Soul reflection

Friday at 9:04 PM#1

I feel as though I never have enough energy for anything, as though I am living a life that is not truly mine. It is rare for me to feel satisfied with myself or with the way I have spent my day. Every day feels meaningless. I go to work and do things simply to keep myself afloat, constantly trying to find some balance and stability. Sometimes another wave of troubles crashes over me, but I always try to remain standing.

I no longer know what exactly I should do. I have no clear vision. I often have my head in the clouds and think about many things. And it feels as though I am constantly hearing some kind of calling. It whispers to me that I am not where I belong. That I need to go. But I am so afraid to step into the unknown. And yet, remaining where I am is frightening too.

I spend so much energy trying to keep the sky from falling on my head that I doubt I could make any radical and confident changes while living under these conditions. It feels as though I am betraying myself and my soul, wasting the potential that the Gods have granted me—and therefore disappointing them.

I want to leave, to fly away, to run somewhere where I can feel comfortable and warm. Somewhere I could live the way I want, devote my time to spiritual practices, and drink the sweet nectars of life instead of constantly taking from it only whatever happens to be available.

But time is slipping away, never to return. And that makes it even more frightening.

I feel as though I never have enough energy for anything, as though I am living a life that is not truly mine. It is rare for me to feel satisfied with myself or with the way I have spent my day. Every day feels meaningless. I go to work and do things simply to keep myself afloat, constantly trying to find some balance and stability. Sometimes another wave of troubles crashes over me, but I always try to remain standing.

I no longer know what exactly I should do. I have no clear vision. I often have my head in the clouds and think about many things. And it feels as though I am constantly hearing some kind of calling. It whispers to me that I am not where I belong. That I need to go. But I am so afraid to step into the unknown. And yet, remaining where I am is frightening too.

I spend so much energy trying to keep the sky from falling on my head that I doubt I could make any radical and confident changes while living under these conditions. It feels as though I am betraying myself and my soul, wasting the potential that the Gods have granted me—and therefore disappointing them.

I want to leave, to fly away, to run somewhere where I can feel comfortable and warm. Somewhere I could live the way I want, devote my time to spiritual practices, and drink the sweet nectars of life instead of constantly taking from it only whatever happens to be available.

But time is slipping away, never to return. And that makes it even more frightening.

Friday at 9:07 PM#2

Salutations.

First, try to find why you feel this urge to be judged and forgiven. What "sins" have you committed? Why do you think the Gods would be displeased with you?

Second, you should start a cleansing working to free yourself from this karmic guilt you feel, and also clean your aura to free your mind from this mental fog you feel. I've observed that a lot of fleeting negative thoughts disappear in a few minutes after doing it.

And while doing these, start reading the site, from start to finish, do the Gods rituals, join VT, speak to people, learn from their experiences, pray to the Gods, and your life will change before your eyes. I wish you all the best.

Salutations.

First, try to find why you feel this urge to be judged and forgiven. What "sins" have you committed? Why do you think the Gods would be displeased with you?

Second, you should start a cleansing working to free yourself from this karmic guilt you feel, and also clean your aura to free your mind from this mental fog you feel. I've observed that a lot of fleeting negative thoughts disappear in a few minutes after doing it.

And while doing these, start reading the site, from start to finish, do the Gods rituals, join VT, speak to people, learn from their experiences, pray to the Gods, and your life will change before your eyes. I wish you all the best.

trissmegistusFriday at 10:11 PM

Negativity pushed me toward self-destructive desires and ideas, thoughts of giving up, self-punishment, and toxic introspection. Apathy, laziness. I could go for a long time without doing anything that would benefit me. I understand my responsibility, if I did not, I would continue blaming others and never myself. But it is difficult for me to hold everything together. If I focus on one thing, it feels as though I am neglecting something else, something even more important.

Thank you for your guidance. I definitely need to do some serious inner work.

Negativity pushed me toward self-destructive desires and ideas, thoughts of giving up, self-punishment, and toxic introspection. Apathy, laziness. I could go for a long time without doing anything that would benefit me. I understand my responsibility, if I did not, I would continue blaming others and never myself. But it is difficult for me to hold everything together. If I focus on one thing, it feels as though I am neglecting something else, something even more important.

Thank you for your guidance. I definitely need to do some serious inner work.

Friday at 9:39 PM#3

The way you're thinking and feeling reveals your desire for the good and true and beautiful. Your Daimon, that Voice of God, comes through the thick of the soul and whispers to you, and if you ignore it, it manifests as uncomfortable catalysts for change (anxiety, fear, guilt, etc). These emotions/feelings are good for you, to a degree. They tickle the back of your mind until you do something about them.

The purity of your soul depends upon how well you care for it. You must clean it through mantra and yoga, education, and ethical conduct. Forgiveness is earned, not given out of request.

The way you're thinking and feeling reveals your desire for the good and true and beautiful. Your Daimon, that Voice of God, comes through the thick of the soul and whispers to you, and if you ignore it, it manifests as uncomfortable catalysts for change (anxiety, fear, guilt, etc). These emotions/feelings are good for you, to a degree. They tickle the back of your mind until you do something about them.

The purity of your soul depends upon how well you care for it. You must clean it through mantra and yoga, education, and ethical conduct. Forgiveness is earned, not given out of request.

trissmegistusFriday at 10:25 PM

How can I know whether I have earned forgiveness from the Gods? And what if I have not, and I am destined to remain without their protection? I cannot bear to think about it. I feel like their child, but one who has lost his way.

Sometimes this voice seems clearer to me. I look at everything around me with disgust and imagine myself taking that step, and it fills me with such inspiration when my imagination paints pictures of the obstacles I will overcome, the things I will achieve, and my journey toward my dream. It is as though the journey itself is my dream. But it is a very unusual one, and if approached pragmatically, it may seem irrational, overly idealistic, reckless, or even dangerous. At such moments, I think of Hermes. Could it be his voice trying to reach me, and should I trust him? Will he become my patron and guide?

At the same time, the idea of the Middle Way (golden mean)—also seems deeply right to me, because I would not step into the unknown all at once, but would be more logical in my decisions. But would that not contradict the voice itself?

As for all the bad things that have befallen me, I have learned lessons from them, and I continue to reflect and draw conclusions.

How can I know whether I have earned forgiveness from the Gods? And what if I have not, and I am destined to remain without their protection? I cannot bear to think about it. I feel like their child, but one who has lost his way.

Sometimes this voice seems clearer to me. I look at everything around me with disgust and imagine myself taking that step, and it fills me with such inspiration when my imagination paints pictures of the obstacles I will overcome, the things I will achieve, and my journey toward my dream. It is as though the journey itself is my dream. But it is a very unusual one, and if approached pragmatically, it may seem irrational, overly idealistic, reckless, or even dangerous. At such moments, I think of Hermes. Could it be his voice trying to reach me, and should I trust him? Will he become my patron and guide?

At the same time, the idea of the Middle Way (golden mean)—also seems deeply right to me, because I would not step into the unknown all at once, but would be more logical in my decisions. But would that not contradict the voice itself?

As for all the bad things that have befallen me, I have learned lessons from them, and I continue to reflect and draw conclusions.

Friday at 11:53 PM#4

The impediment to action advances action; what stands in the way becomes the way.

You're on the right path, at least self-reflectively. From what I've gathered, you need to start acting more than you're thinking. If you know what you must do, then do it—over philosophizing is unwise when the answers are found in simplicity.

About forgiveness: it's not that the Gods think unwell of anyone in some human opinionated way. Your relationship to yourself determines the degree of purity that the Gods see you in. If you see the Gods as against you, it's not that they are, but that you're against yourself and projecting that onto divine providence.

About belief: stop being "rational" about your potential. The rationality you have is in fetters based on your conditioning; therefore, while remaining humble, have absolute irrational faith in your divine destiny.

Your Guardian God is with you, always guiding you onward.

The impediment to action advances action; what stands in the way becomes the way.

You're on the right path, at least self-reflectively. From what I've gathered, you need to start acting more than you're thinking. If you know what you must do, then do it—over philosophizing is unwise when the answers are found in simplicity.

About forgiveness: it's not that the Gods think unwell of anyone in some human opinionated way. Your relationship to yourself determines the degree of purity that the Gods see you in. If you see the Gods as against you, it's not that they are, but that you're against yourself and projecting that onto divine providence.

About belief: stop being "rational" about your potential. The rationality you have is in fetters based on your conditioning; therefore, while remaining humble, have absolute irrational faith in your divine destiny.

Your Guardian God is with you, always guiding you onward.

Saturday at 1:26 AM#5

Awareness meditations can get you there. Start at the beginner elements - you likely have never even truly felt your heartbeat and bloodflow, let alone any soul.

Do the Awareness meditations for self-introspection, as well as those that train the sharpness of your visualization (of smell, touch etc.) as these directly build the astral senses.

As you progress in these, and in the meditations upon the Chakras, you will more keenly be aware of your soul and able to inspect it over time.

Informative posts written:
- About the SaTaNaMa Meditation - Empowering Talismans and Whisper in Magick -
- Vijnana Bhairava Tantra -
- The Hebdomads of Pythagoras - About Yehuborim

~
"That light, He said, am I, Nous, Thy God, who is before the hygra physis borne out of Darkness. The Logos, from Nous, is the Son of God."
- Θ Lord Thoth Θ

Awareness meditations can get you there. Start at the beginner elements - you likely have never even truly felt your heartbeat and bloodflow, let alone any soul.

Do the Awareness meditations for self-introspection, as well as those that train the sharpness of your visualization (of smell, touch etc.) as these directly build the astral senses.

As you progress in these, and in the meditations upon the Chakras, you will more keenly be aware of your soul and able to inspect it over time.

Saturday at 8:57 AM#6

This is the targeted message.

In addition to the other great advice you have been given here, I would ask you if you are cleaning your aura morning and night, 108x Surya. If you can't do 108 yet, start low, start with 10, work your way up. I think most members can do 108x a year from beginning.

Doing extra cleaning changed my mindset in so many ways, all for the better. Morning and night, don't slack on this. For years I was only cleaning once a day, that wasn't enough.

Then do an AoP right after, even if it's a short AoP it will help.

Liturgical Terms of Zevism (everyone please read and familiarize yourself with these)

In addition to the other great advice you have been given here, I would ask you if you are cleaning your aura morning and night, 108x Surya. If you can't do 108 yet, start low, start with 10, work your way up. I think most members can do 108x a year from beginning.

Doing extra cleaning changed my mindset in so many ways, all for the better. Morning and night, don't slack on this. For years I was only cleaning once a day, that wasn't enough.

Then do an AoP right after, even if it's a short AoP it will help.