Invalid this whole time? Was this worthless?

The most important thing to understand about the dedication ritual is that it is a symbolic rite of passage. It is not as strict as something like a planetary square where you must do it exactly as written. Don't let this give you anxiety... the Gods are very understanding when it comes to this particular ritual. You've shown your dedication by your will to take action and perform the ritual; that's more than enough for them.

I don't think this makes your dedication invalid. If anything, what you did shows dedication, although it probably wasn't the best idea to jam a pen in an open wound; remember the Gods want us to be healthy.

I knew it would be easier for you to open your wound, but it wasn't necessary to write your name in blood, when I performed the initiation ritual, I just used a drop of blood as a symbol by itself.

So this begs the question, was my Dedication invalid? I've been extremely worried and anxious about this since I've thought over it again.

It is not invalid. Please don't be worried and anxious about it, your anxiety might pose a barrier between you and doing more rituals because of the fear of doing it wrong.

[ invalid this whole time ]

This kind of thing seem recurrent and common by the way, some doubt dedication ritual, some think the Gods left them etc..

I do not know why is that, i still even after real theophanies sometimes get moments of doubt.

For example, after the last thread i said about the probability of conversation with Goddess,

It made me think, imagine if all this is mental only,

[ was all experiences invalid this whole time ]

I noticed journaling helps in that,

The moment you have an experience, it is usually the moment when you have the strong belief, i noticed in my experience,

When i do not write the experience instantly sometimes i even think this never happened literally,

For example in thr ´conversation with probably a Goddess’,

I head a word that i did not know and googled instantly, then went back to the experience after all this finished i forgot the word,and i felt like if i never heard it and like if it was just hallucination or not clear hearing,

Luckily i could go back to the history in my search engine, and found there the word written, and upon seing i recalled, and was like omg so it was just a memory problem now i am sure is interfere with experiences

That being said, i personally recommend you write your experiences with Gods all of them, and synchronicities,

And write also how strongly you believe that was real, write how real that was at that moment and your rzaction to it in that moment,

When you will have doubts like in your thread, you will be able to go back, and read all those and how you were ´sure ´,

Also, it is important to not mistake every single experience you are sure about for being real, however, you will get authentic experiences and you will know, and having those written and being able to go back to them, will strenghten your belief,

Make sure to write small or very small experiences they do compound and that reveals patterns sometimes,

Make sure also to write experiences you doubt,

I had some experiences that i dismissed and they turned out to be important.

I saw once a humanoid eyes open, without trance, and unexpectedly,

My body was shocked and reacted faster than my conscious mind it was the flinch mechanism, my solar plexus was going crazy, i saw him face to face,

Happened in same week, after petitioning Gods to appear,

And after all that, i now feel like if i just hallucinated, and i do recall at moment of experiencing that i could not even handle the experience, it surpassed the senses,

I do not know from where this doubt comes, it manifests in several ways, maybe the mind inability to understand the supernatural events it encounters,

I also had times where i thought Gods left me, this i had a lot many times,

I documented those, so now if i doubt that, i will go read those experiences again and how i was wrong.. journaling is best cure from my experience, thanks to HPL i knew that through her. [ i mean journaling technique, the above is my own speculation based on experience, read and form your own personal opinion ]

I thank all of you for your responses.

The member that introduced me to Zevism to me indicated as long as blood is used in the signature it follows the instructions, is valid ad doesn't necessarily have to be every single letter. I too had trouble getting substantial amount and the end was faded. I have no doubt its valid at all. We meant every word. The Gods know this. You know this. I know this. Do not worry fellow Zevist.