You should hope to go to Hell (did I just scare you? Hehe), where your Soul will be protected. Going to "heaven" into "the light" is not a good thing at all... The Soul is made up of light, so Hell is lit dimly, to protect your Soul. The point of life is to improve Yourself and the Universe, so one day you won't go to Hell in the sense of dying and being there. Instead, you will be living an eternal life in your Body with your Soul being perfected - but empowerment and advancement is ever-increasing. The number 666 is the number of the Perfected Soul. You can be in control of your own life and destiny, and have no-one your master, such as a jew-on-a-stick false-god. That's why Satan and 666 are (supposed to be) evil...
Take your time with getting into a proper pattern of meditating and working on things. As long as you are genuine and serious and you mean it, then you should be OK. If you're just going to take the piss, then it won't work very well at all.
ADD and ADHD is just a bad diet, and some people are more lively and boisterous naturally than others are. You must improve your diet, as well as exercise, and do meditations. It's also very good to keep your Mind sharp, as well. All Physical, Mental, and Spiritual aspects must be done. Yoga (Hatha AKA Physical, and also Kundalini) are both Physical and Spiritual, plus you get the right Mentality with it.
It might actually not be enemy entities. The Brain/Mind can be super stubborn. You have to go in your meditations and workings at a decent speed, but not too quickly so that you will have Mental backlash, and of course not too slowly that it's not doing anything. Only you can know the best speed for you, and later, you should be able to handle more. "Later" is ambiguous - it can take from months to years for some people. It's important to not expect things. Instead, just get on with it at a nice speed, and sooner or later things will click. Results can also take a while to be noticed, as well - but every single little thing that you do - both good and bad - does have an amount of influence, does make an amount of difference. You also need to know that it is easier to destroy than it is to create; energy takes the path of least resistance, which is detrimental; destructive; deadly; etc.
Being from a strict christian background, your Soul would more than likely be more closed. Think of you/your life as a tree. You have deep roots planted deeply down into christianity, but this tree is quite withered and pathetic (no offence - it's just an analogy). To uproot the tree requires 'blood, sweat, and tears', and getting all of those roots up makes you messy and dirty. Then you have to throw them away/incinerate them and the tree. Then sort out the soil and ground, and then plant a new tree or bush or flowers... Then nurture and grow them.
You can do that. Your mind would, and yes some enemy entities might very well, try and stop you. It's uncomfortable being a gardener - but you as a tree, or your garden which you want to create (your own life and paradise and world) takes effort. The difference between your garden and that one of "eden" is that yours is real and exists in actuality, and
you can make it how
you want it. There are no limits in Satanism.
You should also know that "sin" doesn't exist, but we say the only "sin" in Satanism is stupidity. "Sin" in the sense of making-jewsus-cry doesn't exist. Test it, if you like, if you are able to, safely. e.g.
- miss church, if you can get away with it without trouble from your family/friends;
- swear;
- blaspheme;
- here's a scary, frightening one - masturbate;
- think about someone of the same sex as you who you think is attractive in a sexual manner (even if you're not bi/homosexual);
- tell yourself "jesus" is a scrawny bitch pussy;
- tell yourself that Satan is God (one of the many, many Gods/Goddesses);
- inform or remind yourself that "god" committed more crimes than Satan did, as documented in "the" bible;
- ask yourself "which 'the' bible?" There are many contradictory ones;
- dare to read Judges 1:19;
- dare to read Isaiah 45:7;
- tell yourself that "god" chooses to not prevent bad things from happening;
- tell yourself that "god" chooses to watch and enjoy priests raping little children;
- tell yourself that "god" chooses to not give money to children who are starving to death;
- go online and find out how many christians there are in the world, then realise each should give 10% every Sunday and assume that that 10% is £€$¥10, then multiply those number of christians in the world by £€$¥10 then by 52 weeks to make 1 year;
- tell yourself that "god" chooses to give "the" pope; joyce meyer; benny hinn; etc. big houses, 5 cars, lots of servants who they get money off, and refuses to give that money to children who are starving to death;
- if you are one who realises that "the" pope is evil, then tell yourself that "god" chooses to not remove the current "the" pope from that position;
- tell yourself "heaven is for bitches";
- tell yourself "Hell is for the strong and worthy";
- and any other things you can think of safely
Then after that, notice how "god" doesn't punish you, and notice how your family/friends don't punish you, and notice how the priest/pastor doesn't punish you. You might want to start with some of these things which you can do in your head, such as swearing, lustful homosexual thoughts, and blashphemic thoughts first. Then you can see how no-one, including "holy men and women", nor "god" itself, can possibly do anything about your thoughts. Do it safely.
You should read through the materials if you haven't. Click the 'JoSM Links' link in my signature below. You should also do the 'Freeing the Soul' working, which might need to be repeated, and then do a programme of meditation - you can use HP HC666's 40-day programme, or the 6-month programme.