Father saves me yet again...like he always does!!!!

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

Warning...its a long one... I was home alone- as usual...
So i got my deck and set of runes to find out abt a few things. My runes are consecrated en i use them for devination. I was abit skeptical abt asking them because at times they rub ugly truths in my face!! You know....they give me answers that at times i dnt want to hear...
But anyway..i asked them abt a couple of few things and they were ryt..they told me a lot abt my spiritual progress. I also asked them about this trip that am supposed to make..a journey. They told me a lot of stuff abt fate..how this whole thing is out of my hands..they told me abt how home is best..and so much Bs that really upset me.
I was like hell no..i need to make this trip(truth is this would be  a great escape for me!!_one that i really need.)
I told them they were giving me so much that i couldnt add up. So i asked for a straight answer.. I have a deck of runes..and a set of ceramic rune stones..i made them both. For straight answers i consult the stones...i draw NAUTHIZ and ISA and throw them for yez or no. Just the two of them.
I got a lot of negative answers.
I was growing more and more frustrated. So i consulted the deck..asking why the trip wasn't going to be possible.
I draw three runes to represent the past present and future. But this time i decided to draw just one rune from the deck!! <SighWell i drew Raido in reverse!!
And that is as clear as it can get abt a journey or any travel plans. Raido in reverse can mean bad luck..or the travel plans will be upset..or worse!!! That was clear enough to know that there was to be no trip or there better be no trip. I got so furrious.. But then a very random thought crossed mi mind!! Out of the blue..I told my self that...
"If that trip does not happen i will die"
I wrapped up ny runes en put them away.
The shocker is how my mind started to capitalise on the "i will die" part!! Now...
i did something so terrible that i won't be able to face my parents in the near future. The trip would some how save me from facing them. Wel after the rune session i started feeling troubled..
I started praying to Satan that he helps me out...i begged him to make this escape possible...
But my mind kept telling me that the journey will NOT happen.
That made me feel like perhaps that was Satans answer.. that i should just chill and find other means. I started getting depressed. Picturing what my mom would do if she found out what i had done.
I started geting clear images of a crucifixion in my head. That's what my mother would do to me.....but then that's not worse than disowning me..or me having to watch the pain in her eyes as she sufferers from the shock of my betrayal.
I tryed to dismiss the thoughts but they just got more and more intense!!
I got so worrid abt how i was going to handle the whole situation.
Oh i felt the need of escape so desperately!!
Then one single clear thought crossed ny mind.
DEATH!!
There's no beter escape than death.
There's nothing to fear abt death afteral. I will go to hell....which is nothing like the tells of toure islam promises. Just get a knife and slit your throat.
That easy..it is the quickest way..
In less than half an hour i had made over ten different suicide strategies. I told my self that i couldn't do that to my family..not to my mom.
A voice in my head..sked me if i was kidding my self...that there's nothing that i could do that could outweigh the damage and betrayal that i had already done.
That..
Am a hypocrite
A faluire..
And a lair!!!!
That my mother can never forgive me for what i have done!! So i should deal with that.. never like NEVER in my life have i ever thought abt suicide!!
But here i was..with a vivid picture of a knife stuck in my throat imprinted on my mind.
I felt like such a loser...and i was crying and i started to have one of those terrible moments of emotional breakdown. I jumped into my bed and cryed..like i always do.
And when i was tired of crying i decided to do medition...but the foul thoughts of suicide hadnt gone away!!
The more i tryed to meditate my mind would just run back to it..
It all just rose up like bile in my throat en i was chocking on it..
The voice in my head started to get a aggressive..saying..
'Cmon..
The life your leading already sucks..
Think about it..
Your broke..
You gat no frends..
You spend the entire day locked in with a book in yr hands pretending to read this and that..
Yet you should be out doing what girls your age do...living life!!
Then your family...its not your family really..your different! Your not wanted....i mean if you can't blend into your own family then where can you blend in??
You have aleays been the black ship of the family..the only two people that stand by you__Your mother and brother..you have not only failed them..but betrayed them!!!
If you dnt comitt suicide then you will have to watch your mother die before your own eyes from the shock!! Well..That went on for hours... Suddenly i just told the voice in my mind.."OH FUCK OFF!!!" stop hounding me..
But the voice in my head raised its..err..voice..en sed..GO ON KEEP LYING TO YOUR SELF..oh your good at that too. Blame this on the angels..you can blame the mess your in on the angels too..
Only one fact remains...YOUR DOOMED!!
But you dnt have to go through it all..Satan loves you..you can always just ask him to reincarnate you into a beter life.
All you have to do is end this mess and you wnt have to answer to no one!! No one!! I started thinking abt the day my mom will learn the truth of what i have done..and i came to agree that...that moment alone would kill us both.
Then i thought abt my lonely life...and agreed that iam my living life the wrong way!!
But above all...uggh.. I was so disgusted with my life..
En i wished the ground could swallow me.
In that moment i felt that suicide was the only pleasant thought on my mind...and at that moment it was all i had that thought... Drowning in the pools of my tears...my cell phone rang...but i couldn't recognise the number.
I pickked up and didn't say a word..there was this pain I'm my throat from crying that couldn't allow me to speak. Well it was just some guy that i helped out at school that had called to say thank you.
But he sed something that made me smile. Huh..
I am the sort of person that would smile ear to ear even amidist tears...given even the smallest reason to laugh.
He didn't say much but i found myself happy.
I didn't even prompt him to say much but i was....happy.
I was so happy to here an actual persons voice other than my delusions.
His voice made me feel like...am not alone in the world. Which feeling had engulfed me for hours. Well now i know that i was happy because am the kind of person that is naturally happy.
And you can only be happy because you appreciate life. Yes..i sit alone locked in..but i find my joy in my books. And reading makes me happy.
My family members dispise me because i dnt wear a veil and i date nonmoslems en i dnt go to the mosque...FUCK them!! Then my mother...she loves me more than any thing in this world..she will surely forgive me. Father saved me from the torment of angels...that's because....well....its not very often i get calls from ...strangers.
All i know is after the call i did not feel depressed any more or even think about suicide!!!

 

[descipleofthegods13]

You worried me.. You outta know by now that those fuckers will put that shit in your face, knowing DAMN WELL they're responsible for causing such feelings, and then try to convince you that they're your thoughts. I know this shit all too well. I have a lot of intelligence on the enemy due to unforeseen circumstances .

It was so obvious to me. Know this, NEVER do such a thing, or dwell on such things. Make the best of what you can with your life. If you can't smile, then fake a laugh. Laughter can act as an unofficial banishing in itself.
Laugh real hard. I'm going through some really hard shit too. I have no friends where I live( don't want any tbh my area is full of communists or redneck xians.) I'm out in the middle of the fuckin' woods with no job, no reason to even bother getting one now since the economic collapse in USA is going to be historical... grr...

I have the psychiatric lunatics on my ass about taking pissreali poison which I need to get the fuck away from in order to advance but the pissreali poison is tied into a money check(due to the enemy having kept me "entertained" for the past 11 years which is why I haven't had a job in those past 11 years, which also ties into what little medical I can get If I stop taking the pissraeli poison it all goes boom), I've got next to no money, There's no recreation here except what I have bought off of amazon with what little time is left, it's just a huge piss stinking rat hole. To top it off, I love playing music, but due to past trauma from the enemy, I cannot even fuckin' play the instrument with horrible memories coming back.

My point is, DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING GIVE UP!! I certainly haven't.
Tbh, you're story scared me a bit. I care..

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

Thank you Very much brother.
Satan bless you!! A lot!! ....
I can't give up!!
Am not a quitter!!
But then sometimes all one needs is a word of encouragement. So thanks...again.
Well now am bit familiar with angel attacks.
Just today i have had one.. So i was with some guy..his a sickler so i help him out with a lot of things. He suffers from emotional trauma. So i hang out with him because every body else...well..is very negative towards him.
So its today i have discovered that his a born again. Watching him closely...i started to realise something. This guy ccan tell things..i think his psychic!!
I told him what some one sed abt him en he was like..." i know, the lord has talked me. This and this happened"
Instantly i knew that he had filfy angels with him. The funny part is when he sed..randomly that "the lord has told me something else..you are going to get an academic scholarship soon" I almost jumped from my seat. Thinking that the next thing he was going to say is that --the loard has told me you are a SATANIST!! Well.. can't fail to admitt that a small voice in my head screamed..."i wish..."..nah...i can't even say what i thought. I cursed mi self for that.. So thats the journey i was  talking abt in the previous post. Its a scholarships to sturdy in turkey that i applied for. Am already  studying in my country but university is so expensive. And the greatest sin i committed a gainst my mom is not paying the full amount of the tuition for the semesters ...yet she neshed so had to get the money. Like she really went through hell to get that money. Well i didnt use the money for my personal plessures..no i bought scholarstic materials.. Cause she sent me to school with nothing. Well now exams have reached en i haven't yet cleared. I missed a few tests because of that.
That's whats killing me!!
How will i do the exams?
If i miss the exams then the bigger lot i paid would be wasted.
And if mom learns of this she will die!!! She understand how i came to use the tuition money--~~oof all things ~~the tuition?? But no worrriz..i know father Satan is watching out for me. I just have to play my part in getting the money..en i know he will do his. He always does!!
Well if i go to turkey ...then thats good by to all my problems. Huh.
Well today the enemey has tempted me to bow to him by presenting me with the verything i crave most!! The trip to turkey.
All i had to do is say..Amen!! And believe what mr.psychic sed!! Well am a shamed to say that my desires betrayed me for a brief second when i smiled and sed" really?" En i pictured my self in turkey!! But it was only a brief moment.  Soon i realised that its angels messing with me.
I sat back and shook my head in disbelief. WHAT THE FUCK DO ANGELS WANT FROM ME!!!.. oh i told them to fuck off. Tat am with SATAN!!! forever. He is my true and only god.
And if the scholarship is not from him..then they should go shove it ip there assess!! Hail Satan
SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD Satan has done so much for me..and the most registered moments are those when he saves me in desperate times. You know..calling to him ...or even not...but he proves that he's always there for me!! Hail Satan
Hail all hell.

On Apr 14, 2015 5:10 AM, "descipleofthegods13@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  You worried me.. You outta know by now that those fuckers will put that shit in your face, knowing DAMN WELL they're responsible for causing such feelings, and then try to convince you that they're your thoughts. I know this shit all too well. I have a lot of intelligence on the enemy due to unforeseen circumstances .

It was so obvious to me. Know this, NEVER do such a thing, or dwell on such things. Make the best of what you can with your life. If you can't smile, then fake a laugh. Laughter can act as an unofficial banishing in itself.
Laugh real hard. I'm going through some really hard shit too. I have no friends where I live( don't want any tbh my area is full of communists or redneck xians.) I'm out in the middle of the fuckin' woods with no job, no reason to even bother getting one now since the economic collapse in USA is going to be historical... grr...

I have the psychiatric lunatics on my ass about taking pissreali poison which I need to get the fuck away from in order to advance but the pissreali poison is tied into a money check(due to the enemy having kept me "entertained" for the past 11 years which is why I haven't had a job in those past 11 years, which also ties into what little medical I can get If I stop taking the pissraeli poison it all goes boom), I've got next to no money, There's no recreation here except what I have bought off of amazon with what little time is left, it's just a huge piss stinking rat hole. To top it off, I love playing music, but due to past trauma from the enemy, I cannot even fuckin' play the instrument with horrible memories coming back.

My point is, DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING GIVE UP!! I certainly haven't.
Tbh, you're story scared me a bit. I care..

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

..you gat no friends?
Then all you gat is your music but you can't enjoy it cormfortably.
Well if its all you gat then hold unto it...gravel in the memories until it can't hurt or haunt you no more!!! Secondly(this you already know!) Is that you gat family in the egroups..so your not alone. But- most important is father..more than any one his there for you. And hey..you dnt have to be alone..how about you befriend a demon..not necessarily a saccubus..but a demon friend.
Have him teach you lots of stuff..and be a friend. I know now is a difficult time..en the demons are busy..but that doesn't keep them from being there when you need them. If you know yr Gd..then even beter.
Talk to him often. Hail Satan
May he bless aand keep you

On Apr 14, 2015 5:10 AM, "descipleofthegods13@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  You worried me.. You outta know by now that those fuckers will put that shit in your face, knowing DAMN WELL they're responsible for causing such feelings, and then try to convince you that they're your thoughts. I know this shit all too well. I have a lot of intelligence on the enemy due to unforeseen circumstances .

It was so obvious to me. Know this, NEVER do such a thing, or dwell on such things. Make the best of what you can with your life. If you can't smile, then fake a laugh. Laughter can act as an unofficial banishing in itself.
Laugh real hard. I'm going through some really hard shit too. I have no friends where I live( don't want any tbh my area is full of communists or redneck xians.) I'm out in the middle of the fuckin' woods with no job, no reason to even bother getting one now since the economic collapse in USA is going to be historical... grr...

I have the psychiatric lunatics on my ass about taking pissreali poison which I need to get the fuck away from in order to advance but the pissreali poison is tied into a money check(due to the enemy having kept me "entertained" for the past 11 years which is why I haven't had a job in those past 11 years, which also ties into what little medical I can get If I stop taking the pissraeli poison it all goes boom), I've got next to no money, There's no recreation here except what I have bought off of amazon with what little time is left, it's just a huge piss stinking rat hole. To top it off, I love playing music, but due to past trauma from the enemy, I cannot even fuckin' play the instrument with horrible memories coming back.

My point is, DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING GIVE UP!! I certainly haven't.
Tbh, you're story scared me a bit. I care..

 

[descipleofthegods13]

These goddamn little shits pull this shit all the goddamn time. They'll use their slaves(xians) to fuck with your head. How also do they do this if, fuck with your brain chemicals along with certain things that tick shit that you haven't gotten over in your subconsciousness.

I know that all too well. I have been victimized by that shit many many.. times before. I'd just smile at slavebrahamics like this, and say, yeah well, you think that, I'll think the way I want. Try to never reveal your allegiance to Father Satan around these psychological manipulators as 95% of xians are. The 5%(my parents in this category yay!) Won't likely fuck with you. My parents just let me be.

Remember this, pressume that all xians are subject to orders at any time from their higher ups these:
http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/ ... d929ba.jpg

And are always commanded to fuck with you, cause confusion, or other possibly horrible problems like attaching to your chakras which can drain you, and other things. They are total slaves to the greys, higher up still, the reptilians both jews, and their makers the full on reptilians.

I got fucked with today because I gave my grandma her mail(She recited some bullshit about the rib lie, and I said in my head that that story is ripped off from the original story which was a Spiritual Allegory for Godhood, titled "The Serpent In the Garden Anki" The original account is awesome. The kike account is made out to make us look like vile pieces of shit who need to "pay pay pay" to the kike until our death. It's a good thing  read that sermon by High Priest MageSon6666 or I would have had worse trouble. Also jizzus popped into my head which I was kinda bothered by)

So, yeah, xians are trouble no matter what. My parents were Satanistst in the past, I know this from a lot of thinking, and introspection, so they're not like other xians. Assume the same about muslims as well, as they even get violent like the xians of yesterday.

They're not to be trusted, but family(is sometimes different) Ours seem to be anyway.

So, I have basically broken off entirely from my grandma as she is a hardcore xian, just without the anger, and direct hatred. But all the same.

Never let the enemy fuck with you. My advice is to know your enemy as thoroughly as you can. I know a lot because of unforeseen circumstanes .

But, you'll learn eventually. Stay strong. HAIL SATAN!
 

 

[richardlesterhailsatan11]

Lol... I like it when christians and muslims bring up their bullshit in front of my face, it always gives me a chance to crush their faith. My family knows better to not bring that crap up in front of me... Anyways, as for divination, like Tarot Cards or Runes, or any form of divination for that matter, can always be manipulated by enemy angels depending on how advanced you are. If you aren't advanced psychically, it is easy for angels to manipulate the tarot, runes, or w/e your using to give you wrong answers, trick you, or what ever... Unless you know how to connect with our Gods and keep that connection, divination is pretty much useless in my opinion...

 

[descipleofthegods13]

I gots no friends because of this piss stinking place goddammit!!

Almost everyone here is a goddamn xian. I was lucky to find 1 atheist who I talked to the other day. We're not really acquainted but she's alright.

Yeah, this community, and these ... "people" are thoroughly fucked. I'll see bodies dropping like flies soon as ebola hits this shit like the Viatnam war. But yes, Father Satan does help me out with my loneliness a lot. I also have two trees I communicate with psychically from time to time. With trees you go on what you feel, rather than what is said.

I do have my parents. I loved living where I used to, I got forced out here due to unforeseen circumstances.
And yes, I love listening to music, and watching anime. It's mainly what I do along with coming here. Got not much else to do really but look at 40 acres of cleared land surrounded by woods.

It's at least 18 minutes to the city, and there's not much to do really... No tennis courts, dunno where the bowling alley is, no baseball, or pool, which is also what I like to do. Just hunting and fishing...

Hunting is a necessity, not a sport, fishing gets old eventually...

So, I do the best I can.
Thanks for your concern.

I look forward to leaving this rat hole eventually which I will first chance.

 

[fake name]

What I find hilarious is how jews always try to blame muslims for everything they do and then when I confront them with real facts they make up fairy tales and pull random stories out of their ass whenever their argument is anything more detailed than calling me a racist or antisemite xD
DEATH TO PISSRAEL AND ALL JEWS!DEATH TO XIANITY!HAIL SATAN!



On Wednesday, April 22, 2015 9:24 PM, "richardlesterhailsatan11@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:


  Lol... I like it when christians and muslims bring up their bullshit in front of my face, it always gives me a chance to crush their faith. My family knows better to not bring that crap up in front of me... Anyways, as for divination, like Tarot Cards or Runes, or any form of divination for that matter, can always be manipulated by enemy angels depending on how advanced you are. If you aren't advanced psychically, it is easy for angels to manipulate the tarot, runes, or w/e your using to give you wrong answers, trick you, or what ever... Unless you know how to connect with our Gods and keep that connection, divination is pretty much useless in my opinion...

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

Am a lot happy now.
Very little things make me happy..en i love life...i have big plans..VERY BIG PLANS FOR MY FUTURE!!!
so am not won't die any time soon. Any way..
divination is pretty much useless in my opinion... Divination used to help me a lot. It helped me advance spiritually...but majorly i used to talk to father through my deck of runes when i was still very new.
But after opening my crown...i trying very much to communicate with father psychically.
Though i had gotten addicted to the rune..i used not to do anything without consulting them...which is why i think the enemy is trying to use them to mess with me!!! Because i trust them so much. Divination helpes me to make hard choices...dnt you think its nice to know the future possibilities...i think its nice..but that's just it..posibilities... On Apr 23, 2015 4:45 PM, "devilsAdvocate Nic" <nic.dn6@... wrote:

I have been studying runes for atleast five months now...now am very acquitted with them...i loved reading them...back then..but not any more..not with these fucking jewhovanites messing with me. It has gotten really intense...they really want to break me!!!!
Just yesterday i had the shit in my mouth!!  20Pills of diclofenac!!!
And before swallowing i told Satan
"...please father idnt want to die..."
Its along story..just rembering meks me cry!!!
SWEET SATAN AM SUCH A SOFTY!!!!!
it naggs me so much i disgust my self!!
I wish there was something i could do to make my heart stronger en harder!!!
You know the situation where people take your kindness for weaknesses..en you can't help it...its what you are!!! I hate my self for it..but not to the extent that i should die for it.... Yesterday i wrote a suicide note..en it sed..      I wish i was cow or a duck or atleast a pig. Love you mom...
Well am alive...
Father saved me...and now i sort of hate it  that he always fights my battles for me. You know the day starts out so fine...everything so normal..i go to school..get back home..then i just find my self seated in corner with all these thought(this is all new...it all just started recently) in my head and am crying...with lots of pills in my mouth!!
It all just happens so suddenly!!!!
Its a clear attack.
I have tryed every thing.
And i know its the angels..father told me yesterday.
He made them go away en it all just stoped like it had been switched off!! I know why my meditation isn't working..its coz am weak..am so weak angainst the angels. But am having my school vacation starting monday...ama start a serious mediation program that will send these bitches back to where they came from. For now all i have is the algis that i vibrate into my aura..and i draw energy from the sun for the aura of protection. I respect my deck of runes so much..but now am considering burning them. For the rune stones...i have put them away for sometym! Hail Satan.

On Apr 23, 2015 4:24 AM, "richardlesterhailsatan11@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  Lol... I like it when christians and muslims bring up their bullshit in front of my face, it always gives me a chance to crush their faith. My family knows better to not bring that crap up in front of me... Anyways, as for divination, like Tarot Cards or Runes, or any form of divination for that matter, can always be manipulated by enemy angels depending on how advanced you are. If you aren't advanced psychically, it is easy for angels to manipulate the tarot, runes, or w/e your using to give you wrong answers, trick you, or what ever... Unless you know how to connect with our Gods and keep that connection, divination is pretty much useless in my opinion...

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

Hail Satan!!
I want to start on aserious meditation that wil deal with the piece of shits...
Any suggestions.
I aready have a few ideas...but most of them i have already tryed them..so...anything new and powerful??? On Apr 23, 2015 8:07 PM, "devilsAdvocate Nic" <nic.dn6@... wrote:

By the way..all these attacks..
I know Satan doesn't let us go through things we can't handle...his there for us... So what doesn't kill me makes me stronger...i just stand alittle taller!!! On Apr 12, 2015 11:32 PM, "devilsAdvocate Nic" <nic.dn6@... wrote:

Warning...its a long one... I was home alone- as usual...
So i got my deck and set of runes to find out abt a few things. My runes are consecrated en i use them for devination. I was abit skeptical abt asking them because at times they rub ugly truths in my face!! You know....they give me answers that at times i dnt want to hear...
But anyway..i asked them abt a couple of few things and they were ryt..they told me a lot abt my spiritual progress. I also asked them about this trip that am supposed to make..a journey. They told me a lot of stuff abt fate..how this whole thing is out of my hands..they told me abt how home is best..and so much Bs that really upset me.
I was like hell no..i need to make this trip(truth is this would be  a great escape for me!!_one that i really need.)
I told them they were giving me so much that i couldnt add up. So i asked for a straight answer.. I have a deck of runes..and a set of ceramic rune stones..i made them both. For straight answers i consult the stones...i draw NAUTHIZ and ISA and throw them for yez or no. Just the two of them.
I got a lot of negative answers.
I was growing more and more frustrated. So i consulted the deck..asking why the trip wasn't going to be possible.
I draw three runes to represent the past present and future. But this time i decided to draw just one rune from the deck!! <SighWell i drew Raido in reverse!!
And that is as clear as it can get abt a journey or any travel plans. Raido in reverse can mean bad luck..or the travel plans will be upset..or worse!!! That was clear enough to know that there was to be no trip or there better be no trip. I got so furrious.. But then a very random thought crossed mi mind!! Out of the blue..I told my self that...
"If that trip does not happen i will die"
I wrapped up ny runes en put them away.
The shocker is how my mind started to capitalise on the "i will die" part!! Now...
i did something so terrible that i won't be able to face my parents in the near future. The trip would some how save me from facing them. Wel after the rune session i started feeling troubled..
I started praying to Satan that he helps me out...i begged him to make this escape possible...
But my mind kept telling me that the journey will NOT happen.
That made me feel like perhaps that was Satans answer.. that i should just chill and find other means. I started getting depressed. Picturing what my mom would do if she found out what i had done.
I started geting clear images of a crucifixion in my head. That's what my mother would do to me.....but then that's not worse than disowning me..or me having to watch the pain in her eyes as she sufferers from the shock of my betrayal.
I tryed to dismiss the thoughts but they just got more and more intense!!
I got so worrid abt how i was going to handle the whole situation.
Oh i felt the need of escape so desperately!!
Then one single clear thought crossed ny mind.
DEATH!!
There's no beter escape than death.
There's nothing to fear abt death afteral. I will go to hell....which is nothing like the tells of toure islam promises. Just get a knife and slit your throat.
That easy..it is the quickest way..
In less than half an hour i had made over ten different suicide strategies. I told my self that i couldn't do that to my family..not to my mom.
A voice in my head..sked me if i was kidding my self...that there's nothing that i could do that could outweigh the damage and betrayal that i had already done.
That..
Am a hypocrite
A faluire..
And a lair!!!!
That my mother can never forgive me for what i have done!! So i should deal with that.. never like NEVER in my life have i ever thought abt suicide!!
But here i was..with a vivid picture of a knife stuck in my throat imprinted on my mind.
I felt like such a loser...and i was crying and i started to have one of those terrible moments of emotional breakdown. I jumped into my bed and cryed..like i always do.
And when i was tired of crying i decided to do medition...but the foul thoughts of suicide hadnt gone away!!
The more i tryed to meditate my mind would just run back to it..
It all just rose up like bile in my throat en i was chocking on it..
The voice in my head started to get a aggressive..saying..
'Cmon..
The life your leading already sucks..
Think about it..
Your broke..
You gat no frends..
You spend the entire day locked in with a book in yr hands pretending to read this and that..
Yet you should be out doing what girls your age do...living life!!
Then your family...its not your family really..your different! Your not wanted....i mean if you can't blend into your own family then where can you blend in??
You have aleays been the black ship of the family..the only two people that stand by you__Your mother and brother..you have not only failed them..but betrayed them!!!
If you dnt comitt suicide then you will have to watch your mother die before your own eyes from the shock!! Well..That went on for hours... Suddenly i just told the voice in my mind.."OH FUCK OFF!!!" stop hounding me..
But the voice in my head raised its..err..voice..en sed..GO ON KEEP LYING TO YOUR SELF..oh your good at that too. Blame this on the angels..you can blame the mess your in on the angels too..
Only one fact remains...YOUR DOOMED!!
But you dnt have to go through it all..Satan loves you..you can always just ask him to reincarnate you into a beter life.
All you have to do is end this mess and you wnt have to answer to no one!! No one!! I started thinking abt the day my mom will learn the truth of what i have done..and i came to agree that...that moment alone would kill us both.
Then i thought abt my lonely life...and agreed that iam my living life the wrong way!!
But above all...uggh.. I was so disgusted with my life..
En i wished the ground could swallow me.
In that moment i felt that suicide was the only pleasant thought on my mind...and at that moment it was all i had that thought... Drowning in the pools of my tears...my cell phone rang...but i couldn't recognise the number.
I pickked up and didn't say a word..there was this pain I'm my throat from crying that couldn't allow me to speak. Well it was just some guy that i helped out at school that had called to say thank you.
But he sed something that made me smile. Huh..
I am the sort of person that would smile ear to ear even amidist tears...given even the smallest reason to laugh.
He didn't say much but i found myself happy.
I didn't even prompt him to say much but i was....happy.
I was so happy to here an actual persons voice other than my delusions.
His voice made me feel like...am not alone in the world. Which feeling had engulfed me for hours. Well now i know that i was happy because am the kind of person that is naturally happy.
And you can only be happy because you appreciate life. Yes..i sit alone locked in..but i find my joy in my books. And reading makes me happy.
My family members dispise me because i dnt wear a veil and i date nonmoslems en i dnt go to the mosque...FUCK them!! Then my mother...she loves me more than any thing in this world..she will surely forgive me. Father saved me from the torment of angels...that's because....well....its not very often i get calls from ...strangers.
All i know is after the call i did not feel depressed any more or even think about suicide!!!

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

am abit freeked ryt now. Am lossing chunks of time.
Yesterday before going to bed i decided to do a 15minutes meditation session. I started at around 12:10am...during the session i suddenly started to panic..my heart was racing....i was doing. AC AP VM. I panicked because i started to sense negative energy...very intensely.
Then it suddenly got...suddenly felt calm...
No..actually..i felt numb!!! Empty. I countinued with the void meditation.
I was lying on the floor. So when i got to bed it was 3am.
I didn't pay much attention ..thinking that may be the time was just messed but...but when i slept ...i woke up so quickly..like id slept for very little time!! But..thinking abt it later..my time wasn't messed..i did go to bed at 3am.
Only that my meditation session didn't feel like it lasted for even 10mins long Today i woke up with pain in the areas of my hips en high bones..lyk id run up a mountain. This is getting worse...
Ithink am now getting possessed or something... Huh.. On Apr 27, 2015 5:41 AM, "devilsAdvocate Nic" <nic.dn6@... wrote:

Hail Satan!!
I want to start on aserious meditation that wil deal with the piece of shits...
Any suggestions.
I aready have a few ideas...but most of them i have already tryed them..so...anything new and powerful??? On Apr 23, 2015 8:07 PM, "devilsAdvocate Nic" <nic.dn6@... wrote:

By the way..all these attacks..
I know Satan doesn't let us go through things we can't handle...his there for us... So what doesn't kill me makes me stronger...i just stand alittle taller!!! On Apr 12, 2015 11:32 PM, "devilsAdvocate Nic" <nic.dn6@... wrote:

Warning...its a long one... I was home alone- as usual...
So i got my deck and set of runes to find out abt a few things. My runes are consecrated en i use them for devination. I was abit skeptical abt asking them because at times they rub ugly truths in my face!! You know....they give me answers that at times i dnt want to hear...
But anyway..i asked them abt a couple of few things and they were ryt..they told me a lot abt my spiritual progress. I also asked them about this trip that am supposed to make..a journey. They told me a lot of stuff abt fate..how this whole thing is out of my hands..they told me abt how home is best..and so much Bs that really upset me.
I was like hell no..i need to make this trip(truth is this would be  a great escape for me!!_one that i really need.)
I told them they were giving me so much that i couldnt add up. So i asked for a straight answer.. I have a deck of runes..and a set of ceramic rune stones..i made them both. For straight answers i consult the stones...i draw NAUTHIZ and ISA and throw them for yez or no. Just the two of them.
I got a lot of negative answers.
I was growing more and more frustrated. So i consulted the deck..asking why the trip wasn't going to be possible.
I draw three runes to represent the past present and future. But this time i decided to draw just one rune from the deck!! <SighWell i drew Raido in reverse!!
And that is as clear as it can get abt a journey or any travel plans. Raido in reverse can mean bad luck..or the travel plans will be upset..or worse!!! That was clear enough to know that there was to be no trip or there better be no trip. I got so furrious.. But then a very random thought crossed mi mind!! Out of the blue..I told my self that...
"If that trip does not happen i will die"
I wrapped up ny runes en put them away.
The shocker is how my mind started to capitalise on the "i will die" part!! Now...
i did something so terrible that i won't be able to face my parents in the near future. The trip would some how save me from facing them. Wel after the rune session i started feeling troubled..
I started praying to Satan that he helps me out...i begged him to make this escape possible...
But my mind kept telling me that the journey will NOT happen.
That made me feel like perhaps that was Satans answer.. that i should just chill and find other means. I started getting depressed. Picturing what my mom would do if she found out what i had done.
I started geting clear images of a crucifixion in my head. That's what my mother would do to me.....but then that's not worse than disowning me..or me having to watch the pain in her eyes as she sufferers from the shock of my betrayal.
I tryed to dismiss the thoughts but they just got more and more intense!!
I got so worrid abt how i was going to handle the whole situation.
Oh i felt the need of escape so desperately!!
Then one single clear thought crossed ny mind.
DEATH!!
There's no beter escape than death.
There's nothing to fear abt death afteral. I will go to hell....which is nothing like the tells of toure islam promises. Just get a knife and slit your throat.
That easy..it is the quickest way..
In less than half an hour i had made over ten different suicide strategies. I told my self that i couldn't do that to my family..not to my mom.
A voice in my head..sked me if i was kidding my self...that there's nothing that i could do that could outweigh the damage and betrayal that i had already done.
That..
Am a hypocrite
A faluire..
And a lair!!!!
That my mother can never forgive me for what i have done!! So i should deal with that.. never like NEVER in my life have i ever thought abt suicide!!
But here i was..with a vivid picture of a knife stuck in my throat imprinted on my mind.
I felt like such a loser...and i was crying and i started to have one of those terrible moments of emotional breakdown. I jumped into my bed and cryed..like i always do.
And when i was tired of crying i decided to do medition...but the foul thoughts of suicide hadnt gone away!!
The more i tryed to meditate my mind would just run back to it..
It all just rose up like bile in my throat en i was chocking on it..
The voice in my head started to get a aggressive..saying..
'Cmon..
The life your leading already sucks..
Think about it..
Your broke..
You gat no frends..
You spend the entire day locked in with a book in yr hands pretending to read this and that..
Yet you should be out doing what girls your age do...living life!!
Then your family...its not your family really..your different! Your not wanted....i mean if you can't blend into your own family then where can you blend in??
You have aleays been the black ship of the family..the only two people that stand by you__Your mother and brother..you have not only failed them..but betrayed them!!!
If you dnt comitt suicide then you will have to watch your mother die before your own eyes from the shock!! Well..That went on for hours... Suddenly i just told the voice in my mind.."OH FUCK OFF!!!" stop hounding me..
But the voice in my head raised its..err..voice..en sed..GO ON KEEP LYING TO YOUR SELF..oh your good at that too. Blame this on the angels..you can blame the mess your in on the angels too..
Only one fact remains...YOUR DOOMED!!
But you dnt have to go through it all..Satan loves you..you can always just ask him to reincarnate you into a beter life.
All you have to do is end this mess and you wnt have to answer to no one!! No one!! I started thinking abt the day my mom will learn the truth of what i have done..and i came to agree that...that moment alone would kill us both.
Then i thought abt my lonely life...and agreed that iam my living life the wrong way!!
But above all...uggh.. I was so disgusted with my life..
En i wished the ground could swallow me.
In that moment i felt that suicide was the only pleasant thought on my mind...and at that moment it was all i had that thought... Drowning in the pools of my tears...my cell phone rang...but i couldn't recognise the number.
I pickked up and didn't say a word..there was this pain I'm my throat from crying that couldn't allow me to speak. Well it was just some guy that i helped out at school that had called to say thank you.
But he sed something that made me smile. Huh..
I am the sort of person that would smile ear to ear even amidist tears...given even the smallest reason to laugh.
He didn't say much but i found myself happy.
I didn't even prompt him to say much but i was....happy.
I was so happy to here an actual persons voice other than my delusions.
His voice made me feel like...am not alone in the world. Which feeling had engulfed me for hours. Well now i know that i was happy because am the kind of person that is naturally happy.
And you can only be happy because you appreciate life. Yes..i sit alone locked in..but i find my joy in my books. And reading makes me happy.
My family members dispise me because i dnt wear a veil and i date nonmoslems en i dnt go to the mosque...FUCK them!! Then my mother...she loves me more than any thing in this world..she will surely forgive me. Father saved me from the torment of angels...that's because....well....its not very often i get calls from ...strangers.
All i know is after the call i did not feel depressed any more or even think about suicide!!!

 

[descipleofthegods13]

Rest assured that you are not getting possessed. When meditation sessions are out of whack then you will feel it physically. Even one meditation session can send your energy out of whack and it feels like you were sleeping on stones. You wake up feeling totally achy, and like you did too many reps at the gym and pulled something.

Your body will adjust in time from that. Yes, they have the foulest energy in the universe I believe, I had two attack me last night when I was doing an ALGIZ rune session to clean my room of foul energy because I am under heavy spiritual attack currently. It's like raw death, or rotting carcasses filed with bile rotting in the sun or I suspect worse. It's the foulest thing I have ever felt. I got my answer as to why I had a disgusting dream with thew worst energy I have ever felt. If you happen to sense them then you can burn them with Holy Satanic Electric Blue Fire. Or if they're too much and won't drop then use the Holy Satanic Electric Red Fire.

Listed here:Concerning psychic attacks~  
hat's not to say that you are under psychic attack at all because I suspect you aren't at all.
Why do I know this for sure? I have been possessed by these insane things. It's exactly as is described on the JoS in Sermons of Satan. They possessed me off and on frequently some time before I Dedicated and it was nasty.
You're not being possessed.

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

But that doesn't explain the missing tym..

On Wednesday, 29 April 2015, descipleofthegods13@... [JoyofSatan666] <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:
 

Rest assured that you are not getting possessed. When meditation sessions are out of whack then you will feel it physically. Even one meditation session can send your energy out of whack and it feels like you were sleeping on stones. You wake up feeling totally achy, and like you did too many reps at the gym and pulled something.

Your body will adjust in time from that. Yes, they have the foulest energy in the universe I believe, I had two attack me last night when I was doing an ALGIZ rune session to clean my room of foul energy because I am under heavy spiritual attack currently. It's like raw death, or rotting carcasses filed with bile rotting in the sun or I suspect worse. It's the foulest thing I have ever felt. I got my answer as to why I had a disgusting dream with thew worst energy I have ever felt. If you happen to sense them then you can burn them with Holy Satanic Electric Blue Fire. Or if they're too much and won't drop then use the Holy Satanic Electric Red Fire.

Listed here:Concerning psychic attacks~

<https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy ... efault.jpg
Concerning psychic attacks~
When being psychically attacked try visualizing satanic red fire around yourself, red helps against psychic attacks.
View on www.youtube.com
Preview by Yahoo

 

hat's not to say that you are under psychic attack at all because I suspect you aren't at all.

Why do I know this for sure? I have been possessed by these insane things. It's exactly as is described on the JoS in Sermons of Satan. They possessed me off and on frequently some time before I Dedicated and it was nasty.

You're not being possessed.

 

[descipleofthegods13]

I honestly don't know what to tell you about that. All I know is that you are not being possessed. Ask Father Satan about it.

 

[mancunianninja]

Thank you for writing on this topic. I was guided to this article because of some problems of my own. 
Thought I should share it so you know that Satan has guided me to read this article. 

 

[devilsAdvocate Nic]

OK....

On Saturday, 2 May 2015, descipleofthegods13@... [JoyofSatan666] <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:
 

I honestly don't know what to tell you about that. All I know is that you are not being possessed. Ask Father Satan about it.