Νίκος said:
I had the same thoughts!Do more rituals than you do right now !I have noticed the Ending confusion ritual is very effective!If even that doesn't help you can also talk to father satan or an other demon you know !
Thank you for deciding to speak up.
It really helped me ... knowing that I'm not the only one with that kind of issues.
Since then one particular time I not event ask Demons for help just said I'm sorry.
During ritual everything around me went deep-dark and only what i saw was candle in front of me.
I felt extreme bioelectricity around me. Then my thoughts changed from blasphemous to ridicule.
Even with Demon present! In mean time my mind was changing focus. Moving away from blasphemy
to RTR itself. I felt odd I really wanted to quit. Cursing our Gods where they are present are not wise.
I heard voice it's fine continue ... everything will be alright. And I successfully finished RTR.
I felt really odd. I decide to meditate on this. I realize that I have a lot of buried anger deep inside me
and christian programme (self-destrucion) was behind that riddiculling Demon.
On subconcious level I want that present Demon to destroy me.
And as I'm writing this down. I realize Dedication was my best decision in my life.
HAIL SATAN!
HAIL GODS!