I can't relax and be myself during dates. People sometimes think I'm uptight. Especially if I have a dinner date with someone outside. Eating out makes me very nervous, and the more nervous I get, the worse things get. What could these issues be related to? How can I solve this eating problem in particular? I'm really scared that if I spill my food if I eat wrong, even swallowing audibly makes me feel like I'm a disgusting person. And when it comes to sex, even though I've had a few opportunities, I've avoided even kissing because I don't know how to kiss. Even if I don't notice it when the other person touches me, I react strangely. Even when they just want to hug me, my body feels very artificial and out of place. I'm really full of insecurities, and how can I resolve this?
I'm spamming this thread at this point, sorry. I forgot the second part.
To be yourself on dates, do the dates about things you feel like you are yourself, most comfortable, secure, and sure. If there is X activity you regularly do, like, have confidence, consider it if it can be a date. ''I have a badminton match, would you like to come watch and support me?'' This is actually a bad idea, because you will be separated and not communicating. You can invite them to try the sport and practice it with you, if the sport is something you are confiedent, have been doing since childhood, you/her/him like friendly competition, there will be natural occurances of physical touching, et cetera.
Be creative and try to remember when was it you feel most confident and relaxed. Instead of forcing yourself to be confident in a date you are feeling insecure, make something you are confident a date opportunity. If you are a great chef, have mastery in this, you can cook and make them try while you are cooking. You won't be eating in this example. You can create cute small contacts such as feeding the other person with a fork so they can try it while you are cooking.
There is also another issue, if you mess up, for instance, cut/burn yourself while cooking or fall down doing a sport you are confident or break the water glass during dinner date, the other person will probably run to your help. Treating the injury can be another opportunity for contact. Don't feel ashamed, take things as they come and make the most out of them. If you spill water on the table, the other person's reaction such as trying to find their napkin to help will make you get to know them. If they are someone who is overly critical, insufferable, it is a bad match anyway.
