Leaving

[High Priest Hooded Cobra 666]

I guess I should provide an update on this post lol. In the past couple months, I quit my one job due to my health issues. I then lost my other job, that I've had for 7 years, and my life has totally fallen apart. Afterwards, i got some fentanyl and overdosed, paramedics gave me 2 Narcan and a Zofran and i was put in a psych ward, as previously, right after i lost my job, the police forced me to go to the emergency room. I have no money and am buried in debt. I live with my parents and they're forcing me into a treatment center, so it'll be months before I can work, if I can get a job (lol).

I lost my faith in Paganism and that saving my People was possible, and I was so cold and lonely (cant get friends or a partner) that I reached out to lds missionaries, and tried to be Christian. But then I lost my faith in that too. I no longer know anything, much less what God is real and what I should do. I feel extreme despair. Maybe I died during my overdose and this is my hell. I know nothing, but suspect that all I have to look forward to is a hell in this life and a hell in the next. I guess I have betrayed my values and deserve this. I am going through painkiller withdrawal now and can barely eat, sleep, or function. Last night I stayed up all night, pacing and pointlessly trying to stave off invasive thoughts of white children being raped and killed. I'll never have children so at least my worthless genes die with me.

I don't know how everyone can be so sure of their particular religion and not be constantly afraid of being wrong and going to hell. I'm not sure why everyone else can get joy from religion but I get fear, shame, and hatred. The fear of hell really broke me as a child. And with my ego collapsing after my life fell apart, I no longer have self-defensive beliefs. I'm pretty sure I'm a worthless piece of dross and will suffer horribly. I guess my story can be a cautionary tale, lol. But it makes me sad. I really wanted to become something good and do good.

Nobody is going into any "Hell". This is shame and subconsciously, you have shame for what you did to yourself. This is not ethical or moral consequence, it's the damage you self-inflicted and you must understand you gain truly nothing by causing damage to yourself.

Psychotherapy might be required (conversation about these); you need to disassociate your own identity, self worth and value from your being completely absorbed by the job. It has happened to many people I know and even myself in the past; and when something happens, pain kicks in and then the need to punish one's self by blaming one's self for failure.

But in real life, not everything that happens is your fault. In this case, almost nothing is "your fault" besides thinking it was and punishing yourself for it (you were the least person in this occasion that deserved punishment). If you cut yourself some slack, you would never want to engage in drugs as self-retaliation, nor you would feel so much self guilt that you had to soothe it with drugs; this is what led there where the situation is today.

Life took a turn and you punished yourself assuming you have made unforgettable errors; the reality is that nobody will hold it against you if you fail. If they hold it against you, their opinion doesn't matter.

There appears to be a core belief that you are not a useful or good human being but only through your work. Yet you are the same valuable and strong man you was before, minus you did some mistakes. What gives? You will recover - but you must allow yourself to recover.

Everyone has weaknesses and everyone can fail in a severe turn in their lives.

What you did with the drugs was wrong but it's not the end of life or the end of the world. Everyone has had a moment of weakness and you have went through strong and considerable shock.

Now you must not concern yourself with complexities, Gods, defenses and "saving anyone". The Gods are there as they were during the better times; they never leave someone. The Gods don't rely on your work - just self perception does.

This is secondary to the core issue: Saving and caring for your own self. The love of self must be restored first. Leave the people and the world; you owe them nothing in this time of your life.

Apologies for last post, I went to lds service n remembered I h8 abrahamic religion. My ego is barely starting to grow back, fell for the trauma based mind control

Don't apologize for nothing you are always welcome here. Speaking from the heart should never be the case to need to apologize.

 

[HailVictory88]

Thank you so much everyone...really cringing at the drama lol, I'm sorry for causing it. I apologized to the Gods for my errors, and am resolved to better my life...just got a very traumatic wake up call. Trying to go slow, really want to be better but in lots of pain. Getting help though, and I'm blessed to be in a safe place where people care about me somewhat. Sorry again lol, I'll probably just lurk occasionally until I'm a lot healthier, I don't mean to cause more stress

 

[HailVictory88]

Just one last thing (mods please disapprove if I'm wrong): is it true we've evolved somewhat on race matters? Maybe that's good, while I love my People very much, maybe my focus on extremist politics wasn't helping decent normal White people. Maybe what matters is that people may come to spirituality and the Gods. The progress is amazing in any case

 

[Nordicsupreme]

Adversity in all forms provides a great opportunity to build a close relationship with the Gods
Addictions, pain, job losses, losing loved ones ect can be better understood and worked upon by the help of Gods
For many of many starting years, two way communication was not possible and the only way I had to get better was to pray to Lord Zeus's sigil
Life didn't get better infact it got insanely tougher and after years of chaos life finally started getting better
Stick to the Gods strongly, they are the only way. All adversity is an opportunity to learn
Have faith in the Gods and yourself

Stay Blessed

 

[616Taysha]

chill @HailVictory88 - don't apologise; every one of us has had highs AND lows. Don't see it as drama either - you apparently needed to be taken care of, comforted, ensured you're fine despite pain. It's also good you were vocal about it - not trying to suffer in silence, but actually expressing your thoughts.

You did well, and you're safe again.

 

[destroyer]

Apologies for last post, I went to lds service n remembered I h8 abrahamic religion. My ego is barely starting to grow back, fell for the trauma based mind control

Is it really important to complain so much?

I read most of what was said, but it seems to me that you don't want to be free.

Wow, you've been in the Abrahamic religion for 8 years and you still don't realize it's a scam.

Wow, you lost 2 jobs and you're addicted to drugs

Man, besides a job, I also lost another 10,000+ euros at the casino, I got hurt by some enemies, the dizziness went away after 2 weeks, plus a breakup with the girl I loved, who is not Zev. (I remember when I was 16 I was doing energy transfers with her or something, I didn't even know what I was doing )

(3 years ago)
To be honest, the last time I smoked methamphetamine for 3 days and combined it with heroin
(without sleeping)

yet I'm here completely and without any "cravings" for drugs

I didn't even feel the withdrawal

I suffered from it of course

In conclusion, you will recover, it's just a super advancement period for you.

But, if you're going back to the Abrahamic religion just to get revenge on the temple or think their messiah is going to give you a bag of money
because you're back, it's very absurd and will confuse you a little.

 

[High Priest Hooded Cobra 666]

Thank you so much everyone...really cringing at the drama lol, I'm sorry for causing it. I apologized to the Gods for my errors, and am resolved to better my life...just got a very traumatic wake up call. Trying to go slow, really want to be better but in lots of pain. Getting help though, and I'm blessed to be in a safe place where people care about me somewhat. Sorry again lol, I'll probably just lurk occasionally until I'm a lot healthier, I don't mean to cause more stress

The Gods have forgiven you there is no problem with them, nor they would ever punish you for this. It's about yourself that you must forgive yourself. When you forgive yourself entirely, you will be able to move on and rebuild better than ever. Blessings to you.

 

[High Priest Hooded Cobra 666]

Just one last thing (mods please disapprove if I'm wrong): is it true we've evolved somewhat on race matters? Maybe that's good, while I love my People very much, maybe my focus on extremist politics wasn't helping decent normal White people. Maybe what matters is that people may come to spirituality and the Gods. The progress is amazing in any case

Yes we stay away from this vortex now. We love people and just everyone by their deeds; nothing else nothing more. Justice. Don't even stress the topic anymore.

Is it really important to complain so much?

I read most of what was said, but it seems to me that you don't want to be free.

(3 years ago)
To be honest, the last time I smoked methamphetamine for 3 days and combined it with heroin
(without sleeping)

In conclusion, you will recover, it's just a super advancement period for you.

But, if you're going back to the Abrahamic religion just to get revenge on the temple or think their messiah is going to give you a bag of money
because you're back, it's very absurd and will confuse you a little.

Everyone wants to be free from these, he is clearly strong and he will be fine. I know HailVictory for many years he is a very strong man and has endured a lot; we men have a limit until we can crash and sometimes we can enter a state of hurting ourselves a result of this. We have to remember to do errors is not our end; it's the start of an opportunity to become better and love ourselves. It's just that when we are too self critical we might beat ourselves to shreds.

My sincere congratulations for your evolution Destroyer, also, you left a lesser state of existence and now you are on a track to ongoing happiness and growth; likely stronger than ever before. Now what HailVictory has to see is that the best times are actually ahead, despite of how the situation looks currently. It will pass; there is not the end of life if one has done a couple of mistakes or even done substance abuse.

Endless cases of Zevists have not only overcome this but they have been the most confident they have ever been after such phases. I read this commonly in stories of Zevists who have fallen low, when they bounce back they evolve better than ever.

Falling down is not the end. Not getting up is the end. Life is a series of knockdowns; let's get up and move each our own pace.

Life can be a bitch sometimes, but the case is when Zevists overcome this. Stay strong everyone!

 

[High Priest Hooded Cobra 666]

Brother also don't isolate and shy away; the community is here for support and to hold you up as you have held it before. Same as the Gods, never forget this. In fact people are getting inspired and they see that if they have done a mistake also, it's just human, everyone can and all will return. You don't show weakness when you say these, you show you are strong. We are available and don't worry about this, your position here is secured. Now just take care of yourself and love yourself and don't worry about details.

Blessings to you and may the Gods shine abundant light on you; you'll be out of the tunnel soon.

 

[destroyer]

Is it really important to complain so much?

I read most of what was said, but it seems to me that you don't want to be free.

Wow, you've been in the Abrahamic religion for 8 years and you still don't realize it's a scam.

Wow, you lost 2 jobs and you're addicted to drugs

Man, besides a job, I also lost another 10,000+ euros at the casino, I got hurt by some enemies, the dizziness went away after 2 weeks, plus a breakup with the girl I loved, who is not Zev. (I remember when I was 16 I was doing energy transfers with her or something, I didn't even know what I was doing )

(3 years ago)
To be honest, the last time I smoked methamphetamine for 3 days and combined it with heroin
(without sleeping)

yet I'm here completely and without any "cravings" for drugs

I didn't even feel the withdrawal

I suffered from it of course

In conclusion, you will recover, it's just a super advancement period for you.

But, if you're going back to the Abrahamic religion just to get revenge on the temple or think their messiah is going to give you a bag of money
because you're back, it's very absurd and will confuse you a little.

and besides that I would like to say:
I challenge you!
I also have a pretty difficult situation, very similar to yours. I'm struggling with some addictions, lack of money, finding a stable and secure job
(there's a lot to say )

How about we come back here in November and see who has progressed the most and who has been stronger?
Do you accept the challenge?

 

[HailVictory88]

Brother also don't isolate and shy away; the community is here for support and to hold you up as you have held it before. Same as the Gods, never forget this. In fact people are getting inspired and they see that if they have done a mistake also, it's just human, everyone can and all will return. You don't show weakness when you say these, you show you are strong. We are available and don't worry about this, your position here is secured. Now just take care of yourself and love yourself and don't worry about details.

Blessings to you and may the Gods shine abundant light on you; you'll be out of the tunnel soon.

Brother how did you know about the tunnel metaphor/experience I had when I was close to death...for the first time in my life, I am nearly speechless. Thank you.

 

[destroyer]

Yes we stay away from this vortex now. We love people and just everyone by their deeds; nothing else nothing more. Justice. Don't even stress the topic anymore.




Everyone wants to be free from these, he is clearly strong and he will be fine. I know HailVictory for many years he is a very strong man and has endured a lot; we men have a limit until we can crash and sometimes we can enter a state of hurting ourselves a result of this. We have to remember to do errors is not our end; it's the start of an opportunity to become better and love ourselves. It's just that when we are too self critical we might beat ourselves to shreds.

My sincere congratulations for your evolution Destroyer, also, you left a lesser state of existence and now you are on a track to ongoing happiness and growth; likely stronger than ever before. Now what HailVictory has to see is that the best times are actually ahead, despite of how the situation looks currently. It will pass; there is not the end of life if one has done a couple of mistakes or even done substance abuse.

Endless cases of Zevists have not only overcome this but they have been the most confident they have ever been after such phases. I read this commonly in stories of Zevists who have fallen low, when they bounce back they evolve better than ever.

Falling down is not the end. Not getting up is the end. Life is a series of knockdowns; let's get up and move each our own pace.

Life can be a bitch sometimes, but the case is when Zevists overcome this. Stay strong everyone!

Thank you very much, I honestly did not expect to receive such a response
however, congratulations to you too, Great Father Cobra
for having managed to bring the original light not only to one country, but to the entire globe

the discoveries, truths and teachings that you have given us with the help of the gods will remain from generation to generation all the time and forever

 

[High Priest Hooded Cobra 666]

Brother how did you know about the tunnel metaphor/experience I had when I was close to death...for the first time in my life, I am nearly speechless. Thank you.

I understand your current situation. From direct experience of the tunnel; I have seen death face to face more than a couple of times in practice and metaphor. So I know exactly where you are right now and above all that you can overcome it. I send you my blessings brother always.

 

[NG SATchives]

Falling down is not the end. Not getting up is the end. Life is a series of knockdowns; let's get up and move each our own pace.

"very strong man and has endured a lot; we men have a limit until we can crash and sometimes we can enter a state of hurting ourselves a result of this" I can relate. I struggled with this much in the past. Going past your limit will definitely make you crash into a vortex which ends up looking like self destruction. I wish you the best. My name in the old forums was Perserverance13666 I still stand by this thought, Perseverance is the at the core of all of us Zevists. I pray for endless strength to all of my Zevists Brothers and Sisters. Persevere you will

 

[Ariadne the Scribe]

Brother, it's never too late to change (yourself or your life) as long as you're alive; even if you're addicted, even if you're old, even if you're physically disabled...

You can always change as long as you want to. The problem with most people is that they don't want to. Being a defeatist and hating yourself is easier than wanting to become better. Why? Because wanting to become better requires effort. It requires mental strength and willpower.

The beautiful thing with meditation is that it *gives* you these things. Empowering your solar plexus chakra can give you that will. Doing yoga or breathing exercises and raising your energies is going to make you feel energized. Happy.

Brother, how much did you meditate before you lost your way? (I hope it's okay with you to call "losing your way" your stopping meditations and distancing yourself from the Gods. I know it sounds a bit xtian)

What kind of meditations did you do?
Can you recall the "energy buzz" from meditation? This "feeling high" state?
Did you see your intuition becoming stronger?
These are all beautiful experiences that, even if you stop meditating and haven't experienced them in a long time, you don't forget them.

As for how people can be so certain about their religion, at least when it comes to Zevism, it's the direct experiences we have, not just with meditating, but with the Gods themselves. I'll never forget my first experience with our Father Zeus. I'll never forget all my experiences with our Gods and Goddesses, and their advices... and if I ever did, I've been keeping black journals where I've written them all down.

Have you never had such experiences, Brother? Not with the Gods or with meditations?

 

[Aryan14]

im also a former addict trying to heal

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

As long as your body is still alive, there are things you can do every day to continue moving forward to improving your health physically and spiritually, and improve your life. You don't need to run forward a mile every day if you can't. Even one small step forward each day is at least going in the right direction and making some improvement.