How to deal with total failure?

[DarkAries]

Greetings!

This, once again, about the damned type one diabetes I have.
For the past six months, since my honeymoon phase ended, I've felt lost on the path. Like I just failed miserably, that t1d was a test of me. I did everything I could, do heal it, but it just worsened like it would to any basic human being(the fact that external medicines keep me alive still bothers me, even if not as much)! Like a cruel proof of how little I can accomplish! Since that life just feels... disappointing. Sure, its not horrible, but nothing of what I would like, just boring and painful things, where Im not always myself. If I would have been strong enough, I would have a fully working pancreas already. I know this might not be true, but it's how I feel. To put it simply, I dont really have a 'why' to live anymore. It was so severe that after I learned I failed(got my insulin dosage doubled, basically I have no natural insulin remained) I even tought overdosing insulin and just passing away. Im better now mentally, but still not too happy with the results. Before t1d, it was to reach godhood and destroy the yehuborians. After getting diagnosed, it was to prove my worth and fix my medical issue. But now? Nothing! I need something to help me find my way back.

 

[Henu the Great]

So you face a challenge, and your response is to quit? I do not understand. How is that supposed to evolve you? Before becoming a God, there are many milestones, such as advanced human and demigod, among others. Becoming an advanced human in this day and age is a feat in itself, and someone who beats diseases is surely in a good position. Try setting your sights on a five-year to ten-year period for goals instead of a one-month to ten-month period, and you might get somewhere. Near-sightedness oftentimes causes unnecessary despair. If I understood correctly, you are in your twenties, or something. It is not like death is tomorrow, and even if it is, today is the time to give it all in any case.

 

[DarkAries]

So you face a challenge, and your response is to quit? I do not understand. How is that supposed to evolve you? Before becoming a God, there are many milestones, such as advanced human and demigod, among others. Becoming an advanced human in this day and age is a feat in itself, and someone who beats diseases is surely in a good position. Try setting your sights on a five-year to ten-year period for goals instead of a one-month to ten-month period, and you might get somewhere. Near-sightedness oftentimes causes unnecessary despair. If I understood correctly, you are in your twenties, or something. It is not like death is tomorrow, and even if it is, today is the time to give it all in any case.

Correct about my age. Just after more than two years of giving all in to heal, in the medical side I achived... nothing. At all. Honeymoon phase ends, cpeptid drops, insulindepention stays. It still makes me feel like I failed, even if I see how better Ive become. But its still horrible, and I hate this condition with everything I have, and jt overall worsened the quality of my life.
I tought myself stronger, turns out Im not. How shouldnt this cause me despair?

 

[DarkAries]

So you face a challenge, and your response is to quit? I do not understand. How is that supposed to evolve you? Before becoming a God, there are many milestones, such as advanced human and demigod, among others. Becoming an advanced human in this day and age is a feat in itself, and someone who beats diseases is surely in a good position. Try setting your sights on a five-year to ten-year period for goals instead of a one-month to ten-month period, and you might get somewhere. Near-sightedness oftentimes causes unnecessary despair. If I understood correctly, you are in your twenties, or something. It is not like death is tomorrow, and even if it is, today is the time to give it all in any case.

But szre, I could aim to become advanced human in this lifetime. Still dont have a reason why this fucking t1d happened to me.

 

[hailourtruegod]

Greetings!

This, once again, about the damned type one diabetes I have.
For the past six months, since my honeymoon phase ended, I've felt lost on the path. Like I just failed miserably, that t1d was a test of me. I did everything I could, do heal it, but it just worsened like it would to any basic human being(the fact that external medicines keep me alive still bothers me, even if not as much)! Like a cruel proof of how little I can accomplish! Since that life just feels... disappointing. Sure, its not horrible, but nothing of what I would like, just boring and painful things, where Im not always myself. If I would have been strong enough, I would have a fully working pancreas already. I know this might not be true, but it's how I feel. To put it simply, I dont really have a 'why' to live anymore. It was so severe that after I learned I failed(got my insulin dosage doubled, basically I have no natural insulin remained) I even tought overdosing insulin and just passing away. Im better now mentally, but still not too happy with the results. Before t1d, it was to reach godhood and destroy the yehuborians. After getting diagnosed, it was to prove my worth and fix my medical issue. But now? Nothing! I need something to help me find my way back.

You might need to look deeper than the physical ailments. Clergy have mentioned that emotional trauma can lead to physical ailments and it can be why it takes longer to cure or the ailment seems to not go away.

From experience I can say that is true ss well.

I went the physical healing route and my life lead me to find this out on my own but with Divine influence/guidance throughout.

The vice versa makes sense as well, the ailment can cause emotional trauma and then it attaches itself to the psyche. Making the ailment "stronger". Which one can get into how it can be a self made problem sometimes if the latter happens but thats another topic.


Seeing that you said your mentality is better but this is your reaction to this matter makes me want to point out that it might be the stress/ mental strain/anguish of this lingering problem making you feel like giving up. I have been there a lot, if not most of my life, so I get it.

What helped me was getting to the bottom of the emotional part of the ailments and how it affects/affected my mindset all this time. Once I cleared that out I have been on the road to rapid pace recovery of ailments that have been part of me for decades. Even my gf is blown away at my recent transformation. It wasn't easy but here I am.


Lastly, the next step after self reevaluating (Journaling helps) would be to do purifications. That was what really was a game changer for me. Try it out.

Just don't ever give up brother. We are here for each other because that is the Law/natural way of things. Rational beings exists for one another so stay rational, and us here and the Gods will always have your back.

 

[DarkAries]

You might need to look deeper than the physical ailments. Clergy have mentioned that emotional trauma can lead to physical ailments and it can be why it takes longer to cure or the ailment seems to not go away.

From experience I can say that is true ss well.

I went the physical healing route and my life lead me to find this out on my own but with Divine influence/guidance throughout.

The vice versa makes sense as well, the ailment can cause emotional trauma and then it attaches itself to the psyche. Making the ailment "stronger". Which one can get into how it can be a self made problem sometimes if the latter happens but thats another topic.


Seeing that you said your mentality is better but this is your reaction to this matter makes me want to point out that it might be the stress/ mental strain/anguish of this lingering problem making you feel like giving up. I have been there a lot, if not most of my life, so I get it.

What helped me was getting to the bottom of the emotional part of the ailments and how it affects/affected my mindset all this time. Once I cleared that out I have been on the road to rapid pace recovery of ailments that have been part of me for decades. Even my gf is blown away at my recent transformation. It wasn't easy but here I am.


Lastly, the next step after self reevaluating (Journaling helps) would be to do purifications. That was what really was a game changer for me. Try it out.

Just don't ever give up brother. We are here for each other because that is the Law/natural way of things. Rational beings exists for one another so stay rational, and us here and the Gods will always have your back.

Thank you

Yes, the stress... Im still pretty sure the insane amount of stress I got during college caused it. Sadly Im already a very stressed, and having a condition that can spiral out of control from anything(big thanks to my doctors whos first thing to do was showing every possible horrible consecvences of uncontrolled sugar). Sadly I havent found anything, that could calm me down on the long term.

It could help, but I have no idea how to change it.

My mentality is overall better than it was, sorry for ranting this out. Im just once again in a dark period.

 

[Henu the Great]

You need a healthy outlet for your emotions, which could be many things. Impossible for us to say. But keeping the hate going without a countermeasure is not healthy at all, and plays a role where you have it harder than with another kind of attitude.

 

[DarkAries]

You need a healthy outlet for your emotions, which could be many things. Impossible for us to say. But keeping the hate going without a countermeasure is not healthy at all, and plays a role where you have it harder than with another kind of attitude.

Its difficult for me to let hatred go. I know I should, and it would only hurt me. If you have any good meditation that could work wonders(like HPS Lydia's sexual energy rebalancing) Im all ears.