy than mine in the first place.

'Twasn't always so. The Internet used to be my life, for a time. In one way or another, being a 'keyboard warrior' and taking things online way too seriously, when it's just meh actually.

Can you imagine a blind person who spent their whole life coping with their inability to see? They imagined what the world around them might look like, used this imagination as a helpful construct to traverse reality more easily, and took pride in how well they were able to function in life despite it. Then, suddenly, thanks to a surgery, they're able to see. No matter how accurate their imagination was, don't you think they would feel overwhelmed? And perhaps, a bit shy?

Maybe. Some would revel in it and want to go out and see everything. They'd saturate themselves in it, and I would think that their dreams - both night-time sleeping, and also aspirations - would be very different.

I'm able to talk about these things so openly, because it concerns things that I hate, that I want to rant about and get off my chest; as well as ideas I've wanted to bring into reality for who knows how many years, or lifetimes. However, if I actually go through with this... then my ideas, and my hatred, and the way I imagined things would be, none of that would have any meaning anymore in the face of the reality I would be directly confronted with.

Maybe that's why fantasies are fantasies, and not realities.

Most likely, despite having become such a talkative, somewhat detached person over the course of my life... suddenly, even I would be too shy to talk about it anymore. I mean, it's my body after all, right?

No-one can force you to say things about anything. You could just as easily, if not easier, stop talking about "sex change" things, and just talk about anything else. If anyone mentions it or replies to an existing post, you can ignore it or tell them you don't talk/don't want to talk about it. To be honest, I think you think this is a bigger problem than it is; to me, it doesn't seem like a problem at all. Just ignore it, don't talk about it, and go on with other things instead. You may still have a bit, some, or a lot of things to get off your chest, etc., but you could just quietly not talk about this anymore, or not for much longer, then that will be that, and you continue on with other things.

But even if it wasn't for that, I'm worried about the consequences reading about it may have for others. Even if I simply state the truth, knowledge can be harmful and dangerous if it's applied incorrectly. Even if I add like 5 disclaimers, people who consider this topic important for themselves might still try to learn from my experience, since there's not that much other information to pick from when it comes to this topic in the context of spirituality.

You cannot be responsible for others. They choose to do things themselves. People have to make their own mistakes - that is not your responsibility; it is theirs, so they can (hopefully) learn.

The error in that, is that my experiences are a direct result of my own specific circumstances; and the experiences other people might have, can be entirely different. In other words: I think the information provided by my experience is completely irrelevant to anyone, due to the extent of individual differences present in such situations; and yet, some people might convince themselves that it's relevant to them, and use that as a reason to justify making poorly thought-out decisions. I think that would be horrible.

Sorry in advance for downplaying this and undermining it and belittling it, etc... but - "If! If!" If wishes were fishes, the World would be an ocean - but that's not the case now, is it? If I had a billion pounds, or if I were this much different, or if I did this or if I did that... If I could turn back time... If, if, if. Why not When, When, When? Getting on with things, and getting better. People might see your posts and use that - regardless of what you mention - as validation; like I said, about confirmation bias, to continue with doing things about having a "sex change", no matter how much you say, warn or disclaim. People have been taught, over the centuries, repeatedly to be stubborn and intractable, through multiple lives. You can't save them; only they can choose to be saved.

When I asked if I could give you closure, I didn't mean that in a literal sense. Rather, what I meant is: do you really think it would be for the best if this information is publicly revealed, no matter how dangerous it might be? Do you value knowledge regardless of its merit? Is that... just to satisfy your curiosity, no matter who might get hurt as a result? Or is there more to it?

No, I'm just trying to ease things a bit. It's not surprising it doesn't come through well in text. People might be nosey and want to know what happened, but it's your personal life, so you shouldn't share the outcome; unless, perhaps, you want or need to.

I do mean you, actually. But since you were taking it as a compliment either way, I suppose I didn't have to point that out.

Lol. "Normal" is Boring. (Forgive me for this, but) wHaT iS "nOrMal"? Lol.

I had a recurring nightmare...

You might ignore this, because you said you don't want to talk about it. I still don't understand how someone in a dream forcing themselves onto you, to "try and force you to accept being Male"; someone else being a faker, poser, user online; or others in life all equal why you believe you should be Female. Everything in this jew World is hyped up to extremes, so just being who and what we actually are is not easy, as if we're being bounced around like a pinball in a pinball machine, or tossed around like a ragdoll. If you're a feminine Male, then so what? You're a feminine Male. It seems as if you have to wear the correct emo or chav or skater clothes because you seem a bit emo or chav or skater. By that, I mean thinking you have to have a "sex change" because you might be a bit feminine as a Male. Meh. Be a feminine Male. If the meditations help you to be balanced in the future, which surely they will, then that's what's going to happen. I doubt you will do what I am about to say, but maybe 1 day per week be deliberately-over-the-top-ly masculine; another day per week be deliberately-over-the-top-ly feminine; the other 5 days per week, just be. You won't like some of it or all of it, but the more you do it, over time, the more you'll get used to it... Then it won't seem as important to you; you won't be bothered, or perhaps care, anymore.

...while I sometimes wasn't assertive enough to stand up for myself in the past, nowadays, I won't tolerate anyone forcing anything I don't want on me.

After all of the - you could say - reverse-psychology being forced upon you had worked. "Say 'No' to teenage Children, and they'll rebel; so instead, play it cool; or do the opposite" sort of thing.

Each time he compliments me, I like to think that it cancels out one of the insults people have hurled at me. If I keep going like this, eventually it'll break even, and then maybe my self-esteem will become positive.

Being selfish, I refer to the copper, silver, gold... coins again. It seems like you have employed that already. Like when christians say "the more I think about it, the more i ReAlIsE that there must have been a creator" in that - going back and back and back, that everything must have been created, ME: "OK, but who created 'god'?" CHRISTIANS: "'he' was just there". so go back and back and back... but stop there? Likewise with you - your partner's compliments cancel-out one insult from before; why stop there? Nature made you Male, yes?

I know you said you were told that you shouldn't mention these things, but since you have - why do you talk about them? Do you want an opinion of, or a knowledgable SS user or staff member to validate and confirm that you're OK to have a "sex change" operation? It's your life, your Soul, your Body, your Mind... and no-one else will be responsible for your actions, but you still want to, and intend to, go through with it?

It's true that this behaviour reinforces my feelings, and that's why I called it escapism. That said, the difference in how I was treated as a boy, and how I am treated now, is blatant and immense. Don't you think that means my feelings are correct, perhaps?

Nature made you Male. It's as simple a that. Feelings don't change what's what. Some ignorant individuals think, feel, believe Satan is evil, but those thoughts, feelings, beliefs don't change the fact that Satan is not evil.

I don't think they're correct, personally. But does that mean they're wrong? I don't think they're wrong, either. Is it not simply an observation of cause and effect? I can feel frustrated, angry even, that it came to this. But I don't see my error. I don't understand what I did wrong, or what I'm doing wrong; but that doesn't stop people from insulting me. Is the reason that they're insulting me, not simply that I wasn't born female? After all, I've been insulted so much both before and after my decision to change. If that's the case, then doesn't it make sense that I feel such an overwhelming urge to destroy the evidence?

Running away. One can curl up, roll over and die, or they can defy convention and stay who they are, regardless of what other ignorant, uncaring, irrelevant people want. You want to feel better because others were mean to you. Some say "repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth", attributed to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels. Literally, lies can't be truth, but people's perceptions, actions, beliefs, behaviours... would change, to conform to lies. Sorry, Meteor, but you're a conformist. A dream upset you by trying to force you to be a Boy, but real-life individuals complimented you about looking like a Girl. Sorry, but you need a long holiday from yourself for a while and clear your head.

Excuses don't change whether things are right or wrong, though; that's something I can only judge by the consequences of my actions. I suppose that's one of the merits of spiritual advancement: to know the consequences of one's actions beforehand.

Do you hope, that just in case the hospital will keep your Male bits in frozen storage, so that you can have them reattached later?! That won't happen. Instead, they'll either be sold to a jew to eat(?!) or put into vaccines, sold as dog food, sold as "processed" meat (soylent) or just incinerated. What a waste - and a disgusting one at that.

You're right that things don't change overnight, and I suppose I was really just bothered that I couldn't figure out how to take even a single step towards overcoming my fears.

Maybe because they're not "your" fears! Stop claiming them! Stop accepting them! Don't hold them tightly after your partner falls asleep at night; instead, dump them! "My fears", no wonder...

It feels like everything I tried the past two years, even when I thought I was really feeling up to it, just made things even worse instead, and that was very demoralising for me. I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but I took note of your suggestions, thank you. I think I should be more careful not to bite off more than I can chew at once.

You've been so used to what has been placed upon you for so long, that anything else is difficult and is uncomfortable and different, foreign, alien... etc. Keep 'wearing' those things, and you'll get used to them. Adaptation. The Mind is stubborn, but the more things are done, the more the Mind (eventually) adapts/conforms. I am far from any form of respectable and trustworthy Astrologist, but from what I think I understand, slightly, the energies of the Planet Neptune are so fecking difficult to sublimate (modify, change). (I just checked Azazel's Astrology, and I remembered it correctly! ^^) I would suggest that you have a bitchtard of a Neptune placement somewhere, which needs to be overcome. Obviously and of course - don't share any of your Astrology details. (That is more or less the extent of my... "advice" or "help"... regarding Astrology in this context.)

Maybe I am wasting my time? Like was mentioned in a post earlier. If so, then oh, well. Maybe I am not. Maybe someone else, or other individuals, could take notice and realise things.

thank you

I hope that I help. If anything I say helps and is beneficial, for the better, then it is worth it.

 

[FancyMancy]

Homosexuals are weak and vile. They cannot sustain the existence of their blood. They are everything we loath.

Who is "we"? jews, christians, muslims? Lol. Bad troll. Go back to Troll Nursery.

 

[FancyMancy]

You know prometheus played with dolls right?

Cheesuss! They're not "dolls"! They're action figures!

Idk man I think maybe there is something you're trying to tell us?

It was deliberate in choosing that username. It isn't very different than the "god" username.

 

[The Outlaw Torn]

Transgenders are the mix between Hermes and aphrodite. We are strong and fast fighters, with sharp minds and a thirst for knowledge.

And we have the sensuality and tender beauty of aphrodite. But a deep seated insecurity and fear of never being enough, that causes us to lash out. Meteor is an obvious example. But the legends explain this. It's our Satanic nature pushing us forward to be more beautiful, more Purr more worthy. Satan made us this way, it seems insane to normal people but our minds are simply different than yours.

It's a crime against nature, and as far as I'm concerned a crime against the Gods and their creations to force us to be what we aren't. Until humanity gets a clue, they will be deprived of our gifts to them, and we will be deprived of our bodies, souls, and lives. The reptillians make another big profit and remove a powerful piece from the board. Just wait a little bit longer tranny, have you tried football? Have you tried testosterone replacement therapy? Have you tried hypnosis? Have you tried electric shock therapy? Maybe you just weren't raised right, you should just be a proud faggot instead, for God's sake anything is better than being what you are!

Today they just demand to remove Trannies, tomorrow it's gays, then it's women, then it's dancers, singers, painters, then philosophers and then free warriors and heroes. Then they demand the heads of the non believers, then they demand your daughters for their bedchamber, and your sons for their army. Then they demand all your goods as taxes and they will ration out the bare necessities back to you. Then they control any form of learning to weaken the mind and soul. Just a little bit more and your jewish master will be so pleased little goyim.

Just take the first step goy, all we want is the nasty transgenders, they love the Gods too much. Sell them out you don't need them! . your eyes aswell son, we won't be needing those either. now go be a good lamb for your lord.

Everyone is acting like they get paid bully trans girls into repressing. They think they are doing some good service to humanity and saving lives, like some catholic priest that saves a teenage boy from sinning with a woman by raping him in the confession booth instead. Great job everyone, you really saved the passive homosexual from dressing up like a girl and ruining the entirety of all human civilization. You're such a hero.

"Just learn to accept yourself and heal from your trauma that us bigots gave to you for not being maaan enough, so that you can heal and become a maaaaan again. You were always just a maaaan, and you just need to heal from the trauma that made you believe you weren't a maaaaan. Just accept love into your heart and be a maaaaan you can't change what you are because I said so and I'm right because nature dictates maaaan"

https://youtu.be/eaeZ3RrzpLA

 

[Stormblood]

Homosexuals are weak and vile. They cannot sustain the existence of their blood. They are everything we loath.

Well, you are on the right forum, if you wish to expand your awareness and grow up. You can start by reading our websites, then dedicating and starting a meditation programme. All the instructions for these steps are on the websites themselves, so there is no need to ask. Also, literally every question you may want to ask as a beginner has already been answer. So scout the websites better and also this forum. If it's not on the website, the search function on the forum will lead to it.

Finally, if you want to talk about weak and vile, we can talk about "men" who think burping and farting is funny (or even normal for someone healthy), or that hurting other people as a "joke" (i.e. nutshots/sack tap) is normal and funny. Those behaviours and mindsets are actually weak-minded and vile. And that's just 2 of many things that are considered manly. Another is judging manhood by how many women you slept with, or the fact you shagged someone considered attractive, or how wasted you can get with alcohol, or the extent to which you can do irresponsible/immature/dangerous things to prove the "size of your dick".

 

[Henu the Great]

...

Not a single spiritual solution for inbalanced state was being mentioned. Only that young people should ingest estrogen.

I find this suspicious.

You are here, yet, you push the estrogen narrative. Why don't you spiritually heal, it would be beneficial regardless of your outlook.

 

[Jack]

So if I leave, you'll cry; and if I don't leave, others will cry about it. In other words, nothing changes either way, and my presence here seems all the more irrelevant. However, you are indeed my favourite. Does that mean your tears would weigh more? Could it be that they actually consist of deuterium oxide? Intriguing. I'll consider sticking around just a bit longer, at least to reply to you.

I was thinking more dihydrogen monoxide. It's dangerous, though - it mutates DNA; denatures proteins; disrupts cell membranes; alters critical neurotransmitters chemically; is found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol... That shit is dangerous and poisonous. Meh to others whingeing if you stay. Be a rebel and revel in the fact that you have power over them. They are bothered about you; ask them if they want your autograph, and charge them for it! :twisted:

My point is that distancing myself would probably ease the tension, and afterwards I can just deal with my own problems in private. It's not like I would leave my spiritual practices behind me just because I'm not here; those are too important to me.

I don't know what the tension is you're referring to. From what I can tell, from what I have seen, things seem fine.

I'm able to see that your attitude towards this is much more sensible and healthy than mine in the first place.

'Twasn't always so. The Internet used to be my life, for a time. In one way or another, being a 'keyboard warrior' and taking things online way too seriously, when it's just meh actually.

Can you imagine a blind person who spent their whole life coping with their inability to see? They imagined what the world around them might look like, used this imagination as a helpful construct to traverse reality more easily, and took pride in how well they were able to function in life despite it. Then, suddenly, thanks to a surgery, they're able to see. No matter how accurate their imagination was, don't you think they would feel overwhelmed? And perhaps, a bit shy?

Maybe. Some would revel in it and want to go out and see everything. They'd saturate themselves in it, and I would think that their dreams - both night-time sleeping, and also aspirations - would be very different.

I'm able to talk about these things so openly, because it concerns things that I hate, that I want to rant about and get off my chest; as well as ideas I've wanted to bring into reality for who knows how many years, or lifetimes. However, if I actually go through with this... then my ideas, and my hatred, and the way I imagined things would be, none of that would have any meaning anymore in the face of the reality I would be directly confronted with.

Maybe that's why fantasies are fantasies, and not realities.

Most likely, despite having become such a talkative, somewhat detached person over the course of my life... suddenly, even I would be too shy to talk about it anymore. I mean, it's my body after all, right?

No-one can force you to say things about anything. You could just as easily, if not easier, stop talking about "sex change" things, and just talk about anything else. If anyone mentions it or replies to an existing post, you can ignore it or tell them you don't talk/don't want to talk about it. To be honest, I think you think this is a bigger problem than it is; to me, it doesn't seem like a problem at all. Just ignore it, don't talk about it, and go on with other things instead. You may still have a bit, some, or a lot of things to get off your chest, etc., but you could just quietly not talk about this anymore, or not for much longer, then that will be that, and you continue on with other things.

But even if it wasn't for that, I'm worried about the consequences reading about it may have for others. Even if I simply state the truth, knowledge can be harmful and dangerous if it's applied incorrectly. Even if I add like 5 disclaimers, people who consider this topic important for themselves might still try to learn from my experience, since there's not that much other information to pick from when it comes to this topic in the context of spirituality.

You cannot be responsible for others. They choose to do things themselves. People have to make their own mistakes - that is not your responsibility; it is theirs, so they can (hopefully) learn.

The error in that, is that my experiences are a direct result of my own specific circumstances; and the experiences other people might have, can be entirely different. In other words: I think the information provided by my experience is completely irrelevant to anyone, due to the extent of individual differences present in such situations; and yet, some people might convince themselves that it's relevant to them, and use that as a reason to justify making poorly thought-out decisions. I think that would be horrible.

Sorry in advance for downplaying this and undermining it and belittling it, etc... but - "If! If!" If wishes were fishes, the World would be an ocean - but that's not the case now, is it? If I had a billion pounds, or if I were this much different, or if I did this or if I did that... If I could turn back time... If, if, if. Why not When, When, When? Getting on with things, and getting better. People might see your posts and use that - regardless of what you mention - as validation; like I said, about confirmation bias, to continue with doing things about having a "sex change", no matter how much you say, warn or disclaim. People have been taught, over the centuries, repeatedly to be stubborn and intractable, through multiple lives. You can't save them; only they can choose to be saved.

When I asked if I could give you closure, I didn't mean that in a literal sense. Rather, what I meant is: do you really think it would be for the best if this information is publicly revealed, no matter how dangerous it might be? Do you value knowledge regardless of its merit? Is that... just to satisfy your curiosity, no matter who might get hurt as a result? Or is there more to it?

No, I'm just trying to ease things a bit. It's not surprising it doesn't come through well in text. People might be nosey and want to know what happened, but it's your personal life, so you shouldn't share the outcome; unless, perhaps, you want or need to.

I do mean you, actually. But since you were taking it as a compliment either way, I suppose I didn't have to point that out.

Lol. "Normal" is Boring. (Forgive me for this, but) wHaT iS "nOrMal"? Lol.

I had a recurring nightmare...

You might ignore this, because you said you don't want to talk about it. I still don't understand how someone in a dream forcing themselves onto you, to "try and force you to accept being Male"; someone else being a faker, poser, user online; or others in life all equal why you believe you should be Female. Everything in this jew World is hyped up to extremes, so just being who and what we actually are is not easy, as if we're being bounced around like a pinball in a pinball machine, or tossed around like a ragdoll. If you're a feminine Male, then so what? You're a feminine Male. It seems as if you have to wear the correct emo or chav or skater clothes because you seem a bit emo or chav or skater. By that, I mean thinking you have to have a "sex change" because you might be a bit feminine as a Male. Meh. Be a feminine Male. If the meditations help you to be balanced in the future, which surely they will, then that's what's going to happen. I doubt you will do what I am about to say, but maybe 1 day per week be deliberately-over-the-top-ly masculine; another day per week be deliberately-over-the-top-ly feminine; the other 5 days per week, just be. You won't like some of it or all of it, but the more you do it, over time, the more you'll get used to it... Then it won't seem as important to you; you won't be bothered, or perhaps care, anymore.

...while I sometimes wasn't assertive enough to stand up for myself in the past, nowadays, I won't tolerate anyone forcing anything I don't want on me.

After all of the - you could say - reverse-psychology being forced upon you had worked. "Say 'No' to teenage Children, and they'll rebel; so instead, play it cool; or do the opposite" sort of thing.

Each time he compliments me, I like to think that it cancels out one of the insults people have hurled at me. If I keep going like this, eventually it'll break even, and then maybe my self-esteem will become positive.

Being selfish, I refer to the copper, silver, gold... coins again. It seems like you have employed that already. Like when christians say "the more I think about it, the more i ReAlIsE that there must have been a creator" in that - going back and back and back, that everything must have been created, ME: "OK, but who created 'god'?" CHRISTIANS: "'he' was just there". so go back and back and back... but stop there? Likewise with you - your partner's compliments cancel-out one insult from before; why stop there? Nature made you Male, yes?

I know you said you were told that you shouldn't mention these things, but since you have - why do you talk about them? Do you want an opinion of, or a knowledgable SS user or staff member to validate and confirm that you're OK to have a "sex change" operation? It's your life, your Soul, your Body, your Mind... and no-one else will be responsible for your actions, but you still want to, and intend to, go through with it?

It's true that this behaviour reinforces my feelings, and that's why I called it escapism. That said, the difference in how I was treated as a boy, and how I am treated now, is blatant and immense. Don't you think that means my feelings are correct, perhaps?

Nature made you Male. It's as simple a that. Feelings don't change what's what. Some ignorant individuals think, feel, believe Satan is evil, but those thoughts, feelings, beliefs don't change the fact that Satan is not evil.

I don't think they're correct, personally. But does that mean they're wrong? I don't think they're wrong, either. Is it not simply an observation of cause and effect? I can feel frustrated, angry even, that it came to this. But I don't see my error. I don't understand what I did wrong, or what I'm doing wrong; but that doesn't stop people from insulting me. Is the reason that they're insulting me, not simply that I wasn't born female? After all, I've been insulted so much both before and after my decision to change. If that's the case, then doesn't it make sense that I feel such an overwhelming urge to destroy the evidence?

Running away. One can curl up, roll over and die, or they can defy convention and stay who they are, regardless of what other ignorant, uncaring, irrelevant people want. You want to feel better because others were mean to you. Some say "repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth", attributed to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels. Literally, lies can't be truth, but people's perceptions, actions, beliefs, behaviours... would change, to conform to lies. Sorry, Meteor, but you're a conformist. A dream upset you by trying to force you to be a Boy, but real-life individuals complimented you about looking like a Girl. Sorry, but you need a long holiday from yourself for a while and clear your head.

Excuses don't change whether things are right or wrong, though; that's something I can only judge by the consequences of my actions. I suppose that's one of the merits of spiritual advancement: to know the consequences of one's actions beforehand.

Do you hope, that just in case the hospital will keep your Male bits in frozen storage, so that you can have them reattached later?! That won't happen. Instead, they'll either be sold to a jew to eat(?!) or put into vaccines, sold as dog food, sold as "processed" meat (soylent) or just incinerated. What a waste - and a disgusting one at that.

You're right that things don't change overnight, and I suppose I was really just bothered that I couldn't figure out how to take even a single step towards overcoming my fears.

Maybe because they're not "your" fears! Stop claiming them! Stop accepting them! Don't hold them tightly after your partner falls asleep at night; instead, dump them! "My fears", no wonder...

It feels like everything I tried the past two years, even when I thought I was really feeling up to it, just made things even worse instead, and that was very demoralising for me. I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but I took note of your suggestions, thank you. I think I should be more careful not to bite off more than I can chew at once.

You've been so used to what has been placed upon you for so long, that anything else is difficult and is uncomfortable and different, foreign, alien... etc. Keep 'wearing' those things, and you'll get used to them. Adaptation. The Mind is stubborn, but the more things are done, the more the Mind (eventually) adapts/conforms. I am far from any form of respectable and trustworthy Astrologist, but from what I think I understand, slightly, the energies of the Planet Neptune are so fecking difficult to sublimate (modify, change). (I just checked Azazel's Astrology, and I remembered it correctly! ^^) I would suggest that you have a bitchtard of a Neptune placement somewhere, which needs to be overcome. Obviously and of course - don't share any of your Astrology details. (That is more or less the extent of my... "advice" or "help"... regarding Astrology in this context.)

Maybe I am wasting my time? Like was mentioned in a post earlier. If so, then oh, well. Maybe I am not. Maybe someone else, or other individuals, could take notice and realise things.

thank you

I hope that I help. If anything I say helps and is beneficial, for the better, then it is worth it.

Nature makes us male, sure, we were born "Boys".
But we were not born men.

I was also born as a baby, and I also grow up and become who I am. Who the fuck is anyone else on earth to decide who we are? Not my lord, not my master, and not my God that's for damn sure.

We had to slowly and surely against all our own efforts and wishes for years, be transformed into men. Dragged into it by kronos, kicking and screaming and wishing to be fixed for our entire lives, and we are told each and every single time that "we are not allowed" xD or we are not developed enough to make the decision lmao. Any more developed and it will be to late for me you ignorant fuck.

We fight our battles and struggle our struggles all alone, because "I'm a young man" or I'm "almost a man" or "I'm a grown ass man" all this responsibility and pressure and I'm not even allowed to make any decisions for myself l. I'm just expected to obey at a higher capacity.

I used to walk around crying, "I don't like the way my pp feels, I hate it it feels bad" I would have a hissy fit if I felt my penis or balls at all, even as a little kid. I made it plenty fucking clear and did absolutely everything I could. No help, no kindness, no love. I remember it like it happened 15 seconds ago.

Us feminine boys had to grow up being beaten, screamed at, put into isolation, punished and humiliated by everyone constantly, not limited to but especially family or peers and even authorities. If we ever so much as walked incorrectly, talked incorrectly, smiled too much or laughed wrong, or accidentally stood with the wrong posture, or tried to pick out the wrong clothes at the store, looked at a girl's cartoon, or colored with a pink marker, Or even looked at toys made for girls, or tried to go near the girls at recess or talk with girls at all they say "eeew go away". Talk with boys at all they make fun of you for not being cool, it's miserable.

Growing up with the brain of a girl and a neutral body, then hit puberty and start turning ugly and more hairy on our face and legs and our voice cracks and is very clearly becoming embarrassing. Our feet get huge our jaw starts to get big, face looks more and more scary and boyish in the mirror, none of the clothes I like fit me, I just look like one of those cross dresser freaks on on TV. Then God forbid you are submissive sexually and your parents find out. God forbid you try to wear makeup, or buy the wrong clothes for yourself, or wear your hair the wrong way, too blonde or too long,, or spend too much time with boys, or spend too much time with girls for that matter.

Better set my boy straight, better put him back in line, better make him act right, better take away all his faggoty shit and make him like a man again. Disown him, punch his arms and legs until he can't move anymore, whip him with the belt buckle until he bleeds, emasculate him and throw him around like a ragdoll, don't feed him keep him skinny so he can't fight back, don't let him out of the house or he might go suck God knows how many clocks. Then send him to school hungry, traumatized and exhausted from yanked out of bed at 11 o'clock and smacked around because of something that your mother said happened, or something that the school said happened, or your siblings, or whatever bullshit reason. "He's in the second grade, he can't be acting like this, what will everyone think of my reputation if my child is misbehaving!! So you walk to school for an hour, sit at school for 8 hours like a good little obedient well behaved pet doing the same math problems over and over 3 times a day, math, science and homework. Learning about the same Holocaust and the same slavery year after year 4 times a day, history, social studies, english, homework. walk home for an hour. Your whole day is gone and your hungry as all hell, and then you walk in the door and your mother is sitting there watching television and she orders you to make the house spotless. The dog hasn't been out all day there's puddles of piss and piles of dogshit all over. You clean it all up, make some food if there is any. Your mother is screaming about some dust under the table or a smudge on the floor, or the gunk on the sink,or the piss at the bottom of the toilet behind the bowl. Or the precious precious dog is barking because of me, Or the couch has some doghair that won't come off. Or the laundry needs done, or my homework isn't done yet or I forgot to say yes ma'am no ma'am to the kikes at my school today or the look on my face isn't satisfactory, of my tone of voice isn't acceptable enough , or my attitude needs "fixed" lol. My parents got a call, and my mother has alot to say to my father about me. They scream and call eachother every known obscenity for 6 more hours until they get drunk on patron and rum and laugh like hyenas about random niggardry for hours and then just when I think I'm safe. My dad comes in and yells at me about something. He screams at me like he's interrogating a war criminal for 2 hours. Going on about me and my life, over things in question over and over and over until I slip up and say 1 wrong thing or I am silent for too long, or look at him the wrong way, or make 1 wrong expression and he beats the fuck out of me. And then comes back again just for sniffling too loud. And then tells me to come out and sit with him while he talks about his day and his feelings and threatens me further about what everyone wants and expects from me. Then he goes and spends all his money on drugs and alcohol and clothes because his faggot son that he disowned isn't worth wasting the money on food anyways. Then I go to school and I get bullied by noggers and beaners and kike teachers and not one single friend cares about me enough to stand up for me or help me. I can't focus on my work, I fall asleep in class and OY VEY you better hope that dad doesn't see the monthly progress report card. Uh oh he got the report card by mail. What the fuck is this? a c- in gym? Are you the dumbest mother fucking piece of shit failure that has ever walked this earth? Everything I do for you and you can't even get simple A's B's on a fucking report card? Smack my head, start crying ears ringing "I fucking dropped out since before I even got to this grade, I was running the streets on my own since 14!! a real man!! :you don't care about anything I day or do, you're shitting on me!" Smacks my head really scared now. Now here comes my monthly dinnertime beating that my whole family gets to see. My mother starts to take some tips ooh that's a good move . My brother starts to agree with what my father says about me. I'm sitting on on floor balling my eyes out,, "get the fuck over here and finish your food!" Great. It gets worse and worse, next time it was in the parking lot at the furniture store, after this were waiting in line to get into the restaurant. Wipe that fucking look off your face bitch. Stop crying you little nigger fore I kill you, get your shit together. *grabs my neck and walks me into the store telling me to smile*
hello sir

Feminine boys are betrayed by everyone who is supposed to love and protect them, and anyone they might look up to or care about and were told at every turn in life that we are sick, weak, stupid, mentally ill faggots who don't deserve a thing besides a bullet in the head. Or a sword in the chest

Literally all I want is to be pretty and happy, but this is a clear and offensive crime to be doing because I was not given permission by Jesus christ the rabbi the man who died for us! Not a single friend, not a single moment of respite outside of hiding myself away hoping that someone isn't going to come hurt me.

Day and nights intense training for years my only goal is to be my true self, but my body is maturing faster than I'm able to get the power I need to transform. No woman could handle slowly and unavoidably losing every single aspect of her womanhood.

becoming huge and burly and hairy, deep man voiced freak. And then still wanting to feel small and protected and loved and being able to submit to a dominant lover. This brain that got too much estrogen I'n the womb doesn't work well on high testosterone, it's scary

How the fuck am I supposed to accept being a huge ass man but wanting to be loved like a cute little woman. Trans people literally try everything, we become bodybuilders, we become warriors, we become the greatest sports stars we can be, we have big families and do everything humanely possible to be good and worthy men.

But every second of every day your thoughts are going to be dominated by the same things.
"When am I going to transform"
"It's too late now I should have already killed myself"
"What's the best way to do it?"
"I should make them all pay before I go, cops, family, teachers lots of ways"
"What's the BEST way to do it?"
"They are all happy without me why don't I just kill myself instead?"
"Why don't I just transition if I'm gonna die anyways?"
"It's too late your life is over kill yourself"

Until you end up like Bruce jenner with 100 surgeries and every bias and lie that money can buy, you're on magazines and tv, you're told you're the greatest woman of all time, everyone says you're so courageous and beautiful. But they all really mean you're a disgusting cowardly revolting abomination. But that you're everything the jews want you to be. They want you you be vile enough to corrupt and destroy the image of anything good and true. Make the children scared to grow up and be like you hon!

We would be so pretty if the law would let us transition when we are young, but the world is made up exclusively of cowards and jews. When the Gods have their say in things people are allowed to become who they want to be, as soon as they are ready.

The human race is quite literally the enemy of anything that wants to different or unique or free or strong. The people of earth are sick and rotten on every level and they have the Gaul to say that trans people need to just "Accept themselves and be men!?" How about we just accept ourselves and be ourselves? Everyone can drown at this point.

The happiest year of my life, more true and more free than all the others, has started the day I ran down to the clinic and picked up my estrogen. I've never been more proud of myself or more happy to be alive or been more pleased with my body or my soul or life in general. I got my emotions, and my smile, and my future back. And it was not a minute too soon, People are going to see just how strong we really are. Trans girls have always had a place in the temple, and a place at the side of gods and kings, and queens.

Transgenders are the mix between Hermes and aphrodite. We are strong and fast fighters, with sharp minds and a thirst for knowledge.

And we have the sensuality and tender beauty of aphrodite. But a deep seated insecurity and fear of never being enough, that causes us to lash out. Meteor is an obvious example. But the legends explain this. It's our Satanic nature pushing us forward to be more beautiful, more Purr more worthy. Satan made us this way, it seems insane to normal people but our minds are simply different than yours.

It's a crime against nature, and as far as I'm concerned a crime against the Gods and their creations to force us to be what we aren't. Until humanity gets a clue, they will be deprived of our gifts to them, and we will be deprived of our bodies, souls, and lives. The reptillians make another big profit and remove a powerful piece from the board. Just wait a little bit longer tranny, have you tried football? Have you tried testosterone replacement therapy? Have you tried hypnosis? Have you tried electric shock therapy? Maybe you just weren't raised right, you should just be a proud faggot instead, for God's sake anything is better than being what you are!

Today they just demand to remove Trannies, tomorrow it's gays, then it's women, then it's dancers, singers, painters, then philosophers and then free warriors and heroes. Then they demand the heads of the non believers, then they demand your daughters for their bedchamber, and your sons for their army. Then they demand all your goods as taxes and they will ration out the bare necessities back to you. Then they control any form of learning to weaken the mind and soul. Just a little bit more and your jewish master will be so pleased little goyim.

Just take the first step goy, all we want is the nasty transgenders, they love the Gods too much. Sell them out you don't need them! . your eyes aswell son, we won't be needing those either. now go be a good lamb for your lord.

Everyone is acting like they get paid bully trans girls into repressing. They think they are doing some good service to humanity and saving lives, like some catholic priest that saves a teenage boy from sinning with a woman by raping him in the confession booth instead. Great job everyone, you really saved the passive homosexual from dressing up like a girl and ruining the entirety of all human civilization. You're such a hero.

"Just learn to accept yourself and heal from your trauma that us bigots gave to you for not being maaan enough, so that you can heal and become a maaaaan again. You were always just a maaaan, and you just need to heal from the trauma that made you believe you weren't a maaaaan. Just accept love into your heart and be a maaaaan you can't change what you are because I said so and I'm right because nature dictates maaaan"

This isn't r/trans. No one cares about how you justify your mental illness or what you think about yourself. And no one is going to come for anyone else.

Infact you better hope to God that after everyone is done with these Jews ,Women don't make groups coming specifically for your kind for trying to pretend to be them. Do you think a single man will utter a single word when women collectively start going against trans.

You also better hope to God that J K Rowling isn't alive by then.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

...

Not a single spiritual solution for inbalanced state was being mentioned. Only that young people should ingest estrogen.

I find this suspicious.

You are here, yet, you push the estrogen narrative. Why don't you spiritually heal, it would be beneficial regardless of your outlook.

This Fanboy account is an infiltrator and troll who has been banned on like more than 20 or 30 different accounts. The most recent before this was the account BigCheese6million.

It always promotes things like genital mutilation, synthetic hormone modification that destroys the endochrine system, and drug use. And has been banned many times for promoting these kinds of extremely damaging and dangerous things.

For some reason Cobra seems to use a system of banning the account but not the person, so the infiltrators and trolls always keep coming back. And even when we all know it is the same person, he does not ban them on the new account. This is something I disagree with. It is like each new account has to make a ban worthy offence before it is removed, even though everybody knows the infiltrators history of 30 different accounts banned. For some reason that is ignored. I think he believes that some people can change their mind, or wants to give another chance. But a rat is a rat, and with 30 accounts from the same person always getting banned for promoting harmful things, and fake account #31 is also promoting the exact same harmful things that it always has, I don't think there should be any more patience.

Anyway, this Fanboy account was created basically the next day after the BigCheese6million was banned. He writes with the exact same identical voice, identical style of speaking including habits of using very specific unusual phrases or words, and always with the promotion of mutilating the genitals, destroying the endochrine system, and drug use. Several of us knew from the first comments ever written on the Fanboy account that it is the exact same person. But he has spent some months now mostly trying to hide his negative intentions, trying to not promote harmful things as often as he used to, even sometimes writing a positive or good comment. Trying to blend in and infiltrate, but it doesn't work because we have already known from the beginning who it is and what damaging influence he tries to spread. I guess it is the idea of each specific account needs a specific reason to ban it, and all past history of the actual person is ignored. But I think if you have spent multiple years as a negative influence and a troll trying to promote dangerous things against our people, and have had around 30 different accounts banned for this behaviour, I do not agree with ignoring it or forgiving it just because the new account tries to do a more effective job infiltrating by not shaking the boat as drastically.

.......

 

[Henu the Great]

...

I know Brother. It's just that I see no one else saying anything else against this so I must say something. I remember how this username started out, and continued their play. It's like pendulum swinging how this person comes across. Sometimes ah so innocent and well meaning, other times subtly bullshitting and back to straight out of synagogue. To repeat the same process over and over.

As for the banning system. I don't think you can ban any IP forever without risking that someone else using the same IP at some other point of time loses access here, and we do know that Maxines wish is to keep this place open to all people. Unfortunately the cost is that lowlives can access and shit around.

 

[HPS Lydia]

...

I know Brother. It's just that I see no one else saying anything else against this so I must say something. I remember how this username started out, and continued their play. It's like pendulum swinging how this person comes across. Sometimes ah so innocent and well meaning, other times subtly bullshitting and back to straight out of synagogue. To repeat the same process over and over.

As for the banning system. I don't think you can ban any IP forever without risking that someone else using the same IP at some other point of time loses access here, and we do know that Maxines wish is to keep this place open to all people. Unfortunately the cost is that lowlives can access and shit around.

Yes, this is what HP Cobra mentioned before, not wanting to ban IP addresses as a lot of people rely on Tor and VPN's, so other members who happen to log in with the same will not be able to access the forums.

 

[Stormblood]

[...]

You also better hope to God that J K Rowling isn't alive by then.

Let me guess... she may turn him into a toad or send him to a Dementor?

 

[Henu the Great]

...

Not a single spiritual solution for inbalanced state was being mentioned. Only that young people should ingest estrogen.

I find this suspicious.

You are here, yet, you push the estrogen narrative. Why don't you spiritually heal, it would be beneficial regardless of your outlook.

Bjarkan vibrated into the bones, seemed to help me in my early years.

Inanna into the pituitary Pineal thyroid, tonsils, armpit lymphomas, thymus, adrenals, hip lymphnodes, testes. Affirming "healthy feminization in the most proper way for me"

Every meditation and yoga I do, I'm trying to get close to my truly most pure powerful self and "heal". Every trans person who comes here shares this motivation. Obviously

There's nothing to heal from, I already became my child self again. I would mention how to do spiritual solutions but I'm not valefor, I clearly don't know enough, nor am I strong enough.

Estradiol pills and spironolactone pills, work better. Trading your manhood and fertility for your LIFE and a chance at cultivating your womanhood is a pretty damn good deal. And it costs 30 bucks a month without insurance... bite me

That is not excactly balancing yourself.

In any case, it is fine if you want to play pretend and destroy your health, but do not encourage minors here to do the same.

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

Bjarkan vibrated into the bones, seemed to help me in my early years.

Inanna into the pituitary Pineal thyroid, tonsils, armpit lymphomas, thymus, adrenals, hip lymphnodes, testes. Affirming "healthy feminization in the most proper way for me"

Every meditation and yoga I do, I'm trying to get close to my truly most pure powerful self and "heal". Every trans person who comes here shares this motivation. Obviously

There's nothing to heal from, I already became my child self again. I would mention how to do spiritual solutions but I'm not valefor, I clearly don't know enough, nor am I strong enough.

Estradiol pills and spironolactone pills, work better. Trading your manhood and fertility for your LIFE and a chance at cultivating your womanhood is a pretty damn good deal. And it costs 30 bucks a month without insurance... bite me

That is not excactly balancing yourself.

In any case, it is fine if you want to play pretend and destroy your health, but do not encourage minors here to do the same.

This is not the roman legion, nobody should have to reach the age of 20 before they are allowed to make choices with their body.

A boy reaches sexual maturity between the ages of 11-14. We can make our own choices at that point. What you say is irrelevant. The jews don't rule the human soul, and the dark age misery that we had to deal with is no more.

Witches are free, women are free,transgenders are free. We make our own decisions now. To hell with your cuckold "minors" talk.

The age of concent for marriage in America is 14 with parental approval. These minors you are talking about are fully fledged human beings with individual needs and feelings. Get a grip

14 year old teens are hardly mature at all. Even more so in this age.
They act like overgrown children entitled to anything, think they are great and can do anything with 0 responsibilities nor the life experience needed to make wise decisions.

Anyone who does not fit the description above is a total rarity.

Also many adults still exhibit this childish behavior.

 

[Henu the Great]

...

...

This is not the roman legion, nobody should have to reach the age of 20 before they are allowed to make choices with their body.

A boy reaches sexual maturity between the ages of 11-14. We can make our own choices at that point. What you say is irrelevant. The jews don't rule the human soul, and the dark age misery that we had to deal with is no more.

Witches are free, women are free,transgenders are free. We make our own decisions now. To hell with your cuckold "minors" talk.

The age of concent for marriage in America is 14 with parental approval. These minors you are talking about are fully fledged human beings with individual needs and feelings. Get a grip

You're right, this is JoS instead.

The brain and mind are not fully developed until twenty-something so your point is irrelevant. Just continue trying to justify your unhealthy habits, it does not matter because it is unacceptable no matter how you spin it.

 

[Shadowcat]

...

I know Brother. It's just that I see no one else saying anything else against this so I must say something. I remember how this username started out, and continued their play. It's like pendulum swinging how this person comes across. Sometimes ah so innocent and well meaning, other times subtly bullshitting and back to straight out of synagogue. To repeat the same process over and over.

As for the banning system. I don't think you can ban any IP forever without risking that someone else using the same IP at some other point of time loses access here, and we do know that Maxines wish is to keep this place open to all people. Unfortunately the cost is that lowlives can access and shit around.

This is a classic pattern of jews, feigning repentance, fake being genuine, and apology after apology to only repeat the same shit again.

 

[FancyMancy]

Nature makes us male, sure, we were born "Boys".
But we were not born men...

This sounds like a recruitment advert for military conscription, or thereabouts.

Any more developed and it will be to late for me you ignorant fuck.

I'm not an ignorant fuck. I'm only ignorant of what I don't know. Thanks.

I'm just expected to obey at a higher capacity.

What do you want? Fluffy pillows made out of clouds, plush toys, sweeties and rainbows?

Us feminine boys had to grow up being beaten, screamed at, put into isolation, punished and humiliated by everyone constantly, not limited to but especially family or peers and even authorities.

What Meteor said seems different.

If we ever so much as walked incorrectly, talked incorrectly, smiled too much or laughed wrong, or accidentally stood with the wrong posture, or tried to pick out the wrong clothes at the store, looked at a girl's cartoon, or colored with a pink marker, Or even looked at toys made for girls, or tried to go near the girls at recess or talk with girls at all they say "eeew go away". Talk with boys at all they make fun of you for not being cool, it's miserable.

Non-sissy Boys grew-up being bullied. Some of them are very hairy geeks.

Growing up with the brain of a girl

[citation needed]

Better set my boy straight, better put him back in line, better make him act right, better take away all his faggoty shit and make him like a man again....emasculate him and throw him around like a ragdoll...

So are they trying to make you act right, as a masculine Boy, or demasculate you to be a Girl? Make your mind up.

Feminine boys are betrayed by everyone who is supposed to love and protect them, and anyone they might look up to or care about and were told at every turn in life that we are sick, weak, stupid, mentally ill faggots who don't deserve a thing besides a bullet in the head. Or a sword in the chest

[citation needed]

Literally all I want is to be pretty and happy, but this is a clear and offensive crime to be doing because I was not given permission by Jesus christ the rabbi the man who died for us! Not a single friend, not a single moment of respite outside of hiding myself away hoping that someone isn't going to come hurt me.

Huh, yeah - hope is as helpful as heyzeus. (You'd think the jew wouldn't make it as obvious as calling its fake character, "jesus", a name sounding very similar to Zeus, a very ancient God...)

Day and nights intense training for years my only goal is to be my true self, but my body is maturing faster than I'm able to get the power I need to transform. No woman could handle slowly and unavoidably losing every single aspect of her womanhood.

So you're saying you're born Boys but not Men; so... you're born Boys and Women?

becoming huge and burly and hairy, deep man voiced freak.

If it weren't for these "freaks", Boys (and Girls!) wouldn't exist.

This brain that got too much estrogen I'n the womb doesn't work well on high testosterone, it's scary

[citation needed]

How the fuck am I supposed to accept being a huge ass man but wanting to be loved like a cute little woman.

Yeah, that shit's fucked-up. You might need to go get a reality check.

Trans people literally try everything, we become bodybuilders, we become warriors, we become the greatest sports stars we can be, we have big families and do everything humanely possible to be good and worthy men.

[citation needed]

But every second of every day your thoughts are going to be dominated by the same things.
"When am I going to transform"
"It's too late now I should have already killed myself"
"What's the best way to do it?"
"I should make them all pay before I go, cops, family, teachers lots of ways"
"What's the BEST way to do it?"
"They are all happy without me why don't I just kill myself instead?"
"Why don't I just transition if I'm gonna die anyways?"
"It's too late your life is over kill yourself"

The more you think and do things, the more it becomes a part of you; what you focus on consumes you; thoughts become things - for good or for bad. Copper, silver, gold... coins. I might repeat these things until I am blue in the face, but then I can go to Papa Smurf for advice...

Until you end up like Bruce jenner with 100 surgeries and every bias and lie that money can buy, you're on magazines and tv, you're told you're the greatest woman of all time, everyone says you're so courageous and beautiful.

Lol. Yeah, lol. You'd be like a jew on TV...

But they all really mean you're a disgusting cowardly revolting abomination. But that you're everything the jews want you to be. They want you you be vile enough to corrupt and destroy the image of anything good and true. Make the children scared to grow up and be like you hon!

Then stop wasting time and energy and effort, and get on with beneficial things...

We would be so pretty if the law would let us transition when we are young, but the world is made up exclusively of cowards and jews. When the Gods have their say in things people are allowed to become who they want to be, as soon as they are ready.

Yeah, that's why Children work in factories, on building sites, on oil rigs...

The human race is quite literally the enemy of anything that wants to different or unique or free or strong.

Which Human Race? There are three. If you are saying Humans = jew shit, then you are either misinformed or - based on what you type and what else has been said - meh, get lost, you bad troll and saddo with no life and too much time.

The people of earth are sick and rotten on every level and they have the Gaul to say that trans people need to just "Accept themselves and be men!?"

So trans people = Males who want to chop their bits off? Women not?

How about we just accept ourselves and be ourselves? Everyone can drown at this point.

Yeah, man, don't contradict yourself.

The happiest year of my life, more true and more free than all the others, has started the day I ran down to the clinic and picked up my estrogen.

No, those days conformed with your wishes and what you think is happy. You wanted it so much that it became you... for good or for bad - of course, you, yourself, will say it's good.

I've never been more proud of myself or more happy to be alive or been more pleased with my body or my soul or life in general. I got my emotions, and my smile, and my future back. And it was not a minute too soon, People are going to see just how strong we really are. Trans girls have always had a place in the temple, and a place at the side of gods and kings, and queens.

[citations needed]
They also were strong Vikings and in Hitler's Youth, as well, yeah? (I'm waiting for those to be "new discoveries"!)

Transgenders are the mix between Hermes and aphrodite. We are strong and fast fighters, with sharp minds and a thirst for knowledge.

All based on "your" oestrogen, which you had to get from synthetically-produced manufactories... instead of from Nature. Yeah, I believe you!

And we have the sensuality and tender beauty of aphrodite. But a deep seated insecurity and fear of never being enough, that causes us to lash out.

Oh, but nothing from Hermes, the big, old, ugly, smelly, hairy man? Dang, I nearly didn't notice you ignored him through your deliberate ignoring of him.

Meteor is an obvious example.

There's nothing obvious. Meteor is a username online which we see; the Physical, Spiritual, Mental, Psychological person behind the Meteor username is what we cannot see. It's nothing obvious at all.

But the legends explain this.

How do the legends (which?) explain Meteor is an obvious example? :?

It's our Satanic nature pushing us forward to be more beautiful, more Purr more worthy.

Is it? That you have to go to pharmaceutical manufactories to get "your" oestrogen, instead of Nature - Spirituality?

more Purr

?

Satan made us this way, it seems insane to normal people but our minds are simply different than yours.

If Satan did, then fine; otherwise [citation needed].

It's a crime against nature, and as far as I'm concerned a crime against the Gods and their creations to force us to be what we aren't.

We can't force anyone to do or be anything. You are the one who said you went to get "your" oestrogen, which was not Natrual. You're trying to be something you are not. The Mind, Soul and Body all affect each other.

Until humanity gets a clue, they will be deprived of our gifts to them, and we will be deprived of our bodies, souls, and lives.

It's amazing you make these claims, without citations - including what "gifts" these "will" be.

The reptillians make another big profit and remove a powerful piece from the board.

?

Just wait a little bit longer tranny, have you tried football? Have you tried testosterone replacement therapy? Have you tried hypnosis? Have you tried electric shock therapy? Maybe you just weren't raised right, you should just be a proud faggot instead, for God's sake anything is better than being what you are!

Faggots are meatballs made from minced off-cuts and offal, especially pork (traditionally pig's heart, liver, and fatty belly meat or bacon) together with herbs for flavouring and sometimes added bread crumbs. I seriously doubt you are a food. There's nothing wrong with being gay; "changing" your sex will not make you be straight.

Today they just demand to remove Trannies, tomorrow it's gays, then it's women, then it's dancers, singers, painters, then philosophers and then free warriors and heroes.

Yeh! That's going to happen!

Then they demand the heads of the non believers, then they demand your daughters for their bedchamber, and your sons for their army.

Did you forget that you are not in a mosque while typing your reply here...

Then they demand all your goods as taxes and they will ration out the bare necessities back to you.

...or a church...

Then they control any form of learning to weaken the mind and soul.

...or commjewnism?

Just a little bit more and your jewish master will be so pleased little goyim.

Yeah, you "change sex" by getting "your" oestrogen from a pharmaceutical manufactory, instead of having what Nature gave you.

Just take the first step goy, all we want is the nasty transgenders, they love the Gods too much. Sell them out you don't need them! . your eyes aswell son, we won't be needing those either. now go be a good lamb for your lord.

Oh, you're singing. OK. switches off*

Everyone is acting like they get paid bully trans girls into repressing.

?

They think they are doing some good service to humanity and saving lives, like some catholic priest that saves a teenage boy from sinning with a woman by raping him in the confession booth instead.

Yeah, you're being raped virtually, over the Internet waves.

Great job everyone, you really saved the passive homosexual from dressing up like a girl and ruining the entirety of all human civilization. You're such a hero.

Yeh! Lol. You're doing a great service for trans-people here! Great work!

"Just learn to accept yourself and heal from your trauma that us bigots gave to you for not being maaan enough, so that you can heal and become a maaaaan again. You were always just a maaaan, and you just need to heal from the trauma that made you believe you weren't a maaaaan. Just accept love into your heart and be a maaaaan you can't change what you are because I said so and I'm right because nature dictates maaaan"

Yeah, that's precisely what has been said. You hear what you want to hear. Enjoy!

So you were born with having wayyy too much oestrogen in the womb, yet you still "need" to go to get some oestrogen from pharmaceutical manufactories? Like, dude... no wonder - you imbalanced yourself into imbecility!

*that's Engish for tuning-out

And it costs 30 bucks a month without insurance...

That's better than free Spirituality?

bite me

Henu the Great - please don't. You might catch something.

A boy reaches sexual maturity between the ages of 11-14. We can make our own choices at that point. What you say is irrelevant.

Right! So - you only want to "change sex" because it is a sexual interest to you. OK.

 

[FancyMancy]

...

I can't reply now. Please do me a favour? Ping me so I don't lose where I am? (You don't have to; I just feel like being lazy! )

 

[Jack]

So if I leave, you'll cry; and if I don't leave, others will cry about it. In other words, nothing changes either way, and my presence here seems all the more irrelevant. However, you are indeed my favourite. Does that mean your tears would weigh more? Could it be that they actually consist of deuterium oxide? Intriguing. I'll consider sticking around just a bit longer, at least to reply to you.

I was thinking more dihydrogen monoxide. It's dangerous, though - it mutates DNA; denatures proteins; disrupts cell membranes; alters critical neurotransmitters chemically; is found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol... That shit is dangerous and poisonous. Meh to others whingeing if you stay. Be a rebel and revel in the fact that you have power over them. They are bothered about you; ask them if they want your autograph, and charge them for it! :twisted:

My point is that distancing myself would probably ease the tension, and afterwards I can just deal with my own problems in private. It's not like I would leave my spiritual practices behind me just because I'm not here; those are too important to me.

I don't know what the tension is you're referring to. From what I can tell, from what I have seen, things seem fine.

I'm able to see that your attitude towards this is much more sensible and healthy than mine in the first place.

'Twasn't always so. The Internet used to be my life, for a time. In one way or another, being a 'keyboard warrior' and taking things online way too seriously, when it's just meh actually.

Can you imagine a blind person who spent their whole life coping with their inability to see? They imagined what the world around them might look like, used this imagination as a helpful construct to traverse reality more easily, and took pride in how well they were able to function in life despite it. Then, suddenly, thanks to a surgery, they're able to see. No matter how accurate their imagination was, don't you think they would feel overwhelmed? And perhaps, a bit shy?

Maybe. Some would revel in it and want to go out and see everything. They'd saturate themselves in it, and I would think that their dreams - both night-time sleeping, and also aspirations - would be very different.

I'm able to talk about these things so openly, because it concerns things that I hate, that I want to rant about and get off my chest; as well as ideas I've wanted to bring into reality for who knows how many years, or lifetimes. However, if I actually go through with this... then my ideas, and my hatred, and the way I imagined things would be, none of that would have any meaning anymore in the face of the reality I would be directly confronted with.

Maybe that's why fantasies are fantasies, and not realities.

Most likely, despite having become such a talkative, somewhat detached person over the course of my life... suddenly, even I would be too shy to talk about it anymore. I mean, it's my body after all, right?

No-one can force you to say things about anything. You could just as easily, if not easier, stop talking about "sex change" things, and just talk about anything else. If anyone mentions it or replies to an existing post, you can ignore it or tell them you don't talk/don't want to talk about it. To be honest, I think you think this is a bigger problem than it is; to me, it doesn't seem like a problem at all. Just ignore it, don't talk about it, and go on with other things instead. You may still have a bit, some, or a lot of things to get off your chest, etc., but you could just quietly not talk about this anymore, or not for much longer, then that will be that, and you continue on with other things.

But even if it wasn't for that, I'm worried about the consequences reading about it may have for others. Even if I simply state the truth, knowledge can be harmful and dangerous if it's applied incorrectly. Even if I add like 5 disclaimers, people who consider this topic important for themselves might still try to learn from my experience, since there's not that much other information to pick from when it comes to this topic in the context of spirituality.

You cannot be responsible for others. They choose to do things themselves. People have to make their own mistakes - that is not your responsibility; it is theirs, so they can (hopefully) learn.

The error in that, is that my experiences are a direct result of my own specific circumstances; and the experiences other people might have, can be entirely different. In other words: I think the information provided by my experience is completely irrelevant to anyone, due to the extent of individual differences present in such situations; and yet, some people might convince themselves that it's relevant to them, and use that as a reason to justify making poorly thought-out decisions. I think that would be horrible.

Sorry in advance for downplaying this and undermining it and belittling it, etc... but - "If! If!" If wishes were fishes, the World would be an ocean - but that's not the case now, is it? If I had a billion pounds, or if I were this much different, or if I did this or if I did that... If I could turn back time... If, if, if. Why not When, When, When? Getting on with things, and getting better. People might see your posts and use that - regardless of what you mention - as validation; like I said, about confirmation bias, to continue with doing things about having a "sex change", no matter how much you say, warn or disclaim. People have been taught, over the centuries, repeatedly to be stubborn and intractable, through multiple lives. You can't save them; only they can choose to be saved.

When I asked if I could give you closure, I didn't mean that in a literal sense. Rather, what I meant is: do you really think it would be for the best if this information is publicly revealed, no matter how dangerous it might be? Do you value knowledge regardless of its merit? Is that... just to satisfy your curiosity, no matter who might get hurt as a result? Or is there more to it?

No, I'm just trying to ease things a bit. It's not surprising it doesn't come through well in text. People might be nosey and want to know what happened, but it's your personal life, so you shouldn't share the outcome; unless, perhaps, you want or need to.

I do mean you, actually. But since you were taking it as a compliment either way, I suppose I didn't have to point that out.

Lol. "Normal" is Boring. (Forgive me for this, but) wHaT iS "nOrMal"? Lol.

I had a recurring nightmare...

You might ignore this, because you said you don't want to talk about it. I still don't understand how someone in a dream forcing themselves onto you, to "try and force you to accept being Male"; someone else being a faker, poser, user online; or others in life all equal why you believe you should be Female. Everything in this jew World is hyped up to extremes, so just being who and what we actually are is not easy, as if we're being bounced around like a pinball in a pinball machine, or tossed around like a ragdoll. If you're a feminine Male, then so what? You're a feminine Male. It seems as if you have to wear the correct emo or chav or skater clothes because you seem a bit emo or chav or skater. By that, I mean thinking you have to have a "sex change" because you might be a bit feminine as a Male. Meh. Be a feminine Male. If the meditations help you to be balanced in the future, which surely they will, then that's what's going to happen. I doubt you will do what I am about to say, but maybe 1 day per week be deliberately-over-the-top-ly masculine; another day per week be deliberately-over-the-top-ly feminine; the other 5 days per week, just be. You won't like some of it or all of it, but the more you do it, over time, the more you'll get used to it... Then it won't seem as important to you; you won't be bothered, or perhaps care, anymore.

...while I sometimes wasn't assertive enough to stand up for myself in the past, nowadays, I won't tolerate anyone forcing anything I don't want on me.

After all of the - you could say - reverse-psychology being forced upon you had worked. "Say 'No' to teenage Children, and they'll rebel; so instead, play it cool; or do the opposite" sort of thing.

Each time he compliments me, I like to think that it cancels out one of the insults people have hurled at me. If I keep going like this, eventually it'll break even, and then maybe my self-esteem will become positive.

Being selfish, I refer to the copper, silver, gold... coins again. It seems like you have employed that already. Like when christians say "the more I think about it, the more i ReAlIsE that there must have been a creator" in that - going back and back and back, that everything must have been created, ME: "OK, but who created 'god'?" CHRISTIANS: "'he' was just there". so go back and back and back... but stop there? Likewise with you - your partner's compliments cancel-out one insult from before; why stop there? Nature made you Male, yes?

I know you said you were told that you shouldn't mention these things, but since you have - why do you talk about them? Do you want an opinion of, or a knowledgable SS user or staff member to validate and confirm that you're OK to have a "sex change" operation? It's your life, your Soul, your Body, your Mind... and no-one else will be responsible for your actions, but you still want to, and intend to, go through with it?

It's true that this behaviour reinforces my feelings, and that's why I called it escapism. That said, the difference in how I was treated as a boy, and how I am treated now, is blatant and immense. Don't you think that means my feelings are correct, perhaps?

Nature made you Male. It's as simple a that. Feelings don't change what's what. Some ignorant individuals think, feel, believe Satan is evil, but those thoughts, feelings, beliefs don't change the fact that Satan is not evil.

I don't think they're correct, personally. But does that mean they're wrong? I don't think they're wrong, either. Is it not simply an observation of cause and effect? I can feel frustrated, angry even, that it came to this. But I don't see my error. I don't understand what I did wrong, or what I'm doing wrong; but that doesn't stop people from insulting me. Is the reason that they're insulting me, not simply that I wasn't born female? After all, I've been insulted so much both before and after my decision to change. If that's the case, then doesn't it make sense that I feel such an overwhelming urge to destroy the evidence?

Running away. One can curl up, roll over and die, or they can defy convention and stay who they are, regardless of what other ignorant, uncaring, irrelevant people want. You want to feel better because others were mean to you. Some say "repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth", attributed to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels. Literally, lies can't be truth, but people's perceptions, actions, beliefs, behaviours... would change, to conform to lies. Sorry, Meteor, but you're a conformist. A dream upset you by trying to force you to be a Boy, but real-life individuals complimented you about looking like a Girl. Sorry, but you need a long holiday from yourself for a while and clear your head.

Excuses don't change whether things are right or wrong, though; that's something I can only judge by the consequences of my actions. I suppose that's one of the merits of spiritual advancement: to know the consequences of one's actions beforehand.

Do you hope, that just in case the hospital will keep your Male bits in frozen storage, so that you can have them reattached later?! That won't happen. Instead, they'll either be sold to a jew to eat(?!) or put into vaccines, sold as dog food, sold as "processed" meat (soylent) or just incinerated. What a waste - and a disgusting one at that.

You're right that things don't change overnight, and I suppose I was really just bothered that I couldn't figure out how to take even a single step towards overcoming my fears.

Maybe because they're not "your" fears! Stop claiming them! Stop accepting them! Don't hold them tightly after your partner falls asleep at night; instead, dump them! "My fears", no wonder...

It feels like everything I tried the past two years, even when I thought I was really feeling up to it, just made things even worse instead, and that was very demoralising for me. I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but I took note of your suggestions, thank you. I think I should be more careful not to bite off more than I can chew at once.

You've been so used to what has been placed upon you for so long, that anything else is difficult and is uncomfortable and different, foreign, alien... etc. Keep 'wearing' those things, and you'll get used to them. Adaptation. The Mind is stubborn, but the more things are done, the more the Mind (eventually) adapts/conforms. I am far from any form of respectable and trustworthy Astrologist, but from what I think I understand, slightly, the energies of the Planet Neptune are so fecking difficult to sublimate (modify, change). (I just checked Azazel's Astrology, and I remembered it correctly! ^^) I would suggest that you have a bitchtard of a Neptune placement somewhere, which needs to be overcome. Obviously and of course - don't share any of your Astrology details. (That is more or less the extent of my... "advice" or "help"... regarding Astrology in this context.)

Maybe I am wasting my time? Like was mentioned in a post earlier. If so, then oh, well. Maybe I am not. Maybe someone else, or other individuals, could take notice and realise things.

thank you

I hope that I help. If anything I say helps and is beneficial, for the better, then it is worth it.

It was difficult for me to even type that paragraph about my nightmares, and afterwards it was difficult to focus on meditation, and I was in a terrible mood for the rest of the day and most of the day after as well. However, being unable to take my mind off it gave me a chance to reflect on it for a change, and I think that's for the best, since it was clearly affecting me a lot more than I realised before.

I looked up if nightmares can cause trauma. A psychologist online called such a question ironic, explaining that nightmares tend to be a representation of existing trauma and emotional strain, usually metaphorical. However, they can exacerbate such issues and accelerate the development of negative symptoms from trauma, such as PTSD.

During puberty, I felt like I was losing myself. I wanted to cling to my innocence, hence why I had a childlike body in the nightmare; but no matter how I tried to resist it, I was powerless against the changes to my mind and body, hence why my resistance was futile. No matter how much I hated it, I was stripped of my innocence, hence why I was mocked for the way my body reacted. The woman in the nightmare was very big (both taller and more voluptuous than anyone I've ever seen in real life) and strong enough to completely overpower me; meanwhile I was weak, small and pathetic. I think this represented my insecurity in myself, not specifically as a boy or a girl, but rather, as a person. At the same time, I was struggling to come to terms with being into guys, hence why I was berated for not enjoying it (I felt like I should be into girls "like a normal boy", and had occasionally wondered if I would be able to enjoy it "like a normal boy" if it was forced on me). While everything combined made for a rather horrifying experience, I don't feel so overwhelmed anymore after taking it apart into the individual components.

But if all those components are considered individually, then it's apparent that it doesn't really have much to do with gender. Hypothetically, if I was born female, I could've still been ostracised by my friends for other reasons. I would've likely been scolded more for my tendency to talk with my fists, and I'd have felt constricted by that as my need for niceness would've been satisfied, but my need for strife neglected. During puberty, I would be curious about, yet simultaneously frightened by sex (just as I was as a boy), and might've had such nightmares about a man instead, since that's what would be expected of me as a girl. And if I had still met that creep on the internet, he would've tried to make me accept being a girl, and treated me as an object as a girl, rather than a boy. It doesn't seem unreasonable to think that my feelings might've ended up completely in reverse, and perhaps I would've even developed a preference for women (for a multitude of psychological reasons, as well as hormonal if I used testosterone injections), which I would then use to justify my feelings in the same heteronormative, conformist manner I do now.

Sometimes, I like to imagine a world with only men. Arguments would be solved by wrestling, while stating the logical errors in each other's beliefs to try to make each other falter; only those with sound reason, or great discipline and true dedication to their convictions, could maintain the will to fight, which they would back up with their physical prowess. Superstition would succumb to the muscles of the wise, and any and all endeavours of humanity would be performed with utmost efficiency. Becoming the strongest and healthiest one can be would be encouraged, but even if some men are naturally a bit weaker, they would still be taken under the wing of a stronger man and protected and guided towards developing themselves the best they can in spite of that.

Before I fell in love with my fiancé, I also occasionally liked to imagine a world with only women. In the absence of men, there would no longer be such an obsession with looking young and beautiful. Society would be led by wise elders with a strong intuition, in touch with nature and spirituality. Society might be less structured, but the strong sense of unity would encourage people to cooperate and work together for the good of the community, each doing what they're best suited for within the group. There would be heavy focus on individuality, with works of art being so diverse that there would be communities within communities. In times of prosperity, there would be many vibrant festivals to express gratitude for all the wonderful and beautiful things in life.

Because there is "male" and "female", there is disparity, and disparity has always been difficult for me to come to terms with. In a world in which everyone could change their body exactly to their liking, any disparity that remains is completely people's own responsibility, and therefore, it's fair; even so, I think that would be horrible, as it would undoubtedly bring out the worst in people, and it would halt any progress in solving societal issues that cause some people to want to change themselves to an unreasonable extent in the first place. But those societal issues aren't something I can do anything about on an individual level, and that's why changing myself just to adapt to my whims and circumstances seems to be more effective in improving my well-being than any other option: it gives me a sense of control over my life. I used to feel like it's unfair that I wasn't born female, and that I have to go to such lengths just to feel comfortable with my own body and my role in relation to others; but then I realised that to change in this manner, is my wish and my decision, and therefore, it's only fair that I do whatever it takes. That fairness has become something I treasure.

Even if anyone here told me that it's fine for me to do these things, I wouldn't believe them, since my Guardian told me to be conscious of the risks I'm taking. That's why I'll never believe anyone who doesn't have any practical, real life experience with these things; and all the information, no matter how positive or negative or frightening, I will absorb so that I can optimise the probability of making a decision I'll be glad about. Jack likes to pontificate sometimes about his proposed solutions to gender dysphoria, but I highly doubt he's helped even a single individual actually overcome it. I've helped several people help themselves to overcome it, either partially or completely: not with conversion therapy or antipsychotic medication, but rather, by treating them with patience and sympathy, and encouraging them to face their feelings without bias, and in some cases, they were able to make peace with themselves without going any further than they already did, and I'm happy for them. Many of such people aren't trying to be a nuisance to anyone, but rather the contrary, and the majority of the population has never even met anyone like that in real life since they're so rare. It's just getting a lot of attention now since it's the latest ideology war, despite concerning an even smaller minority than homosexuals.

While I'm unsure if it was a serious or a joke, I recently read a rant written by a feminist. She said that transgenderism is just the latest strategy of men to gain back power and "oppress women". First they will take their jobs and scholarships, that were supposed to be reserved for women. And then, with the "unmatchable beauty standard" that can only be achieved with all the most expensive surgeries and perfectly controlled hormone levels, transgenders would seduce women's husbands, stealing their love, and reducing the role of women to bearing children on the side just for them to be raised by those men instead.

Can you imagine less than 0.1% of the population stealing the jobs, scholarships, and husbands of half the population? I know I have a pretty high libido and all, but I don't think even I can handle a harem consisting of several hundred men, even if I wanted to...

It's just so ridiculous. What I'm doing isn't such a crime as some people make it out to be; they're just obsessed. And then there's people like Jrvan, who said I should be put into a straightjacket "for my own good". Does he realise how being locked up in a straightjacket would affect a person's mental and physical health, and that it wouldn't really solve anything? It seems like he's reflected on that mentality by now, and I know not everyone thinks like that, but it seems like a lot of people just don't want to find out that others are doing things they dislike or disapprove of, regardless of the consequences refraining from those things would have.

I dislike alcohol, and try to avoid being around drunk people these days; but even so, I know that my older brother developed amazing social skills specifically because alcohol helped him open up and learn to talk to people more deeply, a tool which eventually helped him succeed in getting his life together: getting a girlfriend, buying a house, having his first daughter. It also helped to ease the suffering when he was at his lowest. If not for his former alcoholism, I might not have a brother anymore. Since I realised that, I can no longer judge people for doing things I think are wrong, because for all I know, it might be just what they need to make it through the situation they're in. Isn't that what meditation is for, though? Well, he did meditate. But that alone wasn't enough to save him.

Your statement that I think this is a bigger problem than it really is, opened my eyes. My issues are real (even if I understand them so little that I come up with a completely different explanation every week; although perhaps that has less to do with not understanding it, and more with it being a complicated issue that's influenced by many different factors), and my decisions will impact my life in significant ways, and obviously, even if my decisions do help my mental health in one way or another, I should still strive to go even further beyond than that in terms of making peace with myself, through meditation and yoga. But the endless discussions about it are little more than a bunch of pointless, overblown internet drama.

Most likely, my reason for participating is mainly to let out some stress while waiting for my turn for the surgery, which has been delayed by more than a year due to the situation with covid (although in hindsight that's for the best, since in the past year I found some crucial information, without which I'd have gotten some important details wrong, leading to regret as I would most likely have been too tight to actually have sex in that scenario). However, this often just causes more stress, leading to a vicious cycle.

As for "bitchtard" placements in my astrology as you put it, I have several, and that includes Neptune as well. It represents all of the interconnected issues in an obnoxiously accurate manner, to the point that it almost feels like even my chart is trying to mock me. However, it's unclear what I'm supposed to do about this. If a person's chart describes their nature, then I could use this to justify my conflicted feelings as being a part of my nature, like: "Look, it's all written in the stars! This is simply how I am! I can't help these feelings!" On the other hand, if it represents karma, then, like, freeing myself would be good, right? But that's where another layer of confusion comes in: every single one of the traumatic experiences I had in this life that caused friction with my gender, was in one way or another caused by me already being at odds with my gender prior to that. So, if it was there in the first place, then was it nature? But these issues were clearly exacerbated throughout my life by the experiences I had. Then what about karma from past lives, is that also "nature"? And what about my biological nature (having an extra X chromosome), is that also due to karma? If I free myself from the placements in my chart, does that mean I'm resolving my karma, or am I erasing my true nature? I don't want to lose myself.

As for me being a conformist, that's absolutely correct. That much should be obvious from the time I put my hair in a ponytail when I was 7 years old and went to school feeling genuinely excited to show off my new hairstyle, only to undo it and hide for several hours when I saw the looks on people's faces, then pretend nothing happened. I thought being seen as normal was far more important to me than doing what I liked. But I suppose even a conformist like me can have a rebellious phase, although this phase has a more specific name, and I think it's... "Adolescence." I've been in it for an unusually long time, since there's so much for me to work through.

Sooner or later, I'll have to grow up and become a man or a woman, or maybe both. But more important than what I become, is that I want to be someone that feels like "me". To feel at home in my own being, is perhaps my deepest desire. Only I can make that happen.


You've convinced me to stick around, and also to stop talking about it. I don't fully understand why you'd want me to stay, though.

Transgenders aren't a significant part of society to warrant help. Infact no one in society cares for them (and they shouldn't) . Women's rights are much more important than Transgenders right to choose and I 100 % support the TERF feminists views on this.

Women are being Redpilled by the day on the Transgender issue and many of them are very angry inside. Most women would support removing all Transgenders from women's spaces.

Men don't really care about Transgenders because they don't really affect men's lives that much. However women on principle are affected because the status of womanhood has been stolen by Transgenders and Women have been reduced to Birthing Bodies.

Women are angry because of this because their position in society is threatened. Any Feminine man can start taking hormones and call themselves a woman and anyone who says anything is fired from their job.

A lot of Women are forced to go along with this because they have no other choice. But Women will support putting all these mentally ill sick people in mental institutions given they have their voice back.

Transgenders are celebrated by Jews because Jews like to celebrate defiling Human Nature and a defiance to the Natural Order. They only have their special privileges because of the Jews.

Once the Jews are gone ,who will protect these Transgenders who don't matter as a population ? We know the overwhelming majority of women absolutely hate Transgenders and Women can hold grudges against others for too long than men can.

After Jews are removed from society and legitimate Female voices start getting amplified demanding an end to all Transgender quotas and privileges and their recognition as Women. Do you think the men will object ?

And once that has been completed what will be next , I wonder ? It's going to be either Treatment or Ostracization . Listen ,I don't know how to treat Transgenders. My best guess is that Deep Hypnosis self can eliminate the false identity and ground the person in their original identity. We need Test and Randomized trials to check that out.

But honestly Transgender issues are at the last of ALL of society's issue. Most of Society sees them as the Enemy created by the jews. I don't think all Transgenders deserve to be labeled as the enemy. But I don't control society's perceptions.

Most people in society don't feel the same liberal attitude as I do ,around the western world. Once they are done with the Jews ,they will certainly look by process of deduction for Groups that have gotten unfair advantages because of the Jews and cone for them. Immigrants and then Transgenders.

Are the Transgenders going to be treated like they are in China or the Islamic World where they fear for their lives or just ostracised by society when they refuse to change. Who knows. Definitely ALL hormonal treatments for Sex Changes will be stopped for ALL ages.

What we do know is that people are waiting for the Jews to lose their power in society so that they can take power instead. And that Violent Retribution is on their minds.

 

[Henu the Great]

I have recently made some friends like us, and the level of closeness Is unreal. We know eachothers feelings, fears, dreams, and we are animated by the same spirit. The word sister rolls off the tongue.

we have every right to come here and get genuine help. I'm sick of reading the vile messages from supposed "brothers".

We were made to be here by satan himself, all the legends point to this fact. We are not a scapegoat or a dead horse to beat. I can't sit here 24/7 to make sure newbies aren't getting turned away over some bigotry.

I actually meditate, unlike some retards who shit up this place all day with their Hebrew opinions. I've got important stuff to do and it's not fair for anyone to have to deal with this. Is the most powerful Goddess in the galaxy not the patron of the enarie? Are we not created by Satan himself according to the legends?

We are, and Meteor you've got to keep your head on your shoulders, you need to stop making these threads about transgenders. It's bad optics for us, keep it on the down low for a while please? When we get our serpents up we will get the recognition we need. Until then just cool it. I'm every bit as passionate as you about it. But the world is having actual problems and we need to focus. Let's stop causing trouble.

The irony is real. Hebrew opinions? :lol: You are the one who spread the message of hormonal ingestion for minors. Sure they could be ready to reproduce when you look at it at like that, but that is not the whole truth when we look at Humans and how we react to such things.

The way I see is that you are only allowed to post because it would less of a nuisance to remember you as kosher hormon pusher than to keep banning you over and over for what you are and what you try to do.

 

[Aquarius]

It's bad optics for us, keep it on the down low for a while please?

Yes please, keep the forum clean. Thx

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

This is not the roman legion, nobody should have to reach the age of 20 before they are allowed to make choices with their body.

A boy reaches sexual maturity between the ages of 11-14. We can make our own choices at that point. What you say is irrelevant. The jews don't rule the human soul, and the dark age misery that we had to deal with is no more.

Witches are free, women are free,transgenders are free. We make our own decisions now. To hell with your cuckold "minors" talk.

The age of concent for marriage in America is 14 with parental approval. These minors you are talking about are fully fledged human beings with individual needs and feelings. Get a grip

14 year old teens are hardly mature at all. Even more so in this age.
They act like overgrown children entitled to anything, think they are great and can do anything with 0 responsibilities nor the life experience needed to make wise decisions.

Anyone who does not fit the description above is a total rarity.

Also many adults still exhibit this childish behavior.

To say that a 14 year old has no responsibilities is a huge lie. We have all the same level of responsibility we just don't have any freedom. "Oh it's so hard being the cashier at walmart and sending the money to the landlord and going grocery shopping all by myself!

Adulthood is a million times more simple, we have already made our choices.

When I was 14 I wanted to surpass Satan and become the ruler of the galaxy. I would think "How would Satan feel when I get stronger than him, would he be mad?" Oh well better just find out when I get there.

The willpower and belief in oneself that a 14 year old possesses is probably the most holy thing In all human existence. Don't act like being a hopeless defeated old jerk is going to give you more wisdom.

Life is about taking risks and having fun. Wisdom is about using knowledge to win. What's the point in gaining all this life experience if all you experience in life is regret.

Anyways. I'm sure you are VERY old and very smart so I'll leave it up to make the kids cry...wait an Olympian second. I didn't even consider the adulthood responsibilities centered around all the ways you can make children cry.

A sacred duty indeed

This is what the typical entitled cocky brat would say. You're a teen a best.

Its not just rent that you have to pay, or the groceries. Its the electricity that you so fondly make use of, rambling all this to me, the healthcare that you *will* need if you get injured or whatever. The dentist, car insurance, and so on and so on.

You have to clean the entire house by yourself. The dishes aren't going to do themselves ya know.

"Life will be easier as an adult." well yes in some ways, but you don't have to face yourself losing the roof above your head, ending up on the street, or having worries about getting into debt and having to pay that off.

Also a 14 year old is not going to get any kind of good job and won't be able to make ends meet.
The issue with your "father" seems like some kind of overdramatic lie. Even so, if he even said or done 1/10th of all that I'd punch him in the face and make him regret every little thing.

Whatever, anything you've said was full of toxicity anyway. No one should take anything what you say serious.

 

[WinterWarrior666]

If you mean "strange, unusual", then Satan probably thinks that they're strange and unusual. If you mean homosexuals, then He doesn't mind. I'm bisexual. Others here are bisexual or gay or straight. As long as it is consensual, then it's OK. Homosexuality has existed for thousands and thousands of years, since long before the jew and its faeces appeared here, and homosexuality exists today in thousands and thousands of species of Animal. Some would say that mixing Races, whether bi, straight or gay is OK, but Spiritually and otherwise, it is not OK. "There's no pregnancy in interracial homosexual sex", no but the Souls still intermingle with different Energies of both Races; we are to have pure, strong, healthy Souls.

You know I never really got this, what stops someone from having interracial sex and then either extensive cleaning or programming an AOP to block out the energy mixing as a whole?

 

[Aquarius]

If you mean "strange, unusual", then Satan probably thinks that they're strange and unusual. If you mean homosexuals, then He doesn't mind. I'm bisexual. Others here are bisexual or gay or straight. As long as it is consensual, then it's OK. Homosexuality has existed for thousands and thousands of years, since long before the jew and its faeces appeared here, and homosexuality exists today in thousands and thousands of species of Animal. Some would say that mixing Races, whether bi, straight or gay is OK, but Spiritually and otherwise, it is not OK. "There's no pregnancy in interracial homosexual sex", no but the Souls still intermingle with different Energies of both Races; we are to have pure, strong, healthy Souls.

You know I never really got this, what stops someone from having interracial sex and then either extensive cleaning or programming an AOP to block out the energy mixing as a whole?

Because it's an innatural act that goes against nature herself, you can remove the energies you mixed with the other person, but you can't remove the fact that you consciously did something that is extremely retarded and against nature.

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

If you mean "strange, unusual", then Satan probably thinks that they're strange and unusual. If you mean homosexuals, then He doesn't mind. I'm bisexual. Others here are bisexual or gay or straight. As long as it is consensual, then it's OK. Homosexuality has existed for thousands and thousands of years, since long before the jew and its faeces appeared here, and homosexuality exists today in thousands and thousands of species of Animal. Some would say that mixing Races, whether bi, straight or gay is OK, but Spiritually and otherwise, it is not OK. "There's no pregnancy in interracial homosexual sex", no but the Souls still intermingle with different Energies of both Races; we are to have pure, strong, healthy Souls.

You know I never really got this, what stops someone from having interracial sex and then either extensive cleaning or programming an AOP to block out the energy mixing as a whole?

Because it changes you on the physical. If done enough you start looking yourself like some racemixed person...

Also that's wasting A LOT of time for just a single moment of fun or bliss. Also, having sex connects you deeply on a spiritual level. You CANNOT block that.

Honestly why would you even consider this?????

 

[WinterWarrior666]

If you mean "strange, unusual", then Satan probably thinks that they're strange and unusual. If you mean homosexuals, then He doesn't mind. I'm bisexual. Others here are bisexual or gay or straight. As long as it is consensual, then it's OK. Homosexuality has existed for thousands and thousands of years, since long before the jew and its faeces appeared here, and homosexuality exists today in thousands and thousands of species of Animal. Some would say that mixing Races, whether bi, straight or gay is OK, but Spiritually and otherwise, it is not OK. "There's no pregnancy in interracial homosexual sex", no but the Souls still intermingle with different Energies of both Races; we are to have pure, strong, healthy Souls.

You know I never really got this, what stops someone from having interracial sex and then either extensive cleaning or programming an AOP to block out the energy mixing as a whole?

Because it changes you on the physical. If done enough you start looking yourself like some racemixed person...

Also that's wasting A LOT of time for just a single moment of fun or bliss. Also, having sex connects you deeply on a spiritual level. You CANNOT block that.

Honestly why would you even consider this?????

Oh I've never considered it, I just found it strange so much emphasis was put on not doing that even outside of the reproductive factor when it seemed like something that can just be put in the "clean your soul after" bucket, similar to what is done when performing black magic.

The physical changing bit sounds hilariously bizzare though, does this mean people who have sex often will begin to take on physical features of the other? Or does that only result from a sexual exchange of radically different souls? (Aka not of the same race?)