HPS Shannon said:
ZolaLuckystar is Yehubor. We have seen pictures of her and her relative online. Azazel also told me she cannot be trusted. Myself, aome other members and the other clergy know this.
How is that possible? She has been a member of ToZ for a long time and with all of her artwork of the gods means shes atleast seen them and had friendly conversations with them. What about Andras who she stated to be her guardian? Surely if Andras was her guardian and she was Yehuborim, then she would probably have been killed or worse by the gods.
This kind of stuff makes me worry if im Yehuborim or not. I have had that attack happen to me in the past a lot and Im not sure about my family history or where they came from.
Fuck here comes the anxiety and worry again.
I have done work for Satan and the gods by spreading ToZ online and doing spiritual warfare, but I have never seen or met any of our gods and that has made me worry a lot.
I have talked so some old and advanced members and they have told me to not worry and that my GD is watching over and protecting me, which made me feel a lot better. But I cant shake the anxiety of the 'what if im Yehuborim attack', and to see a long time member of ToZ who we originally loved to be confirmed Yehuborim only makes my worry a lot worse.
Im going to try and talk with my GD about this, I cant stand it anymore and I want to get this thought out of my head. We all have said that our members aren't led to ToZ by coincidence and that the gods have led most of us here.
If I was Yehuborim then I would just kill myself, because I have spent about 5 years now as a member of ToZ trying to advance myself and work for Satan. I always feel like the gods ignore me and it only makes me feel horrible and afraid that I might be Yehuborim. Im not dealing with this worry anymore.
I used to be so nervous and afraid of doing rituals and talking with the gods because I always thought that I would seem too disrespectful or be doing something wrong in some way. That all has to end and I need to do a ritual and get signs from them to help me get this worry out of my mind.