In the j/news today from the Bullshit, Alternative and False-facts-file - ’Crime has no gender’, says Europol

[FancyMancy]

I forgot to add this one -

 

[Dalacos]

Maybe it is my inner fatass but the food one MWAH *kissy noise* <3 its so me I'm so telling everyone this from now . . . gonna go full xD kid #kitchenIsBestRoom

 

[FancyMancy]

Maybe it is my inner fatass but the food one MWAH *kissy noise* <3 its so me I'm so telling everyone this from now . . . gonna go full xD kid #kitchenIsBestRoom

I assume you mean you are (or used to be) overweight or could do with losing a bit of weight. I'm not a "fat arse", as you said you are/were, but I still lolled at that one, as well. I would change it to "kitchen have food" so it fits in with the theme of the other 3 lines. If you are anything like me, I'd say the first line and then wait deliberately for triggered complaints and crying. Then I'd say the 2nd line, pause slightly and then (hoping to interrupt any reply/trigger cry) say the 3rd line. Then hopefully with confused looks on their faces, promptly I'd say the fourth line. She's a good'n.

 

[FancyMancy]

I also forgot to add this first one -

killed by being thrown off a building*

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