So my name is Justice, Im a male, Im sixteen years old and I dedicated myself three years ago about a month after becoming a Satanist. I have a friend who became a satanist but never dedicated.
When we first began our goal was to befriend Father Satan and Amon. I met Satan and asked if we could make contact with Amon. I cant remember why, it was a long time ago. So anyways, I invoked him 3 times. Again I dont remember what discussed but I do remember each time being very short. After about 3 or 4 months of meditation I stopped and drifted from Satan. Dont get me wrong I considered myself a Satanist but never practiced it...
About 5 months agos I started having (very) short conversations with Father on the bus ride to school. About 2 months ago I tried trancing for the first time in years. About a month ago I started doing void meditation and it seemed to work best if I focused into my eyes into my full body mirror. I seen an intense fog and my vision start to get wavy. I seen colors that turned into faces that would engulf mine. This was the best sign that all of this wasnt fake.
I did everything with true belief but after I would think "When I 'heard' those voices, it feels like it was me thinking them, not Satan or any other demons." It all felt like I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear. Ive never actually heard or seen Satan or Amon, it just comes in thoughts not like Im actually hearing it like people talking. I understand THEY can communicate telepathicly but Ive also never been told anything I didnt already know... And I feel terrible for always have thought this- That Im just hearing what I want to hear.
I need help believing. I need help finding the proof I crave. I am asking a High Priest or Priestess for help. Maybe ask Satan if I AM actually speaking with him or if Im just a pretender. Then maybe tell me how to find that proof Im looking for? Idk. It would be MUCH appreciated... If I am right and I made it was in my head Id be willing to accept all of that-ALL OF THAT- If you could set me on the right path so I can ACTUALLY see and hear and feel Father and all of his demons. For the mean time Ill be meditating and trancing and void meditating (I think Im actually scrying) and trying new meditations and new magick (Just like I have been) for now.
Thank you,
~J
When we first began our goal was to befriend Father Satan and Amon. I met Satan and asked if we could make contact with Amon. I cant remember why, it was a long time ago. So anyways, I invoked him 3 times. Again I dont remember what discussed but I do remember each time being very short. After about 3 or 4 months of meditation I stopped and drifted from Satan. Dont get me wrong I considered myself a Satanist but never practiced it...
About 5 months agos I started having (very) short conversations with Father on the bus ride to school. About 2 months ago I tried trancing for the first time in years. About a month ago I started doing void meditation and it seemed to work best if I focused into my eyes into my full body mirror. I seen an intense fog and my vision start to get wavy. I seen colors that turned into faces that would engulf mine. This was the best sign that all of this wasnt fake.
I did everything with true belief but after I would think "When I 'heard' those voices, it feels like it was me thinking them, not Satan or any other demons." It all felt like I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear. Ive never actually heard or seen Satan or Amon, it just comes in thoughts not like Im actually hearing it like people talking. I understand THEY can communicate telepathicly but Ive also never been told anything I didnt already know... And I feel terrible for always have thought this- That Im just hearing what I want to hear.
I need help believing. I need help finding the proof I crave. I am asking a High Priest or Priestess for help. Maybe ask Satan if I AM actually speaking with him or if Im just a pretender. Then maybe tell me how to find that proof Im looking for? Idk. It would be MUCH appreciated... If I am right and I made it was in my head Id be willing to accept all of that-ALL OF THAT- If you could set me on the right path so I can ACTUALLY see and hear and feel Father and all of his demons. For the mean time Ill be meditating and trancing and void meditating (I think Im actually scrying) and trying new meditations and new magick (Just like I have been) for now.
Thank you,
~J
