Why could jesus walk on water?
-Cuz shit floats
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What's the Similarity between a 2006 chevy camaro and dead xians?
-Their both in my garage
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Let's not leave his dear old dad out
Q: Why did god make homosexuality a sin?
A: Because his boyfriend thought that would make it hotter.
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My wife once asked me "Do you know why does god live in heaven?" I said "no I don't" she said "it's because Richard Simmons has a restraining order against Him."
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Wife:The roman soldiers must have been some really smooth playboys?
Me:Why?
Wife:They nailed jesus
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Me
o you know how to save a xian having a heart attack?
Wife:No
Me:Good.
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Jesus was giving a sermon on mount ararat. Here a lot of grown ups who believed in him came to hear him. Several children also came to hear jesus. When peter saw the children he said "why the fuck are these children here, we're not some fucking babysitters" then judas said to peter "You're right we should send them back home, i hate these kids" then peter said "Fuck these kids", Jesus overheard peter's last sentence and he thought peter was talking to him, so jesus turned to peter with a big smile on his face and said enthusiastically "Certainly".
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Jesus is coming for the second time
-Disgusting! !!!!!
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Q:What did jesus said to the Prostitutes he saw in Israel?
A:"How much for 2 mins?"
