No where to belong

[dragon_eyes1867]

After reading, and studying, all from the JoS website, I still did not find that to be enough. After researching the Sumerian and Mesopotamian religion, aligning myself with their ideas, their beliefs, that still wasn't enough. A yearning or desire that can never be fulfilled. Even after the ritual, of allegiance to Satan, still does not feel complete. After hours upon hours of meditation, even after tapping into my kundalini (I wouldn't say awakened since that takes years, and even though I have reached a level of awareness, that still does not feel to be enough). A friend of mine stated (one who is familiar with the magickal arts and a very strong tarot card reader) that my destiny seems to be one of a purpose to always look for purpose. Even with Satan on my side, or so I hope, is that all I really have to look forward to? A nomad life style that wanders from place to place? With no real destiny and no real place in the world? Being attuned yet not to the physical and spiritual realm?
I have no where to belong. With being a pagan, then an atheist with nihilistic views, then back to paganism, then to being a spiritual satanist, it is as though, I am meant for nothing yet everything. Does that make sense? I am aware, I am awakened and yet, I am not.
Where to go from here. Any input would be appreciated.
-Kayla 

 

[thorodinsson]

Sounds like you have a lot of subconscious baggage and expectations. Spiritual Satanism is about finding your faults, and feeding them to the inner fire of growth and advancement. If you feel lonely, dwell in that. Make solitude a strength. An Zevism doesn't make friends, but allies. Get more active on the groups. Learn how to be strong all by yourself. You shouldn't feel compelled to be some kind of social butterfly. Do more void meditation, learn to love your inner darkness and the light of Lucifer will dawn within.

Satanama

 

[descipleofthegods13]

@Thorodinsson.

Spiritual Satanism is not a religion of darkness, it is a religion of Light. To the original poster. I suggest you talk to Satan about this. He showed me my life purpose and I didn't even ask. But if you are seeking purpose know that it is Satan that has a special purpose for us and is one of the reasons He made us.

Also, it sounds like you have some subconscious hangup with it never being enough. I suggest you get to the root of the problem by going into a decent trance and ask yourself then what is the root of what is going on. From there if you get a full answer you can obliterate the issue completely.

Just be patient on this path, true power does not come easily. Eventually you will reach a day when the seeming obsession goes away. On another note you can turn this after it is resolved into something positive. Use your will to keep gaining more Satanic knowledge, and personal power.

Hail Satan.

 

[dragon_eyes1867]

Yes, that's what had attracted me to Spiritual Satanism. In that regard I have managed clarity of the mind.
I certainly do practice void meditation and other forms of meditation. It definitely is not that I feel lonely either, nor am compelled to be a social butterfly. I live out in the middle of nowhere intentionally to avoid people. No, the point of the post is that I have an insatiable desire for more knowledge and attainable spiritual advancement in all aspects of life. As well, it seems I am not meant to be restricted by having a specific title pertaining to beliefs. Which I suppose with the title of "Spiritual" that is sufficient, and I should be happy with that.
Thank you for your response however. I'll continue searching and researching. 

 

[zolaluckystar1]

When I had reached a certain point in my own progression, Satan sent me this song which I knew was a communication from Him. It is very beautiful. And I feel I should send it to you. Take it as you will.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoneUSF ... 3&index=11

 

[Anthony Town]

I'm sure I'll get yelled at or deleted for this, but I hope you see it before it gets taken down; 
I used to feel exactly the same way, I floated from religion to religion, from JOS, to Wicca, to Christianity, none of them spoke to me. I really enjoyed Satanism until I saw what horrible hate this group preaches. I also wandered from place to place in the physical world. I hitched around the country, trying to find a place that spoke to my heart, and while I found some places that made me happy, none of them felt like home. I hopped from relationship to relationship the same way, looking for belonging in another person. Then it all changed. The driver of that Change? Buddhism. I was familiar with meditation from JOS, and through Meditation and exploration of what it means to be me I found my Joy. It didn't lie in my chakras and in magic, but in knowing myself and learning to see the world in the way that it is. Happiness lay in realizing that there was no one place or faith or person to belong to, that I already belonged, and didn't belong, both, at the same time, and that it was all in how I looked. Buddhism can change your heart, and your mind, and if you still want to practice the things you have learned here in the JOS, than go for it. Buddhism has nothing to do with gods or magic, but with the here and now, and with dealing with pain. Rescuing yourself from suffering, here, in this life, with your own strength, without gods or spells, is the name of the game. Give it a try, it's free, and you won't regret it.  



  When I had reached a certain point in my own progression, Satan sent me this song which I knew was a communication from Him. It is very beautiful. And I feel I should send it to you. Take it as you will.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoneUSF ... 3&index=11

 

[garciaeric268]

Anthony town. Buddhism is of the enemy and you will not advance in any way.
Joyofsatan helps you reach your fullest potential spiritually.
If you want to stay with buddhism fine, enjoy never advancing but dont brainshwash new members with your bullshit.

 

[Magus Immortalis]

Zolaluckystar, thank you so much for this song! I read the lyrics and they are so powerful. It's like Satan is speaking to each of us personally through this song and the lyrics.
Hail Satan



  Anthony town. Buddhism is of the enemy and you will not advance in any way.
Joyofsatan helps you reach your fullest potential spiritually.
If you want to stay with buddhism fine, enjoy never advancing but dont brainshwash new members with your bullshit.

 

[zolaluckystar1]

Awww....Desciple.....that is beautiful. I'm so happy for you and your Goddess! You said: "Did you know Father Satan is highly romantic and amazing in the field of love?" I didn't...but recently Lilith gave me a ton of information about herself which made it very obvious why she is Satans favorite wife. She is such a beautiful Being!
I had this feeling that that song was meant to be shared with my Zevism community. That Satan wanted others to hear it as well as myself. I was told to post it again. I'm really glad it resonated with some of you as it did for me

Magus, I know! I was at the Gallery and I was told: go into the back! Now! I go back there and as if Satan was waiting back there, the song began as I walked in. And it literally drove me to my knees in front of His Portrait which was there on the easel. I cried my ass off. I was kneeling there and listening to His words that struck through me like bolts of lightning and....yeah. 
Hail Satan Forever!
He is so awesome and wonderful! I was really moved.

 

[zolaluckystar1]

PS: yes, I know I sometimes lose my temper and I've gotten shit for it from Zevism friends! Its hard for me because I'm a fire sign and VERY passionate when it comes to the Gods and Satan. I get mad. I blow fire and then get over it. But I don't mean bad. That is, my intentions aren't bad. I'm trying to learn to not do that

 

[[email protected]]

@zola - Ref loosing your temper\nConsider the elements. Earth can balance fire and water is the opposite. Read up on it and do what is good for your balance.\n \n\nHail SatanHail Lilith\nDehna\n\nSent from Yahoo Mail on Android \n

 

[descipleofthegods13]

You shouldn't be ashamed of it. It has its place like all things. Although, only at times.

Sometimes people just need that.

 

[[email protected]]

So true. Anger is not the opposite to happiness. In my opinion it is the [one type of] demonstration of passion. Do not be ashamed. Feel it. Harness/balance the energy productively. And like all emotions, pure raw anger has it's place. Somethimes. 
Hail SatanHail Lilith
Dehna

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

Sometimes people just need that. [/QUOTE][/QUOTE]