Xian influence and culture leaves overtones in all people's minds that live in it as a result they feel apprehension and fear of Enki/Satan and his Servent's/demons as a result of indoctrination even subconcious domination that they try to achieve don't worry its okay to be afraid.
Fear will only hold you back. I'm sure other Satanists where afraid, too. Don't let fear be the deciding factor, you have nothing to fear. If you need to, tell yourself that, meditate with that being a type of mantra, or ask Satan to be there with you.
I felt the same way in the beggining, then, when I did the dedication ritual I could feel his presence and I knew I did the right thing. If you choose to dedicate yourself to satan he will protect you and not hurt you. Take your time and get used to this religion, then dedicate yourself when your ready... dont rush into it.
