My parents sent me to a Catholic school for a couple of grades and I grew up in an area where this church was the center of the community. Every prominent person went to this church and everyone who didn’t was basically seen as an inferior
One of my earliest memories as a young child was my mom listening to some rock cd. I began crying, covering my ears, and telling her it was evil and “demonic”
I remember always thinking my mom was demon possessed
I began hating my family
I developed weird anxiety and ocd behavior at a very young age. In elementary I told my teacher my eyes were falling out or my ears were bleeding. I had to touch things a certain amount of times or “demons” were going to attack my family.
I clearly remember developing two thought forms in my head. One was evil and would give me compulsive thoughts like tell me to do something awful. While the second one would fight him and make him go away. They where brothers
I became very superstitious, anxious, and compulsive very young
It wasn’t just me developing these odd behaviors. Many of the kids involved with this church developed similar traits
I remember a kid telling me on the bus that there was a demon inside the emergency light talking to him. We would make these things up in our heads.
It wasn’t a game or “just being kids” like this shit would actually torment us. It was debilitating at times
I basically started heavily drinking. I had no idea how to deal with the issues I had and everyone around me was retarded. At the age of 12 I received my first underage consumption. This was a trend among many of us in the area
As I tried to straighten my life out as an adult, some of these beliefs stuck for a while. Music was demonic, tv was demonic, my family was demonic, sports were demonic, foods were demonic. Everything had spells in them. I began to hate everything. Even my own friends and family
The music at work heavily bothered me. I was always worried it would influence my thought patterns and possess me with some kind of evil spirit
I obviously know now that yes there are some systems being used against us to “influence” our thought patterns and influence society as a whole. Propaganda does indeed exist. But calling it “demonic” was just so false. And a harmful way to approach such matters
Funny enough I seen a clip recently of a Catholic priest telling people sugar is an entry for “demonic” forces. They try to say these beliefs are “fringe” yet here is a person of authority saying this to millions of viewers. The same kind of things they told me as a kindergartner…
They told me in first grade that my pencil pouch was demonic because it had a tv show on it. Then made me black it out. Imagine telling a 6 year old this shit
I remember so many times I would begin to break free. I would try meditating and such to fix myself. I often found peace in nature. It’s the only place I ever felt the presence of a God
I would eventually go online to research meditation and all I seemed to come across was christians telling me it’s evil.
They would say to never meditate because evil entities will begin attacking you through your mind. Saying things like “They want you to clear your mind so they can brain wash you”
There was really no such thing as these dark forces from what I experienced. I experienced the exact opposite. But hey who wants to take the chance of becoming insane and ruin their life (as if I wasn’t already insane at the time)
This was the same type of teaching the Catholic Church would tell us in grade school. When my mind was in its most receptive phase. Hmm who is doing the brain washing here?
It got to the point I couldn’t watch a movie with my wife. I couldn’t listen to music. I couldn’t wear clothes with a design. Even a simple beat was forbidden as most of them came from “African voodoo drums” lmao
Anything that actually brought a sense of peace to my life was somehow evil according to them
Eventually I said screw it. I'm going to keep meditating, keep observing nature, and keep doing what brings me peace. That’s how I broke free. It took years of work. But I finally denounced all of the falsehoods of the past and found truth.
I realized every weird thought was a creation of my own imagination.
I am far past this point in my life. But this is what I had to deal with and correct in myself for many years. Just because my parents didn’t want to send me to public school and be looked down upon