I had social anxiety for most of my life. I was pleading to someone about it once, telling her about how I was missing out on experiences that people normally have when they can relax and associate with people around them. She told me that the reason I felt such an aversion, because I was the only one actually aware of people's deeper feelings hidden by the superficiality that normally paints the picture of any social situation. The idea is that normally people feel okay enough to express themselves because they've spent a good portion of their lives watching, imitating, and fixating their conscious being on what sort of lingo, or way of composing will gather the most people's acceptance and support. That way if anyone criticizes them, or whatever sort of confliction, they can know that there are a bunch of people out there who like, agree with, and support them already, so there isn't any real reason to regard any opposition. While they can fix internally on a set of preconceptions, someone who is actively attending life is waiting to observe what takes place to shape the course of their actions.
There is a reason you feel anxiety, its probably because your not stupid enough to think you know how to deal with situations before they even happen. If you measure your worth on those people who have dedicated to regulating and asserting majority standards, all you will see is that you don't have as much experience categorizing and perfecting ways of expressing those sort of ideas. If instead of attending that perspective, you immerse yourself in finding a way to actualize whatever it is about your core self that your social anxiety recognizes is not compatible with general social situations, you will eventually find a way to work your life on your own terms. Even if you have to work it out where no one else can see. Eventually you can shape your life to reflect the core of your self, and if you are faced with a social situation not compatible with the way you deal with life, you can face that situation with your own functioning approach. There wont be any more reason to measure yourself to those standards that reflect to your outward being as anxiety, cause if those standards were truly worth anything to you, that reflection would instead express in the same dedication to reputation and general socializing that enables them to excel by that form.
I dont mean to assume any particular vulnerability or weakness of your character, these are just things I've found to be true about myself. I used to have crippling social anxiety, I eventually worked out the most objectively fair way of dealing with other people I could manage, I make sure I always consider other's point of view with the same care I would consider my own, and am satisfied with my own self. I mean, I'd never imagined that I could live with almost no doubt, but it really is possible. Instead of dwelling in that shitty feeling in your gut, just observe your surroundings inactively until an impulse to act come to mind, and follow it. The most basic, instinctual drive's within conscious beings, are pure expressions of Nature, and only exist because a physically existent chain of events came to eventually shape that actualized living force within you. Through that force you will find the prime state of your being, and can become the most capable and reliable person possible. Nobody can ever know how better to deal with your life than what you see when you search the whole of your self
---In
[email protected], <qplayer37@... wrote :
so i have SA, is there something to help me get rid of it, alongside social situations in real life??Ive been working to get rid of it, but it still haunts me. SA is the reason i did not graduate from Highschool, and the reason i do not have a job. SA feels like a different entity from me, Im aware of it, i crave different things it prevents me from doing. SA really feels like something or someone else, its not me.