SigTyr
Member
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2020
- Messages
- 210
By writing this post I want to make a bad example of myself. Don't be like me.
My whole life I was avoiding responsibilities like a plague.
Instead of accepting me being wrong, I'd rather try again to prove that I am not, even if this will result astronomical fuck up, it still won't prevents me from escaping this infinite cycle. I always blame someone else, place I've been born in, my family, the enemy for corrupting me and the close ones, sometimes even Demons for not helping me, but the only one to blame is me. Even being born in the place I was, it's result of avoiding facing consequences by suicide...Some attacks of the enemies succeed only because I've chosen to be weak a that particular moment.
For example I blamed my father for bringing me to church with powerful xian relic that fucked up my chakras and made me lose self-awareness for almost 13 years. But I just didn't fight enough. I've chosen to trust him and to hope that it may fix all my problems. And If I analyze most of those events that fucked up my life, it was me who was making the final choice to be weak.
Most of blocks and obstacles in my path are result of me "knowing better" then anyone. I was always looking for an easy way. I was always looking for a shortcuts. Imagine development as a path up the mountain. Instead of going forward, knowing it is hard, I was trying to build a "home made helicopter" from all the parts I have, so I would fly straight to the top. But I never did, I was always shot down and instead of giving up and doing things as I've been told, I was stubborn enough to try again and again, just to prove that I am smarter.
Ironically, I was lucky enough to start a little bit further away then most people, in any possible aspect of live, but I never valued that and took that for granted. I thought that I can be easy on myself and in the very last moment come up with some solution to fix anything, and it worked quite a lot, but once it didn't, and now all those people, who I was laughing at for being far behind almighty me already passed me by and I was left *here* alone.
Many of you have trouble of communicating with Demons, while I was given a fucking medium, who were able to host Demons for me. And guess what? I was asking for fucking shortcuts, for magical fixes of my problems. And when I didn't get an answer I was hoping so, I was inviting different Demon and trying to mask my questions/requests in a slightly different way, hoping for a different results.
I am a very lazy person, who takes everything for granted, until it's taken away... Why need to learn to communicate with Demons if you have a medium? Why do all the hardwork of fixing myrself, as it's totally my fault, if I can just ask for help?
And by help I mean, do some kind of attemp to show that I am actually trying and relax as soon as I receive any helping hand a sit there and wait until it's all done for me.
Instead of removing chakras blocks with proper meditation, I was able to create some kind of chakra " temporary replacement" instead. I was able to "advance" by cheating and finding "smarter ways", and I was able to achieve some results even, but I hit a wall and there is no way bypassing it, I need to go back and start over...
There are no shortcuts on the path of spiritual development, they will all make you go around and you will return exactly to the moment where you decided to cheat. By trying to be "smarter" you will end up making circles and if you have a shitty personality like me, you will end up being mad looking for those who are responsible, while you are the only one to blame.
If something looks to easy, or word "beginner" offends you, don't skip steps straight to advanced. Warning there placed for a reason. If you try to jump over the stairs you may actually fuck up from the ladder.
Don't rely on help.
Demons will slightly push you, while you will be doing all the hard work, they will support you and guide you, but they won't do it for you.
Don't try to cheat them or anyone, as you will end up cheating yourself.
I hope it will help some people not to waste as much time as I did at critical times like this...
My whole life I was avoiding responsibilities like a plague.
Instead of accepting me being wrong, I'd rather try again to prove that I am not, even if this will result astronomical fuck up, it still won't prevents me from escaping this infinite cycle. I always blame someone else, place I've been born in, my family, the enemy for corrupting me and the close ones, sometimes even Demons for not helping me, but the only one to blame is me. Even being born in the place I was, it's result of avoiding facing consequences by suicide...Some attacks of the enemies succeed only because I've chosen to be weak a that particular moment.
For example I blamed my father for bringing me to church with powerful xian relic that fucked up my chakras and made me lose self-awareness for almost 13 years. But I just didn't fight enough. I've chosen to trust him and to hope that it may fix all my problems. And If I analyze most of those events that fucked up my life, it was me who was making the final choice to be weak.
Most of blocks and obstacles in my path are result of me "knowing better" then anyone. I was always looking for an easy way. I was always looking for a shortcuts. Imagine development as a path up the mountain. Instead of going forward, knowing it is hard, I was trying to build a "home made helicopter" from all the parts I have, so I would fly straight to the top. But I never did, I was always shot down and instead of giving up and doing things as I've been told, I was stubborn enough to try again and again, just to prove that I am smarter.
Ironically, I was lucky enough to start a little bit further away then most people, in any possible aspect of live, but I never valued that and took that for granted. I thought that I can be easy on myself and in the very last moment come up with some solution to fix anything, and it worked quite a lot, but once it didn't, and now all those people, who I was laughing at for being far behind almighty me already passed me by and I was left *here* alone.
Many of you have trouble of communicating with Demons, while I was given a fucking medium, who were able to host Demons for me. And guess what? I was asking for fucking shortcuts, for magical fixes of my problems. And when I didn't get an answer I was hoping so, I was inviting different Demon and trying to mask my questions/requests in a slightly different way, hoping for a different results.
I am a very lazy person, who takes everything for granted, until it's taken away... Why need to learn to communicate with Demons if you have a medium? Why do all the hardwork of fixing myrself, as it's totally my fault, if I can just ask for help?
And by help I mean, do some kind of attemp to show that I am actually trying and relax as soon as I receive any helping hand a sit there and wait until it's all done for me.
Instead of removing chakras blocks with proper meditation, I was able to create some kind of chakra " temporary replacement" instead. I was able to "advance" by cheating and finding "smarter ways", and I was able to achieve some results even, but I hit a wall and there is no way bypassing it, I need to go back and start over...
There are no shortcuts on the path of spiritual development, they will all make you go around and you will return exactly to the moment where you decided to cheat. By trying to be "smarter" you will end up making circles and if you have a shitty personality like me, you will end up being mad looking for those who are responsible, while you are the only one to blame.
If something looks to easy, or word "beginner" offends you, don't skip steps straight to advanced. Warning there placed for a reason. If you try to jump over the stairs you may actually fuck up from the ladder.
Don't rely on help.
Demons will slightly push you, while you will be doing all the hard work, they will support you and guide you, but they won't do it for you.
Don't try to cheat them or anyone, as you will end up cheating yourself.
I hope it will help some people not to waste as much time as I did at critical times like this...
![Blitzkreig [TG]](/data/avatars/s/21/21286.jpg?1738971726){kind=avatar}