So, my life's gone to garbage, not to say that it was ever great to begin with.
I was raised with loose Christian teachings, went to church when I was little, tried my absolute hardest to believe that 'those' methods of worship were worth anything, but they aren't. I've found the same hollow garbage and one-liner after another.
My life is literally going nowhere. I have no friends. I live at home (21 years old) with my mom and step-dad, unemployed. I don't ever recall being in love. I can't find motivation in life any more.
I stumbled across the joyofsatan website a while ago and the more I came the more sense it made. I don't know why, it just did. But now comes the dilemma I have. I...don't know where to go. I'm scared to do the ritual because the loose teachings of 'that' faith have basically scared the crap outta me. I'm scared of drawing blood. I can't perform a ritual as often as I should. I'm just flat out scared.
Can anyone enlighten me on what changes should occur? Or any of the other problems I've named?
I also...feel greedy about why I'd join. I feel like I don't really deserve the changes or anything else in life, for that matter.
Thank you for reading.
I was raised with loose Christian teachings, went to church when I was little, tried my absolute hardest to believe that 'those' methods of worship were worth anything, but they aren't. I've found the same hollow garbage and one-liner after another.
My life is literally going nowhere. I have no friends. I live at home (21 years old) with my mom and step-dad, unemployed. I don't ever recall being in love. I can't find motivation in life any more.
I stumbled across the joyofsatan website a while ago and the more I came the more sense it made. I don't know why, it just did. But now comes the dilemma I have. I...don't know where to go. I'm scared to do the ritual because the loose teachings of 'that' faith have basically scared the crap outta me. I'm scared of drawing blood. I can't perform a ritual as often as I should. I'm just flat out scared.
Can anyone enlighten me on what changes should occur? Or any of the other problems I've named?
I also...feel greedy about why I'd join. I feel like I don't really deserve the changes or anything else in life, for that matter.
Thank you for reading.
