JokerCard
New member
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2026
- Messages
- 1
I have come here under a different name before. I am unsure what else to do. I have asked for help from others before, but unfortunately I am often told I need to ground myself, that what I'm "getting into" is harming me and that Im going too deep, etc. but I can feel and sense that loaded with her energy so that I don't call a witch buddy to do somethong about the problems discussed below. It's a bit long but please, please know that I have tried to just ground myself and stay calm but terror and heavy soul-binding is at play here on top of extreme surveillance.
I am trapped by a zealous angel-using mother who found out that I became an SS back when it was JoS. She is on a ley line(spiritually more intense land). She has my possessions in storage bins being kept by family who own the property. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and has been domestically violent in front of me many times, all of which is just to speak on her temperment and what she is capable of, as well as reasons as to why her behavior would be less believable when described than that of other people. Often described with the word "pest" by the Gods when I can get a word in edgewise with them.
The curses she sends are insane and some of the insanity is borne from being generally physically isolated because of her location and being surrounded by family and local community members that don't know anything about her magick at the very least. Very typical narcissistic abuse. Very emotional and upheld with an echo chamber, thankfully no flying monkeys because it would ruin a vain narrative she has about "her son" she needs for metaphysical good girl points in an angelically crafted, game like system she and Hebrew thoughtforms made with her. Domineering. Forcing compliance. Forced possession with Hebrew thoughtforms/angels/holy spirit/etc. Everything from getting a cracked phone screen to getting screwed on money to not even be able to jerk off without her energy or an Xian insult or angel or daddy Jesus all up in my face and constantly making me physically uncomfortable and trying to abuse me in all manner of ways.
I have put in honest effort into power meditation, God Rituals, etc. but with my photographs, and her sheer intent that says that my pain matters more than her safety (she'll eat a million death and torment curses before she'll willingly let me even so much as smile and I mean that sort of literally and I am crying for help) she stops me from being able to really even know meditation exists. She is DESPERATE to keep me in this state and way, way worse. I am physically, IRL, really fucked up right now. No money, stressed as fuck, in a semi-bad neighborhood, scared as shit sometimes, spells keep getging countered by mom and Hebrew thoughtforms like it matters more than being alive. My own hunger when I can't afford to eat is used as fuel for her magick to bind and curse me harder. If I have a plan to meditate or just take care if myself, do specific rituals, etc. it is very sneakily taken out of my head and replaced with extreme ragebait and massive gaslighting attacks that get me so primally scared and angry I visualize and intend to bite her soul and chakras so hard that I intend for them to permanently shatter. She will wait and use magick to catch me when I think I have finally blessed myself out of the mess she put me in to hit me with a massive curse or event I can't financially come back from easily without doing what she wants. It will be so confusing and messed up where she will do something incredibly evil, I will do something to her as a response (eventually) and believe it's my own idea or that of a God, then hit her with it, then a mirror curse happens to compare me to her like we are both to blame or that I'm being a hypocrite. All repeats of how we handled disputes before but where she is always the winner and an angel epically dabs on me or something. The mirror being used is one I previously used to manifest a reality in which I was the best magician on Earth as a sort of massive invasive attack against my very soul and any sense kf adventure or ambition.
I NEED HELP. I can barely do anything. I am hitting her and angels and thoughtforms with so much anti-Hebrew energy with visualization and itnworks enough to hurt them but not keep them away because of all the ice spells my mother put me in. If I even *THINK* of blessing myself, a Hebrew thoughtform or one she co-created with them will scream, wail and fucking holler so she can "perfectly counter" it (word for word shamelessly ripping my own intent off with a spell jar to curse me with it in an extremely semi-knowingly childish way) and fuck with me like she's 7 years old. Hebrew has its porogatives in being evil and parasitic and shit but even angels and sometimes Jesus oy vey'd at her over her conduct, intent, reasoning, etc. and I even had a few show me a vision of her geting stabbed by angels for breaking rules and being a disrespectful cunt.
She will force insults that she sends at me to feel like they matter in such a forceful way that it hurts. She can't stand that I don't care what she thinks of me and will brutally throttle and strangle my soul and Throat Chakra to stop me from having an inner world. No even negative, private opinions about her are okay because such privacy led me to JoS/ToZ in the first place and other things she hates.
I just really really really need a lot of help that I can't do for myself anymore.
I am trapped by a zealous angel-using mother who found out that I became an SS back when it was JoS. She is on a ley line(spiritually more intense land). She has my possessions in storage bins being kept by family who own the property. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and has been domestically violent in front of me many times, all of which is just to speak on her temperment and what she is capable of, as well as reasons as to why her behavior would be less believable when described than that of other people. Often described with the word "pest" by the Gods when I can get a word in edgewise with them.
The curses she sends are insane and some of the insanity is borne from being generally physically isolated because of her location and being surrounded by family and local community members that don't know anything about her magick at the very least. Very typical narcissistic abuse. Very emotional and upheld with an echo chamber, thankfully no flying monkeys because it would ruin a vain narrative she has about "her son" she needs for metaphysical good girl points in an angelically crafted, game like system she and Hebrew thoughtforms made with her. Domineering. Forcing compliance. Forced possession with Hebrew thoughtforms/angels/holy spirit/etc. Everything from getting a cracked phone screen to getting screwed on money to not even be able to jerk off without her energy or an Xian insult or angel or daddy Jesus all up in my face and constantly making me physically uncomfortable and trying to abuse me in all manner of ways.
I have put in honest effort into power meditation, God Rituals, etc. but with my photographs, and her sheer intent that says that my pain matters more than her safety (she'll eat a million death and torment curses before she'll willingly let me even so much as smile and I mean that sort of literally and I am crying for help) she stops me from being able to really even know meditation exists. She is DESPERATE to keep me in this state and way, way worse. I am physically, IRL, really fucked up right now. No money, stressed as fuck, in a semi-bad neighborhood, scared as shit sometimes, spells keep getging countered by mom and Hebrew thoughtforms like it matters more than being alive. My own hunger when I can't afford to eat is used as fuel for her magick to bind and curse me harder. If I have a plan to meditate or just take care if myself, do specific rituals, etc. it is very sneakily taken out of my head and replaced with extreme ragebait and massive gaslighting attacks that get me so primally scared and angry I visualize and intend to bite her soul and chakras so hard that I intend for them to permanently shatter. She will wait and use magick to catch me when I think I have finally blessed myself out of the mess she put me in to hit me with a massive curse or event I can't financially come back from easily without doing what she wants. It will be so confusing and messed up where she will do something incredibly evil, I will do something to her as a response (eventually) and believe it's my own idea or that of a God, then hit her with it, then a mirror curse happens to compare me to her like we are both to blame or that I'm being a hypocrite. All repeats of how we handled disputes before but where she is always the winner and an angel epically dabs on me or something. The mirror being used is one I previously used to manifest a reality in which I was the best magician on Earth as a sort of massive invasive attack against my very soul and any sense kf adventure or ambition.
I NEED HELP. I can barely do anything. I am hitting her and angels and thoughtforms with so much anti-Hebrew energy with visualization and itnworks enough to hurt them but not keep them away because of all the ice spells my mother put me in. If I even *THINK* of blessing myself, a Hebrew thoughtform or one she co-created with them will scream, wail and fucking holler so she can "perfectly counter" it (word for word shamelessly ripping my own intent off with a spell jar to curse me with it in an extremely semi-knowingly childish way) and fuck with me like she's 7 years old. Hebrew has its porogatives in being evil and parasitic and shit but even angels and sometimes Jesus oy vey'd at her over her conduct, intent, reasoning, etc. and I even had a few show me a vision of her geting stabbed by angels for breaking rules and being a disrespectful cunt.
She will force insults that she sends at me to feel like they matter in such a forceful way that it hurts. She can't stand that I don't care what she thinks of me and will brutally throttle and strangle my soul and Throat Chakra to stop me from having an inner world. No even negative, private opinions about her are okay because such privacy led me to JoS/ToZ in the first place and other things she hates.
I just really really really need a lot of help that I can't do for myself anymore.
