Returning after a Long Period of Depression, Isolation and Bad Drug Abuse

[BrightSun]

I have been away from JoS/Toz for about 2 and a half years now I've been a member since 2015. I've been neglecting myself, letting myself go and not doing meditations properly all while dealing with extreme drug abuse.

In the past I was doing ok. I was meditating and everything was going fine but a bad karmic Neptune influence started happening to me a few years ago and I sort of slowly went downhill from there. I keep getting the notion to return to the forums and start trying to heal myself and recover from all of this but this Site and the Main site has changed so much that I don't know where to even get started anymore.

I'll have to start over from scratch and try to build myself spiritually. Over the last 2 years I've been sort of trying to use the old Mantras and info I have but I just feel so isolated and in a state of decay and I need to start socializing more and to move out of this.

I have to admit to everyone in the past I was (not on these forums, but personally) an asshole. I had an extremely bad ego problem and that combined with negative karmic influences of Xianity and other dross on my soul along with bad drug addictions caused me to go downhill and start losing faith in the Gods. I've done specific things and workings in the past that Zeus and the Gods probably didn't like or approve of me doing. Things like Love/lust spells on specific 'high quality' and attractive women and stuff like that - I was a dumbass who was trying to use these powers we teach here for all the wrong reasons and because of that I think I angered our Gods and I was punished for it. I was behaving like an egotistical prick who believed he deserves everything and that was the wrong mindset to have.


Im back here trying to get used to the new name ToZ and the new info. I started slouching off and not visiting the forums for over 2 years so everything feels brand new to me. Where should I begin with my spiritual development?

I want to return and try cleansing this negative drug addiction influence out my soul and show the Gods that I can recover from this and my bad overall mindset.
I just want some support of other members here, not that I'm asking for anything from anyone - I just want to be here with you guys and know that you guys are here for me too. I have lived with very bad karmic influences and its hard dealing with them all. Thank you. Just being on the forums and main site and reading the new info and stuff gives me courage and a sort of mental/spiritual strength to carry on and get out of this negativity.

I have a extremely bad problem with Marijuana and THC Vapes and its gotten to the point where im constantly high and its doing bad damage to my lungs and brain. That combined with a bad past neptune transit influence is causing chaos and insanity in my life, I just want all this chaos to end and to heal from it and get back on the spiritual path. I'm going to read the main site and study a little more and i'll be posting more here too whenever I can to start being part of the community start healing myself from the negative effects of drugs and isolation

To be honest the Marijuana and Vape problem is still ongoing and im trying to resist it and get back onto the path of advancement. Its just difficult for me at the moment, everything feels depressing and hopeless and I also barely have any financial income at the moment and im living with a family member but atleast I have something and somewhere to start with but the negative outlook and depression keeps me going back to the drugs for some cheap dopamine fix.
Just wanted to come back with a fresh account and talk about these issues and get some type of topic or discussion going to keep my mind off of the negativity and addiction.
What would be the best meditation routine for someone returning after a while of stagnation? I also keep getting thoughts in my head saying that I should wait a while and heal before I go full-force with meditations. I dont know if this is from the gods or if its my own mind, but either way it seems that its the right thing to do.

When I was younger and around the time I first found ToZ - back when it was called Joy of Satan I swore to Satan/Zeus that I wouldn't give up on him and my Spiritual development. It's embarrassing that I let myself go like this for so long.

 

[Lucifigus]

I have been away from JoS/Toz for about 2 and a half years now I've been a member since 2015. I've been neglecting myself, letting myself go and not doing meditations properly all while dealing with extreme drug abuse.

In the past I was doing ok. I was meditating and everything was going fine but a bad karmic Neptune influence started happening to me a few years ago and I sort of slowly went downhill from there. I keep getting the notion to return to the forums and start trying to heal myself and recover from all of this but this Site and the Main site has changed so much that I don't know where to even get started anymore.

I'll have to start over from scratch and try to build myself spiritually. Over the last 2 years I've been sort of trying to use the old Mantras and info I have but I just feel so isolated and in a state of decay and I need to start socializing more and to move out of this.

I have to admit to everyone in the past I was (not on these forums, but personally) an asshole. I had an extremely bad ego problem and that combined with negative karmic influences of Xianity and other dross on my soul along with bad drug addictions caused me to go downhill and start losing faith in the Gods. I've done specific things and workings in the past that Zeus and the Gods probably didn't like or approve of me doing. Things like Love/lust spells on specific 'high quality' and attractive women and stuff like that - I was a dumbass who was trying to use these powers we teach here for all the wrong reasons and because of that I think I angered our Gods and I was punished for it. I was behaving like an egotistical prick who believed he deserves everything and that was the wrong mindset to have.


Im back here trying to get used to the new name ToZ and the new info. I started slouching off and not visiting the forums for over 2 years so everything feels brand new to me. Where should I begin with my spiritual development?

I want to return and try cleansing this negative drug addiction influence out my soul and show the Gods that I can recover from this and my bad overall mindset.
I just want some support of other members here, not that I'm asking for anything from anyone - I just want to be here with you guys and know that you guys are here for me too. I have lived with very bad karmic influences and its hard dealing with them all. Thank you. Just being on the forums and main site and reading the new info and stuff gives me courage and a sort of mental/spiritual strength to carry on and get out of this negativity.

I have a extremely bad problem with Marijuana and THC Vapes and its gotten to the point where im constantly high and its doing bad damage to my lungs and brain. That combined with a bad past neptune transit influence is causing chaos and insanity in my life, I just want all this chaos to end and to heal from it and get back on the spiritual path. I'm going to read the main site and study a little more and i'll be posting more here too whenever I can to start being part of the community start healing myself from the negative effects of drugs and isolation

To be honest the Marijuana and Vape problem is still ongoing and im trying to resist it and get back onto the path of advancement. Its just difficult for me at the moment, everything feels depressing and hopeless and I also barely have any financial income at the moment and im living with a family member but atleast I have something and somewhere to start with but the negative outlook and depression keeps me going back to the drugs for some cheap dopamine fix.
Just wanted to come back with a fresh account and talk about these issues and get some type of topic or discussion going to keep my mind off of the negativity and addiction.
What would be the best meditation routine for someone returning after a while of stagnation? I also keep getting thoughts in my head saying that I should wait a while and heal before I go full-force with meditations. I dont know if this is from the gods or if its my own mind, but either way it seems that its the right thing to do.

When I was younger and around the time I first found ToZ - back when it was called Joy of Satan I swore to Satan/Zeus that I wouldn't give up on him and my Spiritual development. It's embarrassing that I let myself go like this for so long.

You said you have thoughts you should heal before you start with meditations....WRONG! You should start with Power Meditations and through these meditations, you will heal yourself (i think those thoughts were from the enemy). Start reading: https://templeofzeus.org/ again, there is lot of new information on the website, the site is updating... Than start with Power Meditations as soon as possible. All problems can be solved with Power Meditations and Satanic WItchcraft. For addiction, open your soul (3rd eye, chakras..) i read (but i dont remember which chakra does that) i think it is 6th chakra and when it is opened, it can also heal addiction.
Also do God Ritual to our God Valefor: https://tozrituals.org/ritual/god/valefor-power-ritual.html
Valefor can heal illnesses. DO IT - DO NOT WAIT!
Join us doing rituals on https://vultustemplorum.org
Also you can join Outreach: www.vultem.com

 

[newestwarrior666]

I'm far from advanced, but if there's anything that I've learned from my own experiences, it's that the Gods are always there to help as long as you want to help yourself. Transits, past karma, and negative social influence are part of the world as it is, and the Gods understand that. You don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed about past mistakes as long as you're willing to learn from them, and self awareness is the start of that. You aren't alone. When I first found this community, I had a lot of growing up to do before really understanding that the tools that we have access to are not to be played with. I'm in the middle of some intense personal transits of my own, and I really do owe my well being to the Gods and the members of this community who share this information and their experiences. I don't know how significant Neptune is in your chart, but the information in this thread by High Priestess Lydia is helpful even for Neptune transits in my own experience. If you aren't already, make sure to start cleaning and protecting your aura daily no matter what. As far as where to start again with your spiritual journey, my recommendation is to work up to being able to perform workings to target the most important areas of your life, but that starts with building the fundamentals. I can offer more suggestions with more info about what your spiritual experience is. Either way, welcome back all the same.

 

[BlueDragon]

Hey Brightsun, i made a similar post and got a lot of replies, i recomend you check out my latest post
I think it will do you a lot of good<3

 

[Apprentice]

This is good, that despite all the bad things in your life, you made it back here, and you understand how the addiction mechanism in your mind works.

Look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself: is this really all that I'm capable of? Get angry at the weakness, find that will of steel in yourself, and get busy: cleaning your Aura daily, Returning Curses, Aura of Protection. Physical action helps immensely: speedwalking, running, going to the gym if possible, Yoga at home.
Go out and find any job. You can always climb higher later, the point is to become active now and create a certain structure in your life that will keep your mind occupied.
Remember: persistence is the key. You have to make yourself routinely do certain benefic things whether you 'feel like' doing them or not.
If you apply yourself 100%, I guess a year from now you'll find yourself a happy, smiling new person.

 

[Way_Seeker666]

Welcome back. What you have already done can be incredibly difficult and I commend you for it. I know, I have been through it myself.
Get all self-defeating thoughts of shame and guilt out of your mind - you have made the right choice, the choice to change and grow, this is you now and that is something to be proud of! Sticking to this all the more so.

First, start meditating again, focus on cleaning your soul and training your mind. Be consistent with this every day while you read and ask questions to catch up on the changes here. On the information side it's not as drastic as it first seems in the sense it's really just clarified and confirmed what has been said for years, and lots has been added to deepen and expand the knowledge on The Gods. However in very positive ways there has been drastic change via growth and improvements. Don't worry, you'll catch up.
After the current schedule, you can also do Lord Valefor's Power Ritual and at the end, ask him to help with healing your mind and freedom from addiction. Do this as long as needed.

Another important thing when you're ready is psychological healing. Drug abuse is usually, if not always, a symptom of pain/trauma. You might not even remember what caused it. High Priestess Lydia's working for healing psychological trauma will help you, but as I said, when you are ready. It will bring up the issues and you need to get through it - this can be a risk to causing relapse.

You're here because are meant to be here, which means you are capable of making it. Be kind to yourself, put in the daily work, and grow close to The Gods. You can do this.

 

[BrightSun]

Welcome back. What you have already done can be incredibly difficult and I commend you for it. I know, I have been through it myself.
Get all self-defeating thoughts of shame and guilt out of your mind - you have made the right choice, the choice to change and grow, this is you now and that is something to be proud of! Sticking to this all the more so.

First, start meditating again, focus on cleaning your soul and training your mind. Be consistent with this every day while you read and ask questions to catch up on the changes here. On the information side it's not as drastic as it first seems in the sense it's really just clarified and confirmed what has been said for years, and lots has been added to deepen and expand the knowledge on The Gods. However in very positive ways there has been drastic change via growth and improvements. Don't worry, you'll catch up.
After the current schedule, you can also do Lord Valefor's Power Ritual and at the end, ask him to help with healing your mind and freedom from addiction. Do this as long as needed.

Another important thing when you're ready is psychological healing. Drug abuse is usually, if not always, a symptom of pain/trauma. You might not even remember what caused it. High Priestess Lydia's working for healing psychological trauma will help you, but as I said, when you are ready. It will bring up the issues and you need to get through it - this can be a risk to causing relapse.

You're here because are meant to be here, which means you are capable of making it. Be kind to yourself, put in the daily work, and grow close to The Gods. You can do this.

Thanks
I'm afraid of a relapse and going back to that bad mental state. I'm living with family members at the moment who are also really bad drug users and they sometimes try to offer me some and I try to refuse. The stress of the withdrawal symptoms is what im afraid of and if it will force me back into that life again. I've stopped in the past and had bad withdrawal symptoms like sleeplessness and loss of my apatite and not being able to hold food down without vomiting and the symptoms last for about 4-5 days.
It's rough but I'm trying.
The addiction isn't the only thing im dealing with either. I still have all of the stress and worry of getting my foothold in life and actually starting to live for once instead of being stuck in a state of mental and material decay.