Please Help I Dont Think This Is Normal

[Jake Lopez]

Please bare with me i feel like
Im losing my mind i dont know what to do but i know i have alot to take care of
I got different people inside me
One part of me wants to love a girl soooo much! but another dosent want me to and keeps me away
extremly alot of pain and rage
i turn my depression in to rage and it feels like im feeding a beast inside me and he wants to be free but i keep fighting him to stay inside 
i know im not alone but i feel like i am all the time almost like im lost and no one is guideing me but i know were im going but not sure il make it
everytime somethin good happens or i get happy theres always somthin that comes back in a negitive way its like i pay for bein happy
ive never had a big experiece with demons or father like i read from the other jos members and i seriously try my best in everything
i been dedicated for 10 months now its going to be 11 on the 19th i try my best to do a ritual atleast 1once every week, i pray when i can, i meditate on a daily bases on my chakras, do yoga when i can, clean my aura and chakra spin and still feel all this! And this is just the main things rightnow theres alot more to it. If you have any idea whats goin on with me Please contatct me. sometimes i dont get emails back on here for some reason so if you really want to reach out to me heres my facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000561670626 add me and message me dont let the pics fool you im very good at hideing all this. I hate askn for help or to be a bother to my brothers and sisters but idk how much more i can take of this.
 
Hail Father Satan
Hail Set

 

[Cody ----------]

<td val[/IMG]hay well i know alot of what your talking about i im in a somewhat simalir situation to you i feel the same way about a girl yet something inside me says no i also have the same rage problem as if something inside me is really pissed off and wants out, although i have been able to start to get on "good terms" with the thing inside of me over some time of course with meditating and focusing on talking to it. i have had some good experiances with Father Satan  although i think you havent because you are somewhat blocked by this thing inside you, plus the fact that depression lowers our bioeletric energy (the electricity nerves use to comunicate) which is what we use to do our magik. try tallking to it reasoning with it of course it may not work which is where a banishing ritual will come in handy

--- On Sun, 6/19/11, Jake Lopez <beast20999@... wrote:

From: Jake Lopez <beast20999@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Please Help I Dont Think This Is Normal
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, June 19, 2011, 12:43 AM

  Please bare with me i feel like
Im losing my mind i dont know what to do but i know i have alot to take care of
I got different people inside me
One part of me wants to love a girl soooo much! but another dosent want me to and keeps me away
extremly alot of pain and rage
i turn my depression in to rage and it feels like im feeding a beast inside me and he wants to be free but i keep fighting him to stay inside 
i know im not alone but i feel like i am all the time almost like im lost and no one is guideing me but i know were im going but not sure il make it
everytime somethin good happens or i get happy theres always somthin that comes back in a negitive way its like i pay for bein happy
ive never had a big experiece with demons or father like i read from the other jos members and i seriously try my best in everything
i been dedicated for 10 months now its going to be 11 on the 19th i try my best to do a ritual atleast 1once every week, i pray when i can, i meditate on a daily bases on my chakras, do yoga when i can, clean my aura and chakra spin and still feel all this! And this is just the main things rightnow theres alot more to it. If you have any idea whats goin on with me Please contatct me. sometimes i dont get emails back on here for some reason so if you really want to reach out to me heres my facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000561670626 add me and message me dont let the pics fool you im very good at hideing all this. I hate askn for help or to be a bother to my brothers and sisters but idk how much more i can take of this.
 
Hail Father Satan
Hail Set

[/TD]

 

[David1]

i hate to say this, but im not sure if there is anything wrong with you.

I personally think that your over-reacting to all this. somethings are meant to happen on there own time. you cant just force them to happen.

what i mean is, the things you are longing for, such as experiences with demons and lord Satan.

they happen on their own will. they will happen. but you cant hold a hunger for what will already happen. just chillax on this.

what you can do is what you are already doing. meditating.

try opening your chakras. communicating with your guardian. everything will happen in time.

But you have to open yourself to these things in the right way.

just meditate and focus on your chakras and getting spiritually stronger.

you dont pay for being happy in satanism. bad things just happen. it doesnt mean your paying for it. thats just wierd.

the Highway to hell is paved with hard work, and determination, and knowledge. sadly, all this doesnt happen in a day, or 11 months, or eleven years. it happens in a life time.

i dont mean to affend you, but I dont think you need to get depressed over some girl.

you can make things happen for yourself. but dont just feel bad because of one girl.

did you even ask her out?

your not alone. i just posted you a message. im giving you some advice
that will hopefully guide you.

as for this beast, I think that you are the beast.

but your not a beast, your just like us. i think that your rage and depression are unneccesary. just relax.

i personally think that there isnt anything wrong with you, i do think that you think about somethings to much than they already are.

but im honest, i do that sort of thing to.

Just focus on the important things in life,
im sorry to say,
the girl isnt important,
your rage isnt important(to some degreee)
your depression isnt important(to some degree)
but what is important, is what you want to achieve in life and your meditations.

so just focus on that, and all the good things you hunger for will come with it.

HOPE THIS HELPS
HAIL SATAN!!!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Jake Lopez <beast20999@... wrote:


Please bare with me i feel like
Im losing my mind i dont know what to do but i know i have alot to take care of
I got different people inside me
One part of me wants to love a girl soooo much! but another dosent want me to and keeps me away
extremly alot of pain and rage
i turn my depression in to rage and it feels like im feeding a beast inside me and he wants to be free but i keep fighting him to stay inside
i know im not alone but i feel like i am all the time almost like im lost and no one is guideing me but i know were im going but not sure il make it
everytime somethin good happens or i get happy theres always somthin that comes back in a negitive way its like i pay for bein happy
ive never had a big experiece with demons or father like i read from the other jos members and i seriously try my best in everything
i been dedicated for 10 months now its going to be 11 on the 19th i try my best to do a ritual atleast 1once every week, i pray when i can, i meditate on a daily bases on my chakras, do yoga when i can, clean my aura and chakra spin and still feel all this! And this is just the main things rightnow theres alot more to it. If you have any idea whats goin on with me Please contatct me. sometimes i dont get emails back on here for some reason so if you really want to reach out to me heres my facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000561670626 add me and message me dont let the pics fool you im very good at hideing all this. I hate askn for help or to be a bother to my brothers and sisters but idk how much more i can take of this.

Hail Father Satan
Hail Set