Arcadia [NG]
Member
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2018
- Messages
- 463
Exposing Mormonism
Mormonism exists as the butt of many jokes. A uniquely American brand of cult Christianity with the usual blend of oddball practices and beliefs, often not spared a second thought even by other Christians. It's this lack of seriousness in how Mormonism is perceived that has frankly allowed it to spread like a tumorous infection. Though there is much to mock it for, this does not change the fact that the religion has operated in the shadows, attempting to widen its assets and place its members in positions of power. One will quickly see why this article followed my previous one on Scientology, as there is a notable undercurrent of similarity between the two religions. The point, once again, is to illuminate and expose what this religion is, how idiotic its theology is, and bring awareness to its many sins.
Mormonism, alternatively known as the Latter Day Saint (LDS) movement, originated in the early nineteenth century in Western New York, a region marked by intense religious revivalism known as the Second Great Awakening. Put simply, this was a period where many American Christians were trying their hardest to counter the cultural impact of the American Enlightenment. After the founding of an independent America, it could be said that Christianity was on something of a back foot, given how the Constitution and the wise men who penned it made their stance on the religion very clear.
The movement was founded by one Joseph Smith, who, like many Christian charlatans and snake oil salesmen, claimed to restore the "original" Christian church through new revelations and scriptural texts. Needless to say, given the fact it's the focus of an article, Mormonism has ever remained the subject of persistent controversy, doctrinal disputes, and critical scrutiny regarding its bizarre historical claims, strange social policies, and often malevolent institutional practices.
At its core, Mormonism asserts that after the death of the original apostles, Christianity fell into a "Great Apostasy," losing supposed divine authority and doctrinal purity. Joseph Smith claimed to have restored the true church through direct revelation and angelic visitations, positioning Mormonism as the only legitimate continuation of the early Christian church. If this sounds blatantly similar to the story of Islam to any particularly keen-eyed readers, you would be correct. There's a reason that Mormonism is memetically regarded as the kooky spin-off sequel to the Abrahamic "Sand Wars" trilogy.
This exclusivist claim is central to Mormon self-understanding and is reinforced by the Book of Mormon, which presents a dichotomous view of religious truth: all other churches are considered corrupt, and only the restored church, the Mormon church possesses divine authority.
Mormon theology incorporates elements of mainstream Christianity but diverges in significant ways. Notably, it rejects the ecumenical creeds and the doctrine of the Trinity, instead teaching a form of tritheism in which God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are distinct beings. At this stage, you're probably thinking, wait, isn't the entire foundation of Abrahamic nonsense the fact it's strictly Monotheistic? Well, not Mormons. You can be assured in knowing that this is barely the tip of the iceberg.
Other distinctive doctrines include eternal progression (the belief that humans can become gods), the necessity of temple ordinances for salvation, baptism for the dead, and, historically, plural marriage (polygamy). For those well-versed in Christianity and Islam, the idea of humans becoming higher beings (something central to our own Zevist faith) will naturally sound absolutely ill-fitting and baffling in the context of an Abrahamic religion (which it is).
The movement's scriptural canon extends beyond the Bible to include the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. These texts, particularly the Book of Mormon, are presented as ancient records translated by Joseph Smith through divine means, though as you'll soon learn, the real truth of the matter is so laughable you'll wonder how anyone believes it.
Mormonism's organizational structure is hierarchical and theocratic, with a strong emphasis on prophetic leadership. All worthy male members are ordained to the priesthood, blurring the distinction between clergy and laity. The movement self describes as having historically emphasized "communal living", "economic cooperation" within its membership, and a "strict moral code", including prohibitions on alcohol, tobacco, and certain foods, though many of these are utterly arbitrary, given they cannot, for example drink coffee or tea but can drink energy drinks (this, and Joseph Smith himself used to partake in some of these indulgences anyway).
None of these things may sound too negative on paper, but in the context of Christian cults, "communal living" often leads to the Church body ruling over families and their assets, and the economic agenda has typically been morally dubious and in some cases illegal, as you'll see in the story of its founder.
The LDS Church, headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah, claims over 17 million members worldwide, with significant populations outside its home base in the United States in Latin America, Africa, and the Pacific; all the end result of its hardcore missionary line.
Even people unfamiliar with Mormonism on any larger degree, are at least aware of Mormon missionaries, given how ubiquitous they've become, and how relentless they are. It should also be stated this strict missionary program also exists to break down its youth demographic. High school graduate Mormons are all but required to become missionaries. Part of the function is that they're sent out to be as annoying as possible, so that they can face hostile abuse and doors slammed in their faces. Why? Because it reinforces the Church as a safe space, juxtaposed with a hostile, hateful world. The same thing applies to Mormons who are sent overseas to Africa, for instance, to bear witness to human life at some of its most downtrodden.
The Latter Day Saint movement has experienced frequent schisms, often over issues of leadership succession, polygamy, and doctrinal interpretation. The largest branch, the LDS Church, abandoned polygamy in 1890 under pressure from the U.S. government, while smaller fundamentalist groups continue the practice.
All said, Mormonism is deeply intertwined with American identity and exceptionalism. The movement teaches that the United States Constitution is divinely inspired by Yahweh (yes, really, despite much it weakened Christianity's potential power in the nation) and that America is somehow the biblical promised land. Early Mormon leaders, including Joseph Smith, engaged in political activism, with Smith himself running for president in 1844 (and was also the first Presidential Candidate to be assassinated; more on that later). The movement's history is marked by conflict with state and federal authorities, including episodes of violence, forced migration, and legal battles over, again, polygamy.
Much like with L Ron Hubbard and his Scientology, to fully understand Mormonism, one has to understand its founder.
Joseph Smith - Treasure Hunter, Biblical Fanfiction Author, Wife Enthusiast
Smith was born in Sharon, Vermont, the fifth of eleven children in a family of modest means. The Smiths experienced repeated financial hardship, moving frequently and eventually settling in the "burned-over district" of western New York—a region renowned for its religious fervor and experimentation during the Second Great Awakening. The family was religiously eclectic, with members participating in various denominations, engaging in folk magic, and expressing skepticism toward organized Christianity of the time.
Smith's parents, Joseph Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith, both reported visionary experiences, and the family was known locally for their involvement in treasure-seeking using divining rods and seer stones. Put a pin in this.
Smith suffered a severe leg infection as a child, resulting in a lifelong limp. His formal education was limited, but he was described as imaginative and was regarded already as something of a story-teller among his family and acquaintances.
Neighbors viewed the Smiths as superstitious and unremarkable, with Joseph himself gaining a reputation as a "glass looker", that is, a practitioner of crystal gazing, which, in the context of the time, had certain associations with regards to charlatans and frauds (Smith even fronted court for the matter later in 1826 for apparently defrauding a local farmer).
At age fourteen, Smith reported experiencing a theophany—later known as the "First Vision"—in which Yahweh and Jesus Christ appeared to him, instructing him not to join any existing church because they were all corrupt. This event is central to Mormon theology, symbolizing the restoration of "true" Christianity. However, Smith provided at least four (some say up to ten) accounts between 1832 and 1842, each differing in details like his age (14 or 15), the number of divine beings (one "Lord" or two distinct personages), the presence of angels or dark forces, and his motivation (personal forgiveness or church corruption). Yes, some versions of this tale don't even necessarily have Yahweh or Jesus in them, and Smith is blabbed at by a group of entities who he described as all looking the same.
The 1832 version, handwritten by Smith, emphasizes sin and atonement with a single "Lord" appearing, while the 1838 account—canonized in LDS scripture—explicitly describes two personages and a broader religious revival. Skeptics see them as evolving embellishments: the earliest lacks the two-personage detail central to LDS Godhead doctrine, suggesting an obvious retroactive invention, likely coinciding with one of the church's many schisms. Even more damning, no contemporary records mention the vision until the 1830s, and early church publications focused on "angelic visitations" instead, which you would think raise some serious questions about the importance of these apparent visions, given Smith hadn't really said anything of note about them, with a canon version not even cementing until two decades after the alleged event. Even LDS historian Joseph Fielding Smith hid the 1832 version for decades, tearing pages from a journal in an attempt to conceal the inconsistencies.
These visions would mark the beginning of Smith's professional career in spurious claims.
In 1823, Smith alleged to have been visited by an angel named Moroni, who revealed the location of golden plates buried in a hill near his home, enclosed within a stone box. Moroni however, would not allow Smith to take the plates, insisting he return to the same spot a year from the day. Smith would indeed do that, but it was only after four years did Moroni allow him to take the plates. Smith asserted that the plates contained an ancient record written in "reformed Egyptian," chronicling the history of early Israelites who migrated to the Americas.
The translation process, as described by Smith and his contemporaries, involved the use of, you guessed it, seer stones and a hat. Smith would place the stone in a hat, bury his face in it to exclude light, and dictate the text that appeared to him. Witnesses reported that the plates were often not present during the translation, sometimes hidden under a cloth or not in the room at all. The resulting Book of Mormon was published in 1830 and presented as a literal history of ancient American civilizations, their dealings with Yahweh, and the visit of Jesus Christ to the Americas after his resurrection.
This is obviously a lot to take in all at once, so let's inspect some of the details more carefully. To those versed in the Abrahamic occult, you'll probably recognized "Moroni" is not an angel mentioned anywhere else. Initially, when talking about golden plates, Smith referred only to "an angel" without identifying a name. In an 1831 letter from his mother Lucy Mack Smith to her brother, she discusses Moroni as the person who buried the plates, but does not identify him as the unnamed "holy angel" that gave them to Smith.
Even in the 1832 version of events, the name "Moroni" appears, but only as a name of a supposed prophet mentioned by the angel who appeared. Only in 1835 did Smith start referring to Moroni as the angel in question, specifically in regards to the fact that, after the Second Coming, a number of angels would visit earth and decide to have a pleasant night in drinking sacramental wine with Smith and his good buddy Oliver Cowdery. One of these was Moroni, who was at last listed as the deliver of the golden plates. Case closed, right?
No. In May 2, 1838, Smith began dictating an official church history that included a more detailed account of his visits from the gold plate delivering angel. Now, the angel's name was "Nephi", a name shared with the Book of Mormon's first narrator. Several further newspapers and periodicals would also refer to the gold plate angel as Nephi. Even more stupidly, Nephi was suddenly thanked as being the one who imparted the 1923 vision. These would not be the only instances of Nephi stealing Moroni's spotlight, as the trend would continue elsewhere, even after Smith's death, though the modern LDS church typically edits out any mention of Nephi, having seemingly settled on Moroni. It's enough to make anyone's brain hurt.
But wait, there's more. According to the Book of Mormon itself, Moroni was also the son of the Mormon, of which Mormonism gets its name. Here, Moroni was given the plates by Mormon, who perished in battle, with Moroni finishing the plates. So Moroni is now both a mortal and an angel somehow. Nowhere in any other Abrahamic religion do men become angels, which is made even stupider by the fact Mormons believe that the angel of Revelation 14:6 is in fact, Moroni.
If you've been paying attention, you may have also noticed that Smith claimed the golden plates were written in "reformed Egyptian." Ignoring the Nephi/Moroni mix up (again), this is stated in the Book of Mormon in Nephi 1:2.
So what is "reformed Egyptian" anyway? Nobody knows. It's not a form of Egyptian attested to in the scholarly context. Like many things, it seems Smith just made it up. But here's the real question.
Why was a Jew in 600BCE America writing in Egyptian? Nephi's father Lehi lived in Jerusalem before departing on the American exodus.
Needless to say, no such golden plates ever existed in the first place. Conveniently, no one else had seen them other than Smith himself, as he said the angel had told him not to show anyone. Those that had claimed to have seen them, later admitted they only had seen them with their "mind's eye", and others who claimed to have touched them, confessed they had only touched a stack of plates hidden under a cloth. The truly ironic thing here is, those among his 1927 associates who actually believed the plates existed, ransacked his house looking for them, forcing Smith and his wife to leave their home of Palmyra with the assistance of a wealthy neighbor and devotee. Who, mind you, would also grow skeptical of the plates' existence, subsequently asking to "borrow" some of Smith's translated manuscript and then promptly losing it somehow. Smith fell into a deep depression from this, claiming the angel had taken the plates away, and briefly attended Methodist church until a "practicing necromancer" was allowed to join.
In 1828, the angel Moroni would purportedly return the plates to Smith, and the translation process would continue, with Smith once again finding himself with his face stuffed into the inside of a hat. Sometimes the alleged plates weren't even in the same room as him when he was dictating the translation. It was in 1829 that Smith would meet his aforementioned and highly contentious friend Oliver Cowdery, who would assist him in the transcription process.
The resulting Book of Mormon was published in 1830, purportedly the "most correct" book on planet earth. We'll inspect the contents later, but for now understand that our very own Zevist Personality Mark Twain referred to it as "chloroform in print".
Following the publication of the Book of Mormon, Smith formally organized the Church of Christ (later renamed several times, as you can see) on April 6, 1830, with a small group of followers. Converts were sent to establish settlements in Kirtland, Ohio, and Independence, Missouri, both of which, naturally, became centers of conflict with local populations. There was something about the Mormons that people just didn't seem to trust, with Smith's early 1826 trial sticking in people's minds.
In one instance, Cowdery had baptized several new members of the church, though the process would be interrupted before Smith could even confirm the newly baptized, being charged with being a "disorderly person", though would soon be acquitted... and subsequently arrested and acquitted again. This time an angry mob was waiting for him outside, so Smith and Cowdery had to flee.
For the greater part of the 1830s, the Mormon church mostly operated out of Ohio. Upon first moving to the area, Smith encountered a style of Christianity insane even for his standards. The people here were rolling around on the ground in fits and speaking in tongues, like a modern day Evangelical show church. Nevertheless, numbers were numbers and Smith recruited them in anyway, getting them to dial it back a little.
It was around this time the specter of polygamy began to haunt the Mormon church. A cousin of his wife accused Smith of attempting to seduce a local girl by the name of Eliza Winters. To this, Smith flatly replied that "adultery is no crime." From here, Smith began to teach polygamy as doctrine to some of his more trusted followers. In 1831, Smith told a then 12 year old Mary Rollins that Yahweh told him she would be his wife. Interesting thing to say to a 12 year old. Though, in Smith's defense, unlike the Prophet Muhammad, Smith would at least wait until Rollins was 23 before taking her as one of his wives. I should also note that, at the time of his death, Smith had over 40 wives, with the number perhaps going as high as 49. He had so many in fact, there's no conclusive answer.
Things would turn ugly in 1832. Smith and his primary assistant, one Sidney Rigdon of Ohio, would be dragged out of their beds, beaten, tarred and feathered. This is where it would end for Sidney, but the mob had other plans for Smith. Smith would be tied to a board and stripped naked, before the mob demanded a doctor who had accompanied them to castrate Smith then and there. After he refused, the mob tried to feed him poison, though to little success, as Smith would be going about his usual business the next day, baptizing people as if nothing had happened.
But why did this happen? Simple. Recent converts to the church found out their properties would be placed under the church's control. This is what they really meant by "communal living." If you're wondering about the castration, it seemed the mob was also aware Smith had a certain penchant for taking wives of just about anyone, even women who he briefly lived with. In their mind, Smith was guilty of sexual impropriety, and they had the urge to do something about it.
Despite all this, converts continued to pour into Smith's little personal kingdom in Kirtland, Ohio, with the membership swelling to two thousand, with the church's fellowship beginning to adopt certain Millennial beliefs (that is, the idea Smith was ushering in a messianic age that would exist prior to the Last Judgment). If you're aware of certain other Christian cults who adopted Millennial considerations, you're probably aware of where this is eventually going.
In July of 1831, Smith visited Independence in Jackson County, Missouri and announced a revelation that this would be the "center place" of a new Zion, which was Smith's way of saying they would live there something akin to Jonestown style communists.
Those already living in Jackson County, however, were not so fond of the recent surge of Mormons in the area. It was plain to see why. Mormon growth was rapid, and locals were worried that the Mormons would constitute a majority come election time, and would thus all but rule Jackson County.
This would come to a head in July of 1833. Conflict broke out between Non-Mormons and Mormons, with the former attempting to eject the latter out of their properties. After an exchange of fire, one Mormon and two non-Mormons were killed, though it would be the Mormons who were effectively chased out of the area.
Smith petitioned the Missouri governor, albeit unsuccessfully. In response, Smith organized a 200-man paramilitary forced he named Zion's Camp. To call it a failure would be an understatement. Extremely disorganized, struck with a cholera outbreak which killed 14 of his own and grossly outnumbered, Smith simply gave up and attempted to find a peaceful solution.
After his resounding success of a military campaign, Smith returned to his roots as a treasure hunter, visiting Salem, Massachusetts to search for a trove of gold coins, Yahweh having apparently informed him of there being "much treasure" in the city.
A month later he and his men returned to Ohio empty handed.
Speaking of empty hands, it was around this time in 1837 that Smith tried to found his own Mormon bank, the Ohio legislature refusing to hand over the paperwork that would have made it possible. Smith, genius that he was, instead found the "anti-bank-ing" (his spelling, not mine) enterprise and began printing notes, telling his followers to invest. The anti-bank was evaluated at a cool four million, which as you might imagine was substantial for the time. So much in fact, that the total capitalization of all major banks in Ohio was only worth around nine million.
If you know anything about basic economics, you can probably assume where this all went. The "bank" collapsed in a month. Mormons in Kirtland lost out hard on their investments, and subsequent harassment from debt collectors followed. Smith was personally held responsible for the massive failure, which was now coming on top of the costs required to build the movement's first temple in Kirtland. Defections from the church at this time were widespread, and Smith and Rigdon were both charged and found guilty with the crime of illegally running of a bank. Turns out calling it an "anti-bank" wasn't exactly foolproof.
Soon after, in a page straight out of the L Ron Hubbard playbook, Smith was also arrested and charged with conspiring to murder a critic of his. Of this however, Smith was acquitted, as some of his favorite lackeys testified glowingly in his favor.
One accusation which did stick, however, did not come from a legal opponent, instead coming from his old longtime friend Oliver Cowdery. Yet again, Smith was accused of adultery, having apparently engaged in sexual indecency with a teenage servant girl, Fanny Alger. Cowdery was sentenced with excommunication from the church for seeking to destroy Smith's good name with false allegations. As of 2014 however, the LDS commonly reports that Smith actually had married Fanny Alger.
Criticism and legal issues had grown insurmountable, with many Mormons now openly decrying Smith as a fallen prophet, among other things. Smith, in his usual sneaky fashion, snuck away in the night with Rigdon, leaving the Kirtland Mormons to take over and fend for themselves, though, many of them would end up following him anyway.
Tail tucked firmly between his legs, Smith would try his hand at Missouri again in 1838, abandoning plans to reclaim Independence, declaring the town of Far West would be the new Zion. It was here that the church took on its more common name of "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints".
It was during this particular stretch of time (as you may have noticed, if you have a particular mind for dates) that Smith began cementing the specifics of his canon, and cracking down on the dissenters within the church (including Cowdery), founding the fraternity of the Danites to do so. Again referencing Scientology, this was somewhat similar to the infamous Guardian Office. Too many people were poking holes in the golden plates story of Smith's, and he aimed to do something about it, by gathering up as many signatures as he could of the Mormon top brass to prove once and for all, that the dissenters were not in good company. Seeing as they were described as a "great evil" that had to be "put right" and "cleansed", the dissenters fled the territory, and the Danites remained an established internal faction, just in case Smith ever required them again. And he would, possibly sooner than he realized.
Like seemingly anywhere the Mormons went, tensions quickly turned against them locally. Old Missourians began to grow hostile against the Latter Day Saints, and given Smith was almost castrated the last time he faced mob violence, you could assume he wasn't going to take too many chances. At this stage of the game, Smith earnestly believed the only way Mormonism would truly survive is if it took militant action against non-Mormons.
By August of 1838, these tensions came to a head. Similar to the Missourians in Jackson County, those in Daviess County had little to no interest in Mormons taking part in their local elections. So much so in fact, 200 men tried to physically prevent them from voting.
What followed next was particularly ugly. Armed groups on both sides raided settlements, burned homes, and seized property. The Missourians had grown so suspicious of the Mormons it appeared they were willing to do just about anything, as the Mormons had not done themselves any favors, surrounding the homes of a prominent judge and sheriff and coercing them to sign statements that they would not act against the Mormons. Vigilantism against the Mormons would be spurred on by these actions, but the Mormons would respond just as badly, if not worse. As one witness said:
Even the Missourians who had been friendly to the Mormons were not spared by the Danite mob. One Gallatin merchant who had been selling his goods to the Mormons on credit had his business burned down. Even a Judge who had often been on their side was forced to flee. The Danites had gone so far even some of their fellow Mormons were shocked, as over a hundred families had been displaced by their violence, and what was once the largest town in the county, Millport, was left a ghost town to this very day.
Many families, fearing Mormon attack, fled across the Missouri river. A state militia formed to patrol the no-man's land between counties to quell further potential violence. A group of Mormons, very stupidly, attacked the Missouri state militia, mistaking them for anti-Mormon vigilantes, inciting the Battle of Crooked River. All out panic followed. Fearing a full blown Mormon insurrection following exaggerated reports of the battle, Governor Lilburn Boggs issued Missouri Executive Order 44. Simply put, it was an extermination order of the Mormons. As a small fact, the loathing of the Mormons in Missouri was so intense, Order 44 wasn't rescinded until 1976.
On October 30, 5 days after the Battle of Crooked River, a party of Missourians ambushed and killed seventeen Mormons in the Haun's Mill massacre. The day following, the Mormons surrendered to the state troops and agreed to forfeit their property and leave the state of Missouri. Joseph Smith and the Mormon leadership was arrested yet again, and were charged with treason, though, Smith would again evade any serious justice, escaping imprisonment with his fellows and fleeing with his Mormons to Illinois.
American newspapers at the time were critical of the Haun's Hill massacre, so it wasn't any real surprise that one state or another felt inclined towards accepting the errant Mormon refugees. In Illinois, with Smith now portraying the Mormons as an oppressed minority group (and unsuccessfully petitioning for government reparations), the Latter Day Saints would purchase a piece of swampy woodland in the hamlet of Commerce.
Initially at least, Smith and his Mormons would seem to have a better run of luck, attracting several important allies, including one John C. Bennett, Illinois' quartermaster general. With a new connection to the Illinois state legislature in the form of Bennett, Smith was able to obtain a strangely liberal charter for his budding city, and renamed it "Nauvoo". Not only would Smith's newly minted Nauvoo have near autonomy from the rest of Illinois and the right to found its own university, but Smith and his Mormons would have the right of habeus corpus. That is, Smith had determined his own right not to be extradited back to Missouri to face charges again. This seemingly miraculous charter would also grant Smith the right to found his own militia, no doubt to prevent another Mormon War. It's worth noting that, with the establishment of this legion of his, Smith had under his control the largest contingent of armed men in all of Illinois at the time. Bennett and Smith would lead the militia, and Bennett would serve as town mayor and assistant president of the church.
Summing it up, not only had Smith determined he was immune to facing legal repercussions, but that he should also have total autonomy over his people, their education, and have a large armed force at his disposal bigger than anything else in the state. Put together, you would not admonish anyone in Illinois for feeling uneasy.
Seemingly higher on his own farts than ever, Smith would begin innovating Mormon doctrine further and further. The Nauvoo Temple would be built for the purpose of recovering "lost ancient knowledge" (that likely being, the nonexistent Jews who used to live in pre-Columbian America), and Smith would introduce "baptism for the dead". More on that later. In essence, Smith had received a number of strange pieces of inspiration from having recently observed some Freemasonic rites, and blended them together with some Jewish Kaballah to make his own rituals. Women would of course continue to be barred from any of this spiritual progression, though clearly being of progressive mind he would at least create a club where women could gather around and do chores for free.
Now, Smith was no longer content with merely ruling a town-sized "Zion". He now envisioned all of the Americas (yes, Central and South America as well) as part of his great Millennial Kingdom, which would eventually become a theocratic rule over the entire earth.
Smith continued "secretly" practicing polygamy during Nauvoo, and slowly introduced more and more of his close associates to it, obviously being somewhat guarded about the matter despite obviously wanting people to warm up to the idea. Bennett would casually blab about Smith's "spiritual wifery" and the rumor spread beyond Mormon ears. Smith was so displeased he immediately stripped Bennett of all his roles and forced him to leave Nauvoo. Bennett, after all he had given, did not take to this kindly, and began accusing Smith of effectively everything I have disclosed in this article already. Sexual immorality, corruption, indecency, conspiracy, political espionage, and so on.
Part way through 1842, roughly three years into the Mormon stay in Nauvoo, popular opinion in Illinois began to shift very negatively, perhaps in no small part to Bennett telling the world of his many grievances, though one in particular stood out among the rest. Missouri governor Lilburn Boggs, around this time, found himself the victim of an assassination attempt—shot in the head, though somehow managing to survive.
Rumor had it, Smith's own bodyguard, one Porter Rockwell, was the gunman. One of Bennett's letters claimed Smith had admitted to sending Rockwell to do the deed, to "fulfill prophecy". Aside from Bennett's accusations, there were reasons to suspect Rockwell of the attempt, and he never really denied it, only stating that he had done "nothing criminal" when accused of the crime.
Though Rockwell would eventually be acquitted, as the Grand Jury felt they lacked the evidence to convict him conclusively, he was still held for a year, and the new Governor of Missouri felt the evidence was substantial enough to petition for Smith's extradition.
Believing he'd be killed were he to return to Missouri, Smith went into hiding for a time, though the U.S. Attorney would go on to deem his hypothetical extradition as "unconstitutional".
The next year in 1843, Smith would go on to gain yet another wife. This would be the youngest of his wives at the mere age of 14, tied with Nancy Maria Winchester, who he married around the same time. Her father, one of Smith's own "Twelve Apostles", had encouraged the union.
Later in 1843, Illinois Governor Thomas Ford issued an extradition warrant, following up upon his predecessor’s arrest warrant. Two officers arrested Smith, but the group was intercepted by a gang of Mormons before they could reach Missouri. Smith would be set free by the writ of habeus corpus from his own court, inciting considerable political fallout in Illinois.
Perhaps feeling emboldened and untouchable, Smith went on a marriage spree, beginning in 1842 and continuing in earnest through 1843. As stated, many of these girls were teenagers. Smith would reveal a "revelation" about polygamy, that it was, in fact, divine command that he have this many wives. That he was "sealing" the women to "raise up seed" to God. Hilariously, he would even go as far as to say an angel told him if he didn't marry all these women, that the angel would destroy him. Many of the women he married were already married to other men within the church, and many of them married Smith with their consent. If there was ever a religion where cuckolding was divine mandate, this would be it.
In August of 1843, Smith would physically assault county assessor (that is, someone who determines the value of property and assets) Walter Bagby, though Smith would only be fined for this particular crime. The very next month, Smith would assault yet another man who turned up in Nauvoo with a warrant for his arrest, seemingly oblivious of the fact Smith had been tried and acquitted in his own court already. For this, Smith would receive no charge.
In November, Smith grew ill, and suspected he was being poisoned by none other than his original wife, Emma, who at various points had agreed to or resisted against Smith's increasing degrees of polygamy. In December, Smith attempted to petition Congress to make Nauvoo its own independent territory (that is, independent from Illinois and its laws), while also gaining the ability to call upon federal troops if they were ever attacked again. Smith outright began asking would-be presidential candidates what exactly they would do if the Mormons were ever in danger. Most gave a half-hearted response or simply responded negatively. The answer to Smith was obvious.
He would run to become the President of the United States.
His platform had many typical policies of the time, aside from the various liberties he wanted to specifically grant Mormons. Despite this, Smith would increasingly find himself at odds with his own Mormons, and a rift began to form with him and some of his closest, after Smith took it upon himself to sleep with at least one man's wife, this time without his consent. To make matters worse, the husband, one Robert D. Foster, served as a general in Nauvoo's own militia.
Foster wanted Smith to confess and repent before the High Council. Smith decided otherwise and simply excommunicated him, charging Foster with apostasy and immorality. These would be the first crucial dominoes in Smith's eventual downfall.
After everything that had happened, combined with his increasing desire to seemingly control every facet of his followers' lives, Smith realized his theocratic dystopia would never be allowed to fully develop under U.S. law. He convened his Council of Fifty, to discuss founding their own government and where exactly in America they could establish it, given America at this stage was still founding its states (Texas during this time was its own Republic, and California was still several years off becoming a state at the end of the Mexican Wars, hence these being discussed as potentials by Smith). In the meanwhile, the Council and Smith would graciously decide what U.S. laws they would even bother following.
On March 9th, Smith preached to his followers about the apparent plurality of Gods, which would prove especially controversial among Christians who already had it in for the Mormons. It's worth noting that Smith's "polytheism" wasn't Pagan in nature, rather it was simply to justify the idea Smith himself (and his most devout followers) would become as Gods themselves.
To inflame their negative opinions further, Smith would have himself confirmed as "Prophet, Priest and King", common attributes belonging to Jesus in Christian thought.
By this stage, Smith had excommunicated enough dissenters that they went and found their own Mormon Churches, like the "True" Church of the Latter Day Saints, in which Smith's founding ideas were still valid, except he himself was a fallen Prophet. Some of these dissidents testified before a grand jury that Smith was guilty of adultery, fornication and perjury. But they wouldn't stop there.
On June 7, the Mormon dissidents published the first issue of the Nauvoo Expositor, a newspaper aimed at exposing Smith for his adultery and "polytheism", as well as his intent to establish his own theocracy that did not have to answer to the United States.
The Nauvoo City Council under Smith decried the paper as a public nuisance, and demanded its destruction. Smith fully believed he had every right to do so, and commanded his City Marshall and a hundred man posse to destroy the Nauvoo Expositor's printing press. Smith, idiot that he was, was oblivious of the fact trying to silence the press would only enrage his detractors more than even the claims themselves would, and this would prove Smith's most fatal error yet.
Non-Mormons in Hancock County were outraged, knowing that Smith and his Mormons considered themselves above the law. Multiple other newspapers called for action against the Mormons, and on June 12, the Hancock County Justice of the Peace issued a warrant for the arrest of Smith and 17 other Mormons.
Constable David Bettisworth arrived in Nauvoo on the same day to place Joseph Smith under arrest and convey him to Carthage, but Smith was again freed by the municipal court. This was not going to stall Bettisworth for long, as he promised to return. Fearing another arrest attempt and another round of vigilante mob violence, Smith mobilized his Mormon legion and martial law was declared in Nauvoo.
The officials in Carthage responded by mobilizing a detachment of the state militia, and Governor Ford threatened to raise an even larger militia unless Smith and the Nauvoo City Council surrendered themselves. Smith, in his usual fashion, tried to flee, but eventually surrendered once his safety was promised, as he likely knew that he wasn't going to get away this time.
Smith and his brother Hyrum were placed on trial in Carthage on June 25th. The initial charge was for inciting a riot—the direct consequence of destroying the Nauvoo Expositor—but the charges were increased once they were actually in custody to treason, forbidding anyone from simply posting their bail and setting them free. Several Mormons voluntarily joined Smith in captivity, with two others smuggling him pistols.
Smith and the other Mormon prisoners would spend the 27th of June in the jailer's bedroom. Despite Smith's history of jailbreaks (and the death threats against him), they were only guarded by a mere six men. The long bitter anti-Mormons would soon learn of this, paint their faces black, form a mob, and storm the jail. Upon their approach, Smith would ironically tell the guards not to worry, believing the mob to be the Nauvoo Legion, here to rescue him.
The guards did not bother defending Smith. They reportedly fired off several blank shots into the air to make it sound like they tried, though others would allegedly go as far as to join the mob. Smith and his Mormons would try to barricade the door, though this would result in Hyrum being shot in the face and killed.
The mob broke through, and Smith began to open fire himself, only injuring three men, before attempting to escape out the window. Smith would be shot multiple times, staggering and falling out the window, crying out "Oh Lord my God!" before hitting the ground.
To fully understand the anger people had for Smith and the Mormons, it's worth noting that this was still not enough for the mob. Several men arranged in a firing squad and began to repeatedly shoot Smith's body, just to make sure he was absolutely dead.
Though Smith would be remembered as a martyr by the more devoted Mormons, most non-Mormon Americans would remember Smith as a fanatic, scoundrel and a charlatan. The Mormon church would splinter into various sects of both loyal fundamentalists breakaway factions, pledging their loyalty to various actors, picking and choosing what parts of the doctrine they would keep and discard.
Despite everything, the Mormon church would continue, albeit not as a wholly unified force.
Mormon Theology - For When Christianity Isn't Stupid Enough
Though Mormons have the Old and New Testaments as part of their canon, it's the Mormon belief that the modern day Bible is filled with errors and is incomplete. This is where the Book of Mormon comes in, to apparently correct the record in full.
The complete Mormon spiritual canon functions in a similar way to Islam and its Hadith, in that the Book of Mormon is not the sacred text, though mileage may sometimes vary depend on who you're asking. For the fundamentalist Mormon, you must also consider Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. For full clarity, I will explain these texts before picking them apart further.
The Book of Mormon, as described earlier, is presented as an ancient record translated by Joseph Smith from golden plates inscribed in "reformed Egyptian." It is divided into 15 books, primarily chronicling the history of two main civilizations in the ancient Americas: the Nephites and Lamanites, who are depicted as descendants of Israelite families that migrated from Jerusalem around 600 BCE.
The narrative begins with the First Book of Nephi, where the prophet Lehi receives visions warning of Jerusalem's destruction and leads his family—including sons Nephi, Laman, Lemuel, and Sam—across the ocean to the Americas. Conflicts arise between the righteous Nephi and his rebellious brothers Laman and Lemuel, leading to the division into Nephites (followers of Nephi) and Lamanites (followers of Laman).
The Book of Mosiah shifts to a parallel group, the Mulekites (another Israelite migration, how many were there?), and introduces King Benjamin's sermon on service and atonement, followed by his son Mosiah's reign, which includes the discovery of the Jaredites' records (a pre-Israelite people who migrated after the Tower of Babel and were apparently destroyed by civil war, as detailed in the Book of Ether). Alma details the missionary efforts of Alma the Elder and his son Alma the Younger, including conversions, wars with Lamanites, and the Anti-Christ Korihor's execution.
Since this is all extremely boring (and take my word for it, it doesn't get better) let's pause at this supposed "Anti-Christ" Korihor. You may assume Smith wrote the character to be an exaggerated evil beyond measure to get his point across. What you get instead is far more revealing of Smith's idiocy, and frankly Christian fundamentalist idiocy at large.
What did Korihor do that was so reprehensible? He preached a bit rationality and skepticism. He suggested children shouldn't be punished for the sins of their parents, that religious leaders often exploit their positions to abuse people, that moral rules were often human inventions, and individuals prosper according to their strength. Aside from this, the worst Korihor did was preach some things that sounded atheistic, but who can say that when Korihor supposedly said there was "no God" he didn't just mean Yahweh?
Korihor is arrested and brought before Alma the Younger, who was now serving as chief judge and High Priest. Korihor argues that belief of the Jewish tribes rests on tradition and psychological manipulation, when pressed by Alma. Alma presses him further, threatening him, and Korihor eventually buckles and admits his ideas were all inspired by "Satan" who appeared to him as an angelic figure.
In response, Alma curses Korihor with dumbness (muteness in today's terms), after which he is cast out, becomes a beggar and is then trampled to death. The Mormon idea of justice, right here.
It's obvious what Smith was intending here. Korihor was meant to be the Book of Mormon response to the rationalist skeptics of the era. Aside from questioning why this Korihor character didn't believe in a higher power when literally confronted by one, one must ask if this is the best the Mormons could do in terms of morality. He was a strawman skeptic who had none of his claims countered, admitted under duress he was deceived, then cursed and murdered. If you're a Mormon, you're meant to celebrate this and consider it a win for the tribe.
Anyway, some time after Jesus is allegedly crucified back in Jerusalem, and he decides to, after his death, manifest in the Americas to the Nephites. He more-or-less teaches the same sermons seen in the New Testament, does a few miracles, established a church and goes away. For a time, everything is great for the newly minted American Christians, until the Lamanites destroy the Nephites around 421 CE. The Prophet Mormon records this all down on the golden plates, his son Moroni finishes them and buries them. Native Americans as we know them are the descendents of the Lamanites, cursed to... have dark skin.
Racism aside, it's worth noting that Native American culture was already well-established by 421 CE, so where the Book of Mormon timeline fits in, who the hell knows.
Needless to say, it's a total rag filled with endless contradictions, absurdities and violence. Yeah, you may have thought Old Testament Yahweh was bad. Book of Mormon Yahweh is, in simple terms, an immense asshole.
Doctrine and Covenants is a compilation of 138 sections (plus two official declarations), mostly revelations received by Joseph Smith between 1823 and 1844, with some additions from later LDS leaders like Brigham Young, Joseph F. Smith, and Wilford Woodruff. Unlike the continuous narrative in the Book of Mormon, it is a collection of divine instructions, doctrines, and administrative directives for the early Latter-day Saint church, often in response to specific queries or events.
If you thought the Book of Mormon was boring, I will say now that going outside and watching the grass grow in real time would be more entertaining. That being said, there are some interesting points of controversy and stupidity here.
Much as I said that Yahweh in the Mormon religion is stupider and more violent than ever, he's also prone to more micromanagement than ever. Who should sell land. Who should borrow money. Who should run a printing press. Who should go on missions and where. Who is forgiven and who isn’t. It's almost as if there's nothing divine here and this is just Joseph Smith's political will.
And, unsurprisingly, there's a great deal of content in there trying to justify Smith's polygamy. Polygamy is commanded by Yahweh. Eternal exaltation is linked to plural marriage. Wives must accept their husband’s plural marriages or Yahweh will blow them up. Yahweh can command acts that would otherwise be immoral.
And of course, Doctrine and Covenants also specifies Mormon leaders cannot be wrong when acting in office, and you may face divine wrath for questioning them. More, obedience is actually a prerequisite for salvation.
To make matters even more confusing, despite the supposed infallibility of Smith's words, there's quite a number of versions of this book, but I'll get to why later.
The Pearl of Great Price is a short compilation of Joseph Smith's writings, translations, and revelations, canonized in 1880. It consists of five main sections: the Book of Moses, the Book of Abraham, Joseph Smith—Matthew, Joseph Smith—History, and the Articles of Faith. If you thought the previous works were bad, the Pearl of Great Price is even more abhorrent on every front.
I had earlier described Joseph Smith as a fanfiction author, and this is effectively what The Pearl of Great Price stories are; rewrites, revisions, additions and retcons of already existing Biblical stories. The Book of Moses section boils down to an expansion on Genesis 1-6 with some new idiocy thrown in for good measure. The character of "Satan" appears in an early speaking role, the Fall/Temptation of Eve are re-written to be seen as positive necessity, humans now exist before being born, Yahweh breaks tradition from the other Abrahamic sects and is shown weeping, and the entire city of Zion is beamed up to heaven. There's really no rhyme or reason to any of it, beyond Smith retroactively canonizing Adam and Eve as Mormons.
The Book of Abraham is, for its part, the most embarrassing of the bunch, as even its origin creates a massive hole in the Mormon faith that anyone with half a brain should be able to see. Joseph Smith said he translated from Egyptian papyri he acquired in 1835. What were these papyri, exactly? Excerpts from the Egyptian Book of Breathing and the Book of the Dead. They did not mention Abraham, obviously, and Smith's "translation" were just lies he made up.
Aside from the fact this is a disgusting mockery of actual sacred texts, try to imagine how stupid you would have to be to know this and believe in Mormonism anyway.
With the fact it's complete bunk notwithstanding, the Book of Abraham, naturally, follows Smith's version of the life of Abraham, with several bizarre editions. There's some new Pagan slander, in that Abraham is allegedly captured in Ur and set up to be "sacrificed" by Priests of the Gods.
But perhaps the most mindboggling part of The Book of Abraham is the revelation that Yahweh exists physically in the universe, was once a mortal himself, and that he lives on the planet Kolob. This is all a textual necessity on behalf of Smith, as part of the entire point of Mormonism is to establish the idea that Mormons can turn into Yahwehs themselves. How did Abraham see this planet? Why, he looked through seer stones, of course, just like Smith himself. What a pleasant coincidence.
Again, the Book of Abraham reaffirms Mormonism as a polytheist religion of some sort, as it's stated that "gods" created the universe (though in Mormon tradition, Yahweh is subject to natural laws and creation is born from pre-existing matter).
Joseph Smith—Matthew, Joseph Smith—History, and The Articles of Faith are too boring for me to even go into, with Matthew being a dry expansion on the Gospel according to Matthew, and History/The Articles of Faith being nothing else other than things already addressed in the article.
Instead, we will cover the church as its most ridiculous, strange and deceptive.
Oddities, Controversies and also Bigfoot
For convenience sake, I'll address this section in list format, and I'll leave out what has been covered already (historical matters, textual nonsense and polygamy). We'll start with the one I'm sure people will want to hear about first.
Cain—The Killer of Abel, turned Sasquatch: Yes, you're reading this right. It's actually genuine Mormon folkloric belief that the Biblical Cain is the famous cryptid known as Bigfoot.
In the Book of Genesis, as I'm sure most have heard, Cain is cursed for killing his brother, Abel. A "mark" is placed upon him to prevent others from killing him, though what this mark exactly is, is left uncertain. There have been many strange, often niche Christian beliefs over the centuries that the "Mark of Cain" turned his skin black, and that black people are thus descendents of Cain, and this belief certainly carried over into Mormonism. More on that soon.
However, David Patten, an early Mormon apostle (later killed at the Battle of Crooked River), reportedly (as in, according to the secondary recount of a man he briefly stayed with, not even from Patten himself) encountered a large, dark, hairy man while in Tennessee. The creature reportedly told Patten it was miserable and undying, and only existed to wander the world and destroy the souls of men. Patten identified him as Cain, and the rest is history.
It's worth noting that the Sasquatch and creatures like it have their roots in Native American beliefs and folklore, something that Smith and his top Mormons were evidently well aware of given the fact the American Indians were often used in Mormon storytelling as it was, so it's very apparent where they got the story from. By the time the iconic 1967 photo was taken, it wasn't long after before Mormons went the extra few steps and began associating Cain with Bigfoot outright. Some even say he will continue to get hairier with age.
Did Cain-Bigfoot build a boat and sail to America? Did he stowaway on the Prophet Lehi's vessel? Your guess is as good as mine.
Magic Underwear: This is another case where you're probably wondering if I'm being serious. Rest assured, I am. Mormon "temple garments" are white undergarments worn beneath regular clothing by adult Latter-day Saints who have participated in a sacred temple ceremony called the endowment. The endowment, for its part, seems to be a rather bizarre parody of certain ancient ritual rites mixed with later Freemasonic nonsense. Participants will engage in a live action roleplay of the Adam and Eve story before being given a wash and a "secret name," also receiving a list of codewords and gestures to pass through the angels in Heaven once they die. Afterwards, they will receive their temple garments, which they're expected to wear day and night for the rest of their lives without alteration.
The reason they're pejoratively called "magic underwear" by critics boils down to the fact that Mormons not only believe that wearing these will protect you from "unholy temptation", but some even believe they'll protect you from a car crash, a fire, and even a full blown natural disaster. Mormons also believe their magic underwear is sourced from the "linen breeches" Israelite priests were commanded to wear in the Exodus narrative. Of course, it's also natural to draw comparisons between this and Islamic "modesty" practices, though perhaps not as quite extreme as the Burqa or Niqab.
Despite the church and certain Mormon missionaries trying to claim they don't actually believe them to be magical, the anecdotal reality is, most anyone who grew up Mormon will typically tell you that the garments were considered magically protective. Further, if you're ever in an argument with a Mormon and you're given a reason to be petty, know that calling them "magic underpants" rankles them greatly. In all, it doesn't take a genius to understand that this is just another means of mass control over the church membership.
Baptism for the dead: This I find especially heinous. It is exactly as it sounds, a living person can baptize a dead person into the church. The Biblical justification for this is so flimsy it's typically not even an accepted process by most other Christian denominations, with the Vatican itself issuing a decree that it is erroneous and outright determining to keep its parish records out of Mormon hands.
Really stop and think about it. Imagine you or a family member happened to be buried in a graveyard that had its land one day taken over by the Mormon church. They could decide for you that you're now a Mormon and you will be baptized and recorded as such.
Though in very recent decades they claim to have stopped performing this upon utterly random people without their consent, there's every reason to suspect it has not stopped. To make matters particularly amusing, one such affected group was actually the Jews themselves, with the Mormons taking it upon themselves to baptize "Anne Frank and other Holocaust victims". How many? Up to 300,000. Apparently, despite time and time again saying that they would stop doing this, it was only in 2012 they baptized Anne Frank again for the ninth time.
Though it may be amusing in this case, it is not only the Jews the Mormons are willing to do this to. To make matters even more stupid, not only can you baptize someone after they're dead, you can go through the whole nine yards and endow them, and then "celestially marry" them as a Mormon, though, women aren't allowed to do this to men as women cannot gain priesthood.
Racism: From the mid-1800s until 1978, black men of African descent were not allowed to be ordained to the priesthood. Black members (men and women) were also barred from temple ordinances, including temple marriage and certain sacred rites. Strangely, they could still be baptized and attend the church. It's pretty apparent why. It was perfectly okay to regard people as lesser and unworthy of spiritual growth, but they still wanted them turning up for the numbers and the cash flow.
I had mentioned the curse of Cain and Ham in the Bigfoot section. This was the scriptural justification. In some Mormon belief, black people existed because their souls had been less valiant in the Mormon pre-mortal existence. Of course, some of these beliefs (particularly the curse of Cain and Ham being the explanation as to why black people existed) were present in other Christian sects of the time. But none had institutionalized it quite like the Mormons.
Many will point to the fact that the 1978 "revelation" changed matters for black people within the Mormon church, but one can easily argue that things have only changed so much, especially considering that the actual racist scripture theories weren't publicly disavowed until 2013. Brigham Young, the second Mormon President, was considered virulently racist even for the 1850s, and yet the flagship Mormon University is still proudly named after him.
Again, it's worth considered the hypocrisy of it all. Despite how long the Mormon church held tight to its racist tendencies (and still does, among certain circles), the highest growth missionary areas outside the US are within Africa and the Pacific.
Quetzalcoatl:
Yes, it's actually a belief among many Mormons that the Aztec God Quetzalcoatl is actually Jesus. If you've read SG Karnonnos' work on Tllaloc/Quetzalcoatl on the main site, you would be familiar with the actual nature of this God in the context of Mesoamerican Culture, so I won't repeat myself here, but it's of course worth noting that the Feathered Serpent deity of the Americas existed long before "Jesus Christ" was ever even a concept.
Within the mythos of Quetzalcoatl, certain overlaps with figures like Odin are extremely apparent. Instead of the idiot Mormons realizing that the overlaps are indicative of the fact everything to do with "Jesus" was stolen from elsewhere, they're instead unable to do the basic math on the dates, so they're left trying to, yet again, absorb polytheistic elements into their own religion.
Financial Deception: In 2023, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) accused the LDS Church and its investment arm, Ensign Peak Advisors, of concealing a $32 billion stock portfolio from regulators and the public between 1997 and 2019.
The allegations claimed the church created 13 shell companies (entities with no active business operations) across the U.S. to file misleading quarterly disclosures, disguising the church's ownership and control to avoid negative publicity and regulatory scrutiny.
This was said to deprive the SEC and investors of accurate market information. The church and Ensign Peak settled the charges by paying a combined $5 million fine ($1 million from the church and $4 million from Ensign Peak) without admitting or denying the allegations.
Further, a 2019 whistleblower complaint by David Nielsen, a former Ensign Peak investment manager, alleged that the church had amassed approximately $100 billion in a reserve fund from excess tithing donations (about $1 billion annually beyond operational needs), but failed to use it for charitable purposes as required for tax-exempt status under IRS rules. Instead, the funds were invested in stocks, bonds, real estate, and agriculture, with no charitable distributions made. It was all for profit, and profit alone (which should remind people a lot of Scientology).
Nielsen claimed the church used portions of the fund twice for non-charitable ends: $600 million in 2009 to bail out a church-owned insurance company and $1.4 billion starting in 2010 to develop a commercial mall near Temple Square in Salt Lake City. He argued this violated tax laws by propping up for-profit entities and called for IRS audits and penalties, including revoking tax-exempt status and back taxes potentially worth billions.
In 2023, Nielsen also urged the U.S. Senate Finance Committee to investigate the church for tax fraud. No IRS penalties have been publicly imposed as of early 2026, and regarding that, I would like to casually mention the fact that Mormons overrepresented in the FBI, CIA, and other U.S. intelligence and law enforcement agencies relative to their percentage of the general U.S. population. Think of that what you will.
---
Initially, I had planned to tie this article off mentioning who among world celebrities were Mormon, but unlike Scientology, there weren't many of particular note, though I would like to point out a few things of interest that separate Mormons from your more garden variety Christians.
When Harry Potter series first received major acclaim, many who are old enough will remember the Christian panic that transpired over it. What's particularly interesting is that this was not the reaction of the Mormons. On the contrary, Harry Potter was actually very well-received among Mormons, and this has left quite a number of people confused. The answer however, lies within the theology and culture.
Mormonism, in a similar vein to Scientology, is almost something of a "fantasy" religion in and of itself. You may have noticed that, over the course of this article, compared to your typical Protestant sludge, Mormonism is quite bizarre. There's weird elements of folk magic, sasquatches, UFOs, men becoming Angel-Gods, and so on. Harry Potter, as such, was not particularly offensive to Mormon sensibilities.
You might be wondering why this is important. It's often said among Mormons, that it's the dream of much of their youth to become fantasy writers. Many of them did. Orson Scott Card, writer of Ender's Game. Tracy Hickman, author of the Dragonlance novels. Stephanie Meyer, author of the Twilight series.
Mormons, more than the average Christian, live and breathe Mormonism. Most Mormons will admit, the religion influences their every thought. Taking Twilight as an example, despite themes of vampires and so on scaring most Christians, the series is filled to the brim with Mormon metaphorical language. The "eroticism of abstinence" portrayed between Bella and Edward, the reinterpretation of the Fall of Adam and Eve, the "eternal family" of the Cullens, Native Americans cursed to be werewolves, vampire transformation being likened to Mormon resurrection (they even glow!), and so on. The Cullen family patriarch is so obviously based on Joseph Smith it borders on laughable, with the antagonistic Volturi in turn being based on the Catholic Church.
Mormonism has snuck its way into American pop and corporate culture more than what people are generally aware. For many people, nothing screams modern America more than the shopping mall. Did you know the world's first department store is typically considered to be the Zion's Cooperative Mercantile Institution, founded by the LDS Church back in the 1860s? Further, Utah produces more presidents of large U.S. companies per capita than any other state. There is even a larger argument to be made that Mormonism itself has heavily influenced what we know as American office culture.
With all that said, when considering the spread of Mormon spirituality through parts of American culture, it's worth remembering that Mormonism will gladly self-advertise as situating itself far further within Judaism than even mainstream Christianity. The Jewish Kabbalah rituals, the naming conventions of Mormon places and businesses, the closer adherence to the Old Testament, the teaching that Mormons are Israelites. Smith even hired an actual Jewish religious leader to further spread the knowledge of Hebrew among him and other Mormon leaders. Mormons even gladly use the Star of David in their temple symbology.
Given everything, it should be apparent that Mormonism gladly operates as something of a Trojan Horse for Jewish culture and thought into the gentile races, with it being even more blatant than most of the Christian sects and denominations of the world. For these reasons alone, I would have considered Mormonism worth the time exposing, though the sheer ridiculousness of this religion and its history certainly offered me the further motivation necessary.
---
Sources
The Book of Mormon
Doctrine and Covenants
The Pearl of Great Price - Joseph Smith, 1830, 1835, 1851 (latter published by Franklin D. Richards)
Mormonism: A Very Short Introduction - Richard Bushman, 2008
Mormonism: The Story of a New Religious Tradition - Jan Shipps, 1985
Joseph Smith - Robert Remini, 2002
Jews want Mormons to stop proxy baptisms - NBC, 2008
Mormon Baptism Targets Anne Frank -- Again - Andrea Stone, 2012
Biblical killer Cain lives? Mormon folklore says Adam and Eve's outcast son may be Bigfoot - Anamica Singhm Wionews, 2025
Mormon Church fined over claim it hid $32bn of investments - Peter Hoskins, BBC, 22 February 2023
Whistleblower Says Mormon Church Abuses Its Tax Exempt Status - Lee Hale, NPR, December 18, 2019
Mormonism exists as the butt of many jokes. A uniquely American brand of cult Christianity with the usual blend of oddball practices and beliefs, often not spared a second thought even by other Christians. It's this lack of seriousness in how Mormonism is perceived that has frankly allowed it to spread like a tumorous infection. Though there is much to mock it for, this does not change the fact that the religion has operated in the shadows, attempting to widen its assets and place its members in positions of power. One will quickly see why this article followed my previous one on Scientology, as there is a notable undercurrent of similarity between the two religions. The point, once again, is to illuminate and expose what this religion is, how idiotic its theology is, and bring awareness to its many sins.
Mormonism, alternatively known as the Latter Day Saint (LDS) movement, originated in the early nineteenth century in Western New York, a region marked by intense religious revivalism known as the Second Great Awakening. Put simply, this was a period where many American Christians were trying their hardest to counter the cultural impact of the American Enlightenment. After the founding of an independent America, it could be said that Christianity was on something of a back foot, given how the Constitution and the wise men who penned it made their stance on the religion very clear.
The movement was founded by one Joseph Smith, who, like many Christian charlatans and snake oil salesmen, claimed to restore the "original" Christian church through new revelations and scriptural texts. Needless to say, given the fact it's the focus of an article, Mormonism has ever remained the subject of persistent controversy, doctrinal disputes, and critical scrutiny regarding its bizarre historical claims, strange social policies, and often malevolent institutional practices.
At its core, Mormonism asserts that after the death of the original apostles, Christianity fell into a "Great Apostasy," losing supposed divine authority and doctrinal purity. Joseph Smith claimed to have restored the true church through direct revelation and angelic visitations, positioning Mormonism as the only legitimate continuation of the early Christian church. If this sounds blatantly similar to the story of Islam to any particularly keen-eyed readers, you would be correct. There's a reason that Mormonism is memetically regarded as the kooky spin-off sequel to the Abrahamic "Sand Wars" trilogy.
This exclusivist claim is central to Mormon self-understanding and is reinforced by the Book of Mormon, which presents a dichotomous view of religious truth: all other churches are considered corrupt, and only the restored church, the Mormon church possesses divine authority.
Mormon theology incorporates elements of mainstream Christianity but diverges in significant ways. Notably, it rejects the ecumenical creeds and the doctrine of the Trinity, instead teaching a form of tritheism in which God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are distinct beings. At this stage, you're probably thinking, wait, isn't the entire foundation of Abrahamic nonsense the fact it's strictly Monotheistic? Well, not Mormons. You can be assured in knowing that this is barely the tip of the iceberg.
Other distinctive doctrines include eternal progression (the belief that humans can become gods), the necessity of temple ordinances for salvation, baptism for the dead, and, historically, plural marriage (polygamy). For those well-versed in Christianity and Islam, the idea of humans becoming higher beings (something central to our own Zevist faith) will naturally sound absolutely ill-fitting and baffling in the context of an Abrahamic religion (which it is).
The movement's scriptural canon extends beyond the Bible to include the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. These texts, particularly the Book of Mormon, are presented as ancient records translated by Joseph Smith through divine means, though as you'll soon learn, the real truth of the matter is so laughable you'll wonder how anyone believes it.
Mormonism's organizational structure is hierarchical and theocratic, with a strong emphasis on prophetic leadership. All worthy male members are ordained to the priesthood, blurring the distinction between clergy and laity. The movement self describes as having historically emphasized "communal living", "economic cooperation" within its membership, and a "strict moral code", including prohibitions on alcohol, tobacco, and certain foods, though many of these are utterly arbitrary, given they cannot, for example drink coffee or tea but can drink energy drinks (this, and Joseph Smith himself used to partake in some of these indulgences anyway).
None of these things may sound too negative on paper, but in the context of Christian cults, "communal living" often leads to the Church body ruling over families and their assets, and the economic agenda has typically been morally dubious and in some cases illegal, as you'll see in the story of its founder.
The LDS Church, headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah, claims over 17 million members worldwide, with significant populations outside its home base in the United States in Latin America, Africa, and the Pacific; all the end result of its hardcore missionary line.
Even people unfamiliar with Mormonism on any larger degree, are at least aware of Mormon missionaries, given how ubiquitous they've become, and how relentless they are. It should also be stated this strict missionary program also exists to break down its youth demographic. High school graduate Mormons are all but required to become missionaries. Part of the function is that they're sent out to be as annoying as possible, so that they can face hostile abuse and doors slammed in their faces. Why? Because it reinforces the Church as a safe space, juxtaposed with a hostile, hateful world. The same thing applies to Mormons who are sent overseas to Africa, for instance, to bear witness to human life at some of its most downtrodden.
The Latter Day Saint movement has experienced frequent schisms, often over issues of leadership succession, polygamy, and doctrinal interpretation. The largest branch, the LDS Church, abandoned polygamy in 1890 under pressure from the U.S. government, while smaller fundamentalist groups continue the practice.
All said, Mormonism is deeply intertwined with American identity and exceptionalism. The movement teaches that the United States Constitution is divinely inspired by Yahweh (yes, really, despite much it weakened Christianity's potential power in the nation) and that America is somehow the biblical promised land. Early Mormon leaders, including Joseph Smith, engaged in political activism, with Smith himself running for president in 1844 (and was also the first Presidential Candidate to be assassinated; more on that later). The movement's history is marked by conflict with state and federal authorities, including episodes of violence, forced migration, and legal battles over, again, polygamy.
Much like with L Ron Hubbard and his Scientology, to fully understand Mormonism, one has to understand its founder.
Joseph Smith - Treasure Hunter, Biblical Fanfiction Author, Wife Enthusiast
Smith was born in Sharon, Vermont, the fifth of eleven children in a family of modest means. The Smiths experienced repeated financial hardship, moving frequently and eventually settling in the "burned-over district" of western New York—a region renowned for its religious fervor and experimentation during the Second Great Awakening. The family was religiously eclectic, with members participating in various denominations, engaging in folk magic, and expressing skepticism toward organized Christianity of the time.
Smith's parents, Joseph Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith, both reported visionary experiences, and the family was known locally for their involvement in treasure-seeking using divining rods and seer stones. Put a pin in this.
Smith suffered a severe leg infection as a child, resulting in a lifelong limp. His formal education was limited, but he was described as imaginative and was regarded already as something of a story-teller among his family and acquaintances.
Neighbors viewed the Smiths as superstitious and unremarkable, with Joseph himself gaining a reputation as a "glass looker", that is, a practitioner of crystal gazing, which, in the context of the time, had certain associations with regards to charlatans and frauds (Smith even fronted court for the matter later in 1826 for apparently defrauding a local farmer).
At age fourteen, Smith reported experiencing a theophany—later known as the "First Vision"—in which Yahweh and Jesus Christ appeared to him, instructing him not to join any existing church because they were all corrupt. This event is central to Mormon theology, symbolizing the restoration of "true" Christianity. However, Smith provided at least four (some say up to ten) accounts between 1832 and 1842, each differing in details like his age (14 or 15), the number of divine beings (one "Lord" or two distinct personages), the presence of angels or dark forces, and his motivation (personal forgiveness or church corruption). Yes, some versions of this tale don't even necessarily have Yahweh or Jesus in them, and Smith is blabbed at by a group of entities who he described as all looking the same.
The 1832 version, handwritten by Smith, emphasizes sin and atonement with a single "Lord" appearing, while the 1838 account—canonized in LDS scripture—explicitly describes two personages and a broader religious revival. Skeptics see them as evolving embellishments: the earliest lacks the two-personage detail central to LDS Godhead doctrine, suggesting an obvious retroactive invention, likely coinciding with one of the church's many schisms. Even more damning, no contemporary records mention the vision until the 1830s, and early church publications focused on "angelic visitations" instead, which you would think raise some serious questions about the importance of these apparent visions, given Smith hadn't really said anything of note about them, with a canon version not even cementing until two decades after the alleged event. Even LDS historian Joseph Fielding Smith hid the 1832 version for decades, tearing pages from a journal in an attempt to conceal the inconsistencies.
These visions would mark the beginning of Smith's professional career in spurious claims.
In 1823, Smith alleged to have been visited by an angel named Moroni, who revealed the location of golden plates buried in a hill near his home, enclosed within a stone box. Moroni however, would not allow Smith to take the plates, insisting he return to the same spot a year from the day. Smith would indeed do that, but it was only after four years did Moroni allow him to take the plates. Smith asserted that the plates contained an ancient record written in "reformed Egyptian," chronicling the history of early Israelites who migrated to the Americas.
The translation process, as described by Smith and his contemporaries, involved the use of, you guessed it, seer stones and a hat. Smith would place the stone in a hat, bury his face in it to exclude light, and dictate the text that appeared to him. Witnesses reported that the plates were often not present during the translation, sometimes hidden under a cloth or not in the room at all. The resulting Book of Mormon was published in 1830 and presented as a literal history of ancient American civilizations, their dealings with Yahweh, and the visit of Jesus Christ to the Americas after his resurrection.
This is obviously a lot to take in all at once, so let's inspect some of the details more carefully. To those versed in the Abrahamic occult, you'll probably recognized "Moroni" is not an angel mentioned anywhere else. Initially, when talking about golden plates, Smith referred only to "an angel" without identifying a name. In an 1831 letter from his mother Lucy Mack Smith to her brother, she discusses Moroni as the person who buried the plates, but does not identify him as the unnamed "holy angel" that gave them to Smith.
Even in the 1832 version of events, the name "Moroni" appears, but only as a name of a supposed prophet mentioned by the angel who appeared. Only in 1835 did Smith start referring to Moroni as the angel in question, specifically in regards to the fact that, after the Second Coming, a number of angels would visit earth and decide to have a pleasant night in drinking sacramental wine with Smith and his good buddy Oliver Cowdery. One of these was Moroni, who was at last listed as the deliver of the golden plates. Case closed, right?
No. In May 2, 1838, Smith began dictating an official church history that included a more detailed account of his visits from the gold plate delivering angel. Now, the angel's name was "Nephi", a name shared with the Book of Mormon's first narrator. Several further newspapers and periodicals would also refer to the gold plate angel as Nephi. Even more stupidly, Nephi was suddenly thanked as being the one who imparted the 1923 vision. These would not be the only instances of Nephi stealing Moroni's spotlight, as the trend would continue elsewhere, even after Smith's death, though the modern LDS church typically edits out any mention of Nephi, having seemingly settled on Moroni. It's enough to make anyone's brain hurt.
But wait, there's more. According to the Book of Mormon itself, Moroni was also the son of the Mormon, of which Mormonism gets its name. Here, Moroni was given the plates by Mormon, who perished in battle, with Moroni finishing the plates. So Moroni is now both a mortal and an angel somehow. Nowhere in any other Abrahamic religion do men become angels, which is made even stupider by the fact Mormons believe that the angel of Revelation 14:6 is in fact, Moroni.
If you've been paying attention, you may have also noticed that Smith claimed the golden plates were written in "reformed Egyptian." Ignoring the Nephi/Moroni mix up (again), this is stated in the Book of Mormon in Nephi 1:2.
"Yea, I make a record in the language of my father, which consists of the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians."
So what is "reformed Egyptian" anyway? Nobody knows. It's not a form of Egyptian attested to in the scholarly context. Like many things, it seems Smith just made it up. But here's the real question.
Why was a Jew in 600BCE America writing in Egyptian? Nephi's father Lehi lived in Jerusalem before departing on the American exodus.
Needless to say, no such golden plates ever existed in the first place. Conveniently, no one else had seen them other than Smith himself, as he said the angel had told him not to show anyone. Those that had claimed to have seen them, later admitted they only had seen them with their "mind's eye", and others who claimed to have touched them, confessed they had only touched a stack of plates hidden under a cloth. The truly ironic thing here is, those among his 1927 associates who actually believed the plates existed, ransacked his house looking for them, forcing Smith and his wife to leave their home of Palmyra with the assistance of a wealthy neighbor and devotee. Who, mind you, would also grow skeptical of the plates' existence, subsequently asking to "borrow" some of Smith's translated manuscript and then promptly losing it somehow. Smith fell into a deep depression from this, claiming the angel had taken the plates away, and briefly attended Methodist church until a "practicing necromancer" was allowed to join.
In 1828, the angel Moroni would purportedly return the plates to Smith, and the translation process would continue, with Smith once again finding himself with his face stuffed into the inside of a hat. Sometimes the alleged plates weren't even in the same room as him when he was dictating the translation. It was in 1829 that Smith would meet his aforementioned and highly contentious friend Oliver Cowdery, who would assist him in the transcription process.
The resulting Book of Mormon was published in 1830, purportedly the "most correct" book on planet earth. We'll inspect the contents later, but for now understand that our very own Zevist Personality Mark Twain referred to it as "chloroform in print".
Following the publication of the Book of Mormon, Smith formally organized the Church of Christ (later renamed several times, as you can see) on April 6, 1830, with a small group of followers. Converts were sent to establish settlements in Kirtland, Ohio, and Independence, Missouri, both of which, naturally, became centers of conflict with local populations. There was something about the Mormons that people just didn't seem to trust, with Smith's early 1826 trial sticking in people's minds.
In one instance, Cowdery had baptized several new members of the church, though the process would be interrupted before Smith could even confirm the newly baptized, being charged with being a "disorderly person", though would soon be acquitted... and subsequently arrested and acquitted again. This time an angry mob was waiting for him outside, so Smith and Cowdery had to flee.
For the greater part of the 1830s, the Mormon church mostly operated out of Ohio. Upon first moving to the area, Smith encountered a style of Christianity insane even for his standards. The people here were rolling around on the ground in fits and speaking in tongues, like a modern day Evangelical show church. Nevertheless, numbers were numbers and Smith recruited them in anyway, getting them to dial it back a little.
It was around this time the specter of polygamy began to haunt the Mormon church. A cousin of his wife accused Smith of attempting to seduce a local girl by the name of Eliza Winters. To this, Smith flatly replied that "adultery is no crime." From here, Smith began to teach polygamy as doctrine to some of his more trusted followers. In 1831, Smith told a then 12 year old Mary Rollins that Yahweh told him she would be his wife. Interesting thing to say to a 12 year old. Though, in Smith's defense, unlike the Prophet Muhammad, Smith would at least wait until Rollins was 23 before taking her as one of his wives. I should also note that, at the time of his death, Smith had over 40 wives, with the number perhaps going as high as 49. He had so many in fact, there's no conclusive answer.
Things would turn ugly in 1832. Smith and his primary assistant, one Sidney Rigdon of Ohio, would be dragged out of their beds, beaten, tarred and feathered. This is where it would end for Sidney, but the mob had other plans for Smith. Smith would be tied to a board and stripped naked, before the mob demanded a doctor who had accompanied them to castrate Smith then and there. After he refused, the mob tried to feed him poison, though to little success, as Smith would be going about his usual business the next day, baptizing people as if nothing had happened.
But why did this happen? Simple. Recent converts to the church found out their properties would be placed under the church's control. This is what they really meant by "communal living." If you're wondering about the castration, it seemed the mob was also aware Smith had a certain penchant for taking wives of just about anyone, even women who he briefly lived with. In their mind, Smith was guilty of sexual impropriety, and they had the urge to do something about it.
Despite all this, converts continued to pour into Smith's little personal kingdom in Kirtland, Ohio, with the membership swelling to two thousand, with the church's fellowship beginning to adopt certain Millennial beliefs (that is, the idea Smith was ushering in a messianic age that would exist prior to the Last Judgment). If you're aware of certain other Christian cults who adopted Millennial considerations, you're probably aware of where this is eventually going.
In July of 1831, Smith visited Independence in Jackson County, Missouri and announced a revelation that this would be the "center place" of a new Zion, which was Smith's way of saying they would live there something akin to Jonestown style communists.
Those already living in Jackson County, however, were not so fond of the recent surge of Mormons in the area. It was plain to see why. Mormon growth was rapid, and locals were worried that the Mormons would constitute a majority come election time, and would thus all but rule Jackson County.
This would come to a head in July of 1833. Conflict broke out between Non-Mormons and Mormons, with the former attempting to eject the latter out of their properties. After an exchange of fire, one Mormon and two non-Mormons were killed, though it would be the Mormons who were effectively chased out of the area.
Smith petitioned the Missouri governor, albeit unsuccessfully. In response, Smith organized a 200-man paramilitary forced he named Zion's Camp. To call it a failure would be an understatement. Extremely disorganized, struck with a cholera outbreak which killed 14 of his own and grossly outnumbered, Smith simply gave up and attempted to find a peaceful solution.
After his resounding success of a military campaign, Smith returned to his roots as a treasure hunter, visiting Salem, Massachusetts to search for a trove of gold coins, Yahweh having apparently informed him of there being "much treasure" in the city.
A month later he and his men returned to Ohio empty handed.
Speaking of empty hands, it was around this time in 1837 that Smith tried to found his own Mormon bank, the Ohio legislature refusing to hand over the paperwork that would have made it possible. Smith, genius that he was, instead found the "anti-bank-ing" (his spelling, not mine) enterprise and began printing notes, telling his followers to invest. The anti-bank was evaluated at a cool four million, which as you might imagine was substantial for the time. So much in fact, that the total capitalization of all major banks in Ohio was only worth around nine million.
If you know anything about basic economics, you can probably assume where this all went. The "bank" collapsed in a month. Mormons in Kirtland lost out hard on their investments, and subsequent harassment from debt collectors followed. Smith was personally held responsible for the massive failure, which was now coming on top of the costs required to build the movement's first temple in Kirtland. Defections from the church at this time were widespread, and Smith and Rigdon were both charged and found guilty with the crime of illegally running of a bank. Turns out calling it an "anti-bank" wasn't exactly foolproof.
Soon after, in a page straight out of the L Ron Hubbard playbook, Smith was also arrested and charged with conspiring to murder a critic of his. Of this however, Smith was acquitted, as some of his favorite lackeys testified glowingly in his favor.
One accusation which did stick, however, did not come from a legal opponent, instead coming from his old longtime friend Oliver Cowdery. Yet again, Smith was accused of adultery, having apparently engaged in sexual indecency with a teenage servant girl, Fanny Alger. Cowdery was sentenced with excommunication from the church for seeking to destroy Smith's good name with false allegations. As of 2014 however, the LDS commonly reports that Smith actually had married Fanny Alger.
Criticism and legal issues had grown insurmountable, with many Mormons now openly decrying Smith as a fallen prophet, among other things. Smith, in his usual sneaky fashion, snuck away in the night with Rigdon, leaving the Kirtland Mormons to take over and fend for themselves, though, many of them would end up following him anyway.
Tail tucked firmly between his legs, Smith would try his hand at Missouri again in 1838, abandoning plans to reclaim Independence, declaring the town of Far West would be the new Zion. It was here that the church took on its more common name of "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints".
It was during this particular stretch of time (as you may have noticed, if you have a particular mind for dates) that Smith began cementing the specifics of his canon, and cracking down on the dissenters within the church (including Cowdery), founding the fraternity of the Danites to do so. Again referencing Scientology, this was somewhat similar to the infamous Guardian Office. Too many people were poking holes in the golden plates story of Smith's, and he aimed to do something about it, by gathering up as many signatures as he could of the Mormon top brass to prove once and for all, that the dissenters were not in good company. Seeing as they were described as a "great evil" that had to be "put right" and "cleansed", the dissenters fled the territory, and the Danites remained an established internal faction, just in case Smith ever required them again. And he would, possibly sooner than he realized.
Like seemingly anywhere the Mormons went, tensions quickly turned against them locally. Old Missourians began to grow hostile against the Latter Day Saints, and given Smith was almost castrated the last time he faced mob violence, you could assume he wasn't going to take too many chances. At this stage of the game, Smith earnestly believed the only way Mormonism would truly survive is if it took militant action against non-Mormons.
By August of 1838, these tensions came to a head. Similar to the Missourians in Jackson County, those in Daviess County had little to no interest in Mormons taking part in their local elections. So much so in fact, 200 men tried to physically prevent them from voting.
What followed next was particularly ugly. Armed groups on both sides raided settlements, burned homes, and seized property. The Missourians had grown so suspicious of the Mormons it appeared they were willing to do just about anything, as the Mormons had not done themselves any favors, surrounding the homes of a prominent judge and sheriff and coercing them to sign statements that they would not act against the Mormons. Vigilantism against the Mormons would be spurred on by these actions, but the Mormons would respond just as badly, if not worse. As one witness said:
"We could stand in our door and see houses burning every night for over two weeks... the Mormons completely gutted Daviess County. There was scarcely a Missourian's home left standing in the county. Nearly every one was burned."
Even the Missourians who had been friendly to the Mormons were not spared by the Danite mob. One Gallatin merchant who had been selling his goods to the Mormons on credit had his business burned down. Even a Judge who had often been on their side was forced to flee. The Danites had gone so far even some of their fellow Mormons were shocked, as over a hundred families had been displaced by their violence, and what was once the largest town in the county, Millport, was left a ghost town to this very day.
Many families, fearing Mormon attack, fled across the Missouri river. A state militia formed to patrol the no-man's land between counties to quell further potential violence. A group of Mormons, very stupidly, attacked the Missouri state militia, mistaking them for anti-Mormon vigilantes, inciting the Battle of Crooked River. All out panic followed. Fearing a full blown Mormon insurrection following exaggerated reports of the battle, Governor Lilburn Boggs issued Missouri Executive Order 44. Simply put, it was an extermination order of the Mormons. As a small fact, the loathing of the Mormons in Missouri was so intense, Order 44 wasn't rescinded until 1976.
On October 30, 5 days after the Battle of Crooked River, a party of Missourians ambushed and killed seventeen Mormons in the Haun's Mill massacre. The day following, the Mormons surrendered to the state troops and agreed to forfeit their property and leave the state of Missouri. Joseph Smith and the Mormon leadership was arrested yet again, and were charged with treason, though, Smith would again evade any serious justice, escaping imprisonment with his fellows and fleeing with his Mormons to Illinois.
American newspapers at the time were critical of the Haun's Hill massacre, so it wasn't any real surprise that one state or another felt inclined towards accepting the errant Mormon refugees. In Illinois, with Smith now portraying the Mormons as an oppressed minority group (and unsuccessfully petitioning for government reparations), the Latter Day Saints would purchase a piece of swampy woodland in the hamlet of Commerce.
Initially at least, Smith and his Mormons would seem to have a better run of luck, attracting several important allies, including one John C. Bennett, Illinois' quartermaster general. With a new connection to the Illinois state legislature in the form of Bennett, Smith was able to obtain a strangely liberal charter for his budding city, and renamed it "Nauvoo". Not only would Smith's newly minted Nauvoo have near autonomy from the rest of Illinois and the right to found its own university, but Smith and his Mormons would have the right of habeus corpus. That is, Smith had determined his own right not to be extradited back to Missouri to face charges again. This seemingly miraculous charter would also grant Smith the right to found his own militia, no doubt to prevent another Mormon War. It's worth noting that, with the establishment of this legion of his, Smith had under his control the largest contingent of armed men in all of Illinois at the time. Bennett and Smith would lead the militia, and Bennett would serve as town mayor and assistant president of the church.
Summing it up, not only had Smith determined he was immune to facing legal repercussions, but that he should also have total autonomy over his people, their education, and have a large armed force at his disposal bigger than anything else in the state. Put together, you would not admonish anyone in Illinois for feeling uneasy.
Seemingly higher on his own farts than ever, Smith would begin innovating Mormon doctrine further and further. The Nauvoo Temple would be built for the purpose of recovering "lost ancient knowledge" (that likely being, the nonexistent Jews who used to live in pre-Columbian America), and Smith would introduce "baptism for the dead". More on that later. In essence, Smith had received a number of strange pieces of inspiration from having recently observed some Freemasonic rites, and blended them together with some Jewish Kaballah to make his own rituals. Women would of course continue to be barred from any of this spiritual progression, though clearly being of progressive mind he would at least create a club where women could gather around and do chores for free.
Now, Smith was no longer content with merely ruling a town-sized "Zion". He now envisioned all of the Americas (yes, Central and South America as well) as part of his great Millennial Kingdom, which would eventually become a theocratic rule over the entire earth.
Smith continued "secretly" practicing polygamy during Nauvoo, and slowly introduced more and more of his close associates to it, obviously being somewhat guarded about the matter despite obviously wanting people to warm up to the idea. Bennett would casually blab about Smith's "spiritual wifery" and the rumor spread beyond Mormon ears. Smith was so displeased he immediately stripped Bennett of all his roles and forced him to leave Nauvoo. Bennett, after all he had given, did not take to this kindly, and began accusing Smith of effectively everything I have disclosed in this article already. Sexual immorality, corruption, indecency, conspiracy, political espionage, and so on.
Part way through 1842, roughly three years into the Mormon stay in Nauvoo, popular opinion in Illinois began to shift very negatively, perhaps in no small part to Bennett telling the world of his many grievances, though one in particular stood out among the rest. Missouri governor Lilburn Boggs, around this time, found himself the victim of an assassination attempt—shot in the head, though somehow managing to survive.
Rumor had it, Smith's own bodyguard, one Porter Rockwell, was the gunman. One of Bennett's letters claimed Smith had admitted to sending Rockwell to do the deed, to "fulfill prophecy". Aside from Bennett's accusations, there were reasons to suspect Rockwell of the attempt, and he never really denied it, only stating that he had done "nothing criminal" when accused of the crime.
Though Rockwell would eventually be acquitted, as the Grand Jury felt they lacked the evidence to convict him conclusively, he was still held for a year, and the new Governor of Missouri felt the evidence was substantial enough to petition for Smith's extradition.
Believing he'd be killed were he to return to Missouri, Smith went into hiding for a time, though the U.S. Attorney would go on to deem his hypothetical extradition as "unconstitutional".
The next year in 1843, Smith would go on to gain yet another wife. This would be the youngest of his wives at the mere age of 14, tied with Nancy Maria Winchester, who he married around the same time. Her father, one of Smith's own "Twelve Apostles", had encouraged the union.
Later in 1843, Illinois Governor Thomas Ford issued an extradition warrant, following up upon his predecessor’s arrest warrant. Two officers arrested Smith, but the group was intercepted by a gang of Mormons before they could reach Missouri. Smith would be set free by the writ of habeus corpus from his own court, inciting considerable political fallout in Illinois.
Perhaps feeling emboldened and untouchable, Smith went on a marriage spree, beginning in 1842 and continuing in earnest through 1843. As stated, many of these girls were teenagers. Smith would reveal a "revelation" about polygamy, that it was, in fact, divine command that he have this many wives. That he was "sealing" the women to "raise up seed" to God. Hilariously, he would even go as far as to say an angel told him if he didn't marry all these women, that the angel would destroy him. Many of the women he married were already married to other men within the church, and many of them married Smith with their consent. If there was ever a religion where cuckolding was divine mandate, this would be it.
In August of 1843, Smith would physically assault county assessor (that is, someone who determines the value of property and assets) Walter Bagby, though Smith would only be fined for this particular crime. The very next month, Smith would assault yet another man who turned up in Nauvoo with a warrant for his arrest, seemingly oblivious of the fact Smith had been tried and acquitted in his own court already. For this, Smith would receive no charge.
In November, Smith grew ill, and suspected he was being poisoned by none other than his original wife, Emma, who at various points had agreed to or resisted against Smith's increasing degrees of polygamy. In December, Smith attempted to petition Congress to make Nauvoo its own independent territory (that is, independent from Illinois and its laws), while also gaining the ability to call upon federal troops if they were ever attacked again. Smith outright began asking would-be presidential candidates what exactly they would do if the Mormons were ever in danger. Most gave a half-hearted response or simply responded negatively. The answer to Smith was obvious.
He would run to become the President of the United States.
His platform had many typical policies of the time, aside from the various liberties he wanted to specifically grant Mormons. Despite this, Smith would increasingly find himself at odds with his own Mormons, and a rift began to form with him and some of his closest, after Smith took it upon himself to sleep with at least one man's wife, this time without his consent. To make matters worse, the husband, one Robert D. Foster, served as a general in Nauvoo's own militia.
Foster wanted Smith to confess and repent before the High Council. Smith decided otherwise and simply excommunicated him, charging Foster with apostasy and immorality. These would be the first crucial dominoes in Smith's eventual downfall.
After everything that had happened, combined with his increasing desire to seemingly control every facet of his followers' lives, Smith realized his theocratic dystopia would never be allowed to fully develop under U.S. law. He convened his Council of Fifty, to discuss founding their own government and where exactly in America they could establish it, given America at this stage was still founding its states (Texas during this time was its own Republic, and California was still several years off becoming a state at the end of the Mexican Wars, hence these being discussed as potentials by Smith). In the meanwhile, the Council and Smith would graciously decide what U.S. laws they would even bother following.
On March 9th, Smith preached to his followers about the apparent plurality of Gods, which would prove especially controversial among Christians who already had it in for the Mormons. It's worth noting that Smith's "polytheism" wasn't Pagan in nature, rather it was simply to justify the idea Smith himself (and his most devout followers) would become as Gods themselves.
To inflame their negative opinions further, Smith would have himself confirmed as "Prophet, Priest and King", common attributes belonging to Jesus in Christian thought.
By this stage, Smith had excommunicated enough dissenters that they went and found their own Mormon Churches, like the "True" Church of the Latter Day Saints, in which Smith's founding ideas were still valid, except he himself was a fallen Prophet. Some of these dissidents testified before a grand jury that Smith was guilty of adultery, fornication and perjury. But they wouldn't stop there.
On June 7, the Mormon dissidents published the first issue of the Nauvoo Expositor, a newspaper aimed at exposing Smith for his adultery and "polytheism", as well as his intent to establish his own theocracy that did not have to answer to the United States.
The Nauvoo City Council under Smith decried the paper as a public nuisance, and demanded its destruction. Smith fully believed he had every right to do so, and commanded his City Marshall and a hundred man posse to destroy the Nauvoo Expositor's printing press. Smith, idiot that he was, was oblivious of the fact trying to silence the press would only enrage his detractors more than even the claims themselves would, and this would prove Smith's most fatal error yet.
Non-Mormons in Hancock County were outraged, knowing that Smith and his Mormons considered themselves above the law. Multiple other newspapers called for action against the Mormons, and on June 12, the Hancock County Justice of the Peace issued a warrant for the arrest of Smith and 17 other Mormons.
Constable David Bettisworth arrived in Nauvoo on the same day to place Joseph Smith under arrest and convey him to Carthage, but Smith was again freed by the municipal court. This was not going to stall Bettisworth for long, as he promised to return. Fearing another arrest attempt and another round of vigilante mob violence, Smith mobilized his Mormon legion and martial law was declared in Nauvoo.
The officials in Carthage responded by mobilizing a detachment of the state militia, and Governor Ford threatened to raise an even larger militia unless Smith and the Nauvoo City Council surrendered themselves. Smith, in his usual fashion, tried to flee, but eventually surrendered once his safety was promised, as he likely knew that he wasn't going to get away this time.
Smith and his brother Hyrum were placed on trial in Carthage on June 25th. The initial charge was for inciting a riot—the direct consequence of destroying the Nauvoo Expositor—but the charges were increased once they were actually in custody to treason, forbidding anyone from simply posting their bail and setting them free. Several Mormons voluntarily joined Smith in captivity, with two others smuggling him pistols.
Smith and the other Mormon prisoners would spend the 27th of June in the jailer's bedroom. Despite Smith's history of jailbreaks (and the death threats against him), they were only guarded by a mere six men. The long bitter anti-Mormons would soon learn of this, paint their faces black, form a mob, and storm the jail. Upon their approach, Smith would ironically tell the guards not to worry, believing the mob to be the Nauvoo Legion, here to rescue him.
The guards did not bother defending Smith. They reportedly fired off several blank shots into the air to make it sound like they tried, though others would allegedly go as far as to join the mob. Smith and his Mormons would try to barricade the door, though this would result in Hyrum being shot in the face and killed.
The mob broke through, and Smith began to open fire himself, only injuring three men, before attempting to escape out the window. Smith would be shot multiple times, staggering and falling out the window, crying out "Oh Lord my God!" before hitting the ground.
To fully understand the anger people had for Smith and the Mormons, it's worth noting that this was still not enough for the mob. Several men arranged in a firing squad and began to repeatedly shoot Smith's body, just to make sure he was absolutely dead.
Though Smith would be remembered as a martyr by the more devoted Mormons, most non-Mormon Americans would remember Smith as a fanatic, scoundrel and a charlatan. The Mormon church would splinter into various sects of both loyal fundamentalists breakaway factions, pledging their loyalty to various actors, picking and choosing what parts of the doctrine they would keep and discard.
Despite everything, the Mormon church would continue, albeit not as a wholly unified force.
Mormon Theology - For When Christianity Isn't Stupid Enough
Though Mormons have the Old and New Testaments as part of their canon, it's the Mormon belief that the modern day Bible is filled with errors and is incomplete. This is where the Book of Mormon comes in, to apparently correct the record in full.
The complete Mormon spiritual canon functions in a similar way to Islam and its Hadith, in that the Book of Mormon is not the sacred text, though mileage may sometimes vary depend on who you're asking. For the fundamentalist Mormon, you must also consider Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. For full clarity, I will explain these texts before picking them apart further.
The Book of Mormon, as described earlier, is presented as an ancient record translated by Joseph Smith from golden plates inscribed in "reformed Egyptian." It is divided into 15 books, primarily chronicling the history of two main civilizations in the ancient Americas: the Nephites and Lamanites, who are depicted as descendants of Israelite families that migrated from Jerusalem around 600 BCE.
The narrative begins with the First Book of Nephi, where the prophet Lehi receives visions warning of Jerusalem's destruction and leads his family—including sons Nephi, Laman, Lemuel, and Sam—across the ocean to the Americas. Conflicts arise between the righteous Nephi and his rebellious brothers Laman and Lemuel, leading to the division into Nephites (followers of Nephi) and Lamanites (followers of Laman).
The Book of Mosiah shifts to a parallel group, the Mulekites (another Israelite migration, how many were there?), and introduces King Benjamin's sermon on service and atonement, followed by his son Mosiah's reign, which includes the discovery of the Jaredites' records (a pre-Israelite people who migrated after the Tower of Babel and were apparently destroyed by civil war, as detailed in the Book of Ether). Alma details the missionary efforts of Alma the Elder and his son Alma the Younger, including conversions, wars with Lamanites, and the Anti-Christ Korihor's execution.
Since this is all extremely boring (and take my word for it, it doesn't get better) let's pause at this supposed "Anti-Christ" Korihor. You may assume Smith wrote the character to be an exaggerated evil beyond measure to get his point across. What you get instead is far more revealing of Smith's idiocy, and frankly Christian fundamentalist idiocy at large.
What did Korihor do that was so reprehensible? He preached a bit rationality and skepticism. He suggested children shouldn't be punished for the sins of their parents, that religious leaders often exploit their positions to abuse people, that moral rules were often human inventions, and individuals prosper according to their strength. Aside from this, the worst Korihor did was preach some things that sounded atheistic, but who can say that when Korihor supposedly said there was "no God" he didn't just mean Yahweh?
Korihor is arrested and brought before Alma the Younger, who was now serving as chief judge and High Priest. Korihor argues that belief of the Jewish tribes rests on tradition and psychological manipulation, when pressed by Alma. Alma presses him further, threatening him, and Korihor eventually buckles and admits his ideas were all inspired by "Satan" who appeared to him as an angelic figure.
In response, Alma curses Korihor with dumbness (muteness in today's terms), after which he is cast out, becomes a beggar and is then trampled to death. The Mormon idea of justice, right here.
It's obvious what Smith was intending here. Korihor was meant to be the Book of Mormon response to the rationalist skeptics of the era. Aside from questioning why this Korihor character didn't believe in a higher power when literally confronted by one, one must ask if this is the best the Mormons could do in terms of morality. He was a strawman skeptic who had none of his claims countered, admitted under duress he was deceived, then cursed and murdered. If you're a Mormon, you're meant to celebrate this and consider it a win for the tribe.
Anyway, some time after Jesus is allegedly crucified back in Jerusalem, and he decides to, after his death, manifest in the Americas to the Nephites. He more-or-less teaches the same sermons seen in the New Testament, does a few miracles, established a church and goes away. For a time, everything is great for the newly minted American Christians, until the Lamanites destroy the Nephites around 421 CE. The Prophet Mormon records this all down on the golden plates, his son Moroni finishes them and buries them. Native Americans as we know them are the descendents of the Lamanites, cursed to... have dark skin.
Racism aside, it's worth noting that Native American culture was already well-established by 421 CE, so where the Book of Mormon timeline fits in, who the hell knows.
Needless to say, it's a total rag filled with endless contradictions, absurdities and violence. Yeah, you may have thought Old Testament Yahweh was bad. Book of Mormon Yahweh is, in simple terms, an immense asshole.
Doctrine and Covenants is a compilation of 138 sections (plus two official declarations), mostly revelations received by Joseph Smith between 1823 and 1844, with some additions from later LDS leaders like Brigham Young, Joseph F. Smith, and Wilford Woodruff. Unlike the continuous narrative in the Book of Mormon, it is a collection of divine instructions, doctrines, and administrative directives for the early Latter-day Saint church, often in response to specific queries or events.
If you thought the Book of Mormon was boring, I will say now that going outside and watching the grass grow in real time would be more entertaining. That being said, there are some interesting points of controversy and stupidity here.
Much as I said that Yahweh in the Mormon religion is stupider and more violent than ever, he's also prone to more micromanagement than ever. Who should sell land. Who should borrow money. Who should run a printing press. Who should go on missions and where. Who is forgiven and who isn’t. It's almost as if there's nothing divine here and this is just Joseph Smith's political will.
And, unsurprisingly, there's a great deal of content in there trying to justify Smith's polygamy. Polygamy is commanded by Yahweh. Eternal exaltation is linked to plural marriage. Wives must accept their husband’s plural marriages or Yahweh will blow them up. Yahweh can command acts that would otherwise be immoral.
And of course, Doctrine and Covenants also specifies Mormon leaders cannot be wrong when acting in office, and you may face divine wrath for questioning them. More, obedience is actually a prerequisite for salvation.
To make matters even more confusing, despite the supposed infallibility of Smith's words, there's quite a number of versions of this book, but I'll get to why later.
The Pearl of Great Price is a short compilation of Joseph Smith's writings, translations, and revelations, canonized in 1880. It consists of five main sections: the Book of Moses, the Book of Abraham, Joseph Smith—Matthew, Joseph Smith—History, and the Articles of Faith. If you thought the previous works were bad, the Pearl of Great Price is even more abhorrent on every front.
I had earlier described Joseph Smith as a fanfiction author, and this is effectively what The Pearl of Great Price stories are; rewrites, revisions, additions and retcons of already existing Biblical stories. The Book of Moses section boils down to an expansion on Genesis 1-6 with some new idiocy thrown in for good measure. The character of "Satan" appears in an early speaking role, the Fall/Temptation of Eve are re-written to be seen as positive necessity, humans now exist before being born, Yahweh breaks tradition from the other Abrahamic sects and is shown weeping, and the entire city of Zion is beamed up to heaven. There's really no rhyme or reason to any of it, beyond Smith retroactively canonizing Adam and Eve as Mormons.
The Book of Abraham is, for its part, the most embarrassing of the bunch, as even its origin creates a massive hole in the Mormon faith that anyone with half a brain should be able to see. Joseph Smith said he translated from Egyptian papyri he acquired in 1835. What were these papyri, exactly? Excerpts from the Egyptian Book of Breathing and the Book of the Dead. They did not mention Abraham, obviously, and Smith's "translation" were just lies he made up.
Aside from the fact this is a disgusting mockery of actual sacred texts, try to imagine how stupid you would have to be to know this and believe in Mormonism anyway.
With the fact it's complete bunk notwithstanding, the Book of Abraham, naturally, follows Smith's version of the life of Abraham, with several bizarre editions. There's some new Pagan slander, in that Abraham is allegedly captured in Ur and set up to be "sacrificed" by Priests of the Gods.
But perhaps the most mindboggling part of The Book of Abraham is the revelation that Yahweh exists physically in the universe, was once a mortal himself, and that he lives on the planet Kolob. This is all a textual necessity on behalf of Smith, as part of the entire point of Mormonism is to establish the idea that Mormons can turn into Yahwehs themselves. How did Abraham see this planet? Why, he looked through seer stones, of course, just like Smith himself. What a pleasant coincidence.
Again, the Book of Abraham reaffirms Mormonism as a polytheist religion of some sort, as it's stated that "gods" created the universe (though in Mormon tradition, Yahweh is subject to natural laws and creation is born from pre-existing matter).
Joseph Smith—Matthew, Joseph Smith—History, and The Articles of Faith are too boring for me to even go into, with Matthew being a dry expansion on the Gospel according to Matthew, and History/The Articles of Faith being nothing else other than things already addressed in the article.
Instead, we will cover the church as its most ridiculous, strange and deceptive.
Oddities, Controversies and also Bigfoot
For convenience sake, I'll address this section in list format, and I'll leave out what has been covered already (historical matters, textual nonsense and polygamy). We'll start with the one I'm sure people will want to hear about first.
Cain—The Killer of Abel, turned Sasquatch: Yes, you're reading this right. It's actually genuine Mormon folkloric belief that the Biblical Cain is the famous cryptid known as Bigfoot.
In the Book of Genesis, as I'm sure most have heard, Cain is cursed for killing his brother, Abel. A "mark" is placed upon him to prevent others from killing him, though what this mark exactly is, is left uncertain. There have been many strange, often niche Christian beliefs over the centuries that the "Mark of Cain" turned his skin black, and that black people are thus descendents of Cain, and this belief certainly carried over into Mormonism. More on that soon.
However, David Patten, an early Mormon apostle (later killed at the Battle of Crooked River), reportedly (as in, according to the secondary recount of a man he briefly stayed with, not even from Patten himself) encountered a large, dark, hairy man while in Tennessee. The creature reportedly told Patten it was miserable and undying, and only existed to wander the world and destroy the souls of men. Patten identified him as Cain, and the rest is history.
It's worth noting that the Sasquatch and creatures like it have their roots in Native American beliefs and folklore, something that Smith and his top Mormons were evidently well aware of given the fact the American Indians were often used in Mormon storytelling as it was, so it's very apparent where they got the story from. By the time the iconic 1967 photo was taken, it wasn't long after before Mormons went the extra few steps and began associating Cain with Bigfoot outright. Some even say he will continue to get hairier with age.
Did Cain-Bigfoot build a boat and sail to America? Did he stowaway on the Prophet Lehi's vessel? Your guess is as good as mine.
Magic Underwear: This is another case where you're probably wondering if I'm being serious. Rest assured, I am. Mormon "temple garments" are white undergarments worn beneath regular clothing by adult Latter-day Saints who have participated in a sacred temple ceremony called the endowment. The endowment, for its part, seems to be a rather bizarre parody of certain ancient ritual rites mixed with later Freemasonic nonsense. Participants will engage in a live action roleplay of the Adam and Eve story before being given a wash and a "secret name," also receiving a list of codewords and gestures to pass through the angels in Heaven once they die. Afterwards, they will receive their temple garments, which they're expected to wear day and night for the rest of their lives without alteration.
The reason they're pejoratively called "magic underwear" by critics boils down to the fact that Mormons not only believe that wearing these will protect you from "unholy temptation", but some even believe they'll protect you from a car crash, a fire, and even a full blown natural disaster. Mormons also believe their magic underwear is sourced from the "linen breeches" Israelite priests were commanded to wear in the Exodus narrative. Of course, it's also natural to draw comparisons between this and Islamic "modesty" practices, though perhaps not as quite extreme as the Burqa or Niqab.
Despite the church and certain Mormon missionaries trying to claim they don't actually believe them to be magical, the anecdotal reality is, most anyone who grew up Mormon will typically tell you that the garments were considered magically protective. Further, if you're ever in an argument with a Mormon and you're given a reason to be petty, know that calling them "magic underpants" rankles them greatly. In all, it doesn't take a genius to understand that this is just another means of mass control over the church membership.
Baptism for the dead: This I find especially heinous. It is exactly as it sounds, a living person can baptize a dead person into the church. The Biblical justification for this is so flimsy it's typically not even an accepted process by most other Christian denominations, with the Vatican itself issuing a decree that it is erroneous and outright determining to keep its parish records out of Mormon hands.
Really stop and think about it. Imagine you or a family member happened to be buried in a graveyard that had its land one day taken over by the Mormon church. They could decide for you that you're now a Mormon and you will be baptized and recorded as such.
Though in very recent decades they claim to have stopped performing this upon utterly random people without their consent, there's every reason to suspect it has not stopped. To make matters particularly amusing, one such affected group was actually the Jews themselves, with the Mormons taking it upon themselves to baptize "Anne Frank and other Holocaust victims". How many? Up to 300,000. Apparently, despite time and time again saying that they would stop doing this, it was only in 2012 they baptized Anne Frank again for the ninth time.
Though it may be amusing in this case, it is not only the Jews the Mormons are willing to do this to. To make matters even more stupid, not only can you baptize someone after they're dead, you can go through the whole nine yards and endow them, and then "celestially marry" them as a Mormon, though, women aren't allowed to do this to men as women cannot gain priesthood.
Racism: From the mid-1800s until 1978, black men of African descent were not allowed to be ordained to the priesthood. Black members (men and women) were also barred from temple ordinances, including temple marriage and certain sacred rites. Strangely, they could still be baptized and attend the church. It's pretty apparent why. It was perfectly okay to regard people as lesser and unworthy of spiritual growth, but they still wanted them turning up for the numbers and the cash flow.
I had mentioned the curse of Cain and Ham in the Bigfoot section. This was the scriptural justification. In some Mormon belief, black people existed because their souls had been less valiant in the Mormon pre-mortal existence. Of course, some of these beliefs (particularly the curse of Cain and Ham being the explanation as to why black people existed) were present in other Christian sects of the time. But none had institutionalized it quite like the Mormons.
Many will point to the fact that the 1978 "revelation" changed matters for black people within the Mormon church, but one can easily argue that things have only changed so much, especially considering that the actual racist scripture theories weren't publicly disavowed until 2013. Brigham Young, the second Mormon President, was considered virulently racist even for the 1850s, and yet the flagship Mormon University is still proudly named after him.
Again, it's worth considered the hypocrisy of it all. Despite how long the Mormon church held tight to its racist tendencies (and still does, among certain circles), the highest growth missionary areas outside the US are within Africa and the Pacific.
Quetzalcoatl:
The story of the life of the Mexican divinity, Quetzalcoatl, closely resembles that of the Savior; so closely, indeed, that we can come to no other conclusion than that Quetzalcoatl and Christ are the same being. But the history of the former has been handed down to us through an impure Lamanitish source, which has sadly disfigured and perverted the original incidents and teachings of the Savior's life and ministry. — Mediation and Atonement, p. 194, LDS Church president John Taylor, 1892.
Yes, it's actually a belief among many Mormons that the Aztec God Quetzalcoatl is actually Jesus. If you've read SG Karnonnos' work on Tllaloc/Quetzalcoatl on the main site, you would be familiar with the actual nature of this God in the context of Mesoamerican Culture, so I won't repeat myself here, but it's of course worth noting that the Feathered Serpent deity of the Americas existed long before "Jesus Christ" was ever even a concept.
Within the mythos of Quetzalcoatl, certain overlaps with figures like Odin are extremely apparent. Instead of the idiot Mormons realizing that the overlaps are indicative of the fact everything to do with "Jesus" was stolen from elsewhere, they're instead unable to do the basic math on the dates, so they're left trying to, yet again, absorb polytheistic elements into their own religion.
Financial Deception: In 2023, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) accused the LDS Church and its investment arm, Ensign Peak Advisors, of concealing a $32 billion stock portfolio from regulators and the public between 1997 and 2019.
The allegations claimed the church created 13 shell companies (entities with no active business operations) across the U.S. to file misleading quarterly disclosures, disguising the church's ownership and control to avoid negative publicity and regulatory scrutiny.
This was said to deprive the SEC and investors of accurate market information. The church and Ensign Peak settled the charges by paying a combined $5 million fine ($1 million from the church and $4 million from Ensign Peak) without admitting or denying the allegations.
Further, a 2019 whistleblower complaint by David Nielsen, a former Ensign Peak investment manager, alleged that the church had amassed approximately $100 billion in a reserve fund from excess tithing donations (about $1 billion annually beyond operational needs), but failed to use it for charitable purposes as required for tax-exempt status under IRS rules. Instead, the funds were invested in stocks, bonds, real estate, and agriculture, with no charitable distributions made. It was all for profit, and profit alone (which should remind people a lot of Scientology).
Nielsen claimed the church used portions of the fund twice for non-charitable ends: $600 million in 2009 to bail out a church-owned insurance company and $1.4 billion starting in 2010 to develop a commercial mall near Temple Square in Salt Lake City. He argued this violated tax laws by propping up for-profit entities and called for IRS audits and penalties, including revoking tax-exempt status and back taxes potentially worth billions.
In 2023, Nielsen also urged the U.S. Senate Finance Committee to investigate the church for tax fraud. No IRS penalties have been publicly imposed as of early 2026, and regarding that, I would like to casually mention the fact that Mormons overrepresented in the FBI, CIA, and other U.S. intelligence and law enforcement agencies relative to their percentage of the general U.S. population. Think of that what you will.
---
Initially, I had planned to tie this article off mentioning who among world celebrities were Mormon, but unlike Scientology, there weren't many of particular note, though I would like to point out a few things of interest that separate Mormons from your more garden variety Christians.
When Harry Potter series first received major acclaim, many who are old enough will remember the Christian panic that transpired over it. What's particularly interesting is that this was not the reaction of the Mormons. On the contrary, Harry Potter was actually very well-received among Mormons, and this has left quite a number of people confused. The answer however, lies within the theology and culture.
Mormonism, in a similar vein to Scientology, is almost something of a "fantasy" religion in and of itself. You may have noticed that, over the course of this article, compared to your typical Protestant sludge, Mormonism is quite bizarre. There's weird elements of folk magic, sasquatches, UFOs, men becoming Angel-Gods, and so on. Harry Potter, as such, was not particularly offensive to Mormon sensibilities.
You might be wondering why this is important. It's often said among Mormons, that it's the dream of much of their youth to become fantasy writers. Many of them did. Orson Scott Card, writer of Ender's Game. Tracy Hickman, author of the Dragonlance novels. Stephanie Meyer, author of the Twilight series.
Mormons, more than the average Christian, live and breathe Mormonism. Most Mormons will admit, the religion influences their every thought. Taking Twilight as an example, despite themes of vampires and so on scaring most Christians, the series is filled to the brim with Mormon metaphorical language. The "eroticism of abstinence" portrayed between Bella and Edward, the reinterpretation of the Fall of Adam and Eve, the "eternal family" of the Cullens, Native Americans cursed to be werewolves, vampire transformation being likened to Mormon resurrection (they even glow!), and so on. The Cullen family patriarch is so obviously based on Joseph Smith it borders on laughable, with the antagonistic Volturi in turn being based on the Catholic Church.
Mormonism has snuck its way into American pop and corporate culture more than what people are generally aware. For many people, nothing screams modern America more than the shopping mall. Did you know the world's first department store is typically considered to be the Zion's Cooperative Mercantile Institution, founded by the LDS Church back in the 1860s? Further, Utah produces more presidents of large U.S. companies per capita than any other state. There is even a larger argument to be made that Mormonism itself has heavily influenced what we know as American office culture.
With all that said, when considering the spread of Mormon spirituality through parts of American culture, it's worth remembering that Mormonism will gladly self-advertise as situating itself far further within Judaism than even mainstream Christianity. The Jewish Kabbalah rituals, the naming conventions of Mormon places and businesses, the closer adherence to the Old Testament, the teaching that Mormons are Israelites. Smith even hired an actual Jewish religious leader to further spread the knowledge of Hebrew among him and other Mormon leaders. Mormons even gladly use the Star of David in their temple symbology.
Given everything, it should be apparent that Mormonism gladly operates as something of a Trojan Horse for Jewish culture and thought into the gentile races, with it being even more blatant than most of the Christian sects and denominations of the world. For these reasons alone, I would have considered Mormonism worth the time exposing, though the sheer ridiculousness of this religion and its history certainly offered me the further motivation necessary.
---
Sources
The Book of Mormon
Doctrine and Covenants
The Pearl of Great Price - Joseph Smith, 1830, 1835, 1851 (latter published by Franklin D. Richards)
Mormonism: A Very Short Introduction - Richard Bushman, 2008
Mormonism: The Story of a New Religious Tradition - Jan Shipps, 1985
Joseph Smith - Robert Remini, 2002
Jews want Mormons to stop proxy baptisms - NBC, 2008
Mormon Baptism Targets Anne Frank -- Again - Andrea Stone, 2012
Biblical killer Cain lives? Mormon folklore says Adam and Eve's outcast son may be Bigfoot - Anamica Singhm Wionews, 2025
Mormon Church fined over claim it hid $32bn of investments - Peter Hoskins, BBC, 22 February 2023
Whistleblower Says Mormon Church Abuses Its Tax Exempt Status - Lee Hale, NPR, December 18, 2019

