MEDITATAIONS.

[Mike1]

Ive been slacking on my meditations this last week because Ive been struggling with alot of issues lately,especially with the legal sytem.Im required to go to outpatient treatment and AA and I fuckin hate it.I got nothing in common with any of these people and I refuse to even beleive Im an addict no matter what they say.Ive been drinking still,not every night and Ive been passing all my UAs,I dont know how.Last month I got cited by the cops for drinking an open container in a park,so I dont know how Im going to explain that one to the courts.I pray to Father Satan but I never ask him for help,I got too much pride and I prefer to take matters into my own hands.I want to show him Im tough but so far Im not doing a good job.Im still unhappy with my life and Im always pisssed off and angry and I hate evrybody and everything around me right now and my patience is running low.The enemy still does attack me in my sleep every now and then,but I figured out how to fight that without asking Father for help,I just play along with these attacks like they are nothing new now.I guess Im not presenting a good image to Father Satan,because Im perceiving myself as bad person around people ,so that means how I perceive myself with people and higher authorities in my life is exactly how Im perceiving myself to Father and the Demons.I dont think they are very happy with me so far because I still cant get my shit together.I got myself into these fucked up situations so now I have to figure out how to get out.I know for a fact praying to Father and asking him for help is just going to show more disrespect to him if anything.Even when I start meditating again,in which I will,its going to be hard for me to concentrate again.Everyone tells me to do a destruction ritual on these so called people in my life that are making me unhappy.Easy for them to say.right now I seriously want to beat somebodys ass the first person that steps on my toes.

 

[mnm214spiritualist]

My brother,

The best and worst part of your situation is your complete awareness and knowledge of it. You know what's up, what you need to do, and that's great, yet you fail to do what should be done. I definitely understand your situation, for I myself am not satisfied one bit with how I have carried myself recently in the eyes of Father Satan as well. I am 18, have a good job (I work full time), a full paid scholarship at PCC, but I lack in my dedication as a Satanist to meditate daily and do other excercises to better myself and advance to a higher level of spirituality. Not only that but I've been trying to rid of my pot smoking habbits for over a year now and it has not been going well. I know Father Satan cannot be happy with if I am not happy with myself. My brother, I think you must learn that being angry towards others is like being a slave to them; they have that over you and it will control you. Anger will drive you to do things you may not normally do. please, do not be weak. it's easier not to care for anything others say or do. I do my best not to. Anyways, I jsut saw your post and felt alot of what you were saying so i thought i would put in my two words. take care brother, and come to me for anything you'd like; the name is Melanie.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Mike" <mleskela@... wrote:

Ive been slacking on my meditations this last week because Ive been struggling with alot of issues lately,especially with the legal sytem.Im required to go to outpatient treatment and AA and I fuckin hate it.I got nothing in common with any of these people and I refuse to even beleive Im an addict no matter what they say.Ive been drinking still,not every night and Ive been passing all my UAs,I dont know how.Last month I got cited by the cops for drinking an open container in a park,so I dont know how Im going to explain that one to the courts.I pray to Father Satan but I never ask him for help,I got too much pride and I prefer to take matters into my own hands.I want to show him Im tough but so far Im not doing a good job.Im still unhappy with my life and Im always pisssed off and angry and I hate evrybody and everything around me right now and my patience is running low.The enemy still does attack me in my sleep every now and then,but I figured out how to fight that without asking Father for help,I just play along with these attacks like they are nothing new now.I guess Im not presenting a good image to Father Satan,because Im perceiving myself as bad person around people ,so that means how I perceive myself with people and higher authorities in my life is exactly how Im perceiving myself to Father and the Demons.I dont think they are very happy with me so far because I still cant get my shit together.I got myself into these fucked up situations so now I have to figure out how to get out.I know for a fact praying to Father and asking him for help is just going to show more disrespect to him if anything.Even when I start meditating again,in which I will,its going to be hard for me to concentrate again.Everyone tells me to do a destruction ritual on these so called people in my life that are making me unhappy.Easy for them to say.right now I seriously want to beat somebodys ass the first person that steps on my toes.