Leaving

[HailVictory88]

It's not important, and people won't care, but for purposes of closure I wanted to post this. As of tomorrow I will no longer consider myself a member of the Temple. I have no malice towards anyone here, and certainly no wish to oppose you or your mission, but I can't consider myself a true member.

Over a few years I donated a very large amount to the Temple (and I am not rich at all, just have money from working). I still may donate in the future, but the short story is that a couple years ago I developed a very bad drug addiction. While this is ultimately my fault, i suspect enemy meddling played a role. My life was basically ruined, I lost all of my cash. I mean down to the last dollar. So I couldn't continue donating, and I guess the Temple leaders didn't want anything to do with me. I don't hate any of you, I think you're good people. But you didn't have to pretend to be my friend, I would have donated anyway because I support the cause. If I get back on my feet, I will resume donating, but please don't insult my intelligence by acting like you care for me personally. I've never had any friends, it was very stupid of me to think I could fit in anywhere.

While I'm somewhat hurt emotionally (it has been a very painful few years), I don't hate any of you. I wish you success in your mission.

 

[High Priest Hooded Cobra 666]

You are listening to guilt, self-shaming yourself and you allow guilt to take over your mind, secluding yourself in a false feeling of unworthiness brother. Now you are in this situation and you are allowing yourself to fall further, because you listen to that nonsense out of the generated fear of this.

Nobody has changed any opinion of you; you have always been a most loved person. Nobody will hate you, and yes, everyone cares. At least I do personally. The situation is the more you reject this and the more you perceive things this way, the more you also feed the habit as these things have to do primarily because one experiences this isolation and they self-induce it further to feed wrong habits.

The more you distance yourself, you allow the habit to dictate who you are and now it whispers you falsely that you lost worth in the eyes of others and in yourself.

The false habit is therefore, generating a false perception of your world and yourself, and even others, for what? To drain you like quicksand until nothing remains. At this point you will understand it’s very destructive. But this is not YOU, it’s like something heaped upon you, it’s not YOU.

You are experiencing something negative such as an addiction. This does not delete your previous honorable acts. They are still there and valid. The situation is that it lies to you so you sacrifice every hope just to feed this worthless addiction, until it takes a great man down. This is how these things work. It’s like a plague that spreads in the mind and tells you, that you are worthless or that you never done anything. But you did do what you have done, there’s no erasing it.

You do not have to donate anything and nothing has to do with money in regard to this. At this point one should actually treat money as the last thing; the first priority is regaining control from this damned worthless addiction and tell yourself that you are a great man, who deserves BETTER than this worthless vacuum that tries to pull you in like quicksand.

Feel free to mail me directly for anything. Regardless of what you do, real bonds in this world do not change. Mine stands true as I told you before and that will never change. Pull the brakes on this downward spiral, because of all people I have known, you deserve this the least.

There is also no word that can change this, you simply have to pull the breaks, go in relapse, take it like a man, or seek professional help to detach from this drug induced soul enemy of you. If this was someone else, you would pull the brakes to save them, think of yourself as a man you must save. Stay strong and do it.

 

[AFODO]

I would listen completely to the great words of our High Priest if I were you.

 

[HailVictory88]

You are listening to guilt, self-shaming yourself and you allow guilt to take over your mind, secluding yourself in a false feeling of unworthiness brother. Now you are in this situation and you are allowing yourself to fall further, because you listen to that nonsense out of the generated fear of this.

Nobody has changed any opinion of you; you have always been a most loved person. Nobody will hate you, and yes, everyone cares. At least I do personally. The situation is the more you reject this and the more you perceive things this way, the more you also feed the habit as these things have to do primarily because one experiences this isolation and they self-induce it further to feed wrong habits.

The more you distance yourself, you allow the habit to dictate who you are and now it whispers you falsely that you lost worth in the eyes of others and in yourself.

The false habit is therefore, generating a false perception of your world and yourself, and even others, for what? To drain you like quicksand until nothing remains. At this point you will understand it’s very destructive. But this is not YOU, it’s like something heaped upon you, it’s not YOU.

You are experiencing something negative such as an addiction. This does not delete your previous honorable acts. They are still there and valid. The situation is that it lies to you so you sacrifice every hope just to feed this worthless addiction, until it takes a great man down. This is how these things work. It’s like a plague that spreads in the mind and tells you, that you are worthless or that you never done anything. But you did do what you have done, there’s no erasing it.

You do not have to donate anything and nothing has to do with money in regard to this. At this point one should actually treat money as the last thing; the first priority is regaining control from this damned worthless addiction and tell yourself that you are a great man, who deserves BETTER than this worthless vacuum that tries to pull you in like quicksand.

Feel free to mail me directly for anything. Regardless of what you do, real bonds in this world do not change. Mine stands true as I told you before and that will never change. Pull the brakes on this downward spiral, because of all people I have known, you deserve this the least.

There is also no word that can change this, you simply have to pull the breaks, go in relapse, take it like a man, or seek professional help to detach from this drug induced soul enemy of you. If this was someone else, you would pull the brakes to save them, think of yourself as a man you must save. Stay strong and do it.

I'm very sorry HP...I don't mean to say anything bad about the Temple...I've just been spiraling with paranoia and negative thoughts, all the abuse I received previously [from people outside of the Temple]. I keep getting obsessive thoughts that someone from here is going to curse me and destroy my life and harm my family. My life has really been on the brink, I came close to dying and even though my addiction is not as bad now, my life is still a mess. I apologize again, I'm very sensitive and I'm sure people here are tired of my histrionics, I promise I don't mean to be a pain in the ass.. in any case thank you for your response, I will give it some thought.

 

[serpentwalker666]

Please do not leave brother. We are all here for you. You aren't the only one, many of us have struggled with alcohol and related addictions.

Also you shouldn't view yourself so negatively, as High Priest Hooded Cobra has said.

We will do what we can to assist and help you, there is no reason to step away from this holy place.

 

[Henu the Great]

I'm very sorry HP...I don't mean to say anything bad about the Temple...I've just been spiraling with paranoia and negative thoughts, all the abuse I received previously [from people outside of the Temple]. I keep getting obsessive thoughts that someone from here is going to curse me and destroy my life and harm my family. My life has really been on the brink, I came close to dying and even though my addiction is not as bad now, my life is still a mess. I apologize again, I'm very sensitive and I'm sure people here are tired of my histrionics, I promise I don't mean to be a pain in the ass.. in any case thank you for your response, I will give it some thought.

No Zevist would ever curse another Zevist.

 

[serpentwalker666]

I'm very sorry HP...I don't mean to say anything bad about the Temple...I've just been spiraling with paranoia and negative thoughts, all the abuse I received previously [from people outside of the Temple]. I keep getting obsessive thoughts that someone from here is going to curse me and destroy my life and harm my family. My life has really been on the brink, I came close to dying and even though my addiction is not as bad now, my life is still a mess. I apologize again, I'm very sensitive and I'm sure people here are tired of my histrionics, I promise I don't mean to be a pain in the ass.. in any case thank you for your response, I will give it some thought.

No one here is going to harm you spiritually, it will be okay. Please stay around the Temple so we can help you sort your life and get past these hard struggles in your life.

 

[High Priestess Lydia]

but please don't insult my intelligence by acting like you care for me personally. I've never had any friends, it was very stupid of me to think I could fit in anywhere.

We do care about you. As for fitting in, you have previous posted incel related trash. To fit in here, read the ToZ and have your mind open to learning Zevism, not garbage from weird internet places. Reject garbage, accept Zevism and our Gods.

 

[HailVictory88]

Thank you to everyone who replied, even if I haven't responded directly I am still looking over your posts and appreciating the meaning. I'm really sorry I suck so much...I just have been suffering in silence for a while, and I got pushed over the edge (of course, I understand now that this isn't the fault of anyone here, and it's unfair for me to dump my negative energy as if it was). My addiction cost me not only all of my money (plus immense amounts of debt, to the extent that I may be sued), but also my dignity, values, health, self-esteem, and most importantly, my ability to support the Temple, which I truly valued doing. I'm cringing at my previous mention of how much I donated, really I'm grateful I got the chance to give as the Temple gives priceless gifts, and I consider myself in your debt, not the other way around.

I have gotten through the worst of the withdrawals, but I'm still dealing with a ton of negative emotions, it's incredibly depressing that through my own stupid fault I lost everything I had been working for over years.

We do care about you. As for fitting in, you have previous posted incel related trash. To fit in here, read the ToZ and have your mind open to learning Zevism, not garbage from weird internet places. Reject garbage, accept Zevism and our Gods.

Thank you High Priestess, your posts are always good to read. I have rejected prior misogynist abrahamic thoughts. Just for clarity tho,I'm an incel in the sense that I'm an autistic loser, but I don't hate women or think they're bad.

 

[Oroboros]

I'm very sorry HP...I don't mean to say anything bad about the Temple...I've just been spiraling with paranoia and negative thoughts, all the abuse I received previously [from people outside of the Temple]. I keep getting obsessive thoughts that someone from here is going to curse me and destroy my life and harm my family. My life has really been on the brink, I came close to dying and even though my addiction is not as bad now, my life is still a mess. I apologize again, I'm very sensitive and I'm sure people here are tired of my histrionics, I promise I don't mean to be a pain in the ass.. in any case thank you for your response, I will give it some thought.

Note: this is just my opinion and how i think, please mod, make sure this isnt disrespectful in someway, if it is, please reject the reply , thank you

the fear of being cursed:

you literally should forget about it ,I can guarantee HPHC will never curse you, i am new here and i have watched the reactions of the people in the forum, and HPHC is truly enlightned , even if all here go against you( it will not happen, and its not happening) i won't be surprised if he still stood on your side, same for HPL she is so gentlehearted i cant even imagine her cursing an ennemy, for how gentle our High Priestess is( i know she does ofc) Same for some members

a Zevist won't curse a Zevist as @Henu the Great said, but i do not want you to stop fearing other Zevists but start fearing the ennemy... I want the fear to disappear i want you to be free. And i gave you example with the HP since in any organisation when the ones in top are good, the others walk the same path and opposite is true, i can know how good an organisation is just but observing the ones in the top, i can also know everything about followers of the organisation based only on the ones in top

many here are truly very advanced and i see it clearly, if someone tries to hide his ego behind a "good way" of talking, i still see ego if ego is there, i can sense it and i can see and sense the one behind the reply, opposite is true, even if an advanced one talked in a "harsh way" i will still see his true intentions , and i clearly see that its not from ego, Believe me blindly, forget about curses , if the HP are like that , the members are bound to do the same

If you have paranoia about HP cursing you, you will start then having it in relation to members, then to outsiders then to the ennemy, or opposite, you start by fearing a member then an older member then you start fearing the HP then even if you fix that you start fearing ennemy like crazy... it starts small then expands, it will make you feel extremly weak, and you will be the one cursing yourself, i saw many in my life who believed that they are cursed, they never get well ,never , unless they remove the belief that they are cursed and only then they become well, additionally, if you see the aura of protection its about feeling protected, so in a way or in another, if you are cursed, you cursed yourself

Read this thread to know how big the shift the mental state does:
Thread 'I am under attack, 100%, please i need guidance' https://ancient-forums.com/threads/i-am-under-attack-100-please-i-need-guidance.305203/

Just boldly claim you are good, forget about curses, try to meditate, and you are now in a lower low in your life, so this is the best time to put all your knowledge to the test, when you will succeed , you will have immense power and belief that people who didnt go through this do not have , and you will have good stories and happy ending

Lastly, please pray to the Gods, with their grace you may get better very quick, and as marcus aurelius said :" if its endurable, endure it, stop complaining."

I know how hard addiction is since it forces you to live below your potential, you can do this ! best of luck! I am sure you already feel good after seing the replies in this thread, if you dont train by the way start by running it will help a lot.

Visualise yourself daily 5-10min in your end result, having overcome addiction and having a good income, feel like if it already happened during the visualisation it will help a lot.. it will make you in good mood, make sure you do techniques in ToZ. And to follow the guidance of our High Priests.

(In next text i do not mean they really do not care, i want to free you from this, since like the fear of curses which starts small and expands, wanting to be loved have opposite effect, and expands, and make you delusional and have childish way of thinking ...)

Considering what you said about " them acting like they care" , to be honest with you brother, you should get rid of habit of trying to be loved unconditionally, besides your Parents/ family, HPHC and HL, maybe few others members, you will everytime get a slap if you try to be loved unconditionally, ( i do not know if its allowed to say that, i am trying so hard to be respectful sorry if i fail to do so) try to also forget about all humans, never get attached, if you are into the unconditional love, love them unconditionally, but never expect it back, if you believe in it, you do it , i was like you in this point , and thats what i did,and its so weird that when you love people unconditionally they start loving back, but if you get attached they will slap you again, you should stay focus , love unconditionally and be free , the end result of being loved is feeling the love, so love them unconditionally and you will feel " unconditional love" it doesnt matter if it comes from them or you, actually it matters, when it comes from you you get love back + your life and mood gets better, also after knowing the Gods love us unconditionally, i could experience this feeling while thinking of them, since they know everything about me , and still love me

I feel i have no privacy, but i just do not care and focus on advancing, it seems privacy in next levels doesnt exist, but also judging doesnt exist, and i think that worrying about privacy have a lot to do with being judged

I was almost going to delete all this for many reasons since some of the stuff i said may be misunderstood, but i really think it can help you, i am sacrificing myself to help you.

Please meditate and visualise and use power of your thoughts and focus on the good ,and i refuse to believe this reply is as helpful as the help of Gods and HPHC who encouraged you to contact him which gives me again urge to delete this but i think this will help you so i will post, also HPHC encouraged you to email him, but i advice you to sit meditate , and work on yourself instead of sending him an email where you tell all your problems and wait for them somehow to be solved, you can do that but if he encourages you to act as a reply try taking that energy and applying it and acting, ( thats only my opinion it may be false, i am not in anyway meaning that HPHC prefers this or that) do not get lost in waiting for someone to help you, you should help yourself first , imagine you make someone stand and directly after standing he falls even if you know he can stand on his own, and again you make him stand and then he falls he will make you mad, try not to be like this, and be sure you will be highly respected when you will succeeed in this, i liked so much the comment of HPL , our High Priestess embodies that energy, she said we care about you yet encouraging you to reject garbage and accept Zevism and the Gods, its like sending you love but urging you to walk no one will walk for you.

( I will send this even if this feels a bit off, some lines may sound as a bit of disrespect, i am literally sacrificing my image and account for this, i tried so hard to be respectful in this reply sorry if i failed)

I want to add a thing, i already maybe F** up in the above, i will add this and never do that again:

About fitting in: it just doesnt work, same as unconditional love, i always tried to fit in too during my life, and i came to conclusion that i just dont and cant fit in, but still i was kind of trying , a moment came when this became just too much, so i just rejected everything in life, stoped fiting in, and became myself, and i was okay and expecting everyone to go against me , i forced myself to be myself and refused to fit in in extreme ways , and this lasted for 2-3 years, and i was believing at that time every single one is against me and hate me , since i am the only one in real life i know that dont fit it in all groups to this extreme, whats weird is that i became extremly respected in real life , extremely loved , and also i can fit in in any group now, since im tooo goated, im completly not fitting in, that i dont have a form and now im able to fit in anywhere, since when you dont fit in in any place or group, you also gain power of being able to fit in , but this always is backed by you yourself becoming strong and empowering yourself, otherwise this trait will make you suffer, now in real life i dont agree with no one , which gives me power that i can agree with all, i agree with no one , but everyone i agree with him in some things, so i dont agree with no one, yet everyone i see things we both agree on.

 

[High Priestess Lydia]

I have gotten through the worst of the withdrawals, [...]

Focus on cleaning your aura and chakras. Drug addiction will cause like a tar-like dross, it's like sludge in the chakras and aura, and it will take months to clear out.

Get some clear quartz, it will help. Just keep cleaning, and know that in time you will be fine again and on a better path

For the bad thoughts, vibrate (either out loud or mentally) the mantra Sananda. It means joy, it will help. Any time you start to think badly about yourself, focus on that mantra. In the shower, while walking, before going to sleep. Also state firmly to yourself that you are healing and becoming better and worthy of thinking happy thoughts about yourself