Hey! im back :-D

[littlesttitan]

Hey guys, im back for what seems like the 10th time and i. Well...im still not sure if im going to come here everyday. I keep trying to make promises to you guys and myself but i mostly never do anything. I get too caught up in finding something to do to get rid of some time and have some fun after my "hard day of school" i don't seem to have much willpower to stop what im doing because im totally sure its less important than "my goal" of getting stronger mentaly, spiritualy, and physicaly. All of those strengths of me are so weak and dull that they shouldnt even be called strengths, i know that i have soooooo much potential but i just fuucking waste it all by doing nothing and just forgeting about the real important things in life: LIFE ITSELF. i have no willpower, no motivation, no sense of WANT in me. I use to have a feeling of totol joy and optimism, i dont know if its me being dumb like the many on this planet that i critisize and being too mean or me being dumb in another way by letting "something bad" control me. Im stuck in a loop everyday of saying that ill do some meditations, read jos and get smarter then using my experience to help others. I really hate feeling and/or being helpless. I do feel and i really want to know that theres still a part in me that is all rational and can straighten me out but theres something in the way. Maybe im just clouded in my own hate in other things and the world that i live in...ive been trying to channel all of my emotions into positive energys and happiness but i fail with everything going on in my life affecting me. Even when i sat down, meditated on everything that makes me me and tries to center myself the best i could nothing changed long-term. Whoever you are that reads this probably dont have a clue what im talking about but if you do please help me. Im dealing with what feels like too much "stuff" and i just cant chill out about it. I know that im better than this weak little bitch that your hearing, i just need others to help me survive...if you read all this thank you and i hope the best for you and for me. I had to get all this out at once...well i love you guys!

 

[lisadragomir13]

I know what you're going through - I was like that last year but than I started meditating regularly (I was messing around with Ouja board & got told to meditate regularly (I probably influenced the board myself but it was a good kick in the arse)) - I made myself do it & I wouldn't go do anything else until I finished what I promised myself to do. I would write myself a schedule with times & everything + I asked a friend if I could tell her everything I did previous day (except meditations) so I kinds forced a routine in my day. Due to the lack of meditation before, my bioelectricity was so low that I came from school & laid on the bed for hours. I couldn't get myself to study, didn't even do homework and just wasted my time. Well after starting HP Zevios Metathronos's 40 days program & getting like 15 days into it, I felt so productive! I did all homework, meditated + started drawing again. Even if it was last month of school I was able to save my grades °-°
So basically Zevios Metathronos's program can be a life saver. Get yourself some kind of reward after successfully completing a day or maybe even a morning meditation section. Write down everything you did and at the end of the week read it. Take notes what you could change, make a check list and just get yourself going - once you get the momentum it'll flow easier

 

[Taol]

If you don't do void meditation, start there.  (Aura cleaning, aura of protection)

Now are there any outward things influencing you? Yes? Get rid of them.

If you already do quite a few things on a day and you feel like you aren't doing enough try to be a bit more satisfied.

"i just need others to help me survive"
At best this is a delusion, at worst you are an infiltrator.


templeofzeus.org

Oh and if you haven't already do the dedication ritual.

You sound pretty new so rather than trying to focus only on your problems try to focus on the solution. Don't see the thing you are experiencing right now, but visualize what you would be doing every day. Then work towards that goal.
Also read and study the JoS website.


There is not much more what I can tell you now.
But perhaps you mighthave to do a working with runes for the willpower (make sure the sign the moon is in/it is not void moon of course), but it could also be a lack of discipline. This can be found in the natal chart.
So dude/dudette really study the website !



---In , <littlesttitan@... wrote :

Hey guys, im back for what seems like the 10th time and i. Well...im still not sure if im going to come here everyday. I keep trying to make promises to you guys and myself but i mostly never do anything. I get too caught up in finding something to do to get rid of some time and have some fun after my "hard day of school" i don't seem to have much willpower to stop what im doing because im totally sure its less important than "my goal" of getting stronger mentaly, spiritualy, and physicaly. All of those strengths of me are so weak and dull that they shouldnt even be called strengths, i know that i have soooooo much potential but i just fuucking waste it all by doing nothing and just forgeting about the real important things in life: LIFE ITSELF. i have no willpower, no motivation, no sense of WANT in me. I use to have a feeling of totol joy and optimism, i dont know if its me being dumb like the many on this planet that i critisize and being too mean or me being dumb in another way by letting "something bad" control me. Im stuck in a loop everyday of saying that ill do some meditations, read jos and get smarter then using my experience to help others. I really hate feeling and/or being helpless. I do feel and i really want to know that theres still a part in me that is all rational and can straighten me out but theres something in the way. Maybe im just clouded in my own hate in other things and the world that i live in...ive been trying to channel all of my emotions into positive energys and happiness but i fail with everything going on in my life affecting me. Even when i sat down, meditated on everything that makes me me and tries to center myself the best i could nothing changed long-term. Whoever you are that reads this probably dont have a clue what im talking about but if you do please help me. Im dealing with what feels like too much "stuff" and i just cant chill out about it. I know that im better than this weak little bitch that your hearing, i just need others to help me survive...if you read all this thank you and i hope the best for you and for me. I had to get all this out at once...well i love you guys!

 

[littlesttitan]

Thank you so much! Even though some of the stuff you said i already did and know you did help me, i respect you for giving me more than what others wrote (sorry to the other people who replied to me) and out of that respect i will do my best for you. As i said what i really need is some motivation^^