ohnoitsmook1
New member
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2004
- Messages
- 2
It's been almost half a year since I had done the Dedication, but I've only begun meditating since May, and I know that it's only been a few months, but, I don't get that strong of a feeling that anything is happening at all.
I mean, I did open all the main chakras as stated on JoS. I did see an orange glow around one of my friends once, when I was doing void meditation. At night, I do see some kind of mist in my mind; it's usually of a crimson color. I do feel a little heavy sensation when I focus on my Third Eye. The thing is, I feel like I'm going in circles; I don't know if I'm even progressing at all.
I had requested Father for a demoness who may assist me in advancing spiritually, by sex magick (i.e asked for a succubus). Four times, though. I've been doing the visualizations and fantasizing as stated under the Incubi/Succubi section on JoS, and had never had results besides from a sex-related dream a few times.Also, on the same section, it states, "Your demon will work with you to open your astral senses, as opposed to plain fantasizing on your own.". Don't I need my astral senses already opened in order to even see her in the first place?
My mother didn't even apologize or anything when I was released from the asylum on August 14th, and she's been making my life difficult as well. In addition, for some reason, I seem to start losing motivation to meditate as frequently, as I keep getting the thought that it won't do any progress, as it hasn't so much in the past.
A positive thing, though, is that it had stormed pretty hard on my last night in the asylum. I found it to give a real amount of hope, since my Guardian is capable of controlling storms and it gave me the impression that I am still being cared for. Or something.
I mean, I did open all the main chakras as stated on JoS. I did see an orange glow around one of my friends once, when I was doing void meditation. At night, I do see some kind of mist in my mind; it's usually of a crimson color. I do feel a little heavy sensation when I focus on my Third Eye. The thing is, I feel like I'm going in circles; I don't know if I'm even progressing at all.
I had requested Father for a demoness who may assist me in advancing spiritually, by sex magick (i.e asked for a succubus). Four times, though. I've been doing the visualizations and fantasizing as stated under the Incubi/Succubi section on JoS, and had never had results besides from a sex-related dream a few times.Also, on the same section, it states, "Your demon will work with you to open your astral senses, as opposed to plain fantasizing on your own.". Don't I need my astral senses already opened in order to even see her in the first place?
My mother didn't even apologize or anything when I was released from the asylum on August 14th, and she's been making my life difficult as well. In addition, for some reason, I seem to start losing motivation to meditate as frequently, as I keep getting the thought that it won't do any progress, as it hasn't so much in the past.
A positive thing, though, is that it had stormed pretty hard on my last night in the asylum. I found it to give a real amount of hope, since my Guardian is capable of controlling storms and it gave me the impression that I am still being cared for. Or something.