I don't know what to do.

[Herainette]

Hello. This thread is about me feeling like i am at a dead end.

I did not receive education from my family which is the most important education of life. Also they didn't loved me one bit. The moment i born not a day was peace. I mean in my family like my whole family bloodline was full of problems even between my dad and my mother. So they didn't have time to educate me or love. Basicly my whole life is a bag of nothingness. My father is always trying to rule me its like its not my body, life, soul, brain and body im just so sick of it. My mother basicly left me when i was 9. I don't have a mom nor dad. Every person i met was toxic to me. Every person i met was bad(memory, effect) to me. I never met ''the one'' as in a friend or lover. I was and i am all alone in my life. Atleast my life is better and i finally learned my lessons from every person i met since dedicated. When i dedicated i thinked everything i lived through and learned my lessons every one of them. The only problem is i can't put it in action. My hands and arms are tied by my father EVEN UNCLE. im just trying to be myself,strong and worthy to father satan. And beacuse i can't do anything to be stronger in everyway, meditation i feel very bad (like i am not worthy for this path) and beacuse im weak mentally and spiritually i can't do any spells to make things better. Basicly i don't know what to do. I did a spell last days but im not even sure will it work or not cause i don't trust to my strength and to the person that gaved me that spell beacuse it's not from jos and he says he did the spell by on his own beacuse he is a witch. I just wanna be a witch and strong in every way and worthy for the satan as i said. But i really really can't do anything now i just have to get rid of my whole family litteraly. Someone thankfully suggested binding but im not strong enough to do spells i think beacuse i don't/can't do anything to be stonger. Only i will be free and happy (even thinking me as free, happy and doing meditations/spells makes me so excited and so happy) when i get rid of my father. I can't go anywhere else. Can't go to my mother cause she doesn't want me/she has a new family. Even my father has a new family but at that time when my mother leaved me he couldn't leave me at my own but i think if i was at that situation now he would throw me away litteraly. I can't go to police or like these organizations beacuse of the abuse i see pyhsically and mentally from my whole family beacuse i need a home to live at nice standarts like my father has. I basicly need his money. I can't work cause im not 18 even if i work it will be not enough for me to live a normal life in this country. I don't have anyone who will accept me for who i am or will take care of me. I just need a family but can't have that. The living arrangement i wish is that my father is just taking care of me economic and don't want him to interfere with anything that going on in my life. Basicly i don't know what to do know all i know is the time im free and doing my stuff is the time that my father is leaves me alone. I was transexsual before i dedicated after this i realized that this is wrong and im a male. But still im more feminen and can't act like a boy or like girls so im just gay i think. Also i don't wanna cut my hair but I think i will have to in a few days beacuse of my father and uncle. I always had someone to tell me what to do. I think beacuse of that i can't do anything on my own, to me i just need someone to tell me what to do now for this situation and that person will be the last person that telled me what to do if i will be free after do things that person said. Just help me out please i just wanna be MYSELF.

Thank you so much...

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Hello. This thread is about me feeling like i am at a dead end.

I did not receive education from my family which is the most important education of life. Also they didn't loved me one bit. The moment i born not a day was peace. I mean in my family like my whole family bloodline was full of problems even between my dad and my mother. So they didn't have time to educate me or love. Basicly my whole life is a bag of nothingness. My father is always trying to rule me its like its not my body, life, soul, brain and body im just so sick of it. My mother basicly left me when i was 9. I don't have a mom nor dad. Every person i met was toxic to me. Every person i met was bad(memory, effect) to me. I never met ''the one'' as in a friend or lover. I was and i am all alone in my life. Atleast my life is better and i finally learned my lessons from every person i met since dedicated. When i dedicated i thinked everything i lived through and learned my lessons every one of them. The only problem is i can't put it in action. My hands and arms are tied by my father EVEN UNCLE. im just trying to be myself,strong and worthy to father satan. And beacuse i can't do anything to be stronger in everyway, meditation i feel very bad (like i am not worthy for this path) and beacuse im weak mentally and spiritually i can't do any spells to make things better. Basicly i don't know what to do. I did a spell last days but im not even sure will it work or not cause i don't trust to my strength and to the person that gaved me that spell beacuse it's not from jos and he says he did the spell by on his own beacuse he is a witch. I just wanna be a witch and strong in every way and worthy for the satan as i said. But i really really can't do anything now i just have to get rid of my whole family litteraly. Someone thankfully suggested binding but im not strong enough to do spells i think beacuse i don't/can't do anything to be stonger. Only i will be free and happy (even thinking me as free, happy and doing meditations/spells makes me so excited and so happy) when i get rid of my father. I can't go anywhere else. Can't go to my mother cause she doesn't want me/she has a new family. Even my father has a new family but at that time when my mother leaved me he couldn't leave me at my own but i think if i was at that situation now he would throw me away litteraly. I can't go to police or like these organizations beacuse of the abuse i see pyhsically and mentally from my whole family beacuse i need a home to live at nice standarts like my father has. I basicly need his money. I can't work cause im not 18 even if i work it will be not enough for me to live a normal life in this country. I don't have anyone who will accept me for who i am or will take care of me. I just need a family but can't have that. The living arrangement i wish is that my father is just taking care of me economic and don't want him to interfere with anything that going on in my life. Basicly i don't know what to do know all i know is the time im free and doing my stuff is the time that my father is leaves me alone. I was transexsual before i dedicated after this i realized that this is wrong and im a male. But still im more feminen and can't act like a boy or like girls so im just gay i think. Also i don't wanna cut my hair but I think i will have to in a few days beacuse of my father and uncle. I always had someone to tell me what to do. I think beacuse of that i can't do anything on my own, to me i just need someone to tell me what to do now for this situation and that person will be the last person that telled me what to do if i will be free after do things that person said. Just help me out please i just wanna be MYSELF.

Thank you so much...

I've been through the things you're going through too. Abuse, controls, constraints, hatred, etc. from his family and especially from my father. Every situation is different, but this is what worked for me.

1) The things that your family doesn't educate you about or instruct you on are taught by the Gods. I personally didn't like animals, for example, because my family taught me to fear them and consider them useless and annoying. But then I met the Gods and saw their vision about it. Now the only times I cry and get severe lumps in my throat and stuff is when I see animals feeling sick. The Gods teach sound principles.

2) Regarding love, you must be the first to love yourself. If you devalue yourself, you tell yourself that you are not enough, first of all you are not truly loving yourself. this doesn't mean that the rest comes by itself, but loving yourself is a fundamental start. In the end, the person who really matters in your life is you. I also add: don't rely on non-JoS witches. They don't know what they're doing. It may be dangerous to connect your soul with one of their rituals.

3) You are as you are as long as you want to be. You don't need anyone to recognize it for you. In my family I am the black sheep and beyond that no one ever takes into consideration my ideas which are defined as stupid because they do not accord with Christian principles or with the principles that the Jews have taught this society. But this doesn't make me or what I think wrong and it doesn't take away the value of these things that exist and are significant in themselves.

4) Trying to resolve certain situations spiritually is always much better than doing nothing. Sometimes, in fact, you might even be pleasantly surprised by the consistent results. Very little is enough per day, but every day consistently. Better than staying in this situation forever. It's not worth not even trying, it would be like losing from the start. You don't need to succeed right away, just be consistent.

5) If what you have suffered makes you feel unworthy of the spiritual path, that is not the case. You haven't done anything wrong with your own hands, the fact that others make you feel inadequate shouldn't weigh on you. Many Catholic priests defame Satan, but Satan does not allow them to dictate what he should be like. Only Satan determines who Satan is. This is because it is not how others make us feel that is the concrete thing, since it will never be objective.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

I've been through the things you're going through too. Abuse, controls, constraints, hatred, etc. from his family and especially from my father. Every situation is different, but this is what worked for me.

1) The things that your family doesn't educate you about or instruct you on are taught by the Gods. I personally didn't like animals, for example, because my family taught me to fear them and consider them useless and annoying. But then I met the Gods and saw their vision about it. Now the only times I cry and get severe lumps in my throat and stuff is when I see animals feeling sick. The Gods teach sound principles.

2) Regarding love, you must be the first to love yourself. If you devalue yourself, you tell yourself that you are not enough, first of all you are not truly loving yourself. this doesn't mean that the rest comes by itself, but loving yourself is a fundamental start. In the end, the person who really matters in your life is you. I also add: don't rely on non-JoS witches. They don't know what they're doing. It may be dangerous to connect your soul with one of their rituals.

3) You are as you are as long as you want to be. You don't need anyone to recognize it for you. In my family I am the black sheep and beyond that no one ever takes into consideration my ideas which are defined as stupid because they do not accord with Christian principles or with the principles that the Jews have taught this society. But this doesn't make me or what I think wrong and it doesn't take away the value of these things that exist and are significant in themselves.

4) Trying to resolve certain situations spiritually is always much better than doing nothing. Sometimes, in fact, you might even be pleasantly surprised by the consistent results. Very little is enough per day, but every day consistently. Better than staying in this situation forever. It's not worth not even trying, it would be like losing from the start. You don't need to succeed right away, just be consistent.

5) If what you have suffered makes you feel unworthy of the spiritual path, that is not the case. You haven't done anything wrong with your own hands, the fact that others make you feel inadequate shouldn't weigh on you. Many Catholic priests defame Satan, but Satan does not allow them to dictate what he should be like. Only Satan determines who Satan is. This is because it is not how others make us feel that is the concrete thing, since it will never be objective.

*from MY family, especially my father.

 

[Visitor]

My goodness, you have so much shit that I'm wondering where to start

I've already read some posts by other people and it's not the first time I've read something about “love”, I have so many signs in my chart about love, love of this, love of that, love of this shit here and that shit there, so I don't understand where you're getting so much excuse with this love shit from

The point is simple, if you're thirsty and drink water, the thirst goes away, for obvious reasons
If you have 100 problems and you solve 1, now you have 99 and then it goes down to 0, if you do nothing you will continue with the 100 for obvious reasons

“And beacuse i can't do anything”, ‘like i am not worthy for this path’, ‘beacuse im weak mentally’ there are so many problems here and in everything you do that it is not to be expected that you are having problems, the first thing you need to do is stop complaining and read the JOS website.

Common reasons for failure in magick are:
“Due to a lack of awareness, you destroy what you are trying to create.
What I mean by this is repeating certain phrases over and over, that are contrary to what you are trying to achieve. Every cell in our body is a thinking living unit that makes up the part of the whole. This is what is referred to as the “mind-body”. There is a very powerful connection here. You ARE what you think, ESPECIALLY, if you practice power meditation and/or have a more powerful soul.”

Overcoming Obstacles

You also said you did some spells, my question is
Have you opened your third eye?
Have you practiced directing energy?
Do you already have the basic skills and knowledge to deal with spells?

You have so many problems with basic things like pessimism and lack of faith in your own spells that I don't doubt that some of them will work.

It's not just spells, but there are so many things that you seem to have to fix that I don't even know where to say it.

By the way, let me tell you a few other things, you said you're under 18, you're still just a kid, you say you're transgender but a kid like you still doesn't have any life experience to decide these things, and from my experience of my life with entertainment (games, series, etc)

I've always preferred female characters and there was a time when I noticed that I had a preference for a more feminine way, now I'm a woman because of this shit? Of course not, stop being stupid, the more I paid attention to the feminine side of women, I also in one way or another had a more similar behavior, not completely, but some things, that's because I had much more contact with the feminine side than the masculine, but that's all, and do you know why? because I like simple women like that

Seriously, you're still a kid, you don't have any life experience yet, and as I wrote, many of your problems are mental and destroy what you're trying to build out of ignorance

Another thing, stop acting like an ignorant person, you're in the JOS, you have plenty of spiritual knowledge, if you study enough and then understand how the enemy works you'll realize that this "oh, I think I'm transsexual, or I'm gay" is "pure" nonsense, and I can speak from personal experience, if I want I can convince someone that they're a chicken with effort and a favorable environment for me

If you were born a man then your soul is masculine period, anything you want to advance or try to discover you can go to the gods and learn from them yourself, at the moment letting some other stupid, ignorant retard decide what you are would be the worst thing you could really do

And as a final note, improve your writing, you put it all together, it's hard to read that way

 

[nema]

Hello. This thread is about me feeling like i am at a dead end.

I did not receive education from my family which is the most important education of life. Also they didn't loved me one bit. The moment i born not a day was peace. I mean in my family like my whole family bloodline was full of problems even between my dad and my mother. So they didn't have time to educate me or love. Basicly my whole life is a bag of nothingness. My father is always trying to rule me its like its not my body, life, soul, brain and body im just so sick of it. My mother basicly left me when i was 9. I don't have a mom nor dad. Every person i met was toxic to me. Every person i met was bad(memory, effect) to me. I never met ''the one'' as in a friend or lover. I was and i am all alone in my life. Atleast my life is better and i finally learned my lessons from every person i met since dedicated. When i dedicated i thinked everything i lived through and learned my lessons every one of them. The only problem is i can't put it in action. My hands and arms are tied by my father EVEN UNCLE. im just trying to be myself,strong and worthy to father satan. And beacuse i can't do anything to be stronger in everyway, meditation i feel very bad (like i am not worthy for this path) and beacuse im weak mentally and spiritually i can't do any spells to make things better. Basicly i don't know what to do. I did a spell last days but im not even sure will it work or not cause i don't trust to my strength and to the person that gaved me that spell beacuse it's not from jos and he says he did the spell by on his own beacuse he is a witch. I just wanna be a witch and strong in every way and worthy for the satan as i said. But i really really can't do anything now i just have to get rid of my whole family litteraly. Someone thankfully suggested binding but im not strong enough to do spells i think beacuse i don't/can't do anything to be stonger. Only i will be free and happy (even thinking me as free, happy and doing meditations/spells makes me so excited and so happy) when i get rid of my father. I can't go anywhere else. Can't go to my mother cause she doesn't want me/she has a new family. Even my father has a new family but at that time when my mother leaved me he couldn't leave me at my own but i think if i was at that situation now he would throw me away litteraly. I can't go to police or like these organizations beacuse of the abuse i see pyhsically and mentally from my whole family beacuse i need a home to live at nice standarts like my father has. I basicly need his money. I can't work cause im not 18 even if i work it will be not enough for me to live a normal life in this country. I don't have anyone who will accept me for who i am or will take care of me. I just need a family but can't have that. The living arrangement i wish is that my father is just taking care of me economic and don't want him to interfere with anything that going on in my life. Basicly i don't know what to do know all i know is the time im free and doing my stuff is the time that my father is leaves me alone. I was transexsual before i dedicated after this i realized that this is wrong and im a male. But still im more feminen and can't act like a boy or like girls so im just gay i think. Also i don't wanna cut my hair but I think i will have to in a few days beacuse of my father and uncle. I always had someone to tell me what to do. I think beacuse of that i can't do anything on my own, to me i just need someone to tell me what to do now for this situation and that person will be the last person that telled me what to do if i will be free after do things that person said. Just help me out please i just wanna be MYSELF.

Thank you so much...

I think almost everybody here has been through a rough time, as you said you learned from it, it really does make you stronger than the rest.
When you clean and open your Chakras you almost automatically lose the influence of your parents and the trauma they caused, at least that's my experience.
Anyway, if you're here you're DEFINETELY smarter than your parents. Believe it!