Plans for the near future

[exarkuun1991]

As it is I am finally thinking with my head. All this in the US government has me a bit rattled. I have been working on earth elemental as it's my element. I know, I can train others, but I needed to..sharpen this blade before I start on another, to put it in words.
1) Can earth be used to kill? I imagine all colored and elemental energy can be used to kill or harm, adding in grey..I have so little grey practice, though, bringing me to..
2) Does general practice and aura empowering affect strength of grey magick? I don't have targets I want to practice on by killing or hurting..I'm not that kind of person. I only kill as i need to..which I have done using energy once. 
3) Is creating a grey servitor, with or without another energy, a wise idea? I want a killing servitor..I find it very hard to bring myself to harm another, without great anger and hatred..it just does not come or conjure easily. I'm quite peaceful, really..Oh, if I should add other energy to this servitor/thoughtform, what should I use?
4) I worked on a servitor that was designed to improve my energy reserves, after my guardian informed me, servitors are my strong point(lots and lots of lifetimes of practice, mind you)..so I made one to empower me with energy. Apparently, despite what I have typed, my elements are all "equal", at least in the intensity I can feel them. Is this intensity, this depth to the energy, what equates to usable power? I mean it'd be cool if I could learn fire to hurt, or to actually set things on fire..
5) Not really a question, but besides training to do things on our own, can't servitors essentially do everything? I have made a good slew of servitors for usage..one accelerates healing of wounds, one will empower my own energy and the others, one is designed to lockpick, and another has been created to help me turn invisible, like sight..am I being stupid in all this? I really really do what I can to become stronger, but, I feel limited unless I am using a lot of servitors.
Now I feel kinda sad. My strength comes from my creations, not myself. Maybe I'm not a witch?

 

[Light Yagami]

Aaah, so many questions of things I can't help you with...
Well, can someone actually make a "grey" servitor? Sounds a bit messy, I believe... And you'd have to feed the servitor energy once in a while, right?
Personally, I believe you should work on trying to get the wrath and rage needed, in order to actually bring yourself to harm someone. For example, jews. I remember, when I had done my first destruction working, it was really hard for me to accumulate and release anger; I don't know why, I just couldn't do it. Now, after some time with doing the meditations etc, I find it sooooo satisfying doing the destruction working... xDMy entire body shivers with all the energy and wrath that I gather while doing the working.
I believe it is important to learn to have all aspects and emotions in your life (and to be able to control them of course), so instead of creating a servitor for that purpose, maybe you should try to do it on your own.
Απο: "exarkuun1991@..." <exarkuun1991@...
Προς: [email protected]
Στάλθηκε: 1:32 π.μ. Σάββατο, 12 Οκτωβρίου 2013
Θέμα: [JoyofSatan666] Plans for the near future

  As it is I am finally thinking with my head. All this in the US government has me a bit rattled. I have been working on earth elemental as it's my element. I know, I can train others, but I needed to..sharpen this blade before I start on another, to put it in words.
1) Can earth be used to kill? I imagine all colored and elemental energy can be used to kill or harm, adding in grey..I have so little grey practice, though, bringing me to..
2) Does general practice and aura empowering affect strength of grey magick? I don't have targets I want to practice on by killing or hurting..I'm not that kind of person. I only kill as i need to..which I have done using energy once. 
3) Is creating a grey servitor, with or without another energy, a wise idea? I want a killing servitor..I find it very hard to bring myself to harm another, without great anger and hatred..it just does not come or conjure easily. I'm quite peaceful, really..Oh, if I should add other energy to this servitor/thoughtform, what should I use?
4) I worked on a servitor that was designed to improve my energy reserves, after my guardian informed me, servitors are my strong point(lots and lots of lifetimes of practice, mind you)..so I made one to empower me with energy. Apparently, despite what I have typed, my elements are all "equal", at least in the intensity I can feel them. Is this intensity, this depth to the energy, what equates to usable power? I mean it'd be cool if I could learn fire to hurt, or to actually set things on fire..
5) Not really a question, but besides training to do things on our own, can't servitors essentially do everything? I have made a good slew of servitors for usage..one accelerates healing of wounds, one will empower my own energy and the others, one is designed to lockpick, and another has been created to help me turn invisible, like sight..am I being stupid in all this? I really really do what I can to become stronger, but, I feel limited unless I am using a lot of servitors.
Now I feel kinda sad. My strength comes from my creations, not myself. Maybe I'm not a witch?

 

[exarkuun1991]

well thanks for that. I'm just gonna use a fire and black servitor then. seems easier.