Becoming a JoS / Occult Fanatic

[Ignisalas]

So I've made my mind up and I might be getting a little too extreme with spiritual advancement and I might start doing some things that are unhealthy for me, like too much meditation or using mantras too much.

I've come to a point now where I feel broken and useless and I can never seem to speak with Satan or any of the demons without getting too damned angry or emotional. I've never had an easy life and I want to make changes. Its going on 6 years now and I haven't made any progress nor have I ever spoken with or seen or interacted with any gods in any way.

I've had nasty thoughts come to my mind about just straight up leaving JoS and I believe the enemy is trying to force me to leave and be on their side.

I just want to stay on this path and be happy, but I can never seem to find happiness here. Most of it is coming from myself because of a horrible unfortunate life. Lack of love, money, sex and happiness has driven me just about insane. I'm planning on starting to get really deep into this path and turn into a fanatic. I want to be able to fight for Satan and not have anymore worries or doubts about myself or my life.
Im still having the attack were im unsure if im a jew or not. Its drove me crazy. Of course after being here for so long, its a bunch of bullshit enemy tactics but it still worries me.

Its hard to calm my mind and stay focused on stuff when I try to meditate. Racing thoughts have always been a big issue for me, and void meditation doesn't seem to help much.

I don't know what else to type. Im feeling strange right now. Its a mixture of sadness, anger and confusion
I've been falling behind on spiritual advancement for years, and I believe its because I worry too much on the physical, and my physical life.

Im not going to lie to you guys, over the years I've mostly been only interested in using the occult for money, and women and what not, the usual shit like that. Its what motivated me to get into Satanism to begin with, since ive always heard the popular stories of how most of the people that are rich or famous or whatever practiced Satanism, but we all know that's a bunch of nonsense.

I guess that's why I can never seem to get in contact with Satan or any of the gods, maybe they just see me as too greedy and too much of a nasty person.
Its not really my fault either. I had to grow up in a retarded redneck family that's dumb as bricks and they only live in they're own world that's nothing but poverty, Xianity, and stupidity. I always hated it. I always hated my own family on such a deep level because of that. I hated growing up poor and having a sense of helplessness in my life and nobody else around me understood how I felt.

I want to advance and also help people on this path. I know I didn't begin this path with the best intentions or mindset, but that was years ago. I know who my guardian is, and I also want to get close to them, and close to Satan. After being a member of JoS for years now Ive learned so much that a normal person could never dream of. I want to be a soldier and everything, but I also don't want to be so damned down and depressed and poor all the time. I don't know what to do right now, im kind of stuck in a dilemma where Im wondering what I should do. Should I just use my powers to attract money and everything like that, or should I just keep on with trying to advance myself by working on my chakras and soul.

I was planning on just starting over and going through the basics and everything, like the beginner and basic meditations and everything and work my way up to advanced ones. Im pretty much throwing everything in and i'll probably be over doing it with all the meditations and vibrations with the chakras and all that, but I don't really care if it causes harm to me or damages me for doing too much. Im just desperate for change right now.

Not sure what else to type. Just wanted to talk about this.

 

[High Priest Zevios Metathronos]

If you use Satanism as a tool of false expectation, while you insist on all the mentality and outlook of life of xianity, then you cannot push upwards in life.

You do not seem to have let go of crucially bad mentalities that block you from doing better at life.

Your internal disposition and outlook has to change severely. It is ok to be after the things you want, all good with this.

Use your abilities to expand your life in your ability. Did you read the JoS?

But you need to change the approaches that lead to failure. One of them being the xian mentality of blaming everything to the occult or Satan.

 

[NameHere]

---

Hi there.

I wanted try and help you in a way.

I've been like you in the past, still kinda am, but that's not the point. The point is, you need to understand that if you put expectations on yourself on how you should be instead on focusing on how you are truly meant to be then you are never going to change or get out of the loop.


If there's one thing Father Satan, my GD's and The JoS clergy and their members taught me is that - everyone is different.

Different on levels each of us are, different of how we do certain meditations, etc.
But the most important thing is to remember that you should not put expectations on yourself, you should not try to be like somebody else, but instead, be yourself.

I am probably not making a lot of sense here, but remember - You have the tools to change your life and yourself.
You can either meditate everyday, remove hang ups from your soul, attract the things you want and get better in life OR stay in the same spot you are right now and feel angry at everyone, even yourself.

The choice is yours.

But know this - The Gods wants us to advance, be the best of ourselves, reach Godhood you know?

We all mess up and slip up sometimes, but is that something that should stop us? Frankly speaking - I think not!

Rise brother! Become the best version of yourself and advance! You can do it, you just gotta do your very best too, not everything will be served on a plate for you.

---
I hope my post made sense and I didn't make you upset or anything.
Please get better Brother and make sure to talk to Father Satan or your GD even if you can't hear them like a live person - they will communicate with you in ways that you can understand.
Take care!

HAIL SATAN!!!

 

[Blackdragon666]

So I've made my mind up and I might be getting a little too extreme with spiritual advancement and I might start doing some things that are unhealthy for me, like too much meditation or using mantras too much.

I've come to a point now where I feel broken and useless and I can never seem to speak with Satan or any of the demons without getting too damned angry or emotional. I've never had an easy life and I want to make changes. Its going on 6 years now and I haven't made any progress nor have I ever spoken with or seen or interacted with any gods in any way.

I've had nasty thoughts come to my mind about just straight up leaving JoS and I believe the enemy is trying to force me to leave and be on their side.

I just want to stay on this path and be happy, but I can never seem to find happiness here. Most of it is coming from myself because of a horrible unfortunate life. Lack of love, money, sex and happiness has driven me just about insane. I'm planning on starting to get really deep into this path and turn into a fanatic. I want to be able to fight for Satan and not have anymore worries or doubts about myself or my life.
Im still having the attack were im unsure if im a jew or not. Its drove me crazy. Of course after being here for so long, its a bunch of bullshit enemy tactics but it still worries me.

Its hard to calm my mind and stay focused on stuff when I try to meditate. Racing thoughts have always been a big issue for me, and void meditation doesn't seem to help much.

I don't know what else to type. Im feeling strange right now. Its a mixture of sadness, anger and confusion
I've been falling behind on spiritual advancement for years, and I believe its because I worry too much on the physical, and my physical life.

Im not going to lie to you guys, over the years I've mostly been only interested in using the occult for money, and women and what not, the usual shit like that. Its what motivated me to get into Satanism to begin with, since ive always heard the popular stories of how most of the people that are rich or famous or whatever practiced Satanism, but we all know that's a bunch of nonsense.

I guess that's why I can never seem to get in contact with Satan or any of the gods, maybe they just see me as too greedy and too much of a nasty person.
Its not really my fault either. I had to grow up in a retarded redneck family that's dumb as bricks and they only live in they're own world that's nothing but poverty, Xianity, and stupidity. I always hated it. I always hated my own family on such a deep level because of that. I hated growing up poor and having a sense of helplessness in my life and nobody else around me understood how I felt.

I want to advance and also help people on this path. I know I didn't begin this path with the best intentions or mindset, but that was years ago. I know who my guardian is, and I also want to get close to them, and close to Satan. After being a member of JoS for years now Ive learned so much that a normal person could never dream of. I want to be a soldier and everything, but I also don't want to be so damned down and depressed and poor all the time. I don't know what to do right now, im kind of stuck in a dilemma where Im wondering what I should do. Should I just use my powers to attract money and everything like that, or should I just keep on with trying to advance myself by working on my chakras and soul.

I was planning on just starting over and going through the basics and everything, like the beginner and basic meditations and everything and work my way up to advanced ones. Im pretty much throwing everything in and i'll probably be over doing it with all the meditations and vibrations with the chakras and all that, but I don't really care if it causes harm to me or damages me for doing too much. Im just desperate for change right now.

Not sure what else to type. Just wanted to talk about this.

I've read your recent posts. I think what you should do is list down your major life problems. And start dealing with them one after another.

Basic cleaning the soul may take very many years to remove deep rooted problems. Money issues for example will not just disappear just because one cleans their soul every day. You need to address the problem with maximum effort.

The next new moon will be in the sign of Scorpio, I believe. This is a good time to start a working to free your soul. Choose one obstacle, say poverty. Do a 40 or 90 day working. If you do a 90 day working you'll be finishing it sometime in January which is not so far away.

After you are done with that, do a sun square for wealth. You can also do a working with runes. You may not develop instant wealth but one thing is that your money workings will manifest results after the karmic issue has been removed from your soul.

Understand that the planets will have no mercy on you until you get up and do what is necessary.

In fact after you finish freeing your soul, you can be doing a daily working for the unseen future to attract wealth into your life. You'll even notice that getting a good job will be easier when you don't have karmic money issues in your soul, either through looking for a job physically or using magic.

As for being fat, there is no other option but exercising. You can be skipping a rope every day, riding a bicycle, jogging etc. Avoid junk food at all costs. Taking several small meals per day is better than three heavy ones. We have a health forum which you can go through for information on diet and nutrition.

I remember reading something on the JoS about using blue energy to help reduce weight. I think sky blue was the color. You breathe it into your soul(I can suggest nine times or a multiple of nine) and affirm that you are safely losing weight every day(nine times also). This is a working that takes less than five minutes. If you do this working and exercise every day, you can be sure you'll be in a better shape in a few months or less.

Start exercising as soon as possible. You can incorporate the above working when the moon starts waning again.

As for being ugly, honestly you stand a very low chance of attracting a partner when you are unhealthily fat. Work on that problem first. Having a strong solar chakra will also make you more charismatic. A clean aura also makes people feel more comfortable around you and therefore treat you better. Your behaviors/manners, hygiene, attitude all factor in your sex appeal.

It is also very unwise to desire a partner when you have not fixed your major life problems. Deal with your problems first and then you can look for a partner someday in the future when you are ready for one. This is just in case you feel bad because you can't get a partner at the moment.

 

[Ignisalas]

Thanks for the replies. I understand and have pinpointed the things that need fixing in my life and on the spiritual level. I have just been too lazy over the years and never put any major effort in fixing anything. I was just doing basic and usual chakra workings and never really practiced anything else, except for planetary squares. But a lot of the other workings on the site ive never really made an attempt to practice.

For the past month I've nearly stopped trying to meditate, and I started back working on my chakras today and I felt a hell of a lot better afterwards. I don't blame psychic attacks or the enemy mostly for my laziness and everything, but they sure do play a part in making me that way. Most of it comes from hangups and karmic issues from a past life I believe.

I feel like I've been too stressed out over my physical life and stuff, like money and finding a stable home, being able to afford some of the things I want, and finding a partner, etc. Its caused me to not focus as much on the spiritual. I feel like time is passing by too fast and it sort of has me in a panic. I didn't have a good childhood, or teen years, I missed out on a lot of things that normal kids or teens had because of an abusive family, and I believe its left a few scars on me mentally. Theres a lot of past things that's happened to me that's hard to ignore or forget about.

 

[Blackdragon666]

Thanks for the replies. I understand and have pinpointed the things that need fixing in my life and on the spiritual level. I have just been too lazy over the years and never put any major effort in fixing anything. I was just doing basic and usual chakra workings and never really practiced anything else, except for planetary squares. But a lot of the other workings on the site ive never really made an attempt to practice.

For the past month I've nearly stopped trying to meditate, and I started back working on my chakras today and I felt a hell of a lot better afterwards. I don't blame psychic attacks or the enemy mostly for my laziness and everything, but they sure do play a part in making me that way. Most of it comes from hangups and karmic issues from a past life I believe.

I feel like I've been too stressed out over my physical life and stuff, like money and finding a stable home, being able to afford some of the things I want, and finding a partner, etc. Its caused me to not focus as much on the spiritual. I feel like time is passing by too fast and it sort of has me in a panic. I didn't have a good childhood, or teen years, I missed out on a lot of things that normal kids or teens had because of an abusive family, and I believe its left a few scars on me mentally. Theres a lot of past things that's happened to me that's hard to ignore or forget about.

I wish you all the best

Be sure to add this working from Lydia to your general plan. It will help you with most of your emotional scars.
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=22610&p=96188&hilit=Waunyo#p96188

Try to deal with them one by one. If you take on many problems at once you may fail to keep up with them and stop all of them, and starting again is not so pleasant. And when you start, no turning back until you are done.

For the workings to free the soul, I also program energy from yoga and breathing exercises with the same affirmation I'm using for the main working, every day of the working duration. Try this too.

I can tell you for sure that freeing the soul workings do work. A year ago I never thought I'd get over someone until I did a very lengthy working with Uruz. And I have never been happier than I am these days.