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Update and a couple personal questions

Kingfisher3 min to read

Hi all,

I hope you all are well and blessed. I ask these questions humbly as a struggling Zevist. I have tried to be very respectful, but mods please edit this message if needed. I earnestly want to continue on this path and hope the Temple still has a place for me. I've been able to find work, praise the Gods, and plan to start donating again soon, once my financial situation is a bit stable. But I admit I have been struggling a lot with my sobriety and spirituality, and in the past few years I've just gotten a lot of bad breaks. It's been rough, going from high-volume donations consistently and starting to like myself a little bit, then going completely broke, and (in the past few months alone) overdosing, an involuntary psychiatric commitment, and being basically homeless (living in a halfway house) for several months). I'm not trying to say I'm the best or most put-upon person ever (I'm definitely no hero), but it's important to me to express that I am a genuine Zevist, and that part of my situation is due in part to the fact that I've had a lot of rough breaks (and have also, admittedly, made a some bad choices).

I still question whether I can be accepted, and I'm tired of feeling lonely and inferior. I'm 30 years old and desperately want to start dating, but I've always been extremely worried that I'll offend the Gods or get punished by Them for such things, maybe it stems from my catholic (and extremely repressive) upbringing. I'm very afraid of being punished or rejected by the Gods. But I'm lonely and want to at least dip my toe in the dating pool. I think girls are amazing and I crave intimacy and connection. But I still sometimes hate myself and feel inferior. I hope it's okay to talk about this-I'm not trying to make this political, so please edit this if necessary. I really agree with the recent changes, but I may have swung back too far the other way personally. Even though spirituality and the Gods were always central, I will admit that I used to be quite political and even kinda bigoted, my ego didn't help me see clearly. But even though I'm glad to be non-political now, I have a ton of guilt over my prior beliefs and in general. I don't like being a white male-sometimes I question if I should transition so I can be a better gender. I feel like I'm not recognized for being a "Real Man", but I still get the negative parts of the male identity, I see my "masculinity" or lack thereof in a pretty negative light. Throughout my life I've often questioned if I should exist and felt like I shouldn't. And I'm worried that I'll be rejected spiritually over my current identity.

I hope it's okay to post this, I thank the members who invited me to provide updates on my recovery. I really want to be a sober, productive Zevist. But I am scared and really struggling. Thank you to this community and its amazing members (especially the clergy). May the Gods be praised always.

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#1
This is the targeted message.

First of all, the Gods does not punish anyone for not being consistent with their life. We are the one punishing ourselves. The Gods are always there and we need to become a vessel to receive their blessings as written by our HP Zevios Metathronos here:

Since you are bringing your christian past, you need to deprogram from chrisitianity:

Do not despair, everyone here have difficulties, you have made the first step by recongnizing it. Everyone must descent to learn and began their ascension.

Good luck.

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#2

Hi, first of all good to have you back here. I think it will help your situation to connect with the community.

For dating first off, you can clearly see, admit it, that it's just your bullshit. Whatever causing you to have these negative feelings towards dating is obviously just some negative residue and has nothing to do with the truth. You probably feel, hence you want a relationship, that your life is not whole without it.

You have definitely done a lot of manly things in your life so far but you are forgetting this because your current emotional state. In any ways, let's define what would make YOU a man or more of a man, what can you even do right now, the next little step to become a man. It will not be easy but that's exactly what will make you a man and make you feel like it when you reach your goals and come out on top, so embrace the struggle.

Moreover, I think a lot of materials from the Temple of Zeus will help you, the information alone as well because truth leaves a permanent mark, and it have also never been easier to start meditating based on the instructions on the site. Start with the shortest routine and slowly, slowly work your way up, every day you complete your meditation, you know you already did something great for yourself today. And never think starting with the little and the beginner is not good enough, in fact, it's much better that you are not ego meditating and you follow the natural flow of things.

Wish you the bests!

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#3

I still question whether I can be accepted, and I'm tired of feeling lonely and inferior. I'm 30 years old and desperately want to start dating, but I've always been extremely worried that I'll offend the Gods or get punished by Them for such things, maybe it stems from my catholic (and extremely repressive) upbringing. I'm very afraid of being punished or rejected by the Gods. But I'm lonely and want to at least dip my toe in the dating pool. I think girls are amazing and I crave intimacy and connection. But I still sometimes hate myself and feel inferior.

Hello brother,

There is absolutely no reason to feel guilt for craving intimacy and connection, that's the most natural thing for a human being. I wanted to stop by to say, there are some amazing girls and some horrible ones. Most of them, like any random man, have hopes and fears, good and bad qualities, they are just humans. You don't need to fear a punishment from Gods and you shouldn't have a feeling of inferiority, just be realistic about your situation and try to get better so you will have better prospects.

The negative feelings you have will not go away by trying to change your gender, it is just another way of harming yourself. I'm sorry you feel like you are not recognized for being a real man, insight of men in our community will be probably more helpful than me.

Please do keep updating us on your recovery.

by Pamela

''Muhtaç olduğun kudret, damarlarındaki asil kanda mevcuttur.''

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