Hello, Zevist family I've been inactive in my spiritual development recently & inactive in helping the community.
With life going on I haven't had Zevism at the forefront of my mind the way I've had it in the past especially in the first few months following my dedication.
& I've felt a since of apathy to some degree about my own life & spiritual development & our mission, which I feel very guily & shameful about.
I've felt a since of doubt in my abilities to advance myself & a since of distance from the Gods & a feeling of not living up to anywhere near my potential & I've felt like I've let the Gods & myself down In many ways by being lazy, distracted, & engaging in unhealthy behaviors.
I don't believe I've done anything so bad as to truly upset the Gods, although I haven't felt their attention & love the way I used to.
I also feel as I've been a bad example of a Zevist to the people close to me who I've told about the TOZ & my faith & although I do believe that I did a good job presenting the information truthfully & professionally & ethically & have a good understanding of the TOZ content after reading thousands of pages of sermons I haven't been a good living example of it which has caused ad homiem attacks against the information I was presenting because of negative behaviours I was engaging in.
I'm seeking advice in what I can do to reconnect to the path.
I feel I have made signifigant steps in the last 2 months by getting completely sober, eating better, being more consistent & disciplined with my workouts & going to BJJ classes
I've been doing AC & AOP & some affirmations for a few minutes before bed but haven't been doing proper meditation sessions, yoga sessions, rituals, or workings.
It's not an issue of me not knowing what to do, it's simply caring enough to consistently take action on it.
Has anyone else felt this way? If so how have you gone about getting reconnected to the path?

