I could use some real help Please

[the_real_emodeous]

Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, & Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world & roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that, itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop. I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped, hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had a chance they just did not know it at the time. Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6 days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now. I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes & no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you? The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord. Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind & hart. At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die. My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of freaks. I have come to terms with that. My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking for the truth let alone when I get to confirm. I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at 19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I have taken well, just say walking zombie. It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your time. To all that would try to help me thank you.                                                 The_Real_Emodeous                                                      Hail Satan!!!!

 

[aarzhul]

I can understand part of what you feel.
I don't think I've ever have the amount of rage you do,
but I've had more than my share of depressions, hate, suicidal thoughts, hurt myself. I should've been dead at 20 I think.
One day I felt incredibly bad and the next I felt liberated, as if what should've happened had not. Satan, Raum and maybe other demons have prevented this. Weed also helped control my mood and I meditate every day now. I no longer have to use weed or drink like I used to (daily) and feel better than ever. Meditations have really helped.
I havent felt father satan much in the recent years, he is incredibly busy but he was there every time I REALLY needed him. He will be there for you too as long as you're kicking your own ass into doing what has to be done. Killing yourself will never help, you think you "know it" but NOT ENOUGH. It has to be understood in the very core of your brain. Will you stop being depressed once you know this? No but you won't hurt yourself, you wont kill yourself and the healing will be able to start. Trouble meditating? Help yourself with white noise or meditation mp3's or whatever gets your mind distracted, stare at spots in the walls in darkness if you have to or even your own face in the mirror at night. Its hard, it is, just don't give up. They won't let you down. Sometimes, they talk to me in the shower when I'm alone, sharing knowledge about things. Try meditating while in yours.. who knows?

Take care of yourself brother, by writing here you took one step toward healing and advancing.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:


Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!

 

[Allyson Ford]

I was just wondering about mental disorders and Satan. No doubt mental disorders can be a struggle, I've dealt with it my whole life. But our spirit can be stronger than our mind which is also something I am working on to embrace. Medical marijuana has been helpful with my medical problems. I have tried to kill myself and should have died when I was 18. I've realized Satan kept me alive to fulfill my life purpose. I believe my life purpose is to help children with Special needs, I work with schools and found great joy in this profession. PTSD is a real bitch (for lack of a better word) to deal with. Even though I am early on my journey with the true Father, i advise to stay with Satan and see how he can help you out in life. I hope I was of some help. Best regards. 
Hail Satan!

On Jun 27, 2011, at 6:42 PM, "aarzhul" <kill_hellman@... wrote:

  I can understand part of what you feel.
I don't think I've ever have the amount of rage you do,
but I've had more than my share of depressions, hate, suicidal thoughts, hurt myself. I should've been dead at 20 I think.
One day I felt incredibly bad and the next I felt liberated, as if what should've happened had not. Satan, Raum and maybe other demons have prevented this. Weed also helped control my mood and I meditate every day now. I no longer have to use weed or drink like I used to (daily) and feel better than ever. Meditations have really helped.
I havent felt father satan much in the recent years, he is incredibly busy but he was there every time I REALLY needed him. He will be there for you too as long as you're kicking your own ass into doing what has to be done. Killing yourself will never help, you think you "know it" but NOT ENOUGH. It has to be understood in the very core of your brain. Will you stop being depressed once you know this? No but you won't hurt yourself, you wont kill yourself and the healing will be able to start. Trouble meditating? Help yourself with white noise or meditation mp3's or whatever gets your mind distracted, stare at spots in the walls in darkness if you have to or even your own face in the mirror at night. Its hard, it is, just don't give up. They won't let you down. Sometimes, they talk to me in the shower when I'm alone, sharing knowledge about things. Try meditating while in yours.. who knows?

Take care of yourself brother, by writing here you took one step toward healing and advancing.

--- [/IMG][email protected][/email][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:


Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!

 

[the_real_emodeous]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:

Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!

Hell-O All. I would like to say thanks to the 2 replies so fare. They helped to some extent. I would like some advice from J.O.S. to respond to the above & to this & please do not say go to the J.O.S. page to find what I am looking for. As I stated before I gave myself to Father a long time ago my way. After I had my boys I started to feel like I had to change my ways for their sake. You all must relies I was looking at Father as the R.H.P. looks at things. This is hard to explain please bare with me I am a fool. All right Evil, Pure Evil & I loved hem just as I do now. My love for Father Never Left I just don't want my boys to be like me. Well take the biker that is a 1%er well I am 1/10 of 1%ers. I don't know how to put it other than that. If you compare me to a real bad person I make him look like a "saint". You can see why I don't want my boys to be like me. I want good things for them like all decent folks even though I am not. I started to do things that hurt me like go to church & that kind of crap. Now here is the fun stuff. Come to find out my youngest son has some form of autism & a little over a year ago my brother was in a car wreck & in a coma for 3 months. When I prayed it made me sick then my bro had a seizure & a stork so bad he bet through the bight plate holding his intubation tube. That was it I just about Postal. I went back to my old ways. It felt right & I managed. I found J.O.S. & thing started to click for me real quick. Now I see that Father may not take me back. I think he will & this is why, I started to make an alter for Father with something given to me by the only man that was my true equal in this world & my best friend on earth. He is dead now. So you see the meaning behind it. I haven't felt Fathers or The Gods Of Old presents since the day I started down the Left Hand Path. I was up for some time & was rear the time I would go to bed it was morning & I wanted to start the outline of what I want. I started & there it was filling me all over & I knew I was on the right track. I did not stop in till the carving & sanding was done. You should know how hard it is to find good supplies for us & everything is pricey. I think if you make do with you have & use something that is meaningful it in some way like a sacrifice to Father that you are doing for him & it comes from the hart. I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I still need supplies to do it right & I would like to open all my chakras & know who my Garden Demon is. I am so pore that the homeless have more than me kind of thing. I can't copy all that I read on J.O.S. pages let alone afford the info they sale. I still don't know about joining a Coven or how to find one in my local. Any info or advice from the J.O.S. would be great. Any one that would like to say something is welcome as well as wanted. Thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

 

[Emodeous Zayaz]

Hell-O all. Here is a little info on Me. I am going to be 34 October 25, I live in Modesto, California, USA. I know all about keeping your ID to yourself, but I don't care. What are they going to do to me? Really! I am an exbouncer & privet bodyguard. I fear no man nor death. I am the type to DO WHAT IT TACKS to get the job done. I am not going to fear anyone who loves & is dedicated to Father because they are Family just like the one you are borne in to. I am sure not going to fear the R.H.P. If any R.H.P were to try something well there skin will be on my wall. You know what I mean? I have nothing of worth to take. Really what could someone do to me that would mess with me? If you have read my other posts you would know why I ask that.

At any rate, I would like to know if there is a Coven in or around don't care how far for I have no car Modesto CA. I am looking for a Coven that is able to take me in without pushing someone out & that is J.O.S. fallowing. I would like to see if I would fit in. In the worst case I would walk away hopefully with some Real friends. In any case I could use some support form like mined people. As of now I have not yet got a response from any J.O.S. clergy.

To anyone who wants to harm me. All I can say is BRING ON THE PAIN!!!! It can be very fun to feel body pain. You should know when I first got into Fathers path I studied on all that I could on how to: torcher, kill bar handed, kill with anything as a weapon, bare extreme pain, harness my rage & turn it into body strength, and much more of things of that naecher. So you have been warned very fairly.

Just for argument sacks we will say you killed me. So I am going to get what I want? I am going to dedicate my sole to father & you are going to kill me & send me strait to him, so I don't get to better myself now, & I know the goal is to reach god hade. There is always next time right? Even if you think you win. I win any way you slice the dice. By the way, I will not die in till it is my time & no one not even my own hand can quicken that as I have learned.

To who gets this far thank you for your time.


All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:



--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@ wrote:


Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!





Hell-O All. I would like to say thanks to the 2 replies so fare. They helped to some extent. I would like some advice from J.O.S. to respond to the above & to this & please do not say go to the J.O.S. page to find what I am looking for. As I stated before I gave myself to Father a long time ago my way. After I had my boys I started to feel like I had to change my ways for their sake. You all must relies I was looking at Father as the R.H.P. looks at things. This is hard to explain please bare with me I am a fool. All right Evil, Pure Evil & I loved hem just as I do now. My love for Father Never Left I just don't want my boys to be like me. Well take the biker that is a 1%er well I am 1/10 of 1%ers. I don't know how to put it other than that. If you compare me to a real bad person I make him look like a "saint". You can see why I don't want my boys to be like me. I want good things for them like all decent folks even though I am not. I started to do things that hurt me like go to church & that kind of crap. Now here is the fun stuff. Come to find out my youngest son has some form of autism & a little over a year ago my brother was in a car wreck & in a coma for 3 months. When I prayed it made me sick then my bro had a seizure & a stork so bad he bet through the bight plate holding his intubation tube. That was it I just about Postal. I went back to my old ways. It felt right & I managed. I found J.O.S. & thing started to click for me real quick. Now I see that Father may not take me back. I think he will & this is why, I started to make an alter for Father with something given to me by the only man that was my true equal in this world & my best friend on earth. He is dead now. So you see the meaning behind it. I haven't felt Fathers or The Gods Of Old presents since the day I started down the Left Hand Path. I was up for some time & was rear the time I would go to bed it was morning & I wanted to start the outline of what I want. I started & there it was filling me all over & I knew I was on the right track. I did not stop in till the carving & sanding was done. You should know how hard it is to find good supplies for us & everything is pricey. I think if you make do with you have & use something that is meaningful it in some way like a sacrifice to Father that you are doing for him & it comes from the hart. I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I still need supplies to do it right & I would like to open all my chakras & know who my Garden Demon is. I am so pore that the homeless have more than me kind of thing. I can't copy all that I read on J.O.S. pages let alone afford the info they sale. I still don't know about joining a Coven or how to find one in my local. Any info or advice from the J.O.S. would be great. Any one that would like to say something is welcome as well as wanted. Thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

 

[High Priest Mac Friday]

I dont know whta your getting across, but you sound very diluted right now. For that matter I think you need to correct your thought process or find another group. 
 

Cordially,

PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!

Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday

High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

From: Emodeous Zayaz <emodeous@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, July 6, 2011 5:30:43 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I could use some real help Please

  Hell-O all. Here is a little info on Me. I am going to be 34 October 25, I live in Modesto, California, USA. I know all about keeping your ID to yourself, but I don't care. What are they going to do to me? Really! I am an exbouncer & privet bodyguard. I fear no man nor death. I am the type to DO WHAT IT TACKS to get the job done. I am not going to fear anyone who loves & is dedicated to Father because they are Family just like the one you are borne in to. I am sure not going to fear the R.H.P. If any R.H.P were to try something well there skin will be on my wall. You know what I mean? I have nothing of worth to take. Really what could someone do to me that would mess with me? If you have read my other posts you would know why I ask that.

At any rate, I would like to know if there is a Coven in or around don't care how far for I have no car Modesto CA. I am looking for a Coven that is able to take me in without pushing someone out & that is J.O.S. fallowing. I would like to see if I would fit in. In the worst case I would walk away hopefully with some Real friends. In any case I could use some support form like mined people. As of now I have not yet got a response from any J.O.S. clergy.

To anyone who wants to harm me. All I can say is BRING ON THE PAIN!!!! It can be very fun to feel body pain. You should know when I first got into Fathers path I studied on all that I could on how to: torcher, kill bar handed, kill with anything as a weapon, bare extreme pain, harness my rage & turn it into body strength, and much more of things of that naecher. So you have been warned very fairly.

Just for argument sacks we will say you killed me. So I am going to get what I want? I am going to dedicate my sole to father & you are going to kill me & send me strait to him, so I don't get to better myself now, & I know the goal is to reach god hade. There is always next time right? Even if you think you win. I win any way you slice the dice. By the way, I will not die in till it is my time & no one not even my own hand can quicken that as I have learned.

To who gets this far thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:



--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@ wrote:


Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!





Hell-O All. I would like to say thanks to the 2 replies so fare. They helped to some extent. I would like some advice from J.O.S. to respond to the above & to this & please do not say go to the J.O.S. page to find what I am looking for. As I stated before I gave myself to Father a long time ago my way. After I had my boys I started to feel like I had to change my ways for their sake. You all must relies I was looking at Father as the R.H.P. looks at things. This is hard to explain please bare with me I am a fool. All right Evil, Pure Evil & I loved hem just as I do now. My love for Father Never Left I just don't want my boys to be like me. Well take the biker that is a 1%er well I am 1/10 of 1%ers. I don't know how to put it other than that. If you compare me to a real bad person I make him look like a "saint". You can see why I don't want my boys to be like me. I want good things for them like all decent folks even though I am not. I started to do things that hurt me like go to church & that kind of crap. Now here is the fun stuff. Come to find out my youngest son has some form of autism & a little over a year ago my brother was in a car wreck & in a coma for 3 months. When I prayed it made me sick then my bro had a seizure & a stork so bad he bet through the bight plate holding his intubation tube. That was it I just about Postal. I went back to my old ways. It felt right & I managed. I found J.O.S. & thing started to click for me real quick. Now I see that Father may not take me back. I think he will & this is why, I started to make an alter for Father with something given to me by the only man that was my true equal in this world & my best friend on earth. He is dead now. So you see the meaning behind it. I haven't felt Fathers or The Gods Of Old presents since the day I started down the Left Hand Path. I was up for some time & was rear the time I would go to bed it was morning & I wanted to start the outline of what I want. I started & there it was filling me all over & I knew I was on the right track. I did not stop in till the carving & sanding was done. You should know how hard it is to find good supplies for us & everything is pricey. I think if you make do with you have & use something that is meaningful it in some way like a sacrifice to Father that you are doing for him & it comes from the hart. I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I still need supplies to do it right & I would like to open all my chakras & know who my Garden Demon is. I am so pore that the homeless have more than me kind of thing. I can't copy all that I read on J.O.S. pages let alone afford the info they sale. I still don't know about joining a Coven or how to find one in my local. Any info or advice from the J.O.S. would be great. Any one that would like to say something is welcome as well as wanted. Thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

 

[Don Danko]

Yes this person is psychologically unstable and thus a likey agent either now or down the road.

From: High Priest Mac Friday <macfriday@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, July 7, 2011 8:47:15 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I could use some real help Please

  I dont know whta your getting across, but you sound very diluted right now. For that matter I think you need to correct your thought process or find another group. 
 

Cordially,

PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!

Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday

High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

From: Emodeous Zayaz <emodeous@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, July 6, 2011 5:30:43 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I could use some real help Please

  Hell-O all. Here is a little info on Me. I am going to be 34 October 25, I live in Modesto, California, USA. I know all about keeping your ID to yourself, but I don't care. What are they going to do to me? Really! I am an exbouncer & privet bodyguard. I fear no man nor death. I am the type to DO WHAT IT TACKS to get the job done. I am not going to fear anyone who loves & is dedicated to Father because they are Family just like the one you are borne in to. I am sure not going to fear the R.H.P. If any R.H.P were to try something well there skin will be on my wall. You know what I mean? I have nothing of worth to take. Really what could someone do to me that would mess with me? If you have read my other posts you would know why I ask that.

At any rate, I would like to know if there is a Coven in or around don't care how far for I have no car Modesto CA. I am looking for a Coven that is able to take me in without pushing someone out & that is J.O.S. fallowing. I would like to see if I would fit in. In the worst case I would walk away hopefully with some Real friends. In any case I could use some support form like mined people. As of now I have not yet got a response from any J.O.S. clergy.

To anyone who wants to harm me. All I can say is BRING ON THE PAIN!!!! It can be very fun to feel body pain. You should know when I first got into Fathers path I studied on all that I could on how to: torcher, kill bar handed, kill with anything as a weapon, bare extreme pain, harness my rage & turn it into body strength, and much more of things of that naecher. So you have been warned very fairly.

Just for argument sacks we will say you killed me. So I am going to get what I want? I am going to dedicate my sole to father & you are going to kill me & send me strait to him, so I don't get to better myself now, & I know the goal is to reach god hade. There is always next time right? Even if you think you win. I win any way you slice the dice. By the way, I will not die in till it is my time & no one not even my own hand can quicken that as I have learned.

To who gets this far thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:



--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@ wrote:


Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!





Hell-O All. I would like to say thanks to the 2 replies so fare. They helped to some extent. I would like some advice from J.O.S. to respond to the above & to this & please do not say go to the J.O.S. page to find what I am looking for. As I stated before I gave myself to Father a long time ago my way. After I had my boys I started to feel like I had to change my ways for their sake. You all must relies I was looking at Father as the R.H.P. looks at things. This is hard to explain please bare with me I am a fool. All right Evil, Pure Evil & I loved hem just as I do now. My love for Father Never Left I just don't want my boys to be like me. Well take the biker that is a 1%er well I am 1/10 of 1%ers. I don't know how to put it other than that. If you compare me to a real bad person I make him look like a "saint". You can see why I don't want my boys to be like me. I want good things for them like all decent folks even though I am not. I started to do things that hurt me like go to church & that kind of crap. Now here is the fun stuff. Come to find out my youngest son has some form of autism & a little over a year ago my brother was in a car wreck & in a coma for 3 months. When I prayed it made me sick then my bro had a seizure & a stork so bad he bet through the bight plate holding his intubation tube. That was it I just about Postal. I went back to my old ways. It felt right & I managed. I found J.O.S. & thing started to click for me real quick. Now I see that Father may not take me back. I think he will & this is why, I started to make an alter for Father with something given to me by the only man that was my true equal in this world & my best friend on earth. He is dead now. So you see the meaning behind it. I haven't felt Fathers or The Gods Of Old presents since the day I started down the Left Hand Path. I was up for some time & was rear the time I would go to bed it was morning & I wanted to start the outline of what I want. I started & there it was filling me all over & I knew I was on the right track. I did not stop in till the carving & sanding was done. You should know how hard it is to find good supplies for us & everything is pricey. I think if you make do with you have & use something that is meaningful it in some way like a sacrifice to Father that you are doing for him & it comes from the hart. I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I still need supplies to do it right & I would like to open all my chakras & know who my Garden Demon is. I am so pore that the homeless have more than me kind of thing. I can't copy all that I read on J.O.S. pages let alone afford the info they sale. I still don't know about joining a Coven or how to find one in my local. Any info or advice from the J.O.S. would be great. Any one that would like to say something is welcome as well as wanted. Thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

 

[Allyson Ford]

Well said HP I do not think he's in the right area. We do not kill. Randomly putting in violence makes me wanna suggest anger management (opinion). The post made no sense. I don't think he knows enough. 

-Allyson 
On Jul 7, 2011, at 5:47 AM, High Priest Mac Friday <macfriday@... wrote:

  I dont know whta your getting across, but you sound very diluted right now. For that matter I think you need to correct your thought process or find another group. 
 

Cordially,

PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!

Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday

High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

From: Emodeous Zayaz <emodeous@...
To: [e[/IMG][email protected][/email][/url]
Sent: Wed, July 6, 2011 5:30:43 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I could use some real help Please

  Hell-O all. Here is a little info on Me. I am going to be 34 October 25, I live in Modesto, California, USA. I know all about keeping your ID to yourself, but I don't care. What are they going to do to me? Really! I am an exbouncer & privet bodyguard. I fear no man nor death. I am the type to DO WHAT IT TACKS to get the job done. I am not going to fear anyone who loves & is dedicated to Father because they are Family just like the one you are borne in to. I am sure not going to fear the R.H.P. If any R.H.P were to try something well there skin will be on my wall. You know what I mean? I have nothing of worth to take. Really what could someone do to me that would mess with me? If you have read my other posts you would know why I ask that.

At any rate, I would like to know if there is a Coven in or around don't care how far for I have no car Modesto CA. I am looking for a Coven that is able to take me in without pushing someone out & that is J.O.S. fallowing. I would like to see if I would fit in. In the worst case I would walk away hopefully with some Real friends. In any case I could use some support form like mined people. As of now I have not yet got a response from any J.O.S. clergy.

To anyone who wants to harm me. All I can say is BRING ON THE PAIN!!!! It can be very fun to feel body pain. You should know when I first got into Fathers path I studied on all that I could on how to: torcher, kill bar handed, kill with anything as a weapon, bare extreme pain, harness my rage & turn it into body strength, and much more of things of that naecher. So you have been warned very fairly.

Just for argument sacks we will say you killed me. So I am going to get what I want? I am going to dedicate my sole to father & you are going to kill me & send me strait to him, so I don't get to better myself now, & I know the goal is to reach god hade. There is always next time right? Even if you think you win. I win any way you slice the dice. By the way, I will not die in till it is my time & no one not even my own hand can quicken that as I have learned.

To who gets this far thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

--- [/IMG][email protected][/email][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@... wrote:



--- [/IMG][email protected][/email][/url], "the_real_emodeous" <emodeous@ wrote:


Hell-O to all. This is more than likely going to be a long reed. This is
my first post if it goes up. I am not new to Satanism, Just new to
J.O.S. I have been lost & without for a long time. I have been trying to
find my path to fallow & to no avail. I am a lone in my quest to find my
Father Satan. What I mean by "I am a lone" is that is how it has
been since I was 14 yrs old. I found nothing but B.S. & a whole lot of
it. I have found some truth in J.O.S. & I want to continue with J.O.S. I
have some problems that are holding me at bay. I have mental problems. I
will expand on that. I was borne with the fallowing- Asmath, Dyslexic, &
Bipolar Disorder with extreme Rage instead of the hi highs. I also
suffer from P.T.S.D. From what I have read this rage is going to be a
real bad thing. Well it all retry is on a daily bases for me any awes. I
do not want to harm the few that I love just because I get pisst. Let me
try to expand on this rage to you. Now you know about the cartoon theory
of taking a golf ball size snowball on the biggest mountain in the world
& roiling it of the top. It gets bigger & bigger. My rage is like that,
itself perpetuating. Once it starts it is so hard to get it to stop.

I have a real bad history. I was abused not by family but by society. I
am going to say something that is just my opinion, I may be wrong as I
often am. Father Satan gave us something inside us. I found it going
through what I would call ritual beatings by my foes. Mind you I was
with the right hand path at the time. You can turn the other check or as
I was told "A real man does not fight. He uses his mind to resolve
his problems." Well this is what I learned from all that, you can
tack it or you can live. My fight was with myself, a part of me snapped,
hate & rage & how dare these fools. Well that all stopped when I took my
first step towards Father & I did not know that then, I just wanted to
harm them back & badly at that. I did so for I found the power, I always
had it I just used it. Being a big guy & strong at that, they never had
a chance they just did not know it at the time.

Now at this time in my life I need Father More than ever. For the last 6
days I have been on J.O.S. site & trying to discover more. I have a very
hard time trying to reed & I think I am being attacked by the right hand
path. I can't quite my mind to meditate for crap. I know I am a
thinker & that can be a problem but I have worked on trying to gain some
peace through meditating before & did well I think but I can't now.
I can't get the pendulum to work. I have used playing cards for yes
& no answers with grate results. I don't have a wejeebord nor know
how to make one & I can't scry because of the above reasons & this
sucks the most I can't dream!!!! I would kill for a dream no truly
if Father were to say get him it would already be done. I am at a loss
on what to do. Just to tell you I have not yet been confirmed with
Father Satan. Some info says there is a good time to do so & I want the
best for Father to hear my pleas for a 2ed time. I did it in my way when
I was 15 & I asked what does he wants me to do. I was told to wait by
Father at least I think it was him. I did not know what to do or what I
was because I was praying to Father like I was praying to that pace of
crap of the right hand path. I was doing it for 2 ½ hrs when I heard
the voice. Well I kind of freaked a little thin I asked was that you?
The voice replied with WAIT!!!! My only reply was as you wish my lord.
Well I am tired of waiting & was that even Father Satan? Well I find
myself hear righting this. I need some guidance. I don't like to ask
for help nor do I want it but I need it & there is no choice but to
plead for it & if it's given to humbly except it with an open mind &
hart.

At this veary moment I find myself crying. Why I do not know & I
can't stand crying. I don't cry ever not even when my uncles
died. I am a hard man. I find myself in an old fling of wanting to die.
My Demon garden must be tiered of saving my behind. Every chance I get I
put myself in danger let alone how many times I have tried to kill
myself. I am a freak & would be the freak picked on in a room full of
freaks. I have come to terms with that.

My family & so called friends can't help me they are either on the
right hand path or don't believe in nothing. My wife as well since
she is the worst one. I think she will leave me if I continue looking
for the truth let alone when I get to confirm.

I don't do drugs or drink much. 1-3 beers now and then. I do smoke
cigarettes & cannabis a.k.a. devils weed. J I have always wanted to know
what Father's thoughts on cannabis in the first place. I started at
19 yrs on my b-day. It is the only thing that has helped me all these
years. It controls the rage & is the only thing that has. The pills I
have taken well, just say walking zombie.

It has taken me over 8 + hours to right this much. I am using Microsoft
Word to right this. I am going to cut & past so the spelling is better
than the other way. If you have got this far thin thank you for your
time. To all that would try to help me thank you.





The_Real_Emodeous



Hail Satan!!!!





Hell-O All. I would like to say thanks to the 2 replies so fare. They helped to some extent. I would like some advice from J.O.S. to respond to the above & to this & please do not say go to the J.O.S. page to find what I am looking for. As I stated before I gave myself to Father a long time ago my way. After I had my boys I started to feel like I had to change my ways for their sake. You all must relies I was looking at Father as the R.H.P. looks at things. This is hard to explain please bare with me I am a fool. All right Evil, Pure Evil & I loved hem just as I do now. My love for Father Never Left I just don't want my boys to be like me. Well take the biker that is a 1%er well I am 1/10 of 1%ers. I don't know how to put it other than that. If you compare me to a real bad person I make him look like a "saint". You can see why I don't want my boys to be like me. I want good things for them like all decent folks even though I am not. I started to do things that hurt me like go to church & that kind of crap. Now here is the fun stuff. Come to find out my youngest son has some form of autism & a little over a year ago my brother was in a car wreck & in a coma for 3 months. When I prayed it made me sick then my bro had a seizure & a stork so bad he bet through the bight plate holding his intubation tube. That was it I just about Postal. I went back to my old ways. It felt right & I managed. I found J.O.S. & thing started to click for me real quick. Now I see that Father may not take me back. I think he will & this is why, I started to make an alter for Father with something given to me by the only man that was my true equal in this world & my best friend on earth. He is dead now. So you see the meaning behind it. I haven't felt Fathers or The Gods Of Old presents since the day I started down the Left Hand Path. I was up for some time & was rear the time I would go to bed it was morning & I wanted to start the outline of what I want. I started & there it was filling me all over & I knew I was on the right track. I did not stop in till the carving & sanding was done. You should know how hard it is to find good supplies for us & everything is pricey. I think if you make do with you have & use something that is meaningful it in some way like a sacrifice to Father that you are doing for him & it comes from the hart. I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I still need supplies to do it right & I would like to open all my chakras & know who my Garden Demon is. I am so pore that the homeless have more than me kind of thing. I can't copy all that I read on J.O.S. pages let alone afford the info they sale. I still don't know about joining a Coven or how to find one in my local. Any info or advice from the J.O.S. would be great. Any one that would like to say something is welcome as well as wanted. Thank you for your time.

All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

 

[Emodeous Zayaz]

To High Priest Mac Friday Of Joy Of Satan Ministries.I mean No disrespect to you or anyone for that matter. I am new to J.O.S. & I like it. I have been writing a little about me so you all can get a feel for me. I do not want to walk into someone's house & make a full of myself. It seems that I have done that. I am regretful & will do my best to not do that anymore. I am not trying to be diluted. I am here to learn & give myself to Father Satan. If my thinking is wrong then I want it to make it correct. I have asked questions & have had no answers has helped as of yet.   I will ask my questions in a strait way & not try to explain why unless asked.   I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I would like to open all my chakras & I would like to know who my Garden Demon is before I give myself to Father. Is this a good way to start a real path to Father? What would the best time be to give yourself to Father? What other techniques could I use to get into a meditation other than what is posted on the J.O.S. page?   High Priest Mac Friday. I have finally found a place that feels like home. Please know that I want to do what is correct in the eyes of Father & make him proud of me. I am trying & flowing everything on J.O.S. pages. I am very regretful of making a bad first impression. I hope to show you that I belong here & that I am not or would ever betray Father or the J.O.S. in any way. Thank you for your time.     All My Love To Father        Hail Satan The_Real_Emodeous

--- In [email protected], Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@... wrote:

Well said HP I do not think he's in the right area. We do not kill. Randomly putting in violence makes me wanna suggest anger management (opinion). The post made no sense. I don't think he knows enough.

-Allyson

On Jul 7, 2011, at 5:47 AM, High Priest Mac Friday macfriday@... wrote:

I dont know whta your getting across, but you sound very diluted right now. For that matter I think you need to correct your thought process or find another group.



Cordially,

PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!


Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday


High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries


http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

 

[High Priest Mac Friday]

The best time to dedicate is when you really feel ready. I also recommend studying the JOS website thoroughly before doing so.
Also, it's Guardian Demon not garden Demon and they tend to find you when your ready. There is ways to find out and a good method will be in the following link.http://gblt.webs.com/Guardian_Demon.htm
There is nothing wrong with the meditations posted on the JOS page. You just need to sit down and concentrate, focus on your outcome and be consistent with every working and meditation you do. These meditations are not that hard, in fact the more you do them the better understanding you have of what your doing. Trust me, I was the same way when I started off. Everything seemed so foreign and I second guessed everything. 
With a little help from the Gods and a whole lot of motivation on my part, I got to where I needed to be. As far as your loyalty goes for our Father, well in time we will see. Note that I am monitoring these groups several times a day. Using different accounts will not work either, I also have ways of sniffing out what doesn't belong.
Other than that, stay strong and grow in Satanism.
 

Cordially,

PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!

Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday

High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

From: Emodeous Zayaz <emodeous@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, July 7, 2011 8:48:22 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I could use some real help Please

  To High Priest Mac Friday Of Joy Of Satan Ministries.I mean No disrespect to you or anyone for that matter. I am new to J.O.S. & I like it. I have been writing a little about me so you all can get a feel for me. I do not want to walk into someone's house & make a full of myself. It seems that I have done that. I am regretful & will do my best to not do that anymore. I am not trying to be diluted. I am here to learn & give myself to Father Satan. If my thinking is wrong then I want it to make it correct. I have asked questions & have had no answers has helped as of yet.   I will ask my questions in a strait way & not try to explain why unless asked.   I don't know when the best passable time would be to give myself to Father & I would like to open all my chakras & I would like to know who my Garden Demon is before I give myself to Father. Is this a good way to start a real path to Father? What would the best time be to give yourself to Father? What other techniques could I use to get into a meditation other than what is posted on the J.O.S. page?   High Priest Mac Friday. I have finally found a place that feels like home. Please know that I want to do what is correct in the eyes of Father & make him proud of me. I am trying & flowing everything on J.O.S. pages. I am very regretful of making a bad first impression. I hope to show you that I belong here & that I am not or would ever betray Father or the J.O.S. in any way. Thank you for your time.     All My Love To Father        Hail Satan The_Real_Emodeous

--- In [email protected], Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@... wrote:

Well said HP I do not think he's in the right area. We do not kill. Randomly putting in violence makes me wanna suggest anger management (opinion). The post made no sense. I don't think he knows enough.

-Allyson

On Jul 7, 2011, at 5:47 AM, High Priest Mac Friday macfriday@... wrote:

I dont know whta your getting across, but you sound very diluted right now. For that matter I think you need to correct your thought process or find another group.



Cordially,

PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!


Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday


High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries


http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

 

[Emodeous Zayaz]

To High Priest Mac Friday Of Joy Of Satan Ministries. I would like to thank you for your help in answering my questions. I have found it to be very helpful. If I find myself needing to ask other questions may I direct them to you? Once more thank you for your help & your time.


All My Love To Father
Hail Satan
The_Real_Emodeous

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], High Priest Mac Friday <macfriday@... wrote:

The best time to dedicate is when you really feel ready. I also recommend
studying the JOS website thoroughly before doing so.

Also, it's Guardian Demon not garden Demon and they tend to find you when your
ready. There is ways to find out and a good method will be in the following
link.
http://gblt.webs.com/Guardian_Demon.htm

There is nothing wrong with the meditations posted on the JOS page. You just
need to sit down and concentrate, focus on your outcome and be consistent with
every working and meditation you do. These meditations are not that hard, in
fact the more you do them the better understanding you have of what your doing.
Trust me, I was the same way when I started off. Everything seemed so foreign
and I second guessed everything.

With a little help from the Gods and a whole lot of motivation on my part, I got
to where I needed to be. As far as your loyalty goes for our Father, well in
time we will see. Note that I am monitoring these groups several times a day.
Using different accounts will not work either, I also have ways of sniffing out
what doesn't belong.

Other than that, stay strong and grow in Satanism.


Cordially,


PRAISE THE Mighty 4 Crowns of Duat!


Knowledge cant be rushed, it is power so you must accept and embrace it.
-High Priest Mac Friday


High Priest Mac Friday
Joy Of Satan Ministries


http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html