I might made the bad decision, but its too late

Can't stand pessimistic people. Instead of complaing you could think positively even if it isn't the case. Just accept that it is possible to heal your self even if you can't heal yourself now one day you will be abele or get a solution trough others or get healed through others if you believe in it and think positively on daily basis. When i had negative pessimistic thought, if there was one negative thought i would just say 3 times the opposite of it, and didn't continued to think about it. Use affirmations to program your self to use the best personality of your self. And also for pozitive zevist thinking and mindset. Here:

My strongest personality is always active and it is always ruling my life in the best possible way for me.

No Zevist was born only to "vent" and to complain about their existence. Everyone, literally everyone, has their set of issues. The world needs us to be doers, not complainers.

Have you tried low carb/keto/carnivore? It could help.

It wasn't a fool's choice to live. It is a brave thing to do.

You say he signalled that you can go, but I do not believe that is true.

It is not a lack of pride that ails you, but the circumstance.

You have not healed it yet, that is true.

But you are laying the groundwork, day in day out.

You see not the growth of the forest beneath your feet, and so you believe no progress has been made. That is not true.

You may not have "died with honor", but you are living honorably.

If anything was denied these past three years, it was cowardice.

Who signaled you that "you could go if you want"!?....like permission? That doesn't sound like anything I've learned here, condoned here, or from Zeus.

I know so many people living full and healthy lives with T1D; which leads me to ask, are you having trouble accessing necessary medicine, making dietary changes or getting guidance from medical professionals to manage your diagnosis?

You despise your life, yet you are a Zevist, with amazing opportunities in front of you; please do not waste this. I hope you get the help you need, this can be overcome and you are able to rise above this.

I don't know what T1D is but because the physical body holds a lot of karma seeds- the ama on the 4 levels of karma you can listen to on youtube- it's entirely possible that this so happens to be asked that has come to full fruit in this life. So it can be a teaching lesson- show you how to deal with all kinds of things in regards to this illness.

You could do a God ritual and ask how best to use this illness to make your soul stronger, also advice on how to help your body obviously. you just never know till you try.

Hail our wonderful Father Zeus

Die with honor? You would only die with honor of you did something great in life regardless of what disease you have. You have the option to die with honor and knowing you did everything you could and seized every day regardless, but if you would have died back then it wouldn't have been anything special, you would have chosen the easier path instead of the better path.

I understand, in a way, what you are feeling. Type 1 Diabetes isn't the end of your life. Its an illness, a sad one to have.

If it could help you pierce that obsession you have with this illness, I have some example of sucessful people with T1D for you.
- A friend of mine, in High School, 16 years old, during a football practice, fell to the ground, not moving. He was diagnosed with T1D that day. He kept playing the rest of the year. He kept going not making T1D as an excuse to give up on life. He is know a MD, even wordked at night (not the best to control an illness like that) and have 3 beautiful kids.
- Another football players, a professionnal one, making millions of dollars "despite" the illness. You could read his story here

Here is a list of famous people with T1D, many athletes in the list, most of them are still alive and above 70 years of age.

The problem isn't T1D, its the way you give it power. We have a lot of tools to detach from how you are feeling and thinking about the illness.

I hope you can make this illness less than 1% of your life, because it is not defining who you are.

Brother this is part of the human experience.

Everybody has their own limitations in life

As Zevists we have access to even more tools and resources than others

We must be resilient and push forward

In the future you can take pride that you progressed in life and achieved a lot DESPITE your setbacks and limitations

Setting unrealistic expectations for your life and your capabilities is only going to set you up for disappointment

As for the near death experience , life is precious and you should be happy for another day of life

Personally I had periods in my life where I was worried I would not make it at all

And I’m grateful everyday to wake up and take part in this life and our mission on earth

Don’t underestimate the value of this

i wanted tell u the same on the VT, but i was banned for no reason again, so, I have quite a few diseases myself, but I'm not here to compare you to me, I'll tell you something else - people who have suffered all their lives tend to become brilliant creative people. What is most interesting, as a rule, eudaimonia is expressed most vividly against the background of suffering, it acquires special value against the background of pain one might have.

Personally, I feel this way, I imagine myself living in a lighthouse in an ocean of suffering, enjoying my small pleasures on it, which seem much bigger against the background of everything else. You can write to me personally if u need some support, I know what suffering is, both mental and physical. If a person gives up, it turns out that all the efforts that both the Gods and the parents put into you were in vain, as well as all the sufferings that you have already endured. The path is worth following to the end. I wont tell u "stay strong" i will tell u instead "accept the absurd of that reality"