I don't recognize myself

[nema]

I don't mean to vent, and I don't know if that's what i'm doing, but i feel like sometimes i have that right too..

I started meditating again around November 2024 after years of nothingness (i always did Rituals and other works, i just could not care less about myself) and everything is just strange. Beside the fact that last summer i was an homeless underweight addict, now i'm healthy, literally addicted to jogging and meditating, i'm writing, playing and painting again, i just don't recognize the man in the mirror anymore. I know you're thinking "what the hell are you complaining about?", and i'm not, i've never been this happy and grateful in my life, but the psychological aspect is kind of messed up. This happened FAST.. the strangest part is talking to people from my old life (not that i really want to) and, as always, the fact that i really can't tell the truth about anything. You can't say "the Gods created another person out of me" to people, can you..?

Has anybody had a similar experience?

By the way, i'm not a newbie in the real sense of the term, and I know transformation Is what Satanism/Zevism Is all about, i'm just weirded out,but i guess it's normal?

 

[High Priestess Lydia Coventina]

Congratulations on the beneficial changes you have made

What you describe is normal. Even people taking up a new hobby get that sense of being someone else.

You can do a daily affirmation to yourself, just simply telling yourself about your new healthy improved identity and that you are successfully evolving in your best interests. This will help set it into your subconscious. You can do this right before going to sleep at night, and/or first thing upon waking.

 

[nema]

Congratulations on the beneficial changes you have made

What you describe is normal. Even people taking up a new hobby get that sense of being someone else.

You can do a daily affirmation to yourself, just simply telling yourself about your new healthy improved identity and that you are successfully evolving in your best interests. This will help set it into your subconscious. You can do this right before going to sleep at night, and/or first thing upon waking.

Thanks you very much indeed High Priestess.. i will! I think I just need some time for things to "solidify". Have a Blessed Day!

 

[Novice Priest Karnonnos]

That is a dramatic change and it can create a lapse of perception or a nostalgia for when you were in a horrible place. The more things 'set', the more you will embrace this new life, as it is a sort of rebirth.

Also, it has to be said, only doing the Ritual can make someone very vulnerable to certain influences! Anyone here must not have the attitude of 'I do not care about myself, just fighting the enemy'. You needed both then, but now the Ritual is not necessary outside of schedules. Cleansing routinely and building up an AoP is an absolute must.

 

[nema]

That is a dramatic change and it can create a lapse of perception or a nostalgia for when you were in a horrible place. The more things 'set', the more you will embrace this new life, as it is a sort of rebirth.

Also, it has to be said, only doing the Ritual can make someone very vulnerable to certain influences! Anyone here must not have the attitude of 'I do not care about myself, just fighting the enemy'. You needed both then, but now the Ritual is not necessary outside of schedules. Cleansing routinely and building up an AoP is an absolute must.

Thank you, that's what i'm doing. And you are right, i went full kamikaze for a number of years.. in retrospective, i probably just wanted to d** and I was determined to at least go out in style. I would never ever even think about that these days... Hail!