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Hey! im back :-D

littlesttitan

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Joined
Mar 20, 2006
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Hey guys, im back for what seems like the 10th time and i. Well...im still not sure if im going to come here everyday. I keep trying to make promises to you guys and myself but i mostly never do anything. I get too caught up in finding something to do to get rid of some time and have some fun after my "hard day of school" i don't seem to have much willpower to stop what im doing because im totally sure its less important than "my goal" of getting stronger mentaly, spiritualy, and physicaly. All of those strengths of me are so weak and dull that they shouldnt even be called strengths, i know that i have soooooo much potential but i just fuucking waste it all by doing nothing and just forgeting about the real important things in life: LIFE ITSELF. i have no willpower, no motivation, no sense of WANT in me. I use to have a feeling of totol joy and optimism, i dont know if its me being dumb like the many on this planet that i critisize and being too mean or me being dumb in another way by letting "something bad" control me. Im stuck in a loop everyday of saying that ill do some meditations, read jos and get smarter then using my experience to help others. I really hate feeling and/or being helpless. I do feel and i really want to know that theres still a part in me that is all rational and can straighten me out but theres something in the way. Maybe im just clouded in my own hate in other things and the world that i live in...ive been trying to channel all of my emotions into positive energys and happiness but i fail with everything going on in my life affecting me. Even when i sat down, meditated on everything that makes me me and tries to center myself the best i could nothing changed long-term. Whoever you are that reads this probably dont have a clue what im talking about but if you do please help me. Im dealing with what feels like too much "stuff" and i just cant chill out about it. I know that im better than this weak little bitch that your hearing, i just need others to help me survive...if you read all this thank you and i hope the best for you and for me. I had to get all this out at once...well i love you guys!
 
I know what you're going through - I was like that last year but than I started meditating regularly (I was messing around with Ouja board & got told to meditate regularly (I probably influenced the board myself but it was a good kick in the arse)) - I made myself do it & I wouldn't go do anything else until I finished what I promised myself to do. I would write myself a schedule with times & everything + I asked a friend if I could tell her everything I did previous day (except meditations) so I kinds forced a routine in my day. Due to the lack of meditation before, my bioelectricity was so low that I came from school & laid on the bed for hours. I couldn't get myself to study, didn't even do homework and just wasted my time. Well after starting HP hooded cobra's 40 days program & getting like 15 days into it, I felt so productive! I did all homework, meditated + started drawing again. Even if it was last month of school I was able to save my grades °-°
So basically Hooded Cobra's program can be a life saver. Get yourself some kind of reward after successfully completing a day or maybe even a morning meditation section. Write down everything you did and at the end of the week read it. Take notes what you could change, make a check list and just get yourself going - once you get the momentum it'll flow easier
 
We all feel like that sometimes! We overcome it!

Just because you're young doesn't mean you're going to last forever!

Don't worry, if you don't do anything, something will happen to you - like the jooz killing you!

THINK ABOUT IT!
 
If you don't do void meditation, start there.  (Aura cleaning, aura of protection)

Now are there any outward things influencing you? Yes? Get rid of them.

If you already do quite a few things on a day and you feel like you aren't doing enough try to be a bit more satisfied.

"i just need others to help me survive"
At best this is a delusion, at worst you are an infiltrator.


Joyofsatan.org

Oh and if you haven't already do the dedication ritual.

You sound pretty new so rather than trying to focus only on your problems try to focus on the solution. Don't see the thing you are experiencing right now, but visualize what you would be doing every day. Then work towards that goal.
Also read and study the JoS website.


There is not much more what I can tell you now.
But perhaps you mighthave to do a working with runes for the willpower (make sure the sign the moon is in/it is not void moon of course), but it could also be a lack of discipline. This can be found in the natal chart.
So dude/dudette really study the website !



---In [email protected], <littlesttitan@... wrote :

Hey guys, im back for what seems like the 10th time and i. Well...im still not sure if im going to come here everyday. I keep trying to make promises to you guys and myself but i mostly never do anything. I get too caught up in finding something to do to get rid of some time and have some fun after my "hard day of school" i don't seem to have much willpower to stop what im doing because im totally sure its less important than "my goal" of getting stronger mentaly, spiritualy, and physicaly. All of those strengths of me are so weak and dull that they shouldnt even be called strengths, i know that i have soooooo much potential but i just fuucking waste it all by doing nothing and just forgeting about the real important things in life: LIFE ITSELF. i have no willpower, no motivation, no sense of WANT in me. I use to have a feeling of totol joy and optimism, i dont know if its me being dumb like the many on this planet that i critisize and being too mean or me being dumb in another way by letting "something bad" control me. Im stuck in a loop everyday of saying that ill do some meditations, read jos and get smarter then using my experience to help others. I really hate feeling and/or being helpless. I do feel and i really want to know that theres still a part in me that is all rational and can straighten me out but theres something in the way. Maybe im just clouded in my own hate in other things and the world that i live in...ive been trying to channel all of my emotions into positive energys and happiness but i fail with everything going on in my life affecting me. Even when i sat down, meditated on everything that makes me me and tries to center myself the best i could nothing changed long-term. Whoever you are that reads this probably dont have a clue what im talking about but if you do please help me. Im dealing with what feels like too much "stuff" and i just cant chill out about it. I know that im better than this weak little bitch that your hearing, i just need others to help me survive...if you read all this thank you and i hope the best for you and for me. I had to get all this out at once...well i love you guys!
 
Thank you so much! Even though some of the stuff you said i already did and know you did help me, i respect you for giving me more than what others wrote (sorry to the other people who replied to me) and out of that respect i will do my best for you. As i said what i really need is some motivation^^
 
I confess, I did not read your original post, so I am unsure as to
your exact situation. But let me just say this, and I do notspeak out
of harshness, not at all, I am merely attempting to give you
perspective. just bear with me, please, for I speak out of love, for
you are of the Satanic Brethren. You need to consider the bigger
picture here, my friend! Regardless of if you are, or are not, in the
groups, war is brewing! The jews and the malign enemy angels and
suchlike, hate us, and seek our ruin! If you do not help fight them,
you are, in a word, adding to the problem. Again, not meaning to be
harsh, but these are the facts, Brother. This is deadly serious! We
are in a war here, and we need serious soldiers in the trenches
fighting! Our Father desires warriors, not wishy-washy, lukewarm
people! Do you love Satan? Do you have love and respect for the one
who gave you life, your breath, your very soul? If not for Father
Satan and our other beloved Gods, you would not be here right now! you
would either be enslaved by jews and angels, or you'd be dead. But
thanks to him, you *are* here, my brother! You have an oppurtunity to
get stronger, and eventually to ascend, and become as Father is! And
you also have an opportunity to strike back against our hated enemies!
For they are the enemies of mankind entire. Will you hear the call, or
sit on the side lines? Or will you rise, take up the mantel of Satan,
and become a true son of the Serpent? It's all up to you. No one
forces you into anything here. But please, brother, consider what I
say, think carefully, and draw the line in the sand! Are you for Lord
Satan, or against him?

On 9/28/16, littlesttitan@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:
Thank you so much! Even though some of the stuff you said i already did and
know you did help me, i respect you for giving me more than what others
wrote (sorry to the other people who replied to me) and out of that respect
i will do my best for you. As i said what i really need is some motivation^^
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Shaitan

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