Greeting brothers and sisters,
I am very proud to see how rapidly the temple is growing. The new updates are very great to see and makes the website very simple to navigate which is amazing, also helps with organization for studying!
The biggest reason I wanted to post today, is I’ve had some trouble over the years since my dedication. I’ve been able to pin where I think my struggle is, but am curious to get an outside opinion. My progress has certainly shown, but I feel I could be much more ahead. I assigned blame to the schedule I was working but, I understand it simply doesn’t change that my priorities weren’t where they could have been.
I feel ashamed that I chose TV as a priority some days when working a 72 hr work week and continuing to do the same the next day after only 4 hours of sleep and almost fall asleep while meditating.
I have asked many times for advice on the forums about my meditation schedule and routine but the biggest obstacle was definitely myself. I heard what needed changing and I found it hard to let go and stood strong in my own way for longer than necessary. However, seeing this new site update, as I was finally pulling myself out of the rut I’d been in makes me re-evaluate and wonder if I should step back to basics and rebuild differently. For about 6 months now, I’ve felt a plateau. I’ve made time for meditation and my schedule was as follows
Morning:
Hatha, returning curses, AC,AP,CS, I would do void meditation while lying still after yoga, and whatever magickal workings I had going on
Evening:
Kundalini set of some sort AC,AP,CS, ritual/purification schedules. This is all the time I was making for myself and the Gods.
I was also struggling to focus during sometimes and found myself thinking way too much about material things that have no concern at that time whether this be during the time I’m actually meditating or while lying still in void. This could be as simple as chakra spinning and a movie starts playing scenes in my head and sometimes I follow the thought and forget I was in the middle of my practice. Other times I have found when I was stressed financially to be thinking of solutions all the time. I’m not worried anymore about this, but, I am at a point now where I feel like I’ve let a bad habit build for too long and don’t even come close to what I used to feel when I would clean my aura or any other power meditations. I know I haven’t been doing this for 10 years yet, but I have for close to 3. For a big chunk of this time I didn’t understand the importance of disciplined chakra work. It’s only recent I’ve really started to build it into my routine. Anyhow, I would say 1 of every 25-50 meditations I was in a complete other realm. It felt surreal, it felt magical, it felt like living proof of what it taught here, like another world that I was allowed the privilege to visit. The white light when I would clean my aura felt like a shower from the sun, even in a day where I was in a pitch black room. Some days I’d struggle to focus or surrender but it was a wave that had highs and lows. Now I haven’t had that feeling in quite some time. I still feel the energy, but I feel like I’ve built some doubt after this rut I was in for a while and want to overcome whatever is holding me back.
I noticed the new meditation programs implemented on the site, and had a few questions. First being, is there any particular reason returning curses is not a part of these schedules? Second, I noticed it mentioned the Standard Ritual being a weekly thing, and as embarrassed as I feel to say I’ve never done it, I just have not. I live in shared housing, privacy has always found a struggle in that regard. I was not under the impression it was as necessary as it is now sounding. I still find time to do the Ritual schedules though. I will happily do it now, but am curious is it necessary when we have the schedules? Was the purpose only to build capacity to handle bio electricity and now that I’ve done other rituals it’s unnecessary?
With the new examples of a meditation program, thank you to the clergy for this by the way because it is an amazing template to build off of and am very grateful for this! With what I was currently doing, I noticed even in the 3 hr 30min most advanced routine only has either KY or Hatha in the morning and nothing at night. Am I fine to do only one a day because I’ve been doing Hatha in mornings and KY at night?
I am also curious to hear your thoughts on my vision. I have been dedicated for a few years now, I have never physically seen, or heard my guardian daemon. I feel a presence when I pray to father Zeus every day, it sometimes manifests as a sensation in my head or like a warm bliss hug. I haven’t had any visions and sometimes when I try to surrender and allow myself to have them I picture something entirely fiction so I have to remind myself that is not what would happen in that case, so I feel I have talked myself right out of self trust as well. With that being said, I know I did the opening the Soul Meditations within months of my dedication. Should I take a step back to the basics, just remember the good habits and build that strong foundation before continuing, perhaps the beginner schedule built in the update? Should I re-do the opening of the soul before going further or should I just remember to prioritize from this point forward?
I thank every one of you sincerely for reading and am grateful to those who help in advance! Thank you brothers and sisters. Thank you to the TOZ Clergy for keeping the interests of everyone at heart and building these amazing resources to help us all grow and become the best we possibly can♥️♥️ It is an absolute honor to watch the development of the Temple.
HAIL ZEUS
HAIL THE GODS AND THE TRUTH