wolly said:
Hi,my father abused me from the age of being born until the age of 18. ...
Why do I have this life of misery and pain? What have I done to Satan and his demons?
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life.
....
I'm not a Yehubor and I know nothing about Yehuborim. Is there someone here who felt the same way as I did?
This has nothing to do with wronging any of the Gods, never think of this. These situations arise out of the neglience of other human beings which can happen to be one's parents. This is not punishment from the Gods in anyway.
In fact, the Gods are both about justice and merciful here. They take people who might be very low in life, and teach them the Truth so that one might heal and escape from this ignorance. Our world operates in a bad manner due to the enemy and ignorance combined.
We are given the key to escape through the Gods, but we have to put this in the lock and start walking out of this toxicity.
When we get these negative events, the mind tries to find an explanation on why these have occurred, but this source is essentially the parents themselves. They have been bad, careless individuals, and many people have careless or abusive individuals as parents.
Many parents worldwide are simply unfit to be parents, and they have many unworked issues that allow evil to grow inside them. They express this evil on their children because they are not spiritual people and they have not dealt with their inner negativity.
Unfortunately, innocents pay the price for this. You have been innocent and have done nothing to deserve any of this. But you are a good person and therefore you should focus to live and survive, not to finish your own life.
Even more so, with the current evil and stupid level of mind of most human beings, the "normal" is centered around abuse and other negativity. Most people have at least some of this in their lives, and very bad and abusive parents are very common.
Now that you are old enough, you can move away from their abuse, and meditation is the blessing from the Gods to help you heal all the inner wounds they left you with, or even have the power to retaliate and put them in their place.
You are not responsible for what has happened to you, and therefore, suicide is also pointless, as you will be attacking yourself and in this case you have been a victim and nothing else.
Do you need to heal first? What is your living situation? What are your priorities? Explain to us if you want so the community can help you better.