My whole being is a cluttered, foggy, mess... :( please someone help

[l3bekk]

Ok so I've done some reading on errant thought forms and past life and a whole lot of other things that have to do with thoughts and finding out who you are. I'm new to Satanism and its really, really hard. I'm never was really an intuitive person or was "sensitive" , though I had days and even some I don't even remember as a child. I'm pretty curious about who I was in the past life, I have a feeling I may not be too happy about it judging by the type of person I use to be before satanism, I want to make this lifetime well worth spent on accomplishing my goals and growing more spiritually than I ever was in past lifetimes. Sometimes when I meditate I feel things, but it's hard to tell whether its happening or I'm forcing or thinking something is happening kind of like the placebo effect Idk. But sometimes I find it difficult to imagine and visualize when it comes to spirituality, it's weird because I am an artist and I draw alot and am told to be a very creative and an "imaginative" person, and I even day dream alot so my mind wander quite frequently, I can't really still my mind for even a minute, I'd have to try ETREMELY Hard, when it comes to trying to spiritually grow my ability to imagine vividly and clearly gets a little muddy, I think I'm just one of those people who are spiritually severely damaged, I came from a xian background wanting so bad to be a good xian follower of Jesus (who I believe now don't even exist) and even got baptized and all, I've had some good outcomes with meditation and some bad outcomes like feeling drained (like waking up from sleeping) or back pain along the spine, I don't know sometimes if I'm doing things right because everything is an on and off and I just get different effects and feelings, want to get a grip on who I am and grow spiritually and overcome many things but it is very hard. Can anyone help, which meditations should I be doing the most to stabilize my mind and being? I REALLY NEED TO KNOW! Thanks. Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[Shannon Outlaw]

Some of us when we are new go through these things of feeling cluttered and unfocused spiritually and unbalanced.

You should focus in void meditation especially dont give up. When i was new i couldnt focus and felt unbalanced. It was very annoying. But trust me yoy have to start somewhere. When we first begin to meditate our mind and souls arenot use to it so there is a bit if resistant. The mind and soul will feel unbalanced as it is trying to regain its equilibrium. Keep going as it will get better.

Not meditating will actually make it worse and wont do u any good.
Choose the meditations you want to do according to how you feel. Chakra.meditation, yoga, breathing exercises and aura of protection. Just do meditation.according to you. Most importantly be patient with yourself. You can do this. Meditation will help you more than you think.
------------------------------

On Sun, Jul 7, 2013 5:28 PM PDT l3bekk wrote:

Ok so I've done some reading on errant thought forms and past life and a whole lot of other things that have to do with thoughts and finding out who you are. I'm new to Satanism and its really, really hard. I'm never was really an intuitive person or was "sensitive" , though I had days and even some I don't even remember as a child. I'm pretty curious about who I was in the past life, I have a feeling I may not be too happy about it judging by the type of person I use to be before satanism, I want to make this lifetime well worth spent on accomplishing my goals and growing more spiritually than I ever was in past lifetimes. Sometimes when I meditate I feel things, but it's hard to tell whether its happening or I'm forcing or thinking something is happening kind of like the placebo effect Idk. But sometimes I find it difficult to imagine and visualize when it comes to spirituality, it's weird because I am an artist and I draw alot and am told to be a
very creative and an "imaginative" person, and I even day dream alot so my mind wander quite frequently, I can't really still my mind for even a minute, I'd have to try ETREMELY Hard, when it comes to trying to spiritually grow my ability to imagine vividly and clearly gets a little muddy, I think I'm just one of those people who are spiritually severely damaged, I came from a xian background wanting so bad to be a good xian follower of Jesus (who I believe now don't even exist) and even got baptized and all, I've had some good outcomes with meditation and some bad outcomes like feeling drained (like waking up from sleeping) or back pain along the spine, I don't know sometimes if I'm doing things right because everything is an on and off and I just get different effects and feelings, want to get a grip on who I am and grow spiritually and overcome many things but it is very hard. Can anyone help, which meditations should I be doing the most to
stabilize my mind and being? I REALLY NEED TO KNOW! Thanks. Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.