Please please don't get so down on yourself. I hate to see that. You are NOT incompetent. The fact somebody makes it all the way here and then actually dedicated puts them above 99% of the population. I know how smart you have to be to get here.
I lurked here at JoS for, mmm.... idk....Maybe 3-6 months and dedicated only about 9 months ago. Only in the past few weeks do I feel the train has even started to pull away from the station. So that's like 8 months before I could even start to make out my aura. I felt pretty stagnate. And now it's just a sudden movement forward for me.
I wanted to give up at times. And I even cried out to Satan that things got WORSE since dedicating. I felt like I was left to the wolves. To this point, if anyone has experience with this let me know. I seriously think the powers of Hell let me get pretty roasted by things. Probably as a training. Build toughness and show how brutal things can be. Maybe not all get roasted like this but I did.
That's beside it all though. Point being, don't give up please. You have it in you. JA or somebody said it took them 2 years to even feel energy. Your soul and powers could have been withered much worse than you even think. Most of us have a lot of repairs to make before we get to the kick ass upgrades.
I always think to Maxine. You think it's tough now? How about being basically the first in modern times to figure this out with no JoS forum to fall back on? I've been thru some crazy shit. How about the crazy shit she probably went through we don't even know about? I bet it was way worse. And here she is now at mythical status.
