In my opinion, you may still have not divorced yourself from Christianity completely. If that is not the case, you may want to change circumstances in your life, is anyone making you feel this way? regardless of there motives? Have you done the meditations? which I have done to a lesser degree but am not well versed in, as stated in the joy of Satan website the gods do NOT want you to kill yourself, your feelings may be either spiritual or situational, or a combination of both. I do hope you will find the truth in Satan, as I have to a degree in certain ways.
I’m no expert, you may need help from higher up, nevertheless, suicide is most definitely something you should reconsider, practice void. It’s instant happiness and wellbeing, hope you pull through, HS Sent from my iPhone
Oh! Look what they have done to you child. What is the reason why you want to escape? From yourself? And who told you you should? I bet you are awsome to the eyes of our Lord. Them, the enemies, have made you beleive otherwise about yourself. Do you feel like you are in a prision? Just be patient, meditate strong, make plans to move, but you must realize what is pushing you to want that. You can get psichiatrical or psichological help, yes, but don't be afraid, Lord Satan's hands are always holding yours, do not be afraid, go through that shadow without fear.
Hail Satan forever.
Don’t do it. All of your problems will manifest in your next life and could be even worse. You’re very young, meditate and heal your wounds and hangups, the jew would be very happy if you’d kill yourself, but you can kill the jew and destroy all of your problems by meditating and doing the rtrs.