What causes transgender?

[Head Guardian Blitzkreig]

I have been wondering this for a while.

I know that since the genitalia form before the brain, sometime the brain can form in a way that it more closely resembles the opposite sex than it does the biological sex. Is this the ONLY thing that causes transgenderism? Is this even an actual cause or something that some jew neuroscientist made up?

Over the years I have seen many explanations for Transgenderism on the forums. Some of which include, A lack of balance between masculine and feminine energies, Transgenderism being in the soul, Mental illness/Delusion, The biological reason that I mentioned.

I used to have a fiance who was transgender that I eventually brought to Zevism. In the end we broke up rather horribly but that is a story for another time. The point is, that during the time that I met them I also felt I was transgender, I was having thoughts of mutilating specific body parts and other morbid shit. Slowly as I gained more spiritual power I started to realize that this isn't what I really wanted. For me it was an issue with my masculine and feminine energies being messed up.

Can anyone provide a definite answer on this? In my opinion it doesn't make much sense that someone would have transgenderism in their soul. In order to "transition" you have to mutilate yourself and some other fucked up shit. However in the ancient world things were very different, not only did we have extremely advanced technology but If a problem like this was prevalent back then, then I think there would be a solution that didn't involve self mutilation.

TRANSgenderism is not a healthy idea and should be removed from society, along with other Hebrew nonsense. Obviously mutilation or other forms of transitioning that directly alter the physical body are harmful. This would be suicidal without extremely advanced tech, like you mention, so it obviously cannot be a natural expression.

The above idea is different from simple feelings to want to express as the opposite gender. Safe ways of doing this involve changing the hair, clothing, mannerisms... These are all fine, assuming they are coming from who the person inherently is.

However, I do NOT think that the proportion of the population currently expressing "transgenderism" is actually what they inherently feel. I think a lot of it is due to destroyed gender norms and the influence of xenoestrogens feminizing the populace.

The human mind is "masculinized" at birth. Male babies' testes will produce lots of androgens at this time to differentiate themselves from females. However, all modern babies are bathed in xenoestrogen exposure from all sorts of various pollutants around us. This exerts a certain feminizing effect that occurs in the womb, altering the face and other secondary sexual characteristics. More importantly, this also alters the brain, feminizing it more than normal.

Because the brain is feminized at birth by xenoestrogens, I am guessing that this also increases the number of people with feminine tendencies, such as wanting to appear, dress, or adopt feminine sexual behaviors. At this point, one could claim this is just who they are, and this would be fine.

The problem is when they are misled by the enemy to try to actually change their whole gender. It is in the same way that people are misled with regular plastic surgery and promised they can be super beautiful and loved by everyone: those who want to appear with characteristics of the opposite gender are promised they can BE the other gender (which is impossible).

They are led to believe this lie (since discussion is censored) and given all sorts of crazy treatments that not only alter them permanently, but still do NOT make them look like the other gender. In reality, they just look like surgical disasters.

Society has been forced by christian beliefs to not accept people like this, so in this way they do not feel comfortable dressing or acting like this in public. On the other side, the enemy tells them they have to go full blown retard with their body, to disastrous heights. So here we realize that the enemy created the problem, then sold us the broken solution.

Below is an image showing the effect of hormones on the face, given the same genetic template.

 

[Aquarius]

P.S I love your signature. They Live is one of my all time favorite movies. I don't watch movies anymore but when I did that was one I rewatched quite a lot haha.

I watched that movie quite a lot too, it's always one I can re-watch even though I know it by heart

 

[SatanicSlytherin]

Can anyone provide a definite answer on this?

In my case, transgenderism was caused by trauma and the female reproductive system being fucking horrible to deal with.

I felt like I was wholly broken due to said trauma; had divorced an abuse spouse and then broken up with somebody because he refused to get himself fixed. Over that year people treated me like shit for "daring" to have trauma, then I was harassed for another straight year until I almost committed suicide multiple times.

Thankfully I came to my senses last year, and no longer identify as the opposite gender.
I am in a much healthier mental headspace nowadays and the internal organs are in a much better state.

My theory is that on the physical side, peoples' diets screw with their hormones and their upbringing might screw with their head; too much sugar, and on the latter say... somebody was raised by xians who hated the fact that they had a girl instead of a boy, etc.

Anyhow I've noticed this too; the vast majority of transgender people (my past self included) that I've run into are absolutely batshit insane. If you "misgender" them even once, or state the SCIENTIFIC FACT that they are out of touch with reality, they'll label you as "transphobic" and try to run you off whatever community you are a part of. They overreact to everything at the drop of a hat. It's obnoxious, and I pity them for being misled by bullshit propaganda into thinking they should mutilate themselves and act like a lunatic.

 

[Artisan]

Can anyone provide a definite answer on this?

In my case, transgenderism was caused by trauma and the female reproductive system being fucking horrible to deal with.

I felt like I was wholly broken due to said trauma; had divorced an abuse spouse and then broken up with somebody because he refused to get himself fixed. Over that year people treated me like shit for "daring" to have trauma, then I was harassed for another straight year until I almost committed suicide multiple times.

Thankfully I came to my senses last year, and no longer identify as the opposite gender.
I am in a much healthier mental headspace nowadays and the internal organs are in a much better state.

My theory is that on the physical side, peoples' diets screw with their hormones and their upbringing might screw with their head; too much sugar, and on the latter say... somebody was raised by xians who hated the fact that they had a girl instead of a boy, etc.

Anyhow I've noticed this too; the vast majority of transgender people (my past self included) that I've run into are absolutely batshit insane. If you "misgender" them even once, or state the SCIENTIFIC FACT that they are out of touch with reality, they'll label you as "transphobic" and try to run you off whatever community you are a part of. They overreact to everything at the drop of a hat. It's obnoxious, and I pity them for being misled by bullshit propaganda into thinking they should mutilate themselves and act like a lunatic.

I am very glad that you have come to terms with reality and accepted the truth for what it is. In my experience, trans people are often riddled with other mental illness. In every case I have met of someone who is trans, they have a lot more going on with them than just being trans. Batshit insane as you say.

I have only met one trans person who wasn't batshit insane, they were actually a very good friend of mine before I ruined things with foolish actions. They were incredibly intelligent(Got accepted into yale half way through 9th grade) but I don't think that had anything to do with that, mental delusion doesn't subside just because someone is intelligent after all.

When I thought I was trans I was nothing like any other trans person I had met, I should have seen that as a sign that maybe I wasn't as "trans" as I thought. I didn't really get mad at misgendering because I thought "I look like x gender, why should I be mad if someone sees me as that gender? How would they know I was y gender if I look like x gender?".

I have always been someone who values objectivity over subjectivity, I suppose that having such values helped me stay grounded in reality even at a time of such mental delusion. It is very sad, I feel bad for these children running out saying they are trans and getting on hormones. In reality it's not the childs fault, it's nothing more than bad parenting.

Giving little boys testostorone blockers to preserve their femininity actually sounds a lot like something that was outlawed a long time ago.

Castrati singers – Castrated in order to keep their voices at a higher pitch.

Blocking testostorone is essentially the same thing as chemical castration when you think about it. The entire purpose in testostorone blockers is to prevent the testacles from doing what they were designed to do. It's no different from castration. Parents are literally castrating their fucking children.

 

[Artisan]

P.S I love your signature. They Live is one of my all time favorite movies. I don't watch movies anymore but when I did that was one I rewatched quite a lot haha.

I watched that movie quite a lot too, it's always one I can re-watch even though I know it by heart

Indeed so! There are very few movies which I can watch over and over, in fact I could probably count them all on two hands. This is definitely one of them though! It never gets old.

 

[Alt123]

...

Despite having talked to hundreds before in the hopes that I would find someone who understands, I couldn't find any transgender people I could relate to, so I can't tell you where it comes from in general. But I can tell you my story, using this throwaway so it doesn't interfere with conversations I have with people on my main account about other topics. It's a rather controversial topic after all.

I'll start from when I started meditating and tried to understand where my feelings come from.

A week after I dedicated, while in a trance, I tried asking my GD why I'm afraid of people thinking of me as a guy. Then, I remembered that in my previous life where the xian church was still prominent, I was treated horribly and eventually murdered before even reaching adulthood just for being gay. Remembering that made me realise just how much safer society is nowadays for gay people, and the social anxiety I struggled with since I was 7 years old this life vanished almost completely in only a few days after that.
Since then I couldn't really care less if people assume I'm a woman or a crossdresser. No matter what anyone thinks, it doesn't change anything for me. I'm free to do whatever I want, since this time no one is going to kill me just for what I look like or who I love.

Then I thought that maybe I could just think of myself a gay guy and be happy just like that. So I started thinking about what exactly it would change. Well, I've always liked having long hair, so there's no reason to cut that short. I always thought women's clothes looked way nicer, so there's no reason to start dressing like a guy either. I like how cute my voice sounds these days after all these years of practice, so there's no reason to suddenly start talking with a more masculine tone. I'm really fond of my breasts and they make it easy to get my partner in the mood and it's fun and relaxing to let him play with them, so cutting them off would just be horrible. And stopping the hormone treatment I've had for so many years and getting testosterone injections instead would just cause me to start balding which I don't want (my older brother and father have it really rough so I'm glad I was able to avoid that since I love my long hair so much), as well as causing other negative effects for me; and if I stopped the treatment without getting testosterone, I would start suffering from post-menopausal symptoms and be at risk of osteoporosis. Also, I had never managed to find sexual satisfaction so far in this life at that point no matter what I tried, but for some inexplicable reason I always intuitively felt like having female genitals would fix that, so I would still want to be a woman physically regardless if it were possible.
So really, it doesn't affect what I want in the slightest, but I still thought it was an interesting idea. So I said to my partner, "hey, do you think maybe on the inside I'm just gay guy that wants to have a female body for social and sexual reasons?", to which he replied, "no, I'm pretty sure you're a woman on the inside." And then I thought that I do like the sound of that more after all for some reason, so that didn't really get anywhere. But at least my social anxiety is completely gone now.

If I had to say where my inexplicable desire comes from, it's probably past lives. I tried remembering them a bit in the hopes that it would help me understand it better. Love and sex have always been very important to me (they're the most emphasised things in my natal chart), but I was denied any of that for who knows how many centuries because of the church's influence, as well as being killed several times. That probably caused me to snap out of sheer desperation, thinking that if I just became a woman somehow I would finally be able to find happiness because then it would be fine for me to love a guy. So I wished for that so much and so deeply across several lifetimes, perhaps to the point that it became engraved in my very Soul.
But if my memory is correct, then everything wasn't great even before the church popped up. I need a really deep connection with someone in order to feel satisfied emotionally, but even before the church came around, gay marriage wasn't really a thing. I had no interest in casual sex so the best I could aim for was to be the favorite side thing of an attractive married man. But can you imagine how jealous I was of the wives of the men I loved? Back then bisexual men were expected to get a wife and start a family eventually, and gay men were expected to just do it with any guy they could get with instead of sticking to one partner. It just wasn't for me, and although I knew it couldn't be helped, part of me started to jokingly wish that I had just been born a woman so I would be taken more seriously. Sex would be a lot more straightforward as well, right? And then I could even have children with someone I really loved. Perhaps it wasn't really a joke...

Anyway, to continue where I left off earlier, about a week after I asked my GD the question I mentioned earlier, I entered a trance again to try and figure out why I think that having sex as a woman might make it possible for me to find sexual satisfaction. After 10 minutes I wasn't really making progress and I felt my GD's presence, so I asked Her if She could maybe help me understand somehow why my sexuality is the way it is. Then She moved closer, and briefly touched me in a place I didn't even know I had, and backed away again. I was a bit startled since I had never been touched there before this life, but even though I could tell She didn't mean it in a sexual way and did it only to demonstrate, it felt good and much more sensitive and vivid than anything I ever felt physically. It felt just like physical touch, but more intense.
After looking some things up I found out that apparently people have something called an "astral body", and I asked Her why mine is not the same as my physical body, to which she replied that it's because of something I did several lifetimes ago. Then I remembered deliberately changing my sex astrally somehow and having sex with someone in that form. It took me a long time to remember why I did it, but now I think it's because I was close to dying, and I wanted the guy I liked to look my way when I was dead, so I could at least experience a meager happiness as a ghost.

After that I became really interested in astral sex, thinking it might be the only thing that could finally satisfy me. It took me a long time to figure out how to do it with my partner, but gradually we became able to communicate with each other telepathically if we try, and since then we can also see and interact with each other's bodies astrally, so now it's very simple.
However, beyond just satisfaction, the pleasure is so much that my mind can barely even handle it, without even any physical stimulation, even though it feels just like physical touch. It's just incredible. Maybe astral sex is always that amazing; but if someone who doesn't believe in spirituality heard about the amount, intensity and duration of the orgasms I can have in just 15 minutes, they might consider it a superpower.

I used to want to have surgery to change my genitals because it was my only hope at ever finding sexual satisfaction. Now that I've already found it, that's not really a reason to do it anymore, and I was happy with just that for some time.
And yet no matter how I tried to supress and nip it in the bud with logic, an uncontrollable desire for my physical body to be like this as well just keeps welling up inside me and growing stronger and stronger. No matter how I try to twist it, I want to be a woman, in every way.

Surgery won't do that for me. And yet after I recover and it heals, it'll have a shape that looks mostly right. I'll be able to look down and see it, physically. I can touch it and feel it, physically. My partner can touch it and I'll feel it, physically. Isn't that a wonderful thing?!
It's just an illusion, and yet it exists physically. That's further than I've ever gotten before physically with just my own efforts. I've longed for it for so long that I'll be this overjoyed even with a partial result like this...
I've looked into it in a lot of detail, so I know the recovery will be very painful, and obviously it won't make me able to bear my partner's children or anything like I want, so it's irrational to want it. But I just can't help it anymore. At this point, I just want something. I want to see it in the real, physical world. Otherwise, I'll start to feel like I'm losing my mind.
If it's between waiting 20 years for a future where either there's better methods available (whether through spiritual or technological advancement) or this kind of thing is banned due to Zevists getting in power, or doing something reckless and getting partial results now, then I'd rather just get the partial results right away for the time being and see if I can still improve the result with spiritual means somehow afterwards.

It's because of the medical treatment I received and my other efforts that I look so pretty now. It's because of the way I look and sound now that my partner looked at me. That he's looked only at me for almost 5 years now and fell so deeply in love with me. That he's even willing to go as far as to marry me...
The way that makes me feel makes me wonder if perhaps when people heal, they don't always end up the same way they started off. Maybe that sounds like an insane way to think. But the happiness I feel now is already greater than I've felt in a thousand years, just with this. That's why I don't ever want to go back anymore.

I'm well aware that I probably sound like someone who is severely damaged and broken. I'm a very logical person and I've thought about this topic for more than 5000 hours in just this life alone because I just couldn't make sense of my feelings, so by now it's obvious to me that my feelings are irrational; and yet, acting on these irrational feelings has given me such great happiness. It's really incomprehensible to me.
I hope that by sharing my story, I was at least able to explain how I got into a situation like this, and with that, hopefully provide some unusual insight into the topic.

Perhaps over time in this path I can bring my wish into reality completely, instead of having to settle for partial results. But even if I can't, I'm able to accept that. Even so, I'm sure going to try. If it's impossible, then I'll just make it possible, one way or another, no matter what anyone thinks of it, even I.

 

[Artisan]

...

Despite having talked to hundreds before in the hopes that I would find someone who understands, I couldn't find any transgender people I could relate to, so I can't tell you where it comes from in general. But I can tell you my story, using this throwaway so it doesn't interfere with conversations I have with people on my main account about other topics. It's a rather controversial topic after all.

I'll start from when I started meditating and tried to understand where my feelings come from.

A week after I dedicated, while in a trance, I tried asking my GD why I'm afraid of people thinking of me as a guy. Then, I remembered that in my previous life where the xian church was still prominent, I was treated horribly and eventually murdered before even reaching adulthood just for being gay. Remembering that made me realise just how much safer society is nowadays for gay people, and the social anxiety I struggled with since I was 7 years old this life vanished almost completely in only a few days after that.
Since then I couldn't really care less if people assume I'm a woman or a crossdresser. No matter what anyone thinks, it doesn't change anything for me. I'm free to do whatever I want, since this time no one is going to kill me just for what I look like or who I love.

Then I thought that maybe I could just think of myself a gay guy and be happy just like that. So I started thinking about what exactly it would change. Well, I've always liked having long hair, so there's no reason to cut that short. I always thought women's clothes looked way nicer, so there's no reason to start dressing like a guy either. I like how cute my voice sounds these days after all these years of practice, so there's no reason to suddenly start talking with a more masculine tone. I'm really fond of my breasts and they make it easy to get my partner in the mood and it's fun and relaxing to let him play with them, so cutting them off would just be horrible. And stopping the hormone treatment I've had for so many years and getting testosterone injections instead would just cause me to start balding which I don't want (my older brother and father have it really rough so I'm glad I was able to avoid that since I love my long hair so much), as well as causing other negative effects for me; and if I stopped the treatment without getting testosterone, I would start suffering from post-menopausal symptoms and be at risk of osteoporosis. Also, I had never managed to find sexual satisfaction so far in this life at that point no matter what I tried, but for some inexplicable reason I always intuitively felt like having female genitals would fix that, so I would still want to be a woman physically regardless if it were possible.
So really, it doesn't affect what I want in the slightest, but I still thought it was an interesting idea. So I said to my partner, "hey, do you think maybe on the inside I'm just gay guy that wants to have a female body for social and sexual reasons?", to which he replied, "no, I'm pretty sure you're a woman on the inside." And then I thought that I do like the sound of that more after all for some reason, so that didn't really get anywhere. But at least my social anxiety is completely gone now.

If I had to say where my inexplicable desire comes from, it's probably past lives. I tried remembering them a bit in the hopes that it would help me understand it better. Love and sex have always been very important to me (they're the most emphasised things in my natal chart), but I was denied any of that for who knows how many centuries because of the church's influence, as well as being killed several times. That probably caused me to snap out of sheer desperation, thinking that if I just became a woman somehow I would finally be able to find happiness because then it would be fine for me to love a guy. So I wished for that so much and so deeply across several lifetimes, perhaps to the point that it became engraved in my very Soul.
But if my memory is correct, then everything wasn't great even before the church popped up. I need a really deep connection with someone in order to feel satisfied emotionally, but even before the church came around, gay marriage wasn't really a thing. I had no interest in casual sex so the best I could aim for was to be the favorite side thing of an attractive married man. But can you imagine how jealous I was of the wives of the men I loved? Back then bisexual men were expected to get a wife and start a family eventually, and gay men were expected to just do it with any guy they could get with instead of sticking to one partner. It just wasn't for me, and although I knew it couldn't be helped, part of me started to jokingly wish that I had just been born a woman so I would be taken more seriously. Sex would be a lot more straightforward as well, right? And then I could even have children with someone I really loved. Perhaps it wasn't really a joke...

Anyway, to continue where I left off earlier, about a week after I asked my GD the question I mentioned earlier, I entered a trance again to try and figure out why I think that having sex as a woman might make it possible for me to find sexual satisfaction. After 10 minutes I wasn't really making progress and I felt my GD's presence, so I asked Her if She could maybe help me understand somehow why my sexuality is the way it is. Then She moved closer, and briefly touched me in a place I didn't even know I had, and backed away again. I was a bit startled since I had never been touched there before this life, but even though I could tell She didn't mean it in a sexual way and did it only to demonstrate, it felt good and much more sensitive and vivid than anything I ever felt physically. It felt just like physical touch, but more intense.
After looking some things up I found out that apparently people have something called an "astral body", and I asked Her why mine is not the same as my physical body, to which she replied that it's because of something I did several lifetimes ago. Then I remembered deliberately changing my sex astrally somehow and having sex with someone in that form. It took me a long time to remember why I did it, but now I think it's because I was close to dying, and I wanted the guy I liked to look my way when I was dead, so I could at least experience a meager happiness as a ghost.

After that I became really interested in astral sex, thinking it might be the only thing that could finally satisfy me. It took me a long time to figure out how to do it with my partner, but gradually we became able to communicate with each other telepathically if we try, and since then we can also see and interact with each other's bodies astrally, so now it's very simple.
However, beyond just satisfaction, the pleasure is so much that my mind can barely even handle it, without even any physical stimulation, even though it feels just like physical touch. It's just incredible. Maybe astral sex is always that amazing; but if someone who doesn't believe in spirituality heard about the amount, intensity and duration of the orgasms I can have in just 15 minutes, they might consider it a superpower.

I used to want to have surgery to change my genitals because it was my only hope at ever finding sexual satisfaction. Now that I've already found it, that's not really a reason to do it anymore, and I was happy with just that for some time.
And yet no matter how I tried to supress and nip it in the bud with logic, an uncontrollable desire for my physical body to be like this as well just keeps welling up inside me and growing stronger and stronger. No matter how I try to twist it, I want to be a woman, in every way.

Surgery won't do that for me. And yet after I recover and it heals, it'll have a shape that looks mostly right. I'll be able to look down and see it, physically. I can touch it and feel it, physically. My partner can touch it and I'll feel it, physically. Isn't that a wonderful thing?!
It's just an illusion, and yet it exists physically. That's further than I've ever gotten before physically with just my own efforts. I've longed for it for so long that I'll be this overjoyed even with a partial result like this...
I've looked into it in a lot of detail, so I know the recovery will be very painful, and obviously it won't make me able to bear my partner's children or anything like I want, so it's irrational to want it. But I just can't help it anymore. At this point, I just want something. I want to see it in the real, physical world. Otherwise, I'll start to feel like I'm losing my mind.
If it's between waiting 20 years for a future where either there's better methods available (whether through spiritual or technological advancement) or this kind of thing is banned due to Zevists getting in power, or doing something reckless and getting partial results now, then I'd rather just get the partial results right away for the time being and see if I can still improve the result with spiritual means somehow afterwards.

It's because of the medical treatment I received and my other efforts that I look so pretty now. It's because of the way I look and sound now that my partner looked at me. That he's looked only at me for almost 5 years now and fell so deeply in love with me. That he's even willing to go as far as to marry me...
The way that makes me feel makes me wonder if perhaps when people heal, they don't always end up the same way they started off. Maybe that sounds like an insane way to think. But the happiness I feel now is already greater than I've felt in a thousand years, just with this. That's why I don't ever want to go back anymore.

I'm well aware that I probably sound like someone who is severely damaged and broken. I'm a very logical person and I've thought about this topic for more than 5000 hours in just this life alone because I just couldn't make sense of my feelings, so by now it's obvious to me that my feelings are irrational; and yet, acting on these irrational feelings has given me such great happiness. It's really incomprehensible to me.
I hope that by sharing my story, I was at least able to explain how I got into a situation like this, and with that, hopefully provide some unusual insight into the topic.

Perhaps over time in this path I can bring my wish into reality completely, instead of having to settle for partial results. But even if I can't, I'm able to accept that. Even so, I'm sure going to try. If it's impossible, then I'll just make it possible, one way or another, no matter what anyone thinks of it, even I.

I want to say four things in responds to this.

1. Thank you for sharing this, you are very brave to do this, I understand you have shared used a throw-away but it still does not take away the meaning behind this, I believe I know who your other account is, however, I have no plans to mention it. If you are who I think you are, then you are already someone I deeply respect, one of the few Zevism on this forum who I feel honored to converse with, you likely know not who I am as this is one of my many accounts since joining Zevism many years ago, but if I am right in my assumption then I appreciate you

2. As you know, transformation on the astral is very possible, a classic example of this is skin walkers and individuals who have a weakened psyche due to drug abuse. Anyways, I will say that I myself have experienced astral sex and it is truly amazing, I have shown female partners how to create a penis in the astral and they have fucked me with it, it is truly, my Gods, it is breath-taking. They are also shocked by the feeling of having male genitalia and I am not going to lie, having them cum inside me was the best thing I've EVER felt haha. So much better than fucking them astrally, my gods(I am male if that is not clear). The reason I bring this up is because I want to remind you that the astral is not "fixed" like the physical, and with enough power, the physical is no longer fixed, all physical things are made from the 00.0035% of the EMS that we can perceive and all "spiritual" things are made up of the 99.9965%. Do not tie yourself into being male or female just because your astral body is of one sex, you have changed the sex of your soul as you have mentioned in the past.

3. Regarding surgery or other broken options the yehuborim pedal upon us. As I stated, there is the 00.0035% of the EMS(Electro-Magnetic-Spectrum) which we can see with the cones and rods within our eyes. However, there is the entire 99.9965% of it which is always present. If someone is born without the ability to see, hear, smell, and touch, then to them, reality would not exist around them. Humanity has been so degraded and destroyed from the curses of the enemy, even some Zevism don't understand that the chakras, the soul, all of the spiritual and physical are ever present, if you harm yourself physically it will also show signs of harm spiritually, if you harm yourself spiritually then it will also harm your physically. There has to be balance between the Mind, Body, and Soul. And many people here obtain balance from the soul but neglect the body and the mind. It is useless if you prioritize any of the three, there must balance. I would say, taking this information into account, it would be much better for you to focus on being able to wait until the Gods have returned in 20 or so years, that way, with advanced technology, you very well may be able to be a woman biologically, OR SHIT, you may be able to become a woman biologically once you obtain Godhead, so work towards that. If you get surgery(which I know you said you weren't interested in) or you use some other half ass broken option, then you risk harming yourself not only physically but spiritually as well, when someones genitalia are removed through surgery it REALLY fucks up the lower chakras and causes all kinds of imbalanced. The soul cannot advance without a physical body, this is true for more than just one reason.

4. I would like to end this by saying, whatever you choose to do, you are the only one who will have to live with the consequences of your actions, whether those consequences be good, or whether those consequences be bad, it will entirely depend upon you, whatever you decide to do is not reliant upon anyone else, do not look to anyone but yourself for doing anything. An exercise which I give to people to help them understand if a desire comes from internally or externally is as follows. Imagine yourself in a world with nobody in it, there are no people, no animals, nothing, the only thing on this world is you. you cannot hear the gods, you are completely alone. All of the same laws of physics, science, the spiritual, all of these things are still the same, it is basically a universe where only you exist, you exist in your current dwelling. What would you do? If there is nobody else in the world, nobody to impress, nobody to show off to, nobody but yourself, what would you do? I also add the stipulation that there will always be food and water available without hunting or foraging, basically your current situation BUT, there is nobody in existence except for you. You must be brutally honest with yourself, close your eyes and envision such a scenario. I for one would continue to advance spiritually, I would continue to exercise, continue to eat healthily, continue to do everything I do every day, the reason for that is because I want to become great, even if there is nobody around me, even if there is no humans, no animals, no Gods, I would continue to evolve and improve for the sake of myself. If your answer is any different than mine, then I suggest you to find the reason you are dependent on others and work to make yourself the center of your existence instead of merely another person.

With all of the above, thank you for sharing this post, I read it all, word for word, I did not skim or skip over it, there are many things you revealed about yourself which are very sensitive and you are brave and strong for doing so. Please do not take any of my words as rude as an attack, I merely wish to share my perspective on what I think you should do, I have learned a lot more since creating this post, even if it has only been two months. Whatever you decide to do, know that you are the only one responsible for the consequences, good or bad. I do hope that your endeavors about become who you feel you are on the inside are realized

 

[Alt123]

I want to say four things in responds to this.

1. Thank you for sharing this, you are very brave to do this, I understand you have shared used a throw-away but it still does not take away the meaning behind this, I believe I know who your other account is, however, I have no plans to mention it. If you are who I think you are, then you are already someone I deeply respect, one of the few Zevism on this forum who I feel honored to converse with, you likely know not who I am as this is one of my many accounts since joining Zevism many years ago, but if I am right in my assumption then I appreciate you

I am pretty sure that you have me mixed up with someone else, as I'm relatively new here and don't have a reputation that warrants saying it's an honour to converse with me. I'm pretty sure I know who you're thinking of, though. I looked up other threads about this topic and that person often posted in them.

Thank you for responding with such a kind attitude, though. I'd happily ride on the respect you hold for that person, although I think that would be a bit rude of me, so I felt the need to clear it up.

Do not tie yourself into being male or female just because your astral body is of one sex, you have changed the sex of your soul as you have mentioned in the past.

I changed my sex astrally back then because I thought it would make me happier; and at the time, it did. I was happier as a ghost in that form than I had been for many lifetimes. Although I think seeking happiness in death is a bit pathetic... I'm glad to be alive again now because there's so much more I can do.

However, whatever exactly I did back then affected my self-image on a much deeper level than just a temporary transformation.
When I was 4 years old this life, I didn't understand why people kept saying I was a boy. It didn't make any sense to me, and even when I decided to just believe others because they insisted, it still didn't feel right to me.

A voice in my head told me back then that it's possible for me to become like a girl, and if that's what I really want, then I should tell an adult. But I was too timid, so instead of asking for it directly, I told my dad that I heard that kind of thing is possible, and asked him what he thinks of it. He told me about the concept of medical transition and it sounded absolutely terrifying.
So afterwards I chickened out and said I just wanted to have some girly toys like barbies like my friends had as well as long hair. My parents got me some nice toys but only allowed me to have medium length hair, but I still liked how I looked with just that so it was all fine.

For a few years I was convinced that it didn't matter if I was a boy or a girl because I could just be myself and do what I wanted either way. But then things started going downhill. I couldn't get along with boys well and the girls started fighting over me even though I just wanted to be friends with them. It was awful and in the end I was really lonely.
So when I was 7 years old I decided to try just acting like normal boy so I could fit in more and make friends. But instead of appearing normal, I became like a robot and became even more detached from everyone and started to struggle with social anxiety and depression despite still being so young. Gradually I became detached not just from others, but my own feelings as well.

When my body started changing during puberty it started to become unbearable. I wanted to become pretty like the other girls and grow breasts. But instead, my voice and face were becoming less cute, due to puberty.
I tried to convince myself with logic that it made no sense for me to feel that way. But after crying myself to sleep every night for two years, I realised that feelings don't care about logic. I realised that if I wanted to be happy, then I had to change something, somehow.

All of this happened long before I had the knowledge or wisdom to understand what caused any of it. I didn't understand why I wanted any of these things, or why it made me so happy when I started looking more feminine.
But now that I remember more of my past lives, I understand it. I understand why I wanted to be a woman. And my feelings haven't changed.

It may have been the confusion caused by me changing my self-image (and astral form) on such a deep level back then that caused me to resort to desperate measures without understanding a thing. But the reason I changed it in the first place back then is because I wanted to be a woman in any way I could, because I believed I would be happier that way.

I'm just so much more compatible emotionally with guys in relationships, and romantic relationships are extremely important to me in order for me to be happy and fulfilled (this is the most emphasised thing in my chart, but I knew it already before I learned about astrology). And so is having a loving family and caring for and nurturing others. When it comes down to it, I don't just want to be a woman, I want to be a mother. That's just not possible if I'm a man, is it?
I'll always be myself, and I don't believe a person's personality determines their sex. But for me to be the happiest I can be, I need to be a woman. Not in some kind of vague metaphorical or circumstantial way, but physically. Aside from that, I can be however I want to be. Because I'll still be myself no matter what, no matter if I'm a man or a woman.

Regarding surgery or other broken options the yehuborim pedal upon us. As I stated, there is the 00.0035% of the EMS(Electro-Magnetic-Spectrum) which we can see with the cones and rods within our eyes. However, there is the entire 99.9965% of it which is always present. If someone is born without the ability to see, hear, smell, and touch, then to them, reality would not exist around them. Humanity has been so degraded and destroyed from the curses of the enemy, even some Zevism don't understand that the chakras, the soul, all of the spiritual and physical are ever present, if you harm yourself physically it will also show signs of harm spiritually, if you harm yourself spiritually then it will also harm your physically. There has to be balance between the Mind, Body, and Soul. And many people here obtain balance from the soul but neglect the body and the mind. It is useless if you prioritize any of the three, there must balance. I would say, taking this information into account, it would be much better for you to focus on being able to wait until the Gods have returned in 20 or so years, that way, with advanced technology, you very well may be able to be a woman biologically, OR SHIT, you may be able to become a woman biologically once you obtain Godhead, so work towards that. If you get surgery(which I know you said you weren't interested in) or you use some other half ass broken option, then you risk harming yourself not only physically but spiritually as well, when someones genitalia are removed through surgery it REALLY fucks up the lower chakras and causes all kinds of imbalanced. The soul cannot advance without a physical body, this is true for more than just one reason.

As far as I know, the story of how it fucks up the lower chakras is based on a single anecdote. Whether it applies to all individuals is therefore speculation. Everyone speculates and speculates so much about where it comes from or what happens if you do this or that, or how it ties into destiny or whatever. But does anyone actually know a thing?

Honestly, I think that's what causes this topic to be so controversial: "transgender" is too broad of a label to actually describe one specific group of people. The individual differences are so vast that any opinion you form about transsexuals as a whole will only apply to some. Every opinion I've heard from anyone is full of holes, but so are the counterarguments to those opinions. I talked to many people, who were either in favour or against transsexuality, because I wanted to see different perspectives so that I could see the bigger picture. But the more information I acquired, the more contradictions there were in my mind, and in the end, a few days ago, I realised that the question is wrong in the first place. To ask where it comes from, if it is right or wrong, or what such people should ideally do, makes no sense because it's different for each individual.

Even after thinking about it for so long I can't figure out how I'm possibly supposed to fit in such a contradictory box. But now I finally realise that I don't have to anyway. What others do with their bodies or what they believe has nothing to do with me. This is my life, and I've always done what I thought was best and will make me the happiest. It has worked for me so far, so that is what I will continue to do.

This may sound somewhat incomprehensible to someone who hasn't experienced it, but I believe the mismatch between my bodies has actually been holding me back spiritually, like vibrations on different levels are working against each other. As such, I don't consider it impossible that the surgery would actually have a positive effect on my spiritual health as long as I take the recovery from it very seriously, both physically and spiritually. It may be a bit jarring at first, but after it heals, the shape will be mostly right.
But that's as much speculation as what anyone else could say, and even if it did have a positive effect, I think I should maybe keep that information to myself so I don't accidentally encourage someone reading it to do it without thinking it through as much as I did and being as prepared for it as I am.

I could suffer for 20 years feeling like my physical body is wrong and being extremely restrained in physical sex, and then maybe there will be some kind of salvation. Or I can just do what's possible now and feel more comfortable in my body and more free sexually for 18 years until then, and then maybe still improve things with whatever may come at that time, if anything.
I don't think I should hold back in life in the hopes that some kind of amazing opportunity will just come at me in the future. I don't believe in that. I believe in making the best of any given situation using whatever methods are available to me. I'd say I'm sorry if my desperation and impatience disappoints you, but it's not like you know me anyway, and I don't believe I'm wrong anyway so it would be insincere, so I won't apologise. All I can really apologise for is maybe making you feel uncomfortable thinking about what I'm resorting to.

I would like to end this by saying, whatever you choose to do, you are the only one who will have to live with the consequences of your actions, whether those consequences be good, or whether those consequences be bad, it will entirely depend upon you, whatever you decide to do is not reliant upon anyone else, do not look to anyone but yourself for doing anything.

Perhaps it's already clear by now, but I'm well aware of this. All of what I do is my choice, and my choice alone; and I get to suffer and enjoy the consequences. I'm completely prepared for that.

An exercise which I give to people to help them understand if a desire comes from internally or externally is as follows. Imagine yourself in a world with nobody in it, there are no people, no animals, nothing, the only thing on this world is you. you cannot hear the gods, you are completely alone. All of the same laws of physics, science, the spiritual, all of these things are still the same, it is basically a universe where only you exist, you exist in your current dwelling. What would you do? If there is nobody else in the world, nobody to impress, nobody to show off to, nobody but yourself, what would you do? I also add the stipulation that there will always be food and water available without hunting or foraging, basically your current situation BUT, there is nobody in existence except for you. You must be brutally honest with yourself, close your eyes and envision such a scenario. I for one would continue to advance spiritually, I would continue to exercise, continue to eat healthily, continue to do everything I do every day, the reason for that is because I want to become great, even if there is nobody around me, even if there is no humans, no animals, no Gods, I would continue to evolve and improve for the sake of myself. If your answer is any different than mine, then I suggest you to find the reason you are dependent on others and work to make yourself the center of your existence instead of merely another person.

As I mentioned already, love is incredibly important to me, and nurturing those I love and helping them grow is what I feel the most strongly to be my purpose in life. I think in a world where I was all alone, I would be utterly unfulfilled.
Therefore, I would attempt to research how to create people. The blueprint is in my genetics after all; it should be possible.
Perhaps if I tried hard enough, I could create a family for myself, and spend my days growing and advancing together with them.
For me to be surrounded by the people I care about is my most important need. Everything else can come later.

Perhaps this is not what you would consider the right answer. But it is the only right answer for me.

With all of the above, thank you for sharing this post, I read it all, word for word, I did not skim or skip over it, there are many things you revealed about yourself which are very sensitive and you are brave and strong for doing so. Please do not take any of my words as rude as an attack, I merely wish to share my perspective on what I think you should do, I have learned a lot more since creating this post, even if it has only been two months. Whatever you decide to do, know that you are the only one responsible for the consequences, good or bad. I do hope that your endeavors about become who you feel you are on the inside are realized

Thank you for reading it all. I did not take any offence to what you said. Thank you for writing such a detailed reply.

My methods may not always be the most conventional or "sane", but in my experience things tend to work out somehow in the end, even when I act recklessly. Whether this is due to the Gods blessing me or my own versatility, I don't know. But if it's thanks to Their blessings, then I hope They continue to support me even as I break and fix things in an attempt to move closer towards my ideals.

I believe that in time, through my efforts, one way or another, I will fulfil my wish. And I look forward to it.

 

[Alt123]

I want to go into more detail about the topic of surgery, since I doubt what I wrote earlier would be enough to satisfy you. This probably won't either, but honestly, I just want to get it all of my chest, regardless of whether or not you understand where I'm coming from.

Shortly after I dedicated, I asked my Guardian Demoness what the consequences would be if I had that surgery. She replied that it would take an immense amount of effort and endurance to recover from it. At times I might even lose hope because of how painful it is and because the results won't be the way I want right away.
However, if it is my will to do it no matter what, then eventually I would be fine, and even happy with the results.

After hearing that, I started to worry if She was disappointed with me for wanting to do something like that despite how hard it would be on me. I asked Her if it was wrong of me to want to do it, but I didn't hear a reply. I started crying a lot. But then She comforted me by hugging me, and I felt a bit better again.

Since then I tried asking a few other Gods that I happened to communicate with what They thought I should do, but I never heard or felt an answer to that question, even though I understood the answers to questions I asked about other topics just fine. I wanted someone I looked up to to tell me that it was the right for me to do, but I never heard anything.
Since I didn't get any answers on this, I started wondering if maybe the Gods are secretly disgusted with me for wanting to change my sex and letting my feelings lead me to potentially reckless decisions.
I started to feel lost and alone, but then I felt Satan's presence, and suddenly I understood something.
He told me that when making an such an important personal decision, I should not ask someone I look up to decide for me. I always need to do what I believe is best, and never do something I'm strongly against just because someone tells me to.

I realised that He was right, and decided to think about it more so I could make up my mind on my own. Since then, my doubts have gradually left my mind.

As for surgery being an overly materialistic and incomplete approach, in the first place I do not intend to leave it at surgery. For safety and privacy reasons I won't go into detail into exactly what I've done so far or what I have planned. Even so, I wanted to make it clear that I've been taking preparing for this, and doing what I can to make sure things end up well, extremely seriously in ways you could probably not imagine.

In the end, anyone's opinion on the topic is full of expectations of how things might go. But based on the information I've collected over the years, what I've learned is that how this kind of thing goes varies drastically in the first place; both the results and how the individual reacts to it. What would happen under my specific circumstances, let alone when magick is involved, is anyone's guess.
In the end you can only say if it was good or bad for a specific individual in hindsight; theory has its purpose, as well as its shortcomings.
Similarly, I won't truly know what will happen until I try. That's why I decided to just do what I want, do what I can, and do what I believe in. If I do everything I can to prepare for it as much as possible, and do it with open expectations, then I believe it will end up fine.

Considering how controversial what I just said undoubtedly is, I'm glad to be on a throwaway account. I think I would never hear the end of it if I said it on my main. I want to talk to people about other topics too, so it would just get in the way.

Even so, it was nice to get it all of my chest. I've been thinking about this for so many years, but I never really got to talk about it much. Sometimes it's nice to just let it all out, regardless of whether people respond positively or negatively. At this point I don't mind either way; just knowing that a stranger out there read what I had to say makes me feel relieved already, because then I'm no longer carrying it all on my own. So, if you did read all of it, then thank you very much.

 

[SouthernWhiteGentile]

Honestly, I think that's what causes this topic to be so controversial: "transgender" is too broad of a label to actually describe one specific group of people.

No it isn’t. A transgender is specifically someone who has underwent gender reassignment surgery/receives hormone therapy. Just because you or someone else has a different idea and wants to include different groups of people doesn’t change the definition. A crossdresser or someone similar is not transgender.

 

[Alt123]

Also, of course I would respond respectfully, I hold the believe that as long as someone else is a human being(and not a jew or race traitor), regardless if they have opinions or thoughts I disagree with I will happily sit down with them and have a conversation, from one creation of Satan to another creation of Satan. This is true with my general humans especially true with my brothers and sisters. I would never let my emotion influence my conversation, all I ask is the same respect in return, if someone can't give it back then they aren't worth conversing with. Treat others how you wish to be treated and treat others how they treat others.

Although you say "of course", I think there can be value in exploding with emotions as well sometimes. If nothing else, it can get a person's feelings across, and for me it doesn't really make a difference since I'll understand the person's point and feelings either way, regardless of how crudely or refinedly they word it. But I definitely feel the same way as you in the regard that I hold an intrinsic respect for anyone else following this path, especially those who seem to take it seriously, and to a lesser extent other human beings in general.

This was not me trying to make an argument of whether you are male or female, I was just making sure you understood the fact that you have changed your sex in the astral before, as such you could do it again if you wanted, it is not a permanent thing, the astral allows for shape shifting, your astral body is not a good reason to say whether you are male or female, that was the point I was trying to make, as far as I know your astral body is an energy double of your consciousness, however your soul is something different, considering that a persons sex are tied into the soul and can be seen within the natal chart, what you likely did was change your mind instead of changing your soul, since your astral body is just an energy double of your consciousness.

I'm well aware of how it works, sorry for not being clearer about my point. What I changed back then is something along the lines of my self-image, as well as how I appear to people who connect to my mind.
My point was that at the time my confusion led me to try and change my physical appearance in this life, I didn't remember yet that I could change my sex back mentally/astrally. But by the time I realised, I also began to remember why I did it. It was never my intention to leave it at just a mental/astral transformation. From the start, my intention was to become a woman, but I thought I would not be more than a ghost anymore after I died (I was starving, and I did not know about reincarnation at the time), so that was what I focused on. Now that I have a physical body again, and remember my full intentions, I know how I wish to proceed.

As for whether I am male or female, who cares? I know what I want to be in the future, but anyone is free to form their own opinion about my current state based on whatever reasoning they like. Rather than pondering what category I might fall into right now, I'd rather just work towards a future where it's not so ambiguous anymore.

You are playing a very dangerous game with your soul and your life. Saying "maybe" and "what if" are just words which imply accepting ignorance. You should NEVER accept ignorance, nor should you let your hope blind you. You need to accept reality for what it is, someone could sit her and explain to you the functions of the soul and how everything is connected, for instance, I explained the information with the EMS which is not based on a "single anecdote" but is based upon years of studying various different topics, not just information from ToZ, not just scientific information, not just information on astronomy(dark matter in the case of the EMS), not just optometry information, but my entire lifetime of studying scientific things. Hell, you don't know me and have no reason to trust anything I say, but I am pretty sure that regardless of what anyone says you have made up your mind on what you're going to do.

In the end, you are the only one who will have to suffer the consequences of your actions, good, or bad, I am not here to tell you if you should do anything or not, the only person who can make the choice is you, I could influence you one way or another but in the end the only person who will make the decision is you, based on your free will, I cannot change that.

What I will tell you not to do is let "maybe" and "what if" this take control of your life, the unknown is something that should be conquered by every Zevism. If you are truly an Zevism then you should never make a decision based on "hope" or based on ignorance. Sure it might turn out well for you but it might turn out bad for you. When you make a life changing decision based on an unknown you are gambling with your life. Meditate, advance, and seek guidance from the Gods. If there is anyone's knowledge you will trust then I would hope it is the knowledge of the Gods.

Despite wording my opinions as if I don't know a thing, I often see the consequences of my actions beforehand, as I tend to think things through very much and also have a very sharp intuition mixed with a bit of psychic ability. I do not take forming opinions lightly: I always believe that which I consider to be the most plausible based on my logic, relevant experiences or things I've perceived in any reliable way, as well as my intuition. That also goes for all the opinions I have shared so far. I do not believe anything without any reasoning to back up.

You may call me pedantic if you want, but the reason I express so much doubt and uncertainty in my beliefs is not because I particularly doubt them, but rather because it bothers me that I don't know them with "absolute certainty". I'm the kind of person that doesn't feel right saying I'm certain about something until I see it with my own eyes, no matter how much prior knowledge I have. I always believe there could still be something that I'm missing or overlooking, or that there could be a flaw in my logic, until I ascertain it with my own eyes.

Normally I don't mind it too much because the conclusions I reach tend to be very accurate anyway, and even if there's a few inaccuracies, it's usually doesn't matter that much. But can you imagine how terrifying it is for me to not have absolute certainty about something like this? It actually really bothers me, even if I try to act tough.

You said you were worried about an imbalance in your soul, or that you think(another unknown) instead of what you know. Well then, what have you done to remedy this solution? Have you done any runic workings? Have you been doing any grounding and balancing activities(Hatha Yoga, SaTaNaMa, etc.)? Have you done anything Besides thinking of making life altering decisions based off hope and what if and the unknown? NEVER made life altering decision based off ignorance

I did manage to remedy it partially in a way which is sustainable for now, but I cannot be specific because I don't think it's safe to talk about the details of workings. I don't think it's safe to talk about the details of personal energetic problems either. I'm sorry for not being able to say much about this, although perhaps this paragraph was more about advising me than looking for insight into my reasoning anyway, so it's probably fine.

I am unlike the "anyone" you mentioned. I am not someone who ever makes a decision or ever acts without understanding the scope of my actions, at least if I don't if I can help it(there are some things out of my control after all, time and advancement will fix that). You said that you have spoken to your guardian and spoken to other Gods and received their responses, as such I would assume you have a decent level of telepathy. I would encourage you to ask the following questions and then rethink your decision based on them.

1. Is my astral body being different from my physical body halting my advancement or is it something else?(You told me you think it is halting your advancement, what you think and what you know are two different things. Instead of thinking. start knowing)
2. If something else, what is halting my advancement?(This way you can find the cause of your "feeling" of your advancement, it may be a self-limiting mindset, an untrained mind ruins all workings and advancement after all)
3. What is the objectively best way to overcome what it halting my advancement?(This way you will be given steps on how to fix whatever is halting your advancement)

4. Would it be possible to become a woman spiritually, mentally, and physically when the Gods return?(This way you KNOW for sure instead of holding "back in life in the hopes that some kind of amazing opportunity will just come at me in the future." and can stop making your future plans based on ignorance)
5. If it is possible, Would it be possible to stop this intense feeling of dysphoria so that I could wait for the Gods return?(This way, you can find out if your dysphoria is something that could be stopped until you were able to become a woman.)

6. What is the root cause of my discomfort of being male?(This way you know 100% what the root of the feeling is)
7. What is the objectively best remedy to that root cause?(This way you know the BEST remedy for it)
8. What is the objectively best way to achieve said remedy?(This way you know how to GAIN said remedy)

There are a lot of statements you have made which are based on an incorrect notion of living. You live your life while accepting ignorance, you accept the thinks that you think and feel and don't strive to know. This is a very limiting and very bad mindset to hold. Look at everything within your responses to me and tell me that a large portion of them are not made on ignorance, or made on accepting ignorance. You should NEVER accept ignorance but instead ALWAYS strive to gain knowledge. Being ignorant of things is very dangerous, if you make a decision without understanding what you are doing then you very well risk harming yourself.

At first when I read this I felt a bit offended. I felt like I've already done so much to try and understand things the best I can. How am I supposed to ascertain any of this when no one else here on Earth really knows either?
As I thought that, I realised you were exactly right. I had already given up on knowing, just because it was so difficult...

I wasn't sure if I should bother my GD to ask all these questions. I figured that even if I heard replies, how could I truly be certain that I understood the answers correctly? Regardless of what I heard, would it even change anything? I felt rather cynical about it.

Even so, I really wanted to try, and decided to ask if She had time, and when I felt and heard Her in my mind, I ended up asking all of those questions, as well as so many others that my third eye started to ache from overexertion and I had to call it a day. But at that point, I had already received all the information I asked for and more.

She showed me some bits of the future as well. When I get visions, it usually comes with some kind of energy that differs from time to time. The energy I felt... It just so happens that all the visions I've ever had while feeling this specific kind of energy have come true, so I feel like I can believe it.

I don't know what it is about Her, but even though I'm such a sceptical person and doubt what I sense sometimes, She always manages to convince me somehow. I think She's really amazing, and I'm glad to have Her as my Guardian.

I don't know how to thank you. For so long I had given up on knowing. I thought there was no way I could know for sure how things would go beforehand, and it caused me so much stress and anxiety. But now, I know. On multiple levels, it's such a relief that I'm on the verge of crying a bit.
It's all because you encouraged me to seek guidance. I don't know how to express how much this means to me.

She told me not to speak too openly about the answers I got. At some point someone will read this thread looking for answers themselves, and giving me the information I asked for isn't worth ruining someone's life by causing them to make a horrible mistake. If someone wants to know what's the right path for them, then they need to ask the Gods themselves rather than looking at the advice someone else received.
As such, I think it's best if keep most of what I heard and saw and understood to myself.

Even so, I want to share this: although what Their return would look like was beyond my comprehension, my GD did promise me that if I still need Their help by the time They arrive, then They will help me very much. I felt such warm kindness behind those words.

Once again, thank you so much... I didn't think there was a point in looking for guidance again, but I was so wrong. I thought there was no way for me to figure this out for sure. And yet, now I know it all with such certainty... I didn't even think it was possible. I guess I had underestimated how much more I would be able to understand after working on my abilities so much the past year.

That is a perfectly fine answer, I myself and one who's true potential does not show itself unless I have someone I am protecting, someone I am nurturing, and someone I am loving and taking care for, however, as I know there is such a person out there for me, I would focus on my advancement, I would do my very best to become a God. Once I became a God I would do something very similar to you.

We are different in the stance that I do not need others to survive. My life would but fulfilling and enjoyable just living for only myself, however, I can reach a new level of fulfillment and a new level of potential when I have someone else who I love and cherish, BUT, it is not a need if that makes sense.

I would highly recommend finding out why you need others to be fulfilled. If you are like me and you don't need others but others allow you to grasp ahold of greater potential then that is fine, however, if you truly need others and cannot exist for purely yourself then that is only a weakness, you must rid yourself of it, eventually it may be used against you after all.

If you're used to being surrounded by kind and loving people, then you won't mind being alone for a little bit. But I think after hundreds or even a thousand years of having no one you can trust, you might start to feel differently. Being alone for too long undoubtedly traumatised me. I never want to be alone like that again.
I also don't have any earth in my chart, but talking to others really tends to help me stay grounded.

Besides that, or perhaps due to that, it says in multiple places in my chart that I really need a deep connection with someone in order to be happy. As long as I'm careful who I trust, I think that is fine, because thankfully I do not live in a world where I am all lone.

Here is a scenario I often give people, if you were in a room, in this room was a table with 20 buttons labeled 1-20 and a voice told you that one of these buttons will set you free, but the other 19 will lead to you being tortured to death in horrible ways. To let you make such a decision would be to let you act out of ignorance.

Now, if came into the room and told you what every button did, button 1 involves x, button 2 involves y, button 3 involves z, etc. and I told you that button 13 is the button you need to push to be freed. What I have done is allowed you to understand the full range, the full scope of your actions and the consequences of them. NOW, don't get me wrong, you could very press what ever button you want, however, you would know that only button 13 sets you free. Tell me, what button would you press?

I'm not sure if I'd be able to trust a stranger, so I might consider using my own divination to try and foresee which button has the best chance of working in my favor. However, if you could prove to me that you are trustworthy, or it was someone I already trust that told me, then I would nervously press button 13 and hope that it was the right choice. It sounds like a terrifying situation, although I suppose it's supposed to be a metaphor and I'm taking it too literally?

The above scenario stands to show how important it is to act without ignorance. Ignorance can be very dangerous. You can gain knowledge through various ways, intuition, communication with those more intelligent/knowledgeable, meditation, study, reading, listening, watching, all kinds of ways, do not EVER live your life in a way where you find it acceptable to make a life altering decisions based of ignorance. Your stance "I won't truly what knows what happens until I do it" is nothing but bullshit, you most certainly can know if you want, it requires hard work and dedication to see the future, without revealing too much about myself, I have been an Zevism for many years, at the height of my advancement I was able to see roughly 10 seconds into the future constantly, this was an extremely valuable asset to me however, I allowed myself to de-advance spiritually for another person for 2 years, trying to help them get off their lazy ass and meditate, advance, I did this because I thought I "loved" them and I thought they were worth it and I thought they would be able to become a great Zevism, I was making life altering decisions based on ignorance. I am sure there are many other Zevism who could tell you how they learned not to act out of ignorance, for me, it was losing every spiritual ability I had gained in my years of Zevism, becoming heavily cursed from a jew I was too spiritual ignorant to realized(When at my prime I could tell a jew just from a single word message, even something such as "hey" I knew instantly whether their soul was of gentile or jewish origin), and many other awful things, the point being, you should never make any life altering decisions based on ignorance.

I'm sorry to hear you went through something like that... That story reminds me a bit of someone I chatted with on discord once, but I thought at the time that he was a lost cause because the person he loved was mixed race and certainly not the same race as him, and he said he didn't meditate often because "his advancement made him require it less", so I considered him an infiltrator. He also had a similar profile picture and talked in a similar way to you. I'm getting chills...
It's probably just a coincidence though. You don't seem like a bad person. And the person I chose to trust instead back then turned out to be a jew and nearly ruined my life...
I'm so sorry for any inconvenience I might have caused you back then! Although it's probably really just a coincidence. I think. I hope. I was really heavily deceived at that time by a different infiltrator (which turned out to be a jew) and I went all out cursing that infiltrator because I thought he was cursing my friends... But now I'm wondering if that was really all there was to it...

I just stay on the forums these days. I think it's just way too dangerous to talk to other Zevism elsewhere unless you already knew them from something else; I was unaware of that at first. People can really drag each other down with their issues if they're not careful, not to mention actual infiltrators with malicious agendas mixed in here and there, or literal Yehubor.

Also, do not thank me, I am honored to serve Satan and to communicate with my brothers and sisters and share my knowledge, as such, the pleasure is all mine. Also, I am not communicating with you out of any caring for you, I am communicating with you because your insight and knowledge is also valuable, my reading and responding to your messages are purely selfish and nothing more for the following reasons.
1. I enjoy communicating with my brothers and sisters. It brings me joy to have a place where I can share and express myself without the Yehubor-approved limitation, I can be who I truly am around my brothers and sisters without any worries.
2. I am learning from our interaction. I try to learn from every interaction, even if all I learn is how to communicate better.
3. Your perspective is valuable to me. It takes a special kind of individual to become an Zevism, I value all Zevism perspectives, especially if they are different from my own, you can only expand your horizon of understanding by hearing what you don't already know after all.
4. I enjoy helping others, so by sharing my knowledge which may benefit you or others in the future it brings me happiness.

I'm glad this conversation is so insightful for you. I merely wanted to share my perspective with someone, so it's nice to talk to someone who is so interested.

Although to be honest, I'm a bit on edge after remembering that last bit. That time was truly awful. I really lost myself. Although I suppose I'm not the only one. Not like that makes it better though.

Let's both be careful so that we'll never fall into such mistakes again. Such setbacks are truly awful.

 

[Magical DarkCely]

Everybody has their responsibilities. Zevism is individual and you are what you feel you are. it's your business if you do HRT and/or surgery. nobody will bring you to burn in "hell" if you are Twin Soul. it's a spiritual being. just be sure you are Twin Soul. in case you are it and you need HRT for saving your life, go for it. but Satan and Demons will never say to you something about HRT or surgery. they just want you are okey. in case, they love you for what you are and they already know you are like this. just go inside your soul and see what you are. as someone said, in a trance state visualize yourself in a way you feel yourself alone. obviously not a furry or something like that... your gender, favorite body and your favorite outfit and maybe your favorite place (also astral temple). just visualize yourself as what you prefer. if you're in a relaxed state, you know what you want and what you are. just love yourself, the rest will come to itself.

 

[Magical DarkCely]

Everybody has their responsibilities. Zevism is individual and you are what you feel you are. it's your business if you do HRT and/or surgery. nobody will bring you to burn in "hell" if you are Twin Soul. it's a spiritual being. just be sure you are Twin Soul. in case you are it and you need HRT for saving your life, go for it. but Satan and Demons will never say to you something about HRT or surgery. they just want you are okey. in case, they love you for what you are and they already know you are like this. just go inside your soul and see what you are. as someone said, in a trance state visualize yourself in a way you feel yourself alone. obviously not a furry or something like that... your gender, favorite body and your favorite outfit and maybe your favorite place (also astral temple). just visualize yourself as what you prefer. if you're in a relaxed state, you know what you want and what you are. just love yourself, the rest will come to itself.

P.S: surgery is like mutilation, but everyone has their responsibility. HRT is safe if you do exams. but in the waiting time, i suggest you to work on yourself. don't be depressed during the waiting, let it flow. you are receiving what you need.

 

[Aquarius]

This thread has attracted many with delusional views of reality.
Your gender is your biological sex, you don't change that no matter how much you wish to be something else nor how much you mutilate yourself or alter your hormones.
Simply you have self acceptance issues. And delusions.
It's not about what makes you happy, it's reality. No matter how much you want to be a unicorn, you're always gonna be a human. And no matter how much you want to be of the opposite sex, you're always gonna be what you are, you might aswell advance and accept yourself for what you are.

 

[Alt123]

Honestly, I think that's what causes this topic to be so controversial: "transgender" is too broad of a label to actually describe one specific group of people.

No it isn’t. A transgender is specifically someone who has underwent gender reassignment surgery/receives hormone therapy. Just because you or someone else has a different idea and wants to include different groups of people doesn’t change the definition. A crossdresser or someone similar is not transgender.

A single person doesn't get to decide on his own what words mean. By conventional definitions, what you describe is usually referred to as transsexual, while transgender is used to mean a lot of vastly different things. Even then, different people have different opinions about what each word means.

To illustrate this, I'll give some examples of different people I've met over the years who identified as "transgender":


Although I've only spoken to her once as I was too disgusted by her victim mentality to speak to her again, I know of someone who identifies as a man. She has delusions of being a man in a past life and considers being a woman as a punishment. As far as I know, she doesn't take hormones and hasn't had any surgeries and looks and sounds like a normal woman. She still calls herself transgender regardless.

I knew a guy who pretended to be a girl online for several years, and considered himself transgender during that time. He was very shy IRL and liked the attention he got and took pictures while crossdressing to send to guys on discord and sext with them. He went to a clinic to try to get hormone therapy because he felt like transitioning would help him overcome his social anxiety, but his anxiety was so cripppling that he was unable to communicate with the doctors and got diagnosed with autism instead and was dismissed.
After that he started smoking weed which caused his social anxiety to disappear. He became much more social IRL and lost interest in crossdressing or pretending to be a girl since he felt like there was no longer any reason to.
(Do not smoke weed by the way, it's very dangerous. If you want to overcome problems like anxiety, meditation is way better.)

I once met a girl with a strange haircut who identified as non-binary and legally changed her name to a unisex name. She also considered herself transgender. I only chatted with her for a minute so I don't know her full motivations, but I think she just wanted to be special and rebel against stereotypes.

I once talked to an obese man who identified as a lesbian and took hormone therapy and wanted to have surgery. He showed me a picture of him and his wife at a rally against Trump. His hairstyle was a blue bihawk, and he was an extreme leftist. If I had to guess why this person decided to do all these things, it's because he was brainwashed into hating men, including himself, and wanted to "become a woman" through medical means without letting go of his masculinity.
I felt creeped out that I left the discord server where he found me. Anyway, this person also called himself transgender and does actually fit your description.

I also knew another guy who identified as a lesbian. He had legally changed his name, had long hair and usually dressed like a woman, took hormones and wanted to have surgery. He looked quite feminine, but had a rather dominant personality. Based on what he told me I think he just wanted to be more in touch with his feminine side, and wanted to date lesbians specifically because he thought they're usually a bit more dominant than straight women, and overly submissive partners bored him.
He had a very painful condition that caused his vertebrae to grow together and then break apart, continuously. Apparently the hormone treatment cured this as the condition was exacerbated by testosterone. I wonder if that was also something that motivated him?

Oh, and there was also a gay guy who wanted to be a woman and secretly took hormone pills because he thought he would go to xian "hell" if he had sex with a guy without doing that. Great logic, right? I introduced him to ToZ and he told me the meditations here cured his anxiety, but I got a really gross feeling whenever I talked to him so I stopped talking to him and don't know how he's doing now.


Personally, I wasn't able to relate to any of them because my specific reasons and circumstances were different as well. Although it's not like I'm rushing to be categorised like that anyway. I'd rather be called a woman or a gay man than "transgender". It just sounds so weird and unnatural to me... I have my reasons to want to change my body in certain ways, but at heart I am only myself. I do not want to put a label on that which implies being forever intermediate.

Anyway, to get back to my point: people who identify as transgender, or are described as such by others vary vastly not just in what they do or what they like, but also in their motivations. They do these things for vastly different reasons, and depending on those reasons, there may be different ways for them to overcome and grow out of it.

Just off the top of my head I can think of various categories of people that may call themselves transgender:
1. Men who don't know a better way to express their feminine side and vice versa.
2. People who just want to be "special" somehow and stand out more.
3. Men who want more attention from other men, and women who want less attention from men and more from women.
4. Men or women that hate themselves and think they can like themselves more if they change in some drastic way.
And I'm sure there's many more.

When all of those people are put into the same category, having a meaningful discussion about the topic becomes almost impossible. Any statement you make about "transgenders" will apply to some of them but not all, because the differences are just way too vast.
That's why I concluded that it's pointless to look for general answers on this topic. I'm sure that if you divide it into many subcategories that you could get some nice cookie-cutter solutions for how these people can overcome their problems with their sexual identity. But as a whole? Then there's just going to be too many contradictions no matter what your opinion is.

I thought about this topic for a very long time because I wanted to find general answers. I just got stuck every time because every argument for every opinion as well as every counterargument to said argument was full of holes, no matter if I came up with them myself or heard them somewhere else.
That's why I decided to stop caring what others are like, and just do what I think is best for myself based on my best judgement.

 

[Magical DarkCely]

Honestly, I think that's what causes this topic to be so controversial: "transgender" is too broad of a label to actually describe one specific group of people.

No it isn’t. A transgender is specifically someone who has underwent gender reassignment surgery/receives hormone therapy. Just because you or someone else has a different idea and wants to include different groups of people doesn’t change the definition. A crossdresser or someone similar is not transgender.

A single person doesn't get to decide on his own what words mean. By conventional definitions, what you describe is usually referred to as transsexual, while transgender is used to mean a lot of vastly different things. Even then, different people have different opinions about what each word means.

To illustrate this, I'll give some examples of different people I've met over the years who identified as "transgender":


Although I've only spoken to her once as I was too disgusted by her victim mentality to speak to her again, I know of someone who identifies as a man. She has delusions of being a man in a past life and considers being a woman as a punishment. As far as I know, she doesn't take hormones and hasn't had any surgeries and looks and sounds like a normal woman. She still calls herself transgender regardless.

I knew a guy who pretended to be a girl online for several years, and considered himself transgender during that time. He was very shy IRL and liked the attention he got and took pictures while crossdressing to send to guys on discord and sext with them. He went to a clinic to try to get hormone therapy because he felt like transitioning would help him overcome his social anxiety, but his anxiety was so cripppling that he was unable to communicate with the doctors and got diagnosed with autism instead and was dismissed.
After that he started smoking weed which caused his social anxiety to disappear. He became much more social IRL and lost interest in crossdressing or pretending to be a girl since he felt like there was no longer any reason to.
(Do not smoke weed by the way, it's very dangerous. If you want to overcome problems like anxiety, meditation is way better.)

I once met a girl with a strange haircut who identified as non-binary and legally changed her name to a unisex name. She also considered herself transgender. I only chatted with her for a minute so I don't know her full motivations, but I think she just wanted to be special and rebel against stereotypes.

I once talked to an obese man who identified as a lesbian and took hormone therapy and wanted to have surgery. He showed me a picture of him and his wife at a rally against Trump. His hairstyle was a blue bihawk, and he was an extreme leftist. If I had to guess why this person decided to do all these things, it's because he was brainwashed into hating men, including himself, and wanted to "become a woman" through medical means without letting go of his masculinity.
I felt creeped out that I left the discord server where he found me. Anyway, this person also called himself transgender and does actually fit your description.

I also knew another guy who identified as a lesbian. He had legally changed his name, had long hair and usually dressed like a woman, took hormones and wanted to have surgery. He looked quite feminine, but had a rather dominant personality. Based on what he told me I think he just wanted to be more in touch with his feminine side, and wanted to date lesbians specifically because he thought they're usually a bit more dominant than straight women, and overly submissive partners bored him.
He had a very painful condition that caused his vertebrae to grow together and then break apart, continuously. Apparently the hormone treatment cured this as the condition was exacerbated by testosterone. I wonder if that was also something that motivated him?

Oh, and there was also a gay guy who wanted to be a woman and secretly took hormone pills because he thought he would go to xian "hell" if he had sex with a guy without doing that. Great logic, right? I introduced him to ToZ and he told me the meditations here cured his anxiety, but I got a really gross feeling whenever I talked to him so I stopped talking to him and don't know how he's doing now.


Personally, I wasn't able to relate to any of them because my specific reasons and circumstances were different as well. Although it's not like I'm rushing to be categorised like that anyway. I'd rather be called a woman or a gay man than "transgender". It just sounds so weird and unnatural to me... I have my reasons to want to change my body in certain ways, but at heart I am only myself. I do not want to put a label on that which implies being forever intermediate.

Anyway, to get back to my point: people who identify as transgender, or are described as such by others vary vastly not just in what they do or what they like, but also in their motivations. They do these things for vastly different reasons, and depending on those reasons, there may be different ways for them to overcome and grow out of it.

Just off the top of my head I can think of various categories of people that may call themselves transgender:
1. Men who don't know a better way to express their feminine side and vice versa.
2. People who just want to be "special" somehow and stand out more.
3. Men who want more attention from other men, and women who want less attention from men and more from women.
4. Men or women that hate themselves and think they can like themselves more if they change in some drastic way.
And I'm sure there's many more.

When all of those people are put into the same category, having a meaningful discussion about the topic becomes almost impossible. Any statement you make about "transgenders" will apply to some of them but not all, because the differences are just way too vast.
That's why I concluded that it's pointless to look for general answers on this topic. I'm sure that if you divide it into many subcategories that you could get some nice cookie-cutter solutions for how these people can overcome their problems with their sexual identity. But as a whole? Then there's just going to be too many contradictions no matter what your opinion is.

I thought about this topic for a very long time because I wanted to find general answers. I just got stuck every time because every argument for every opinion as well as every counterargument to said argument was full of holes, no matter if I came up with them myself or heard them somewhere else.
That's why I decided to stop caring what others are like, and just do what I think is best for myself based on my best judgement.

lol these are not transgender, are just mentally ill people. these are a serious problem for trans community, because it can harm true trans people. like detrans people who were people just like "oh i cry, so im not a boy i want to be a girl". you don't become girl or boy taking HRT, you already are it inside. but sure, HRT can help so much. trans is for honest people with themselves and those people are the one who are truly the opposite gender. the rest is just mental illness. if it is a desire, it is a mental illness. if it is a way of being, all normal. just know the true Zevist Femininity and Masculinity. Feminism wants us believe that gender is a social construct and does not exist. Non binary people existed during Native American times, but I don't know so much about them.

 

[Alt123]

lol these are not transgender, are just mentally ill people. these are a serious problem for trans community, because it can harm true trans people. like detrans people who were people just like "oh i cry, so im not a boy i want to be a girl". you don't become girl or boy taking HRT, you already are it inside. but sure, HRT can help so much. trans is for honest people with themselves and those people are the one who are truly the opposite gender. the rest is just mental illness. if it is a desire, it is a mental illness. if it is a way of being, all normal. just know the true Zevist Femininity and Masculinity. Feminism wants us believe that gender is a social construct and does not exist. Non binary people existed during Native American times, but I don't know so much about them.

So you believe that some people are "true trans" while others are just "trenders", right? Sure, there may be some people for who taking HRT is less of a bad idea than others. Recently, there's also a concept people refer to as a "body map" and I know from experience how awful it is when that doesn't match up. Honestly, part of the reason I want to have surgery is because I know it's likely to make the deeply uncomfortable feeling of my genitals being inside out go away. And I would actually have a use for them then.
But in the end, all of that is just mental problems. Are some "true" just because they're harder to overcome than others? Because some scientists claim it's hardwired in the brain? Is that a good way to think?

In the end, it looks to me like people who use that kind of reasoning are just looking for a way to justify their feelings. But it's not logically sound. Just because your body feels like it's supposed to be the opposite sex and you maybe have some neurological similarities to the opposite sex doesn't mean that your Soul is the opposite sex. If it was, then you would've been born as that sex in the first place and there would've been no issue.

I think there's no purpose for transsexuality in nature. If someone needs their physical body to be as much like the opposite sex as possible in order to be happy, then that doesn't mean they "are" the opposite sex or have some kind of condition that makes them special; it just means they were unfortunate to be born with traits that wouldn't allow them to find happiness as their original sex in the society they live in.

If hypothetically I was able to use magick to fix my body map to match my physical body so that it doesn't feel so jarring when my physical genitals are touched, and I met a woman who is taller than me, muscular, has a deep voice and a strong yet gentle personality, then I would be able to create a happy family with someone I really love like I've always wanted to.
But while such a woman probably exists somewhere in Orion, I can't start a family with someone who is so far away.
Since I was born here on Earth, there was no way for me to make my dreams come true. Because I've never met a woman like that in all my lives, and a man can't have children with another man. And it's so hard to even attract a good guy in the first place unless I look like a woman.
Even if I settled for taking care of a pet instead of having a child, I don't remember being able to marry a guy in any of my lives. I was always just cast aside after some time...
I don't think there's something inherently wrong with who I am. But how was I ever supposed to find happiness in this world as a man?

It's possible that all of this logical thinking is pointless and that all my problems with my self-image have nothing to do with any careless magick I did in my past lives, but were actually caused by a biochemical accident of sorts; prenatal exposure to xenoestrogens or whatever. That it was something that I could never do anything about in the first place. But even if that were the case, I don't believe it's logically justifiable to call myself a woman just because of that. If I were really a woman, then my body would be that of a woman as well. With a womb and all. After seeing so many delusional, mentally ill people calling themselves transgender I don't believe in gender anymore, only physical sex.

That's why I believe all these ways people try to justify their actions and categorise people as "true trans" or "trenders" are ultimately pointless. It's still all just convenient delusions. If you want to be a man or a woman, then become one! If you believe it's impossible but still want it, then just do what you can and want! If you don't want it anymore after learning more about yourself or about what the consequences would be, then don't do it!
Everyone's making it all so complicated.

I'll admit that your reasoning is useful for activism; if you place the weirdos in a separate category, then it's easier for the public to accept those who are more well-behaved and probably need these kinds of treatments more in order to be happy.
But on an intellectual level, it won't satisfy me. That said, I'm starting to think I'll never be satisfied on an intellectual level. Instead, I'm starting to get tired of overthinking it so much. Is it justifiable for me to say I'm a woman just because I feel like I'm one and look and sound like one nowadays (perhaps not with all the autistic reasoning I'm writing down here, but at least my voice)? It would all be so simple if I could be satisfied with just that reasoning. And honestly, I'm slowly starting to care less over the years anyway. What is logic worth anyway when my feelings remain the same for all this time? I should just be honest.

I think when it comes down to it people should just try to understand themselves better without being so desperate to label themselves one way or another. If they can solve their problems in a healthier way, then they should. If they can't, then I won't blame them if they take hormones or even have surgery. But it's not a competition about who is "realer". In the end the point is for people to feel comfortable about who they are, and there's multiple ways to reach that point, and it's different for everyone.

Although after thinking about it more, maybe you're right. Where I live things like HRT and surgery are covered by insurance, but to get access to them people must enter a queue and wait for years during which they can think things through themselves, and then go through a lengthy screening process before they are allowed to have HRT. Even then, people are only allowed to have surgery if they successfully transitioned into a new role socially and nothing else helps against their dysphoria. And then there's the presentations with in-depth information about the surgery as well that would undoubtedly scare off a lot of people as well.
Because of how strict all of it is, the satisfaction rate with the surgery is 97% here.
There's still some people I saw at the clinic that looked weird, mainly older people that just got there. But other than that most of them look like fairly normal people. They don't seem much like the mentally ill people I met online that I mentioned earlier.
As critical as I am about this topic, I can't help but sympathise with them a bit. They've had it rough too.

So maybe it really is right to put those people in a different category from the people I met online. But still, when you start saying things like "true trans", it makes me wonder again if any of this is really "true", or if everyone is just doing their best to find happiness however they can, "true trans" or not.
I never liked calling myself "trans". I know what I really need in order to fulfil my dreams: to be a woman completely. I don't like giving up, so I will always do whatever I can to move towards my goal. If it is possible, then I will someday achieve it. Then, I will not be trans; I'll just be myself, living my life to the fullest.
My journey so far has given me great happiness, but my ambitions go further than what medical science can currently do for me. But eventually, this journey will reach its conclusion. When there comes a day that I'm able to have a child with the man I love so much, I'll consider it complete. I'll proudly declare myself a true woman, no matter what anyone else may think of me; I'll be too busy spending time with my husband and children to care what anyone else thinks anyway.
But until then, I know it's all just mind games to cope with an unfortunate reality. That's how I see it.

 

[Aquarius]

trans is for honest people with themselves and those people are the one who are truly the opposite gender

Your biological sex is your gender, nature doesn't make these kind of mistakes. There is nobody that is born male but is actually female, he's just a male.

 

[Alt123]

I've been thinking and thinking so much that I forgot to look all this time. And yet, with a single look at my reflection, it all just makes sense now. Suddenly, all the answers I've been looking for all these years just came to me.

I can't thank my Guardian enough. This always happens when I ask Her to help me understand something and listen to Her. I come to understand things that never even came to mind before.

I really thought about these things for far too long. The things I wrote down so far were the conclusionless logic I formed over thousands of hours in an attempt to understand it all. But now that I really do understand it, all these words have lost their meaning to me, if they ever had any meaning in the first place.
I'm glad that I was able to put it all into words. I'm glad that I was able to share it so that others will read it. Then people will know what I went through.

I'm going to move on from this topic now. Thank you to everyone who replied to me, for giving me a reason to write. Thank you to everyone who read it.
And thank you especially, Artisan. You've become a better person, and you've helped me so much, even if it was indirectly.

Ave Zeus! Hail all the Gods of Humanity! And Hail my Guardian and the others who have helped me, especially!

 

[Stormblood]

One should that "sociology" is pseudoscience. It is not fact-based, but assumption-based. It is enemy brainwashing masked as science. The method of their inquiries and "researches" is completely unscientific: they purposefully ignore to investigate counter-thesis and their hypothesis are "corroborated" by semantics, not evidence. What they call evidence is nothing mass brainwashing/hypnosis through the media, educational establishments and political organisations (lgbt, feminism, etc). In other words, coercive control.

For example, their "we're all one human race" and replacing race with "ethnicity" is disproven by both genetics and metagenics. Likewise, transgenderism is just gender dysphoria. It is disproven by nature on all levels. There is no difference on a brain level. Those are fabricated by the enemy just like they fabricate stats for covid.

One does not need to ask the Gods on their "opinion" when facts speak for themselves. Fact trumps opinion, as the former is based on truth and the latter on unproven assumptions.

People need to do freeing the soul workings to free themselves from the deep self-loathing they have which is unnatural and caused by the enemy. You are wasting time and energy on strengthening your brainwashing when you should be focusing it on empowering yourself and fighting the enemy, which are the top priorities currently.

 

[Artisan]

Although you say "of course", I think there can be value in exploding with emotions as well sometimes. If nothing else, it can get a person's feelings across, and for me it doesn't really make a difference since I'll understand the person's point and feelings either way, regardless of how crudely or refinedly they word it. But I definitely feel the same way as you in the regard that I hold an intrinsic respect for anyone else following this path, especially those who seem to take it seriously, and to a lesser extent other human beings in general.

Emotions are amazing for expressing ones passion and feelings about a topic. I have no issue with that, what I meant was that I don't like people to value emotion over logic, or logic over emotion, they need to be equal and people who don't have this balance, especially in regards to emotion ruling their decision making, are often worthless to talk to.

If you explode in emotions over a topic you are passionate about but quickly gain control then that can be fine in some situations. But even then in 99% of situations that would completely ruin any conversation. There are only two times I could see explosions of emotion being okay.

1. is if the person you are conversing with was genuinely interested in hearing what you had to say, or was someone close to you, there would have to be some kind of emotional connection.

2. If you are talking about a topic you agree on and aren't arguing about, for instance, I explode with emotion speaking on the beauty of life and how much I love life on this planet. I also explode with emotion and venom when speaking about the jew. However I only talk about the enemy to those who are aware. Zevism or those I am trying to deprogram enough to learn from ToZ.

In my own experience, when someone is prone to letting emotion take over them they lack the ability to think logically, when one is prone to letting logic take over them they lack the ability to think emotionally. Both are just as detrimental to each other.

I'm well aware of how it works, sorry for not being clearer about my point. What I changed back then is something along the lines of my self-image, as well as how I appear to people who connect to my mind.
My point was that at the time my confusion led me to try and change my physical appearance in this life, I didn't remember yet that I could change my sex back mentally/astrally. But by the time I realised, I also began to remember why I did it. It was never my intention to leave it at just a mental/astral transformation. From the start, my intention was to become a woman, but I thought I would not be more than a ghost anymore after I died (I was starving, and I did not know about reincarnation at the time), so that was what I focused on. Now that I have a physical body again, and remember my full intentions, I know how I wish to proceed.

As for whether I am male or female, who cares? I know what I want to be in the future, but anyone is free to form their own opinion about my current state based on whatever reasoning they like. Rather than pondering what category I might fall into right now, I'd rather just work towards a future where it's not so ambiguous anymore.

figure of the past I see, thank you for explaining. In regards to your first point I have nothing to say, you have your own reasoning and I respect that, it is not my place to interfere with that after all, responsibility to the responsible and all that.

Also, you should care about who you are, you do actually care as you are using the present to create the future you desire, this is something I strive for myself, the past is written in stone, it is for learning, the future is yet to be written, it is for setting a goal, the present is for living, you can undo the mistakes of your past and create a future you desire through action in the present.

Despite wording my opinions as if I don't know a thing, I often see the consequences of my actions beforehand, as I tend to think things through very much and also have a very sharp intuition mixed with a bit of psychic ability. I do not take forming opinions lightly: I always believe that which I consider to be the most plausible based on my logic, relevant experiences or things I've perceived in any reliable way, as well as my intuition. That also goes for all the opinions I have shared so far. I do not believe anything without any reasoning to back up.

You may call me pedantic if you want, but the reason I express so much doubt and uncertainty in my beliefs is not because I particularly doubt them, but rather because it bothers me that I don't know them with "absolute certainty". I'm the kind of person that doesn't feel right saying I'm certain about something until I see it with my own eyes, no matter how much prior knowledge I have. I always believe there could still be something that I'm missing or overlooking, or that there could be a flaw in my logic, until I ascertain it with my own eyes.

Normally I don't mind it too much because the conclusions I reach tend to be very accurate anyway, and even if there's a few inaccuracies, it's usually doesn't matter that much. But can you imagine how terrifying it is for me to not have absolute certainty about something like this? It actually really bothers me, even if I try to act tough.

Worry not about being pedantic, many would call me pedantic in certain areas of life as well.

Also, worry is something very bad to have, something my guardian told me once was "Worrying will be your detriment" as a powerful mind and soul attracts what it dwells on. I believe the same to be true for any Zevism. I was once at a point where just focusing on something intensely I would feel a little "click" in my mind and then it would happen, money, no problem, relationships, no problem, sex, no problem, it was really crazy, it was during these times that my guardian told me this.

Fortunately, I was able to tell when I was making something happen, there was a certain thing which would happen before the "click" in my mind. I almost put myself in prison and had really awful shit happen to me due to me being unable to control my worry. It was a living nightmare, being able to make things happen with the power of my mind but also not being able to control my own worry to the point I almost destroyed my life.

I have long since devolved from that point of advancement due to the reasons I spoke of earlier. I am working to get back to it and eventually surpass it, the reason I am sharing this with you is because I don't want you to let worry become your enemy like it was mine.

At first when I read this I felt a bit offended. I felt like I've already done so much to try and understand things the best I can. How am I supposed to ascertain any of this when no one else here on Earth really knows either?
As I thought that, I realised you were exactly right. I had already given up on knowing, just because it was so difficult...

I wasn't sure if I should bother my GD to ask all these questions. I figured that even if I heard replies, how could I truly be certain that I understood the answers correctly? Regardless of what I heard, would it even change anything? I felt rather cynical about it.

Even so, I really wanted to try, and decided to ask if She had time, and when I felt and heard Her in my mind, I ended up asking all of those questions, as well as so many others that my third eye started to ache from overexertion and I had to call it a day. But at that point, I had already received all the information I asked for and more.

She showed me some bits of the future as well. When I get visions, it usually comes with some kind of energy that differs from time to time. The energy I felt... It just so happens that all the visions I've ever had while feeling this specific kind of energy have come true, so I feel like I can believe it.

I don't know what it is about Her, but even though I'm such a sceptical person and doubt what I sense sometimes, She always manages to convince me somehow. I think She's really amazing, and I'm glad to have Her as my Guardian.

I don't know how to thank you. For so long I had given up on knowing. I thought there was no way I could know for sure how things would go beforehand, and it caused me so much stress and anxiety. But now, I know. On multiple levels, it's such a relief that I'm on the verge of crying a bit.
It's all because you encouraged me to seek guidance. I don't know how to express how much this means to me.

She told me not to speak too openly about the answers I got. At some point someone will read this thread looking for answers themselves, and giving me the information I asked for isn't worth ruining someone's life by causing them to make a horrible mistake. If someone wants to know what's the right path for them, then they need to ask the Gods themselves rather than looking at the advice someone else received.
As such, I think it's best if keep most of what I heard and saw and understood to myself.

Even so, I want to share this: although what Their return would look like was beyond my comprehension, my GD did promise me that if I still need Their help by the time They arrive, then They will help me very much. I felt such warm kindness behind those words.

Once again, thank you so much... I didn't think there was a point in looking for guidance again, but I was so wrong. I thought there was no way for me to figure this out for sure. And yet, now I know it all with such certainty... I didn't even think it was possible. I guess I had underestimated how much more I would be able to understand after working on my abilities so much the past year.

There is no need to thank me, in fact I am glad to have helped you reach out to your GD and seek said answers. All of my brothers and sisters are dear to me, we may have differing opinions on things but I love each of my family very deeply and would never want them to make a decision out of ignorance, especially one like this.

I am glad that you were able to get the knowledge you needed Also, worry not about sharing any answers you received from the Gods. Those answers are for you and you alone, what you said is exactly right Your interaction with your GD is exclusively yours, never share anything you don't desire to, that you feel will hurt someone, or that the Gods told you was for you only, anyone who wants you to reveal such information is no friend of yours to become with.

If you're used to being surrounded by kind and loving people, then you won't mind being alone for a little bit. But I think after hundreds or even a thousand years of having no one you can trust, you might start to feel differently. Being alone for too long undoubtedly traumatised me. I never want to be alone like that again.
I also don't have any earth in my chart, but talking to others really tends to help me stay grounded.

Besides that, or perhaps due to that, it says in multiple places in my chart that I really need a deep connection with someone in order to be happy. As long as I'm careful who I trust, I think that is fine, because thankfully I do not live in a world where I am all lone.

That is a good viewpoint, I have never had anyone who I could really trust except the Gods. I have been alone for the majority of my life in terms of human connection. It really did fuck me up, however, I never had any hope of being more than what I was, I used to be a very disgusting vile person on the surface. Satan saw what was within my heart, within my soul, and helped me and guided me to him. In heart I am nothing like the person I used to be.

As I said I would do something similar to you, however, as I know there is someone out their for me I would do the same thing and work on restarting life on earth, the difference is that I would only do it after obtaining Godhead, regardless of how long that took.

I'm not sure if I'd be able to trust a stranger, so I might consider using my own divination to try and foresee which button has the best chance of working in my favor. However, if you could prove to me that you are trustworthy, or it was someone I already trust that told me, then I would nervously press button 13 and hope that it was the right choice. It sounds like a terrifying situation, although I suppose it's supposed to be a metaphor and I'm taking it too literally?

It is a metaphor you are taking too literally as you supposed. :lol: The point I was making is that it is important to have knowledge, in the future I will specify a set of rules, one of which being that I will always be 100% truthful in the given scenario.

I'm sorry to hear you went through something like that... That story reminds me a bit of someone I chatted with on discord once, but I thought at the time that he was a lost cause because the person he loved was mixed race and certainly not the same race as him, and he said he didn't meditate often because "his advancement made him require it less", so I considered him an infiltrator. He also had a similar profile picture and talked in a similar way to you. I'm getting chills...
It's probably just a coincidence though. You don't seem like a bad person. And the person I chose to trust instead back then turned out to be a jew and nearly ruined my life...
I'm so sorry for any inconvenience I might have caused you back then! Although it's probably really just a coincidence. I think. I hope. I was really heavily deceived at that time by a different infiltrator (which turned out to be a jew) and I went all out cursing that infiltrator because I thought he was cursing my friends... But now I'm wondering if that was really all there was to it...

I just stay on the forums these days. I think it's just way too dangerous to talk to other Zevism elsewhere unless you already knew them from something else; I was unaware of that at first. People can really drag each other down with their issues if they're not careful, not to mention actual infiltrators with malicious agendas mixed in here and there, or literal Yehubor.

1. I can assure you that I am not the person you speak of, I am not going to reveal exactly how I know(correlation data is a bitch after all :lol Just know that there are many things you said which couldn't possible relate to me in any way. For instance, I have never used a similar profile picture to this, I actually grabbed this out of a mega link one of our family members shared :lol:

2. I will tell you some wise words from a wise man(HP Zevios Metathronos) which have stuck with me for years.
"One must tend to their own garden before tending to the gardens of others"

What this means is that you must focus on yourself before focusing on others, when people neglect that it only leads to ruin, if you never learn how to grow your own flowers you can't help others grow theirs. In the same way you cannot give a homeless man $5 if you, yourself, don't have $5, you cannot help others if you don't help yourself first.

I cannot recall what post this exact post is from, I believe it is from the old forums as searching for it on the new forums brings up a bunch of threads. Three of which, if you haven't read them, I would highly recommend.

Zevism - A Religion For Everyone?
On Chakra Work
On Pride, Ego, and Kundalini Advancement]/url]

Also if you are interested in the times HPHC mentioned the word garden. [url=https://ancient-forums.com/search.php?keywords=garden&terms=all&author=HP.+Zevios Metathronos&sc=1&sf=all&sr=posts&sk=t&sd=d&st=0&ch=300&t=0&submit=Search]Search for garden There are only 23 posts but they are really good.

Also, an example of correlation data being a bitch, something I mentioned, what HPHC said, adding onto posts from this account in the past, and me having a post from my old account in my bio, reveals one of my previous accounts on this website, namely Shrouded

The only reason I abandoned the above account is because I lost access to my login information. I did unfortunately make promises to people on that account which I was unable to uphold for various reasons including my login problem. I am sure they understand however. I will eventually create the posts I promised to them, but, I will focus on my own advancement before that. I only talk with Zevism on the forums now a days too, unless I brought them to Zevism myself and can trust them with my life, otherwise I avoid talking with them off the forums. I used to have an email which was publicly available but I recently deactivated it as I was putting myself in harms way for fucking nothing. yehuborim love to send you curses in the form of images that activate as soon as you see them, HPHC talked about this shit when discussing moderation of posts and the awful shit that goes through the approval process on the website, my heart goes out to my brothers and sisters who do that, one day I would like to be a moderator, once I am able to clean myself and protect myself efficiently.

Be very careful with what you share, you can very easily share something which seems innocent and safe, but when compared with other data it's very easy to find out who you are. Here is a presentation from defcon22(defcon 2014) which discusses correlation data really well and how it's been used to de-anonymize people in the past. Dropping Docs On Darknets. How People Got Caught.

OH SHIT, WHILE WORKING ON THIS POST I FOUND THE POST WHICH HPHC TALKED ABOUT TENDING TO YOUR OWN GARDEN! Be sure to read this, it is deeply insightful.

On Relations Between Spiritual Zevists

I'm glad this conversation is so insightful for you. I merely wanted to share my perspective with someone, so it's nice to talk to someone who is so interested.

Although to be honest, I'm a bit on edge after remembering that last bit. That time was truly awful. I really lost myself. Although I suppose I'm not the only one. Not like that makes it better though.

Let's both be careful so that we'll never fall into such mistakes again. Such setbacks are truly awful.

I agree with you there, let us avoid such foolishness in the future.

I don't know if it's okay to say all of this on here, but I don't have another way to contact you. I was wrong about you not knowing me, although I don't know if you remember me.
I have to apologise to you properly, and I have to thank you properly for what you did.

I knew the jew you mentioned. He told me over the phone that he had jewish genetics but wanted to be a Zevist despite that; he wanted me to know that for a reason I'd rather not remember. But it only takes a single glance at all the harm he's done to other Zevism in the past to see how full of shit he was. I tried telling others, but I feel like they didn't believe me. I could tell based on what other people told me that for years, he had somehow managed to make his energy appear almost just like a human's to others. I fell for it as well.

That piece of shit manipulated my protective instincts to get me to attack you once, using abilities I didn't even know I had as I was controlled by rage.
I did not understand well at first how my abilities worked, and thought you might die after what I did to you, even if it was only for 10 minutes. And yet you're here, safe, free from the mistakes of your past, and a proper Zevism.
I knew back then that nothing I could've said to you would have convinced you to change your ways. Even though I was still so new to all of this, I could see how horribly you had lost your way. When I saw your first post on these forums a few months ago, I thought there was no way it was really you despite the resemblance, because I thought your mind had been corrupted beyond any salvation by something or someone that was influencing you. And yet, here you are.

As someone who had lost my way as well, I sincerely want to congratulate you for being here. And I hope that you can forgive me for what I did. I don't know to what extent my actions or those of others affected you, but I hope that in a way it acted as a slap on the wrist to get you to reconsider your life decisions. I'm just glad you're fine now. It was heart-breaking for me to see that someone with the potential to be a good Zevist had let himself go like that just because of wishful thinking. I fully understand now where you're coming from with that talk about ignorance. I'll be extra careful to remain objective and unbiased.

Furthermore, I want to thank you. What you did caused that jew to become so frantic and busy trying to protect his own ass that he abandoned all his plans and all the people that he had deceived. Because he was no longer there to control me, I was able to free myself from his brainwashing before the damage was irreversible, and make a full recovery. After that, what I did to him was about 90 times worse than what I did to you. And yet, what you did may still have gone beyond what I would've been able to do with just spiritual means.
However that Yehubor scumbag is doing these days, it can't be good. For that, I am extremely grateful to you. Thank you so much.

I'm sorry if bringing this up makes you uncomfortable. But the fact that you're here makes me feel less alone. For a long time now I've felt like no one but the Gods would really understand what I went through back then; and yet, you might. So, thank you for realising your mistakes and becoming a proper Zevism again. Thank you for being here. I know you're here for your own sake, but it means a lot to me.

Haha, once again I believe you have me confused with another person. It may just be that my energy is very similar to that of another person. I have never been in any serious relationships with someone who was a different race from myself after joining Zevism. I have made occasional mistakes such as liking someone of a different race, being attracted to the properties of my own race within them but that attraction has always dissipated within a day after I realized what I was doing.

The person I allowed myself to de-advance for was also of my own race. I am sure that you were relieved to find someone you thought you knew on the forums, however, it would be wrong of me to run with that confusion you have of me. I have been on the old forums and the new forums for a long time, I have just changed accounts as I didn't want to become an influential member of the community and a new person seeing one of my older posts and getting hurt from it, the reason I have abandoned many accounts is because I have simply gone through different stages of enlightenment and don't want someone to see the truth of my recent posts and as a result, get hurt by assuming my old posts contain truth.

So, once again, I am sorry that you are confused, however, I am not the person you think I am

 

[Artisan]

Although you say "of course", I think there can be value in exploding with emotions as well sometimes. If nothing else, it can get a person's feelings across, and for me it doesn't really make a difference since I'll understand the person's point and feelings either way, regardless of how crudely or refinedly they word it. But I definitely feel the same way as you in the regard that I hold an intrinsic respect for anyone else following this path, especially those who seem to take it seriously, and to a lesser extent other human beings in general.

Emotions are amazing for expressing ones passion and feelings about a topic. I have no issue with that, what I meant was that I don't like people to value emotion over logic, or logic over emotion, they need to be equal and people who don't have this balance, especially in regards to emotion ruling their decision making, are often worthless to talk to.

If you explode in emotions over a topic you are passionate about but quickly gain control then that can be fine in some situations. But even then in 99% of situations that would completely ruin any conversation. There are only two times I could see explosions of emotion being okay.

1. is if the person you are conversing with was genuinely interested in hearing what you had to say, or was someone close to you, there would have to be some kind of emotional connection.

2. If you are talking about a topic you agree on and aren't arguing about, for instance, I explode with emotion speaking on the beauty of life and how much I love life on this planet. I also explode with emotion and venom when speaking about the jew. However I only talk about the enemy to those who are aware. Zevism or those I am trying to deprogram enough to learn from ToZ.

In my own experience, when someone is prone to letting emotion take over them they lack the ability to think logically, when one is prone to letting logic take over them they lack the ability to think emotionally. Both are just as detrimental to each other.

I'm well aware of how it works, sorry for not being clearer about my point. What I changed back then is something along the lines of my self-image, as well as how I appear to people who connect to my mind.
My point was that at the time my confusion led me to try and change my physical appearance in this life, I didn't remember yet that I could change my sex back mentally/astrally. But by the time I realised, I also began to remember why I did it. It was never my intention to leave it at just a mental/astral transformation. From the start, my intention was to become a woman, but I thought I would not be more than a ghost anymore after I died (I was starving, and I did not know about reincarnation at the time), so that was what I focused on. Now that I have a physical body again, and remember my full intentions, I know how I wish to proceed.

As for whether I am male or female, who cares? I know what I want to be in the future, but anyone is free to form their own opinion about my current state based on whatever reasoning they like. Rather than pondering what category I might fall into right now, I'd rather just work towards a future where it's not so ambiguous anymore.

figure of the past I see, thank you for explaining. In regards to your first point I have nothing to say, you have your own reasoning and I respect that, it is not my place to interfere with that after all, responsibility to the responsible and all that.

Also, you should care about who you are, you do actually care as you are using the present to create the future you desire, this is something I strive for myself, the past is written in stone, it is for learning, the future is yet to be written, it is for setting a goal, the present is for living, you can undo the mistakes of your past and create a future you desire through action in the present.

Despite wording my opinions as if I don't know a thing, I often see the consequences of my actions beforehand, as I tend to think things through very much and also have a very sharp intuition mixed with a bit of psychic ability. I do not take forming opinions lightly: I always believe that which I consider to be the most plausible based on my logic, relevant experiences or things I've perceived in any reliable way, as well as my intuition. That also goes for all the opinions I have shared so far. I do not believe anything without any reasoning to back up.

You may call me pedantic if you want, but the reason I express so much doubt and uncertainty in my beliefs is not because I particularly doubt them, but rather because it bothers me that I don't know them with "absolute certainty". I'm the kind of person that doesn't feel right saying I'm certain about something until I see it with my own eyes, no matter how much prior knowledge I have. I always believe there could still be something that I'm missing or overlooking, or that there could be a flaw in my logic, until I ascertain it with my own eyes.

Normally I don't mind it too much because the conclusions I reach tend to be very accurate anyway, and even if there's a few inaccuracies, it's usually doesn't matter that much. But can you imagine how terrifying it is for me to not have absolute certainty about something like this? It actually really bothers me, even if I try to act tough.

Worry not about being pedantic, many would call me pedantic in certain areas of life as well.

Also, worry is something very bad to have, something my guardian told me once was "Worrying will be your detriment" as a powerful mind and soul attracts what it dwells on. I believe the same to be true for any Zevism. I was once at a point where just focusing on something intensely I would feel a little "click" in my mind and then it would happen, money, no problem, relationships, no problem, sex, no problem, it was really crazy, it was during these times that my guardian told me this.

Fortunately, I was able to tell when I was making something happen, there was a certain thing which would happen before the "click" in my mind. I almost put myself in prison and had really awful shit happen to me due to me being unable to control my worry. It was a living nightmare, being able to make things happen with the power of my mind but also not being able to control my own worry to the point I almost destroyed my life.

I have long since devolved from that point of advancement due to the reasons I spoke of earlier. I am working to get back to it and eventually surpass it, the reason I am sharing this with you is because I don't want you to let worry become your enemy like it was mine.

At first when I read this I felt a bit offended. I felt like I've already done so much to try and understand things the best I can. How am I supposed to ascertain any of this when no one else here on Earth really knows either?
As I thought that, I realised you were exactly right. I had already given up on knowing, just because it was so difficult...

I wasn't sure if I should bother my GD to ask all these questions. I figured that even if I heard replies, how could I truly be certain that I understood the answers correctly? Regardless of what I heard, would it even change anything? I felt rather cynical about it.

Even so, I really wanted to try, and decided to ask if She had time, and when I felt and heard Her in my mind, I ended up asking all of those questions, as well as so many others that my third eye started to ache from overexertion and I had to call it a day. But at that point, I had already received all the information I asked for and more.

She showed me some bits of the future as well. When I get visions, it usually comes with some kind of energy that differs from time to time. The energy I felt... It just so happens that all the visions I've ever had while feeling this specific kind of energy have come true, so I feel like I can believe it.

I don't know what it is about Her, but even though I'm such a sceptical person and doubt what I sense sometimes, She always manages to convince me somehow. I think She's really amazing, and I'm glad to have Her as my Guardian.

I don't know how to thank you. For so long I had given up on knowing. I thought there was no way I could know for sure how things would go beforehand, and it caused me so much stress and anxiety. But now, I know. On multiple levels, it's such a relief that I'm on the verge of crying a bit.
It's all because you encouraged me to seek guidance. I don't know how to express how much this means to me.

She told me not to speak too openly about the answers I got. At some point someone will read this thread looking for answers themselves, and giving me the information I asked for isn't worth ruining someone's life by causing them to make a horrible mistake. If someone wants to know what's the right path for them, then they need to ask the Gods themselves rather than looking at the advice someone else received.
As such, I think it's best if keep most of what I heard and saw and understood to myself.

Even so, I want to share this: although what Their return would look like was beyond my comprehension, my GD did promise me that if I still need Their help by the time They arrive, then They will help me very much. I felt such warm kindness behind those words.

Once again, thank you so much... I didn't think there was a point in looking for guidance again, but I was so wrong. I thought there was no way for me to figure this out for sure. And yet, now I know it all with such certainty... I didn't even think it was possible. I guess I had underestimated how much more I would be able to understand after working on my abilities so much the past year.

There is no need to thank me, in fact I am glad to have helped you reach out to your GD and seek said answers. All of my brothers and sisters are dear to me, we may have differing opinions on things but I love each of my family very deeply and would never want them to make a decision out of ignorance, especially one like this.

I am glad that you were able to get the knowledge you needed Also, worry not about sharing any answers you received from the Gods. Those answers are for you and you alone, what you said is exactly right Your interaction with your GD is exclusively yours, never share anything you don't desire to, that you feel will hurt someone, or that the Gods told you was for you only, anyone who wants you to reveal such information is no friend of yours to become with.

If you're used to being surrounded by kind and loving people, then you won't mind being alone for a little bit. But I think after hundreds or even a thousand years of having no one you can trust, you might start to feel differently. Being alone for too long undoubtedly traumatised me. I never want to be alone like that again.
I also don't have any earth in my chart, but talking to others really tends to help me stay grounded.

Besides that, or perhaps due to that, it says in multiple places in my chart that I really need a deep connection with someone in order to be happy. As long as I'm careful who I trust, I think that is fine, because thankfully I do not live in a world where I am all lone.

That is a good viewpoint, I have never had anyone who I could really trust except the Gods. I have been alone for the majority of my life in terms of human connection. It really did fuck me up, however, I never had any hope of being more than what I was, I used to be a very disgusting vile person on the surface. Satan saw what was within my heart, within my soul, and helped me and guided me to him. In heart I am nothing like the person I used to be.

As I said I would do something similar to you, however, as I know there is someone out their for me I would do the same thing and work on restarting life on earth, the difference is that I would only do it after obtaining Godhead, regardless of how long that took.

I'm not sure if I'd be able to trust a stranger, so I might consider using my own divination to try and foresee which button has the best chance of working in my favor. However, if you could prove to me that you are trustworthy, or it was someone I already trust that told me, then I would nervously press button 13 and hope that it was the right choice. It sounds like a terrifying situation, although I suppose it's supposed to be a metaphor and I'm taking it too literally?

It is a metaphor you are taking too literally as you supposed. :lol: The point I was making is that it is important to have knowledge, in the future I will specify a set of rules, one of which being that I will always be 100% truthful in the given scenario.

I'm sorry to hear you went through something like that... That story reminds me a bit of someone I chatted with on discord once, but I thought at the time that he was a lost cause because the person he loved was mixed race and certainly not the same race as him, and he said he didn't meditate often because "his advancement made him require it less", so I considered him an infiltrator. He also had a similar profile picture and talked in a similar way to you. I'm getting chills...
It's probably just a coincidence though. You don't seem like a bad person. And the person I chose to trust instead back then turned out to be a jew and nearly ruined my life...
I'm so sorry for any inconvenience I might have caused you back then! Although it's probably really just a coincidence. I think. I hope. I was really heavily deceived at that time by a different infiltrator (which turned out to be a jew) and I went all out cursing that infiltrator because I thought he was cursing my friends... But now I'm wondering if that was really all there was to it...

I just stay on the forums these days. I think it's just way too dangerous to talk to other Zevism elsewhere unless you already knew them from something else; I was unaware of that at first. People can really drag each other down with their issues if they're not careful, not to mention actual infiltrators with malicious agendas mixed in here and there, or literal Yehubor.

1. I can assure you that I am not the person you speak of, I am not going to reveal exactly how I know(correlation data is a bitch after all :lol Just know that there are many things you said which couldn't possible relate to me in any way. For instance, I have never used a similar profile picture to this, I actually grabbed this out of a mega link one of our family members shared :lol:

2. I will tell you some wise words from a wise man(HP Zevios Metathronos) which have stuck with me for years.
"One must tend to their own garden before tending to the gardens of others"

What this means is that you must focus on yourself before focusing on others, when people neglect that it only leads to ruin, if you never learn how to grow your own flowers you can't help others grow theirs. In the same way you cannot give a homeless man $5 if you, yourself, don't have $5, you cannot help others if you don't help yourself first.

I cannot recall what post this exact post is from, I believe it is from the old forums as searching for it on the new forums brings up a bunch of threads. Three of which, if you haven't read them, I would highly recommend.

Zevism - A Religion For Everyone?
On Chakra Work
On Pride, Ego, and Kundalini Advancement]

Also if you are interested in the times HPHC mentioned the word garden. Search for garden There are only 23 posts but they are really good.

Also, an example of correlation data being a bitch, something I mentioned, what HPHC said, adding onto posts from this account in the past, and me having a post from my old account in my bio, reveals one of my previous accounts on this website, namely Shrouded

The only reason I abandoned the above account is because I lost access to my login information. I did unfortunately make promises to people on that account which I was unable to uphold for various reasons including my login problem. I am sure they understand however. I will eventually create the posts I promised to them, but, I will focus on my own advancement before that. I only talk with Zevism on the forums now a days too, unless I brought them to Zevism myself and can trust them with my life, otherwise I avoid talking with them off the forums. I used to have an email which was publicly available but I recently deactivated it as I was putting myself in harms way for fucking nothing. yehuborim love to send you curses in the form of images that activate as soon as you see them, HPHC talked about this shit when discussing moderation of posts and the awful shit that goes through the approval process on the website, my heart goes out to my brothers and sisters who do that, one day I would like to be a moderator, once I am able to clean myself and protect myself efficiently.

Be very careful with what you share, you can very easily share something which seems innocent and safe, but when compared with other data it's very easy to find out who you are. Here is a presentation from defcon22(defcon 2014) which discusses correlation data really well and how it's been used to de-anonymize people in the past. Dropping Docs On Darknets. How People Got Caught.

OH SHIT, WHILE WORKING ON THIS POST I FOUND THE POST WHICH HPHC TALKED ABOUT TENDING TO YOUR OWN GARDEN! Be sure to read this, it is deeply insightful.

On Relations Between Spiritual Zevists

I'm glad this conversation is so insightful for you. I merely wanted to share my perspective with someone, so it's nice to talk to someone who is so interested.

Although to be honest, I'm a bit on edge after remembering that last bit. That time was truly awful. I really lost myself. Although I suppose I'm not the only one. Not like that makes it better though.

Let's both be careful so that we'll never fall into such mistakes again. Such setbacks are truly awful.

I agree with you there, let us avoid such foolishness in the future.

I don't know if it's okay to say all of this on here, but I don't have another way to contact you. I was wrong about you not knowing me, although I don't know if you remember me.
I have to apologise to you properly, and I have to thank you properly for what you did.

I knew the jew you mentioned. He told me over the phone that he had jewish genetics but wanted to be a Zevist despite that; he wanted me to know that for a reason I'd rather not remember. But it only takes a single glance at all the harm he's done to other Zevism in the past to see how full of shit he was. I tried telling others, but I feel like they didn't believe me. I could tell based on what other people told me that for years, he had somehow managed to make his energy appear almost just like a human's to others. I fell for it as well.

That piece of shit manipulated my protective instincts to get me to attack you once, using abilities I didn't even know I had as I was controlled by rage.
I did not understand well at first how my abilities worked, and thought you might die after what I did to you, even if it was only for 10 minutes. And yet you're here, safe, free from the mistakes of your past, and a proper Zevism.
I knew back then that nothing I could've said to you would have convinced you to change your ways. Even though I was still so new to all of this, I could see how horribly you had lost your way. When I saw your first post on these forums a few months ago, I thought there was no way it was really you despite the resemblance, because I thought your mind had been corrupted beyond any salvation by something or someone that was influencing you. And yet, here you are.

As someone who had lost my way as well, I sincerely want to congratulate you for being here. And I hope that you can forgive me for what I did. I don't know to what extent my actions or those of others affected you, but I hope that in a way it acted as a slap on the wrist to get you to reconsider your life decisions. I'm just glad you're fine now. It was heart-breaking for me to see that someone with the potential to be a good Zevist had let himself go like that just because of wishful thinking. I fully understand now where you're coming from with that talk about ignorance. I'll be extra careful to remain objective and unbiased.

Furthermore, I want to thank you. What you did caused that jew to become so frantic and busy trying to protect his own ass that he abandoned all his plans and all the people that he had deceived. Because he was no longer there to control me, I was able to free myself from his brainwashing before the damage was irreversible, and make a full recovery. After that, what I did to him was about 90 times worse than what I did to you. And yet, what you did may still have gone beyond what I would've been able to do with just spiritual means.
However that Yehubor scumbag is doing these days, it can't be good. For that, I am extremely grateful to you. Thank you so much.

I'm sorry if bringing this up makes you uncomfortable. But the fact that you're here makes me feel less alone. For a long time now I've felt like no one but the Gods would really understand what I went through back then; and yet, you might. So, thank you for realising your mistakes and becoming a proper Zevism again. Thank you for being here. I know you're here for your own sake, but it means a lot to me.

Haha, once again I believe you have me confused with another person. It may just be that my energy is very similar to that of another person. I have never been in any serious relationships with someone who was a different race from myself after joining Zevism. I have made occasional mistakes such as liking someone of a different race, being attracted to the properties of my own race within them but that attraction has always dissipated within a day after I realized what I was doing.

The person I allowed myself to de-advance for was also of my own race. I am sure that you were relieved to find someone you thought you knew on the forums, however, it would be wrong of me to run with that confusion you have of me. I have been on the old forums and the new forums for a long time, I have just changed accounts as I didn't want to become an influential member of the community and a new person seeing one of my older posts and getting hurt from it, the reason I have abandoned many accounts is because I have simply gone through different stages of enlightenment and don't want someone to see the truth of my recent posts and as a result, get hurt by assuming my old posts contain truth.

So, once again, I am sorry that you are confused, however, I am not the person you think I am

 

[Alt123]

Emotions are amazing for expressing ones passion and feelings about a topic. I have no issue with that, what I meant was that I don't like people to value emotion over logic, or logic over emotion, they need to be equal and people who don't have this balance, especially in regards to emotion ruling their decision making, are often worthless to talk to.

If you explode in emotions over a topic you are passionate about but quickly gain control then that can be fine in some situations. But even then in 99% of situations that would completely ruin any conversation. There are only two times I could see explosions of emotion being okay.

1. is if the person you are conversing with was genuinely interested in hearing what you had to say, or was someone close to you, there would have to be some kind of emotional connection.

2. If you are talking about a topic you agree on and aren't arguing about, for instance, I explode with emotion speaking on the beauty of life and how much I love life on this planet. I also explode with emotion and venom when speaking about the jew. However I only talk about the enemy to those who are aware. Zevism or those I am trying to deprogram enough to learn from ToZ.

In my own experience, when someone is prone to letting emotion take over them they lack the ability to think logically, when one is prone to letting logic take over them they lack the ability to think emotionally. Both are just as detrimental to each other.

Maybe I'm a bit too lenient with people exploding emotionally in a negative way. I guess it's just that I got used to it? I'm more interested in having a serious discussion than reacting to things at face value, so I usually just reply to the underlying feelings rather than the ugly way in which they were expelled and put into words when it happens.

I agree that a balance between emotions and logic is very important. My logic and feelings were often at odds with each other throughout my life, but it's gotten better over time. I feel like meditation helped a lot with that as well, and I'm a lot happier and calmer because of it.

I'm well aware of how it works, sorry for not being clearer about my point. What I changed back then is something along the lines of my self-image, as well as how I appear to people who connect to my mind.
My point was that at the time my confusion led me to try and change my physical appearance in this life, I didn't remember yet that I could change my sex back mentally/astrally. But by the time I realised, I also began to remember why I did it. It was never my intention to leave it at just a mental/astral transformation. From the start, my intention was to become a woman, but I thought I would not be more than a ghost anymore after I died (I was starving, and I did not know about reincarnation at the time), so that was what I focused on. Now that I have a physical body again, and remember my full intentions, I know how I wish to proceed.

As for whether I am male or female, who cares? I know what I want to be in the future, but anyone is free to form their own opinion about my current state based on whatever reasoning they like. Rather than pondering what category I might fall into right now, I'd rather just work towards a future where it's not so ambiguous anymore.

figure of the past I see, thank you for explaining. In regards to your first point I have nothing to say, you have your own reasoning and I respect that, it is not my place to interfere with that after all, responsibility to the responsible and all that.

Also, you should care about who you are, you do actually care as you are using the present to create the future you desire, this is something I strive for myself, the past is written in stone, it is for learning, the future is yet to be written, it is for setting a goal, the present is for living, you can undo the mistakes of your past and create a future you desire through action in the present.

You're right, I actually do care very much what I am. I only said that because I get tired of people focusing on that point.
I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I strongly disagree with some people's mentality of pressuring others into using specific pronouns to address them. The present and future I always wanted is one where others will see for themselves that I'm a woman, and that is what I have worked towards for the past 8 years in many different ways.

And... my efforts paid off. It took me a long time to realise just how much they paid off. Even though my partner has been telling me that I look like a woman for years, and my mom said I looked really natural and feminine when I was in the hot spring with her and that it was a healing experience for her to see that I "made the right choice after all", and my brother's girlfriend even went as far as to say she envied my figure as she complained about her insecurities, I thought they were all just trying to be nice, even though they seemed genuine. I thought maybe they just weren't looking right. Honestly, I just couldn't believe it for some reason.
But then when I happened to see my reflection the other day before getting into the shower, it finally hit me how I actually look.

It was the same with my voice as well. For years I felt like no matter what I did, I just sounded weird; it made me feel rather hopeless. But then after a few years I just suddenly noticed one day, like, "wait... I sound fine?"
Before I even realised it, my vocal range had gone from less than 2 octaves to more than 4 octaves. I didn't even take any lessons for it, I just kept trying to somehow sound the way I wanted to and eventually I just did, effortlessly.

I always thought it seemed very pointless to debate whether I am male or female, especially over the internet. I'll illustrate why:

1. "You're not a woman because you were born male."

1.a. "Why does that mean I'm not a woman?" "Because you can't change your sex." "Why can't I? I've already changed so much." "No matter how you change your appearance, it's still in your Soul and genes." "So if I change those, I can be a woman?" "You can't change those." "Why not? Gene altering technology is already being developed and there's a lot that can be done with magick." "They're not meant to be used for those things." "Does that mean I can't?" "You wouldn't succeed anyway even if you tried." "Your opinion doesn't mean I can't try."

1.b. "I was always a girl/woman on the inside."
1.b.i "No you weren't, that's just a delusion." "Then why is my astral body the way it is?" "You said yourself that it's because of magick you used in past life." "That could be a delusion too." "If it's all just delusions, then what's your point?" "I just feel like I am one." "Facts don't care about your feelings." "My feelings don't care about your facts."
1.b.ii. "Sex is only physical." "Physically I have traits of both sexes." "Only because you fucked up your body by taking hormones." "And now I look like a woman." "Even if that were true which I can't believe, it doesn't change your primary sex characteristics. You don't have a vagina or a womb." "So are you saying that women stop being women if they have a hysterectomy?" "They're women because they were born women." "That's the point we were debating in the first place, and therefore circular logic." "You're supposed to understand it in the first place, you moron." "The one who says moron is the moron!"

1.c. "Most people would think otherwise if they saw me."
1.c.i. "That's just because they don't know better." "I know people who think I'm a woman even though they know I was born physically male." "Then they're delusional." "Who are you to judge that?" "I'm just stating facts." "Why are they facts?" "It's just nature." "The natural androgyny that exists within humans is what let me change my appearance in the first place." "That wouldn't have happened naturally without your intervention." "Yes, but I did intervene and therefore it happened." "You shouldn't have." "I'm glad I did."
1.c.ii. "No they wouldn't, I bet you look like a troglodyte." "I don't, but I bet you do." "What? That's rude." "I'm sorry."

I think no matter how the conversation went, it would just devolve into nonsense sooner or later. I have nothing to gain from it as far as I can tell, and it would be a waste of other people's time as well.
While I do care what I am for various reasons, what other people think I am is less important to me than if they're nice to me or not. With people on the internet, it matters even less because they don't even know me. That's why I said "who cares".

Worry not about being pedantic, many would call me pedantic in certain areas of life as well.

Also, worry is something very bad to have, something my guardian told me once was "Worrying will be your detriment" as a powerful mind and soul attracts what it dwells on. I believe the same to be true for any Zevism. I was once at a point where just focusing on something intensely I would feel a little "click" in my mind and then it would happen, money, no problem, relationships, no problem, sex, no problem, it was really crazy, it was during these times that my guardian told me this.

Fortunately, I was able to tell when I was making something happen, there was a certain thing which would happen before the "click" in my mind. I almost put myself in prison and had really awful shit happen to me due to me being unable to control my worry. It was a living nightmare, being able to make things happen with the power of my mind but also not being able to control my own worry to the point I almost destroyed my life.

I have long since devolved from that point of advancement due to the reasons I spoke of earlier. I am working to get back to it and eventually surpass it, the reason I am sharing this with you is because I don't want you to let worry become your enemy like it was mine.

I went through something kind of similar as well despite being so new. Ever since I realised it, I've been focusing on training my control over my mind far more than just my power. At first I did the opposite, and it got really out of hand in the most bizarre ways.
Fortunately I haven't had any accidents like that anymore recently, so I think my efforts paid off.

There is no need to thank me, in fact I am glad to have helped you reach out to your GD and seek said answers. All of my brothers and sisters are dear to me, we may have differing opinions on things but I love each of my family very deeply and would never want them to make a decision out of ignorance, especially one like this.

I am glad that you were able to get the knowledge you needed Also, worry not about sharing any answers you received from the Gods. Those answers are for you and you alone, what you said is exactly right Your interaction with your GD is exclusively yours, never share anything you don't desire to, that you feel will hurt someone, or that the Gods told you was for you only, anyone who wants you to reveal such information is no friend of yours to become with.

Thank you for your warm words. Although I know you enjoy saying them, so perhaps by your logic I'm not allowed to thank you?
Maybe I'm just overthinking it. :lol:
I can't help it, I enjoy thanking good people!

I'm not sure if I'd be able to trust a stranger, so I might consider using my own divination to try and foresee which button has the best chance of working in my favor. However, if you could prove to me that you are trustworthy, or it was someone I already trust that told me, then I would nervously press button 13 and hope that it was the right choice. It sounds like a terrifying situation, although I suppose it's supposed to be a metaphor and I'm taking it too literally?

It is a metaphor you are taking too literally as you supposed. :lol: The point I was making is that it is important to have knowledge, in the future I will specify a set of rules, one of which being that I will always be 100% truthful in the given scenario.

It's a bit silly, I tend to understand what people mean with their metaphors, but when I'm asked to reply to them I reply to them literally. So my understanding itself isn't literal, but the way I speak and write is, and it makes it seem like I don't understand. I'm not really sure why I do that, honestly. :lol:

Perhaps it's just habit because I used to debate with people who were really obnoxious about how you reply to them. The moment I paraphrased anything, they'd lash out and say "but I never said that!" even though it was basically the same thing.
Then I'd have to reply to them again, this time taking their words completely literally to the letter so they couldn't use that excuse. To save time I just started replying to people literally to begin with. That's probably it. But I understand a lot more than I let on! I actually understood what you meant in the first place, but because you didn't include the truthfulness rule, my habit forced me to play dumb.

Be very careful with what you share, you can very easily share something which seems innocent and safe, but when compared with other data it's very easy to find out who you are. Here is a presentation from defcon22(defcon 2014) which discusses correlation data really well and how it's been used to de-anonymize people in the past. Dropping Docs On Darknets. How People Got Caught.

I would be, but there are some things I just really needed to get off my chest, and this is the safest place to do it where someone might actually understand. I'm sorry for taking a risk just for that sake. It's just hard to stay calm and collected sometimes when I think about the things that happened.

OH SHIT, WHILE WORKING ON THIS POST I FOUND THE POST WHICH HPHC TALKED ABOUT TENDING TO YOUR OWN GARDEN! Be sure to read this, it is deeply insightful.

On Relations Between Spiritual Zevists

Thank you for sharing that sermon, I've actually read it before as well... after I got out of that mess. A bit late, I know.

Haha, once again I believe you have me confused with another person. It may just be that my energy is very similar to that of another person. I have never been in any serious relationships with someone who was a different race from myself after joining Zevism. I have made occasional mistakes such as liking someone of a different race, being attracted to the properties of my own race within them but that attraction has always dissipated within a day after I realized what I was doing.

The person I allowed myself to de-advance for was also of my own race. I am sure that you were relieved to find someone you thought you knew on the forums, however, it would be wrong of me to run with that confusion you have of me. I have been on the old forums and the new forums for a long time, I have just changed accounts as I didn't want to become an influential member of the community and a new person seeing one of my older posts and getting hurt from it, the reason I have abandoned many accounts is because I have simply gone through different stages of enlightenment and don't want someone to see the truth of my recent posts and as a result, get hurt by assuming my old posts contain truth.

So, once again, I am sorry that you are confused, however, I am not the person you think I am

figure of the past, I just remembered the trans fiancé that guy had for 2 years was someone else... Yeah, that delusional freak was indeed the same race. I never met them but the things I heard... Damn. I should probably keep it to myself.
I realise I had gotten some things mixed up. It's because the evidence my friends collected back then kind of framed him for more than he actually did, but now that you mention it, that person did not actually date the mixed race person, only try to cheer them up and this was taken out of context to make it look like he was hitting on them. That mixed race person has never been interested in a relationship with anyone anyway.
Anyway, it's good that it's all just a coincidence! I realised after I submitted my posts that if it hadn't been, then the things I said would've been so incredibly tactless and could cause problems for you. I was just really surprised at first so I blabbered too much without thinking, I'll try not to do it again.

Being reminded of that person and seeing that he possibly came out on top of that situation helped me move on more. What I went through was a tragedy. Some good things came out of it when you look at the bigger picture, and somehow I was able to fully recover myself, but several others were really deeply affected by what happened. I wonder if the feeling I have is something like... survivor's guilt? I went through the most horrible things out of anyone that was involved, yet I'm doing better than ever less than a year later. It feels so strange when I know there are others that weren't even as deeply involved as I was, yet fell into depression and addiction and stopped meditating because of what that jew did to them. Yet I out of all people am still here, never having smoked or used drugs, always having meditated consistently, and the happiest and strongest I've ever been. It just feels so strange, you know?
To hear that someone I would never have expected it from found his way back here made me really happy. And even if you aren't that person, it still makes me happy. So thank you for being here. And regardless of whether or not he read it, I was able to apologise to and thank the person who indirectly saved me. Whether or not you acted as a substitute to receive my apology and gratitude doesn't matter to me anymore at this point, because it helped me process things either way.

It would be nice if I could contact him directly and ask how he is doing, but he doesn't seem to use his discord account from back then anymore. Oh well, it's safer here on the forums anyway.

 

[Artisan]

I've been thinking and thinking so much that I forgot to look all this time. And yet, with a single look at my reflection, it all just makes sense now. Suddenly, all the answers I've been looking for all these years just came to me.

I can't thank my Guardian enough. This always happens when I ask Her to help me understand something and listen to Her. I come to understand things that never even came to mind before.

I really thought about these things for far too long. The things I wrote down so far were the conclusionless logic I formed over thousands of hours in an attempt to understand it all. But now that I really do understand it, all these words have lost their meaning to me, if they ever had any meaning in the first place.
I'm glad that I was able to put it all into words. I'm glad that I was able to share it so that others will read it. Then people will know what I went through.

I'm going to move on from this topic now. Thank you to everyone who replied to me, for giving me a reason to write. Thank you to everyone who read it.
And thank you especially, Artisan. You've become a better person, and you've helped me so much, even if it was indirectly.

Ave Zeus! Hail all the Gods of Humanity! And Hail my Guardian and the others who have helped me, especially!

Well I wish you luck on your Zevist path. May we talk again one day, perhaps we will become associates on your non-alt account, who knows.

Haha, I must stress to you once more that I am not the person you think I am but I believe you have realized that by now. Goodbye

Ave Zeus!

 

[Alt123]

I've been thinking and thinking so much that I forgot to look all this time. And yet, with a single look at my reflection, it all just makes sense now. Suddenly, all the answers I've been looking for all these years just came to me.

I can't thank my Guardian enough. This always happens when I ask Her to help me understand something and listen to Her. I come to understand things that never even came to mind before.

I really thought about these things for far too long. The things I wrote down so far were the conclusionless logic I formed over thousands of hours in an attempt to understand it all. But now that I really do understand it, all these words have lost their meaning to me, if they ever had any meaning in the first place.
I'm glad that I was able to put it all into words. I'm glad that I was able to share it so that others will read it. Then people will know what I went through.

I'm going to move on from this topic now. Thank you to everyone who replied to me, for giving me a reason to write. Thank you to everyone who read it.
And thank you especially, Artisan. You've become a better person, and you've helped me so much, even if it was indirectly.

Ave Zeus! Hail all the Gods of Humanity! And Hail my Guardian and the others who have helped me, especially!

Well I wish you luck on your Zevist path. May we talk again one day, perhaps we will become associates on your non-alt account, who knows.

Haha, I must stress to you once more that I am not the person you think I am but I believe you have realized that by now. Goodbye

Ave Zeus!

Although I found my own answers regarding the main topic of the thread, I'm still a bit curious about the similarities here, so I hope you don't mind if I stick around a little bit longer to chat with you specifically here.

Does it sound familiar to you if I said that a certain individual used to complain about ToZ having an "incel problem", while they themselves used to be a member of a forum for incels?

If you don't want to answer you don't have to. I'm just curious about the extent of the similarities.

 

[Artisan]

Maybe I'm a bit too lenient with people exploding emotionally in a negative way. I guess it's just that I got used to it? I'm more interested in having a serious discussion than reacting to things at face value, so I usually just reply to the underlying feelings rather than the ugly way in which they were expelled and put into words when it happens.

I agree that a balance between emotions and logic is very important. My logic and feelings were often at odds with each other throughout my life, but it's gotten better over time. I feel like meditation helped a lot with that as well, and I'm a lot happier and calmer because of it.

In regards to this point I believe we are at an impasse.

In a discussion I believe it imperative to make your thoughts easily digestible to the other party. The way you worded your response implies that I enjoy reacting to things at face value. However, it is foolish to assume that others will understand anything other than the face value of what you say. Not everyone has the psychic ability we do here and it's unfair to yourself to act in a way where you allow others to explode on you emotionally just because you can understand the emotions underneath their outburst.

I am not interested in reacting to things at face value, instead I follow the motto "Treat others how you wish to be treated, and, treat others how they treat others". As such, I try my best to make my points very coherent and easily digestible to the person I am talking to, if one allows their internal state to dictate the flow of conversation instead of reacting in a calm and concise manner it is because they are more interested in expressing how they feel about the topic instead of actually discussing it.

As such, I will treat them as I would like to be treated in such a situation, if I was ever unable to have a conversation without allowing my internal state to control the conversation, then please, simply walk away from me, as I will not be reacting with a sense of balance but a sense of logic or emotion. I will say that I will walk away as long as they do not try to pursue me, if they refuse to let go of the conversation then I will make them regret hounding me on the topic.

In certain situations it is acceptable to let your emotions/logic dictate the conversation, the only two examples I could think of were the two I listed.

You're right, I actually do care very much what I am. I only said that because I get tired of people focusing on that point.
I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I strongly disagree with some people's mentality of pressuring others into using specific pronouns to address them. The present and future I always wanted is one where others will see for themselves that I'm a woman, and that is what I have worked towards for the past 8 years in many different ways.

And... my efforts paid off. It took me a long time to realise just how much they paid off. Even though my partner has been telling me that I look like a woman for years, and my mom said I looked really natural and feminine when I was in the hot spring with her and that it was a healing experience for her to see that I "made the right choice after all", and my brother's girlfriend even went as far as to say she envied my figure as she complained about her insecurities, I thought they were all just trying to be nice, even though they seemed genuine. I thought maybe they just weren't looking right. Honestly, I just couldn't believe it for some reason.
But then when I happened to see my reflection the other day before getting into the shower, it finally hit me how I actually look.

It was the same with my voice as well. For years I felt like no matter what I did, I just sounded weird; it made me feel rather hopeless. But then after a few years I just suddenly noticed one day, like, "wait... I sound fine?"
Before I even realised it, my vocal range had gone from less than 2 octaves to more than 4 octaves. I didn't even take any lessons for it, I just kept trying to somehow sound the way I wanted to and eventually I just did, effortlessly.

I always thought it seemed very pointless to debate whether I am male or female, especially over the internet. I'll illustrate why:

1. "You're not a woman because you were born male."

1.a. "Why does that mean I'm not a woman?" "Because you can't change your sex." "Why can't I? I've already changed so much." "No matter how you change your appearance, it's still in your Soul and genes." "So if I change those, I can be a woman?" "You can't change those." "Why not? Gene altering technology is already being developed and there's a lot that can be done with magick." "They're not meant to be used for those things." "Does that mean I can't?" "You wouldn't succeed anyway even if you tried." "Your opinion doesn't mean I can't try."

1.b. "I was always a girl/woman on the inside."
1.b.i "No you weren't, that's just a delusion." "Then why is my astral body the way it is?" "You said yourself that it's because of magick you used in past life." "That could be a delusion too." "If it's all just delusions, then what's your point?" "I just feel like I am one." "Facts don't care about your feelings." "My feelings don't care about your facts."
1.b.ii. "Sex is only physical." "Physically I have traits of both sexes." "Only because you fucked up your body by taking hormones." "And now I look like a woman." "Even if that were true which I can't believe, it doesn't change your primary sex characteristics. You don't have a vagina or a womb." "So are you saying that women stop being women if they have a hysterectomy?" "They're women because they were born women." "That's the point we were debating in the first place, and therefore circular logic." "You're supposed to understand it in the first place, you moron." "The one who says moron is the moron!"

1.c. "Most people would think otherwise if they saw me."
1.c.i. "That's just because they don't know better." "I know people who think I'm a woman even though they know I was born physically male." "Then they're delusional." "Who are you to judge that?" "I'm just stating facts." "Why are they facts?" "It's just nature." "The natural androgyny that exists within humans is what let me change my appearance in the first place." "That wouldn't have happened naturally without your intervention." "Yes, but I did intervene and therefore it happened." "You shouldn't have." "I'm glad I did."
1.c.ii. "No they wouldn't, I bet you look like a troglodyte." "I don't, but I bet you do." "What? That's rude." "I'm sorry."

I think no matter how the conversation went, it would just devolve into nonsense sooner or later. I have nothing to gain from it as far as I can tell, and it would be a waste of other people's time as well.
While I do care what I am for various reasons, what other people think I am is less important to me than if they're nice to me or not. With people on the internet, it matters even less because they don't even know me. That's why I said "who cares".

In regards to this, you are putting the perspective of others above your own self worth and allowing what others think and say influence you. You want to live in a world where others see you as a woman. Why does it matter what others think? If you know within yourself that you are a woman then it shouldn't matter what others think or say.

All happiness, Sadness, Anger, Hatred, Love, Emotions, which are truly your own come from your and rely on nothing from the exterior. My happiness relies on nothing but itself, even if I had nothing, if I was without food, water, or anything, I would always be happy, even if I was suffering, or being tortured, nothing could ever stop me from being happy. Don't get me wrong, I would still be sad and miserable in some instances, however, even while feeling this misery I would still be happy. If for nothing else, happy that I am able to feel such misery, that I am a human being, able to feel emotions. That is because my happiness comes from within myself, it is internal, not external. Emotions which rely on the external are not your own, if for no reason else, then for the sheer fact that the external has NOTHING to do with you. The only person you can TRULY control, the only person you can TRULY change, the only person that has anything to do with YOU, is YOURSELF.

Stop giving a shit what others think. You will only lead yourself down a hole, searching for an exit, only to find yourself deeper and deeper, until you can never return to the surface.

You say

While I do care what I am for various reasons, what other people think I am is less important to me than if they're nice to me or not. With people on the internet, it matters even less because they don't even know me. That's why I said "who cares".

But this is not true at all. You are putting the perspective of others so much higher than your own perspective. You say that debating on the internet is useless yet you still seek external gratification from those in your life. How are these any different? You may think they are different but they are one in the same. Just because someone sees you physically and another sees a computer screen, it doesn't mean that either interaction is any more "real" than the other. This is the same argument that idiots use when telling emotionally scarred and damaged people to "suck it up". Just because they can't see the mind, it doesn't hold as much value to them as the physical.

Everyone you interact with, online, in person, over the phone, any form of communication or anyone you focus your attention on, your astral body mingles with their astral body. This is the reason you can "feel" others energy, it is because you are interacting with their energy by directing your attention on them. In the same stance, all interactions, physical, mental, or spiritual, all hold the same significance, they are all equally real, and all equally as important. If you truly believe that something isn't worth caring about because it happens online and isn't "physical" then the only thing you are doing is discrediting that which you cannot see and touch. It is no better than the idiots I mentioned previously.

I went through something kind of similar as well despite being so new. Ever since I realised it, I've been focusing on training my control over my mind far more than just my power. At first I did the opposite, and it got really out of hand in the most bizarre ways.
Fortunately I haven't had any accidents like that anymore recently, so I think my efforts paid off.

It is good that you have achieved a high level of control over your mind, however, make sure you are never satisfied with staying where you are. The path of advancement is infinite, do not let your current accomplishments go un-noticed and un-rewarded, on the other hand, do not let your current accomplishments stop you from achieving even greater things.

Thank you for your warm words. Although I know you enjoy saying them, so perhaps by your logic I'm not allowed to thank you?
Maybe I'm just overthinking it. :lol:
I can't help it, I enjoy thanking good people!

You can thank me if you want, just know I do not accept it, everything I have sent here born from a desire to help you, which is born from a desire to help others. When I help others, when others improve themselves from my advice it makes ME feel good. My insight and knowledge may be of benefit to you, however, I am not doing it for you, I am doing it for myself, you are merely a someone who benefits from my desire to help others.

It's a bit silly, I tend to understand what people mean with their metaphors, but when I'm asked to reply to them I reply to them literally. So my understanding itself isn't literal, but the way I speak and write is, and it makes it seem like I don't understand. I'm not really sure why I do that, honestly. :lol:

Perhaps it's just habit because I used to debate with people who were really obnoxious about how you reply to them. The moment I paraphrased anything, they'd lash out and say "but I never said that!" even though it was basically the same thing.
Then I'd have to reply to them again, this time taking their words completely literally to the letter so they couldn't use that excuse. To save time I just started replying to people literally to begin with. That's probably it. But I understand a lot more than I let on! I actually understood what you meant in the first place, but because you didn't include the truthfulness rule, my habit forced me to play dumb.

Again, words of ignorance, "I'm not sure why" and "Perhaps" and "probably".

When interacting with others, you have to assume things, however, when interacting with yourself, it isn't okay to have ignorance. You shouldn't be satisfied with your answer. This tendency of yours is belongs to you. As such, it shouldn't be something you allow ignorance to exist around.

In regards to things which don't revolve around you, in example, the Gods civilizations, how alien technology works, how many other planets does Satan have, what others think, what others feel. It is completely acceptable to have ignorance. These things may be related or connected to you but they don't revolve around you. The things which revolve around you are YOUR mental body(Mind, emotions, thoughts, etc.), YOUR physical body(I hope I don't need to explain this one), and YOUR spiritual body(The soul, Chakras, Nadis, etc.). These are the three things which you should NEVER be okay with ignorance around. Everything else, it's your choice, but these things, NEVER. There is only one thing in existence which you can TRULY understand to the greatest depths and TRULY control. That thing is YOU and nothing else. As such, STOP accepting ignorance about things which revolve around you(A.K.A your physical, mental, and spiritual bodies).

I would be, but there are some things I just really needed to get off my chest, and this is the safest place to do it where someone might actually understand. I'm sorry for taking a risk just for that sake. It's just hard to stay calm and collected sometimes when I think about the things that happened.

I am someone who does not take risks which do not have a worthy reward. I consider helping a brother or sister a risk worth taking, as such, I will allow you my email if you wish to email me, please do be aware of the following.
1. The email I use is by no means secure or encrypted by default, anything you send me can be read by the creator of the email, there are safe forms of communication, if you would like I can give you my public PGP key and we can send encrypted email back and forth to eliminate such risk, do know I will not send anything which could be used to identify my real world identity.
2. I do not trust you, you are a stranger on the internet, add that onto the fact that you are a stranger on the internet which is on a forum centered around the truth of not only life on earth but of the universe itself, add that onto the fact that there are many, MANY, beings who want every single member of this forum to die and you will understand my mistrust.
3. I will not communicate on anything other than email with you unless you are proven trustworthy, as I said I only communicate with Zevism off the forums which meet two criteria, 1. Ones which I have brought to Zevism and 2. Ones who I trust with my life. I have discareded the 1st criteria for certain brothers and sisters in the past, if you are truly trustworthy, which time will tell, then I may communicate with you on something more direct, for instance, a matrix account made on a tails perssistent session.
4. I may cut communication with you for any reason, our conversation off the forums is strictly at-will and I can be terminated for any reason whatsoever, I will say that I won't do this without a good reason, so if I stop emailing you out of the blue it is more likely that my account has been compromised or that the enemy is fucking with technology, any Zevism who has communicated the truth online has experienced their dirty little tricks with power and internet outages, fucked up connections, disappearing interet tabs, among other things.

Those points stated, you can email me at Artisan@figure of the past.rocks if there is something you wish to discuss anything with me but prefer not to put it on the forums. Please do provide me some sort of identifying information such as the first and last character of your email so that I may identify it amongst any spam or infultrator/enemy emails.

Thank you for sharing that sermon, I've actually read it before as well... after I got out of that mess. A bit late, I know.

Beautiful sermon isn't it?

figure of the past, I just remembered the trans fiancé that guy had for 2 years was someone else... Yeah, that delusional freak was indeed the same race. I never met them but the things I heard... Damn. I should probably keep it to myself.
I realise I had gotten some things mixed up. It's because the evidence my friends collected back then kind of framed him for more than he actually did, but now that you mention it, that person did not actually date the mixed race person, only try to cheer them up and this was taken out of context to make it look like he was hitting on them. That mixed race person has never been interested in a relationship with anyone anyway.
Anyway, it's good that it's all just a coincidence! I realised after I submitted my posts that if it hadn't been, then the things I said would've been so incredibly tactless and could cause problems for you. I was just really surprised at first so I blabbered too much without thinking, I'll try not to do it again.

Being reminded of that person and seeing that he possibly came out on top of that situation helped me move on more. What I went through was a tragedy. Some good things came out of it when you look at the bigger picture, and somehow I was able to fully recover myself, but several others were really deeply affected by what happened. I wonder if the feeling I have is something like... survivor's guilt? I went through the most horrible things out of anyone that was involved, yet I'm doing better than ever less than a year later. It feels so strange when I know there are others that weren't even as deeply involved as I was, yet fell into depression and addiction and stopped meditating because of what that jew did to them. Yet I out of all people am still here, never having smoked or used drugs, always having meditated consistently, and the happiest and strongest I've ever been. It just feels so strange, you know?
To hear that someone I would never have expected it from found his way back here made me really happy. And even if you aren't that person, it still makes me happy. So thank you for being here. And regardless of whether or not he read it, I was able to apologise to and thank the person who indirectly saved me. Whether or not you acted as a substitute to receive my apology and gratitude doesn't matter to me anymore at this point, because it helped me process things either way.

It would be nice if I could contact him directly and ask how he is doing, but he doesn't seem to use his discord account from back then anymore. Oh well, it's safer here on the forums anyway.

People are not always as they seem, that ex fiance of mine has become more and more awful since my leaving of them, killing animals, spouting jewish filth, all while still vehemently claiming to be a Zevist, one who wants to "heal and not fight", never meditations, refuses to even return the curses placed on their soul by the Yehubor, and sits around being fat, lazy, and indulgent all while raising multiple animals and killing them all from improper care.

Literally spouts bullshit about anyone who has pedophillic thoughts deserving to be murdered. I remember I comfronted them about this many months ago and asked "if these pedophillic thoughts were caused by someone being raped as a child, or as a result of enemy curses, do they still deserve death?" Can you guess what their answer was? I will tell you that my belief is that all of humanity should be allowed to be healed.

I believe that people shouldn't be prosecuted for "thought crimes" but should be allowed to be healed, OBVIOUSLY when one harms an actual child, there are dues which must be paid, justice must be present, but when someone has uncontrolled thoughts and nothing more, they should be able to get the help they desperately need. My ex-fiances viewpoints are VERY different from mine.

There is much more that I could go into, but I have already ranted on that enough.

The point is, sometimes it is better to leave shit be and not try to help others, some people are a lost cause, it's completely acceptable to have ignorance about others as I said, just make sure you NEVER have ignorance about yourself and the things which revolve around you.

 

[Artisan]

There is something I would very much like to confirm with you. About the man who had a trans ex-fiance for two years. You said you never talked to him directly correct?

Did you by chance talk to his ex-fiance and heard things about him from the mouth of his ex-fiance(the trans individual)?

If so, are the following things true about this ex-fiance(the trans individual)?
1. They live/lived in a abusive household with a very abusive brother.
2. They are an age regressor.
3. They are an artist.
4. They are sjw-like?

The reason I ask this is because some of the things you said struck a cord with me, however, some things made no sense, but, now I understand that it was just your wording of things. I thought that the ex-fiance was race mixed, I didn't fully comprehend the situations.

If I really am the person you originally thought I was then it appears you were fed some pretty nasty lies about me, and as a result acted in retaliation against me to try and defend someone close to you. If this is the case, and I am that person, then I harbor no ill will towards you from your actions.

I cannot blame someone for acting out of the goodness of their heart, in the same way that Satan, a good father to us, does not turn his back on children who are foolish, manipulated, or ignorant, but stretches his hand out so that we may grasp it. I try to live by his example. If the greatest being in the universe does not blame people for acting out of ignorance, who would I be I to do that?

I really hope that this isn't the case however :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I would hate to know that one of my brothers or sisters was manipulated by my ex-fiance. If so, then I deeply apologize to you, the blame rests upon my shoulders, I am the one who chose to stay to be with them even after Satan told me I wasn't ready. I have suffered the consequences of that action through my de-advancement, but it would make me truly remorseful to know that my actions harmed someone who had nothing to do with it.

if I am truly this person and it truly was my ex-fiance, then I express the deepest apologies from the depths of my heart. I am truly sorry that you got caught up in my ex-fiances bullshit and attacked me as a result of it. While apologies mean nothing and are only there to make the person who is saying sorry do better, as all we can do is do better in the future, and I have already learned and improved myself, abandoning foolish mistakes of my past, I would like to offer you my apology.

I will tell you though, the things my ex-fiance would say about me to their friends that I was aware of were distortions of reality at best, and bold faced lies at worst. It is not your fault that you got caught up in a scheme by them, I was manipulated by them for years after all, I had no idea that they were doing this to the warriors of Satan. I would have put a fucking stop to it then and there if I had known.

All of the above is assuming I am the person you thought I was, if not, disregard this message :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: As I mentioned in my previous reply(assuming it went through), you can email me at the email Artisan@figure of the past.rocks Please keep the 4 things I mentioned in mind however. My safety is something I give my top priority, you should do the same.

 

[Stormblood]

Why is transgender/abrahamic propaganda of "I am superior to the Gods and the universe, and can do whatever I wanted just because I said so" being allowed to get to this far extent? To show how deeply Neptunian delusions with enemy brainwashing can get?

 

[Artisan]

Not sure if my posts are taking a while to get through or if they were just deleted, if they were denied due to person information or something then I will re-write the posts without such information(I always save a backup of my post until they are approved, that way I can edit stuff out and re-submit them in the chance they are denied).

In the posts I submitted I had my email(the one which used to be in my signature) and said you could email me, as such, I don't think the email was the reason my posts would be denied.

I could also just be being impatient, from my understanding there are three mods, HPHC and two other individuals, but I may be wrong. Anyways, if this one goes through but the others don't then I will edit and re-submit my post without the information which caused it to be denied(if my posts were denied)

Thank you Mods for approving and denying my posts, you are keeping the forum safe and doing the work of Satan, if you have to deny my posts for whatever reason I will not be mad at all, I respect what you are doing and I appreciate your work to keep us, your brothers and sisters, happy, safe, and healthy!

 

[Alt123]

In regards to this point I believe we are at an impasse.

In a discussion I believe it imperative to make your thoughts easily digestible to the other party. The way you worded your response implies that I enjoy reacting to things at face value. However, it is foolish to assume that others will understand anything other than the face value of what you say. Not everyone has the psychic ability we do here and it's unfair to yourself to act in a way where you allow others to explode on you emotionally just because you can understand the emotions underneath their outburst.

I never thought about it like that, and I did not think that you enjoy reacting to things at face value. I just thought that people get distracted by words too much and forget what things are really about sometimes; that's what it really looks to me when people have arguments.
Until now I never realised that for some people words is really all they see. Now I understand more why some people get into such heated arguments that sound to me like they're about nothing.

As for the rest you said, that sounds fair. Personally I find it a bit amusing when someone get all emotional over something irrelevant and struggles with words, but I realise that may be a bit childish of me. When a serious discussion is the aim rather than simply stilling my boredom, there is indeed not much of a point in talking to someone who doesn't take the conversation seriously, as you said.

In regards to this, you are putting the perspective of others above your own self worth and allowing what others think and say influence you. You want to live in a world where others see you as a woman. Why does it matter what others think? If you know within yourself that you are a woman then it shouldn't matter what others think or say.

It used to bother me because I hadn't healed from a certain trauma. That trauma being that since I was 4 years old, everyone around me called me a boy even though that felt so wrong to me. Nobody saw me the way I felt inside, and others had expectations of me that didn't make sense to me. I felt so deeply lonely and misunderstood. But at the same time, they were just saying what they objectively perceived; they weren't at fault. It was my body that caused the misunderstanding. That's how I felt. That's why I started to feel bad about the way I looked to others. For 20 years, it caused me to constantly feel a sense of unrest deep inside. I never felt at peace.

Several days ago when I saw my reflection, I broke out in tears of relief, and it suddenly healed. Since then I've felt such a deep sense of inner peace that I've never felt before my whole life. The things I said in my post were about the way I used to feel. But it all just seems so irrelevant now. So very, very, very irrelevant.
It made me realise that my dream already came true. Any further progress from here on is just a bonus. Things like changing my genes, if it's possible and safe and has benefits, then why not? But if it's not possible or not worth it for me, then why should I do it? Just to argue with people that I'm really a woman? It makes no sense. I should just do what's best for me.
I don't have any misunderstandings anymore with those close to me, and there's no point in arguing about it with those who aren't.

Also, I'm aware that you can get close to people emotionally over the internet; I more specifically meant strangers. I apologise for not phrasing it better.

I went through something kind of similar as well despite being so new. Ever since I realised it, I've been focusing on training my control over my mind far more than just my power. At first I did the opposite, and it got really out of hand in the most bizarre ways.
Fortunately I haven't had any accidents like that anymore recently, so I think my efforts paid off.

It is good that you have achieved a high level of control over your mind, however, make sure you are never satisfied with staying where you are. The path of advancement is infinite, do not let your current accomplishments go un-noticed and un-rewarded, on the other hand, do not let your current accomplishments stop you from achieving even greater things.

It was for the sake of my safety for a long time; I had somehow managed to go so far that it caused damage to my spine, although fortunately it was only temporary.
The past two months I've been working more again on improving my energy levels as well. I feel like I'm finally able to control it better, so I'm trying to keep it balanced now rather than just focusing on one thing. I know some things I've experimented with before will be extremely useful to me when I'm able to put more energy into it without getting tired, so that has always been a motivation for me to keep pushing on and advancing. But the indicents that happened before made me understand just how important it is to pace myself and not to rush into things.

Thank you for your warm words. Although I know you enjoy saying them, so perhaps by your logic I'm not allowed to thank you?
Maybe I'm just overthinking it. :lol:
I can't help it, I enjoy thanking good people!

You can thank me if you want, just know I do not accept it, everything I have sent here born from a desire to help you, which is born from a desire to help others. When I help others, when others improve themselves from my advice it makes ME feel good. My insight and knowledge may be of benefit to you, however, I am not doing it for you, I am doing it for myself, you are merely a someone who benefits from my desire to help others.

The way you say that makes it sound almost like a defence mechanism, although that's your choice. Whatever makes you comfortable.
My views about altruism are similar, that it is ultimately just to satisfy a desire to help others. But I also enjoy thanking others for the same reason, because it makes me feel good. I enjoy letting others know that they are appreciated, because most people are happy when they feel appreciated, so making them feel appreciated makes me feel good. It may be wasted on someone like you who thinks about it so logically, though.

It's a bit silly, I tend to understand what people mean with their metaphors, but when I'm asked to reply to them I reply to them literally. So my understanding itself isn't literal, but the way I speak and write is, and it makes it seem like I don't understand. I'm not really sure why I do that, honestly. :lol:

Perhaps it's just habit because I used to debate with people who were really obnoxious about how you reply to them. The moment I paraphrased anything, they'd lash out and say "but I never said that!" even though it was basically the same thing.
Then I'd have to reply to them again, this time taking their words completely literally to the letter so they couldn't use that excuse. To save time I just started replying to people literally to begin with. That's probably it. But I understand a lot more than I let on! I actually understood what you meant in the first place, but because you didn't include the truthfulness rule, my habit forced me to play dumb.

Again, words of ignorance, "I'm not sure why" and "Perhaps" and "probably".

When interacting with others, you have to assume things, however, when interacting with yourself, it isn't okay to have ignorance. You shouldn't be satisfied with your answer. This tendency of yours is belongs to you. As such, it shouldn't be something you allow ignorance to exist around.

In regards to things which don't revolve around you, in example, the Gods civilizations, how alien technology works, how many other planets does Satan have, what others think, what others feel. It is completely acceptable to have ignorance. These things may be related or connected to you but they don't revolve around you. The things which revolve around you are YOUR mental body(Mind, emotions, thoughts, etc.), YOUR physical body(I hope I don't need to explain this one), and YOUR spiritual body(The soul, Chakras, Nadis, etc.). These are the three things which you should NEVER be okay with ignorance around. Everything else, it's your choice, but these things, NEVER. There is only one thing in existence which you can TRULY understand to the greatest depths and TRULY control. That thing is YOU and nothing else. As such, STOP accepting ignorance about things which revolve around you(A.K.A your physical, mental, and spiritual bodies).

Hey, at least I made an effort to understand it right after I said "I'm not sure why"! And is it really wrong to say "perhaps" and "probably" when I'm just figuring something out and haven't given it enough thought yet to ascertain it?
I'm making progress here in my efforts to understand my behavior, I don't think that's something you need to scold me for.

Maybe it wasn't meant to scold me but just to remind me. In that case, rest assured that I'm always trying to understand myself better when I notice there's something I don't understand, as you can tell from how I immediately tried to think of an explanation after I noticed there was something I didn't understand. Is there something else you think I should do besides that, or did you have an issue with me not thinking about this when I was exhibiting this behavior in the first place?

Beautiful sermon isn't it?

Absolutely

People are not always as they seem, that ex fiance of mine has become more and more awful since my leaving of them, killing animals, spouting jewish filth, all while still vehemently claiming to be a Zevist, one who wants to "heal and not fight", never meditations, refuses to even return the curses placed on their soul by the Yehubor, and sits around being fat, lazy, and indulgent all while raising multiple animals and killing them all from improper care.

Literally spouts bullshit about anyone who has pedophillic thoughts deserving to be murdered. I remember I comfronted them about this many months ago and asked "if these pedophillic thoughts were caused by someone being raped as a child, or as a result of enemy curses, do they still deserve death?" Can you guess what their answer was? I will tell you that my belief is that all of humanity should be allowed to be healed.

I believe that people shouldn't be prosecuted for "thought crimes" but should be allowed to be healed, OBVIOUSLY when one harms an actual child, there are dues which must be paid, justice must be present, but when someone has uncontrolled thoughts and nothing more, they should be able to get the help they desperately need. My ex-fiances viewpoints are VERY different from mine.

There is much more that I could go into, but I have already ranted on that enough.

The point is, sometimes it is better to leave shit be and not try to help others, some people are a lost cause, it's completely acceptable to have ignorance about others as I said, just make sure you NEVER have ignorance about yourself and the things which revolve around you.

I also see people with warped or harmful thoughts as damaged and in need of healing.

I think in some cases someone can be too far gone and should be punished if they pose a danger to others or at least avoided. But to see a damaged person heal and move on from such things is truly a beautiful thing, I think.

As someone who also loves to help others, I can see why you stuck with that person for so long. You really thought you could help them become a better and stronger person, right? It would've been amazing. But they didn't. Deep inside, they didn't want to change. They just wanted to let themselves rot and fall into degeneracy.

It's painful, and as someone who has always been attracted to people with problems because it triggers something within me and makes me want to help them and heal them, I sympathise with you.

Not sure if my posts are taking a while to get through or if they were just deleted, if they were denied due to person information or something then I will re-write the posts without such information(I always save a backup of my post until they are approved, that way I can edit stuff out and re-submit them in the chance they are denied).

In the posts I submitted I had my email(the one which used to be in my signature) and said you could email me, as such, I don't think the email was the reason my posts would be denied.

I could also just be being impatient, from my understanding there are three mods, HPHC and two other individuals, but I may be wrong. Anyways, if this one goes through but the others don't then I will edit and re-submit my post without the information which caused it to be denied(if my posts were denied)

Thank you Mods for approving and denying my posts, you are keeping the forum safe and doing the work of Satan, if you have to deny my posts for whatever reason I will not be mad at all, I respect what you are doing and I appreciate your work to keep us, your brothers and sisters, happy, safe, and healthy!

Moderation in this subforum is a bit slower than in the more popular ones, so sometimes it can take a few days before something gets approved here. I also got a bit worried when it took 3 days for some of my posts in this thread to go through, but then it was approved just fine. If you're in doubt, you can check the date on the latest approved post in this subforum to see when posts last went through.

 

[Artisan]

Why is transgender/abrahamic propaganda of "I am superior to the Gods and the universe, and can do whatever I wanted just because I said so" being allowed to get to this far extent? To show how deeply Neptunian delusions with enemy brainwashing can get?

Responsibility to the responsible, in the end, the only one who has to live with the consequences are the people who's actions decide them. I do not support someone in their desire to harm themselves, the only thing we can do is advise one to seek knowledge for themselves.

Even if you proved to someone with 100% accuracy that their actions are harmful, they will only stop those actions because they want to stop them, nothing any of us say or do can make someone do something they don't want to do, nor can we stop someone from doing what they want to do.

I believe that if you desire to help someone, then do help them in a way they will accept and understand. In regards to the trans individual in the replies of this thread, they have already made up their mind on what they do, nothing we say or do can dissuade them from making whatever choice they want to make, only they can make a choice in the end and only they have to live with the consequences.

 

[Alt123]

I tried to clear up a misunderstanding with my previous post, but I feel like the answer I wrote might just cause more confusion. As I initially thought, the things I saw, felt and understood in those moments, as well as the matters of the past that led up to it, go deeper than I can explain with just words and logic. As such, I apologise for wasting your time by trying to explain it.

I know how pathetic it sounds to say that I was traumatised by something like that. I act tough on the outside, but on the inside I'm just that sensitive. At least being tough saved me a lot when I was younger because it made me too bothersome to target. I apologise to anyone I may have offended by mentioning how much being so alone and emotionally isolated from others affected me.

 

[Artisan]

I never thought about it like that, and I did not think that you enjoy reacting to things at face value. I just thought that people get distracted by words too much and forget what things are really about sometimes; that's what it really looks to me when people have arguments.
Until now I never realised that for some people words is really all they see. Now I understand more why some people get into such heated arguments that sound to me like they're about nothing.

As for the rest you said, that sounds fair. Personally I find it a bit amusing when someone get all emotional over something irrelevant and struggles with words, but I realise that may be a bit childish of me. When a serious discussion is the aim rather than simply stilling my boredom, there is indeed not much of a point in talking to someone who doesn't take the conversation seriously, as you said.

I am glad you understand my viewpoint.

It used to bother me because I hadn't healed from a certain trauma. That trauma being that since I was 4 years old, everyone around me called me a boy even though that felt so wrong to me. Nobody saw me the way I felt inside, and others had expectations of me that didn't make sense to me. I felt so deeply lonely and misunderstood. But at the same time, they were just saying what they objectively perceived; they weren't at fault. It was my body that caused the misunderstanding. That's how I felt. That's why I started to feel bad about the way I looked to others. For 20 years, it caused me to constantly feel a sense of unrest deep inside. I never felt at peace.

Several days ago when I saw my reflection, I broke out in tears of relief, and it suddenly healed. Since then I've felt such a deep sense of inner peace that I've never felt before my whole life. The things I said in my post were about the way I used to feel. But it all just seems so irrelevant now. So very, very, very irrelevant.
It made me realise that my dream already came true. Any further progress from here on is just a bonus. Things like changing my genes, if it's possible and safe and has benefits, then why not? But if it's not possible or not worth it for me, then why should I do it? Just to argue with people that I'm really a woman? It makes no sense. I should just do what's best for me.
I don't have any misunderstandings anymore with those close to me, and there's no point in arguing about it with those who aren't.

Also, I'm aware that you can get close to people emotionally over the internet; I more specifically meant strangers. I apologise for not phrasing it better.

I wasn't speaking on getting close to people emotionally, I was speaking on the fact that all interactions hold the same validity.

It was for the sake of my safety for a long time; I had somehow managed to go so far that it caused damage to my spine, although fortunately it was only temporary.
The past two months I've been working more again on improving my energy levels as well. I feel like I'm finally able to control it better, so I'm trying to keep it balanced now rather than just focusing on one thing. I know some things I've experimented with before will be extremely useful to me when I'm able to put more energy into it without getting tired, so that has always been a motivation for me to keep pushing on and advancing. But the indicents that happened before made me understand just how important it is to pace myself and not to rush into things.

Of course, I am glad you aren't rushing yourself, it is always good to take things at your own pace. I was just reminding you not to be comfortable where you're at, always try to improve, even if you need to take baby steps, as long as you're improving then that's fine. Go at the pace which works best for you.

The way you say that makes it sound almost like a defence mechanism, although that's your choice. Whatever makes you comfortable.
My views about altruism are similar, that it is ultimately just to satisfy a desire to help others. But I also enjoy thanking others for the same reason, because it makes me feel good. I enjoy letting others know that they are appreciated, because most people are happy when they feel appreciated, so making them feel appreciated makes me feel good. It may be wasted on someone like you who thinks about it so logically, though.

I wouldn't say that I think about things logically, more so that I try to apply a balance in my life between the emotional and logical parts of myself, while still staying grounded in reality.

In conversation my input may seem logical because it is realistic and grounded in reality, however, I try to maintain equal logic and equal emotion in my responses.

In my response, I was just letting you know that you can thank me if it makes you feel better but that I don't accept it, the reason being, my view on saying thank you is that it should only be done when someone is doing something specifically for you, and, as I explained, this conversation is for me and not for you.

Hey, at least I made an effort to understand it right after I said "I'm not sure why"! And is it really wrong to say "perhaps" and "probably" when I'm just figuring something out and haven't given it enough thought yet to ascertain it?
I'm making progress here in my efforts to understand my behavior, I don't think that's something you need to scold me for.

Maybe it wasn't meant to scold me but just to remind me. In that case, rest assured that I'm always trying to understand myself better when I notice there's something I don't understand, as you can tell from how I immediately tried to think of an explanation after I noticed there was something I didn't understand. Is there something else you think I should do besides that, or did you have an issue with me not thinking about this when I was exhibiting this behavior in the first place?

You are making excuses. What you are doing is detrimental to your sense of self understanding and yet you tell me "well at least I did this". That is nothing more than foolish and enables a self-perpetuating cycle of never doing your best to exist. If you recognize the problem, instead of making excuses, do something to fix it.

You say "is it really wrong to say "perhaps" and "probably" when I'm just figuring something out and haven't given it enough thought yet to ascertain it?" and the answer is a resounding YES. All you are doing by not giving "it enough thought" is creating that same self-perpetuating cycle.

Also, you must be aware that there are others who will come to this thread and read it, while I will not tell anyone what to do with their lives, I will tell them if something they are doing is harmful and allow them to make the choices for themselves, as such, I am telling you and anyone else who reads this thread that it IS wrong to live in ignorance of yourself.

You say "rest assured that I'm always trying to understand myself better when I notice there's something I don't understand" If that's true then why do you make excuses instead of try to figure it out?

You say "as you can tell from how I immediately tried to think of an explanation after I noticed there was something I didn't understand." So you recognize the fact that you are lacking explanation, and instead of sitting down and taking time to understand what the truth is, you "tried to think of an explanation", is that right?

You say "Is there something else you think I should do besides that, or did you have an issue with me not thinking about this when I was exhibiting this behavior in the first place?" and my answer to this is your own words.

Any time you recognize that you have ignorance about yourself, sit down ask yourself if you've "given it enough thought yet to ascertain it?" If the answer is no, then, give it more thought then ask again, continue to do this until the answer is yes.

Absolutely

I also see people with warped or harmful thoughts as damaged and in need of healing.

I think in some cases someone can be too far gone and should be punished if they pose a danger to others or at least avoided. But to see a damaged person heal and move on from such things is truly a beautiful thing, I think.

As someone who also loves to help others, I can see why you stuck with that person for so long. You really thought you could help them become a better and stronger person, right? It would've been amazing. But they didn't. Deep inside, they didn't want to change. They just wanted to let themselves rot and fall into degeneracy.

It's painful, and as someone who has always been attracted to people with problems because it triggers something within me and makes me want to help them and heal them, I sympathise with you.

It is what it is, at the very least I was able to learn some things from my interactions with them.

Moderation in this subforum is a bit slower than in the more popular ones, so sometimes it can take a few days before something gets approved here. I also got a bit worried when it took 3 days for some of my posts in this thread to go through, but then it was approved just fine. If you're in doubt, you can check the date on the latest approved post in this subforum to see when posts last went through.

Good point.