Hello,
I wanted to ask for some advice on improving self discipline and willpower. See, I've been in a rut for the past year and a half where I am unable to continue anything for an extended period of time. It's like a sufficating pressure comes out of nowhere trying to prevent me from doing something, the longer I continue to do the thing and the more I push against this pressure the stronger it gets.
I currently have some self-hypnosis which I plan to do for this issue. However, I was wondering if there's anything else you all may know that could assist me through this. I have been trying to handle this on my own for almost two years now. But, I know that I should reach out and ask for help when I need it, and honestly, I should have asked for assistance earlier.
I'm just ashamed I can't even complete a simple meditation schedule. I've restarted the 40 day so many times. I have finished the 40 day in the past and even reached a level of spiritual advancement where I could influence others and bring about events with just my thoughts. So, it's not like I can't do it, because I've done it before, and I know I can, but, I can't seem to overcome this sufficating feeling.
In the past I tied myself to a really nefarious individual through lots of sex and other things, and, I'm pretty positive that this sufficating pressure is as a result of that series of stupid decisions I made, however, without getting rid of this suffication I can't even do the main three meditations for long, let alone a runic working to detach myself from this individual.
Any advice is appreciated. I can't even tell you how angry, upset, and overall just fucked up that I can't bring myself to do simple things. I care for the Gods so fucking much and it brings me to tears out of fucking frustration that I can't seem to do anything to show this love for them. I fucking want to destroy the enemy so badly, I want to advance, I want all these things so bad I would fucking kill for them.
Thank you ahead of time for your responses.
I wanted to ask for some advice on improving self discipline and willpower. See, I've been in a rut for the past year and a half where I am unable to continue anything for an extended period of time. It's like a sufficating pressure comes out of nowhere trying to prevent me from doing something, the longer I continue to do the thing and the more I push against this pressure the stronger it gets.
I currently have some self-hypnosis which I plan to do for this issue. However, I was wondering if there's anything else you all may know that could assist me through this. I have been trying to handle this on my own for almost two years now. But, I know that I should reach out and ask for help when I need it, and honestly, I should have asked for assistance earlier.
I'm just ashamed I can't even complete a simple meditation schedule. I've restarted the 40 day so many times. I have finished the 40 day in the past and even reached a level of spiritual advancement where I could influence others and bring about events with just my thoughts. So, it's not like I can't do it, because I've done it before, and I know I can, but, I can't seem to overcome this sufficating feeling.
In the past I tied myself to a really nefarious individual through lots of sex and other things, and, I'm pretty positive that this sufficating pressure is as a result of that series of stupid decisions I made, however, without getting rid of this suffication I can't even do the main three meditations for long, let alone a runic working to detach myself from this individual.
Any advice is appreciated. I can't even tell you how angry, upset, and overall just fucked up that I can't bring myself to do simple things. I care for the Gods so fucking much and it brings me to tears out of fucking frustration that I can't seem to do anything to show this love for them. I fucking want to destroy the enemy so badly, I want to advance, I want all these things so bad I would fucking kill for them.
Thank you ahead of time for your responses.