I just need to know why this happens

[82231a29e642bf2025efce742e53b0dd]

So I've been meditating for a few months doing yoga and trying my best with void meditation, before I ever dedicated my soul or started doing this I had bad problems with depression and anxiety.Also I want to note that before I ever meditated especially when I listened to music I would get what feels like a fountain of energy coming from my crown chakra and its been happening more lately which I really enjoy and some days I'm fine but sometimes I get in a really bad place and get really down on myself. Is there any advice you can give me because sometimes I feel so trapped I don't even want to exist it really gets to me I don't know why. I do aura cleanings everyday lately and I think it's helping but sometimes I just get stuck in hatred and anger and I feel empty inside. Sometimes I even feel like Im not welcome to all this what do you think is going on with me. I stand for what you all talk about I live a simple life I'm pretty much dedicated as much as possible to meditation and bettering myself but some days I feel so hopeless. Do you have any advice for overcoming this and any hopeful words?

 

[light_algur]

You are not under full protection. I suggest dedicating as soon as you can if you are taking your path very seriously. I believe it may be the enemy trying to misdirect you from becoming an SS. If you are meditating, what exactly are you waiting for to dedicate?