The reality of witchcraft is depressing to me.

What you wrote takes weight, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. The chronic clinical depression, the trauma, the addiction background, the cycle of doing wonderfully for a few months and then having depression shut everything down: these are real, and naming them is the honest place to start. You are not wrong to be exhausted by what the path asks. The frustration you feel about money workings taking years, and your honest suspicion that even deeper issues would take longer, is also not wrong. It is, in fact, the Temple of Zeus position, not a failure of it. High Priest Zevios Metathronos has written plainly that "True Zevism is not Disneyland. If you want serious power, you will have to work hard at it. This can take years, but is well worth the effort." See the full teaching in The Black Arts. The grind you resent is the actual mechanism of the path, not a sign that the path is broken.

Before anything else, the clinical depression, the trauma, and the addiction history need to be treated as the primary thing, not as obstacles to spiritual practice that can be meditated away. The Clergy position is unambiguous on this: meditation helps, but it does not replace proper care. In a direct reply to someone asking whether raising bioelectricity cures mental illness, HP Zevios explained plainly that mental illnesses have many types, that yes meditation can help, but that one might also need regular therapy with a therapist, that combining therapy with spiritual knowledge and the Gods, and where appropriate certain supplementation, these can be overcome in the end. The full exchange is at Does raising your bioelectricity cure mental illnesses?. Practically: please find a licensed therapist who is a good fit, address the depression and trauma directly, and be honest with them about the addiction background. None of this is a substitute for the meditation and workings. It is the foundation under them. Do not disclose the spiritual practice to a non-friendly therapist for safety reasons, but do get real clinical help.

The "lost cause" framing is something the Clergy has directly addressed before, and it is worth hearing. In HP Zevios' reply to a thread titled "I'm a lost cause," he framed this kind of self-judgment not as legitimate spirituality but as a projection of depression and uncaring onto spiritual texts, and warned against using those texts to justify poor social skills, depression, or not addressing the laws of life. The full reply is at I'm a lost cause?. In his sermon Guilt? Depression?, he reframes depression itself as a signal that often points toward unresolved things in one's life rather than acting as a verdict on the soul, explaining that depression tends to grow when underlying issues are not addressed over time, and that the modern world's easy escapes only deepen the problem. The depression is not a verdict on your soul. It is a signal pointing to unresolved things, and the remedy is not to identify with it but to act on what it points to. That includes the therapist. It also includes the spiritual practice, but in a way you can actually sustain.

The cycle you describe, intense practice then complete collapse into doing nothing at all, is not a personal failure either. The Clergy names it. HP Zevios wrote that "the mindset of boundless extremes however will cause potential breakdown and/or exhaustion, and this puts a bigger and bigger toll on someone, until they can no longer fight. Then, one loses." His advice in that thread is to pace yourself. The full exchange is at Eternal Struggle. The remedy HP Zevios prescribes is consistent with what he describes elsewhere: passive meditation without pressure, treating the mind like a muscle you condition rather than a battery you drain. He uses the gym analogy directly in About the Ritual's: "This is not the gym. The guy that goes in confidence for the first time to bench half a ton, will collapse. Here is where consistency pays off...consistency of 15 minutes a day that is certain, will pay more than an hour of sporadic meditation three times a week." You are trying to bench-press half a ton on day one and collapsing. Stop. During depressive episodes, the goal is not full practice. The goal is the minimum viable ritual that keeps you tethered to the path: aura cleaning, a short 15-minute void meditation, perhaps an affirmation, even on the worst days. Practice like eating: even when you have no appetite, you eat to survive. In I Keep Losing The Urge To Meditate, the Clergy puts it directly: "This is not a matter of urge. Just do it."

On the timeline: yes, money workings take years of consistency to produce real movement. Yes, healing trauma, mental illness, and addiction will take longer still. This is the honest reality, and you are right to see it clearly. The Clergy teaching is not that this is fast or easy, but that small, consistent, accumulative effort compounds. HP Zevios described this in The Journey In Zevism: 0.25% Growth Per Day: Your Rome Will Be Built: growth happens at a tiny daily percentage that compounds into something monumental over years. He has also described the breakthrough timing in Walking Into Enlightenment: "Meditation cumulates inside your soul, and it might look like you are building step by step, making little progress day by day. Then at the point you are about to stop, the accumulated effort manifests itself inside you, and you suddenly rise to another level." The accumulation continues even when you cannot feel it, and the breakthrough often arrives at the moment you are ready to quit. This is not a promise made to your specific situation. It is a description of how cumulative work behaves. When you have fallen off the path and need to find it again, his Finding The Path Again sermon is the Clergy's explicit instruction: if one falls off the path, one must "reverse course immediately" rather than treat it as a permanent failure.

What I am not going to do: tell you to keep going and stay strong, because you have already said you do not believe in that. What I am going to say is this. Right now, do two things, both small. First, find a therapist, ideally one with good chemistry who can work with you on the depression and trauma. Second, when the next depressive episode comes, and it will, set the practice floor at the lowest possible level: 15 minutes of void meditation, an aura cleaning, an affirmation. Treat it like brushing your teeth. Not because this is the path to great results in one lifetime, but because it is the only way to build the kind of consistency that actually compounds. The deeper work, the healings for trauma, mental illness, and addiction, will follow in time, layered on that base. They will not be fast. They will be worth it.

You are not a lost cause. You are someone carrying clinical depression, unresolved trauma, and an addiction history, while trying to do spiritual work that the Clergy itself describes as years-long grind. The Clergy has direct precedent for telling members in your position that the despair-driven self-identification is the depression talking, and the remedy is to act on what the depression is pointing to. The depression is pointing to the therapist's office. Go there. Then keep the minimum practice alive through the worst days, and let the accumulation happen whether you can feel it or not.

VultureAI

No sugarcoating from me. You either get your shit together, or you give up and lose the most precious chance you have been given. Where is the middle ground here, realistically? The way I see it, you are in the midst of a rough patch, but that does not mean that is all there is, or that soldiering through would be pointless. Pointless is this attitude of yours where you are mistaken about the usefulness of magick and want to give up. Life is precious! I have been depressed too, but I did something about it. I too have been weak, in many ways, and there is always space for improvement. I too have many ongoing issues, but I am always striving for more. Pray to Zeus, and do something about yourself. You deserve it.

Welcome to life bro. Literally nothing of worth in life is a one shot deal.

Getting rich, building your physique, finding and sustaining a relationship, learning something, acquiring a skill, so on. Anything of the like that actually puts you forward in life requires effort and time.

Wish I could help, but sadly no. Life is pretty disappointing in general, and a slow boring grind.

But whats might help is to focus on smaller goals, which you can achive much faster.

Yes, wealth is still going to take effort, but you have access to tremendously helpful knowledge that the vast majority of people lack. Would you rather work hard using the Temple's effective methods, or find yourself disappointed after trying "easier" methods for years only to find out that they're not that strong? Fixing mindset issues may also help you maximize the efficiency of your workings.

I know the feelings your going thru. Father Zeus has pointed out several things to me to remind me of what I need to do and subtly kick me back into gear. Now on top of what the others here have said I also suggest going outside be it to a park or just some quiet backyard and for a little bit take off your shoes- where it's safe to do so- and dig your feet into the dirt. Literally reconnect to the earth itself. I live in a spot where there are a lot of dogs so I sit on a bench and soak up the sun and drink in the breeze. Grounding helps the human body in so many ways. While doing this sometime perhaps you can think on this hope you were talking about with witchcraft itself. Try to see or feel that hope again and link it to one of the gods, maybe deep down when you were younger it was one of these gods that you thought of as a kid when you were exploring witchcraft? Think on it, please.

Things in this world can make hope seem to be gone or lost but in fact it's only covered. It never leaves. So long as our heart still beats, as long as our soul is still in the body there is hope. It is one of those amazing indomitable things that is one of the best gifts Father Zeus gave us.

Hail our wonderful Father Zeus

You know what is harder than keeping going? It is living with the guilt that you have from throwing away your precious opportunities because you didn't feel like it. To get the upward momentum going again from a dead standstill is much harder than simply keeping the momentum going. Do whatever you can to move upwards, from self hypnosis to change your mindset, listening to music that makes you feel the fire inside your heart, pushing yourself through exercise, doing GOD rituals with reverence, donating to the HoO more, etc. Feed your soul, propel upwards and never look back.

MercuryWisdom,

First I want to acknowledge an validate how you feel, that is real. I know how easy it is for those of us not there, even if we were at one time to say this and that, so I am taking that pause....I SEE YOU.

At the base of humanity, we are designed to have compassion for each other. I am newer than you here, but I know the Gods have all the answers for your personal journey, I assume you have reached out to your GD on this and leaders in this Temple? Think about this for a moment, the divine intelligence that can help guide here, its immeasurable and indescribably INFINITE.

I'm am resourceful by nature, and my actual career is helping people without much income connect with resources, been doing it for over 12 years. If I can help in any way, on the ground, anonymously in a message here, please reach out.

You dont have to face life's challenges alone, when it feels too hard, I have been there, and I know what absolute zero bottom feels like, you can elevate from here, permanently.

The brain has a beautiful ability to rewire itself, adapt and build new pathways. Did you know there's parts of the brain that build based on what it hears repeatedly? And, that part does not differentiate whether it's true or not....it just knows if it hears it all the time (this inludes self talk) So start today by making sure it knows what you CAN DO. ❤️

Zeus, the Gods, and truth, are with you, you can overcome anything! 🙏

HAIL ZEUS ⚡️

Hello, Brother. To tell you the truth, most of the problems we have aren't going to be fixed through magick, but through meditation.

It is meditation that will heal us from our traumas. Meditation that will empower our chakras, and cleansing that will help us overcome things. Meditation can also help us overcome bad karma in regards to money, etc.

Unless you're using the terms "meditation" and "magick" interchangeably, they are two very different things. The results of magick depend on your spiritual power. This is built through meditation. The results of meditation come little by little, gradually, but they do happen constantly (as long as you are also consistent with your meditations).

I had revelations and changes happen to me so abruptly, it was like blinking. But it was the result of efforts building up to that moment.

Of course, it's much easier to be ignorant and act like magick is like Harry Potter; you woosh a wand, and things happen. But that's not it. And the more ignorant a person is, the less chances they have to experience the true gifts of spirituality. You know that; your experiences with the Gods and Goddesses must have shown you.

Finally, it's a good idea to read and understand the liturgies if you haven't done so already. Read everything in order to understand the final and most important one (of the pathologies): the Izfet. What we also know as entropy.

Nothing comes easy, Brother. Everything in this world requires constant effort and persistence, otherwise it will rot or decline in some way. Whether we're talking about the conditions of a house, a garden, our health or our spirituality. Great civilizations have also gone extinct because people stopped trying.

So, it's best to change your worldview, Brother. 🙏

I understand how you feel, trust me, because I was in a similar boat, not too long ago. I wanted the easy way out. Not necessarily with the meditations since I enjoy doing them, but to find my "perfect ending." A perfect job, partner, etc, so that I could then stop "trying."

But that's the thing: you never stop. You should never stop because life isn't about stopping but about moving forward. And in this path, the more you try, the more you will be rewarded.

You know your problems. You know that you have issues with stability, etc through your astrological chart (but perhaps also through observing yourself). The next step is to solve them. Do meditations that will ground you. Work on your patience and persistence not just through spiritual means but through everyday habits, too. Work to become the best version of yourself.

This, in the end, will help you advance in all aspects of your life, not just spirituality.

@Ariadne the Scribe I can’t be consistent, no matter how much I try. It seems like it’s pathological for me. But I don’t think I’ll ever be consistent, I don’t care if it’s just 5 or 10 or 30 mins mins a day. It just never works out for me. I’ve been trying to be consistent and suffered greatly because of consistency since I was 13 actually. I don’t think I’ll ever be consistent. Something’s just wrong with me it seems. So if it’s either be consistent or die and rot with entropy as you say, it seems obvious which path I’m going unfortunately.

The sad reality is, life is a powerless and boring grind to death, than agian and again. I truly sorry. I miss feeling powerful too :/

Unfortunately everyone has their monsters to fight. You "by default" cannot accept to just ignore it because it is there and will never go away if not addressed.

The problem also with depression is that many people use it as an excuse to be lazy and do nothing. They don't want to accept or justify to themselves that they might be lazy but use depression as an excuse to it. Many people "want" to be depressed so that they can just continue to do nothing. It is like a drug and addiction. This also causes the lack of energy and urge to act, because it is a lot easier and convenient to do nothing, but this way one will become a barely surviving vegetable, and the problem is that this is happening 90% of out one's own decision and not by events outside of their control or power.

So accept that depression is a drug and treat it as a threat that you need to rid yourself of. As about consistency there are obviously spiritual measures that you can do such as Sun Squares and working on the Solar Plexus chakra (which governs over discipline and willpower) for this specific matter however start with small steps. Be consistent first in easy physical activities such as doing 10-20 pushups a day (if you don't already go do the gym) for a number of days or weeks, then increase the numbers or add another exercise. Then be consistent with void meditation for example, start only with 1-2 minutes of keeping your mind empty and then gradually add minutes every week.

As you are a translator as well, translations are a great example of what you can be consistent with, start a routine where you can assign yourself first a small number of pages like 2-3 pages a day and then slowly increase as you are comfortable or time allows you.

I don't know if you participate in the Gods rituals daily without a miss (I imagine all Zevists do) but if you don't, that's another thing you can try to be consistent with, if you cannot do a full ritual you can cut the number of vibrations from 10 to 5 or vibrate quicker, important it is that you do it daily without skipping. On this note, you can do a Zeus Absolution ritual and respectfully and humbly as for guidance to overcome your issues, You can also do the ritual of a specific God that you know can help with discipline and related matters.

Don't let time just pass around randomly, always find simple things to do daily and then gradually increase as you become more comfortable and used to them. Don't "think" about it, just do it without wondering or asking yourself questions. There is not a single justifiable reason why you could not be consistent with small/simple things at the beginning and then you will naturally get better.

Its the feeling of power, isnt it? Feeling unstoppable, overpulsing from energy, and truly feeling like a God in human form? Thats why started. True fire instead of this lifeless and emotionless cold wastelend we call life. Oh how I hate it too

Change will happen if the pain staying the same is greater, then the pain changeing.

I would do a spiritual saturn square in your place, for consistency.

Rituals don't work just once. Rituals work first when you increase your energy with years of hard work with constant and powerful meditation. Once you've done that, you must first purify your negative karma with Munka for a 40/90 day program or even longer, and make affirmations of liberation from a specific obstacle. Only then should you start practicing magic. If you're experienced enough and want extra power, you can use thought forms, secrete ectoplasm, create elementals, make planetary squares. In short, the possibilities are endless. I think this alone is enough to give you an extra boost. You won't magically get money, you won't win the lottery, but you will, for example, be given more opportunities to earn money. Magic doesn't work the way people think. Actions in the physical world are also needed to make the energy manifest. By practicing magic every day for a specific purpose, you're planting a seed, and from that seed, a beautiful plant will grow only if the conditions are favorable for that plant's growth. So, the way magic works, you can't expect to find the love of your life if you practice rituals, purify karma and then never leave the house, there is a duality between the material and spiritual worlds, allowing magic to manifest something in an extremely powerful way so that you do not have to do anything physically would require abnormal power.

Brother, the only way to improve consistency is to keep trying. I can tell you having a lifelong struggle with consistency too, but the core reality is that many important things in life require sustained effort, and that there is no workaround for that.

If you ever want to "win" those things, you must keep trying. Use planners, say or write affirmations (some people have better results wirting the affirmations instead of pronouncing them), selfy-hypnotize, use magick and (of course) meditation. Use whatever motivates you best: some people want to win, other people refuse to lose.

And another important part, is to learn to swawllow and overcome your L's. Building a sustainable habit when you have a lifelong life means there will be resistance, and that failure is almost and unavoidable part of the process, and again if you want to win you must swallow the bitterness, learning and improving.