What’s the point of existing and evolving forever?

[Jack]

Once a wolf tried to jump and eat the grapes that were hanging above him wondering how sweet and delicious they would taste. But then this Buddhist came along and told the wolf that no matter what he did he would still suffer searching for food everyday of his life. So the wolf intellectually thought that since theres no point to living and advancing and maybe the grapes are sour to self rationalize then he fucking died from hunger. Little did the young wolf know that eating those sweet grapes would elevate all of his suffering forever.

1)Suffering is caused due to lack of power. Since your consciousness and your body are so weak the dual nature of the world affects you in a karmic loop. The human mind hopes for happiness and joy but does not want to suffer. Without suffering, there would be no joy and without pain there would be no happiness. This is an inherent contradiction of emotion,of the feeling brain and the thinking brain. Without losers, there are no victors and without darkness there is no light. Hate is born out of the desire to protect love and revenge is the manifestation of that hate that breeds more hate and continues endlessly in a karmic cycle.

2) The elimination of emotions and feelings, the elimination of consciousness does not only elevate suffering, it elevates also happiness and extinguishes your entire being. The energy that is being manifested in the vibrational level, the mental level as consciousness. If you extinguish it, your existence is extinct. Prolonging suffering doesn't work either.

3) There is no method for elevating suffering found in philosophy, both in the far east and in the west. Acceptance of the state of the world is the first step towards self actualization. The only way to eliminate suffering is to rise above it, rise your consciousness above it and your consciousness changes how you perceive things. The only way out is the energetic tantric path. After the kundalini rises, everything changes. The Gods who transcend our state of being are on a different plane of existence. The way you perceive and feel things are different on that plane of existence. Reach that and then theorize if astral and physical immorality were really worth it or not.

 

[Legendary Creature]

I think you should consider seeking professional help to deal with this suicidal mindset of yours.

 

[curio]

So I’m was planning on how i’m going to advance in every way and become immortal in the shortest time possible.

But then i started thinking about what’s the point of having to deal with this rough and harsh world and universe forever. when i can just kill myself right now and die in the astral and i will never have to suffer in anyway anymore.

So what do you think?

You'll never suffer but you'll never be satisfied either. It will just be nothing. Exactly how it was before you were ever born. Suffering is inseparable from life.

I was thinking that if I was immortal then on a long enough timeline my odds of committing suicide would reach 100%, because at some point you will have learned & experienced pretty much everything that's worth experiencing to you. If nothing new and stimulating is left for you then life becomes a boring grind, just an eternal "meh, seen it". This is where children come in since it's a way for you to re-rexperience the wonder and curiosity you once had. So if we lived in a healthy society then maybe this would never be a concern.

Other than that it's suicide and rebirth so that you'd have a chance to experience everything for the first time again. But
maybe you wouldn't have that either after a point, since past life amnesia seems to be a symptom of spiritual degeneration.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I think, would you prefer to be an eagle or a rat?

 

[Harry]

I think you should consider seeking professional help to deal with this suicidal mindset of yours.

They just try to sell me some pills.

 

[Shael]

I was thinking that if I was immortal then on a long enough timeline my odds of committing suicide would reach 100%, because at some point you will have learned & experienced pretty much everything that's worth experiencing to you. If nothing new and stimulating is left for you then life becomes a boring grind, just an eternal "meh, seen it".

If you were to attain godhead (or even just a moderate level of overall advancement and soul-cleansing), then your thoughts of suicide would already diminish to near zero in the first place. A fully opened and empowered 7th chakra, as well as pineal gland secreting ambrosia, will give so much more pleasure to your existence itself. 99.99999% of people who healthily reach such a state and are on Satan's side would never ever consider suicide or want to die.

After a certain point in advancement, the simple act of living and working on yourself just starts to feel really good and satisfying. And this only gets better and better as you become stronger. There is no "deadline" at which you will get 'bored'. The universe is infinite and there are infinite things to invent, explore, and experience.

 

[SilentFlame]

So I’m was planning on how i’m going to advance in every way and become immortal in the shortest time possible.

But then i started thinking about what’s the point of having to deal with this rough and harsh world and universe forever. when i can just kill myself right now and die in the astral and i will never have to suffer in anyway anymore.

So what do you think?

You say that all existence is meaningless and say you should erase yourself, but that is really going to be a horrible idea for you and anyone close to you that will produce nothing but suffering. Meanwhile, there is an objectively existing possibility that you empower your soul and also improve the lives of hundreds of other people by showing them the path to advancement through anonymous means online, allowing them to obtain control over their soul and increase the health of their consciousness incredibly. The anonymous part is very important, do not use your real name or do anything stupid.

Now imagine a future timeline where you realize what a vast net benefit you have produced for this number of people and find out how many people think your assistance was incredibly meaningful to them. In this situation, would you seriously still say that your existence is objectively meaningless? Even if you only awakened just 5 people to the truth, one of those 5 could be someone who awakens 100, 10 of whom each awaken another 10 and eventually reach someone who makes an even bigger impact through the chain reaction. The spread of knowledge can be exponential, even the smallest effort can make an unpredictably large difference.

Meanwhile there's a second possible future where you kill yourself. It would be a pretty bad experience for you, most likely, you would end up horribly regretting it in the afterlife and realize just how much you screwed yourself with no way of fixing it. Your parent(s) and siblings could be overwhelmed by grief and you'd objectively be causing a whole lot of harm to those around you. I'm sure you'd hurt a good number of people and make their lives feel much more meaningless, all because you didn't want to feel pain anymore, when that loss of pain is the opposite of what would truly happen.

There are already many people alive who are very meaningful to others and can increase their level of meaning to them greatly, spiritual practice only makes the advancement of humanity much easier. Please don't kill yourself. It's the worst decision you could possibly make. If you really want to know the nature of all reality and truly determine whether or not it has any objective meaning, trying to kill yourself and wipe away all your knowledge and intellect is never going to get you what you want.

 

[ShadowTheRaven]

Before finding out about Satanism I thought the best outcome for this planet and the universe was total destruction because I thought humans (and everyone in the universe) were evil. That was before finding out that Yehuborim are not human.

I guess I wasn't the only one who converted with a misanthropic attitude and had that washed away in mere months after learning the truth.

 

[Windstrider666]

Depending on someones level of consciousness the way one perceives ideas, notions, and the things in front of them will change. At a low level one cannot comprehend certain ideas and beliefs. The thought of existing forever to someone that always suffers and is unable to get out of said suffering must seem like a sort of punishment and death seems like a wonderful alternative to it. Someone who only suffers are those that are ignorant and weak. They cannot perceive anything other than suffering.

As one improves upon themselves and uplift their energies they learn that there isn't only suffering. Still, they are not yet capable of keeping on track and only "dream" of being happy rather than taking the steps to be happy.

Finally one elevates themselves to learn how to deal with suffering. Not all forms of suffering are inherently negative. One will always face resistance regardless of what they do as action takes energy. Suffering never disappears completely but it does lessen to an extent. One accepts that suffering exists but they accept happiness also exists and they strive towards happiness rather than wallowing in suffering. They both have suffering but the difference between the two is which side you work towards and which one is an afterthought.

So to answer your question of what is the point of existing and evolving forever, well, its something you have to decide. No one can force an ideal or belief on you. You have to decide for yourself. What within you is your foundation. Yourself? Your family? Your race? Your way of life? Whatever it may be it must be something that you have decided. Over time you can add more reasons to it. The more you elevate yourself and your consciousness the more things will matter to you. The more things that become important to you the more you will need to elevate yourself. Its an eternal loop of upward advancement.

 

[Seby]

Before finding out about Satanism I thought the best outcome for this planet and the universe was total destruction because I thought humans (and everyone in the universe) were evil. That was before finding out that Yehuborim are not human.

I guess I wasn't the only one who converted with a misanthropic attitude and had that washed away in mere months after learning the truth.

I'm not sure if misanthropic is the right word. I firmly believed that life is suffering and the best thing that could happen is to end it. That was before finding out about the Gods.

 

[FancyMancy]

Before finding out about Satanism I thought the best outcome for this planet and the universe was total destruction because I thought humans (and everyone in the universe) were evil. That was before finding out that Yehuborim are not human.

I guess I wasn't the only one who converted with a misanthropic attitude and had that washed away in mere months after learning the truth.

I'm not sure if misanthropic is the right word. I firmly believed that life is suffering and the best thing that could happen is to end it. That was before finding out about the Gods.

Philanthrope.

 

[Legendary Creature]

I think you should consider seeking professional help to deal with this suicidal mindset of yours.

They just try to sell me some pills.

There are medical conditions that can cause such a mindset, though. Not all of medical science is quackery.

 

[Desdemona_666]

Because...



Every day is a new day, and every day is an opportunity to see and experience something new in this infinite universe.



Seeing the Universe as an endless meadow full of flowers, with every of one having its own unique smell, you need eternity to smell them all. Every droplet of dew has its own taste, and there are so many...


In infinite Universe, there are infinite possibilities. That’s why you need to live long enough to experience everything this Universe offers you. Even the eternal life might not be enough.



So, only those who are ungrateful to be alive are the ones who are ungrateful of something as immortality. To us who appreciate life, there is no bigger gift we can receive than being immortal. That is why we are eternally grateful to Father Satan! Forever!



Start appreciating life, and you will see what immortality can give you.

 

[Length]

Once a wolf tried to jump and eat the grapes that were hanging above him wondering how sweet and delicious they would taste. But then this Buddhist came along and told the wolf that no matter what he did he would still suffer searching for food everyday of his life. So the wolf intellectually thought that since theres no point to living and advancing and maybe the grapes are sour to self rationalize then he fucking died from hunger. Little did the young wolf know that eating those sweet grapes would elevate all of his suffering forever.

1)Suffering is caused due to lack of power. Since your consciousness and your body are so weak the dual nature of the world affects you in a karmic loop. The human mind hopes for happiness and joy but does not want to suffer. Without suffering, there would be no joy and without pain there would be no happiness. This is an inherent contradiction of emotion,of the feeling brain and the thinking brain. Without losers, there are no victors and without darkness there is no light. Hate is born out of the desire to protect love and revenge is the manifestation of that hate that breeds more hate and continues endlessly in a karmic cycle.

2) The elimination of emotions and feelings, the elimination of consciousness does not only elevate suffering, it elevates also happiness and extinguishes your entire being. The energy that is being manifested in the vibrational level, the mental level as consciousness. If you extinguish it, your existence is extinct. Prolonging suffering doesn't work either.

3) There is no method for elevating suffering found in philosophy, both in the far east and in the west. Acceptance of the state of the world is the first step towards self actualization. The only way to eliminate suffering is to rise above it, rise your consciousness above it and your consciousness changes how you perceive things. The only way out is the energetic tantric path. After the kundalini rises, everything changes. The Gods who transcend our state of being are on a different plane of existence. The way you perceive and feel things are different on that plane of existence. Reach that and then theorize if astral and physical immorality were really worth it or not.

Having to "suffer" so you can get joy or happiness sounds retarded. Hate being born out of the desire to protect love as you stated is also wrong. it gets into "muh feelings" from which you can gather from an attack of constantly screaming about love and how everything in life deals with finding the perfect love or issues with love like in a lot music today. it can be right in a sense as there are some examples that can be put out like loving your nation and race and fighting to protect them and having an extreme amount of hatred with anything that contradicts. but the way you put it is jewy. also, the hate breeding more hate sounds like the crap from comic strips and batman where the goal is not to become like "them" which ties you into becoming a victim. this view of the "karsmic cycle" ties in to the three- fold wiccan crap of negative things turning back around and effecting you in some negative way which is also wrong. if Spiritual Satanist didn't exist the Yehubor would already have claimed this world and the universe simply wouldn't care. obviously if you dont clean and get rid of negative residue like attracts like in that sense but as a whole is doesnt have to be that way meaning nothing is fixed until the making.

Eliminating consciousness is eliminating the "I", the self, the ego, the personality, whatever you want to call it. Eliminating your self does removes you from suffering because your not there to experience the suffering- the attack of the enemy. without a mind or a sense of self there is nothing there, so obviously there would be a sense of relief of this non existence as this non existence plays upon itself and leaves you idle which is the attack. they dont wont us alive, conscious or moving for that matter. Our sole existence is what the enemy targets and try to get rid of so following along their steps naturally grabs some relief or feel to it as this is what they want. they want you dead. if you were a good goy little slave. then you can dream in your dream state and become victim to the enemy and drown with a smile if thats what they wanted. you become disposable trash to which all that you is (not) is manipulated and given to you, which is the purpose of the microchip of the enemy which this nirvana suicide suffering crap ties into. its letting the enemy god "take the wheel" as xians say.

Acceptance is total bullshit. its extremely bullshit on every level and is nothing but crap from the enemy. If you except that which is contradictory you're pretty much opening the door for bullshit to happen and maintain in this world. Any amount of acceptance is what causes bullshit to gravitate towards you. thinking of the world and accepting its condition is preposterous. actuality or the making or being of things are in reason which shall and is being completely handle and fought against (positive affirmations) in every positive safe way. meaning- that there is a reason for negative things happening and the core of those reasons must but destroyed to overcome its effect. Self actualization or in this case Realization is just being observant. its your 5 sense plus one more through spiritual empowerment as well as meditations that allow you to see and witness the makings of anything from which you can began to act on if you want to change it.

 

[Azorm]

You just keep trolling all the time...

 

[High Priest Zevios Metathronos]

The question is since the universe is by itself infinite, and is Aether based, ie, infinity based, what is the purpose of death in this case?

There is no real reason to "die", unless one would choose this consciously for some strange reason to eradicate themselves out of existence, which is mentally sick and absurd.

 

[BoRn of fire]

It would b fuckn awesome in my opinion

 

[Taurus]

You know that's funny i made a similar post to yours not too long ago. i realized since then that if i had the option to die body and soul right now i would feel bad. i would miss the good moments of life that everyone suffers and dies for. what are people who survive atrocities thinking when they just go and start a family after? why don't they just kill themselves? life is precious, it is worth suffering for. with this knowledge you have responsibility now, if you suicide, think of all the innocent people and animals your leaving behind...you have to save them. Thats what i think.

i've also decided i dont care to become a god or progressing more than necessary. i do my part of rtr's everyday to help the world and some other things. im content with being a human being on earth because i know life will be nice in the future because of rtr's, but im sure im ignorant on some things, im still learning. take from this what you will man. good luck.

 

[Length]

Once a wolf tried to jump and eat the grapes that were hanging above him wondering how sweet and delicious they would taste. But then this Buddhist came along and told the wolf that no matter what he did he would still suffer searching for food everyday of his life. So the wolf intellectually thought that since theres no point to living and advancing and maybe the grapes are sour to self rationalize then he fucking died from hunger. Little did the young wolf know that eating those sweet grapes would elevate all of his suffering forever.

1)Suffering is caused due to lack of power. Since your consciousness and your body are so weak the dual nature of the world affects you in a karmic loop. The human mind hopes for happiness and joy but does not want to suffer. Without suffering, there would be no joy and without pain there would be no happiness. This is an inherent contradiction of emotion,of the feeling brain and the thinking brain. Without losers, there are no victors and without darkness there is no light. Hate is born out of the desire to protect love and revenge is the manifestation of that hate that breeds more hate and continues endlessly in a karmic cycle.

2) The elimination of emotions and feelings, the elimination of consciousness does not only elevate suffering, it elevates also happiness and extinguishes your entire being. The energy that is being manifested in the vibrational level, the mental level as consciousness. If you extinguish it, your existence is extinct. Prolonging suffering doesn't work either.

3) There is no method for elevating suffering found in philosophy, both in the far east and in the west. Acceptance of the state of the world is the first step towards self actualization. The only way to eliminate suffering is to rise above it, rise your consciousness above it and your consciousness changes how you perceive things. The only way out is the energetic tantric path. After the kundalini rises, everything changes. The Gods who transcend our state of being are on a different plane of existence. The way you perceive and feel things are different on that plane of existence. Reach that and then theorize if astral and physical immorality were really worth it or not.

Having to "suffer" so you can get joy or happiness sounds retarded. Hate being born out of the desire to protect love as you stated is also wrong. it gets into "muh feelings" from which you can gather from an attack of constantly screaming about love and how everything in life deals with finding the perfect love or issues with love like in a lot music today. it can be right in a sense as there are some examples that can be put out like loving your nation and race and fighting to protect them and having an extreme amount of hatred with anything that contradicts. but the way you put it is jewy. also, the hate breeding more hate sounds like the crap from comic strips and batman where the goal is not to become like "them" which ties you into becoming a victim. this view of the "karsmic cycle" ties in to the three- fold wiccan crap of negative things turning back around and effecting you in some negative way which is also wrong. if Spiritual Satanist didn't exist the Yehubor would already have claimed this world and the universe simply wouldn't care. obviously if you dont clean and get rid of negative residue like attracts like in that sense but as a whole is doesnt have to be that way meaning nothing is fixed until the making.

Eliminating consciousness is eliminating the "I", the self, the ego, the personality, whatever you want to call it. Eliminating your self does removes you from suffering because your not there to experience the suffering- the attack of the enemy. without a mind or a sense of self there is nothing there, so obviously there would be a sense of relief of this non existence as this non existence plays upon itself and leaves you idle which is the attack. they dont wont us alive, conscious or moving for that matter. Our sole existence is what the enemy targets and try to get rid of so following along their steps naturally grabs some relief or feel to it as this is what they want. they want you dead. if you were a good goy little slave. then you can dream in your dream state and become victim to the enemy and drown with a smile if thats what they wanted. you become disposable trash to which all that you is (not) is manipulated and given to you, which is the purpose of the microchip of the enemy which this nirvana suicide suffering crap ties into. its letting the enemy god "take the wheel" as xians say.

Acceptance is total bullshit. its extremely bullshit on every level and is nothing but crap from the enemy. If you except that which is contradictory you're pretty much opening the door for bullshit to happen and maintain in this world. Any amount of acceptance is what causes bullshit to gravitate towards you. thinking of the world and accepting its condition is preposterous. actuality or the making or being of things are in reason which shall and is being completely handle and fought against (positive affirmations) in every positive safe way. meaning- that there is a reason for negative things happening and the core of those reasons must but destroyed to overcome its effect. Self actualization or in this case Realization is just being observant. its your 5 sense plus one more through spiritual empowerment as well as meditations that allow you to see and witness the makings of anything from which you can began to act on if you want to change it.

That's why I said ,philosophy is bullshit. And everything I wrote comes from vedantic philosophy. It's not something I believe, it's something intellectual pandering leads to.

As I said the only correct path is the energetic tantric path.

philosophy is the thought of life. the dictionary states philosophy as: the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline.

 

[Seby]

Modern philosophers are just people that express mediocre or dumb thoughts in ways to look intellectual and profound.

 

[Low Priest]

How would I know I'm dead?

 

[Darksage666]

I feel like people who talk like this and ask questions like this don’t really spend time empowering their chakras and cleansing themselves spiritually, which is what Satanism is about.

Because every time I empower and cleanse my soul, my consciousness expands IE my perception changes and I’m happy and grateful to be alive here on earth as a Satanist and realize all the capabilities that we have as humans who are continuously empowering ourselves.

 

[FancyMancy]

How would I know I'm dead?

If your Physical Body has deceased, then you might notice and realise such by not being in your Physical Body and/or by how people are crying over it, it being in a morgue or a funeral home, coffin/ground or cremation chamber/urn/scattered somewhere.

 

[Harry]

I would like to thank everyone for the help.

What made me hopeless and suicidal was seeing everything around me at a deeper level like seeing all the shit around me and in the world at a deeper view or a deeper perception and what made it harder on me was only finding shit. Everywhere i looked i only found shit, which wasn't easy.

Which made me feel that nothing is going to change from how disgusting it is.

BTW what i mean by "shit" are the effects of the enemy on everyone around me and on the world.

But now i feel a sense of responsibility to advance in power and to start to change all the shit to sweet and beautiful cupcakes.

want to see some cupcakes? https://duckduckgo.com/?q=cupcakes&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images

 

[Low Priest]

How would I know I'm dead?

If your Physical Body has deceased, then you might notice and realise such by not being in your Physical Body and/or by how people are crying over it, it being in a morgue or a funeral home, coffin/ground or cremation chamber/urn/scattered somewhere.

Once time I did drugs(I'm sober now) I was about 15 and I felt like I experienced multiple selves, which should have been relieving but since I'm negative, it was hell I remember one of my selves committing suicide and being in excruciating terror that I was still here via my other selves. Ever since then ive been stuck in a delusion of life.(maybe because the experience made me hold on to life so hard that I created a delusion of a secure isolated existence

 

[FancyMancy]

How would I know I'm dead?

If your Physical Body has deceased, then you might notice and realise such by not being in your Physical Body and/or by how people are crying over it, it being in a morgue or a funeral home, coffin/ground or cremation chamber/urn/scattered somewhere.

Once time I did drugs(I'm sober now) I was about 15 and I felt like I experienced multiple selves, which should have been relieving but since I'm negative, it was hell I remember one of my selves committing suicide and being in excruciating terror that I was still here via my other selves. Ever since then ive been stuck in a delusion of life.(maybe because the experience made me hold on to life so hard that I created a delusion of a secure isolated existence

Yeah, drugs do put holes in your Soul and Aura, and what can fill that literal void?! It can take years or lifetimes to just undo that damage alone, before continuing on to improve and advance and empower yourself. Similar can be said for so-called medicines, but I am not a medical/pharmaceutical professional, so I can't advise to not use those; except, perhaps, to reduce them very, very slowly over a prolonged period of time while doing research and also doing proper meditations carefully and slowly (the Physical and Spiritual Bodies need time to adjust, and doing things too quickly - even for a fit and healthy person - could have damaging effects or worse, or worse still; you don't want to tear your Spiritual muscles, pull your Spiritual hamstring, snap your Spiritual Achilles tendon, so to speak).

Of course, stopping using narcotics should be done straight away; not using them at all should be done already and repeatedly. Once marijuana/cannabis is legalised everywhere, then it will be discovered that cocaine has health benefits...

 

[Low Priest]

If your Physical Body has deceased, then you might notice and realise such by not being in your Physical Body and/or by how people are crying over it, it being in a morgue or a funeral home, coffin/ground or cremation chamber/urn/scattered somewhere.

Once time I did drugs(I'm sober now) I was about 15 and I felt like I experienced multiple selves, which should have been relieving but since I'm negative, it was hell I remember one of my selves committing suicide and being in excruciating terror that I was still here via my other selves. Ever since then ive been stuck in a delusion of life.(maybe because the experience made me hold on to life so hard that I created a delusion of a secure isolated existence

Yeah, drugs do put holes in your Soul and Aura, and what can fill that literal void?! It can take years or lifetimes to just undo that damage alone, before continuing on to improve and advance and empower yourself. Similar can be said for so-called medicines, but I am not a medical/pharmaceutical professional, so I can't advise to not use those; except, perhaps, to reduce them very, very slowly over a prolonged period of time while doing research and also doing proper meditations carefully and slowly (the Physical and Spiritual Bodies need time to adjust, and doing things too quickly - even for a fit and healthy person - could have damaging effects or worse, or worse still; you don't want to tear your Spiritual muscles, pull your Spiritual hamstring, snap your Spiritual Achilles tendon, so to speak).

Of course, stopping using narcotics should be done straight away; not using them at all should be done already and repeatedly. Once marijuana/cannabis is legalised everywhere, then it will be discovered that cocaine has health benefits...

Yeah I stopped all drugs months ago...how do I know how severe my spiritual damage is??? Because I hear I'm pretty rotten so this worries me. I hope it's not a whole lifetime work of damage or that would suck

 

[FancyMancy]

Once time I did drugs(I'm sober now) I was about 15 and I felt like I experienced multiple selves, which should have been relieving but since I'm negative, it was hell I remember one of my selves committing suicide and being in excruciating terror that I was still here via my other selves. Ever since then ive been stuck in a delusion of life.(maybe because the experience made me hold on to life so hard that I created a delusion of a secure isolated existence

Yeah, drugs do put holes in your Soul and Aura, and what can fill that literal void?! It can take years or lifetimes to just undo that damage alone, before continuing on to improve and advance and empower yourself. Similar can be said for so-called medicines, but I am not a medical/pharmaceutical professional, so I can't advise to not use those; except, perhaps, to reduce them very, very slowly over a prolonged period of time while doing research and also doing proper meditations carefully and slowly (the Physical and Spiritual Bodies need time to adjust, and doing things too quickly - even for a fit and healthy person - could have damaging effects or worse, or worse still; you don't want to tear your Spiritual muscles, pull your Spiritual hamstring, snap your Spiritual Achilles tendon, so to speak).

Of course, stopping using narcotics should be done straight away; not using them at all should be done already and repeatedly. Once marijuana/cannabis is legalised everywhere, then it will be discovered that cocaine has health benefits...

Yeah I stopped all drugs months ago...how do I know how severe my spiritual damage is??? Because I hear I'm pretty rotten so this worries me. I hope it's not a whole lifetime work of damage or that would suck

Practice and see if you can do anything. It could take years or lifetimes to fix. If you enjoy procrastinating, then the Chinese would tell you that the best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. It might seem like a long way to go to fix things in years or lifetimes, but a journey of a thousand miles begins a single step. Only you can do things.