Satanism and self.

[Kareem Zedan]

Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.
Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.
Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.
I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.
No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.
This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.
In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.
So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.

 

[Don Danko]

Belief is not required for self. You already exist, you already know this. Otherwise there would be no conflict within you and you would not ask for help with it. The elephant is in your head? Till it steps on you then its real. Gravity is an illusion till you trip on something. The element is not hot till you burn yourself on it. etc  Use this to help clean away the negative mental programming that your constantly feeding into:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoSNewsletter/message/206 Like you said its been engraved in you. Its time to then clean it out. Its a result of momentary karma which is caused by what you focus on to this level, and actions you take. Which creates imprints that are deep mental patterns in the psyche. Its a garbage in, garbage out situation. Nothing more.   From: Kareem Zedan <kareem335@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Monday, July 1, 2013 8:48:47 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Satanism and self.
  Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.
Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.
Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.
I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.
No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.
This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.
In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.
So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.

 

[the_fire_starter666]

Lol the existence of an existence does prove that it's real. You don't have to "falsify" something. If there's evidence that is true is true. Hell, I can even tell you that earth is not what it seems, but a gigantic can of Coca Cola and that's an illusion. I can tell you that Santa Claus is real. I can make up whatever you like. Doesn't it mean you have to believe whatever I or whoever else makes up with no evidence at all? That's how somebody made the supposed thing that everything is an illusion and what you're doing is you're believing in something that someone made up instead of your experiences.

And there's a complete difference between a thought of an elephant and sensing and touching and seeing and hearing an elephant in front of you and that elephant attacks you. These are not thought, but sensory experience, that's how you prove it's real. You can touch yourself, see yourself in a mirror, hear your voice, even harm yourself e.t.c. If there was no self you would be in a zombie like state without any will of your own. There would be no definition of "self-harm" at all since it would be impossible if you didn't have a self. The fact that you have a will and you control that will disproves that.

It's so stupid as saying "I don't believe there's a sky or that the earth is round and that these pics of earth being round are fake". Of course what the enemy religions say is so bullshitical if you analyze them that they don't really make any sense.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Kareem Zedan <kareem335@... wrote:

Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.

Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.

Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.

I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.

No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.

This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.

In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.

So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.

 

[the_fire_starter666]

I've always said that the enemy religions and programs are stupid that they deny basic things. They're also saying that there's no such thing as a reace. Well I've never heard or seen 2 nordic white people have a black children. If they were not real you would expect random phenotypes occuring when 2 people of the same phenotype had a child. That's what a race is.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@... wrote:

Lol the existence of an existence does prove that it's real. You don't have to "falsify" something. If there's evidence that is true is true. Hell, I can even tell you that earth is not what it seems, but a gigantic can of Coca Cola and that's an illusion. I can tell you that Santa Claus is real. I can make up whatever you like. Doesn't it mean you have to believe whatever I or whoever else makes up with no evidence at all? That's how somebody made the supposed thing that everything is an illusion and what you're doing is you're believing in something that someone made up instead of your experiences.

And there's a complete difference between a thought of an elephant and sensing and touching and seeing and hearing an elephant in front of you and that elephant attacks you. These are not thought, but sensory experience, that's how you prove it's real. You can touch yourself, see yourself in a mirror, hear your voice, even harm yourself e.t.c. If there was no self you would be in a zombie like state without any will of your own. There would be no definition of "self-harm" at all since it would be impossible if you didn't have a self. The fact that you have a will and you control that will disproves that.

It's so stupid as saying "I don't believe there's a sky or that the earth is round and that these pics of earth being round are fake". Of course what the enemy religions say is so bullshitical if you analyze them that they don't really make any sense.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Kareem Zedan <kareem335@ wrote:

Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.

Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.

Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.

I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.

No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.

This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.

In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.

So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.

 

[jonathon_billing]

Yea, what your going thru, some people call it the Dark Night of the Soul/Pit of the Void.

I don't know how deeply I should go here and I am by no means an expert with this stuff, but I'm in it too, so maybe some idea might help you? Hopefully none of what I post below causes you to have full blown "events".

Please look for the *******'s below.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Kareem Zedan <kareem335@... wrote:

Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.

Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.

*******Why does it bother you?

*******It's bothering you or the mental construct of "you"?

*******You are still questioning whether a you exists right? So something must be going thru this struggle, doing the questioning. An individual with values, an individual capable of ending itself.


Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.

*******If you would please clearly show, perhaps in an argument-diagram form, your premises and this conclusion of: "Nothing matters". I find doing things like that really helps to process things like this.

*******If you don't exists then your cannot value anything, if you wish to continue to exist then you will end up valuing things that further your life.


I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.

*******Your consciousness exists to perceive an objective (outside yourself) reality. You can't have a thought of anything without having first being exposed to something. I don't mean not being able to imagine anything, I mean your original exposure to existence itself, something like:
"I notice I exist, and I notice that I notice my existence".
"I notice that "thing" over there, it is new to me" (This may be the point where one would begin being able to imagine, now you can see something, you can imagine something different)
You can't magically come into existence knowing things, you have to first perceive, develop mental constructs(symbols and what not:language), then integrate in a non-contradictory manner, then you have real knowledge (versus "ideas").


No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.

*******Have you noticed that you keep referring to yourself as yourself, as an "I". Individual existence: YOU are questioning your own existence. Are you capable of no longer existing? Do somethings increase you time/odds of existence?



This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.

*******I've been down this road: suicide, for these very same issues.

*******You'll have to figure it out from first principle so to speak.
1. As a living organism(and I don't just mean physically) your first decision: Live or die? (I don't think it possible to truly value death as one wouldn't exist to enjoy it.)
2. Will doing (x), increase my odds of living, or ?
3. That which furthers your life is of value, that which doesn't, isn't.


In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.

*******What do you have to gain, exactly, from suicide?
You seem to value "non-contradictions"/the logic of reality. You won't exist to enjoy your none existence(again talking about astral/mental etc). You can't commit suicide or do any action unless you value something in the first. I recommend again, starting from first principles.



So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.

*******Would recommend asking the Gods for help with this. I hope I've helped. What I think this actually is, is a kind of cleansing of the ida channel in the soul, and these particular kind of issues are at the base/sacral region. When I did the Necronomicon Opening of the Sacral the first time, that's when this all started for me, about 4 years ago. It peaked recently, this year, but I seem to be making my way thru it.

 

[Kareem Zedan]

Thanks for the replies,
Yes I suppose that this is a very vulnerable stage I'm going through and the enemy has been taking as much advantage of this as it can, I meditated yesterday and strengthened my astral chakras and was able to get a clear picture of what's going on, It feels like another form of Jewish programming that has been put to my focus through meditation, it's just a way to make me vulnerable and to be easily attacked, I can see it clearly now and have discovered how much of a threat I am to the enemy.
I was communicating with a demon and the line of communication kept on being distorted by outside entities, often a voice would sound like a demon but it would turn out to be just an enemy entity in disguise, I could tell the true message from the demon from the false, and that voice guided me through the turmoil, I was told that the enemy wants me to disbelieve in myself because then I would be weak and open for abuse.
The enemy wants me to commit suicide because I wouldn't be as annoying to them as I am now!
Twats. 
HAIL SATAN!!!!! From: Don Danko <mageson6666@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 2 July 2013, 0:55
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Satanism and self.

  Belief is not required for self. You already exist, you already know this. Otherwise there would be no conflict within you and you would not ask for help with it. The elephant is in your head? Till it steps on you then its real. Gravity is an illusion till you trip on something. The element is not hot till you burn yourself on it. etc  Use this to help clean away the negative mental programming that your constantly feeding into:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoSNewsletter/message/206 Like you said its been engraved in you. Its time to then clean it out. Its a result of momentary karma which is caused by what you focus on to this level, and actions you take. Which creates imprints that are deep mental patterns in the psyche. Its a garbage in, garbage out situation. Nothing more.   From: Kareem Zedan <kareem335@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Monday, July 1, 2013 8:48:47 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Satanism and self.
  Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.
Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.
Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.
I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.
No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.
This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.
In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.
So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.

 

[Don Danko]

Never forget your own power.
From: Kareem Zedan <kareem335@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 8:39:07 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Satanism and self.
  Thanks for the replies,
Yes I suppose that this is a very vulnerable stage I'm going through and the enemy has been taking as much advantage of this as it can, I meditated yesterday and strengthened my astral chakras and was able to get a clear picture of what's going on, It feels like another form of Jewish programming that has been put to my focus through meditation, it's just a way to make me vulnerable and to be easily attacked, I can see it clearly now and have discovered how much of a threat I am to the enemy.
I was communicating with a demon and the line of communication kept on being distorted by outside entities, often a voice would sound like a demon but it would turn out to be just an enemy entity in disguise, I could tell the true message from the demon from the false, and that voice guided me through the turmoil, I was told that the enemy wants me to disbelieve in myself because then I would be weak and open for abuse.
The enemy wants me to commit suicide because I wouldn't be as annoying to them as I am now!
Twats. 
HAIL SATAN!!!!! From: Don Danko <mageson6666@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 2 July 2013, 0:55
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Satanism and self.
  Belief is not required for self. You already exist, you already know this. Otherwise there would be no conflict within you and you would not ask for help with it. The elephant is in your head? Till it steps on you then its real. Gravity is an illusion till you trip on something. The element is not hot till you burn yourself on it. etc  Use this to help clean away the negative mental programming that your constantly feeding into:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoSNewsletter/message/206 Like you said its been engraved in you. Its time to then clean it out. Its a result of momentary karma which is caused by what you focus on to this level, and actions you take. Which creates imprints that are deep mental patterns in the psyche. Its a garbage in, garbage out situation. Nothing more.   From: Kareem Zedan <kareem335@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Monday, July 1, 2013 8:48:47 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Satanism and self.
  Right guys, I've been struggling immensely with something.
Before I returned back to SS I was following a path of self destruction, as in the destruction of what one perceives himself as himself, the fact that one cannot see the self and that it is based solely on mental structures and ideals really bothers me.
Because that would mean that life is a fake thing, that life is an illusion and that nothing in life really matters, this has been engraved in me, something in me keeps on bugging me and telling that life is an illusion and it's all a dream.
I know that the soul is real and that the existence of everything cannot be denied, but the existence of existence doesn't falsify that it might be false to begin with, a thought of an elephant doesn't make it existent in reality, it merely makes it existent as a thought.
No this is what all my inner struggle is all about, how can I advance my soul and self when I have problem in believing the existence of such a thing as a self in the first place.
This has actually got me to the verge of suicide, my life is almost non existent now because I am not mentally able to cope with doing anything and I keep on attracting negative things since this inner struggle is destroying me, I have high mental capabilities and I am a very talented person, but I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.
In other words, I want to kill myself, because I can't find an answer anywhere to this struggle that's been going on for years and there is nothing I feel that is worth doing, because I see no way out of this.
So this is practically my last plead for help, if I do not find an answer anytime soon I will be taking my life.