struggling

[mikearnold66]

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[tigirus]

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[High Priestess Maxine Dietrich]

We have several other ex-Christian ministry here in this e-group who have found the truth.
The following is a reply I sent to a member who was having some of the same
issues that you are having now. 'God' and the 'Devil' are backwards. Many are finding this truth now, but for a lot of others, they will want to join on at the last minute and it will be too late for them.
Here it is:

Have you studied http://www.exposingchristianity.com ?

You have already answered some of your own questions in your post below. Your problem seems to be listening to and believing the lies that xians and others push upon you, instead of thinking for and seeing things for yourself.

If one would look with open eyes, it is glaringly obvious who really hates
humanity. 'Jehova' hates nearly EVERYTHING about humanity. For proof, just look to all of the so-called 'sins' listed in the bible. Everything of human nature is a 'sin.'

The bible is chock full of 'flaws.' Because it is a lie, it is full of
contradictions. The truth does not contradict itself. In addition, the bible conflicts with science, history, geology, astronomy and many other disciplines of study and inquiry; Satanism does NOT. Satanism does not suppress any free thought or discourage any questions. Satanism SUPPORTS science and scientific inquiry, knowledge and education.

During the Dark Ages when christianity was at its full power, reading, writing and science were severely oppressed. Galileo was persecuted by the christian church for his discovery that the planets and the earth revolved around the sun.The penalty for free thought was torture and death.

Also, I am posting this again from another post regarding scripture and the
bible- after reading the scriptures below, now tell me who is REALLY a deceiver and a liar AND WHO REALLY HATES HUMANITY- HIS MURDER OF HUMAN INFANTS:

Through years of study, I have discovered many of the ancients left hidden
messages in the bible, in paintings, and in other works. It is glaringly obvious the bible was composed under force [which is what xians use; they never take NO for an answer].

One of those messages was that the REAL evil one 'was a murderer and a liar from the beginning.' We all know the nazarene is fictitious:
http://www.exposingchristianity.com/Jesus_Christ.htm

The point being, that biblical verse is one where there is a hidden message.

Now- reply to any xian with this and you will more than likely get a bunch of double-talk, as xians tie into lying deceitful energy, they begin to look like the lie that they are [the zombie-like smiley face], and many who are real far gone will bold face lie to push the enemy agenda. Many documents over the centuries have been altered to promote the xian agenda.

Now, as for the above biblical verse, it is glaringly obvious.
WHO DID SATAN EVER MURDER TO ORDER OTHERS TO MURDER?? NO ONE.

Even that foul nazarene ordered others:
Luke 19:27 - But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

What xians call 'God' and the 'Devil' are actually backwards. The TRUE EVIL
wrote that filthy bible. It is also very apparent that the evil monster jewhova
HATES ANYTHING HUMAN.

Now, as for the murderous monster this 'jehova' was:
[the following was taken from http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/ ... ty.html%5d

Genesis 34:13-29 The Israelites kill Hamor, his son, and all the men of their
village, taking as plunder their wealth, cattle, wives and children.

Genesis 6:11-17, 7:11-24 God is unhappy with the wickedness of man and decides
to do something about it. He kills every living thing on the face of the earth
other than Noah's family and thereby makes himself the greatest mass murderer in
history.

Genesis 19:26 God personally sees to it that Lot's wife is turned to a pillar of
salt (for having looked behind her while fleeing the destruction of Sodom and
Gomorrah).

Genesis 38:9 "... whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen
on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was
wicked ..., so the Lord put him to death."

Exodus 9:22-25 A plague of hail from the Lord strikes down everything in the
fields of Egypt both man and beast except in Goshen where the Israelites reside.

Exodus 12:29 The Lord kills all the first-born in the land of Egypt.

Exodus 17:13 With the Lord's approval, Joshua mows down Amalek and his people.

Exodus 21:20-21 With the Lord's approval, a slave may be beaten to death with no
punishment for the perpetrator as long as the slave doesn't die too quickly.

Exodus 32:27 "Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate
to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his
companion, and every man his neighbor.

Exodus 32:27-29 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites slay 3000 men.

Leviticus 26:7-8 The Lord promises the Israelites that, if they are obedient,
their enemies will "fall before your sword."

Leviticus 26:22 "I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of
your children."

Leviticus 26:29, DT 28:53, JE 19:9, EZ 5:8-10 As a punishment, the Lord will
cause people to eat the flesh of their own sons and daughters and fathers and
friends.

Leviticus 27:29 Human sacrifice is condoned. (Note: An example is given in JG
11:30-39)

Numbers 11:33 The Lord smites the people with a great plague.

Numbers 12:1-10 God makes Miriam a leper for seven days because she and Aaron
had spoken against Moses.

Numbers 15:32-36 A Sabbath breaker (who had gathered sticks for a fire) is
stoned to death at the Lord's command.

Numbers 16:27-33 The Lord causes the earth to open and swallow up the men and
their households (including wives and children) because the men had been
rebellious.

Numbers 16:35 A fire from the Lord consumes 250 men.

Numbers 16:49 A plague from the Lord kills 14,700 people.

Numbers 21:3 The Israelites utterly destroy the Canaanites.

Numbers 21:35 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites slay Og "... and his sons
and all his people, until there was not one survivor left ...."

Numbers 25:4 (King James Version) "And the Lord said unto Moses, take all the
heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun ...."

Numbers 25:8 "He went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of
them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly."

Numbers 25:9 24,000 people die in a plague from the Lord.

Numbers 31:9 The Israelites capture Midianite women and children.

Numbers 31:17-18 Moses, following the Lord's command, orders the Israelites to
kill all the Midianite male children and "... every woman who has known man
...." (Note: How would it be determined which women had known men? One can only
speculate.)

Numbers 31:31-40 32,000 virgins are taken by the Israelites as booty. Thirty-two
are set aside (to be sacrificed?) as a tribute for the Lord.

Deuteronomy 2:33-34 The Israelites utterly destroy the men, women, and children
of Sihon.

Deuteronomy 3:6 The Israelites utterly destroy the men, women, and children of
Og.

Deuteronomy 7:2 The Lord commands the Israelites to "utterly destroy" and shown
"no mercy" to those whom he gives them for defeat.

Deuteronomy 20:13-14 "When the Lord delivers it into your hand, put to the sword
all the males .... As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything
else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves."

Deuteronomy 20:16 "In the cities of the nations the Lord is giving you as an
inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes."

Deuteronomy 21:10-13 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites are allowed to
take "beautiful women" from the enemy camp to be their captive wives. If, after
sexual relations, the husband has "no delight" in his wife, he can simply let
her go.

Deuteronomy 28:53 "You will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and
daughters the Lord your God has given you."

Joshua 1:1-9, 18 Joshua receives the Lord's blessing for all the bloody
endeavors to follow.

Joshua 6:21-27 With the Lord's approval, Joshua destroys the city of Jericho
men, women, and children with the edge of the sword.

Joshua 7:19-26 Achan, his children and his cattle are stoned to death because
Achan had taken a taboo thing.

Joshua 8:22-25 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly smites the people of Ai,
killing 12,000 men and women, so that there were none who escaped.

Joshua 10:10-27 With the help of the Lord, Joshua utterly destroys the
Gibeonites.

Joshua 10:28 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the people of
Makkedah.

Joshua 10:30 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Libnahites.

Joshua 10:32-33 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the people of
Lachish.

Joshua 10:34-35 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Eglonites.

Joshua 10:36-37 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the
Hebronites.

Joshua 10:38-39 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Debirites.

Joshua 10:40 (A summary statement.) "So Joshua defeated the whole land ...; he
left none remaining, but destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God of Israel
commanded."

Joshua 11:6 The Lord orders horses to be hamstrung. (Exceedingly cruel.)

Joshua 11:8-15 "And the lord gave them into the hand of Israel, ...utterly
destroying them; there was none left that breathed ...."

Joshua 11:20 "For it was the Lord's doing to harden their hearts that they
should come against Israel in battle, in order that they should be utterly
destroyed, and should receive no mercy but be exterminated, as the Lord
commanded Moses."

Joshua 11:21-23 Joshua utterly destroys the Anakim.

Judges 1:4 With the Lord's support, Judah defeats 10,000 Canaanites at Bezek.

Judges 1:6 With the Lord's approval, Judah pursues Adoni-bezek, catches him, and
cuts off his thumbs and big toes.

Judges 1:8 With the Lord's approval, Judah smites Jerusalem.

Judges 1:17 With the Lord's approval, Judah and Simeon utterly destroy the
Canaanites who inhabited Zephath.

Judges 3:29 The Israelites kill about 10,000 Moabites.

Judges 3:31 (A restatement.) Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an oxgoad.

Judges 4:21 Jael takes a tent stake and hammers it through the head of Sisera,
fastening it to the ground.

Judges 7:19-25 The Gideons defeat the Midianites, slay their princes, cut off
their heads, and bring the heads back to Gideon.

Judges 8:15-21 The Gideons slaughter the men of Penuel.

Judges 9:5 Abimalech murders his brothers.

Judges 9:45 Abimalech and his men kill all the people in the city.

Judges 9:53-54 "A woman dropped a stone on his head and cracked his skull.
Hurriedly he called to his armor-bearer, 'Draw your sword and kill me, so that
they can't say a woman killed me.' So his servant ran him through, and he died."

Judges 11:29-39 Jepthah sacrifices his beloved daughter, his only child,
according to a vow he has made with the Lord.

Judges 14:19 The Spirit of the Lord comes upon a man and causes him to slay
thirty men.

Judges 15:15 Samson slays 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass.

Judges 16:21 The Philistines gouge out Samson's eyes.

Judges 16:27-30 Samson, with the help of the Lord, pulls down the pillars of the
Philistine house and causes his own death and that of 3000 other men and women.

Judges 18:27 The Danites slay the quiet and unsuspecting people of Laish.

Judges 19:22-29 A group of sexual depraved men beat on the door of an old man's
house demanding that he turn over to them a male house guest. Instead, the old
man offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine (or wife): "Behold,
here are my virgin daughter and his concubine; let me bring them out now. Ravish
them and do with them what seems good to you; but against this man do not do so
vile a thing." The man's concubine is ravished and dies. The man then cuts her
body into twelve pieces and sends one piece to each of the twelve tribes of
Israel.

Judges 20:43-48 The Israelites smite 25,000+ "men of valor" from amongst the
Benjamites, "men and beasts and all that they found," and set their towns on
fire.

Judges 21:10-12 "... Go and smite the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead with the edge
of the sword and; also the women and little ones.... every male and every woman
that has lain with a male you shall utterly destroy." They do so and find four
hundred young virgins whom they bring back for their own use.

1 Samuel 6:19 God kills seventy men (or so) for looking into the Ark (at him?).
(Note: The early Israelites apparently thought the Ark to be God's abode.)

1 Samuel 7:7-11 Samuel and his men smite the Philistines.

1 Samuel 11:11 With the Lord's blessing, Saul and his men cut down the
Ammonites.

1 Samuel 14:31 Jonathan and his men strike down the Philistines.

1 Samuel 14:48 Saul smites the Amalekites.

1 Samuel 15:3, 7-8 "This is what the Lord says: Now go and smite Amalek, and
utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and
woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass ....' And Saul ...
utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword."

1 Samuel 15:33 "Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the Lord ...."

1 Samuel 18:7 The women sing as they make merry: "Saul has slain his thousands
and David his ten thousands."

1 Samuel 18:27 David murders 200 Philistines, then cuts off their foreskins.

1 Samuel 30:17 David smites the Amalekites.

2 Samuel 2:23 Abner kills Asahel.

2 Samuel 3:30 Joab and Abishai kill Abner.

2 Samuel 4:7-8 Rechan and Baanah kill Ish-bosheth, behead him, and take his head
to David.

2 Samuel 4:12 David has Rechan and Baanah killed, their hands and feet cut off,
and their bodies hanged by the pool at Hebron.

2 Samuel 5:25 "And David did as the Lord commanded him, and smote the
Philistines ...."

2 Samuel 6:2-23 Because she rebuked him for having exposed himself, Michal
(David's wife) was barren throughout her life.

2 Samuel 8:1-18 (A listing of some of David's murderous conquests.)

2 Samuel 8:4 David hamstrung all but a few of the horses.

2 Samuel 8:5 David slew 22,000 Syrians.

2 Samuel 8:6, 14 "The Lord gave victory to David wherever he went."

2 Samuel 8:13 David slew 18,000 Edomites in the valley of salt and made the rest
slaves.

2 Samuel 10:18 David slew 47,000+ Syrians.

2 Samuel 11:14-27 David has Uriah killed so that he can marry Uriah's wife,
Bathsheba.

2 Samuel 12:1, 19 The Lord strikes David's child dead for the sin that David has
committed.

2 Samuel 13:1-15 Amnon loves his sister Tamar, rapes her, then hates her.

2 Samuel 13:28-29 Absalom has Amnon murdered.

2 Samuel 18:6 -7 20,000 men are slaughtered at the battle in the forest of
Ephraim.

2 Samuel 18:15 Joab's men murder Absalom.

2 Samuel 20:10-12 Joab's men murder Amasa and leave him "... wallowing in his
own blood in the highway. And anyone who came by, seeing him, stopped."

2 Samuel 24:15 The Lord sends a pestilence on Israel that kills 70,000 men.

1 Kings 2:24-25 Solomon has Adonijah murdered.

1 Kings 2:29-34 Solomon has Joab murdered.

1 Kings 2:46 Solomon has Shime-i murdered.

1 Kings 13:15-24 A man is killed by a lion for eating bread and drinking water
in a place where the Lord had previously told him not to. This is in spite of
the fact that the man had subsequently been lied to by a prophet who told the
man that an angel of the Lord said that it would be alright to eat and drink
there.

1 Kings 20:29-30 The Israelites smite 100,000 Syrian soldiers in one day. A wall
falls on 27,000 remaining Syrians.

2 Kings 1:10-12 Fire from heaven comes down and consumes fifty men.

2 Kings 2:23-24 Forty-two children are mauled and killed, presumably according
to the will of God, for having jeered at a man of God.

2 Kings 5:27 Elisha curses Gehazi and his descendants forever with leprosy.

2 Kings 6:18-19 The Lord answers Elisha's prayer and strikes the Syrians with
blindness. Elisha tricks the blind Syrians and leads them to Samaria.

2 Kings 6:29 "So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, 'Give
up your son so we may eat him,' but she had hidden him."

2 Kings 9:24 Jehu tricks and murders Joram.

2 Kings 9:27 Jehu has Ahaziah killed.

2 Kings 9:30-37 Jehu has Jezebel killed. Her body is trampled by horses. Dogs
eat her flesh so that only her skull, feet, and the palms of her hands remain.

2 Kings 10:7 Jehu has Ahab's seventy sons beheaded, then sends the heads to
their father.

2 Kings 10:14 Jehu has forty-two of Ahab's kin killed.

2 Kings 10:17 "And when he came to Samaria, he slew all that remained to Ahab in
Samaria, till he had wiped them out, according to the word of the Lord ...."

2 Kings 10:19-27 Jehu uses trickery to massacre the Baal worshippers.

2 Kings 11:1 Athaliah destroys all the royal family.

2 Kings 14:5, 7 Amaziah kills his servants and then 10,000 Edomites.

2 Kings 15:3-5 Even though he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, the
Lord smites Azariah with leprosy for not having removed the "high places."

2 Kings 15:16 Menahem ripped open all the women who were pregnant.

2 Kings 19:35 An angel of the Lord kills 185,000 men.

1 Chronicles 20:3 (KJV) "And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut
them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes."

2 Chronicles 13:17 500,000 Israelites are slaughtered.

2 Chronicles 21:4 Jehoram slays all his brothers.

Psalms 137:9 Happy will be the man who dashes your little ones against the
stones.

Psalms 144:1 God is praised as the one who trains hands for war and fingers for
battle.

Isaiah 13:15 "Everyone who is captured will be thrust through; all who are
caught will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed to pieces before
their eyes; their ... wives will be ravished."

Isaiah 13:18 "Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall
have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eye shall not spare children."

Isaiah 14:21-22 "Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their
fathers."

Isaiah 49:26 The Lord will cause the oppressors of the Israelite's to eat their
own flesh and to become drunk on their own blood as with wine.

Jeremiah 16:4 "They shall die grievous deaths; they shall not be lamented;
neither shall they be buried; but they shall be as dung upon the face of the
earth: and they shall be consumed by the sword, and by famine; and their
carcasses shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the
earth."

Lamentations 4:9-10 "Those slain by the sword are better off than those who die
of famine; racked with hunger, they waste away for lack of food. ... pitiful
women have cooked their own children, who became their food ..."

Ezekiel 6:12-13 The Lord says: "... they will fall by the sword, famine and
plague. He that is far away will die of the plague, and he that is near will
fall by the sword, and he that survives and is spared will die of famine. So
will I spend my wrath upon them. And they will know I am the Lord, when the
people lie slain among their idols around their altars, on every high hill and
on all the mountaintops, under every spreading tree and every leafy oak ...."

Ezekiel 9:4-6 The Lord commands: "... slay old men outright, young men and
maidens, little children and women ...."

Ezekiel 20:26 In order that he might horrify them, the Lord allowed the
Israelites to defile themselves through, amongst other things, the sacrifice of
their first-born children.

Ezekiel 21:3-4 The Lord says that he will cut off both the righteous and the
wicked that his sword shall go against all flesh.

Ezekiel 23:25, 47 God is going to slay the sons and daughters of those who were
whores.

Ezekiel 23:34 "You shall ... pluck out your hair, and tear your breasts."

Hosea 13:16 "They shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in
pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up."

Micah 3:2-3 "... who pluck off their skin ..., and their flesh from off their
bones; Who also eat the flesh of my people, and flay their skin from off them;
and they break their bones, and chop them in pieces, as for the pot, and as
flesh within the caldron."

Matthew 10:21 "... the brother shall deliver up his brother to death, and the
father his child, ... children shall rise up against their parents, and cause
them to be put to death."

Matthew 10:35-36 "For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter
against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law a man's enemies
will be the members of his own family."

Matthew 11:21-24 Jesus curses [the inhabitants of] three cities who were not
sufficiently impressed with his great works.


High Priestess Maxine Dietrich
http://www.joyofsatan.org

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[amnaelhenry@rocketmail.com]

Listen to what you just said. You basically have answered your own question but your to scared to admit it. This is why they invinted the Christian version of Hell , to make you to scared to think clearly.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "tigirus" <tigirus@... wrote:

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[jonathon_billing]

"they will want to join on at the last minute and it will be too late for them."

Could you elaborate on this?

I mean are they going to be wiped out of existence? No reincarnation.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], High Priestess Maxine Dietrich <maxine.dietrich@... wrote:


We have several other ex-Christian ministry here in this e-group who have found the truth.
The following is a reply I sent to a member who was having some of the same
issues that you are having now. 'God' and the 'Devil' are backwards. Many are finding this truth now, but for a lot of others, they will want to join on at the last minute and it will be too late for them.
Here it is:

Have you studied http://www.exposingchristianity.com ?

You have already answered some of your own questions in your post below. Your problem seems to be listening to and believing the lies that xians and others push upon you, instead of thinking for and seeing things for yourself.

If one would look with open eyes, it is glaringly obvious who really hates
humanity. 'Jehova' hates nearly EVERYTHING about humanity. For proof, just look to all of the so-called 'sins' listed in the bible. Everything of human nature is a 'sin.'

The bible is chock full of 'flaws.' Because it is a lie, it is full of
contradictions. The truth does not contradict itself. In addition, the bible conflicts with science, history, geology, astronomy and many other disciplines of study and inquiry; Satanism does NOT. Satanism does not suppress any free thought or discourage any questions. Satanism SUPPORTS science and scientific inquiry, knowledge and education.

During the Dark Ages when christianity was at its full power, reading, writing and science were severely oppressed. Galileo was persecuted by the christian church for his discovery that the planets and the earth revolved around the sun.The penalty for free thought was torture and death.

Also, I am posting this again from another post regarding scripture and the
bible- after reading the scriptures below, now tell me who is REALLY a deceiver and a liar AND WHO REALLY HATES HUMANITY- HIS MURDER OF HUMAN INFANTS:

Through years of study, I have discovered many of the ancients left hidden
messages in the bible, in paintings, and in other works. It is glaringly obvious the bible was composed under force [which is what xians use; they never take NO for an answer].

One of those messages was that the REAL evil one 'was a murderer and a liar from the beginning.' We all know the nazarene is fictitious:
http://www.exposingchristianity.com/Jesus_Christ.htm

The point being, that biblical verse is one where there is a hidden message.

Now- reply to any xian with this and you will more than likely get a bunch of double-talk, as xians tie into lying deceitful energy, they begin to look like the lie that they are [the zombie-like smiley face], and many who are real far gone will bold face lie to push the enemy agenda. Many documents over the centuries have been altered to promote the xian agenda.

Now, as for the above biblical verse, it is glaringly obvious.
WHO DID SATAN EVER MURDER TO ORDER OTHERS TO MURDER?? NO ONE.

Even that foul nazarene ordered others:
Luke 19:27 - But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

What xians call 'God' and the 'Devil' are actually backwards. The TRUE EVIL
wrote that filthy bible. It is also very apparent that the evil monster jewhova
HATES ANYTHING HUMAN.

Now, as for the murderous monster this 'jehova' was:
[the following was taken from http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/ ... ty.html%5d

Genesis 34:13-29 The Israelites kill Hamor, his son, and all the men of their
village, taking as plunder their wealth, cattle, wives and children.

Genesis 6:11-17, 7:11-24 God is unhappy with the wickedness of man and decides
to do something about it. He kills every living thing on the face of the earth
other than Noah's family and thereby makes himself the greatest mass murderer in
history.

Genesis 19:26 God personally sees to it that Lot's wife is turned to a pillar of
salt (for having looked behind her while fleeing the destruction of Sodom and
Gomorrah).

Genesis 38:9 "... whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen
on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was
wicked ..., so the Lord put him to death."

Exodus 9:22-25 A plague of hail from the Lord strikes down everything in the
fields of Egypt both man and beast except in Goshen where the Israelites reside.

Exodus 12:29 The Lord kills all the first-born in the land of Egypt.

Exodus 17:13 With the Lord's approval, Joshua mows down Amalek and his people.

Exodus 21:20-21 With the Lord's approval, a slave may be beaten to death with no
punishment for the perpetrator as long as the slave doesn't die too quickly.

Exodus 32:27 "Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate
to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his
companion, and every man his neighbor.

Exodus 32:27-29 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites slay 3000 men.

Leviticus 26:7-8 The Lord promises the Israelites that, if they are obedient,
their enemies will "fall before your sword."

Leviticus 26:22 "I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of
your children."

Leviticus 26:29, DT 28:53, JE 19:9, EZ 5:8-10 As a punishment, the Lord will
cause people to eat the flesh of their own sons and daughters and fathers and
friends.

Leviticus 27:29 Human sacrifice is condoned. (Note: An example is given in JG
11:30-39)

Numbers 11:33 The Lord smites the people with a great plague.

Numbers 12:1-10 God makes Miriam a leper for seven days because she and Aaron
had spoken against Moses.

Numbers 15:32-36 A Sabbath breaker (who had gathered sticks for a fire) is
stoned to death at the Lord's command.

Numbers 16:27-33 The Lord causes the earth to open and swallow up the men and
their households (including wives and children) because the men had been
rebellious.

Numbers 16:35 A fire from the Lord consumes 250 men.

Numbers 16:49 A plague from the Lord kills 14,700 people.

Numbers 21:3 The Israelites utterly destroy the Canaanites.

Numbers 21:35 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites slay Og "... and his sons
and all his people, until there was not one survivor left ...."

Numbers 25:4 (King James Version) "And the Lord said unto Moses, take all the
heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun ...."

Numbers 25:8 "He went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of
them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly."

Numbers 25:9 24,000 people die in a plague from the Lord.

Numbers 31:9 The Israelites capture Midianite women and children.

Numbers 31:17-18 Moses, following the Lord's command, orders the Israelites to
kill all the Midianite male children and "... every woman who has known man
...." (Note: How would it be determined which women had known men? One can only
speculate.)

Numbers 31:31-40 32,000 virgins are taken by the Israelites as booty. Thirty-two
are set aside (to be sacrificed?) as a tribute for the Lord.

Deuteronomy 2:33-34 The Israelites utterly destroy the men, women, and children
of Sihon.

Deuteronomy 3:6 The Israelites utterly destroy the men, women, and children of
Og.

Deuteronomy 7:2 The Lord commands the Israelites to "utterly destroy" and shown
"no mercy" to those whom he gives them for defeat.

Deuteronomy 20:13-14 "When the Lord delivers it into your hand, put to the sword
all the males .... As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything
else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves."

Deuteronomy 20:16 "In the cities of the nations the Lord is giving you as an
inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes."

Deuteronomy 21:10-13 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites are allowed to
take "beautiful women" from the enemy camp to be their captive wives. If, after
sexual relations, the husband has "no delight" in his wife, he can simply let
her go.

Deuteronomy 28:53 "You will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and
daughters the Lord your God has given you."

Joshua 1:1-9, 18 Joshua receives the Lord's blessing for all the bloody
endeavors to follow.

Joshua 6:21-27 With the Lord's approval, Joshua destroys the city of Jericho
men, women, and children with the edge of the sword.

Joshua 7:19-26 Achan, his children and his cattle are stoned to death because
Achan had taken a taboo thing.

Joshua 8:22-25 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly smites the people of Ai,
killing 12,000 men and women, so that there were none who escaped.

Joshua 10:10-27 With the help of the Lord, Joshua utterly destroys the
Gibeonites.

Joshua 10:28 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the people of
Makkedah.

Joshua 10:30 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Libnahites.

Joshua 10:32-33 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the people of
Lachish.

Joshua 10:34-35 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Eglonites.

Joshua 10:36-37 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the
Hebronites.

Joshua 10:38-39 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Debirites.

Joshua 10:40 (A summary statement.) "So Joshua defeated the whole land ...; he
left none remaining, but destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God of Israel
commanded."

Joshua 11:6 The Lord orders horses to be hamstrung. (Exceedingly cruel.)

Joshua 11:8-15 "And the lord gave them into the hand of Israel, ...utterly
destroying them; there was none left that breathed ...."

Joshua 11:20 "For it was the Lord's doing to harden their hearts that they
should come against Israel in battle, in order that they should be utterly
destroyed, and should receive no mercy but be exterminated, as the Lord
commanded Moses."

Joshua 11:21-23 Joshua utterly destroys the Anakim.

Judges 1:4 With the Lord's support, Judah defeats 10,000 Canaanites at Bezek.

Judges 1:6 With the Lord's approval, Judah pursues Adoni-bezek, catches him, and
cuts off his thumbs and big toes.

Judges 1:8 With the Lord's approval, Judah smites Jerusalem.

Judges 1:17 With the Lord's approval, Judah and Simeon utterly destroy the
Canaanites who inhabited Zephath.

Judges 3:29 The Israelites kill about 10,000 Moabites.

Judges 3:31 (A restatement.) Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an oxgoad.

Judges 4:21 Jael takes a tent stake and hammers it through the head of Sisera,
fastening it to the ground.

Judges 7:19-25 The Gideons defeat the Midianites, slay their princes, cut off
their heads, and bring the heads back to Gideon.

Judges 8:15-21 The Gideons slaughter the men of Penuel.

Judges 9:5 Abimalech murders his brothers.

Judges 9:45 Abimalech and his men kill all the people in the city.

Judges 9:53-54 "A woman dropped a stone on his head and cracked his skull.
Hurriedly he called to his armor-bearer, 'Draw your sword and kill me, so that
they can't say a woman killed me.' So his servant ran him through, and he died."

Judges 11:29-39 Jepthah sacrifices his beloved daughter, his only child,
according to a vow he has made with the Lord.

Judges 14:19 The Spirit of the Lord comes upon a man and causes him to slay
thirty men.

Judges 15:15 Samson slays 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass.

Judges 16:21 The Philistines gouge out Samson's eyes.

Judges 16:27-30 Samson, with the help of the Lord, pulls down the pillars of the
Philistine house and causes his own death and that of 3000 other men and women.

Judges 18:27 The Danites slay the quiet and unsuspecting people of Laish.

Judges 19:22-29 A group of sexual depraved men beat on the door of an old man's
house demanding that he turn over to them a male house guest. Instead, the old
man offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine (or wife): "Behold,
here are my virgin daughter and his concubine; let me bring them out now. Ravish
them and do with them what seems good to you; but against this man do not do so
vile a thing." The man's concubine is ravished and dies. The man then cuts her
body into twelve pieces and sends one piece to each of the twelve tribes of
Israel.

Judges 20:43-48 The Israelites smite 25,000+ "men of valor" from amongst the
Benjamites, "men and beasts and all that they found," and set their towns on
fire.

Judges 21:10-12 "... Go and smite the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead with the edge
of the sword and; also the women and little ones.... every male and every woman
that has lain with a male you shall utterly destroy." They do so and find four
hundred young virgins whom they bring back for their own use.

1 Samuel 6:19 God kills seventy men (or so) for looking into the Ark (at him?).
(Note: The early Israelites apparently thought the Ark to be God's abode.)

1 Samuel 7:7-11 Samuel and his men smite the Philistines.

1 Samuel 11:11 With the Lord's blessing, Saul and his men cut down the
Ammonites.

1 Samuel 14:31 Jonathan and his men strike down the Philistines.

1 Samuel 14:48 Saul smites the Amalekites.

1 Samuel 15:3, 7-8 "This is what the Lord says: Now go and smite Amalek, and
utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and
woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass ....' And Saul ...
utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword."

1 Samuel 15:33 "Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the Lord ...."

1 Samuel 18:7 The women sing as they make merry: "Saul has slain his thousands
and David his ten thousands."

1 Samuel 18:27 David murders 200 Philistines, then cuts off their foreskins.

1 Samuel 30:17 David smites the Amalekites.

2 Samuel 2:23 Abner kills Asahel.

2 Samuel 3:30 Joab and Abishai kill Abner.

2 Samuel 4:7-8 Rechan and Baanah kill Ish-bosheth, behead him, and take his head
to David.

2 Samuel 4:12 David has Rechan and Baanah killed, their hands and feet cut off,
and their bodies hanged by the pool at Hebron.

2 Samuel 5:25 "And David did as the Lord commanded him, and smote the
Philistines ...."

2 Samuel 6:2-23 Because she rebuked him for having exposed himself, Michal
(David's wife) was barren throughout her life.

2 Samuel 8:1-18 (A listing of some of David's murderous conquests.)

2 Samuel 8:4 David hamstrung all but a few of the horses.

2 Samuel 8:5 David slew 22,000 Syrians.

2 Samuel 8:6, 14 "The Lord gave victory to David wherever he went."

2 Samuel 8:13 David slew 18,000 Edomites in the valley of salt and made the rest
slaves.

2 Samuel 10:18 David slew 47,000+ Syrians.

2 Samuel 11:14-27 David has Uriah killed so that he can marry Uriah's wife,
Bathsheba.

2 Samuel 12:1, 19 The Lord strikes David's child dead for the sin that David has
committed.

2 Samuel 13:1-15 Amnon loves his sister Tamar, rapes her, then hates her.

2 Samuel 13:28-29 Absalom has Amnon murdered.

2 Samuel 18:6 -7 20,000 men are slaughtered at the battle in the forest of
Ephraim.

2 Samuel 18:15 Joab's men murder Absalom.

2 Samuel 20:10-12 Joab's men murder Amasa and leave him "... wallowing in his
own blood in the highway. And anyone who came by, seeing him, stopped."

2 Samuel 24:15 The Lord sends a pestilence on Israel that kills 70,000 men.

1 Kings 2:24-25 Solomon has Adonijah murdered.

1 Kings 2:29-34 Solomon has Joab murdered.

1 Kings 2:46 Solomon has Shime-i murdered.

1 Kings 13:15-24 A man is killed by a lion for eating bread and drinking water
in a place where the Lord had previously told him not to. This is in spite of
the fact that the man had subsequently been lied to by a prophet who told the
man that an angel of the Lord said that it would be alright to eat and drink
there.

1 Kings 20:29-30 The Israelites smite 100,000 Syrian soldiers in one day. A wall
falls on 27,000 remaining Syrians.

2 Kings 1:10-12 Fire from heaven comes down and consumes fifty men.

2 Kings 2:23-24 Forty-two children are mauled and killed, presumably according
to the will of God, for having jeered at a man of God.

2 Kings 5:27 Elisha curses Gehazi and his descendants forever with leprosy.

2 Kings 6:18-19 The Lord answers Elisha's prayer and strikes the Syrians with
blindness. Elisha tricks the blind Syrians and leads them to Samaria.

2 Kings 6:29 "So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, 'Give
up your son so we may eat him,' but she had hidden him."

2 Kings 9:24 Jehu tricks and murders Joram.

2 Kings 9:27 Jehu has Ahaziah killed.

2 Kings 9:30-37 Jehu has Jezebel killed. Her body is trampled by horses. Dogs
eat her flesh so that only her skull, feet, and the palms of her hands remain.

2 Kings 10:7 Jehu has Ahab's seventy sons beheaded, then sends the heads to
their father.

2 Kings 10:14 Jehu has forty-two of Ahab's kin killed.

2 Kings 10:17 "And when he came to Samaria, he slew all that remained to Ahab in
Samaria, till he had wiped them out, according to the word of the Lord ...."

2 Kings 10:19-27 Jehu uses trickery to massacre the Baal worshippers.

2 Kings 11:1 Athaliah destroys all the royal family.

2 Kings 14:5, 7 Amaziah kills his servants and then 10,000 Edomites.

2 Kings 15:3-5 Even though he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, the
Lord smites Azariah with leprosy for not having removed the "high places."

2 Kings 15:16 Menahem ripped open all the women who were pregnant.

2 Kings 19:35 An angel of the Lord kills 185,000 men.

1 Chronicles 20:3 (KJV) "And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut
them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes."

2 Chronicles 13:17 500,000 Israelites are slaughtered.

2 Chronicles 21:4 Jehoram slays all his brothers.

Psalms 137:9 Happy will be the man who dashes your little ones against the
stones.

Psalms 144:1 God is praised as the one who trains hands for war and fingers for
battle.

Isaiah 13:15 "Everyone who is captured will be thrust through; all who are
caught will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed to pieces before
their eyes; their ... wives will be ravished."

Isaiah 13:18 "Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall
have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eye shall not spare children."

Isaiah 14:21-22 "Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their
fathers."

Isaiah 49:26 The Lord will cause the oppressors of the Israelite's to eat their
own flesh and to become drunk on their own blood as with wine.

Jeremiah 16:4 "They shall die grievous deaths; they shall not be lamented;
neither shall they be buried; but they shall be as dung upon the face of the
earth: and they shall be consumed by the sword, and by famine; and their
carcasses shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the
earth."

Lamentations 4:9-10 "Those slain by the sword are better off than those who die
of famine; racked with hunger, they waste away for lack of food. ... pitiful
women have cooked their own children, who became their food ..."

Ezekiel 6:12-13 The Lord says: "... they will fall by the sword, famine and
plague. He that is far away will die of the plague, and he that is near will
fall by the sword, and he that survives and is spared will die of famine. So
will I spend my wrath upon them. And they will know I am the Lord, when the
people lie slain among their idols around their altars, on every high hill and
on all the mountaintops, under every spreading tree and every leafy oak ...."

Ezekiel 9:4-6 The Lord commands: "... slay old men outright, young men and
maidens, little children and women ...."

Ezekiel 20:26 In order that he might horrify them, the Lord allowed the
Israelites to defile themselves through, amongst other things, the sacrifice of
their first-born children.

Ezekiel 21:3-4 The Lord says that he will cut off both the righteous and the
wicked that his sword shall go against all flesh.

Ezekiel 23:25, 47 God is going to slay the sons and daughters of those who were
whores.

Ezekiel 23:34 "You shall ... pluck out your hair, and tear your breasts."

Hosea 13:16 "They shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in
pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up."

Micah 3:2-3 "... who pluck off their skin ..., and their flesh from off their
bones; Who also eat the flesh of my people, and flay their skin from off them;
and they break their bones, and chop them in pieces, as for the pot, and as
flesh within the caldron."

Matthew 10:21 "... the brother shall deliver up his brother to death, and the
father his child, ... children shall rise up against their parents, and cause
them to be put to death."

Matthew 10:35-36 "For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter
against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law a man's enemies
will be the members of his own family."

Matthew 11:21-24 Jesus curses [the inhabitants of] three cities who were not
sufficiently impressed with his great works.


High Priestess Maxine Dietrich
http://www.joyofsatan.org


--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[diaynochecraig]

Better to discover the truth sooner than later. Do not wait for all to be lost, to see for yourself whether spiritual Satanism is a better alternative. Life has gotten better for me, but the love of my life is missing from the picture. I allowed myself to first lose what was most dear to my heart, before seriously pursuing Satanism. And I wish it did not take her death to finally catapult me into this Left-Hand Path I had been putting on hold. I wish I had known the truth while there was still time for us, that way I could have shared the joy of Satan with her before it was too late.

Be strong, and I wish beautiful things for you and those you love.
In Satan.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[darrklady13]

Keep learning, keep growing, GIVE AWAY THE GUILT!!!

RELINQUISH THE FEAR TO NOTHINGNESS. There is nothing to fear. The god of the jews is not the real god of the gentiles.
Satan is the creator of man, given the gift of soul, life everlasting in the soul if we seek it.

Take the gift.
my facebook is monie flores in Lompoc, ca. Add me.

Open up spiritually. your on the road to enlightenment.

HAIL THE GODS OF HELL

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian

--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM

  Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

 

[junrails]

Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.

Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.

You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined.It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.

Hail Father Satan.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[lunazshadow]

I grew up within the baptist church yet always felt drawn to things and directions that I was taught were evil and forbidden and punishible by eternal damnation.I gradually felt myself fiding more and more truth unfolding each time I let myself read or listen to anything involving Father.I began to open my eyes along with my heart and finally listen to what it was telling me. I dedicated on October 6,2010 after years of being terrified of pulling away from the god I had known my entire life and had once loved completely. The same god who let people suffer unjustly and was told it was his will. I found this site and have learned from so many on here and have felt the amazing and accepting love of Father. Just open your heart and spirit and let the path present itself to you.Father would never expect you to do anything that isnt natural for you.I wish you the best on your path of self discovery.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of
my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian


--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM
















 









Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.

I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.

By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.

I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.

I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.

However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.

For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.

I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.

Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?

It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.

I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?

I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.

Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.

Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Great advice Morning Star,I too had to do many blasphemy rituals,to rid myself of that foul holy spirit.Very cathartic,and cleansing for the soul.
Hail Satan!
Brian 

--- On Wed, 6/15/11, Morning Star <morning_star87@... wrote:

From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wednesday, June 15, 2011, 6:29 PM

  Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.

Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.

You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined.It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.

Hail Father Satan.

--- [/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

 

[Allison P]

Ave Mike! I can't imagine how hard this was for you, as I was never
raised xian. I wasn't realy raised anything. Lol. Anyway, you must
make this choice yourself. No one can do it for you. Fear is your
enemy. It is also one of the tactics the xian entities love to employ
to keep their followers YOU MUST FIGHT IT! I understand that you are
frightened; after years of indoctrination and expectation, you are at
last starting to realize the truth. If you truly want to be with
Satan, you will dedicate to him when the time is right. You'll know
when that time is. There's no rush.

Satan does indeed help and protect his own. However, and you've read
at least part of the Jos site, understand that in the end he wishes us
to be self-sufficient through power meditation and empowering our
souls. He doesn't ever leave his people out to dry though, not if
we're in desperate need. And Father will never, never ask you to give
up a person youy love just because they are not with him. That is
something yahweh/jehova seems to delight in, but Satan/Enki does not
do things like that. Blasphemous rituals aren't a bad idea. You could
try the exorcism of jehova:

http://gblt.webs.com/Exorcism_of_Jehova.htm

In any case, I wish you the best of success in finding your true path.
I for one would be glad to call you Brother, but you must take the
step yourself. You can always speak to Satan, you know. You don't have
to be dedicated. Just open your heart and ask if your place is truly
by his side. The answer might surprise you. Hail Father Satan always!

Ceridwyn

On 6/16/11, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:
Great advice Morning Star,I too had to do many blasphemy rituals,to rid
myself of that foul holy spirit.Very cathartic,and cleansing for the soul.
Hail Satan!
Brian

--- On Wed, 6/15/11, Morning Star <morning_star87@... wrote:

From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Wednesday, June 15, 2011, 6:29 PM


























Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we
find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might
still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do
need to cast it out.



Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human
to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual
thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.



I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as
well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.



You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective
of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and
their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and
study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with
the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.



Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you
imagined.It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship
Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to
achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of
Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is
essential.

However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do
intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get
punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no
apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.



Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather
dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a
better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them.
It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather
capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.Certainly, with Father Satan
and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.



I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is
rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.

Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't
stop moving forward.



Hail Father Satan.



--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@...
wrote:



Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my
first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I
will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my
feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express
these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.

I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading,
please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per
say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual
choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to
the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of
11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by
my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon
in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly
considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen
circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had
been recommend for.

By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning,
although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and
life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my
God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any,
and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly
abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me
when I needed him the most.

I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once
trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later,
while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an
even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which
I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in
every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.

I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest
cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen
spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my
god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and
things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of
a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and
suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my
hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No
justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was
trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened
naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.

However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic
which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research
websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for
research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them,
particulary this site.

For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I
can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was
content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense
sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought
for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from
following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at
my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.

I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to
go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God
terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that
rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction
by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle
to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not
completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at
my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of
rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.

Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read
on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the
things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once
one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for
those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will
be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in
two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something
better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought
before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help
us despite our most earnest cries?

It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write
something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would
have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter
not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring"
would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was
not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again,
but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some
type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral
projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and
many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil",
although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as
to why.

I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it
was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In
fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben
"off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity?
Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others,
display his power and help those he says he loves?

I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to
continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get
away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In
all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will
accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving
away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings
before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no
longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense
strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking
steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know
what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard
for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been
impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move
closer.

Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I
love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose
Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me.
I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the
christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already
broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else
I love...I have lost too much already.

Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only
7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on
the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the
rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible
lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am
torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Mike Arnold]

I sent a personal reply to Maxine, but also wanted to thank her for response on the open forum, as well.  Thank you.

From: High Priestess Maxine Dietrich <maxine.dietrich@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 6:28:30 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

 
We have several other ex-Christian ministry here in this e-group who have found the truth.
The following is a reply I sent to a member who was having some of the same
issues that you are having now. 'God' and the 'Devil' are backwards. Many are finding this truth now, but for a lot of others, they will want to join on at the last minute and it will be too late for them.
Here it is:

Have you studied http://www.exposingchristianity.com ?

You have already answered some of your own questions in your post below. Your problem seems to be listening to and believing the lies that xians and others push upon you, instead of thinking for and seeing things for yourself.

If one would look with open eyes, it is glaringly obvious who really hates
humanity. 'Jehova' hates nearly EVERYTHING about humanity. For proof, just look to all of the so-called 'sins' listed in the bible. Everything of human nature is a 'sin.'

The bible is chock full of 'flaws.' Because it is a lie, it is full of
contradictions. The truth does not contradict itself. In addition, the bible conflicts with science, history, geology, astronomy and many other disciplines of study and inquiry; Satanism does NOT. Satanism does not suppress any free thought or discourage any questions. Satanism SUPPORTS science and scientific inquiry, knowledge and education.

During the Dark Ages when christianity was at its full power, reading, writing and science were severely oppressed. Galileo was persecuted by the christian church for his discovery that the planets and the earth revolved around the sun.The penalty for free thought was torture and death.

Also, I am posting this again from another post regarding scripture and the
bible- after reading the scriptures below, now tell me who is REALLY a deceiver and a liar AND WHO REALLY HATES HUMANITY- HIS MURDER OF HUMAN INFANTS:

Through years of study, I have discovered many of the ancients left hidden
messages in the bible, in paintings, and in other works. It is glaringly obvious the bible was composed under force [which is what xians use; they never take NO for an answer].

One of those messages was that the REAL evil one 'was a murderer and a liar from the beginning.' We all know the nazarene is fictitious:
http://www.exposingchristianity.com/Jesus_Christ.htm

The point being, that biblical verse is one where there is a hidden message.

Now- reply to any xian with this and you will more than likely get a bunch of double-talk, as xians tie into lying deceitful energy, they begin to look like the lie that they are [the zombie-like smiley face], and many who are real far gone will bold face lie to push the enemy agenda. Many documents over the centuries have been altered to promote the xian agenda.

Now, as for the above biblical verse, it is glaringly obvious.
WHO DID SATAN EVER MURDER TO ORDER OTHERS TO MURDER?? NO ONE.

Even that foul nazarene ordered others:
Luke 19:27 - But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

What xians call 'God' and the 'Devil' are actually backwards. The TRUE EVIL
wrote that filthy bible. It is also very apparent that the evil monster jewhova
HATES ANYTHING HUMAN.

Now, as for the murderous monster this 'jehova' was:
[the following was taken from http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/ ... ocity.html]

Genesis 34:13-29 The Israelites kill Hamor, his son, and all the men of their
village, taking as plunder their wealth, cattle, wives and children.

Genesis 6:11-17, 7:11-24 God is unhappy with the wickedness of man and decides
to do something about it. He kills every living thing on the face of the earth
other than Noah's family and thereby makes himself the greatest mass murderer in
history.

Genesis 19:26 God personally sees to it that Lot's wife is turned to a pillar of
salt (for having looked behind her while fleeing the destruction of Sodom and
Gomorrah).

Genesis 38:9 "... whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen
on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was
wicked ..., so the Lord put him to death."

Exodus 9:22-25 A plague of hail from the Lord strikes down everything in the
fields of Egypt both man and beast except in Goshen where the Israelites reside.

Exodus 12:29 The Lord kills all the first-born in the land of Egypt.

Exodus 17:13 With the Lord's approval, Joshua mows down Amalek and his people.

Exodus 21:20-21 With the Lord's approval, a slave may be beaten to death with no
punishment for the perpetrator as long as the slave doesn't die too quickly.

Exodus 32:27 "Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate
to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his
companion, and every man his neighbor.

Exodus 32:27-29 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites slay 3000 men.

Leviticus 26:7-8 The Lord promises the Israelites that, if they are obedient,
their enemies will "fall before your sword."

Leviticus 26:22 "I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of
your children."

Leviticus 26:29, DT 28:53, JE 19:9, EZ 5:8-10 As a punishment, the Lord will
cause people to eat the flesh of their own sons and daughters and fathers and
friends.

Leviticus 27:29 Human sacrifice is condoned. (Note: An example is given in JG
11:30-39)

Numbers 11:33 The Lord smites the people with a great plague.

Numbers 12:1-10 God makes Miriam a leper for seven days because she and Aaron
had spoken against Moses.

Numbers 15:32-36 A Sabbath breaker (who had gathered sticks for a fire) is
stoned to death at the Lord's command.

Numbers 16:27-33 The Lord causes the earth to open and swallow up the men and
their households (including wives and children) because the men had been
rebellious.

Numbers 16:35 A fire from the Lord consumes 250 men.

Numbers 16:49 A plague from the Lord kills 14,700 people.

Numbers 21:3 The Israelites utterly destroy the Canaanites.

Numbers 21:35 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites slay Og "... and his sons
and all his people, until there was not one survivor left ...."

Numbers 25:4 (King James Version) "And the Lord said unto Moses, take all the
heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun ...."

Numbers 25:8 "He went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of
them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly."

Numbers 25:9 24,000 people die in a plague from the Lord.

Numbers 31:9 The Israelites capture Midianite women and children.

Numbers 31:17-18 Moses, following the Lord's command, orders the Israelites to
kill all the Midianite male children and "... every woman who has known man
...." (Note: How would it be determined which women had known men? One can only
speculate.)

Numbers 31:31-40 32,000 virgins are taken by the Israelites as booty. Thirty-two
are set aside (to be sacrificed?) as a tribute for the Lord.

Deuteronomy 2:33-34 The Israelites utterly destroy the men, women, and children
of Sihon.

Deuteronomy 3:6 The Israelites utterly destroy the men, women, and children of
Og.

Deuteronomy 7:2 The Lord commands the Israelites to "utterly destroy" and shown
"no mercy" to those whom he gives them for defeat.

Deuteronomy 20:13-14 "When the Lord delivers it into your hand, put to the sword
all the males .... As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything
else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves."

Deuteronomy 20:16 "In the cities of the nations the Lord is giving you as an
inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes."

Deuteronomy 21:10-13 With the Lord's approval, the Israelites are allowed to
take "beautiful women" from the enemy camp to be their captive wives. If, after
sexual relations, the husband has "no delight" in his wife, he can simply let
her go.

Deuteronomy 28:53 "You will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and
daughters the Lord your God has given you."

Joshua 1:1-9, 18 Joshua receives the Lord's blessing for all the bloody
endeavors to follow.

Joshua 6:21-27 With the Lord's approval, Joshua destroys the city of Jericho
men, women, and children with the edge of the sword.

Joshua 7:19-26 Achan, his children and his cattle are stoned to death because
Achan had taken a taboo thing.

Joshua 8:22-25 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly smites the people of Ai,
killing 12,000 men and women, so that there were none who escaped.

Joshua 10:10-27 With the help of the Lord, Joshua utterly destroys the
Gibeonites.

Joshua 10:28 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the people of
Makkedah.

Joshua 10:30 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Libnahites.

Joshua 10:32-33 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the people of
Lachish.

Joshua 10:34-35 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Eglonites.

Joshua 10:36-37 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the
Hebronites.

Joshua 10:38-39 With the Lord's approval, Joshua utterly destroys the Debirites.

Joshua 10:40 (A summary statement.) "So Joshua defeated the whole land ...; he
left none remaining, but destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God of Israel
commanded."

Joshua 11:6 The Lord orders horses to be hamstrung. (Exceedingly cruel.)

Joshua 11:8-15 "And the lord gave them into the hand of Israel, ...utterly
destroying them; there was none left that breathed ...."

Joshua 11:20 "For it was the Lord's doing to harden their hearts that they
should come against Israel in battle, in order that they should be utterly
destroyed, and should receive no mercy but be exterminated, as the Lord
commanded Moses."

Joshua 11:21-23 Joshua utterly destroys the Anakim.

Judges 1:4 With the Lord's support, Judah defeats 10,000 Canaanites at Bezek.

Judges 1:6 With the Lord's approval, Judah pursues Adoni-bezek, catches him, and
cuts off his thumbs and big toes.

Judges 1:8 With the Lord's approval, Judah smites Jerusalem.

Judges 1:17 With the Lord's approval, Judah and Simeon utterly destroy the
Canaanites who inhabited Zephath.

Judges 3:29 The Israelites kill about 10,000 Moabites.

Judges 3:31 (A restatement.) Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an oxgoad.

Judges 4:21 Jael takes a tent stake and hammers it through the head of Sisera,
fastening it to the ground.

Judges 7:19-25 The Gideons defeat the Midianites, slay their princes, cut off
their heads, and bring the heads back to Gideon.

Judges 8:15-21 The Gideons slaughter the men of Penuel.

Judges 9:5 Abimalech murders his brothers.

Judges 9:45 Abimalech and his men kill all the people in the city.

Judges 9:53-54 "A woman dropped a stone on his head and cracked his skull.
Hurriedly he called to his armor-bearer, 'Draw your sword and kill me, so that
they can't say a woman killed me.' So his servant ran him through, and he died."

Judges 11:29-39 Jepthah sacrifices his beloved daughter, his only child,
according to a vow he has made with the Lord.

Judges 14:19 The Spirit of the Lord comes upon a man and causes him to slay
thirty men.

Judges 15:15 Samson slays 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass.

Judges 16:21 The Philistines gouge out Samson's eyes.

Judges 16:27-30 Samson, with the help of the Lord, pulls down the pillars of the
Philistine house and causes his own death and that of 3000 other men and women.

Judges 18:27 The Danites slay the quiet and unsuspecting people of Laish.

Judges 19:22-29 A group of sexual depraved men beat on the door of an old man's
house demanding that he turn over to them a male house guest. Instead, the old
man offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine (or wife): "Behold,
here are my virgin daughter and his concubine; let me bring them out now. Ravish
them and do with them what seems good to you; but against this man do not do so
vile a thing." The man's concubine is ravished and dies. The man then cuts her
body into twelve pieces and sends one piece to each of the twelve tribes of
Israel.

Judges 20:43-48 The Israelites smite 25,000+ "men of valor" from amongst the
Benjamites, "men and beasts and all that they found," and set their towns on
fire.

Judges 21:10-12 "... Go and smite the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead with the edge
of the sword and; also the women and little ones.... every male and every woman
that has lain with a male you shall utterly destroy." They do so and find four
hundred young virgins whom they bring back for their own use.

1 Samuel 6:19 God kills seventy men (or so) for looking into the Ark (at him?).
(Note: The early Israelites apparently thought the Ark to be God's abode.)

1 Samuel 7:7-11 Samuel and his men smite the Philistines.

1 Samuel 11:11 With the Lord's blessing, Saul and his men cut down the
Ammonites.

1 Samuel 14:31 Jonathan and his men strike down the Philistines.

1 Samuel 14:48 Saul smites the Amalekites.

1 Samuel 15:3, 7-8 "This is what the Lord says: Now go and smite Amalek, and
utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and
woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass ....' And Saul ...
utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword."

1 Samuel 15:33 "Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the Lord ...."

1 Samuel 18:7 The women sing as they make merry: "Saul has slain his thousands
and David his ten thousands."

1 Samuel 18:27 David murders 200 Philistines, then cuts off their foreskins.

1 Samuel 30:17 David smites the Amalekites.

2 Samuel 2:23 Abner kills Asahel.

2 Samuel 3:30 Joab and Abishai kill Abner.

2 Samuel 4:7-8 Rechan and Baanah kill Ish-bosheth, behead him, and take his head
to David.

2 Samuel 4:12 David has Rechan and Baanah killed, their hands and feet cut off,
and their bodies hanged by the pool at Hebron.

2 Samuel 5:25 "And David did as the Lord commanded him, and smote the
Philistines ...."

2 Samuel 6:2-23 Because she rebuked him for having exposed himself, Michal
(David's wife) was barren throughout her life.

2 Samuel 8:1-18 (A listing of some of David's murderous conquests.)

2 Samuel 8:4 David hamstrung all but a few of the horses.

2 Samuel 8:5 David slew 22,000 Syrians.

2 Samuel 8:6, 14 "The Lord gave victory to David wherever he went."

2 Samuel 8:13 David slew 18,000 Edomites in the valley of salt and made the rest
slaves.

2 Samuel 10:18 David slew 47,000+ Syrians.

2 Samuel 11:14-27 David has Uriah killed so that he can marry Uriah's wife,
Bathsheba.

2 Samuel 12:1, 19 The Lord strikes David's child dead for the sin that David has
committed.

2 Samuel 13:1-15 Amnon loves his sister Tamar, rapes her, then hates her.

2 Samuel 13:28-29 Absalom has Amnon murdered.

2 Samuel 18:6 -7 20,000 men are slaughtered at the battle in the forest of
Ephraim.

2 Samuel 18:15 Joab's men murder Absalom.

2 Samuel 20:10-12 Joab's men murder Amasa and leave him "... wallowing in his
own blood in the highway. And anyone who came by, seeing him, stopped."

2 Samuel 24:15 The Lord sends a pestilence on Israel that kills 70,000 men.

1 Kings 2:24-25 Solomon has Adonijah murdered.

1 Kings 2:29-34 Solomon has Joab murdered.

1 Kings 2:46 Solomon has Shime-i murdered.

1 Kings 13:15-24 A man is killed by a lion for eating bread and drinking water
in a place where the Lord had previously told him not to. This is in spite of
the fact that the man had subsequently been lied to by a prophet who told the
man that an angel of the Lord said that it would be alright to eat and drink
there.

1 Kings 20:29-30 The Israelites smite 100,000 Syrian soldiers in one day. A wall
falls on 27,000 remaining Syrians.

2 Kings 1:10-12 Fire from heaven comes down and consumes fifty men.

2 Kings 2:23-24 Forty-two children are mauled and killed, presumably according
to the will of God, for having jeered at a man of God.

2 Kings 5:27 Elisha curses Gehazi and his descendants forever with leprosy.

2 Kings 6:18-19 The Lord answers Elisha's prayer and strikes the Syrians with
blindness. Elisha tricks the blind Syrians and leads them to Samaria.

2 Kings 6:29 "So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, 'Give
up your son so we may eat him,' but she had hidden him."

2 Kings 9:24 Jehu tricks and murders Joram.

2 Kings 9:27 Jehu has Ahaziah killed.

2 Kings 9:30-37 Jehu has Jezebel killed. Her body is trampled by horses. Dogs
eat her flesh so that only her skull, feet, and the palms of her hands remain.

2 Kings 10:7 Jehu has Ahab's seventy sons beheaded, then sends the heads to
their father.

2 Kings 10:14 Jehu has forty-two of Ahab's kin killed.

2 Kings 10:17 "And when he came to Samaria, he slew all that remained to Ahab in
Samaria, till he had wiped them out, according to the word of the Lord ...."

2 Kings 10:19-27 Jehu uses trickery to massacre the Baal worshippers.

2 Kings 11:1 Athaliah destroys all the royal family.

2 Kings 14:5, 7 Amaziah kills his servants and then 10,000 Edomites.

2 Kings 15:3-5 Even though he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, the
Lord smites Azariah with leprosy for not having removed the "high places."

2 Kings 15:16 Menahem ripped open all the women who were pregnant.

2 Kings 19:35 An angel of the Lord kills 185,000 men.

1 Chronicles 20:3 (KJV) "And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut
them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes."

2 Chronicles 13:17 500,000 Israelites are slaughtered.

2 Chronicles 21:4 Jehoram slays all his brothers.

Psalms 137:9 Happy will be the man who dashes your little ones against the
stones.

Psalms 144:1 God is praised as the one who trains hands for war and fingers for
battle.

Isaiah 13:15 "Everyone who is captured will be thrust through; all who are
caught will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed to pieces before
their eyes; their ... wives will be ravished."

Isaiah 13:18 "Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall
have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eye shall not spare children."

Isaiah 14:21-22 "Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their
fathers."

Isaiah 49:26 The Lord will cause the oppressors of the Israelite's to eat their
own flesh and to become drunk on their own blood as with wine.

Jeremiah 16:4 "They shall die grievous deaths; they shall not be lamented;
neither shall they be buried; but they shall be as dung upon the face of the
earth: and they shall be consumed by the sword, and by famine; and their
carcasses shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the
earth."

Lamentations 4:9-10 "Those slain by the sword are better off than those who die
of famine; racked with hunger, they waste away for lack of food. ... pitiful
women have cooked their own children, who became their food ..."

Ezekiel 6:12-13 The Lord says: "... they will fall by the sword, famine and
plague. He that is far away will die of the plague, and he that is near will
fall by the sword, and he that survives and is spared will die of famine. So
will I spend my wrath upon them. And they will know I am the Lord, when the
people lie slain among their idols around their altars, on every high hill and
on all the mountaintops, under every spreading tree and every leafy oak ...."

Ezekiel 9:4-6 The Lord commands: "... slay old men outright, young men and
maidens, little children and women ...."

Ezekiel 20:26 In order that he might horrify them, the Lord allowed the
Israelites to defile themselves through, amongst other things, the sacrifice of
their first-born children.

Ezekiel 21:3-4 The Lord says that he will cut off both the righteous and the
wicked that his sword shall go against all flesh.

Ezekiel 23:25, 47 God is going to slay the sons and daughters of those who were
whores.

Ezekiel 23:34 "You shall ... pluck out your hair, and tear your breasts."

Hosea 13:16 "They shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in
pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up."

Micah 3:2-3 "... who pluck off their skin ..., and their flesh from off their
bones; Who also eat the flesh of my people, and flay their skin from off them;
and they break their bones, and chop them in pieces, as for the pot, and as
flesh within the caldron."

Matthew 10:21 "... the brother shall deliver up his brother to death, and the
father his child, ... children shall rise up against their parents, and cause
them to be put to death."

Matthew 10:35-36 "For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter
against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law a man's enemies
will be the members of his own family."

Matthew 11:21-24 Jesus curses [the inhabitants of] three cities who were not
sufficiently impressed with his great works.

High Priestess Maxine Dietrich
http://www.joyofsatan.org

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Mike Arnold]

Thanks for the encouragement.

From: tigirus <tigirus@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 6:14:26 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Mike Arnold]

       Thanks, Brian...I really appreciate the response.  It's good to know that there is someone else who went through the same stuff I am and who can relate to what I am feeling and experiencing.

From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 11:15:26 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] struggling

 

<td vAl[/IMG]Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian

--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM

  Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

 

[Mike Arnold]

My response is in blue print below.

From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 2:29:42 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.
This must be the case, as I have no other explanation for the "war" I am currently experiencing.[/B]
Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.
Thank you.[/B]
You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined. I may have given the wrong idea in my original post, so just to clarify, I was not expecting Satan to fix all my problems or supply me with riches and wealth.  No...not at all.  More than anything, after years of being promised their was a God who loved me and was looking out for me.....only to be left out to dry more times than I can recall...I was simply hoping there was a god who actually cared and would try to help when we find ourselves in problems which are serious and beyond our control.  Even then, I understand that bad things will happen...they are a regular part of life and I do not wish to avoid them all...but to know that someone actually really does care and won't just sit back and watch someone suffer when they are in desperate need...that would be very valuable.  [/B]  [/B] [/B]  It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
One of the things I am drawn to more than anything is the pursuit of spiritual development; capability.  Wtchcraft and developing the abilities of the mind is extremely fascinating to me and sine childhood, I have ben drawn to it, but told I could not pursue it because it would land me in hell, regardless of the cause.  I have sensed a very strong pull in that direction for many years and it was probably the first thing that began to draw me towards satanism in the first place.  Becoming adept at magick to the utmost degree has always been my desire...a very strong desire.  However, through reading Maxine's and other peopels writings, I understand that pursuing stanic witchcraft prior to dedication is not wise.[/B] However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves. That sounds good to me.  I don't want to depend on others when it is posible to do things myself.  With christianity, the follower is required to depend on the chrsitian god for their needs, while at the same time they are not permitted to develop their own personal power in any of the ways that satanism offfers.  It is like an intentional disadvantge, preventing the follower from being self-empowdered when it comes to any spiritual matter.[/B]   Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.
Thanks.[/B]
Hail Father Satan.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Mike Arnold]

Thank you so much for the encouragment and sharing your personal experiences.

From: lunazshadow <motherwolff3@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 3:13:25 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  I grew up within the baptist church yet always felt drawn to things and directions that I was taught were evil and forbidden and punishible by eternal damnation.I gradually felt myself fiding more and more truth unfolding each time I let myself read or listen to anything involving Father.I began to open my eyes along with my heart and finally listen to what it was telling me. I dedicated on October 6,2010 after years of being terrified of pulling away from the god I had known my entire life and had once loved completely. The same god who let people suffer unjustly and was told it was his will. I found this site and have learned from so many on here and have felt the amazing and accepting love of Father. Just open your heart and spirit and let the path present itself to you.Father would never expect you to do anything that isnt natural for you.I wish you the best on your path of self discovery.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff
--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims

she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of

my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian


--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM
















 









Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.

I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and

by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.

By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.

I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still

holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.

I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed

inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.

However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.

For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.

I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely

on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.

Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will

be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?

It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is

truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.

I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?

I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have

never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.

Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to

give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.

Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Mike Arnold]

       Thanks for the encouragment...much appreciated.  Maybe now I'll open a face book account (yes, I am one of the few who does not have one)
.
From: darrklady13 <darkladyschild@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 3:01:18 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  Keep learning, keep growing, GIVE AWAY THE GUILT!!!

RELINQUISH THE FEAR TO NOTHINGNESS. There is nothing to fear. The god of the jews is not the real god of the gentiles.
Satan is the creator of man, given the gift of soul, life everlasting in the soul if we seek it.

Take the gift.
my facebook is monie flores in Lompoc, ca. Add me.

Open up spiritually. your on the road to enlightenment.

HAIL THE GODS OF HELL

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Mike Arnold]

       Thanks for the response.  I have slowly been breaking through this wall.  For those who have not experienced it, it can be overwhelming at times, but one thing which has helped quite a bit (and was largely responsible for bringing me to my current point) is exposing myself to regular stantic content, particulary on the JOS website.          Also, I have had great difficulty discerning spiritual influence and intent as of late.  All my beliefs have been turned nearly upside down, which makes discernent immensely difficult.  The spirits I once thought were "evil" now seem much different to me, as if I had previously had the blinders pulled down over my eyes.  In the past, I had always seen everything as black @ white when relying on the one-sided christian point of view, but previous explanations now seem grosly off-base and inaccurate, primarily due to recent experiences whuich conflict with these previous perspectives.  The funny thing is that while the old perspectives seemed to proceed from what I was "taught", the new perspectives proceed from what I have "experienced".         I cannot define the change which is taking place, nor how it came to be, but things are changing.  It's true that I am still afraid...not a fear based on rational or logic (as logic testifies against previously my learned teachings), but more of an inner feeling; tremnedous inner turmoil which doesn't seem to make sense.  Still, I cannot deny that the fear is waning.  It is still strong, but it is not nearly as strong as it once was.  There are even short moments were I percieve no fear at all, but they are short-lived, at which point i am slammed with another wave of fear.         I realize that this does not make sense, but I am trying.  
From: "amnaelhenry@..." <amnaelhenry@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 11:49:18 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  Listen to what you just said. You basically have answered your own question but your to scared to admit it. This is why they invinted the Christian version of Hell , to make you to scared to think clearly.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "tigirus" <tigirus@... wrote:

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Hail Satan Brother!

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:23 AM

  Thank you so much for the encouragment and sharing your personal experiences.

From: lunazshadow <motherwolff3@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 3:13:25 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  I grew up within the baptist church yet always felt drawn to things and directions that I was taught were evil and forbidden and punishible by eternal damnation.I gradually felt myself fiding more and more truth unfolding each time I let myself read or listen to anything involving Father.I began to open my eyes along with my heart and finally listen to what it was telling me. I dedicated on October 6,2010 after years of being terrified of pulling away from the god I had known my entire life and had once loved completely. The same god who let people suffer unjustly and was told it was his will. I found this site and have learned from so many on here and have felt the amazing and accepting love of Father. Just open your heart and spirit and let the path present itself to you.Father would never expect you to do anything that isnt natural for you.I wish you the best on your path of self discovery.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff
--- In <a rel="nofollow" >JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of
my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian


--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: <a rel="nofollow">JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM
















 









Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.

I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.

By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.

I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.

I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.

However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.

For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.

I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.

Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?

It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.

I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?

I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.

Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.

Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Greetings Mike,
Excuse me for butting in,when you were actually talking to Morning Star.And excuse me to Sister,but I do have something to say Mike.I have been a non-xtian for over 16 years now.And been into the occult for 15 years.And all I can share is my experience that I had,because lets face it,that's really all we have is our experiences.When I came to Father Satan,even after practicing,what I thought was witchcraft,I had no idea what to expect.Because even as a witch,I heard a lot of negative things about Satan.But after reading the Satanic Bible(I purchased it at a well known book store,though it is far from the truth too)I made a (what I called a blood pact) with Satan.I still didn't know any better,and was still into the xtian form of Satanism.Anyway even though I did it wrong,and even for the wrong reasons,Father still excepted me as one of His own.That's why it isn't as important how you dedicate,just that you do.Anyway,the next night I was sitting in my bedroom,and I heard these voices say,"YOU ARE OURS NOW,AND YOU WILL BE PROTECTED FROM NOW ON" And let me tell you Mike,I have never felt such a loving,trustworthy,compassionate,being as our Father is.But my point in saying this all to you is,there is nothing anyone of us can tell you,that will convince you,until you experience it for yourself.And I promise He is there waiting with open arms for you.
Hail Satan!
Brian   

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:19 AM

  My response is in blue print below.

From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 2:29:42 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.
This must be the case, as I have no other explanation for the "war" I am currently experiencing.[/B]
Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.
Thank you.[/B]
You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined. I may have given the wrong idea in my original post, so just to clarify, I was not expecting Satan to fix all my problems or supply me with riches and wealth.  No...not at all.  More than anything, after years of being promised their was a God who loved me and was looking out for me.....only to be left out to dry more times than I can recall...I was simply hoping there was a god who actually cared and would try to help when we find ourselves in problems which are serious and beyond our control.  Even then, I understand that bad things will happen...they are a regular part of life and I do not wish to avoid them all...but to know that someone actually really does care and won't just sit back and watch someone suffer when they are in desperate need...that would be very valuable.  [/B]  [/B] [/B]  It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
One of the things I am drawn to more than anything is the pursuit of spiritual development; capability.  Wtchcraft and developing the abilities of the mind is extremely fascinating to me and sine childhood, I have ben drawn to it, but told I could not pursue it because it would land me in hell, regardless of the cause.  I have sensed a very strong pull in that direction for many years and it was probably the first thing that began to draw me towards satanism in the first place.  Becoming adept at magick to the utmost degree has always been my desire...a very strong desire.  However, through reading Maxine's and other peopels writings, I understand that pursuing stanic witchcraft prior to dedication is not wise.[/B] However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves. That sounds good to me.  I don't want to depend on others when it is posible to do things myself.  With christianity, the follower is required to depend on the chrsitian god for their needs, while at the same time they are not permitted to develop their own personal power in any of the ways that satanism offfers.  It is like an intentional disadvantge, preventing the follower from being self-empowdered when it comes to any spiritual matter.[/B]   Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.
Thanks.[/B]
Hail Father Satan.

--- [/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Been there,done that,but still like the Satanic T shirt better. LOL
Hail Satan!
Brian

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 9:40 AM

         Thanks, Brian...I really appreciate the response.  It's good to know that there is someone else who went through the same stuff I am and who can relate to what I am feeling and experiencing.

From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 11:15:26 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] struggling

 

<td val[/IMG]Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian


--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM

  Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

[/TD]

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Yes Mike if you are seeing everything backwards,than you are finally seeing the real truth.
Hail Satan!
Brian

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 9:28 AM

         Thanks for the response.  I have slowly been breaking through this wall.  For those who have not experienced it, it can be overwhelming at times, but one thing which has helped quite a bit (and was largely responsible for bringing me to my current point) is exposing myself to regular stantic content, particulary on the JOS website.          Also, I have had great difficulty discerning spiritual influence and intent as of late.  All my beliefs have been turned nearly upside down, which makes discernent immensely difficult.  The spirits I once thought were "evil" now seem much different to me, as if I had previously had the blinders pulled down over my eyes.  In the past, I had always seen everything as black @ white when relying on the one-sided christian point of view, but previous explanations now seem grosly off-base and inaccurate, primarily due to recent experiences whuich conflict with these previous perspectives.  The funny thing is that while the old perspectives seemed to proceed from what I was "taught", the new perspectives proceed from what I have "experienced".         I cannot define the change which is taking place, nor how it came to be, but things are changing.  It's true that I am still afraid...not a fear based on rational or logic (as logic testifies against previously my learned teachings), but more of an inner feeling; tremnedous inner turmoil which doesn't seem to make sense.  Still, I cannot deny that the fear is waning.  It is still strong, but it is not nearly as strong as it once was.  There are even short moments were I percieve no fear at all, but they are short-lived, at which point i am slammed with another wave of fear.         I realize that this does not make sense, but I am trying.  
From: "amnaelhenry@..." <amnaelhenry@...
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 11:49:18 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

  Listen to what you just said. You basically have answered your own question but your to scared to admit it. This is why they invinted the Christian version of Hell , to make you to scared to think clearly.

--- [/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, "tigirus" <tigirus@... wrote:

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- [/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]

 

[Allison P]

The important thing, Mike, is that you are trying. Eventually, the
fear will dissipate, and you will be free. Free to pursue whatever it
is that you desire. Ave Satanas!

On 6/17/11, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:
Yes Mike if you are seeing everything backwards,than you are finally seeing
the real truth.
Hail Satan!
Brian
--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 9:28 AM


























       Thanks for the response.  I have slowly been breaking through
this wall.  For those who have not experienced it, it can be overwhelming at
times, but one thing which has helped quite a bit (and was largely
responsible for bringing me to my current point) is exposing myself to
regular stantic content, particulary on the JOS website.
       Also, I have had great difficulty discerning spiritual influence and
intent as of late.  All my beliefs have been turned nearly upside down,
which makes discernent immensely difficult.  The spirits I once thought were
"evil" now seem much different to me, as if I had previously had the
blinders pulled down over my eyes.  In the past, I had always seen
everything as black @ white when relying on the one-sided christian point of
view, but previous explanations now seem grosly off-base and inaccurate,
primarily due to recent experiences whuich conflict with these previous
perspectives.  The funny thing is that while the old perspectives seemed to
proceed from what I was "taught", the new perspectives proceed from what I
have "experienced".
       I cannot define the change which is taking place, nor how it came to
be, but things are changing.  It's true that I am still afraid...not a fear
based on rational or logic (as logic testifies against previously my learned
teachings), but more of an inner feeling; tremnedous inner turmoil which
doesn't seem to make sense.  Still, I cannot deny that the fear is waning.
It is still strong, but it is not nearly as strong as it once was.  There
are even short moments were I percieve no fear at all, but they are
short-lived, at which point i am slammed with another wave of fear.
       I realize that this does not make sense, but I am trying.





From: "amnaelhenry@..." <amnaelhenry@...
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 11:49:18 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling




Listen to what you just said. You basically have answered your own question
but your to scared to admit it. This is why they invinted the Christian
version of Hell , to make you to scared to think clearly.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "tigirus" <tigirus@... wrote:

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw
to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep
fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@
wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first
post here. I understand the following may be lengthy,
although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately
relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place
to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading,
please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per
say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual
choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to
the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of
11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by
my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a
deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had
strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to
unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor,
which I had been recommend
for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning,
although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and
life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged
my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if
any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt
truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back
on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once
trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later,
while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by
an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and
which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving
in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my
heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get
worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All
my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I
recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter
written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the
most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare.
Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and
justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my
own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have
happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic
which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research
websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for
research purposes, but
I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I
can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was
content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense
sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had
thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to
come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely
abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to
go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God
terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that
rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction
by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the
struggle to choose between the christian god
and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian
God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me
anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read
on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the
things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that
once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care
for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers
will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn
in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for
something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had
always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer
and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point
where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside
of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a
lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at
all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral
projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age
18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew
it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book
on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks
later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is
"evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate
explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it
was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In
fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has
ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity?
Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others,
display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to
continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to
get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me.
In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it
will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and
moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these
feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can
no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense
strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking
steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know
what to do to break out from where I am now. A
dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago
this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter
will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I
love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I
chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she
loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If
the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has
already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up
naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only
7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based
on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the
rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible
lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am
torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[darrklady13]

The turmoil and confusion you feel...I experienced it. We all have, to some degree when we discover the LIES THE FUCKING JEWS HAVE GIVEN US.

I became ANGRY. And I let the anger fuel me, my desire to know truth!!!! I studied, still am to this day! I still am angry!!

Use your rational guidance, your rational self interest, your rational thinking, and if you do this, YOU WILL SEE THAT THE BUYBULL IS LIES.

Don't forget to add me, and other satanist on fb. I am there almost daily.

HAIL THE GODS!!! FOR THEY HAVE SHOWN LIGHT TO ANOTHER BLIND CHILD!!!!

Ask yourself this: Are you a person of Jew origin or blood?
No? Then WHY HONOR A BOOK, A RELIGION THAT ISN'T YOURS???????

Ask a christian, they will say that jews are gods chosen people.
But your not jewish? why honor them?

YOU are not chosen???
But if you cut the skin off your penis, are you jewish??:?:
NO.!!

I use this example to gentiles to help them see it. Most times they look confused, stupid, like they didn't know before.

Now is your time to learn, Mike. Learn. Study. I ASSURE YOU, there is no fiery burning Hell of torment.

What god would do that to his beloved? And jewsus is a lie, a trick, a fabrication. How can one dead man, (jew) save the world with his blood?

Another human sacrifice!!!

Hell/Duat is a beautiful, cool, shining place of joy. Its peaceful, and has a blue haze...an atmosphere of sorts....

I followed a wormhole in space, in astral travel, and Astoroth brought me to that place described above.

I am excited to see another child come home to Satan!!!

see ya there, Monie.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

       Thanks for the response.  I have slowly been breaking through this wall. 
For those who have not experienced it, it can be overwhelming at times, but one
thing which has helped quite a bit (and was largely responsible for bringing me
to my current point) is exposing myself to regular stantic content, particulary
on the JOS website.  
       Also, I have had great difficulty discerning spiritual influence and
intent as of late.  All my beliefs have been turned nearly upside down, which
makes discernent immensely difficult.  The spirits I once thought were "evil"
now seem much different to me, as if I had previously had the blinders pulled
down over my eyes.  In the past, I had always seen everything as black @
white when relying on the one-sided christian point of view, but previous
explanations now seem grosly off-base and inaccurate, primarily due to recent
experiences whuich conflict with these previous perspectives.  The funny thing
is that while the old perspectives seemed to proceed from what I was "taught",
the new perspectives proceed from what I have "experienced". 
       I cannot define the change which is taking place, nor how it came to be,
but things are changing.  It's true that I am still afraid...not a fear based on
rational or logic (as logic testifies against previously my learned teachings),
but more of an inner feeling; tremnedous inner turmoil which doesn't seem to
make sense.  Still, I cannot deny that the fear is waning.  It is still strong,
but it is not nearly as strong as it once was.  There are even short moments
were I percieve no fear at all, but they are short-lived, at which point i am
slammed with another wave of fear. 

       I realize that this does not make sense, but I am trying.




________________________________
From: "amnaelhenry@..." <amnaelhenry@...
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 11:49:18 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling

 
Listen to what you just said. You basically have answered your own question but
your to scared to admit it. This is why they invinted the Christian version of
Hell , to make you to scared to think clearly.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "tigirus" <tigirus@ wrote:

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to
Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post
here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it
is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if
this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are
not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please
read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had
an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I
had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance,
I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my
early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my
home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered
becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not
assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although
still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing
event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with.
I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer
unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I
served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.

I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once
trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while
still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more
devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no
role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was
the true definition of injustice.

I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries
for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual
forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect
his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen
as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being
falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which
I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging
for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as
if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to
have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.

However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I
did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like
the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I
cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can
only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to
just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal
and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years.
Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I
did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which
has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go
down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies
me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means
enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has
been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the
christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the
christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping
me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on
your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god
had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan
that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does
he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will
be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we
speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me
like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer
and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like
this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the
christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears
to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a
child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then
again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I
only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a
book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks
later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is
"evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation
as to why.

I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was
very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost
everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a
christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god,
if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he
says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue
following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow
Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not
even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was
a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have
never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is
a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took
immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking
steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to
do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right
now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I
suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love
her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I
would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want
Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill
me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want
Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.

Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7
years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the
lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while
destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost
hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to
Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[lunazshadow]

Reading all these respinses of people seeing and feeling changes is making my day start out extremely wonderful.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Yes Mike if you are seeing everything backwards,than you are finally seeing the real truth.
Hail Satan!
Brian
--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 9:28 AM
















 









       Thanks for the response.  I have slowly been breaking through this wall.  For those who have not experienced it, it can be overwhelming at times, but one thing which has helped quite a bit (and was largely responsible for bringing me to my current point) is exposing myself to regular stantic content, particulary on the JOS website.  
       Also, I have had great difficulty discerning spiritual influence and intent as of late.  All my beliefs have been turned nearly upside down, which makes discernent immensely difficult.  The spirits I once thought were "evil" now seem much different to me, as if I had previously had the blinders pulled down over my eyes.  In the past, I had always seen everything as black @ white when relying on the one-sided christian point of view, but previous explanations now seem grosly off-base and inaccurate, primarily due to recent experiences whuich conflict with these previous perspectives.  The funny thing is that while the old perspectives seemed to proceed from what I was "taught", the new perspectives proceed from what I have "experienced". 
       I cannot define the change which is taking place, nor how it came to be, but things are changing.  It's true that I am still afraid...not a fear based on rational or logic (as logic testifies against previously my learned teachings), but more of an inner feeling; tremnedous inner turmoil which doesn't seem to make sense.  Still, I cannot deny that the fear is waning.  It is still strong, but it is not nearly as strong as it once was.  There are even short moments were I percieve no fear at all, but they are short-lived, at which point i am slammed with another wave of fear. 
       I realize that this does not make sense, but I am trying.
 




From: "amnaelhenry@..." <amnaelhenry@...
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Tue, June 14, 2011 11:49:18 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling


 

Listen to what you just said. You basically have answered your own question but your to scared to admit it. This is why they invinted the Christian version of Hell , to make you to scared to think clearly.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "tigirus" <tigirus@ wrote:

You already know the answer... Your fear is pre-programmed and your draw to Satan is a part of you. Dont let the fear control you, just keep fighting

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy,
although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.
For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend
for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my
heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but
I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god
and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point
where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has
ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A
dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible
lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[lunazshadow]

Gave me chills at the mention of when you heard them say that to you Brian. The intense love and acceptance I feel with Father is far more than I could ever describe versus the "conditional" love of the xtian god who punishes and often kills those who stray.I also saw Satanism as something dark and for others to fear as I had been taught most of my life.When I dedicated,the overwhelming feelings of love and protection washed over me and I was overcome with emotion that moved me to cleansing tears and laughter of intense joy.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Excuse me for butting in,when you were actually talking to Morning Star.And excuse me to Sister,but I do have something to say Mike.I have been a non-xtian for over 16 years now.And been into the occult for 15 years.And all I can share is my experience that I had,because lets face it,that's really all we have is our experiences.When I came to Father Satan,even after practicing,what I thought was witchcraft,I had no idea what to expect.Because even as a witch,I heard a lot of negative things about Satan.But after reading the Satanic Bible(I purchased it at a well known book store,though it is far from the truth too)I made a (what I called a blood pact) with Satan.I still didn't know any better,and was still into the xtian form of Satanism.Anyway even though I did it wrong,and even for the wrong reasons,Father still excepted me as one of His own.That's why it isn't as important how you dedicate,just that you do.Anyway,the next night I was sitting in my
bedroom,and I heard these voices say,"YOU ARE OURS NOW,AND YOU WILL BE PROTECTED FROM NOW ON" And let me tell you Mike,I have never felt such a loving,trustworthy,compassionate,being as our Father is.But my point in saying this all to you is,there is nothing anyone of us can tell you,that will convince you,until you experience it for yourself.And I promise He is there waiting with open arms for you.
Hail Satan!
Brian   

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:19 AM
















 









My response is in blue print below.





From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 2:29:42 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling


 

Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.
This must be the case, as I have no other explanation for the "war" I am currently experiencing.

Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.
Thank you.

You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined.
I may have given the wrong idea in my original post, so just to clarify, I was not expecting Satan to fix all my problems or supply me with riches and wealth.  No...not at all.  More than anything, after years of being promised their was a God who loved me and was looking out for me.....only to be left out to dry more times than I can recall...I was simply hoping there was a god who actually cared and would try to help when we find ourselves in problems which are serious and beyond our control.  Even then, I understand that bad things will happen...they are a regular part of life and I do not wish to avoid them all...but to know that someone actually really does care and won't just sit back and watch someone suffer when they are in desperate need...that would be very valuable.    
 
It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
One of the things I am drawn to more than anything is the pursuit of spiritual development; capability.  Wtchcraft and developing the abilities of the mind is extremely fascinating to me and sine childhood, I have ben drawn to it, but told I could not pursue it because it would land me in hell, regardless of the cause.  I have sensed a very strong pull in that direction for many years and it was probably the first thing that began to draw me towards satanism in the first place.  Becoming adept at magick to the utmost degree has always been my desire...a very strong desire.  However, through
reading Maxine's and other peopels writings, I understand that pursuing stanic witchcraft prior to dedication is not wise.
However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.
That sounds good to me.  I don't want to depend on others when it is posible to do things myself.  With christianity, the follower is required to depend on the chrsitian god for their needs, while at the same time they are not permitted to develop their own personal power in any of the ways that satanism offfers.  It is like an intentional disadvantge, preventing the follower from being self-empowdered when it comes to any spiritual matter.
 
Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.
Thanks.

Hail Father Satan.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued
to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god
was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am
struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these
questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times
since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never
verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up
naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[lunazshadow]

You are welcome.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Hail Satan Brother!

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:23 AM
















 









Thank you so much for the encouragment and sharing your personal experiences.





From: lunazshadow <motherwolff3@...
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 3:13:25 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling


 

I grew up within the baptist church yet always felt drawn to things and directions that I was taught were evil and forbidden and punishible by eternal damnation.I gradually felt myself fiding more and more truth unfolding each time I let myself read or listen to anything involving Father.I began to open my eyes along with my heart and finally listen to what it was telling me. I dedicated on October 6,2010 after years of being terrified of pulling away from the god I had known my entire life and had once loved completely. The same god who let people suffer unjustly and was told it was his will. I found this site and have learned from so many on here and have felt the amazing and accepting love of Father. Just open your heart and spirit and let the path present itself to you.Father would never expect you to do anything that isnt natural for you.I wish you the best on your path of self discovery.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff
--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Where do I start.Like you I was a minister,and very involved in the church,in every way you can be.Face it man,we have been lied to,and deceived,to the deepest part of our souls,by that filthy xtian program.As H P Maxine says, turn the roles of jewsus and Satan around,and you have the truth,that the despicable jews,have been keeping from us gentiles.Father Satan is the true God,and the other one,never existed in the first place,that's why there was never an answer to your prayer.And as far as your wife is concerned,if she is a practicing xtian,the road will be hard for you.Not impossible!If and only if she can except you fully,and not hinder your growth as a Satanist,as I have stated that my wife does,who claims
she is not one of us yet either.During those embarrassing years,I fought spiritually against Father and the Demons,with everything I could,and Father Satan never gave up on me then.Now I live for Father Satan,and am devoted to Him to the end of
my life now.So if Father can forgive me(and He has)then there is more than enough hope for you my friend.But Father is calling you too,question is will you answer the true God in return.
Hail Satan!
Brian


--- On Tue, 6/14/11, mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@ wrote:

From: mikearnold66 <mikearnold66@
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 4:32 PM

















 









Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.

I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and
by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.

By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.

I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still
holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.

I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god was trying to destroy me, as it seemed
inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.

However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.

For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.

I am noiw at the point where I am struggling immensely
on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.

Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these questions...they will
be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?

It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times since. It is
truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.

I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?

I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have
never verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.

Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to
give up naything else I love...I have lost too much already.

Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[darrklady13]

Hell yes I do Motherwolf!!!

I'm feeling the energy right now. The intense elation and joy!!!

HAIL THE POWERS OF HELL! MAY THEY REIGN TO INFINITY!!

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "lunazshadow" <motherwolff3@... wrote:

Gave me chills at the mention of when you heard them say that to you Brian. The intense love and acceptance I feel with Father is far more than I could ever describe versus the "conditional" love of the xtian god who punishes and often kills those who stray.I also saw Satanism as something dark and for others to fear as I had been taught most of my life.When I dedicated,the overwhelming feelings of love and protection washed over me and I was overcome with emotion that moved me to cleansing tears and laughter of intense joy.
Hail Satan!
Motherwolff

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Excuse me for butting in,when you were actually talking to Morning Star.And excuse me to Sister,but I do have something to say Mike.I have been a non-xtian for over 16 years now.And been into the occult for 15 years.And all I can share is my experience that I had,because lets face it,that's really all we have is our experiences.When I came to Father Satan,even after practicing,what I thought was witchcraft,I had no idea what to expect.Because even as a witch,I heard a lot of negative things about Satan.But after reading the Satanic Bible(I purchased it at a well known book store,though it is far from the truth too)I made a (what I called a blood pact) with Satan.I still didn't know any better,and was still into the xtian form of Satanism.Anyway even though I did it wrong,and even for the wrong reasons,Father still excepted me as one of His own.That's why it isn't as important how you dedicate,just that you do.Anyway,the next night I was sitting in my
bedroom,and I heard these voices say,"YOU ARE OURS NOW,AND YOU WILL BE PROTECTED FROM NOW ON" And let me tell you Mike,I have never felt such a loving,trustworthy,compassionate,being as our Father is.But my point in saying this all to you is,there is nothing anyone of us can tell you,that will convince you,until you experience it for yourself.And I promise He is there waiting with open arms for you.
Hail Satan!
Brian   

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@ wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:19 AM
















 









My response is in blue print below.





From: Morning Star <morning_star87@
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 2:29:42 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling


 

Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.
This must be the case, as I have no other explanation for the "war" I am currently experiencing.

Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.
Thank you.

You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined.
I may have given the wrong idea in my original post, so just to clarify, I was not expecting Satan to fix all my problems or supply me with riches and wealth.  No...not at all.  More than anything, after years of being promised their was a God who loved me and was looking out for me.....only to be left out to dry more times than I can recall...I was simply hoping there was a god who actually cared and would try to help when we find ourselves in problems which are serious and beyond our control.  Even then, I understand that bad things will happen...they are a regular part of life and I do not wish to avoid them all...but to know that someone actually really does care and won't just sit back and watch someone suffer when they are in desperate need...that would be very valuable.    
 
It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
One of the things I am drawn to more than anything is the pursuit of spiritual development; capability.  Wtchcraft and developing the abilities of the mind is extremely fascinating to me and sine childhood, I have ben drawn to it, but told I could not pursue it because it would land me in hell, regardless of the cause.  I have sensed a very strong pull in that direction for many years and it was probably the first thing that began to draw me towards satanism in the first place.  Becoming adept at magick to the utmost degree has always been my desire...a very strong desire.  However, through
reading Maxine's and other peopels writings, I understand that pursuing stanic witchcraft prior to dedication is not wise.
However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.
That sounds good to me.  I don't want to depend on others when it is posible to do things myself.  With christianity, the follower is required to depend on the chrsitian god for their needs, while at the same time they are not permitted to develop their own personal power in any of the ways that satanism offfers.  It is like an intentional disadvantge, preventing the follower from being self-empowdered when it comes to any spiritual matter.
 
Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.
Thanks.

Hail Father Satan.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued
to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god
was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am
struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these
questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times
since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never
verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up
naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[junrails]

@Brian Gibbons: Advices are merely words penned down for further choices of an appropriate action, it can't compared to the sincerity and the act of care as well as concern shown in your words.
I'm sure the JOS Group is glad to have such a loving bro like you.

@Mike:We do need to empower ourselves in order to truly reach enlightenment....Also to protect ourselves and our loved ones.

Honestly,in the country where i were born in, occults/witchcraft is a norm where businessmen visit an adept to use such force in their business dealings against their competitors i.e bind people in order to climb the corporate ladder.

Walk with JOS step by step Mike, one day you'll reach your destination.
Most importantly, You are here with a God who Truly care for His Sons and Daughters.

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Excuse me for butting in,when you were actually talking to Morning Star.And excuse me to Sister,but I do have something to say Mike.I have been a non-xtian for over 16 years now.And been into the occult for 15 years.And all I can share is my experience that I had,because lets face it,that's really all we have is our experiences.When I came to Father Satan,even after practicing,what I thought was witchcraft,I had no idea what to expect.Because even as a witch,I heard a lot of negative things about Satan.But after reading the Satanic Bible(I purchased it at a well known book store,though it is far from the truth too)I made a (what I called a blood pact) with Satan.I still didn't know any better,and was still into the xtian form of Satanism.Anyway even though I did it wrong,and even for the wrong reasons,Father still excepted me as one of His own.That's why it isn't as important how you dedicate,just that you do.Anyway,the next night I was sitting in my
bedroom,and I heard these voices say,"YOU ARE OURS NOW,AND YOU WILL BE PROTECTED FROM NOW ON" And let me tell you Mike,I have never felt such a loving,trustworthy,compassionate,being as our Father is.But my point in saying this all to you is,there is nothing anyone of us can tell you,that will convince you,until you experience it for yourself.And I promise He is there waiting with open arms for you.
Hail Satan!
Brian   

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:19 AM
















 









My response is in blue print below.





From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
To: [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url]
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 2:29:42 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling


 

Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.
This must be the case, as I have no other explanation for the "war" I am currently experiencing.

Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.
Thank you.

You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined.
I may have given the wrong idea in my original post, so just to clarify, I was not expecting Satan to fix all my problems or supply me with riches and wealth.  No...not at all.  More than anything, after years of being promised their was a God who loved me and was looking out for me.....only to be left out to dry more times than I can recall...I was simply hoping there was a god who actually cared and would try to help when we find ourselves in problems which are serious and beyond our control.  Even then, I understand that bad things will happen...they are a regular part of life and I do not wish to avoid them all...but to know that someone actually really does care and won't just sit back and watch someone suffer when they are in desperate need...that would be very valuable.    
 
It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
One of the things I am drawn to more than anything is the pursuit of spiritual development; capability.  Wtchcraft and developing the abilities of the mind is extremely fascinating to me and sine childhood, I have ben drawn to it, but told I could not pursue it because it would land me in hell, regardless of the cause.  I have sensed a very strong pull in that direction for many years and it was probably the first thing that began to draw me towards satanism in the first place.  Becoming adept at magick to the utmost degree has always been my desire...a very strong desire.  However, through
reading Maxine's and other peopels writings, I understand that pursuing stanic witchcraft prior to dedication is not wise.
However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.
That sounds good to me.  I don't want to depend on others when it is posible to do things myself.  With christianity, the follower is required to depend on the chrsitian god for their needs, while at the same time they are not permitted to develop their own personal power in any of the ways that satanism offfers.  It is like an intentional disadvantge, preventing the follower from being self-empowdered when it comes to any spiritual matter.
 
Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.
Thanks.

Hail Father Satan.

--- In [url=mailto:JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com[/url], "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued
to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god
was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am
struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these
questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times
since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never
verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up
naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Thank You Morning Star.I only hope I reflect the love of our wonderful Father Satan,and not that love everything kike love.
Hail Satan!
Brian

--- On Mon, 6/20/11, Morning Star <morning_star87@... wrote:

From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 20, 2011, 8:01 AM

  @Brian Gibbons: Advices are merely words penned down for further choices of an appropriate action, it can't compared to the sincerity and the act of care as well as concern shown in your words.
I'm sure the JOS Group is glad to have such a loving bro like you.

@Mike:We do need to empower ourselves in order to truly reach enlightenment....Also to protect ourselves and our loved ones.

Honestly,in the country where i were born in, occults/witchcraft is a norm where businessmen visit an adept to use such force in their business dealings against their competitors i.e bind people in order to climb the corporate ladder.

Walk with JOS step by step Mike, one day you'll reach your destination.
Most importantly, You are here with a God who Truly care for His Sons and Daughters.

Hail Satan

--- [/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Greetings Mike,
Excuse me for butting in,when you were actually talking to Morning Star.And excuse me to Sister,but I do have something to say Mike.I have been a non-xtian for over 16 years now.And been into the occult for 15 years.And all I can share is my experience that I had,because lets face it,that's really all we have is our experiences.When I came to Father Satan,even after practicing,what I thought was witchcraft,I had no idea what to expect.Because even as a witch,I heard a lot of negative things about Satan.But after reading the Satanic Bible(I purchased it at a well known book store,though it is far from the truth too)I made a (what I called a blood pact) with Satan.I still didn't know any better,and was still into the xtian form of Satanism.Anyway even though I did it wrong,and even for the wrong reasons,Father still excepted me as one of His own.That's why it isn't as important how you dedicate,just that you do.Anyway,the next night I was sitting in my
bedroom,and I heard these voices say,"YOU ARE OURS NOW,AND YOU WILL BE PROTECTED FROM NOW ON" And let me tell you Mike,I have never felt such a loving,trustworthy,compassionate,being as our Father is.But my point in saying this all to you is,there is nothing anyone of us can tell you,that will convince you,until you experience it for yourself.And I promise He is there waiting with open arms for you.
Hail Satan!
Brian   

--- On Fri, 6/17/11, Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@... wrote:

From: Mike Arnold <mikearnold66@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling
To: <a rel="nofollow">JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:19 AM
















 









My response is in blue print below.





From: Morning Star <morning_star87@...
To: <a rel="nofollow">JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 2:29:42 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: struggling


 

Years of being programmed to a certain doctrine can be a pain when we find that it is leading us to a wrong path.A christian holy ghost might still reside in your being which is creating the 'war' in your mind.you do need to cast it out.
This must be the case, as I have no other explanation for the "war" I am currently experiencing.

Also,our subconscious mind is the seat of our habit. it is normal for human to set a habitual barrier towards something that contradicts their habitual thoughts/programmed belief directly/indirectly.

I sincerely would like to congratulate you for waking up to the truth as well as expressing your innermost thoughts in here.It is an honor to read.
Thank you.

You do need to shift your current model of thinking though.Your perspective of Satan/Spiritual Satanism is fundamentally based on the christians' and their bible's point of view.One of the ways that may help is to read and study www.exposingchristianity.com.Do bombard your subconscious mind with the information in it, thus the fear shall subdue.

Spiritual Satanism doesn't grant you an instant good life that you imagined.
I may have given the wrong idea in my original post, so just to clarify, I was not expecting Satan to fix all my problems or supply me with riches and wealth.  No...not at all.  More than anything, after years of being promised their was a God who loved me and was looking out for me.....only to be left out to dry more times than I can recall...I was simply hoping there was a god who actually cared and would try to help when we find ourselves in problems which are serious and beyond our control.  Even then, I understand that bad things will happen...they are a regular part of life and I do not wish to avoid them all...but to know that someone actually really does care and won't just sit back and watch someone suffer when they are in desperate need...that would be very valuable.    
 
It doesn't happen in a snap of a finger just because we worship Father Satan. Our mission is to empower ourselves via meditations,partly to achieve the life that we desire,in reaching that happiness. A balance of Health,Wealth,etc as well as Spiritual fulfillment in this physical realm is essential.
One of the things I am drawn to more than anything is the pursuit of spiritual development; capability.  Wtchcraft and developing the abilities of the mind is extremely fascinating to me and sine childhood, I have ben drawn to it, but told I could not pursue it because it would land me in hell, regardless of the cause.  I have sensed a very strong pull in that direction for many years and it was probably the first thing that began to draw me towards satanism in the first place.  Becoming adept at magick to the utmost degree has always been my desire...a very strong desire.  However, through
reading Maxine's and other peopels writings, I understand that pursuing stanic witchcraft prior to dedication is not wise.
However, I do noticed that Father Satan and His Respected Demons do intervene when we face bad circumstances. I've seen people who mean harm get punished e.g i witnessed an electric switch in a shop blew up for no apparent reason just because a shopkeeper was treating me rudely.

Years of serving the christian god can make a person rather dependent.christians seem to put alot of so called faith in their god for a better life.they just push everything towards their god do the job for them. It is the contrary in Spiritual Satanism, at certain point,we are rather capable to do and achieve things for ourselves.
That sounds good to me.  I don't want to depend on others when it is posible to do things myself.  With christianity, the follower is required to depend on the chrsitian god for their needs, while at the same time they are not permitted to develop their own personal power in any of the ways that satanism offfers.  It is like an intentional disadvantge, preventing the follower from being self-empowdered when it comes to any spiritual matter.
 
Certainly, with Father Satan and His Respected Demons' kind guidance we may further empower ourselves.

I do hope to see an illumination from you soon. Being with Father Satan is rather liberating. I myself am grateful to have found A True God.
Hope to see you on the right track soon.You've taken the first step, don't stop moving forward.
Thanks.

Hail Father Satan.

--- [/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoogroups.com, "mikearnold66" <mikearnold66@ wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Mike and I am 34 years old. This is my first post here. I understand the following may be lengthy, although I will try to keep it is breif as possible while adequately relaying my feelings. I am not sure if this forum is the appropriate place to express these feelings, so if they are not, my apologies.
I am currently a christian....before you automatically stop reading, please read a bit further. I was not raised in a christian household per say, but had an aunt who was a strong influence on me in my spiritual choices, with whom I had frequent contact. Due to her influence, and to the best of my rememberance, I became a christian between the ages of 11-12.

For some time, I followed the christian religion with a passion, and by my early to mid-20's, after preaching in multiple churches, being a deacon in my home church, and being recommended as a lay pastor, I had strongly considered becoming a full-time pastor. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I did not assume the position of lay pastor, which I had been recommend for.
By my later 20's, my passion for the christian religion was waning, although still strong. At age 28 I experienced an extremely painful and life changing event at the hands on my now ex-wife, which I had begged my God to help me with. I recieved what I felt was very little help, if any, and was left to suffer unjustly. This was the first time I had felt truly abandoned by the god that I served, as if he had turned his back on me when I needed him the most.
I never recovered from this and my feelings toward the god that I once trusted implicityly continued
to deteriorate. Just a couple years later, while still holding onto a remnant of trust in my God, I was struck by an even more devastating blow, one which could've destroyed my life and which I played no role in. I was not at fault and completely undeserving in every sense. It was the true definition of injustice.
I plead with my god from the depths of my heart, but despite my deepest cries for help, things continued to get worse, as if there were unseen spiritual forces working to destroy me. All my life I was taught that my god would protect his own, but for years I recieved no help at all and things continued to worsen as if I was a chacter written into the plot of a tragic movie. I was being falsey accused of the most vile crimes and suffered great losses...losses which I can hardly bare. Even then, my hands remained outstrected to my god, begging for help and justice. No justice or help of any kind ever came. Often, I felt as if my own god
was trying to destroy me, as it seemed inpossible for things to have happened naturally. Coincidence seemed impractical.
However, from young childhood there was always a pull to the demonic which I did not understand. Even as a devout christian I would research websites like the JOS and others, telling myself it was simply for research purposes, but I cannot deny that I was pulled to them, particulary this site.
For the last few years I have been pulled closer and closer to what I can only conclude is Satan. Just recently, after seeing that my God was content to just sit by and watch me suffer for years, I felt an immense sense of betrayal and that my god did not really love me as I had thought for so many years. Listen, I did not expect only good things to come from following my god, but I did not expect to be left completely abandoned at my most desperate hour, which has lasted years.
I am noiw at the point where I am
struggling immensely on which road to go down, but even as curageous as I am, the prospect of rejecting my God terrifies me. My entire life I have been programmed to think that rejecting God means enternity in hell and being left open to destruction by Satan. But there has been a war in my head for years over the struggle to choose between the christian god and Satan. I now feel nearly, if not completely abandoned by the christian God and to be honest, if I look at my life, I cannot see him helping me anywhere. Still, the fear of rejecting him is neasrly overwheliming.
Not only do I feel an internal draw to Satan, but from what I have read on your site and elsewhere, Satan seems to give his followers all the things my god had promised me, but failed to deliver. Is it true that once one accepts satan that his life gets better? Does satan truly care for those who follow him? Does he protect us? I know what your answers will be to these
questions...they will be yes, but I am spiritually torn in two, as if I am being ripped apart as we speak. I desire for something better, as I no longer believe my god loves me like I had always thought before. How could he love us if he leaves us to suffer and will not help us despite our most earnest cries?
It took me a long time to get to the point where I would write something like this and were it not for the fear inside of me, I would have already left the christian god. On top of that, and on a lighter not, the christian god appears to offer nothing fun at all..."boring" would be a most accurate word. As a child, I astral projected, but was not aware of what it was at the time. Then again at age 18 I did again, but I did not know for many years what it was...I only knew it was some type of super-natural experience. At age 32 I purchased a book on astral projection and within 8 weeks I projected again, then 2 weeks later and many times
since. It is truly amazing, but my religion says it is "evil", although they cannot give what I consider to be a legitmate explanation as to why.
I have always also felt a very strong pull towards magick, knowing it was very real as a christian, but knowing it was off-limits to me. In fact, almost everything I have had a strong desire to pursue has ben "off-limits" to me as a christian. Where is the power in christianity? Why doesn't this christian god, if he is so much greater than all others, display his power and help those he says he loves?
I feel like I am 2 different people...with one half telling me to continue following the christian Goid and the other half screaming to get away and follow Satan. It is pre-programmed fear which paralyzes me. In all honesty, I am not even sure why I wrote this letter or what it will accompliosh, but I felt it was a step toward liberating myself and moving away from the christian god. I have never
verbalized these feelings before or written them down at any time. This is a first. I can no longer ignore the pull, but I am paralyzed by fear...it took immense strength just to write this here. I feel as if I have been slowly taking steps in this direction for years and am not far away, but I don't know what to do to break out from where I am now. A dedication seems too hard for me right now, but then again, 5 years ago this letter would have been impossible. I suppose I am hoping this letter will somehow help me move closer.
Lastlt, a major problem is that my current wife is a christian, but I love her deeply and want her in my life. I am also afraid that if I chose Satan, I would have to lose her, but I love her so much and she loves me. I don't want Satan to make me give up my wife at any time. If the christian god wants to kill me for choosing Satan, fine...he has already broken my heart, but I don't want Satan to ask me to give up
naything else I love...I have lost too much already.
Lastly, my daughter is the most important thing in my life. She is only 7 years old and has been taken from me for 2 years without cause, based on the lies of a self-proclaimed christian who praises her god from the rooftops, while destroying he lives of the innocent with her horrible lies. I have nearly lost hope that justice will ever be done. How I am torn! My hand is strecthed out to Satan as far as I can reach right now.

[/TD]