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Controversial theme: how to deal with and heal the trauma of rape

afl6663 min to read

I know this is a controversial issue, but unfortunately rape occurs to a greater extent than is actually reported.

I was a victim of rape a few years ago by a man in my family (it started when I was 4). It turns out that even today there are consequences of this trauma.

Fortunately since I made my dedication, I have had no more nightmares from rape; but I still have glimpses of all the disgusting things the bastard did to me, and even though he died, that bastard still haunts me in my dreams and sometimes I feel the bastard's presence beside me.

For many years, my mind blocked everything that this bastard did to me (I read several studies that say that when the trauma is very big, the mind tends to "hide" all the memories as a defense) and after going through some very difficult situations ; all the memories (with details) came and how I had a mixture of disgust, shame, anger, humiliation; I ended up trying to commit suicide.

I had psychiatric treatment once and psychological treatment twice, but that didn't help me much.

Like most women who suffer rape, I first started to relate only to scoundrels and then I simply decided not to have a relationship with any man, because for a long time I felt dirty and unworthy of having a relationship with a decent guy.

It has been a few years since I just left home to go to work, the market, the pharmacy, the bakery ... Anyway, I have been isolated for a few years; I have no friends, boyfriends, nothing.

But after I got to know ToZ, I made my dedication and started my daily routine that all Zevists have; I "discovered" that I am worthy of being loved, that I deserve to have a partner and a healthy relationship.

It turns out that I still have some blocks in this sexual issue and in the issue of trusting people (especially men - just to clarify, I am heterosexual) and I still have difficulties in touching myself, in stimulating myself sexually.

In addition to AoP, I program my aura with positive affirmations for protection, Runa Sowilo and Tyr for protection, Runa Ansuz for cleaning, Ritual, Runa Wunjo for inner healing, Returning Curses 2, in addition to Meditations; what else could I do to heal this trauma that I suffered; and so that I can return to a healthy sex life without trauma and / or blockages?

And also in relation to the bastard who did this to me, in addition to the Banishing Ritual; what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?

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#40
94nsaid:
afl666said:

Thank you for sharing your experience.

This question of being able to vent about the trauma really helps a lot.

I kept all this for many years, but after I said everything that happened, I really felt lighter; especially after I posted on the Forum, because I was able to let off steam without having to worry about being a judge; since nobody knows me personally, nobody can see me.

I just wanted to say it is very brave for you to open up to us about your issues and how you're coping with it. You're a very strong person and I want to say it's very admirable that you're continuing to fight every day.

Being a victim of violence (rape) can be life changing, for the negative. It changes your perception and reality, causes deep wounds, is damaging to the self esteem, and can endanger your core beliefs about yourself, others, or the world. Often times these pain and scars makes life very difficult, sometimes to even function.

Thank you very, very much for your words.

They were a pleasure for my heart.

Thanks

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#41
Shaelsaid:
afl666said:

...

There is no way around the VoC regardless of how much protection or preparation you do for it. It will always fail. You will need to find a way to reschedule the interview one way or another. Try to make up an understandable reason for it and have them shift it to a time outside of the VoC. Even if this makes a weird first impression, it will still leave you with a 100x better chance of getting the job than if you try it during the VoC.

I think most companies will be understanding with this kind of thing, as long as you call for rescheduling atleast a week ahead of time and give them a proper reason.

Thank you Shael,

But it will not be possible to reschedule the interview, as it is scheduled for next Monday (03/16); early in the morning.

And since they don't work on Saturday, there's no way.

I will participate in the interview anyway, because if I don't participate I will burn with the company; and I’m not going to stand a chance in her other processes.

Here in my city, things work like this. Just to give you an idea, last year I got a job at a very good company; but when it was time for me to take up the position, I couldn't because I had dengue and I had to rest because I was in the beginning and the pains were very strong, and even though I informed that I had the tests that proved it, a certificate from the doctor who told me answered; they said that I couldn't take the job because of dengue and also said that they would not wait. In short, I lost my spot.

Still thanks for your attention.

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#42
afl666said:

...

If you cant reschedule it then just go with it and try to look for further opportunities that come out of this. Even if it fails there may be other options opening up in return. The VoC isn't negative by nature, it just warps everything that is started in it. So this warping may lead to a different, better opportunity in the end.

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#43
Shaelsaid:
afl666said:

...

If you cant reschedule it then just go with it and try to look for further opportunities that come out of this. Even if it fails there may be other options opening up in return. The VoC isn't negative by nature, it just warps everything that is started in it. So this warping may lead to a different, better opportunity in the end.

Thanks.

As soon as I have an answer to the interview, I make sure to share it with you.

Thanks for everything.

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#44
Shaelsaid:
afl666said:

...

If you cant reschedule it then just go with it and try to look for further opportunities that come out of this. Even if it fails there may be other options opening up in return. The VoC isn't negative by nature, it just warps everything that is started in it. So this warping may lead to a different, better opportunity in the end.

Shael,

As I agreed with you, follow the positioning of the interview I did.

Today I received an email stating that because of the Coronavirus pandemic in Brazil and the fact that the city where I live is quarantined (like the rest of Brazil), the selection process is suspended until the situation is normalized.

I will use this time to increase my energies.

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